The Resilient Caregiver Podcast

How A Children's Book Author Is Turning Tragedy Into Hope Feb 16, 2024

With all of the negative, and often untrue, headlines that surround foster care and adoption, it's refreshing to read a story that uplifts and brings hope.

That's exactly what this week's podcast guest is on a mission to do. Dagmara Sitek is a children's book author, who is turning tragedy into hope and bringing encouragement and empowerment to children in foster care, and their caregivers, all over the world.

A Little More About Dagmara...

Dagmara Sitek is a Canada-based mother of two, who is committed to children’s education and emotional well-being. Originally from Poland, she is married to a Taiwanese-Canadian. She wrote the Courage Tales series about foster care heroes because she realized something important – not all kids get a fair shot at life.  

“Loris Opens Up His Heart” was inspired by the tragic story of 8-year-old Kamilek from Czestochowa, who died due to mistreatment by his stepfather. Dagmara's goal is to empower children through literature: Explore the transformative power of books in shaping young minds. 'Loris Opens Up His Heart' provides a medium through which adoptive or foster parents can empower their children, fostering a sense of self, understanding, and compassion.

How To Connect With Dagmara...

Thanks for stopping by this week ;-)

Transforming Your Mental Health In 2024 Jan 20, 2024

If you're anything like us, last year was a really difficult year. We stepped out of it, into 2024, feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, and fearful that the New Year would turn out just like the old year. The biggest aspect of this journey to take a hit was our mental health.

Anyone out there with us on that one?

But, it doesn't have to be this way. There are practical steps we can take as caregivers, to drastically improve, even transform, our mental health. It begins by creating a Mental Health Decree.

This past week, we hosted a 3-part workshop entitled, Overcoming Isolation & Burnout in 2024 and it was simply amazing. More than 500 caregivers from all over the world signed up and went through it. Session 2 was all about Transforming Our Mental Health in the New Year. Not only did we give practical advice, we also shared a valuable Action Sheet to help you take action and decree your value and boundaries. Game-changer!

It was such a powerful session (in fact, possibly our best live session ever!) that we decided to drop a snippet into this week's podcast. Check it out.

The great news is that you can also still register for the workshop and catch all of the replays. Details below (along with the Action Sheet Download).

And, we've also opened up public enrollment for Resilient Caregiver University (also, below).

Thanks for stopping by this week ;-)

Changing The Narrative & Process For Children Entering Foster Care Jan 05, 2024

Happy New Year! We're kicking off the 31st season of The Resilient Caregiver Podcast and this is episode 299. We are absolutely BLOWN away that we have produced 31 seasons of this show since October, 2015! Thank you for being part of this amazing journey.

We're kicking off the brand new season with an amazing interview with our good friend Rob Scheer from Comfort Cases and author of A Forever Family: Fostering Change One Child At A Time.

A Little More About Rob...

Rob entered the foster care system as a child who had lost both parents. He was brought into a house with all of his belongings in a tattered and torn trash bag. As Rob and his husband Reece went through the adoption process for each their 5 children, who are now their daughter and 4 sons, they arrived on their doorstep through foster care experiencing the same undignified process Rob endured forty years ago.

Floored by the fact that children still carry their lives in a bag used for trash nearly four decades since his own experience, Rob decided to devote his life to restoring dignity to those transitioning in and out of foster care with the creation of Comfort Cases.

His personal dedication and success through Comfort Cases has provided hope and self worth to thousands of children as he and his team empower the next generations transitioning within foster care.

How To Connect With Rob...

Also On The Show...

Grab your spot now for the Overcoming Isolation & Burnout in 2024 workshop coming January 15, 16, & 18th exclusively online! During this free 3-part live event we'll be diving deep into your purpose, person and plan as a caregiver. Plus, we'll be sharing the proven path to building and maintaining resiliency all year long! Registration is open! Click Here.

Thanks for stopping by this week ;-)

Looking Back: The Big Things We Learned In 2023 Dec 28, 2023

2023 was a combination of fulfilling, overwhelming, sometimes defeating, but most importantly, a year of growing for us. We learned so many important things this past year.

As we bring this year to a close, we take a moment to look back and discuss the important things we learned as caregivers.

These include...

The value of time and space
Focusing on the need before the behavior
Setting healthy boundaries with our adult children
Making the most of the time we have with the people who are with us
and sooo much more!

Pull up a chair and join the conversation!

Also on the show...

The Safety Planning Essentials Mini-Course is available until 11:59pm PST on December 31st. The course includes lessons on building and maintaining safety plans, navigating investigations, and managing crisis. Click Here to enroll!

Thanks for stopping by this week ;-)

Establishing Boundaries Around The Holidays Dec 21, 2023

Once we've aligned our expectations, and leveled them to a manageable place, we need to establish boundaries with our children. This is not an easy task, especially if you're parenting children who become triggered easily. And sometimes the boundaries will be very hard to explain.

How do you do this?

In this episode of The Resilient Caregiver Podcast we dive into a conversation around boundaries, what they may need to be, how to set them and, most importantly, how to maintain them.

Also On The Show....

Thanks for stopping by this week ;-)

Setting Expectations Around The Holidays Dec 15, 2023

In the words of Ellen Griswold (from Christmas Vacation), "I know how you build things up in your mind, Sparky. You set standards that no family event can live up to."

That might not fully be the case for you, but we often do struggle with our expectations. Especially when it involves the Holidays and situations that can go south quickly with meltdowns, triggered behaviors, overstimulation, and more.

How do we navigate through this? More importantly, how do we set expectations that don't set us, or our families, up for failure?

That's what we're diving into in this week's episode of The Resilient Caregiver Podcast.

Also On The Show...

Thanks for stopping by this week ;-)

A Hope-Filled And Transformational Conversation About Hair Care Nov 30, 2023

For caregivers of a multi-racial families, hair care can be stressful and overwhelming. How do you provide the best care for your daughter or know what products to use?

If you've had these questions, or felt overwhelmed and defeated by this topic, we have good news. Tony Award Nominated Acress Shalita Grant from the shows NCIS: New Orleans and You most recently, joins our show to discuss her new brand, Four Naturals Hair and provides a TON of hope and insight for caregivers just like you!

About Shalita...

Shalita Grant was raised in Petersburg, Virginia and attended high school at the Baltimore School for the Arts in Maryland where she was a YoungArts Winner in Theater and Presidential Scholar in the Arts. At 17, she received a scholarship to attend the Julliard School for her B.F.A. in Drama, graduating in 2010. She starred as Cassandra in "Vanya and Sonia and Masha and Spike" on Broadway, for which she earned a Tony Award nomination for Featured Actress in a Play and won the 2013 Theatre World Award for Outstanding Broadway Debut.

Her TV credits Include, NCIS: New Orleans, Santa Clarita Diet, Search Party and You.

In Shalita's words...

My journey with Four Naturals started with a ponytail. As an actress with Type 4 hair, the tightest texture on the hair chart, I faced unique challenges while on NCIS New Orleans. My ever-changing ponytail concealed the damage I was chasing. I experienced traction alopecia in my second season and significant hair loss along my hairline in the third season, leading me to leave my job by the fourth season. I experienced a hard truth: No matter how much money you have or who you have access to, if you have type 4 hair, your options are limited to wigs and extensions, getting locs, or just cutting it all off. After quitting, I recognized my hair as my number one acting career problem and set out to solve it.

In 2019, I began reading journals and articles from the world of Cosmetic Chemistry - absorbing everything there was to know about the three parts of the hair strand, hair porosity, cationic and anionic charge, and more. After reading, I understood that everything I was taught to do to care for my fragile, fickle type 4 hair was pure ritual! No wonder I could never solve my chronic issues with dryness and breakage.

I then researched the hair practices and ingredients used by the people of India, Eritrea, Ethiopia, and Greece and created the patent-pending Four Naturals Treatment. I combined hair science and plant medicine and solved my lifelong issues with dryness, breakage, lack of curl definition, lack of established hair routine, and heat damage.

The first treatment, I couldn’t quite believe my results - my hair felt softer, the color was richer, and it appeared thicker, and my hair felt heavier! However, by my third treatment, my hair was undeniably different. I had the best hair of my life! It was so easy to maintain, unbelievably soft and strong, and I could flat iron it without the heat damage requiring a Big Chop. So, I created Four Naturals Hair, and my mission is to make the lives of people with Type 4 hair better, easier, and more consistent. Best of all, because my treatment addresses the hair health concerns of people whose needs have been ignored for generations, it solves everyone else’s health concerns. I see the Four Naturals Treatment as the beginning of a hair revolution.

How To Connect With Shalita...

Thanks for stopping by this week ;-)

Celebrating & Honoring Diversity In Foster Care and Adoption Nov 16, 2023

Diversity is a central aspect of the foster and adoption journey. But often, it's overlooked or taken for granted. That's precisely why we have crucial guests like our good friend Maria Hansen-Quine.

She's a wealth of knowledge and expertise, particularly when it comes to the celebration of diversity in foster care and adoption.

A Little More About Maria...

Maria passionately believes in the value of children. So much so that she has devoted the past 22 years to working with children, currently working as a school counselor in a beautiful inner city community. Maria has worked in three different states, six different schools, two group homes, an outpatient therapy children's programs, a homeless shelters, and has provided court mandated therapeutic in home support to families. Maria’s passion for kids was birthed during college, when she spent two summers running day camps in Camden New Jersey.

Maria’s early beginning stories begun in a little country called the Faroe Islands. Here Maria spent the first eleven years of her life, immigrating to Canada as a non-English speaker. Later as an adult, Maria immigrated to the United States.

Maria calls herself a precious jewels mamma, as she believes children are sacred gifts from God. Maria and her husband Sam have ten beautiful and diverse precious jewels, seven through adoption, two born biologically, and one bonus adult daughter (and son in law). Sam is an adult adoptee.

Also On The Show...

Our new booking page is live! If you are an event coordinator or leader and looking for your next keynote or breakout speaker, send us a request. Our 2024 calendar is filling up fast. Click Here!

Thanks for stopping by this week ;-)

How To Help Your Child With Sensory Needs Nov 03, 2023

We're excited to welcome Marna Pacheco from CapeAble Weighted Products to The Resilient Caregiver Podcast to discuss how weighted products (blankets, vests, wraps, etc) can help your children who have sensory needs.

Through their patented Smart Weight Technology, CapeAble Weighted Products is changing the game in the weighted products field. And good news...the products she shares are NOT just for children. Adults can benefit too! (Just ask Kristin...😉).

Check out the CapeAble Weighted Product store here.

Also on the show...

Don't miss The 5-Day Resiliency Challenge AND The 7-Day Consistency Challenge happening NOW. You can catch the replays of The 5-Day Challenge and go through the Consistency Challenge through November 11th. Click Here to gain access!

Thanks for stopping by this week ;-)

How To Make Sense Of Your Child's Defense System Oct 28, 2023

It leaves us baffled. We're having a good day, doing something they wanted to do, and suddenly they reject us, respond negatively, or become defensive. We could simply ask our child a question and the claws come out. It leaves us confused, defeated, and bewildered.

And we often don't see it coming. How do we make sense of the metldowns, outbursts, and push-backs?

In this episode we discuss our child's defense system, what causes them, and how to make sense of what we're seeing.

Also On The Show....

Don't Miss The 5-Day Resiliency Challenge, happening right now. You haven't missed anything though. You can catch all of the replays. During The Challenge, we are sharing practical steps to building and maintaining resiliency as a caregiver. It's free to join. Click Here to register.

Thanks for stopping by this week ;-)

How To Help Your Children Through The Holiday Season Oct 14, 2023

You may be thinking, "Wait, they're talking about the holidays already?" That's right!

We're entering the season known as the holiday vortex- From Halloween through New Years it's a season of overstimulation, grief-magnified, and loss-intensified for our children.

