The Problem With Perfect

Latest Episodes:

How To Leave a Legacy Apr 11, 2023

Show notes

When was the last time you wrote a love letter to your family, telling them about the life lessons you've learned that you'd like to pass on? When was the last time you shared your values? Your memories? The things that you don't want your family to forget, even after you're gone?
Welcome to the second episode of our four-part series that we're calling What to Know Before You Go. In this episode, we shift gears from leaving the gift of advance directives for your families to the gift of ethical wills. These legacies allow us to impart words of wisdom and experience to those we love while sharing how we'd like to be remembered.
Join us as for an inspirational episode that helps us answer the important question, "What legacy am I leaving?"

Show Notes:
To listen to the song that inspired Robin to begin The Legacy Project:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ah1COE39ARs
Go to https://www.livingwisely.org/ for a resource kit on legacy writing

Ethical Wills: Putting Your Values on Paper, 2nd Edition

Storyworth.com

Why You (and Your Family) Need an Advance Directive Apr 04, 2023

Show notes

Death. It's the one thing we can count on and the one thing we'd like to avoid. So we try not to think about it, talk about it or plan for it.
As a result, difficult conversations go unspoken and last wishes go unknown - further complicating the emotional, stressful, and heartbreaking process of death.
In this inaugural series of the podcast, we're focusing on the critical issues we all face at some point in our lives, either personally or on behalf of a loved one. We're calling the series "What to Know Before You Go" in an effort to make a daunting subject more approachable. Each week in April, we will discuss topics designed to help us feel more comfortable and confident in facing the future.
This week, we lean into Denise's years of experience as an end-of-life social worker. In this episode, she shares everything we need to know about advance directives and the importance of not only documenting our medical preferences but also discussing them with family and healthcare professionals. It's an episode designed to empower us to do hard things and have tough conversations - knowing these are gifts we share with those we love. And it's an episode you don't want to miss.
Show Notes:
To print off a copy of an advance directive for completion:
https://missourilawyershelp.org/legal-topics/durable-power-of-attorney-for-health/

To access the Five Wishes form referenced, go to:
https://www.fivewishes.org/for-myself/

For resources on how to have caring conversations about the end of life:
https://www.practicalbioethics.org/featured-resources/caring-conversations/

To order the Go Wish cards Denise discussed in the episode, go to:
https://codaalliance.org/go-wish/

How Writing Helps Mental Health and Heals the Heart with Special Guest BJ Jewett Mar 28, 2023

Show notes

So often we look at our lives as ordinary and uneventful. We don’t see ourselves as artistic, or talented, and we question if anyone would be interested in what we have to say.

Our guest, BJ Jewett, is a gifted author and photographer who put these doubts aside and shared her talents with the world. In 2017, BJ published Letter Trees, a beautifully photographed book encouraging readers to discover all the letter trees of the alphabet while on walks in nature. In 2022, BJ wrote another book, this one very personal and poignant. In You Don’t Fall Out of the Universe, BJ shares her family’s story of grief and loss after their son, Jesse, died of cancer.

This episode is for anyone who has ever contemplated writing their own story - whether it's to process their own feelings, leave a legacy for their family, or publish their thoughts or memories for the world's consumption. As storytellers ourselves, we appreciate BJ’s vulnerability and courage as she shares her insights into the process of writing from the heart. We hope you, too, will be encouraged and inspired to take a leap of faith and gift the world with your wisdom.

Special Guest:
BJ Jewitt is the author of two books, with a third on the way. A retired registered nurse, BJ has used photography and writing as creative outlets to help make sense of the death of her young adult son.
For more of her writing, go to https://www.bjjewett.com/

Or order You Don't Fall Out of the Universe on Amazon at https://www.amazon.com/s?k=You+don%27t+fall+out+of+the+universe&crid=SEBDMQ10X60O&sprefix=you+don%27t+fall+out+of+the+universe%2Caps%2C179&ref=nb_sb_noss

