Show notes
Michelle Thöle joins us today on The SHAIR Podcast. Michelle is the author of My Journey Through Darkness, a true life story of an ordinary young girl who records her journey as a drug addict. Omar: Do you remember how old you were the first time you drank, or used drugs? And more importantly, how they made you feel? That first time? Michelle: Yeah, I was 14 and I started smoking, and about at the age of 16 I started going to a lot of parties with the older crowd of kids. We lived outside a big city, we were in a small town. So, we had a lot of house parties. I mean, I remembered nights where my folks would come pick me up at 11 or 12, which was my curfew, and my mother would try and cover for me, because I was stumbling to the car. So, that was the beginning of drinking. But I must say, I was always very, very afraid of drugs, because I was always kind of fascinated by it. So, I'd read a lot of books about it. You know, the usual trainspotting and basketball diaries. So, I felt very educated, and also very scared of it. I always used to say, and I guess this is so true when we think of the phrase, "the power of the spoken word," because I used to say, "I never want be introduced to drugs, because my curiosity will get the better of me, and I'll try it, and I'll become a heroin addict." Yeah, what happened was I did end up becoming a heroin addict many years later. Omar: What is the best suggestion you have ever received? Michelle: Well, at the time, I must say it seemed very abstract, but it was actually the best suggestion I ever received. It was when I was in London, but also feeling like there's just no hope, no solution, nobody can help me. I went to see a drug worker, from the Hillsong Church actually, or counselor. She listened to me, and we spoke, and I was so expectant to have some kind of answer. All she did was say to me, "I want you to go home, and I want you to go and sit before God, and get into his word again, and find out who you are in him." I was like, "Oh, that sucks. I thought you were going to help me." You know? That's not a solution. But later on, I understood what that meant. Even now in my life, I've been through other things in the last few years, which are totally not drug related, but also very big battles. Every time, I realize when I get quiet, and I go sit at God's feet again, I realize that I lost that thing of who I am in him. I'm not seeing myself through his eyes, I'm seeing myself through the enemy's eyes. So, I am weak. I am pathetic. I am useless. It's those lies that make us unable to fight any battle, and that's where the enemy wants to keep us. So for me, the best advice I ever had was go and find out, and go look for it. Who you are in God. Omar: If you could give our listeners only one suggestion, what would it be? Michelle: Never give up. I guess having a fighting spirit is extremely important. I know I have to give one suggestion, but it goes hand in hand. What we've been saying along is surrendering. Surrendering is key for me, and I really say that with regards to not only my recovery from addition, but in terms of coping with everyday life. Surrender. Surrender to God.
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