How in the world can we nagivate this season and live to tell about it? If you're a caregiver who's wondering this, we have good news. Deborah Gray joins the podcast for an amazing throwback episode all about helping our children through the holiday season (Halloween through New Years!).

A little more about Deborah...

Referred to as the “attachment guru” by Adoptive Families Magazine, Deborah Gray specializes in attachment, grief, and trauma issues of children in her practice, Nurturing Attachments.

As a clinical social worker, Deborah has the honor of helping families develop close, satisfying relationships after children’s earlier losses, traumas, and/or prenatal exposure to drugs and alcohol. In addition to her therapy practice, Deborah is the creator of the post-graduate certificate program, Attachment & Trauma Focused Therapy (ATFT). She holds an MPA in Public Administration (Health Care), from the Maxwell School/Syracuse University.

Deborah is the author of Promoting Healthy Attachments; Attaching through Love, Hugs, and Play; Nurturing Adoptions; and Attaching in Adoption. She co-authored, with Megan Clarke, Games and Activities for Attaching with Your Child. In 2015 Deborah was awarded a Lifetime Achievement Award from the International Association for Training on Attachment and Trauma in Children.

Also on the show...

Get our FREE Holiday Survival Guide.... a collection of interviews with trauma-trained therapists that will give you valuable insights into navigating the holidays! Click Here to get access.
BIG annoucement coming this Monday, October 16th. But you need to be on our email list to get the firsthand info. Click Here to visit our homepage and get on the list!

Thanks for stopping by this week ;-)

How To Adjust Your Expectations And Set You & Your Child Up For Success Oct 04, 2023

Most caregivers step into the parenting journey with dreams, ideals, and a certain vision of how parenting is going to unfold. We have dreams of what our children will be like when they grow older. We envision positive, warm relationships, that are worthy of a Hallmark Movie. Sounds ridiculous, right? But that's what we do. That can set us and our children up for failure.

In this episode we discuss re-adjusting your expectations to help you and your children achieve success.

In this episode we talk about...

Re-adjusting your expectations.
Trauma doesn't play by the rules. What happened yesterday is not what will happen today!
No longer trying to achieve perfection (newsflash- it's NOT possible!)
Feeling successful when we accomplish 1 or 2 things that are important
Lowering expectations so not to set our children up for failure
How we can re-adjust expectations successfully

Also on the show....

We are getting REAL close to launching Resilient Caregiver University! Click Here to learn more and send us some important feedback!

Thanks for stopping by this week ;-)

Building Resiliency When You're Parenting Beyond Childhood Sep 27, 2023

For a lot of caregivers, hands-on parenting won't end when their child graduates from high school. We'll be involved in some what, shape, or form with our children as they move into adulthood. But that doesn't mean that our lives, or their lives, will be restricted. Quite the opposite. Resiliency as you continue to parent into adulthood IS possible.

In this episode, we welcome Sue Badeau, who knows a thing or two about building resiliency long Into parenting adult children. She and her husband Hector are currently involved in several of their adult children's lives.

A Little More About Sue...

Whether delivering a training herself, or developing a curriculum for others, Sue has one goal in mind: providing memorable, effective, educational workshops that inspire and motivate action. After participating in Sue's training sessions, attendees report understanding new ways to apply complex information. "I see myself as a translator," Sue explains, "Presenting challenging material in ways that professionals, parents and caregivers can implement in their daily lives and practice."

How To Connect With Sue...

Thanks for stopping by this week ;-)

How Dads Can Build Resiliency On The Caregiver Journey Sep 20, 2023

Being a dad on the foster and adoptive caregiver journey is no easy task. Resiliency, let alone our sanity, seems like climbing Mt. Everest without oxygen. But, it doesn't need to be this way. There is hope. In this episode Mike has an open conversation with two dads about how to build resiliency!

We talk about vulnerability, the importance of community and connection, a little bit about what happens at Road Trip (our unique experience in the mountains of Colorado for foster and adoptive dads) and so much more.

Also On The Show...

Road Trip! We have 6 spots left. Dads, if you need a getaway, join us in LESS THAN 2 WEEKS for Road Trip 2023. Click Here.
Hope Conference 2023. Join us this fall in Des Moines, Iowa for a powerful, refreshing, and hope-filled weekend for foster and adoptive parents. Click Here to learn more.
Resilient Caregiver Resource Page
Resilient Caregiver Podcast
Resilient Caregiver Homepage

Thanks for stopping by this week ;-)

How Asking One Question When Behaviors Escalate Can Change Everything! Sep 13, 2023

In the heat of the moment, when your child is melting down, you're on display, or you're just overwhelmed and exhausted, the question that is likely running through your head is "What's wrong with this child?"

But, it's the wrong question to ask. It's okay if you've asked this before. We all have. Don't beat yourself up. It happens to all of us. You're not alone.

In this episode we discuss this and what the RIGHT question actually is. And the right question has the power to change EVERYTHING- your response, your attachment to your child, the level of trust you have with them, and even your resiliency as a caregiver!

Also on the show...

Visit the NEW Resilient Caregiver website here.
Road Trip 2023 is almost here and we have a few spots left. If you're a dad in need of a getaway to the mountains, don't miss this amazing and transformational event. Click Here.
Join us for Hope 2023 this November! Hope Conference takes place just outside of Des Moine, Iowa and is a can't miss event for foster and adoptive parents. We will be there leading 3 different breakout sessions on understanding and leveraging your influence with your children, effectively responding to behaviors, and building healthy attachments with your children. Click Here to grab your spot.

Thanks for stopping by this week ;-)

Introducing: The Resilient Caregiver Podcast! Sep 07, 2023

Welcome to The Resilient Caregiver Podcast. We are sooooo excited to unveil the new name, new approach, new conversations, and (each week) new insights.

This week, the two of us are talking through the heartbeat behind The Resilient Caregiver (our parentn company's name) and some insights into how to achieve resiliency.

In this episode, we discuss....

Understanding, and how gaining a new perspective on your child can change everything!
Education, and why we can never ever ever stop growing as caregivers.
Support, and why this is the glue that holds it all together.

Also on the show....

The NEW Resilient Caregiver website!

Thanks for stopping by this week ;-)

Our BIG Announcement: The Resilient Caregiver Is Coming Soon! Aug 26, 2023

We've blown the lid clean off on a BIG secret we've been keeping for the past 8 months!

On August 30th, our brand new initiative (and name), The Resilient Caregiver, will go live to the world. We're making this change for one big reason: We are passionate about and intensely focused on helping you, amazing caregiver, build resiliency through a deeper understanding of your child, in-depth and relevant education, and an insanely dedicated and understanding support community that helps you thrive!

We're diving into all the amazing details of the new site in this final episode of The Honestly Adoption Podcast (don't worry, only the name is changing!)...

On The Show...

Thanks for stopping by this week!

You Are Loved, You Are Good, And Your Story Isn't Over Aug 19, 2023

In this episode, Mike shares some encouragement for foster and adoptive caregivers. Along with that, he also shares an exciting annoucement that you won't want to miss.

Here are important links mentioned in this episode...

Honestly Adoption's website (to get on our email list to you're in the loop on the BIG announcement)
Lady GaGa's song Hold My Hand

Thanks for stopping by this week :-)

How Dads Can Find Connection & Camaraderie Aug 13, 2023

In 2016, sensing an urgency to create safe space where foster and adoptive dads could connect with one another, Mike Berry, Andrew Schneidler and Jason Morriss, created Road Trip: A Mountaintop Experience for Foster and Adoptive Dads. They had one goal: create safe space where men could be open, honest, and vulnerable in without fear of judgement or criticism. To date, more than 600 men have journeyed up the mountain. In this latest episode, they share openly what Road Trip is, why it’s so transformational in men’s lives, and how dads can find connection and camaraderie.

A Little More About Road Trip...

Let's begin with what Road Trip is NOT. It's NOT a retreat, NOT a conference, and NOT a church men's retreat. It's a conversation.

Weird, right? What does that even mean? At Road Trip we're all about invitation. Simply put...you attend a retreat, but you're invited into a conversation. And the best part? You can choose to participate, or just listen. In any case, Road Trip is safe space for foster and adoptive dads to share their greatest fears and greatest struggles, without judgement.

In the midst of this conversation, you also get a chance to getaway and participate in fly fishing, hiking, exploring, napping (if you need it), micro-brewery trips, horseback riding, and much much more!

Heads up, we only have a few more spots left for 2023...

Click Here To Learn More

Thanks for stopping by this week ;-)

How To Navigate Grief On The Caregiver Journey Aug 04, 2023

One of the strongest emotions we'll experience on this journey is grief. How do you work through this so you better help your child?

It's not easy. In fact, grief itself, is a journey. We experience this because this journey is hard, and we have lost a lot. So have our children. And helping them heal is a priority. But in order to better help our children heal and process their own grief, we must learn to process ours and arrive to a place of healing.

Fortunately, we have amazing partners and leaders like Jessica Sinarski, LPCMH.

A Little More About Jessica...

Jessica's superpower is making brain science accessible and entertaining for children and adults alike. Extensive post-graduate training and 15+ years as a therapist, consultant, and educator led her to create the resource and training platform—BraveBrains. In addition to speaking engagements all over the country, Jessica partners with schools, child welfare agencies, and other organizations to help adults become healers for hurting children. She is also the mom of 3 busy boys.

How To Connect With Jessica...

Thanks for stopping by this week ;-)

How To Provide Good Care For Your Child's Hair Jul 29, 2023

As caregivers, we crave good resources. But they can be so hard to find. Fortunately, there are amazing human beings who help us succeed by sharing their amazing and powerful gifts with us.

In this episode, we spent some time with the amazing, and the the lovely Terria Roushun from the Hair Essentials Company. You will love this conversation as the crew discusses how to provide the best care possible for your child's hair.

A Little More About Terria...

Terria Roushun is the CEO and Director of The Hair Essentials Company. Terria has established herself as a veteran in the hair and makeup industry with over 25 years of experience as a licensed cosmetologist, freelance beauty artist and textured hair expert.

Terria has a keen eye for trend looks and her hand perfecting skill has afforded her the opportunity to work with several prestige brands and agencies in New York, Los Angeles, and in the Chicagoland area. More recently she began to help the transracial adoptive and foster community overcome the anxiety of dealing with highly textured hair. Hair Essentials Company is designed specifically with that community in mind.

From a young age it was instilled in Terria to use her gifts to serve others. Throughout her formative years she always kept that notion in the back of her mind, what are my gifts and how can they help others? Today, Terria is celebrated for spreading positivity, empowering families and turning trend looks into everyday fashions.

Now Terria is expanding from one-on-one sessions to sharing her signature methods to help as many transracial adoptive and foster families gain confidence, skills, knowledge and support for their child’s textured hair.

How To Connect With Terria...

Also On The Show...

Dads! Join us in the mountains of Colorado THIS October for Road Trip! Learn More

Thanks for stopping by this week ;-)

How To Advocate For Foster Care Reform Jul 22, 2023

Gaelin Elmore found himself in 25 different foster homes, over 13 years as a youngster. Fortunately for him, a kind and caring football coach brought him into his home while he finished high school. Through that turn of events, he received the resources he needed to thrive as he transitioned into adulthood. But so many children do not have the same fortune as Gaelin did. Now, in his adult life, he's on a mission to speak truth into the foster care system, and enact change that will ultimately transform the lives of thousands of vulnerable foster youth.

A little more about Gaelin...

Gaelin Elmore spent 13 years in foster care without being adopted. He stayed in over 25 different homes, before living with his high school football coach to finish high school. While in care, Gaelin was abused, and his mom was manipulated to give up parental rights. Now he speaks and uses his story and experiences to educate people on ways to better serve foster youth, and care for disadvantaged communities.

