The Scummy Mummies Podcast

Latest Episodes:

Episode 24: Festival Special feat. DJ Ghetto Booty Jul 01, 2014

Show notes

Dancing, shouting, mud baths, raw sewage - in many ways, music festivals are just large-scale children's parties. So we're celebrating the start of the season with DJ Amanda Gettrup, who'll be appearing at Camp Bestival next month.

Ellie explains why she thinks all festivals are rubbish actually, and Helen looks forward to attending three with her this summer. We address important topical questions like how relevant Five Star are today and whether happiness really is the truth. Plus, we find out our DJ names and take part in what must be the first ever rap battle to feature the word "taramasalata". It may be the worst thing we have ever done.

Thanks for listening! And if you'd like to see the Scummy Mummies LIVE, come on down to the Caversham Festival near Reading. We'll be performing there on Sunday 13th July. It's FREE!

Or you can see us at Camp Bestival, along with Amanda. And finally there's our Camden Fringe show - Sat 23 and Sun 24 August at the Hen and Chickens, 3pm. Get your tickets now!

Amanda's on Twitter (@amandagettrup) and so are we (@scummymummies). Please feel free to Like us on Facebook and if you'd like to leave us a review on iTunes, that would be lovely. Ta!

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Episode 23: The Sexpisode Jun 17, 2014

Show notes

WARNING: This episode is for adults only. That's probably true of all of them, to be honest, but definitely don't listen to this while in the vicinity of small children, unless you fancy an afternoon trying to explain what lube is.

We're having a full and frank discussion about sex. Joining us to offer expert advice is fanny physio Sarah Lorentzen, otherwise known as the Derren Brown of Vajayjays. She gives us her top tips for keeping your downstairs in shape and having sex after childbirth. Plus she suggests an alternative use for those food bag clips they sell in Ikea.

The rest of the episode is so filthy it cannot be summarised here. We haven't even bleeped out the swears. Let's just say the range of topics covered includes pilates, pelvic floors and Penelope Keith.

Thank you for listening! And sorry.

If you'd like to see the Scummy Mummies LIVE, we're appearing at various festivals this summer, including the Camden Fringe on 23 and 24 August. Full details are on ScummyMummies.com.

We'd love your feedback - please tweet us @scummymummies or we're at facebook.com/scummymummiespodcast. And if you feel like leaving us an iTunes review, that would be lovely. Ta!

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Episode 22: Crappy Father's Day Jun 02, 2014

Show notes

Stay-at-home dad Steve Hill returns as our "special" guest this episode. With father's day coming up we talk about what it means to be a dad, but of course it's not long before the whole thing descends into nonsense.

Helen and Ellie present Steve with a selection of high quality father's day gifts (total retail value £3.39.) There's some top chat about the price of Lynx, the World Cup and a real-life encounter with Mr. T. Helen explains her sexual preferences using a convoluted metaphor involving picnics and monster trucks, and we round off with Scummy Mummy Confessions.

Keep listening right to the end for an exciting announcement about our stage show. Thanks for listening!

We'd love to hear from you - do get in touch via Twitter, Facebook, scummymummies.com or email scummymummiespodcast@gmail.com.

The card featured in our blog pic is available from Etsy.

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Episode 21: Oh, Viennetta! Business Special with Claudi & Fin May 20, 2014

Show notes

The guests on this episode are the ladies behind fab new kids' lolly range Claudi & Fin. Lucy Woodhouse and Meriel Durand discuss the challenges of starting a business while raising small children. Listen in to find out how they juggle meeting the head of Sainsbury's with picking poo off the stairs.

Ellie pitches her own brilliant business idea, while Helen insists we play another musical game. And one of our most popular items gets a spin-off in the form of the hugely exciting and disgusting Freezer Surprise. The cold never bothered us anyway.

Claudi & Fin lollies are made from Greek-style yoghurt and fruit, with added vitamin D. They contain nothing artificial yet they taste very nice. Find out more via ClaudiAndFin.co.uk.

There is still one more chance to see the Scummy Mummies LIVE at the Brighton Fringe! We're performing on bank holiday Monday 26 May at 1pm, at Upstairs at Three and Ten. Tickets are available via the Brighton Fringe website.

Thank you for listening!

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Episode 20: The Perfect Blend: The IVF Special with Peter Mattessi May 06, 2014

Show notes

On this episode we're joined by Peter Mattessi, scriptwriter for Neighbours and Eastenders. He tells us what goes on behind the scenes, reveals the storyline they won't let him write and explains how soaps have been forced to adapt to viewers' changing attitudes towards bums.

Peter also chats about his 15 month-old son, Artie, and his experiences of going through IVF. There's a lot of talk about cubicles and specialist magazines, basically.

Helen introduces her brand new game - Awight Guvnor, Put Another Shrimp on the Barbie. Yes, it's just another excuse for her to attempt some funny foreign accents. And we finish up with some spectacular Scummy Mummy Confessions.

Thanks for listening! And if you'd like to see the Scummy Mummies live, there are still some tickets left for our Brighton Fringe show. It's at Upstairs at Three and Ten on Sat 10, Sun 11 and Bank Hol Mon 26 May, at 1pm. Tickets are £8.50 / £7 from the Brighton Fringe website.