Why New Beginnings Are Scientifically and Spiritually Beneficial Mar 21, 2023

Show notes

This episode marks the beginning of a new chapter for The Problem With Perfect. With Denise Bickel now a permanent co-host, we are excited to bring you Season 5 of the podcast and all that comes with the rebirth of something we love.
But the podcast isn't the only thing being renewed right now. It's officially Spring and everything is coming alive: the trees bud, flowers bloom, and green
grass appears under our feet. We anxiously await longer days, warmer weather,
and beautiful sunsets – gifts that are unearned but welcomed with open arms.
Spring is also a time of Lent for many. We spend the forty days before Easter anxiously awaiting Christ’s resurrection and promise of eternal salvation – the greatest of unearned but cherished gifts.
In this week’s episode, we share our thoughts on the wonders of Spring and dig into the connection between the scientific and spiritual benefits that the season brings with it. Not only do we marvel at the season’s gifts, but we also discuss new Spring rituals that will encourage and rejuvenate our souls and bodies.
Please join us as we Spring forward!
Show Notes:
For more information on these topics:
7 Rituals for Spring Renewal
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-flux/201303/7-rituals-spring-renewal
The Science of Wonder
https://www.mindful.org/the-science-of-wonder/
How To Take An Awe Walk
https://www.mindful.org/how-to-take-an-awe-walk/

How Do You Know When It's Time To Say Goodbye? Mar 14, 2023

Show notes

This week’s podcast is both a look back and a look ahead. As many of you know, Rachel has been on sabbatical for the past few months taking some time to prioritize her time and talents. How did someone so young get so wise? We could all use that kind of wisdom and forethought.
Join us as we catch up with Rachel to take a walk down memory lane and learn more about her plans for the future.

In addition, drum roll please, we are announcing our vision and direction for The Problem With Perfect going forward. There may even be a surprise announcement so please stay tuned to the end.

Why Do I Procrastinate And How Do I Stop? Mar 06, 2023

Show notes

Do you find yourself putting things off until the last minute? Me too. I am not proud to admit it, but I am a chronic procrastinator.
But what's the harm, anyway? How bad can procrastination be? It turns out that procrastination is connected to anxiety, low self-esteem, and depression.
So, if you're putting off doing your taxes, starting that project, or having a tough conversation, this episode will resonate with you. In it, Denise and I discuss the things people procrastinate the most and dig deep into the four main types of procrastinators. We'll also offer hope by giving specific suggestions to meet you where you're at and help you move toward a less anxious reality.
Guest Co-Host: Dr. Denise Bickel, Ph.D., MSW, LCSW
With over 20 years of counseling experience, Denise's areas of expertise include oncology, end-of-life care, and grief work. She has also been an adjunct professor at the University of Denver and a facilitator of guided meditation walks at the Denver Botanic Gardens. She's also Robin's mentor and a returning guest on the podcast.
For more thoughts from Denise, check out her blog, Words To Live By, at www.DeniseBickel.com.
Show Notes:
The Real Reason You're Procrastinating
https://www.mcleanhospital.org/essential/procrastination#:~:text=Procrastination%20is%20not%20laziness%3A%20it's,ADHD%2C%20or%20another%20underlying%20issue.
The 4 Main Types of Procrastinators and How to Not be One of Them
https://www.businessinsider.com/main-types-of-procrastinators-how-to-avoid-accountability-coaches#:~:text=They%20say%20that%20there%20are,overbooker%2C%20and%20the%20novelty%20seeker.

How Fred Parry’s Faith Can Impact Yours Feb 28, 2023

Show notes

Fred Parry enjoys being a man-about-town. As such, a lot of people think they know him. I often beg to differ.
Fred was one of my first bosses. In a city filled with journalists, he gave me my “big break” and believed in me when I wasn’t sure I believed in myself. His faith in me changed my life and faith in God changed his.
Join us for this episode as I pull back the curtain and get personal about Fred’s faith, battling his demons and how everyone can benefit from men having deeper, more accountable relationships.
And to get $25 off a ticket to the COMO Men’s Conference, go to www. COMOchristian.com and use ROBINMAY as discount code.
Special Guest: Fred Parry

Fred Parry is a Christian writer dedicated to helping men understand how a personal relationship with Christ can transform their lives while empowering them to develop more meaningful and fulfilling relationships with God, their families and other men. Parry is a former County Commissioner in Missouri and Publisher Emeritus for a group of magazines based in Columbia, Mo.

Parry is a native of Liberty, Mo., and a 1986 graduate of the University of Missouri. He began his career working for newspapers in Chicago, Washington, D.C., and Pittsburgh, Penn. He is a former member of the advertising faculty at the Missouri School of Journalism. He worked as an advertising executive for the Gannett newspaper chain before he and his wife started their own publishing company in 1994.

Fred has now spent more than 30 years in the publishing industry. He is the founding publisher of more than 15 magazines. In addition to his publishing career, Fred spent nearly 8 years as a daily radio talk show host and three years doing weekly commentaries for a local CBS Television affiliate.