After high school, Gaelin played college football for the University of Minnesota and East Carolina University. He also played professional football for the Cincinnati Bengals. He is married and has a daughter.

How to connect with Gaelin...

Thanks for stopping by this week ;-)

Refreshment, Hope & Insight To Help Caregivers Thrive! Jul 07, 2023

Where can caregivers go to find connection, camaraderie, inspiration and hope? We're glad you asked!

Registration is open for one of our favorite in-person conference for caregivers, The Replanted Conference. It's happening October 12-14, 2023 in Naperville, Illinois and it's a must-attend event.

We only endorse and recommend a handful of conferences each year and Replanted is one of them. This episode is a recording we did live during the 2022 Replanted Conference.

Replanted Conference 2023 is open for registration...

Register now for Replanted 2023. This year the conference features speakers Dr. Ira Chasnoff, Jason Johnson, Cindy Lee, and more. Click Here to learn more!

Thanks for stopping by this week!

Helping Your Child Wrestle Through Feelings Of Abandonment Jun 30, 2023

The adoption and foster journey can be difficult for our children. Feelings of loss, grief and abandonment can move in and take up residence in their hearts and minds. Fortunately, there are voices of hope clearing the way for understanding and transformation.

Don Brushaber is one of those voices. As an adult adoptee he had lived a lot of life before feelings of abandonment began to stir in him. Just a few short years ago he found himself in the middle of a nervous breakdown. But from that, he was able to come to terms with the loss and abandonment he felt at a young age. He reconnected with his birth parents and began a journey of transformation and healing.

His story will inspire you but, most importantly, give you insights into helping your own children navigate similar feelings as he had to navigate.

If you would like to ask Don a question, send us an email to hello@honestlyadoption.com.

Thanks for stopping by this week :-)

Discovery: Behavior Is A Voice That Tells Us More About Our Children Jun 23, 2023

Behaviors can be so hard to handle. Especially when you are overwhelmed and tired. But behaviors are telling us an important story that can help us reframe our entire approach to our children.

Where do we begin?

The first step is to understand trauma's impact. The second is to learn how trauma's impact dictates present behavior.

In this episode we're sharing the audio from our free workshop this week, The Trauma Knowledge Transformation (which you can still sign up for and catch the replays).

Click Here to sign up for The Trauma Knowledge Transformation workshop.

Also, our online course and coaching program, Trauma Knowledge Masterclass is open for public enrollment. Learn how you can get access to 8 weeks of group or personal 1:1 coaching with Mike and Kristin. Click Here!

Thanks for stopping by this week ;-)

How To Develop Compassion For Your Child Jun 16, 2023

Sometimes it's hard to see past the behaviors and into the heart of what's really going on with your child. But once you discover this powerful parenting tool, your journey transforms!

We get it. Trust us on this one. In our 20+ years of parenting, and parenting children with a trauma history, and special needs, the struggle has been real. We did a lot of things wrong in our parenting in the early days. One of those 'things' was often viewing behavior as simply 'bad behavior' from a child who just wanted to be bad, and not as a voice trying to tell us something deeper.

When we discovered that behavior was actually a windown into a much bigger story of what had happened to our children, and what was happening with our children, our perspective changed. We now how the parenting tools to frame their behavior in the correct context. And that, in turn, helped us replace contempt with compassion.

In this episode, we dive into that transformation and share a big update on an upcoming live event we are hosting that will help you gain the same tools that changed everything for us. Keep reading.

Join The Trauma Knowledge Transformation Workshop, LIVE this coming week! Beginning Monday, June 19th we are kicking off our FREE 3-Part Live workshop that will help you gain a new perspective on your child's trauma, behaviors, and needs. We're calling this the transformation because, well, that's precisely what happens for you when you learn these valuable tools. It's free to join but space is filling up fast. Click Here to save your spot!

Thanks for stopping by this week ;-)

How To Respond To A Child Who Won't Take No For An Answer" Jun 09, 2023

Saying no, not right now, setting boundaries, or emphasizing consequences are all part of the parenting journey. Even the foster and adoptive parenting journey. But there's one aspect of this that often stands at the forefront.

It's a big question we receive all the time. "I say no to my child, set a boundary, and then the meltdown begins. What can I do?"

It's tricky. No doubt about that. But there are ways to navigate this. In this episode we share Insights and strategies to help you effectively respond to your child when you set a boundary and they become triggered.

Also On The Show....

Thrive Coaching has a few open spots! If you are looking for one-to-one attention and support from us, sign up for one of our few remaining spots to our 90-Day coaching program. Click Here.

Thanks for stopping by this week ;-)

How To Respond To Crisis In Your Home May 26, 2023

At any given moment on the foster and adoption caregiver journey, we can find ourselves in crisis. How you respond, and the plan you put in place, can change everything!

We in no way want to freak you out, but having a plan is crucial to successfully navigating these tricky waters.

In this episode we share a recent session we taught on responding to, managing, and navigating through crisis in your home.

Also On The Show...

Get our Behavior Response Blueprint here.
Download our Trauma Knowledge Guide + Video here

Thanks for stopping by this week ;-)

How To Set Healthy Boundaries With Your Children May 20, 2023

It's a tricky thing to deal with. Boundaries. Where's the balance between connected parenting and boundary setting? In this episode we have an open discussion around this.

As caregivers we can often feel taken advantage of, walked on, and just plain used. Our children don't necessarily mean to do this, but, as a product of their trauma history, that "taking" nature is a survival tactic.

How do you set up, and maintain, healthy boundaries with a child who may, or may not, understand them?

That's what we discuss in this episode!

Thanks for stopping by this week ;-)

Listening To Those Who Are Directly Impacted By Foster Care & Adoption May 12, 2023

Out of all the great resources we have at our disposal as caregivers, there are a few that stand out among the rest. We must learn to listen to them.

Our children. Adult adoptees. Former foster youth. And birth parents. Those who have experienced the journey first hand have a wealth of knowledge to share with us, to help us become the best caregivers possible.

The best thing we can do is open up our hearts, and minds, and ears, and listen deeply to their voices and hearts. In this episode, Kristin and Nicole explore what that looks like.

Also on the show...

Insight Virtual Conference 2023 replays are still available and will be until May 15th. Click here to get access to more than 15 hours of training PLUS in-depth valuable resources!

Thanks for stopping by this week :-)

Creating Positive Relationships With Birthparents Apr 28, 2023

There is so much unnecessary fears and misunderstandings surrounding birth parents and birth families. In this episode, we're working to clear it up.

Last week we were grateful and honored to have the amazing and wonderful Ashley Mitchell join us for Insight Virtual Conference 2023. The Q&A portion of her session was so moving and powerful that we knew we had to make it a stand-alone podcast episode.

In this episode, Mike and Ashley spend time clearing up unwarranted fears, the truth about extended family, how to set up boundaries with birth parents who aren't in a healthy place, and much more. It's fun, colorful, and insightful. You will love Ashley's heart!

A Little More About Ashley...

Ashley Mitchell, owner of Big Tough Girl and Founder + Executive Director of Lifetime Healing Foundation, set out to seek increased care, understanding, and resources for birth mothers. For over a decade, Ashley has been one of the most consistent and sought after birth mother voices in the nation. Well known for her vulnerability and transparency in adoption, her story has touched the hearts of countless members of the adoption community and beyond.

How To Connect With Ashley...

You can still get access to the Insight Virtual Conference 2023 replays and take home more than 15 hours of amazing and indepth training content! Click Here.

Thanks for stopping by this week ;-)

Understanding Your Child's Needs And Your Responsibility Apr 15, 2023

On the journey of healing and fostering healthy attachments, we must be tuned in to the needs our children have. But also our responsbility as caregivers. How do we pinpoint both?

We're fortunate to be connected to brilliant minds, and hearts, like our good friend Deborah Gray, who is a licensed clinical social worker, and known worldwide as the attachment guru.

In this episode we're sharing the replay of a session Deborah hosted during the 2021 Insight Virtual Conference (because the 2023 conference is coming THIS week!).

A Little More About Deborah...

Deborah has a lifetime achievement award in 2015 from ATTACh, and was a Henry Meier Practitioner in Residence at the U of WA. She treats children and families in a specialty practice focused on trauma, attachment, grief, and parenting support. She was core faculty for the Portland State University Foster Care and Adoption Therapy Program. She is the author of the Attachment-Trauma Focused Therapy Program, now in partnership with The Honestly Adoption Company and 1MillionHome, and presented through Honestly Adoption University. Deborah authored: Promoting Healthy Attachments; Attaching through Love, Hugs, and Play; Nurturing Adoptions; and Attaching in Adoption. She co-authored Games and Activities for Attaching with Your Child.

Also On The Show...

Insight Virtual Conference 2023 is coming THIS Thursday and Friday, April 20th and 21st. There's still time to grab your ticket and get more than 15 hours of amazing insight, education, and connection to other caregivers like you. Early Bird registration closes at 11:59pm PST this Wednesday, April 19th. At-the-door tickets will be available after that for a higher price. Lock in your early bird spot now. Click Here!

Thanks for stopping by this week ;-)

How To Successfully Communicate Your Child's Needs With Providers Apr 07, 2023

Is there any way to successfully communicate my child's needs to a medical professional that helps me get results? Big question!

Navigating our children's special needs on a daily basis is hard. But what makes the journey even harder is feeling unheard and unseen in a medical or therapeutic provider's office. We've all had that figurative (or maybe literal) door slammed in our face. We've felt dismissed, disregarded, and just plain stupid.

What if we told you there was an effective, and practical, way to successufully communicate your child's needs to providers that got results?

There is. That's why we're excited to welcome Maureen Peterson to The Honestly Adoption Podcast. She's a medical professional but also the parent of a child with chronic illness. She knows the ins and outs of communication from both the professional and parental side of things. And she's here today to share her expertise with us!

A Little More About Maureen...

In her own words... "As a general pediatrician and allergist/immunologist, I have spent my career caring for patients with a variety of acute and chronic health problems. I am a military veteran and mother of three amazing children. I have first-hand experience with being a parent of a child with long-term health issues. Through my own journey, I have learned that to enjoy the life that I was given even if it wasn't the life I had planned. I became a certified life coach to teach parents how to build self-confidence and decrease overwhelming emotions creating a calm, meaningful life."

How To Connect With Maureen...

Also On The Show...

Insight Virtual Conference is coming soon! We're less than 2 weeks away from this exciting conference kicking off featuring over 15 hours of training content, PLUS access to world-renowned thought leaders and trainers. Click Here to learn more!

Thanks for stopping by this week ;-)

How To Regain Compassion For Your Child Mar 31, 2023

The title of this podcast episode likely prompts a reaction from anyone reading it. After all, the hardships of this journey take quite the toll on us. How do you find the strength and insight to regain compassion for your child?

If you're asking these questions, you're not alone. In fact, this makes you normal. But there is hope. More importanly, there is a term for the loss of compassion: Blocked Care.

On this episode, we've invited our two good friends, Lisa Qualls and Melissa Corkum, our go-to experts on this complex topic, to share insights but also truths from their new book Reclaim Compassion: The Adoptive Parent's Guide to Overcoming Blocked Care With Neuroscience & Faith.

About Lisa and Melissa:

Lisa C. Qualls and Melissa Corkum serve thousands of adoptive parents by providing post-adoption support through their podcast, books, speaking, and coaching.

How To Connect With Lisa and Melissa:

Also On The Show:

Insight Virtual Conference is coming soon! Get free access to our latest round of Fast-Action Bonuses when you register by April 1st! Click Here to learn more!

Thanks for stopping by this week ;-)

How To Advocate For Your Child With An FASD Mar 24, 2023

The FASD journey can be very defeating and very frustrating. Mostly because, we are constantly dismissed by providers, or made to feel like we're a bit crazy when we try to get answers. How do you break through this?

