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The Real Question — Relationships
The Real Question

The Real Question is a show that holds space for life’s tough questions. Each episode, a guest brings a personal question they’re grappling with, and Chaplain Mauricio Bruce helps them find an answer. This season, our focus is on future-oriented questions – those that start with ‘Should I…’

Mauricio sits down with guests who are contemplating big and small changes in their lives — whether it’s habits, careers, or relationships. In every episode, he asks the pivotal question: “Who do you want to be and what’s the best path to get there?”

The Real Question is produced by Not Sorry Productions, a feminist organization that produces podcasts, educational content, live shows, and immersive experiences with the explicit goal of addressing the spiritual needs of its participants. Through community, rigor, and ritual, we treat traditionally secular things as if they were sacred. To learn more about what we do, visit https://notsorryworks.com/

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Copyright: © Not Sorry Productions

Latest Episodes:

Rituals (The Happiness Lab) Aug 30, 2021

Show notes

Instead of a normal episode this week we're bringing you an episode of The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos, featuring our own Casper ter Kuile.

Space crews, athletes and pop stars all indulge in strange rituals before moments of high stress. It's easy to mock these behaviours - indeed even the people who practise them often admit they're a bit weird - but they can act like performance enhancing drugs. Dr Laurie Santos looks at the research to show why creating a good luck ritual can make us perform better and feel calmer, happier and more confident when faced with life's big moments.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Good Intentions Aug 23, 2021

Show notes

Vanessa has had a lot of really positive interactions with strangers. However there are moments when strangers, for whatever reason, trigger her defense mechanisms. What should she do in those moments? She doesn't want to be naive - there are people out there who can hurt you or take advantage of you. But also, she knows it's important to be kind whenever possible.

With help from Thelma and Louise and an episode of Radiolab, Vanessa and Casper discuss whether we should assume good intentions in strangers.

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We are so grateful to our supporters on Patreon who make this show possible. If you can, please considering chipping in!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Beauty Aug 16, 2021

Show notes

Casper is suspicious of the value he puts on beauty in his life. He knows that he doesn't want to judge human bodies by their aesthetics, that much makes sense. But is it okay to love other forms of beauty out in the world? Or is that problematic too?

With the help of a Shakespearean sonnet and 'How Fair This Spot' by Rachmaninoff, Casper and Vanessa untangle how to think about beauty as a moral category.

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We are so grateful to our supporters on Patreon who make this show possible. If you can, please considering chipping in!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Are You Okay? Aug 09, 2021

Show notes

Vanessa doesn't know what to do when people ask her 'are you okay?' A lot of the time, she is not okay. She lives with a chronic illness, so unfortunately that kind of comes with the territory.

On the one hand, radical honesty and communication is good. On the other hand, other people have their own problems. And most of the time, it's not like anyone can actually help.

With help from I Am, I Am, I Am by Maggie O'Farrell and Cinderella, Vanessa and Casper explore the allure of a 'suck-it-up' mentality and how to be in relationship as someone who's hurting.

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We are so grateful to our supporters on Patreon who make this show possible. If you can, please considering chipping in!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Name Change Aug 02, 2021

Show notes

Casper has never liked his middle name. He’s ready to change it to something more meaningful to him, but how does he go about picking the right replacement?

With help from John O’Donohue and Call Me By Your Name, Casper and Vanessa explore the connection between re-naming and a spiritual life.

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We are so grateful to our supporters on Patreon who make this show possible. If you can, please considering chipping in!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Internet (with John Green) Jul 26, 2021

Show notes

John Green has spent much of his life and career online. The community that he’s built there has been one of his greatest joys and achievements. But more and more he feels like his time on social media is poisoning his sense of well-being. Should he just give it up? Or would that be turning his back on something too valuable?

With help from an essay by Thomas Berry and an episode of the podcast Your Undivided Attention, John, Vanessa and Casper explore the addictive quality of being online and if there's anyway to escape it.

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We are so grateful to our supporters on Patreon who make this show possible. If you can, please considering chipping in!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Friend Break-Ups: Part 2 Jul 19, 2021

Show notes

Vanessa has some friendships that feel more like obligations than pleasures. What does she do with these friends? Does she break-up with them? Does stick it out and hope that they become fun again? Does she tell them how she feels? And how does she do any of it without hurting the people she cares about?

With help from the musical Waitress and Erich Fromm’s The Art of Loving, Vanessa and Casper weigh the value of clear communication versus the potentially healthy ebb and flow of life-long friendships.

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We are so grateful to our supporters on Patreon who make this show possible. If you can, please considering chipping in!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Regret Jul 12, 2021

Show notes

Recently, Casper’s been looking back on his life with regret: he should have kissed more boys when he was younger! But what is he supposed to do with that feeling now? And how can he make sure that he’s living his life in a way that he won’t regret in the future?

With help from a poem by Lucille Clifton and How Proust Can Change your Life by Alain de Baton, Casper and Vanessa try to parse what exactly the feeling of 'regret' is and what we can learn from it.

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We are so grateful to our supporters on Patreon who make this show possible. If you can, please considering chipping in!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Praying With Jane Eyre - Audio Book Sneak Peek! Jul 08, 2021

Show notes

Vanessa's book finally came out into the world on Tuesday and we're so excited to share a chapter from the audiobook with you today! If you haven't already, you can snag your copy here.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Praying With Jane Eyre - Release Day Interview! Jul 06, 2021

Show notes

Vanessa's book is finally out in the world today! She chats with Casper about her writing process, inspiration, and more. If you haven't already, you can grab a copy of her book here!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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