The SelfWork Podcast

Latest Episodes:

507 SelfWork: How to Effectively Talk To A Perfectionist Jul 17, 2026

Show notes

The subject for today is how to talk with a perfectionist about your concern for them. Or if you’re the perfectionist, how to allow someone into your world enough for you to hear that concern. I'll offer five definite approaches that work and you'll learn about the feedback loop that makes perfectionism addictive.

Order The Perfectly Hidden Depression Workbook - A stand-alone workbook exploring the ten traits of Perfectly Hidden Depression, with guided exercises to help you decide what to keep from your drive and perfectionism, and what to let go.

Be a part of the conversation and join Dr. Margaret’s newsletter for one weekly email featuring the latest blog post and podcast episode.

Have a question or comment? Send a voice message for possible use on the podcast. By recording, you give permission for your voice to be used on SelfWork!

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506 SelfWork: Therapy Harm: Straight Talk with Dr. Patricia Dixon Jul 10, 2026

Show notes

Therapy harm is the topic this week, as Dr. Margaret welcomes her guest Dr. Patricia Dixon to SelfWork.

What is therapy harm?

We talk more openly than ever about the benefits of therapy, but less about the ways therapy can unintentionally cause harm. And harm does happen far too often with therapists who do things or say things that hurt their clients. Maybe it’s over-sharing, being dismissive of something their client is trying to describe, invalidating their experience. Or perhaps even worse, letting a client know of an attraction to them that they feel.

Dr. Patricia Dixon, an expert in therapy harm and what's termed "colorism"

Today psychologist and mental health advocate Dr. Patricia Dixon is shedding light on the often misunderstood concept of “therapy harm.” She explains what it is, how it can happen even with the best intentions, and why clients who experience it often struggle to speak up. We’re also going to focus on what’s called “colorism” - when fairer skin becomes an avenue toward privilege - and how she addresses that in her teaching and practice. Colorism happens in multiple cultures and is so important to legitimize as happening regularly.

Order The Perfectly Hidden Depression Workbook - A stand-alone workbook exploring the ten traits of Perfectly Hidden Depression, with guided exercises to help you make decisions about what to keep about your perfectionism and what to challenge.

Be a part of the conversation and join Dr. Margaret’s newsletter for one weekly email featuring the latest blog post and podcast episode.

Have a question or comment? Send a voice message for possible use on the podcast. By recording, you give permission for your voice to be used on SelfWork!

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

505 SelfWork: What's The Most Recent News For Depression Sufferers in 2026? Jul 03, 2026

Show notes

What's the most recent news for depression sufferers in 2026?

That's the question Dr. Margaret researched today. Some new treatments are available now; some are still trying to get FDA approval. But there's a lot of promise out there, especially for what's termed treatment-resistant depression.

There's also a new book out, Rethinking Suicide, that points out more recent research findings in suicide prevention.

Be a part of the conversation and join Dr. Margaret’s newsletter for one weekly email featuring the latest blog post and podcast episode.

Have a question or comment? Send a voice message for possible use on the podcast. By recording, you give permission for your voice to be used on SelfWork!

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

504 SelfWork: Your Questions and Answers: Is Anorexia Back "In", Borderline Moms, and Mother/Son Enmeshment Jun 26, 2026

Show notes

Dr. Margaret will focus today on questions and answers that listeners have sent her by either voicemail or email.

First topic for today: Is anorexia back "in" as beautiful?

Second: Why could you be allowing your mom (with borderline traits) to occupy such emotional space in your life?

And third: If I'm openly sad when my son is getting ready to leave home, am I unintentionally setting him up to feel guilty?

I so appreciate it when either listeners to the podcast or readers on my website comment to me, leave me a Speakpipe voicemail, or send in an email!

So thank you to any and all of you who've sent in questions and comments. Keep them coming!

Be a part of the conversation and join Dr. Margaret’s newsletter for one weekly email featuring the latest blog post and podcast episode.

Have a question or comment? Send a voice message for possible use on the podcast. By recording, you give permission for your voice to be used on SelfWork!

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

503 SelfWork: Important Insights Into How to Interpret the Enneagram with Courtney Smith Jun 19, 2026

Show notes

Discover how to interpret the Enneagram in this episode of SelfWork! It's a personality test that's been around for decades. How is it different from other personality scales and what has made it so popular for so many years?

Our expert speaker is Courtney Smith, who's a coach, group facilitator, and consultant who works with individuals and Fortune 500 companies to achieve change. She is a renowned practitioner of the Enneagram personality system, which she teaches alongside other personal development tools. She is the coauthor with Elise Loehnen of Choosing Wholeness Over Goodness. Courtney's newsletter is What We're Really Up To.

Be a part of the conversation and join Dr. Margaret’s newsletter for one weekly email featuring the latest blog post and podcast episode.

Have a question or comment? Send a voice message for possible use on the podcast. By recording, you give permission for your voice to be used on SelfWork!

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

502 SelfWork: The Medical and Mental Trauma of Chronic Invisible Illness with Amy Kurtz Jun 12, 2026

Show notes

In this SelfWork episode, Dr. Margaret interviews an expert on medical and mental trauma of chronic illness - Amy Kurtz.

194 million Americans–more than 76 percent of the population–are living with chronic illness. Many eventually stabilize, but what happens when the body heals and you still don’t feel safe inside it?