We're glad you're here for this episode as we dive into the topic of advocacy, especially as it relates to parenting a child with a Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder (FASD).

We're joined by Laura Hernandez, from Mama Systems, who is an adoptive mama, but also the caregiver to children on the spectrum. She knows first hand what it looks like and feels like to be dismissed, but she also shares some valuable insight we can. take home as caregivers, when it comes to advocacy!

How To Connect With Laura:

Get her FREE resource (especially for being a listener of this show!). Click Here!
Connect with her on Facebook
Follow her on Instagram

Also On The Show...

Insight Virtual Conference is coming soon! Get free access to our latest round of Fast-Action Bonuses when you register by April 1st! Click Here to learn more!

Thanks for stopping by this week ;-)

Understanding What Resiliency Is Not Mar 17, 2023

The caregiver journey is hard and full of challenges. We hear words like resiliency and we often get the wrong idea. What does that really mean?

It's not what you think. Resiliency is not perfection, it's not about never failing, and on the days you don't feel like you're not resilient, it's not what defines you.

So then, what does it mean to be resilient?

In this latest episode of The Honestly Adoption Podcast, Mike explores what resiliency is and is NOT.

Also on the show...

Catch our ENCORE presentation of the FREE training, How To Effectively Respond To Behaviors coming THIS Tuesday, March 21st at 1pm EST. Click Here to learn more!
Insight Virtual Conference 2023 is coming soon and with it, BRAND NEW FAST-ACTION BONUSES when you grab your ticket by April 1st! Click Here to register now

Thanks for stopping by this week ;-)

Insight That Will Transform Your Parenting Journey Mar 03, 2023

From the memorable quotes, to the "ah-ha" moments, to the tears, to the on-camera dancing....the dancing....oh the dancing! Insight Virtual Conference 2022 was one for the history books.

And now...we get to do it all over again! That's right...Insight Virtual Conference 2023 is open for registration and coming April 20th and 21st.

In this special Honestly Adoption Podcast Episode, we are recapping the entire 2022 conference by sharing audio clips from just about everything that happened at the conference. The great news? It doesn't just have to stay in this podcast! Nope. You can get your ticket to the 2023 conference now and get access to our Fast-Action Bonuses...

Full access to our University training library ($4997 value)
A complimentary ticket to our brand new Insight After Party on night 1 of the conference

Plus, you'll receive...

More than 15 hours of training (or 15+ hours of Continuing Education Credit if you're a professional) from world-renowned speakers, authors and thought leaders in the foster and adoption space.
Access to our conference Virtual Lobby where we feature a ton of free resources and speaker info
The opportunity to learn from the brightest and best minds and speakers in the foster and adoptive community

Check out this special episode, and grab your Insight 2023 Ticket now! Click Here.

Thanks for stopping by this week ;-)

How To Overcome Feelings Of Guilt On The Caregiver Journey Feb 25, 2023

As caregivers, we often carry around immense feelings of guilt from something we said, or did. How do we face these feelings, let alone overcome them?

It's a question all of us have had at one time or another. And what's even more difficult is that we have to keep on parenting and caring for our children, while carrying this burden. It's not like we can retreat away and find healing.

In our latest episode, Mike shares some ideas and insights into this question from a place of honesty and vulnerablity.

Also On The Show...

INSIGHT VIRTUAL CONFERENCE 2023 registration Is opening THIS MONDAY, February 27th! And when we open everything up we have some amazing fast-action bonuses teed up for you. This year's conference is going to be transformational. Get on our email update list here and be the first to hear about our fast-action bonus bundles!

Thanks for stopping by this week ;-)

Understanding How The Body Keeps The Score Feb 19, 2023

While it may be hard to see and understand, our bodies are super computers that capture and hold data for years. This has never been more the case, then with our child's trauma history.

You've probably found yourself scratching your head a time or two, or simply throwing your hands up in confusion, when the child who has been in your home for years is melting down for no apparent reason. Or, perhaps you've been caught off guard by a season where your child, who seemed fine for a long time, suddenly begins to act out, or behave in extreme ways.

There's a simple explanation for this: the body keeps score of everything traumatic experience (acute or chronic) that a human being has gone through in their life. When you consider this reality as it relates to our children, who have experienced significant trauma, everything begins to make sense.

In this episode, Mike shares a simple understanding of this reality.

Also On The Show...

Insight Virtual Conference is coming April 20th & 21st to a computer, tablet, or smartphone near you. When we open up registration in just a little over a week, we're giving away some magnificent bonuses. The best place you can be to qualify for this is on our email update list! Click Here to add your name!

Thanks for stopping by this week ;-)

How To Effectively Respond To Your Child's Behaviors Feb 10, 2023

One of the most confusing and overwhelming aspects of the foster and adoption journey, is trying to make sense of behaviors that come from trauma. Where do you even begin?

Let's be honest...

Trying to make sense of our child's behavior, let alone manage it (or stop it), is like climbing Mt Everest!

Nearly impossible....or so it seems!

What if we told you there was a simple, effective way to understand and respond to your child's behaviors in a way that brings calm in the middle of chaos?

If you're nodding your head yes, we have good news!

In this episode we're sharing the first half of an online training Mike hosted entitled, How To Effectively Respond To Your Child's Behaviors: A 4-Part Blueprint To Bring Calm to The Chaos.

In this free training, he walks you through:

The #1 most important step to effective behavior response
A proven, 4-part response blueprint that is easy to apply
Done-for-you scripts you can use when your child is dysregulated
The mental shift caregivers can make that changes everything!

The training is free to join in and you can catch the full replay now until 11:59 pm PST on February 15th.

Click Here to access the entire training replay!

Thanks for stopping by this week ;-)

Why Does My Child Reject Me? Feb 03, 2023

Rejection hurts, no matter who you are, or the circumstances. It especially stings when it's coming from our children. Why does it happen, and how can we respond?

In this episode of The Honestly Adoption Podcast, we're sharing an insider's Live Q&A call that Mike did with Jenn Hook, therapist, and Executive Director of The Replanted Conference. This is content that's normally exclusive to Oasis Community, Honestly Adoption's members-only support and training site, but we're sharing this valuable conversation with our podcast audience!

On the call, Mike and Jenn answer questions from caregivers who attended live, as well as questions sent in ahead of time, around rejection, trauma, behaviors, attachment, and much more!

Also On The Show...

Insight Virtual Conference 2023 is coming soon! Make sure you are on the email update list, because when we open registration, our update listers will get special bonus access JUST for being on the list. Click Here to join!
Get 30-Days FREE Trial Access To Oasis Community! As part of this special episode, we're giving away 30 days free access to our exclusive members-only site. Click Here to learn more!

Thanks for stopping by this week ;-)

Readjusting Our Expectations Of Ourselves And Our Children Jan 21, 2023

This journey is long and can often be defeating. The fact is, parenting is hard. Sometimes, in the face of it all, we just need some solidarity.

We need to know that we are not alone, and we need to hear someone else tell us it's okay.

In this episode of The Honestly Adoption Podcast, we are taking a step back from talking through strategies, techniques, and steps, and just having a conversation about where we are at as caregivers, and what we can do when we feel like we're staring down a mountain.

On This Episode We Talk About...

Setting bite-sized goals (and not looking at the entire year, but just a few weeks :-))
Pulling back from a bigger picture and focusing instead on smaller pixels
Setting lower expecations (not a bad thing)
Taking a breath when we feel like our backs are against the wall

We Also Talked About...

Getting access to The Scoop, our brand new weekly update email with bite-sized, transformational content that will help you continue to become the best caregiver possible. Visit our main site here, sign up for our parenting lessons, and you'll automatically start receiving The Scoop!

Thanks for stopping by this week ;-)

Your Child's Behavior Is Not About You Jan 13, 2023

It's really, really, really hard to believe this when you're in the middle of it, but the behaviors you see in your children are not about you. They're a window into something much bigger.

In short, the behaviors you are seeing are a direct result of trauma, not you (even though it feels like it). Once you understand that, everything can change. But how do you gain the right perspective? How do you successfully tell yourself that this is not personal even when it feels really personal? That's what we're covering in this episode of the podcast.

Also On The Show...

Sign Up For The Scoop! The Scoop is our brand new weekly email update that gives you insider access and information on everything we're up to at Honestly Adoption BUT more importantly, valuable insights and tools to help you be the best caregiver possible. It's easy to join The Scoop. Click Here to sign up (When you do, we'll send you our Free Behavior Response Blueprint).

Thanks for joining us this week ;-)

How To Build Connection With A Child Who Consistently Rejects You Dec 30, 2022

We're concluding our special podcast series, The Insight Archives, with a question that many parents wrestle with: How do I build a connection with a child who consistently, and constantly, rejects me?

You pour more love, and time, and energy, and resources that you can begin to keep track of into this child. You are there at a moment's nontice when he or she needs you. Heck, you would swim the North Atlantic to get to them if you needed to. And yet, the rejection is real and it's constant. Nothing you say or do will ever be enough (let alone, good enough). How do you even begin to make sense of this?

In this episode, Kristin shares practical, yet in-depth, insights into how you can actually work to build a connection with a child who consistently pushes you away, rejects you, or pursues superficial relationships over you. We know how much this hurts, but we also know there's a much bigger picture playing out in these situations. Have hope, hang in there! You are not alone.

Also On The Show...

LAST CHANCE to Get BOTH Insight 2021 and 2022 Replay Libraries for $29.95 limited time access, or $59.95 lifetime access! During this special series, we are giving our listening audience the chance to take home both Insight Virtual Conference Replay Libraries for just $29.95 ($59.95 for Lifetime Access). Click Here to lock in your spot!

Thanks for stopping by this week ;-)

How Transracial Adoptive Families Can Thrive Dec 23, 2022

It's week 3 of our end-of-2022 podcast series, The Insight Archives, where we're sharing some of our favorite sessions from both the 2021 and 2022 Insight Virtual Conference replays. This week, our good friend Ligia Cushman joins us to talk about how transracial adoptive families can thrive.

Ligia's wisdom, insight, and gentle spirit will inspire you and move you. If you are a transracial family you will want to lean in because Ligia share stories that are powerful and moving.

A Little More About Ligia...

Ligia Noemi Cushman M.A. is the daughter of immigrants from the Dominican Republic, one of eight children, and the mother of one son through adoption. In her award-winning book, Heard: How Loss Led Us to Love, Ligia captures the night her son was born and the many hard experiences she and her family encountered as a multiracial family in the deep South.

Ligia graduated with her first master’s degree in 2004 with a concentration in Human Services. In 2016, Ligia obtained her second master's degree in professional counseling from Liberty University.

Also On The Show...

Get BOTH Insight 2021 and 2022 Replay Libraries now! During this special series, we are giving our listening audience the chance to take home both Insight Virtual Conference Replay Libraries for just $29.95 ($59.95 for Lifetime Access). Click Here to lock in your spot!

Thanks for stopping by this week ;-)

How To Navigate The Online World With Vulnerable Children Dec 16, 2022

It's week 2 of our end-of-the-year podcast series, The Insight Archives. We're sharing 4 amazing sessions from the 2021 & 2022 Insight Virtual Conference! In this episode, our good friend Chuck Hagele shares valuable insights into the online world and helping our children in the best way possible!

There are so many present-day dangers that present themselves for children with a trauma history. Namely, the internet. How do we even begin to protect and safeguard our children from the many pitfalls the online world has? Fortunately, Chuck shares his many years of wisdom and expertise with us. But the biggest thing we love about Chuck's approach is that it way bigger than just sharing the latest tech trends, or filters that parents can use. He targets the heart and helps caregivers understand how they can build connection with their child while creating boundaries for them.

Also On The Show...

Get BOTH Insight 2021 and 2022 Replay Libraries now! During this special series, we are giving our listening audience the chance to take home both Insight Virtual Conference Replay Libraries for just $29.95 ($59.95 for Lifetime Access). Click Here to lock in your spot!

