The Real Brian Show

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93: Sympathy vs Empathy | Stranger Things 2 | Awaken Online: Catharsis | Megadeth Christmas | Lacuna Coil Dec 08, 2017

Show notes

As we draw deeper into the season of giving, of love and good cheer, and, most importantly, of hope, our conversations lead to the heart of matters that affect our relationships and, as a result, affect our community. Here at The Real Brian Show we are advocates for having the difficult conversations, for breaking complex human actions down into smaller pieces in an attempt to understand them, and encouraging one another to be the best version of ourselves. So join us in welcoming Mad Scientist back to the show! We get serious with a talk about the value of sympathy vs empathy, have some fun talking about Stranger Things 2 and Destiny 2.

In This Episode

Tis the season...
...to buy, buy, buy!
Just kidding. It's the season of love and good cheer
Finding other things to do than get and give... DO!
Mad Scientist and His Med School Applications
Sympathy vs Empathy and when to wield them

Sympathy vs Empathy

Sympathy (compassion, pity for someone) and empathy (personally understand someone) are significant traits to have, but it is challenging to know when to use which one. Looking through the lens of a practicing doctor, the Mad Scientist lays down his observations for why a doctor emphasizing empathy may be less appealing than one who practices sympathy. It's a very interesting distinction and there are many aspects of life in which we may be able to exhibit either sympathy or empathy, but only one will be best for someone else.

Listen in! If you have your own response to the conversation, leave a note in the comments!

Stranger Things 2

Like the Mad Scientist, my cousins and I blew through the new season rather quickly. Not a day quickly, but 2 days over the course of two weekends. It was nice to have the week in between the first half and second half of the season. It gave me time to ruminate, reminisce, and anticipate what was coming. The season delivered on the suspense factor, it matched last season's dorky cuteness, and took some turns with characters to which I was pleasantly surprised defied the typical cliches they might otherwise be beholden to.

From the beginning, this show has reminded me, in all the best ways, of Fringe. This season brought up some themes that were even more strikingly similar. For you super fans out there, do you remember Season 4 Episode 3 "Alone in the World"? In this episode, a young boy develops a psychic bond with a fungus. The fungus saves him from bullies, leading to their untimely deaths. When the boy is connected to the deaths of these boys, our favorite FBI team is brought into investigate. Walter, ever so keen to the fringe sciences, hypothesizes that a psychic link formed between the boy and the fungus after the boy's gradual exposure to the fungi's spores. When the FBI tries to exterminate the fungus, whatever they do to the fungus has a similar effect on the boy. Including trying to destroy the fungus with blowtorches.

It's one of my favorite episodes from season 4, and I always thought the story was too fascinating to contain to a single episode, so this season of Stranger Things was a bit like fan fiction for me. It fleshed out this story of a psychic connection to a living organism, took bizarre and unforeseen turns... I loved it, through and through.

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Photo by Leone Venter on Unsplash

Show notes

Under commitment, over commitment. We see it all in modern society. Carl, Brian and Emilee take a whack at dissecting what it is getting in our way, why we make promises we don't intend to keep or why we hold back from making any promises at all. It's Superhero Friday, though! Which means we're going to have a blast talking about all our favorite things, including Justice League (we promise only minor spoilers).

In This Episode

Emilee (Miss Ice) and Carl (CJ Thunder) join Brian!
Act your age, not your shoe size
Christmastime....is coming. Peppermint mocha, anyone?
Emilee has never had Eggnog?!
Commitment: we over commit and under commit
Being intentional about promises, about things we commit to
Being willing to have uncomfortable conversations
Honesty versus a perception of sparing someone's feelings (this can be done in a respectful way)
Justice League!

Just Quit

Remember the adage, nobody likes a quitter? Sometimes when this is used, it takes an action completely out of context. As I thought more about it, I was curious to find a couple interesting ways to consider how quitting is used to define and entrap people from making decisions.

