Today I am thrilled to bring you this amazing interview with my guests, a mother and daughter duo: Carey Conley and Laurel Wilson.
After losing two members of their family to suicide just three years apart – Carey's husband (Laurel's father) and Carey's son (Laurel's brother) – these two strong women chose not to just survive, but to thrive in the face of such adversity. Their mission is to help people of all ages identify their God-given purpose through Vision.
Carey and Laurel offer hope to others by helping them uncover their silver-lining perspective. When they're not at home in Oklahoma City or Scottsdale, you can find them on stages worldwide, teaching everyone – young and young at heart – that it's never too late to write down your vision and start living out your true purpose.
In this episode:
What is Your background and why is vision what you teach?
Carey: In my early motherhood I sat down with a mentor and I got clear about the details of my life. What I wanted it to look like. Where we lived, my relationship with my husband and with my kids. I thought about the career I wanted to have. I wrote a lot of different ideas. But I had a thought to teach vision and goal-setting. So I created a vision for myself and went to work creating my life around that. 8 years ago I started teaching Vision to other people.
Laurel: I grew up listening to my mom teach and talk about vision. It was one of those things where you didn’t want to admit. that your parents were right about something. So it took me a little longer to realize the importance of having a vision for your life.
I was 20 and in college when I lost my dad and went through my first big adversity. And it taught me how important it was for me to have a vision to help me to have perspective and stay hopeful and encouraged about the future.
Why Vision is Important- even (especially) after a year like 2020
With the crazy year we had in 2020, a lot of people are a little hesitant to start this year with goals, resolutions, or vision boards.
“The vision becomes the piece that gives you hope”- Laurel Wilson
Goals vs. Vision
Think 3 years out. How old will you be. Will your kids be, what stage of life are you in. Imagine fully three years out- and then you can reverse engineer.
How do you create vision when you have no idea where to start.
When you’re in the “young mom/survival mode” season of life:
Laurel- I go back to thinking 3 years ahead and what I want to create that involved my kids. What I want to model, and how I can get my kids involved in the vision as well.
Carey: I could do a whole weekend for moms on this! The very first thing I would say is learn to time block. Have dedicated time that is “mom time” other time that is “business time” or “fitness time”.
Understanding that you CAN have structure in your home. Even if you don’t think you can. Knowing that you can carve out the time you need to go after your goals and dreams.
The third thing is GIVE UP THE GUILT! The guilt is useless!This is why having a vision is so important because it anchors you and helps you navigate through that guilt and understand the WHY behind the things you are doing.
Involving your kids in your vision:
Getting your kids involved in your goals and vision really helps to combat the mom guilt. Because they can help build the vision alongside you. You are modeling good things for your kids and starting them early on creating their own vision and goals. It can be incredibly bonding for families.
A vision is the anchor for all of the storms in your life.
How often should you reevaluate your vision?
Carey: I look at my vision every year on my birthday. But a lot of it doesn’t change. I look at my core values, and design my life around those values and what is important. It is good to refresh it, rewrite it, and add new details when you need to.
Laurel: The core piece of my vision has stayed the same, but over time the details have shifting and changed.
Should you write down your vision? Should it be easily accessible?
Carey: One of the things I love about having a clear vision is that it helps you make faster decisions. You either see somethings that lines up or it doesn’t.
Writing down your vision is non-negotiable. It’s the magic.
Most people keep their visions in their heads as a “someday”: Someday doesn’t happen. Someday means nothing to me. You’ve got to WRITE IT DOWN and then you’ve got to go one step further and put a date on it. It can’t stay up in your head. There’s too much other stuff going on up there. It’s gotta come out on paper.
Is there a lot of pushback when you tell people to put dates on goals?
Carey: YES! It’s scary to lay it out. People get emotional. You touch that place of “can I really do this, and what do I have to break out of to make this happen. Who do I need to become.”
Laurel: this younger generation is really tapping into more vulnerability and really wanting to create their dreams.
A really big vision helps you make the breakthroughs that have been keeping you locked up.
Carey: The HOW shows up later. You can’t wait for the blueprint or the details. You sometimes have to step forward with faith and things will start moving for you.
What are the things I need to start right now to get clear on my vision:
Laurel: Have a good perspective. Get into a clear headspace, especially after this year. Write out a WHAT IS list instead of a WHAT IF list. You need to let go of the what if’s and lean into what is and move forward from there. You have to let go in order to move on. Get to place to be able to write your vision from a hopeful point of view vs a negative view.
We’ve learned that we don’t have control over a lot of things. But if you need something to control: have it be your perspective.
Wow. These two have for sure lit a fire under me to get my vision out of my head, written down, and to put actual DATES on my goals. I’m guessing you are feeling the same.
Helpful Links and other awesome things
you should know about:
Connect with Carey
Connect with Laurel
Get the Book: Keep Looking Up
To get more info on VIVA (Vision is Victory Academy)
Text VIVA to 26786
or find more info here.
Connect with ME on IG
Join the Positively You Community on Facebook