Thanks for stopping by this week ;-)

How To Respond To And Effectively Manage Crisis Dec 09, 2022

At some point, the odds of your family being in the middle of a crisis are great. It kinda sorta comes with the territory of the foster and adoption journey. In that moment, what do you do?

We've been in the place many times over the past 20+ years of parenting. And the most important lesson we've learned is that there is a right way to respond, and a wrong way to respond. Beyond that, there are crucial steps we must take to help our child heal, and keep us regulated and calm through, what could be, very difficult circumstances for our entire family for a season.

As we dive into this new series, The Insight Archives, where we are sharing 4 sessions from the 2021 and 2022 Insight Virtual Conference, our hope is that you find clarity and insight as a caregiver. But most importantly, we want you to find hope.

Also On The Show...

SPECIAL CLOSEOUT OFFER... as a listener of the show, you can get full lifetime access to both the 2021 and 2022 Insight Virtual Conference replay libraries for a discounted price. Plus, Certificates Of Training Hours for more than 33 hours of foster care or homestudy credit. Click Here!

Thanks for stopping by this week ;-)

How Former Foster Youth Carry A Lifelong Connection Into Adulthood Dec 02, 2022

The story of foster care can often be heartbreaking. Especially when a child ages out of the system and finds themselves on their own. But, what if a stronger bond existed than what we can see with our eyes?

We were so fortunate to recently inteview author Angelo Grotticelli on the podcast, who wrote the book The Bond. Out of all the books written on foster care and adoption, The Bond is, by far, the most unique. Your heart will warmed by Angelo's words, his story, and his heart for children (particularly teenagers) in foster care.

A Little More About Angelo...

Angelo Grotticelli is a veteran technology trade journalist who, after years of roaming to find his true identity, ironically resides in the same town as the Huntington, N.Y., foster-care home he grew up in. He has a wife and three children.

A Little More About The Bond (in Angelo's words)...

"The Bond traces the journey of an unusual family made up of three unrelated sets of children from different backgrounds all raised in the same foster-care house. We were a collection of eight kids, all from broken homes, who were searching for the stability of an intact family. Unfortunately, that foster family imploded as well, but through sheer will and desperation we kids learned to pick up the pieces and form a lasting connection of our own. I came to the Nelson house from an orphanage in August 1969, when I was nine years old. When I turned eighteen, I was told to leave the family I had come to love. The state child-care payments had stopped and I was cast out. Then, in succession, we all were. Getting emotionally attached to the Nelsons was hard, but getting unattached was devastating. We were very different people who would never have met in another life. Yet today we are a family, as tight as any blood relations."

How To Connect With Angelo...

Also On The Show...

Looking For A Way To Survive The Holiday Season? Have no fear. We created The Holiday Survival Guide so you, and your child, could experience peace this season! Click Here to download now! (It's FREE!)

Thanks for stopping by this week ;-)

Creating A Path Of Change And Empowerment For Women Nov 25, 2022

We had the opportunity to sit down with Lata Hamilton who is a leaderships expert and adult adoptee living in Australia. She has an amazing story that will bring hope and empowerment to women worldwide, but also everyone who listens in!

About Lata Hamilton (in her words)...

"I believe everyone deserves to experience the magic of change. If we can make change the best experience possible, we can inspire change from within and empower ourselves and our teams. I'm a Change Leadership Expert accredited in Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) and Coaching and help women carve their own paths for change in career, leadership and life.

Having worked across Insurance, Financial Services, Retail, Manufacturing, Government, Consumer Goods, and Advertising, I blend together my years of experience and accreditation in Organisational Change Management, Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), and Coaching. I've led change with some of Australia's biggest companies with agile, fit-for-purpose, practical Change Management strategies, plans and approaches. I've worked on changes that have impacted over 100,000 people, operating model changes impacting thousands, global cultural transformations, and digital transformation that is literally change the way that we work. If you’re the kind of leader with vision and passion, pioneer with me."

How To Connect With Lata...

Also On The Show...

THIS WEEK ONLY.... you can get our entire Honestly Adoption University Library (more than 200 hours of training) for 98% off! Click Here to get all the details!

Thanks for stopping by this week ;-)

Resources That Transform (Part 12): Telling A Different Adoption Story Nov 18, 2022

We love heart-warming adoption storylines. And this week, we are excited to share an interview with Preston Pouteaux, one of the producers of a new documentary called "I'll See You Later."

I'll See You Later is a documentary that tells the life altering stories of adoption, profoundly carried between families learning to embody love together. For those who have an adoption story, this film resonates with a heart-aching richness and reflects the beauty of self-giving love; stories that reveal the very best in each of us. Some stories of adoption do not say “goodbye,” but, “I’ll see you later.”

Click Here to learn more about the film.

About Preston...

Dr. Preston Pouteaux is a beekeeper, neighbourhood pastor at Lake Ridge Community Church, and the director of Plesion Studio. He is an engaging speaker, writer, and curator of conversations about faith and neighbourhoods. He studied at Covenant Bible College, Briercrest College, Regent College, Tyndale Seminary, and Jerusalem University College in Israel. He is the author of Imago Dei to Missio Dei [VantagePoint3], the award-winning author of The Bees of Rainbow Falls: Finding Faith, Imagination, and Delight in Your Neighbourhood [Urban Loft Publishers], and of The Neighbours Are Real and Other Beautiful Things [Plesion Studio]. He is a Harvey/Mackey Award winning writer for Faith Today Magazine, Ekstasis Magazine, and Strong Towns. Since 2015 his column, Into the Neighbourhood, has been printed over two millions times in weekly newspapers. Preston lives in Chestermere, Alberta, with his wife Kelly, their daughters Scotia and Ivy, and a few thousand honeybees.

Also on the show...

TODAY is the last day to enroll in Jeff Noble's Caregiver Kickstart Coaching Program and get access to a ton of awesome bonuses from Honestly Adoption University. Click Here to learn more!

Thanks for stopping by this week ;-)

Resources That Transform (Part 11): A Resource That Brings Awareness & Safety During Traffic Stops Nov 11, 2022

You may have just had a double-take when you read the title of this episode! What in the world does safety during a traffic stop have to do with the foster care and adoption parenting journey?

A lot, actually!

Many caregivers on this journey are parenting a multi-racial family, children with a fetal alcohol spectrum disorder, autism, a severe mental illness, or another high special need. The likelihood of them having interactions with law enforcement are high unfortuntely. The biggest struggle, and question, we receive from caregivers is "How do I prepare my child for these possible unfortunate moments when they run into law enforcement?"

Fortunately, we have amazing human beings like Jacquelyn Carter from The Alliance For Safe Traffic Stops, who've created transformational resources we can utlitize to bring safety, but most importantly change!

A Little More About Jacquelyn....

Jacquelyn Carter is the president of Alliance For Safe Traffic Stops and the inventor of Not Reaching. She has an Associate Of Arts Degree in Information Technology, a Bachelor Of Science Degree in Criminal Justice, a Master Of Science Degree in Legal Studies, and a Master Of Public Administration with a concentration in Criminal Justice. She also serves on the Community Advisory Board in Alexandria, Virginia where she is also a resident.

How To Connect With Jacquelyn...

Also On The Show...

Jeff Noble's Caregiver Kickstart Coaching Program is open for registration! When you join, you get more than $5000 in bonus content from Honestly Adoption University. Click Here to learn more!

Thanks for stopping by this week ;-)

Resources That Transform (Part 10): How To Kickstart Success For FASD Caregivers Nov 08, 2022

Welcome to our super duper special episode of The Honestly Adoption Podcast!

We're all about surprises here at Honestly Adoption and we have a big one today. Our good friend Jeff Noble, from FASD Success jumped on Zoom for a special interview about his brand new FREE online workshop for caregivers caring for a child or adult with an FASD called The Caregiver Kickstart FASD Workshop!

Here's what this amazing workshop is about...

Jeff will be teaching his heart out LIVE for three days, and along with his team is also putting together some brand new content and sessions to help you obtain Fetal Alcohol support, information, and strategies.

They'll also be offering bonus sessions and training… brand new Case Studies… as well as all new Action Guides – all geared to give you a renewed mindset and direction.

Within the workshop you'll get:

Live training… Bonus sessions… Action Guides… And access to the team…

100% FREE to join!

Session 1 took place this past Sunday but THERE'S STILL TIME to get in on the action!

All you need to access the entire "FASD WORKSHOP" is your first name and email address.

CLICK HERE TO REGISTER FOR FREE

Thanks for stopping by this week ;-)

Resources That Transform (Part 9): A Conversation About Racial Identity Development, Trauma, & Relationships Nov 05, 2022

We are pleased to welcome Dr. Abby Hasberry, Ph.D. to The Honestly Adoption Podcast. She is an Executive Educational Leadership Coach & Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist Associate. In addition, she is also an adult adoptee and birth parent.

A Little More About Abby (in her own words)...

"If I had only three words to summarize my life's focus, they would be: leadership, service, and education. I'm a passionate executive coach who is also an experienced school administrator, educator, researcher, and college instructor with expertise in school start-ups, diversity and equity, racial identity development, transracial adoption, and leadership development.

In addition, I am a marriage and family therapist. My primary therapy specialties are adoption with focus on transracial adoptees, adolescents and young adults, racial identity development and racial trauma, and relationships. As a trained teacher, I approach each client and their family system through a developmental lens. I consider not only your lived experiences, but also the developmental stage at which you experienced them and how the combination of the two may have affected you. I have been trained in Brainspotting and narrative therapy and believe that the client is the expert in his/her own life. I consider myself diversity focused, trauma-aware, and internal family systems (IFS) informed.

I am also experienced in education management, P-16 education (including professional development and instructional leadership), team building and individual career development, online education, African American studies, curriculum development and implementation, and early childhood education.

My deepest satisfaction has come from developing people. My two ultimate dream jobs would be one in which I am working to reform education while developing talent hands-on, and one in which I am supporting transracial adoptive families."

How To Connect With Abby...

Also On The Show...

FREE workshop on FASDs! Our good friend Jeff Noble kicks off his annual live online workshop this week, November 6-11 and it's a CAN'T MISS EVENT! (Also, it's 100% free to join). Click Here to save your spot!

Thanks for stopping by this week ;-)

Resources That Transform (Part 8): "Brain-Based Resources That Help Caregivers Thrive." Oct 28, 2022

We are pleased to welcome back our good friend, and therapist, Jessica Sinarski from Brave Brains.

Jessica is a highly sought-after therapist, author, and speaker. Extensive post-graduate training and nearly 20 years as a clinician and educator led her to create the resource and training platform–BraveBrains. She makes brain science practical, helping parents and professionals become healers for hurting children.

BraveBrains is a resource and training platform for home, school, and community. Using innovative solutions rooted in brain science, Jessica and her team empower children and adults to heal from early life adversity. From the classroom to the counseling office, from prisons to child protection agencies, from churches to parent support programs…if you’re involved with people who have experienced trauma, they're here to help!

How To Connect With Jessica...

Jessica has also created a wonderful resource, in conjuction with the Riley The Brave series, entitled Riley The Brave Sensational Senses Resource Bundle. Click Here to get your copy!

Thanks for stopping by this week!

Resources That Transform (Part 7): Stories & Soundbites That Transform Oct 20, 2022

Last week, we spent time with some of our closest friends at The Replanted Conference in Chicago, IL and it was AMAZING!

We featured this valuable resources on a previous show in this series, but then we took it a step further. We set up our podcasting equipment at our resource table and recorded impromptu interviews with conference attendees who shared their "And" story....

Adoption and foster care are hard, AND they're filled with beauty!
Adoption and foster care are often messy, AND so worth it.
Our children have us, AND their other parents (and we celebrate that!)

So many amazing stories.