Being a quitter could be viewed in two ways. 1) Someone who quits one particular thing at a particular moment in time. 2) An identifier for someone who gives up too soon. When things get hard, do you buckle down, reassess and try to figure the situation out? Or do you bail? We talk about commitments in this installment of the podcast and how, as a society, we tend to inadvertently undervalue other people in the long term in order to satisfy an immediate need to please others. Example: saying yes to something when asked, in order to make someone happy, without any intention on following through.

Is there a solution? Likely there isn't a one-size fits all solution, but I do believe we make terrible habits out of saying one thing and doing another. Often we're not intentionally being hypocritical, we're just trying to be nice. But I do think it stems from a mindset of being me-oriented instead of others-oriented. I have been very guilty of this in the past, and it's taken significant intentionality to learn how to kindly and patiently be honest with others even if the answer I have for them, or a response I have for them, is not what they want to hear.

What are your thoughts on the matter? Leave a comment below!

Show notes

Welcome back to The Real Brian Show! On this installment of the podcast, before a brief hiatus as we break for Thanksgiving, we welcome Shear Terror (Morgan) back to the show. Did you know that Brian is 13" taller than Morgan? Yeah. Seriously. But height makes no different on a podcast, right? Our differences make us unique and give us unique experiences and give us a variety that makes life so well rounded. But our differences also cause bias, division and derision. Why? Oh, let us count the ways.

In This Episode

CSU Basketball
Guild Wars... and making money
What Feminism really means
Stop the hate!
Communication is suffering

Stop the Hate

Morgan and Brian (not to be confused with USWNT superstar Morgan Brian) have a great discussion about how the claws of feminism have turned something that is intrinsically good - the fight for equality in the value of human life, regardless of differences - into something that hurts the people who the cause claims is hurting them. Equality embraces differences, looking beyond what makes us unique, and valuing each person as a human being, as a unique individual.

Maybe you think that it's easy to say because I'm [fill in the blank]. Or it's easy to say, but harder to do. But just like everything else in life, how we treat others is a choice we make. If, when you think on it, you realize that the way you treat others is more reactionary than a conscious decision, then maybe it's time to step back and teach yourself some new habits. I'm thinking of someone in my life, as I type this, who I've developed a bad habit of snapping at when I can't easily convey my point. I'm very aware of the differences between us and even why I snap, but I become so impatient that it causes that divide between us to keep expanding.

The biggest takeaway from the episode, we hope, is an encouragement to acknowledge the differences between yourself and the people who surround you and learn how to work with them instead of against them. Maybe it means listening to a point of view you disagree with, maybe it means keeping your mouth shut when you were about to say something mean. Words can be used to create and destroy, and if they're doing both at once then something is not right. If by building one person up, another is brought down... a new approach needs to be had.

Photo by Mayur Gala on Unsplash

Show notes

Welcome back to The Real Brian Show! This week we've invited Lee Stephen and Andrea Deck to join the discussion. We last spoke with Lee in Episode 86 and were eager to get him back. To add some flavor, we also recruited Andrea Deck, who is a voice, film and stage actor currently living in Great Britain. Together we chat about video games,what it's like being an American and living in England, voice acting, and Type-1 diabetes. Ready for some fun?

In This Episode

Thanksgiving in England
Questions about living in England
Currently nerding out about....
Video Games: Ghost Recon: Wildlands, Alien: Isolation
Voice acting
Type 1 Diabetes

Andrea Deck

You may recognize Andrea's voice before her face... Though she is known for film and television roles, she's also voiced a couple characters on well known video games! On Alien: Isolation she voiced the character Amanda Ripley and Martha Wayne on Batman: Arkham VR, as well as characters in Strike Suit Zero, Carol, and Star Wars Battlefront.

As a Type-1 Diabetic, Andrea shares some much-needed context for those of us who haven't been touched closely by this disorder.After being diagnosed at a young age, she needed to learn how to deal with something that would become life-long. Diabetes doesn't just present itself physically, emotionally as well. We get to zoom in on someone's personal experience with the disorder and how she's learned to work with it instead of fight against it.

Show her some love and follow on Instagram!