Parry has written and published five Christian men’s devotionals, Walking With James: Becoming The Man God Intends You To Be, Walking With Ephesians and Walking With Matthew (Illumify Global Media) Walking with Romans and Walking With Thessalonians (Carriage House Publishers).

Parry is the founder of the annual CoMo Christian Men’s Conference which has attracted the nation’s leading pastors (Tim Tebow, Matt Chandler, Craig Groeschel, Lee Strobel, Todd Wagner, Robert Lewis, etc) to Columbia, Mo. over the last nine years. He also leads a weekly Bible study for 30 businessmen on Friday mornings.

Fred has been married to his wife, Melody for 30 years. Together, they have two grown sons, Max and Nick.

Why Taking The Trip of a Lifetime Was Worth Every Dime Feb 21, 2023

Show notes

If you had told me 29 years ago when Tom and I got married that we would get to attend the Super Bowl AND cheer our beloved Kansas City Chiefs to a victory, I would have thought that was the craziest thing I'd ever heard.
But guess what?
That's precisely what we did last week and it was an absolute dream come true!
Join us for this episode as Denise asks me all the questions about this once-in-a-lifetime experience that I will cherish forever. And be sure to listen to the end and find out what happened after we returned home that was even BETTER than the Super Bowl win.
Guest Co-Host: Dr. Denise Bickel, Ph.D., MSW, LCSW
With over 20 years of counseling experience, Denise's areas of expertise include oncology, end-of-life care, and grief work. She has also been an adjunct professor at the University of Denver and a facilitator of guided meditation walks at the Denver Botanic Gardens. She's also Robin's mentor and a returning guest on the podcast.
For more thoughts from Denise, check out her blog, Words To Live By, at www.DeniseBickel.com.

The Greatest Of These Is Love: Four Stories of Love, Laughter and Overcoming Adversity Feb 14, 2023

Show notes

Songs tell us that love will keep us together.
First Corinthians tells us love is patient, love is kind.
Hallmark tells us Valentine’s Day is a holiday replete with beautiful flowers
and romantic verses.
But what do we really believe to be true about love? Not on the one day a year dedicated to love, but on the other 364? When there are financial struggles, illness, competing careers, and babies and children demanding our time and attention? Where’s the love then?
This week's episode is a Valentine from four extraordinary couples: newlyweds, married with children, empty nesters, and lifelong lovers. In this special edition, these couples share their insight into married life at various stages. Their honesty and transparency about the blessings and challenges they’ve experienced offer something for everyone committed to loving others well.
Their stories will make you laugh, reflect, and be inspired. Enjoy!
Special Thanks to our Guests:
Maddie & Kyle Wolf (01-30)
Edvina & Aaron Leboeuf (30-46:20)
Jessie & Rick Dederer (46:20-1:10:00)
Dick and Anne Hessler (1:10:00-1:38:59)
Guest Co-Host: Dr. Denise Bickel, Ph.D., MSW, LCSW
With over 20 years of counseling experience, Denise's areas of expertise include oncology, end-of-life care, and grief work. She has also been an adjunct professor at the University of Denver and a facilitator of guided meditation walks at the Denver Botanic Gardens. She's also Robin's mentor and a returning guest on the podcast.
For more thoughts from Denise, check out her blog, Words To Live By, at www.DeniseBickel.com.

How Every Day Can Be Galentine's Day With Special Guests Kate Lunn and Jill Sartain Feb 07, 2023

Show notes

Leslie Knope, a fictional character played by Amy Poehler, brought the idea of Galentine's Day to life in a 2010 episode of Parks and Recreation. In it, she described what February 13 is truly all about: “Ladies celebrating ladies."
In true Leslie Knope fashion, welcome to the Galentine's episode of The Problem With Perfect. In this episode, Kate Lunn and Jill Sartain, friends and co-owners of the online boutique Jillian Kate, inspire us with the secret to their long-lasting, life-changing friendship. They also share how they got the idea for their business, how they keep their priorities in check, and who they credit for making their business successful. This sweet conversation will inspire you, touch you and remind you why life is better when you do it with friends.
Special Guests:
Kate Lunn and Jill Sartain became friends when they were in high school. Tethered by a love for Jesus and one another, they launched Jillian Kate in 2020 right in the middle of the pandemic. Now nearly three years later, they've learned a lot about each other, their business and how to make it all come together.
To visit Jillian Kate, go to:
https://shopjilliankate.com/ and use the special code PERFECT when you check out to receive 30% off your entire purchase!
And if you just need a laugh, check out this Galentine's Day video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pYv1zjBOMew

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