PLUS, we got to hear from amazing humans such as...

Andi Coston from Post Resources
Jamie Finn from Goods & Better
and the one and only Ashley Mitchell from Big Tough Girl.

All amazing and world-changing resources. You will LOVE this episode!

Thanks for stopping by this week ;-)

Resources That Transform (Part 6): The Global Mission Of Reunification Oct 07, 2022

It's Part 6 of our podcast series, Resources That Transform. This week we're replaying an awesome interview we did with Brandon Stiver from 1Millionhome.

1MILLIONHOME is all about reunification. And our guest for this episode, Brandon Stiver, is helping to lead the way. Serving as the community of practice advisor, Brandon serving with 1MillionHome, has created a global collaborative network that is transforming orphanages to bring children back home and restore families. They envision a world where every child grows up in a loving and supportive family.

A little more about Brandon...

Brandon Stiver has worked in the child welfare and nonprofit sectors for over ten years. Before joining 1MILLIONHOME, he led a family based care and advocacy program in Tanzania for several years. Brandon has also worked at a Tanzanian orphanage, in the Californian foster care system and at various churches. He has his Master’s Degree in Global Development and Justice and is passionate about indigenous leadership, community mobilization and seeing global entities come together to deliver the best care for at risk children.

How to connect with Brandon...

1MillionHome website
Brandon's direct email (he said you could have it during the episode :-))
1MillionHome Facebook Page

Also on the show...

The Attachment And Trauma-Focused Therapy Post-Graduate Certificate Program with Deborah Gray is now open for enrollment. The ATFT prepares professionals to help children and families with attachment, trauma, behavioral, and grief issues. This program comes with 9 teaching modules, 26 video lessons, and 46 hours CE Credit. Click Here to register!

Thanks for stopping by this week!

Resources That Transform (Part 5): The Importance Of Accurate History & Where To Find It Sep 30, 2022

One of the things we LOVE about hosting this podcast, is the deeply valuable lessons we learn from our guests. We intentionally schedule guests who challenge us, inspire us, and motivate us. This discussion with Marcie was one of the most aw-inspiring and thought-provoking interviews we've done in the 7 year history of this show! We promise...you will love Marcie and her amazing perspective on the topic of re-learning history!

A little more about Marcie...

Marcie is a writer and the creator of the blog and Instagram feed, Black Coffee with White Friends and Mockingbird History Lessons.

She talks a lot about what it means to embrace intersectionality, diversity and inclusion in our daily lives. She is also a history enthusiast and believes that learning comprehensive history from diverse narratives is not only racially healing but also radically anti- racist.

She recently moved to Chicago, Illinois with her husband, daughter, and their dog Evie where she actively reads a lot of books, watches a lot of movies and drinks a lot of tea and coffee (seriously, she gave us a major craving for a frothy mocha while we were chatting!).

How to connect with Marcie...

Thanks for stopping by this week ;-)

Resources That Transform (Part 4): Providing Dignity & Support For Children In Foster Care Sep 23, 2022

It's Part 4 of our podcast series, Resources That Transform. For this episode we're sharing a highly valuable and transformational resource that is making an impact in the foster care system!

We are excited to share the good work that the Isaiah 117 House is doing to provide support, dignity and necessary resources for children entering the foster care system. Their work is providing dignity and comfort during a very hard, and highly traumatic process.

We were fortunate to be able to sit down with Indianapolis Marion County Expansion Coordinator, Sarah McDaniel, to talk about what the Isaiah 117 House is, how it started, and what their primary focus is.

A little more about Isaiah 117 House...

When children are removed from their homes out of concern for their welfare, they are usually brought to the Department of Children's Services offices to await placement with a foster family. This wait can be several hours to nearly a full day. These children often have nothing with them and are scared, lonely, hungry, and in need of a change of clothing. Isaiah 117 provides a comforting home atmosphere where children can wait in a place that is safe with friendly and loving volunteers who provide clean clothes, smiles, toys, and blankets (to name a few). This space allows children to receive the comfort and care they need while DCS staff do the necessary paperwork and find a good placement for them.

How to get involved in helping further the mission of Isaiah 117 House...

Also on the show...

Calling all Clinicians (and even caregivers!) THIS Tuesday, September 27th we will be live with attachment guru Deborah Gray for a free training entitled How To Promote Healthy Attachments With Your Clients. Click Here to save your spot!

Thanks for stopping by this week!

Resources That Transform (Part 3): A Few Of Our Personal Favorite Resources Sep 16, 2022

It's Part 3 of our podcast series, Resources That Transform, and we're going Oprah style and handing out awesome resources like cars. Okay, maybe not quite to that magnitude, but this list is pretty awesome!

We wanted to take a moment, in the middle of this series, to share some things that are near and dear to our heart, and have helped us become better caregivers!

Here are a few of our personal favorite resources for foster and adoptive parents, as mentioned In the episode:

Kristin:

The Mystery Of Risk: Drugs, Alcohol, Pregnancy, and The Vulnerable Child, Dr. Ira J Chasnoff. One of the best books for understanding the effects of substance exposure prenatally.
Understood.org. Premier website that helps caregivers who are parenting children with ADHD.
Brooke Randolph: Therapist, Author, Speaker & Trainer. Brooke is a partner of Honestly Adoption and our go-to resource for brain spotting and so much more!
The Indiana Alliance On Prenatal Substance Exposure. An amazing resource for caregivers caring for a child with an FASD.

Nicole:

Preply online tutoring. One of the best sites for finding a tutor who can help your child.
Cam Lee, Therapy Redeemed. An amazing site focused on adoption reform and racial justice
Ibada Dance. A dance studio that provides cultural enrichment, discipline, arts education, and opportunities to build and empower youth, young adults, and communities through the art of dance.

Mike:

NTI Upstream. An organization dedicated to advancing the conversation about the issues of health and social welfare.
Guided Growth. A book by Dr. Ira Chasnoff and Dr. Ronald Powell focused on educational and behavioral interventions for children and teens with fetal alcohol spectrum disorders and early trauma.
Foster The Family Support Groups. An initiative from Jamie Finn and Foster The Family to provide in-person support for foster families around the U.S.
Road Trip for Foster & Adoptive Dads. A 3-day event in the mountains of Colorado exclusively for foster and adoptive dads.

Thanks for stopping by this week ;-)

Resources That Transform (Part 2): How To Find Refreshment As A Caregiver Sep 09, 2022

It's Part 2 of our brand new podcast series, Resources That Transform. We are excited to jump into a topic that ALL of us can relate to, and need more of: refreshment and rejuvenation!

But in all honesty, how in the world do we find this as caregivers who constantly have to be 'on' or vigilant with our children? The journey is difficult, and rest seems to be fleeting. We know we need this and we know we need to connect with others on this journey, but how?

If you've been longing for this, or wondering how to accomplish, we have good news! In this episode we're interviewing our good friend Currey Blandford from The Replanted Conference. You will love this episode because we discuss the conference, a special discount for Honestly Adoption listeners, and even charter bus sales (random, we know!).

A Little More About Currey...

Currey is a pastor, podcaster, and entrepreneur. After graduating from Wheaton College with master’s degrees in Exegesis and Theology, he joined the staff at Life Church where he and his wife, JJ, served for the last 12 years. Currey is currently working in corporate sales. They have 2 biological children and welcomed their son through domestic adoption a year ago. The Blandfords support other families walking through adoption and foster care by serving as support group leaders with Replanted. They are also Empowered to Connect Parent Trainers.

How To Connect With Currey...

Also On The Show...

Road Trip for Foster and Adoptive Dads is coming in just a few weeks! We have a spot for you. Click Here to register (or if you're a spouse, sign up your man! He won't regret it.)

Thanks for stopping by this week ;-)

Resources That Transform (Part 1): How To Provide Good Care For Your Child's Hair Sep 02, 2022

As caregivers, we crave good resources. But they can be so hard to find. In this brand new series, we're spotlighting some of the best resources on earth, that help us become the best caregivers possible!

We're kicking off with a good one, right out of the gate. We spent some time with the amazing, and the the lovely Terria Roushun from the Hair Essentials Company. You will love this conversation as the crew discusses how to provide the best care possible for your child's hair.

A Little More About Terria...

Terria Roushun is the CEO and Director of The Hair Essentials Company. Terria has established herself as a veteran in the hair and makeup industry with over 25 years of experience as a licensed cosmetologist, freelance beauty artist and textured hair expert.

Terria has a keen eye for trend looks and her hand perfecting skill has afforded her the opportunity to work with several prestige brands and agencies in New York, Los Angeles, and in the Chicagoland area. More recently she began to help the transracial adoptive and foster community overcome the anxiety of dealing with highly textured hair. Hair Essentials Company is designed specifically with that community in mind.

From a young age it was instilled in Terria to use her gifts to serve others. Throughout her formative years she always kept that notion in the back of her mind, what are my gifts and how can they help others? Today, Terria is celebrated for spreading positivity, empowering families and turning trend looks into everyday fashions.

Now Terria is expanding from one-on-one sessions to sharing her signature methods to help as many transracial adoptive and foster families gain confidence, skills, knowledge and support for their child’s textured hair.

How To Connect With Terria...

Also On The Show...

Dads! Join us in the mountains of Colorado THIS October for Road Trip! Learn More
Join Mike and Kristin in Chicago this October 13-15 for Replanted Conference. Click Here to learn more (and use coupon code OASIS to get $20 off your in-person price or $10 off your simulcast price)

Thanks for stopping by this week ;-)

Resources That Transform (Series Preview) Aug 26, 2022

You need resources, we need resources, we ALL need good resources to help us become the best parents possible.

But let's be honest.....

This. Is. So. Hard. To. Find!

We have so many questions, struggles, needs, desires, hopes, wishes, and downright daydreaming fantasies about how we would love this journey to be that we don't even know where to begin.

If this fits the bill for you, we have good news! There is hope. More importantly, there are answers. After years and years, and hundreds of thousands of emails later, we are finally dedicating an entire podcast series to highlighting resources that transform our journey as caregivers.

We're kicking this off next week. In the meantime, we'd love to hear from you. What resources have you found, and use, that help you become a better caregiver?

Shoot us an email at hello@honestlyadoption.com!

And while you're at it, make sure you check out a few other things we talk about on this episode....

Thanks for stopping by this week ;-)

FASD Expert Spotlight (Part 4): Overcoming Shame & Disappointment On The Journey Aug 19, 2022

As we conclude our special series, FASD Expert Spotlight, we are pleased to share an interview we had the pleasure of doing with our good friend Jeff Noble from The FASD Success Podcast.

Jeff is an FASD caregiver turned educator and a highly sought-after speaker, leader, and parent coach.

On this episode we dove into how to overcome shame and disappointment on this journey, as well as what it means to transform from trauma, build healthy attachments with our children, and so much more!

A little more about Jeff...

Jeff Noble is the Founder and CEO of, an organization that provides hope and education to people caring for someone living with Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder (FASD) through online applications and in-person training sessions, demonstrations and consultations.

Jeff is a helper, a leader and an innovator. His focus is FASD, but his expertise is building community through social media. Using an interactive, yet personal approach, Jeff delivers relevant, useful and need-to-know information to help and support front line workers, educators and caregivers of those living with FASD.

How to connect with Jeff...

Also on the show...

Dads! Join us for Road Trip 2022 in the mountains of Colorado this coming October. Register by September 1st and receive some amazing bonuses. Click Here.
Join us for Replanted Conference this coming October 13-15 in Chicago! Use the promo code OASIS to get $20 off in-person price, and $10 off simulcast price.

Thanks for stopping by this week ;-)

FASD Expert Spotlight (Part 3): The Value Of Understanding & Resources Aug 12, 2022

In the 3rd installment of FASD Expert Spotlight, we're airing an episode we did on our good friend Robbie Seale's podcast, FASD Family Life. We talked trauma, navigating getting a diagnosis for your child, and finding valuable resources (among other things). This show is a gem! We love the work that Robbie is doing to bring hope to families on the FASD journey. You will love our discussion with her.