Links

Photo by Adrien Ledoux on Unsplash

Show notes

Happy Superhero Friday! In this installment of the podcast, I step out from behind the veil of the blog posts and co-host with Brian. We have a lot of fun with this discussion, including diving into one of my favorite topics... personality tests! There are several unmistakeable truths in this life: 1) the world is always changing, 2) sometimes things happen to us, and 3) we need to interact with people. Personality tests don't have an answer key, but they certainly produce tools for us to understand those 3 unmistakeable truths!

In This Episode

Wild Weather
Animated movies
Voice acting
Personality Tests (Enneagram, MBTI)
Learning to adjust with life changes
Sci-Fi November! Stranger Things Season 2, Dark Matter

Sometimes I Try To Be Normal

Let's be honest, whenever we try to be normal... there's usually some colossal fallout. Right? Oh, maybe you can be successful at it, but whenever I try to be like everyone else all I end up doing is making people feel awkward! One of the reasons I love personality tests is because I've been able to learn a lot about myself through them. And not just in the typical introspective way, but in ways that made me realize that how I am isn't wrong or bad or even abnormal!

Learning about ourselves isn't enough, though. We've got to learn about ourselves in order to take an interest in other people and learn about how our personalities can get along better with other personalities. And knowing our own nuances can help provide grace and understanding to other people's nuances.

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Show notes

Welcome to the Harry Potter episode of The Real Brian Show! From beginning to end, front to back, this is Harry Potter through and through We're drinking butterbeer, eating chocolate frogs (or nuance chocolate...), talking about our favorite (and least favorite) Harry Potter things. Basically, if you love Harry Potter, you're going to have a blast joining in this week.

In This Episode

Introductions all around!
What does Harry Potter mean to you?
Favorite characters! Least favorite characters!
TRIVIA
Taste testing Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans

Harry Potter

If there was ever a conversation I wish I could have been a part of, it was this one! Harry Potter is such a unique book series in how so many different people from so many walks of life can connect to it in different ways...at various stages of life. In one of the most powerful world-building series ever written, we can completely lose ourselves to a story of misfits, of outcasts, and of severe friendship.

So because I want to join in on the fun, here are some of my favorite Harry Potter things!

Book: & the Prisoner of Azkaban (because we're introduced to Sirius Black and Harry learns the truth about who betrayed his parents. And there's time travel.)
Movie: ugh. If I had to choose one I like... Prisoner of Azkaban. It's the least awkward. And there's time travel.
Primary Character: Hermione. Duh. Book smart, goofy, she does her thing and always does what she says she's going to do.
Secondary Character: Remus Lupin. It's almost a toss up between Remus and Sirius, but in some odd ways I identify with Remus... and he's such an integral part to Harry's education (and continuing education)
Subject: if I could enroll in Hogwarts, I would spend all of my time in Transfiguration. That is so friggin' cool.

...And my least favorites

Book: & the Sorcerer's Stone. It's just oddly written. If JKR was given a chance to produce a "second edition", I hope she'd focus on that one and clean it up.
Movie: just one? Uhm. Whenever Dan Radcliffe started drinking. Was that the 4th or the 5th? I also dislike the ones before he started drinking.
Primary Character: is it possible to hate a primary character? I guess in the movies I dislike Harry.
Secondary Character: Vernon Dursley. The fact that he was an abuser was never addressed, which is totally fine... but what a rotten person who never got what was coming to him. It was only because Harry was who he was that he even survived.
Subject: Divination. It's a wooly subject.

Interestingly, even though these books came out when I was a kid, I didn't read them until I was in college. I remember sitting in the cafeteria with a friend who was telling me about these "Harry Potter" books. The sixth book had just come out and she was in fits. I told her that I didn't know what she was talking about, but I wasn't planning on reading them, so she told me what happened at the end of book six. (And we all know what happened at the end.) Well, months later when I actually picked up the books and read them... I totally forgot about that conversation until maybe a chapter before IT ACTUALLY HAPPENED. It didn't ruin it for me, I just started crying a couple chapters earlier.

Share your favorite Harry Potter memories, characters, movies or books in the comments!

Photo Gallery

Show notes

When circumstances dominate us it is easier to notice how the things we think manifest in our lives. Let's talk about balance and how we can turn the negative outcomes into positive ones! Camron is back from the city that never sleeps, so he and Brian dive right into another fantastic Superhero Friday installment of The Real Brian Show.