Patient advocate and health coach Amy Kurtz knows this gap in our healthcare system firsthand. Having gone to 36 doctors, she was already exhausted from that decades-long effort. Finally hearing the diagnosis of late-stage neurological Lyme disease with co-infections, and getting the right treatment, her labs may have improved.

But as her body began to stabilize, the fear didn’t fade. She lived in constant anticipation that her health would collapse again at any moment. It was her husband who finally named what she couldn’t: the illness may have receded, but the trauma hadn’t.

What emerged from that conversation is her book that came out this week - BUT YOU LOOK FINE (Balance, June 9), an earnest guide to get through the dark tunnel of what she calls Medical Trauma Brain: the lingering imprint of illness that doesn’t disappear just because the diagnosis improves.

Be a part of the conversation and join Dr. Margaret’s newsletter for one weekly email featuring the latest blog post and podcast episode.

Have a question or comment? Send a voice message for possible use on the podcast. By recording, you give permission for your voice to be used on SelfWork!

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Introducing How To!: “How To Take Psychedelics for Your Mental Health with Dr. Will Van Derveer” Jun 09, 2026

Show notes

This week we’re sharing a special episode from our friends at How To!, the 2026 Ambie Award-nominated “Best Personal Growth Podcast” that’s back with a new host and new topics to fuel your curiosity.

Each week on How To!, award-winning journalist Mike Pesca tackles a listener’s question – on topics ranging from travel and finance to health and relationships – with help from world-class experts who actually know what they're talking about. Think of it as eavesdropping on someone else's therapy session, without the co-pay or awkward silence.

And today, we’re sharing their recent episode “How To Take Psychedelics for Your Mental Health” where Mike interviews psychiatrist Dr. Will Van der Veer, a psychedelic researcher, and Myq Kaplan who has taken psychedelics for his mental health and other reasons. I love this episode because you get to hear a bunch of personal experiences of medical psychedelics and learn more about this emerging treatment for mental health conditions.

And for more interviews like this, make sure to follow How To! on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. And tell them we sent you.

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501 SelfWork: Cultural Humility: What It Takes To Walk in Someone Else's Shoes Jun 05, 2026

Show notes

Dr. Margaret focuses today on the vital importance of what’s termed “cultural humility” as she responds to a listener voicemail, pointing out that as she’s a white person, her advice comes from a place of privilege in the US.

Do you have to have walked in someone else’s shoes, carried the same load as they have, lived a life very similar to theirs – to truly understand them? Or to offer something helpful to them?

I received a very open and honest voicemail this week that addresses this question. What follows is also a discussion of the difference between cultural competence and cultural humility.

Be a part of the conversation and join Dr. Margaret’s newsletter for one weekly email featuring the latest blog post and podcast episode.

Have a question or comment? Send a voice message for possible use on the podcast. By recording, you give permission for your voice to be used on SelfWork!

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

500 SelfWork: Paul Gilmartin On Healing from Maternal Sexual Abuse May 28, 2026

Show notes

It’s a little hard to describe Paul Gilmartin.

He's worked as a stand-up comic. He makes furniture. And he's a maternal abuse survivor.

To add to that, he was one of the first hosts of the TBS show Dinner and A Movie. In fact, he hosted that show for years – and people still recognize him when he’s out and about!

But his life has moved in many directions.

Since 2011 however, he’s been the host of the Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast – where he interviews all kinds of people – occasionally a mental health professional. And he encourages folks on the podcast to be as honest as they’re ready to be – about things that many have a struggle with revealing.

I was honored to be on his podcast a few months ago. Paul’s demeanor is such that you find yourself talking to him like no one’s listening… which of course they will eventually be doing just that. He creates a safe space to do that within – and I found it quite a forgiving and emotionally supportive space. Something that makes his podcast unique is that he encourages his listeners to fill out anonymous surveys so he knows what exactly they’re going through – and no holes are barred as far as subject matter. And that’s where his conversations go – into territory that holds shame or fear for many.

You can perhaps tell I’m a huge advocate for his work.

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499 SelfWork: Emotional Martyrdom: It's Different Than Self-Sacrifice May 22, 2026

Show notes

Emotional martyrdom. What is it? And where does it come from? That's today's SelfWork episode.

Recently, I got a comment on the questionnaire blogpost on perfectly hidden depression - from a woman whose every word convinced me that there are too many people in the world who believe it's their job to keep everyone around them happy.

So today we're going to look at what's termed emotional martyrdom. This could be you or someone you're in a relationship with. It can sound like, "It's my job to keep everyone happy, whether or not I am happy myself." Or, "Don't worry about me, I'm fine." Or, "I'm not hungry. Y'all go on and eat what's there and I'll see what's left."

Emotional martyrdom can be insidious, as it often masquerades as altruism but leads to neglecting one's own needs and happiness.

The listener email involves a woman who was overly enmeshed with her own mom. She felt guilt for leaving in seeing other members of the family becoming enmeshed. But she also realized she might be repeating the same pattern, and asks the question, "Should she overcompensate or work on things slowly?"

ORDER The Perfectly Hidden Depression Workbook - A stand-alone workbook exploring the ten traits of Perfectly Hidden Depression, with guided exercises to help you decide what to keep from your drive and perfectionism, and what to let go.

Be a part of the conversation and join Dr. Margaret’s newsletter for one weekly email featuring the latest blog post and podcast episode.

Have a question or comment? Send a voice message for possible use on the podcast. By recording, you give permission for your voice to be used on SelfWork!

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

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What is therapy harm?

Dr. Patricia Dixon, an expert in therapy harm and what's termed "colorism"

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