A little more about Robbie & FASD Life...

FASD Family Life podcast is where we get REAL about raising children and youth with Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder. Host and FASD Educator, Robbie Seale, synergizes her 20 years lived experience, in-depth knowledge of FASD and the best research to educate, encourage, equip parents and caregivers raising children and youth with FASD. Robbie's passion is to help families thrive, because she knows the struggle is real and so is success. Weekly episodes of FASD Family Life discuss the challenges families experience and delivers effective strategies to improve family cohesion and increase understanding of this complex disability.

How to connect with Robbie and the show...

Listen to the podcast

Also on the show...

Dads! Register for Road Trip 2022!

Thanks for stopping by this week ;-)

FASD Expert Spotlight (Part 2): FASD Hope And Advocacy Aug 05, 2022

We are excited to share an interview we did just a few years ago with Natalie Vecchione, on her podcast, FASD Hope. We primarily talked about the release of our latest book, Securely Attached, but wanted to share this interview and point our listeners toward this valuable resource.

A Little More About Natalie...

Natalie Vecchione, Co-Founder of FASD Hope and Host of the FASD Hope podcast series, is also a seasoned guest and conference presenter about the basics of FASD and life as a mom of a young adult son living an FASD.

How To Connect With Natalie...

Also On The Show...

Thanks for stopping by this week ;-)

FASD Expert Spotlight (Part 1): FASDs And The Online World Jul 29, 2022

We know that Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders have a profound effect on a person’s ability to reason, think logically, and control impulses. But in today’s society there are extra dangers.

Our children must live and function in a media-saturated world filled with false realities via the internet and social media. How do we help our children navigate this and what dangers should we be aware of. In this episode, our good friend Dr. Ira Chasnoff from NTI Upstream joins Mike to discuss FASD And The Online World.

A Little More About Dr. Chasnoff...

Ira J Chasnoff, M.D., an award-winning author, researcher and lecturer, is president of NTI Upstream and a Professor of Clinical Pediatrics at the University of Illinois College of Medicine in Chicago. He is one of the nation’s leading researchers in the field of child development and the effects of maternal alcohol and drug use on the newborn infant, child, and adolescent.

How to connect with Dr. Ira Chasnoff...

Also on the show...

Register For Road Trip....GET BONUSES! That's right dads! When you sign up for Road Trip before September 1st, we'll send you FREE access to Trauma Knowledge Masterclass, Oasis for a year, and a signed copy of Mike and Kristin's book, Securely Attached! Click Here to save your spot.

Thanks for stopping by this week ;-)

Becoming Pro-Human (Part 9): Caring For Human Beings Through Listening Jul 22, 2022

As we conclude our series, Becoming Pro-Human, we're ending with arguably the most important aspect of this journey: listening. In fact, we actually show the greatest care and concern for others when we choose to listen. But what does it really mean to listen? And what does this mean for us as foster and adoptive parents, caring for children who have, and will, experience big feelings, and emotions?

In this episode, we discuss...

What it really means to care for humans through listening.
The importance of validation
When it comes to our children's big feeling moments, reacting with compassion.
Taking a posture of curiosity & empathy (especially when our children are expressive)
The importance of not being defensive and not reacting in panic

Also on the show...

Get our Behavior Response Blueprint + Scripts! It's a free download. Click Here.

Thanks for stopping by this week ;-)

Becoming Pro-Human (Part 8) How To Help Our Children With Sensory And Emotional Challenges Jul 14, 2022

As we continue our series, Becoming Pro-Human, we are diving into all things sensory related and talking about sensory and emotional challenges. To do that, we've invited the best of the best to the show. Our good friend Jessica Sinarski from BraveBrains! She's the author of the Riley The Brave children's series, including the new edition, Riley The Brave's Sensational Senses.

Jessica’s super-power is making brain science accessible and entertaining for children and adults alike. She is living this out as a licensed mental health counselor & supervisor, bilingual author, and dynamic presenter. She has shared her expertise as a contributor to magazines, blogs, and podcasts and travels the country spreading this brainy message of hope. She is also the mom of 3 busy boys.

How To Connect With Jessica...

Thanks for stopping by this week ;-)

Becoming Pro-Human (Part 7): Finding Faith And Family Through Foster Care Jul 08, 2022

There is often a negative or dim narrative that follows foster care. And, unfortunately, the beauty of the journey gets pushed to the side by a headline. In-spite of this, however, there is immense hope.

Tori Peterson knows hope. In fact, it's her middle name. And as an adult, she (a former foster youth herself) has grown into a powerful advocate and voice for foster care, and in the process, has found an unshakable faith, the love of family, and a passion to impact foster care providers worldwide. You will LOVE her heart, and her story!

A little more about Tori...

Tori Hope Petersen is a former foster youth letting her Abba Father be known through her stories. Tori is a wife, biological mom and adoptive mom. She is a national speaker, writer, and advocate named Mrs. Universe in 2022. She founded Beloved Initiative, a nonprofit caring for those considered “the least of these.” You can pre-order Tori’s memoir “Fostered” now, which will be released with B&H publishing!

How to connect with Tori...

Also on the show...

Road Trip for Dads DEADLINE is July 9th! Foster and adoptive dads, don't miss your chance to lock in your spot to Road Trip 2022 before the price increases. Click Here to learn more about Road Trip!
Got a GREAT idea for your own podcast? Right now, Libsyn (the site that hosts this podcast) is offering your first month of podcast hosting for free when you sign up as a friend of The Honestly Adoption Podcast. Visit libsyn.com and use the promo code FRIEND.

Thanks for stopping by this week ;-)

Becoming Pro-Human (Part 6): Problematic Narratives And What Foster & Adoptive Parents Can Do Jun 30, 2022

In the wake of the U.S. Supreme Court's decision to overturn Roe v. Wade, a lot of problematic, and dangerous, narratives have risen up. In this episode, we discusss what we've heard, and what foster and adoptive parents can do and say in response.

Also on the show...

DADS! Join Mike and other dads THIS fall for Road Trip. We're heading up into the mountains this October for conversation, camaraderie, and connection and you won't want to miss it. The Early Bird deadline to register is July 9th. Click Here to learn more!
Got a GREAT idea for your own podcast? Right now, Libsyn (the site that hosts this podcast) is offering your first month of podcast hosting for free when you sign up as a friend of The Honestly Adoption Podcast. Visit libsyn.com and use the promo code FRIEND.

Thanks for stopping by this week ;-)

Becoming Pro-Human (Part 5): A Conversation About Fatherhood, Faith, And Equality Jun 24, 2022

For our 5th installment of Becoming Pro-Human, we are excited to welcome our friend, and fellow author and adoptive parent, Steve Disselhorst, to The Honestly Adoption Podcast. We had an amazing conversation on his book, the importance of community for parents, inclusivity, and why the end-goal is for vulnerable children to find permanency with loving families.

A little more about Steve...

Author of the memoir Determined To Be Dad: A Journey of Faith, Resilience, and Love, Steve Disselhorst is the Founder & Principal of a consulting firm, which specializes in personal & professional leadership development and consulting for diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI). During his tenure at Genentech, a biotech company, Steve led leadership development initiatives including strategies and programming to advance historically underrepresented groups in leadership positions.

Whether Steve is creating leadership development programs, facilitating trainings to improve organizational effectiveness, or designing learning solutions to foster culture change, Steve draws on his MBA in marketing and his 25 years experience in corporate America to help each client achieve their unique goals.

Steve serves on the San Mateo County LGBTQ Commission, is a speaker for the San Francisco LGBTQ Speaker’s Bureau and is active in San Mateo County Stonewall Democrats. Previously, he was co-chair of the board of directors for the non-profit, Our Family Coalition, which advances equity for LGBTQ families with children.

Steve is the father of two wonderful children who are the center of his world. They were both adopted; the first through private, open adoption and the second through the foster-to-adopt program. When he is not working, he is usually spending time with the kids at the beach, park, or riding their scooters.

How to connect with Steve...

Also on the show...

Dads! Join Us This Fall For Road Trip. Road Trip is a conversation and it's safe space for foster and adoptive dads to share and find camaderie with one another. Early Bird registration Is extended to July 9th. Click Here to register today. *Space is limited!

Thanks for stopping by this week!

Becoming Pro-Human (Part 4): Overcoming Stigmas Around Pre-natal Drug & Alcohol Exposure Jun 17, 2022

Raised eyebrows. Dismissal in a pediatrician's office. Unfair blame, judgement, or criticism. Conclusion that this is "just a bad kid who wants to do bad things!"

If you're parenting a child who was exposed to drugs or alcohol prenatally, this is all-to familiar territory for you. And, sadly, your child may also be in the crosshairs of these hurtful stigmas. Unfortunately this can be par for the course. But this is often born out of misunderstanding, lack of information, and in correct diagnosis. In this episode of The Honestly Adoption Podcast, we welcome Susan Elsworth, executive director of The Indiana Alliance for Prenatal Substance Exposure to the show to share the realities of prenatal substance exposure as well as discuss the importance of correct information and evaluations.

On the show, we discuss....

What it would mean to have a proper diagnosis and evaluations for young children.
Building our systems based on our children's strengths, instead of our parenting styles.
What it would mean for everyone (caregivers and professionals) to be informed on prenatal exposure.
Eliminating labels such as "they are adopted" from our verbiage as caregivers.

How to connect with Susan and Indiana Alliance...

Thanks for stopping by this week ;-)

Becoming Pro-Human (Part 3): How To Care For Our Mental Health As Caregivers Jun 09, 2022

The adoption and foster care journey can take its toll on us. We're not saying that our children take a toll on us. It's just the exhaustion of understanding diagnosis, managing difficult behaviors, navigating a difficult foster care system, and trying to find the best services for our children, in a world that offers zero help in the mental health arena.

Add in a global pandemic for the past 2 years and we find ourselves in a full-blown crisis personally. How do we care for ourselves, as caregivers, while we stay hands-on with our children?

In this episode, we discuss...

The realities of the mental health care system in the US (and globally)
The unique ways each of us care for ourselves and our own mental health
How we can find hope as caregivers when we feel like we're only surrounded by storms.

Also on the show...

Road Trip is open for registration! We talked a little about being a dad and needing support and Mike mentioned Road Trip for dads, happening this October in the mountains of Colorado Springs. Click Here to learn more!
Oasis Community. In light of taking care of our own mental health, and the great need we have for community and connection, the crew talked about creating Oasis Community to be that for caregivers. You can try it out for free for 30 days (no strings attached!). Click Here to activate your trial.

Thanks for stopping by this week ;-)

Becoming Pro-Human (Part 2): What Are You Afraid Of? Jun 03, 2022

In case you weren't aware, we are raising human beings who are going to grow to think, believe, and identify the way they choose. We can either accept that or resist that. There is no in-between.

Yet, so many caregivers do resist, or attempt to damage control, their children's choices when they realize they've chosen a different path from one they understand or agree with. Fear often drives caregivers to do this.

Our question in this episode is this: "What are you afraid of?"

In honor of Pride Month (June), AAPI Month (May), and Black History Month (February) we are taking a deeper look at acceptance and our children. On the foster and adoptive journey it's likely that we are parenting children who will choose different paths from us. And that's okay.

Buckle up, because the crew goes deep in this episode with these questions:

What did you think would happen when you became a parent?
Who did you think you would parent?
What surprised you?
What concerned you?
What delighted you?
What can we do as our children discover and explore their own identities?
What can we do to support them?
What can we do to educate and grow ourselves?

Also on the show, Mike, Kristin and Nicole get personal...