In This Episode

Do you like Autumn? Hopefully more than the Nightfox...
Guinness and Gouda Bread, courtesy of Great Harvest
Will Smith's motivational sky diving speech
What we think about ourselves and about our situations manifest
Happiness is a choice
Alien: Isolation and Overwatch comments

Manifests

“What you sow in thought, either useful or useless, manifests itself sooner or later in your circumstances.”

Cogito ergo sum. I think, therefore I am. It's a phrase people toss around like candy at an Independence Day parade, thinking there is so much pride in thinking and, thus, being. The phrase, originally penned by Rene Descartes (philosopher from the 1600s), was fascinated by the idea that in order to contemplate doubt our existence, we also must have the capability of doubting (thinking), which thereby negates any doubt we can have over our existence.

In the centuries since Descartes' day, many people have taken his words in many directions, have argued semantics and have been skeptical of proper definitions... but if we strip all that away for a moment and just meditate on the basic premise, we're left with a stunning realization that we're only capable of questioning the things we have enough knowledge on to know any different way of being.

Follow? It's kind of interesting. I had the issue as a kid of being well-read, but lacking formal instruction around pronunciation. I read a lot of stories and inferred many words from context, but the building blocks of language were only beginning to come together for me and, as a result, I didn't know how to pronounce a lot of the words I was reading. The one that I always remember most vividly is the word facade. Properly pronounced, it sounds like fuh-sawd. The way I pronounced it was more like fah-cayd. But I never questioned the word, or pronunciations in general, up until I said the word in public and was lovingly chided. I didn't know enough to question the pronunciation, but after I did... it became quite consuming and is still something I work on getting correct to this day.

Brian and Camron talk a lot about how our situations perpetuate our thought process, and vice versa. What we think about ourselves and our situations begins to manifest. Like biting the same spot on the inside of your mouth repeatedly, we inadvertently point ourselves to the things we think even when it stuff we don't want.

Inversely, as Brian points out, we are fully capable of producing positive effects from this tendency! When we can be confident about decisions, about who we are and why we know what we know, we can think about things that point us to what we want and achieve those goals. Having the capacity to question ourselves is a great tool, but it should be a tool we wield in order to grow and better ourselves and our circumstances instead of it becoming a road block.

Links

Will Smith's Motivational Sky Diving Speech

Show notes

Happy Superhero Friday! While the Nightfox is hittin' up the City that Never Sleeps, Brian recruits Lee Stephen to fill in his shoes. Great expectations is definitely a theme here, but we also venture into the traditional nerdy topics about video games and television. We talk about ways we relieve stress, pet peeves about storytelling, and inspirational health tips.

In This Episode

Fancy coffee is for GIRLS! Real men drink black coffee straight from the pot
Stress relievers
Pet peeves about storytelling
Great Expectations (no, not the novel)
- When what we EXPECT is different from what happens
- Mastering expectations.... is tough
Hugely impacted by Pain Reframed podcacst

Expectations

Did you ever listen to Dashboard Confessional? I can still sing along to every song on the album A Mark, A Mission, A Brand, A Scar. A couple of their songs are randomly integrated into a couple of my spotify playlist, so they're still relatively on my radar. Spotify does this thing where it creates a playlist for you based on artists you listen to, and I almost never listen to it because... yeah, I like having more control than that. But I was listening to it this week and a song comes on that is very clearly the lead singer of Dashboard Confessional (Chris Carrabba), but is not your typical Dashboard Confessional song. It's not emo, it's not punk... it's rock and a little rap.

At first I thought the band sold out, like The Killers or Panic! At the Disco. But it turns out that Dashboard was just featured on another artist's song. Talk about relief! Turns out I kind of like the band (nothing,nowhere). I don't usually like this degree of foul language, but they've got a good beat. So I'm not going to listen on repeat, but I've got a few more songs to work out to.