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Episode 19: Madonna or Mandela? Discipline Special with Nurse Jessie Apr 22, 2014

Show notes

There's some Serious Chat in this episode, as podcast favourite Nurse Jessie returns to talk about the tricky topic of discipline. Does smacking work? Is a bribe better than a threat? Plus Jessie reveals her top tip for swift potty training. (Spoiler: it's not something they teach at nurse school.)

We have two stupid new games - Revenge is Sweets, where Ellie gets to punish Jessie for perceived childhood misdemeanours, and Madonna or Mandela?, where Ellie gets to punish Jessie for not being good at a ridiculous quiz.

To round everything off we have a Scummy Confessions SPECIAL. We read out some of the best (i.e. most revolting) revelations from audience members at our recent London stage show.

If you'd like to come and see us at the Brighton Fringe, we're performing at Upstairs at Three and Ten. The show is on Sat 10, Sun 11 and bank holiday Mon 26 May, all at 1pm. Tickets are £8.50 / £7 from the Brighton Fringe website.

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Episode 18: Scum Dine With Me! Nutrition Special with Jo Travers Apr 08, 2014

Show notes

Nutritionist and dietitian Jo Travers is our guest on this episode. She covers everything from weaning and getting toddlers to eat vegetables to grown-up subjects, such as: how much wine is too much wine? (Spoiler: less than the amount that was consumed during the recording of this podcast.)

We find out why Sainsbury's fish fingers are better than Jamie's, and whether sugar really is going to be the death of us all. Plus we play a brand new game, Did They Really Eat That? (Maybe don't listen to that bit while you're having your tea.) And to round it all off, we have some special food-themed Scummy Mummy Confessions. (As above.)

You can find out more about Jo and her work via her website, The London Nutritionist.

The Scummy Mummies live show is coming to the Brighton Fringe! We'll be performing on Sat 10, Sun 11 and Bank Hol Mon 26 May at 1pm, at Upstairs at the Three and Ten. Tickets are £8.50 / £7 concessions and are available now from the Brighton Fringe website.

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Episode 17: Miley or Kylie? Feminism Special with Abigail Burdess Mar 24, 2014

Show notes

Comedian, mum and Katy Perry impersonator extraordinaire Abigail Burdess is our guest on this episode. She discusses the challenges of balancing parenthood with being hilarious and writing a hit musical.

There's a bit of chat about feminism and that. Then Helen introduces her fabulous new game, Miley or Kylie? (Yes, it involves a recorder.) And we debut our brand new Handbag Surprise spin-off, How Gross is Your Car? (Is your car, how gross is your car, I really need to know, etc.)

To round it all off, we have some fantastic Scummy Mummy Confessions, including a great one from Abigail. You'll never be able to look Smurfette in the face again.

Tickets are nearly sold out for our London show on Thursday 27 March, but there are still a few left. We also have tickets for the Wednesday 2 April left. Please visit We Got Tickets for more details.

To find out more about our lovely guest, visit abigailburdess.co.uk. The brilliant baby sketch we mention is on YouTube, and the Katy Perry impression is best enjoyed via Vimeo.

Thanks for listening!

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Episode 16: Welsh Rare Bits. Writing Special with Laura Kemp Mar 11, 2014

Show notes

Novelist Laura Kemp is our guest on this episode, which was recorded on location in lovely Cardiff. She talks discusses her popular books, Mums Like Us and Mums on Strike, and reveals how she balances writing, motherhood and a serious Lego habit.

We all play Helen's new game, Things That Make You Go Urgh. And Ellie explains why she's not sure honesty is always the best policy. Plus there is a special cameo appearance by Ollie the dog. We round off with Scummy Mummy Confessions and announce the winners of our competition.

Allison Pearson described Laura's first novel as "fantastically funny - debunks the myths of yummy mummydom and is a sanity saver." Her books are now available on Amazon, with the Kindle version of Mums on Strike currently priced at £3.99.

Follow Laura on Twitter - @laurajanekemp - or Facebook.

Please do keep emailing your Scummy Confessions to scummymummiespodcast@gmail.com. We're also on Twitter - @scummymummies - and Facebook too.

And finally, if you want to see the Scummy Mummies LIVE, why not come to our stage show? We're performing in London on 27 March and 2 April - tickets available from We Got Tickets. We'll also be at the Brighton Fringe on 10, 11 and 26 May - visit the Fringe website for more details.

Thanks for listening!

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Episode 15: Autism Special with John Williams Feb 24, 2014

Show notes

In this episode we talk to John Williams, author of the brilliant blog My Son's Not Rainman. He discusses what it's like to be the parent of a child with autism, plus serious issues like the number of cucumbers you can get for a pound down Lewisham market.

Ellie and John educate Helen about those classic British cultural touchstones, Going for Gold and Fray Bentos pies. Helen reveals her secret recipe for carbonara (spoiler: stock up on Kraft cheese slices). There's some chat about the joys of living in South East London and we round off, as always, with some Scummy Mummy Confessions.

Do check out John's blog, and you can sponsor him in the London Marathon via his Just Giving page.

And if you fancy seeing the Scummy Mummies LIVE, tickets are now on sale for our London show on 27 March and 2...

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