Currently, Nicole is following Mrcrim3 on TikTok, Kristin is following @steve.disselhorst and @blackwomenincharge, and Mike is kinda-sorta following CardiB (only to watch her video of a million dollar yacht sinking)
Nicole shared that she is reading The Wrong Family by Tarryn Fischer, Kristin is reading How To Be An Antiracist by Ibram X Kendi, and Mike is reading The 1619 Project created by Nikole Hannah-Jones.
Nicole is listening to Dark History on Spotify, Kristin is listening to Let's Get To It by Kelly Hamilton, and Mike is listening to The Top Gun Soundtrack and sometimes The Greatest Showman Soundtrack (when he wants to jack himself up with inspiration!)

Thanks for stopping by this week ;-)

Becoming Pro-Human (Part 1): A Different Discussion May 27, 2022

With so much discussion, debate, and arguing happening around Roe v. Wade, and the pro-life versus pro-choice movements, we've decided to start a different discussion: becoming pro-human. But what does that mean? Where do we even begin? Join Kristin, Nicole and Mike as they open up this discussion (and even share some humorous moments!)

Why Won't My Child Respect My Boundaries? May 21, 2022

It's possible that because of your child's trauma history, and the impact that has had on his or her brain, they simply can't follow simple guidelines, or adhere to boundaries. Hard to believe, but it's true.

Why Does My Child Reject Me? May 13, 2022

If you've spent more than a couple of days on this journey, you know rejection is par for the course. Regardless of how hard you try to connect, build trust, reach out, or meet needs, your child rejects you. It can be soul crushing, and just plain exhausting. You're left feeling like a failure.

But you aren't. In fact, there's way more going on with your child than meets the eye. We know that behavior is a window into past trauma. Rejection is a by-product of this.

Can A Person Overcome Childhood Trauma? May 06, 2022

But will they ever be able to live free of it later on in life when they are adults?

On today's show we are so excited to welcome Best-Selling Author, Anna LeBaron on to talk about the effects of childhood trauma and how she has worked to overcome them and live free. As a child Anna grew up in a polygamist cult and experienced horrific abuse at the hands of her father. Her story is one of hope and triumph and we know you'll find immense encouragement from her words.

What Happens When Birth Parents And Adoptive Parents Support One Another? Apr 29, 2022

If you haven't met Ashley Mitchell yet, you need to. At age 26 Ashley placed her son for adoption. It was a dark time in her life. She felt a deep sense of loss as she returned home from the hospital without her baby. Would she ever find hope? The answer was yes. But it would be quite the journey. Today, 16 years later, she has become a powerful voice for birth parents, and an advocate for ethical adoptions. You will love her heart and perspective.

Why Re-regulation Strategies Are NOT Spoiling Or Enabling Apr 22, 2022

You've probably been there a time or two when your child was dysregulated: extended family, close friends, or even your other children frustrated or angry because, instead of swift correction (which they all believe should happen) you're talking calmly to your child, as if they had done nothing wrong. It's a common occurrence that outsiders will misconstrue re-regulation strategies for enabling, or letting of the hook. But that's not the case. On today's show, we discuss why that is.

Becoming Trauma-Informed is Everything! Apr 15, 2022

If you were to ask our guest for this week's podcast, she would tell you, "Become trauma-informed!" When you understand trauma, and you know how it manifests itself in your child's life, and behavior, everything changes. Andie Coston is our guest, and what an amazing interview this is! We LOVE Andie and are certain you will too!

How To Bring Hope To Vulnerable Children Apr 08, 2022

It begins with compassion, understanding, and making yourself and your life available. From there, it takes action. Peter Mutabazi is demonstrating all of this in his mission through NowIAmKnown.com and his journey as a foster dad.

Insight That Will Transform Your Journey Apr 01, 2022

From the memorable quotes, to the "ah-ha" moments, to the tears, to the on-camera dancing....the dancing....oh the dancing! Insight Virtual Conference 2022 was one for the history books.

More than 650 caregivers and professionals, from all corners of the world, gathered online to listen to 15 amazing speakers, trainers, and thought leaders for 2 full days last week. Our team is still coming down from Cloud 9. Even though we spent months planning, and organizing, we knew that we would sit back and enjoy a ride that would greatly exceed our expectations. And it did!

Meeting Our Children Where They Are Mar 25, 2022

In our latest episode of The Honestly Adoption Podcast, Mike, Kristin and Nicole have a candid conversation about the fallacies in education (especially when they first began this journey), how there's no one right way to help our children process what they've been through, the importance of NOT keep your child's adoption story from them, choosing to meet our children where they are in the messy and the hard, and much much more!

Encouragement, Hope, and Practical Help For Foster Parents Mar 18, 2022

Jamie knows the trials and struggles that foster parents face. And because of this, she has dedicated her life to not only caring for vulnerable children, but also providing resources, tools, and hope for the entire foster family. Her new book, Foster The Family, dives deep into the real life journey of foster families, but also provides the hope, encouragement, and practical help they need to thrive.

How To Achieve Resiliency As A Caregiver Mar 10, 2022

Resiliency is possible. It just doesn't look like it does for the vast majority of humanity who are not on this journey. We have to recognize the areas of our lives where we can seize the opportunity to build resiliency while we are actively involved in caring for our children 24-7. So what does that look like?

In this episode of The Honestly Adoption Podcast, we're sharing the audio from a recent seminar Mike and Kristin spoke at down in Louisville, Kentucky.

A Look Back At 20 Years Of Parenting (And How Our Views Have Changed) Mar 04, 2022

What we thought we knew about parenting when (or before) we began this journey certainly evolves. Realistically speaking, we realize how much we didn't know before cradling that baby in our arms, rushing about for the elementary-aged child, or navigating the attitude-ridden teenage years. And then of course, there's the unique and often challenging journey of foster care and adoption. Suffice it to say, we've learned a lot. But more importantly, we grow.

Using Story And Brain Science To Help Your Children Heal Feb 25, 2022

We’ve spent the past 7 years explaining the brain, and how trauma impacts it, in a very simple fashion because, well, most of us are parents, and caregivers, not medical experts. That’s precisely why we love the work that Jessica Sinarski is doing through BrainBrains and the books and resources she’s created. This interview was enlightening, refreshing, and thought-provoking!

How To Find Success When You're Parenting Children With FASDs Feb 17, 2022

You CAN find success on the journey of parenting a child with a FASD. We are excited to share today's episode of The Honestly Adoption Podcast, because that's exactly what we're talking about. And we've invited one of the world's leading experts on this topic: Jeff Noble!

Why We Need Foster Care Reform And How To Accomplish It! Feb 11, 2022

Gaelin Elmore found himself in 25 different foster homes, over 13 years as a youngster. Fortunately for him, a kind and caring football coach brought him into his home while he finished high school. Through that turn of events, he received the resources he needed to thrive as he transitioned into adulthood. But so many children do not have the same fortune as Gaelin did. Now, in his adult life, he's on a mission to speak truth into the foster care system, and enact change that will ultimately transform the lives of thousands of vulnerable foster youth.

Making Sense Of Sensory-Seeking Behaviors Feb 04, 2022

We often confuse the need for sensory input for bad behaviors, or a child who just can’t settle down. But for children who have a trauma history, and have lost control of that area of their life, there is a deep need for comfort and security that they do not know how to articulate. So, it comes out through behaviors. In today’s episode we discuss strategies to help your child receive the sensory input he, or she, needs.

Parenting Teenagers With A Trauma History Jan 28, 2022

Fostering, adopting, or even simply parenting teenagers is no small task and it’s certainly not for the faint of heart. It’s challenging. But when you consider the reality of trauma histories, and how they determine present behavior, the question must be asked- “Is this a teenager being a teenager, or is there something else going on here?” That’s the question we answer in this episode of the podcast.

How To Respond To Survival Behaviors Jan 21, 2022

Survival behaviors are common among children with a trauma history. The reason is simple: they often can't articulate unmet needs and, thus, resort to survival tactics and methods to try to meet those needs. While they're common, there are crucial steps we can take, as caregivers, to make sense of, and effectively respond to these behaviors.

In this episode of The Honestly Adoption Podcast, Mike and Kristin, along with Nicole Goerges, walk through these steps, and provide listeners with practical solutions to help them better parent their children.

How To Respond To Survival Behaviors Jan 21, 2022

Survival behaviors are common among children with a trauma history. The reason is simple: they often can't articulate unmet needs and, thus, resort to survival tactics and methods to try to meet those needs. While they're common, there are crucial steps we can take, as caregivers, to make sense of, and effectively respond to these behaviors.

In this episode of The Honestly Adoption Podcast, Mike and Kristin, along with Nicole Goerges, walk through these steps, and provide listeners with practical solutions to help them better parent their children.

How To Respond To Survival Behaviors Jan 21, 2022

Survival behaviors are common among children with a trauma history. The reason is simple: they often can't articulate unmet needs and, thus, resort to survival tactics and methods to try to meet those needs. While they're common, there are crucial steps we can take, as caregivers, to make sense of, and effectively respond to these behaviors.

In this episode of The Honestly Adoption Podcast, Mike and Kristin, along with Nicole Goerges, walk through these steps, and provide listeners with practical solutions to help them better parent their children.

How To Respond To Survival Behaviors Jan 21, 2022

Survival behaviors are common among children with a trauma history. The reason is simple: they often can't articulate unmet needs and, thus, resort to survival tactics and methods to try to meet those needs. While they're common, there are crucial steps we can take, as caregivers, to make sense of, and effectively respond to these behaviors.

In this episode of The Honestly Adoption Podcast, Mike and Kristin, along with Nicole Goerges, walk through these steps, and provide listeners with practical solutions to help them better parent their children.

How To Respond To Survival Behaviors Jan 21, 2022

Survival behaviors are common among children with a trauma history. The reason is simple: they often can't articulate unmet needs and, thus, resort to survival tactics and methods to try to meet those needs. While they're common, there are crucial steps we can take, as caregivers, to make sense of, and effectively respond to these behaviors.

In this episode of The Honestly Adoption Podcast, Mike and Kristin, along with Nicole Goerges, walk through these steps, and provide listeners with practical solutions to help them better parent their children.

How To Respond To Survival Behaviors Jan 21, 2022

Survival behaviors are common among children with a trauma history. The reason is simple: they often can't articulate unmet needs and, thus, resort to survival tactics and methods to try to meet those needs. While they're common, there are crucial steps we can take, as caregivers, to make sense of, and effectively respond to these behaviors.

In this episode of The Honestly Adoption Podcast, Mike and Kristin, along with Nicole Goerges, walk through these steps, and provide listeners with practical solutions to help them better parent their children.

How Lack Of Sleep Can Contribute To Behavior Issues Jan 13, 2022

We know this. As caregivers we also need good sleep to avoid moodiness, short tempers, and slow functionality. If that's the case for us, it's certainly the case for our children, who deal with disrupted sleep due to trauma. We must work to help our children stay regulated through better sleep. But how do we accomplish this?

In this episode of The Honestly Adoption Podcast, Mike and Kristin, along with Nicole Goerges, discuss practical ideas to helping your children get better, and more consistent sleep. They also discuss how lack of sleep can significantly contribute to behavioral issues, even days after the rough night occurred.

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Making Sense Of Your Child's Triggers Jan 07, 2022

It can be exhausting and maddening to deal with as a caregiver. And frankly, it often makes no sense whatsoever. Triggered behavior can seem like it doesn't make sense, but there is a reason. More than that, there is an origin to the behavior you are seeing and experiencing.

On this episode of The Honestly Adoption Podcast, Mike and Kristin Berry, along with Nicole Goerges discuss triggers and how to make sense of something that seems like it came out of the blue.

From the show....

Certain seasons, or times of the year, can be a trigger
Sounds, smells, feelings, sensory needs contribute to extreme behavior
Perceived threat and responding to gaslighting
Behavior is a voice to something bigger

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