Brian and Lee talk about expectations in this episode, a really good discussion and one that we can all resonate with. Expectations are so strange in how they affect our perception of reality. Like taking a drink of something, expecting water and actually tasting something else can make it taste disgusting! Then in the next sip, when you realize what you're drinking, tastes totally fine. Or taking a bite of something expecting it to be sweet but it's actually salty! Oooh, bad surprise!

Links

Show notes

Kids these days! They have no idea. That is what we're talking about this Superhero Friday! That and so much more, like how important it is to stop and smell the colors...and take care of your health.

In This Episode

Stop and smell the colors!
Star Trek: Discovery, The Orville
Ad hoc TV viewing
Staying healthy
How Turmeric and Coconut Oil are good for us
What the Health?!

Fall Workouts

I am the master of avoiding the gym. There is nothing appealing to me about getting on a machine and sweating it out inside... or lifting weights in front of a mirror. I will do everything I can to workout outdoors. For almost 15 years, my go-to was running! I ran 4-6 miles a day, 5x a week. I never needed anything else. But as many know, I have been unable to run much anymore because of bad knees. It took a little over two years to fully transition off of running to something else that I could really throw myself into the way I was able to with running, and I've finally discovered it: jumping rope.

If you want to get a KILLER full body workout wherever you are, I highly recommend jumping rope. It is one of the best core workouts I've ever done. It tones muscles and is a great mechanism for weight loss. It is not good for building muscle, but for staying lean it has done wonders for me.

Since transitioning from running, however, I've discovered a need to be more versatile with my workout regimen. I do jump rope 3-4 times a week, but I often pair it with playing basketball or going for a walk. Other days of the week I will do yoga or do leg-centric 20-minute exercises (i.e. squat routines). I used to be super into P90X and incorporate a lot of the cardio and Kenpo routines into my living-room workouts (it does rain here from time to time).

The hardest time of year to workout is in January when it is 12 below zero and the roads are pure ice. The Frozen Tundra is no joke! I end up returning to P90X workouts during the coldest months of the year.

The hardest part with any workout is finding something that works for you. I can recommend anything, but our bodies are all different. Saving our health, like Brian and Camron talk about in this episode, is relative to everyone and it's important to not just do what everyone else does, but really pay attention to what your body likes and doesn't like. There are some foods that make us feel sluggish or lethargic and there are some foods that invigorate us... which may have the exact opposite effect on someone else.

Do you workout at home? What is your workout of choice? What sorts of things do you do in the middle of winter when you can't go outside? Let us know in the comments!

Links

84: Two Essential Character Traits with Dr. Daphne Scott Oct 02, 2017

Show notes

In this special interview installment of The Real Brian Show, we have the privilege of speaking with Dr. Daphne Scott. We know of Dr. Scott from her podcast, EIM's Inside Leadership Podcast, but there are a host of reasons she is this week's guest! From physical therapist to corporate coach, Dr. Scott brings two decades of experience to help her clients and listeners achieve success through relationship building and creativity!

In This Episode

Welcome, Daphne!
Where have you come from, where did you go?
Training with the Second City Improvisational Conservatory Program
Bad at leadership led Daphne into a deep dive of the subject
A coach is often cast as a hero
Brain challenges standing in our way to ultimate success

Character Traits

When considering a job or a position with responsibilities, there are certain character traits that necessarily go along with it. Often, I think we confuse character traits and skills; where a character trait may be "resourceful", it's skill counterpart may be "proactive". Really, the first thought that came to mind when thinking about this is the difference between being disciplined and detail-oriented. Character traits are fascinating because the same type of trait is never the same between two people. We are all so unique that we apply and carry out our traits in very different ways.

One of the points Dr. Scott makes in this interview is the fact that there are some traits, particularly around leadership, that can be learned.Just because someone is naturally bossy or naturally good at delegating doesn't make them a great leader. That boldness is a great trait to have, but unless the skills of leadership are applied, the trait of being a leader falls short of what it can be.

So listen in! Dr. Scott points out two essential character traits for leaders which are not only learnable, but unequivocally achievable. If you've ever doubted your ability to overcome some perceived vacuity, Dr. Scott will be able to encourage you to be empowered and seek after the tools that can help you build up those traits.

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