The Phoney & Call-y Podcast

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Episode 24: Have a Banana! (with guest Bobby Moynihan) Apr 04, 2022

Show notes

Straight away, Johnny is frozen! Can’t participate. Tony fills time artfully, like the professional he is. Getting his shit together, Johnny does some limited bitching about the computer before the Vexed Varmints move on to discuss their inconsistent dental hygiene and Johnny’s tendency to compare people to various other species of primate. They do a VERY unorthodox dentist scene, and then Bobby Moynihan scooches in to talk about VR, his enduring love of Lost, and his near-term plans to clear out his storage unit in NY. At halfway through, they realize Bobby hasn’t been recording. T&J are stunned, but they keep their cool. A triumph of a Johnny’s Game is followed by a solid wrap-up.

This episode is sponsored by Better Help, go to betterhelp.com/pc for 10% off your first month

Episode 23: There’s Nothing Worse Than a Guest! Mar 28, 2022

Show notes

The professional hosts of this podcast have decided they dislike guests. So this episode doesn’t have one! Their relief at not having to talk to a third person leads quickly to some giddy (and yes, filthy!) improv! Tony delights as Johnny describes his long-awaited Domino’s pig-out night and its related temper tantrums. Tony recounts his thrilling night watching College Jeopardy. Then, a guest doesn’t show up, and in their ecstasy, the boys do another scene! They welcome the return of Andy’s Lame, and then Tony hits his limit, gets tired, and they stop recording. This episode is lean, mean, and has two scenes!

This episode is sponsored by Better Help, go to betterhelp.com/pc for 10% off your first month

Episode 22: A Thousand Dollars Worth of Meat (with guest Flossie Arend) Mar 21, 2022

Show notes

It’s Valentine's Day and the bloom is off the rose for Johnny’s new computer! It sucks! Our Haughty Heroes are horrified at how quickly the love has faded. Moving on from the technical issues, we learn about Johnny’s successful doctor’s appointment and why Tony keeps a thousand dollars worth of meat in the freezer, at all times! They perform a very romantic Three’s Company scene. Then, Tony’s wife, Flossie Arend, sidles in for a special Valentine's Threeway! They chat about Anthony’s fascination with how similar Flossie and Johnny are, the inconvenience of other people’s weddings, and what coulda been goin’ on with that guy who killed his whole family! The enthusiasm wanes as the happy couple faces a very challenging Johnny’s Game. For some reason, the word “apoplectic” is used like three or four times in this episode.

Episode 21: Amor Fati (with guest Cipha Sounds) Mar 14, 2022

Show notes

Johnny’s got a new computer! Sure, it’s clean and pleasing now, but for how long?! The grown-men confront the dark enchantment their possessions have over them, and then Johnny shows off his partially-built birthday Lego! Soon after, Tony makes an incomprehensible gesticulation, and it confuses Johnny. They reflect on the pleasures of lurking behind hotels, and then comedian, DJ, radio host, and friend Cipha Sounds gets on the call to discuss Stoicism, suicide prevention, and how Cipha made the transition from the alluring world of hip-hop to the intensely dorky world of improv comedy. This episode is not suitable for adults.

Episode 20: I Like That We’re All Screaming Right Now (with guest Betsy Sodaro) Mar 07, 2022

Show notes

It’s Johnny’s pre-birthday, and Tony’s large gift is already causing a stir! In this episode, we learn why Tony can’t be an astrophysicist and that Johnny has never had a bad bank experience. Then, Tony proclaims them “gold-ribbon improvisers” moments before they perform a scene that is so unwieldy it has to be cut from the show! Betsy Sodaro joins the call just in time to have the whole scene recapped for her, and the tittering trio goes on to discuss Betsy’s passion for leg-oriented sports, her time workin’ the Backdraft attraction at Universal Studios, and how close they feel to one another, despite never spending that much time together. Tony tries to maintain his hyper-critical posture during Johnny’s Game, but even he must admit that the questions are pretty good this week! This episode contains a lot of talk about the show Cheer.

Episode 19: Let Them Be Upset! (with guest Paul Scheer) Feb 28, 2022

Show notes

The boys are aglow after receiving a compliment about the podcast. Then, they get into their discomfort around compliments. When Tony disrupts the chat with a bizarre side-comment, the whole thing nearly comes off the rails. But luckily, they recoup just in time for another of their irreverent, science-fantasy skits! Then Paul Scheer swings by to talk about his virtual background choices, and how their daddies used to come to their shows to watch them perform improvised sex scenes. Paul pulls no punches with his criticisms of a Johnny’s Game setup question, and it, understandably, incenses Johnny. This episode gets feisty.

Episode 18: Beautiful Body, Big Body, Little Body (with guest Shannon O'Neill) Feb 21, 2022

Show notes

Tony’s crunchin’ and munchin’ on some Goldfish! When he’s called away suddenly, Johnny fills in with a hastily-thrown-together song parody. Upon his return, the dashing duo discusses how much Johnny loves sneaking and scaring, and how often Tony gets startled and scared! Then, their brilliant and hilarious friend Shannon O’Neill comes on, and the boys demand compliments from her on their weight loss…to the point where they have to apologize and assure her that she was not brought on merely to hear about their insecurities. Then, they look back on all the disgusting things they’ve done on stage together, and how Shannon was the first to encourage Tony to do his winning Trump impersonation! The show closes with Shannon putting in a breathtaking performance on Johnny’s Game and everyone collapsing on the ground in ecstatic satisfaction.

Episode 17: Conscious Dressing (with guest Sam Griffel) Feb 14, 2022

Show notes

Excuses abound as we return to the fan-favorite segment “Fattest Friend!” This week’s winner may surprise you! Or maybe not! The baby boys discuss their lack of fashion sense, and then Sam Griffel struggles to get his headphones to work so he can join the Threeway. He ends up using his gaming headset, and they go on to reminisce about their time at The President Show, how Sam chokes when he’s teamed up with Tony in Call of Duty: Black Ops: Cold war, and why on earth Sam would take his dog to go cheer up children in the hospital. Then, Johnny’s Game is shaken to its core with the unveiling of a new points system. Will anything ever be the same again? Yes.

Episode 16: He Got Dirty (with guest Matt Besser) Feb 07, 2022

Show notes

Behold, a horrifying ordeal that begins with the fellas re-recording the start of the episode because they had a terrible, un-airable fight, the first time around. They make up and sort of blame it all on holiday stress and low, winter light. Also, Tony has been highly-frustrated, of late, by a cell phone golf game. They do a tense NORAD missile-defense scene, and then Matt Besser enters the fray to talk about fantasy football, how he doesn’t like hugs, and how HE GOT COVID ON CHRISTMAS! Tony & Johnny are beyond disgusted and make certain to let Matt know how dirty they think he is. This episode actually gets more upbeat as it goes!

Episode 15: Vamp! (with guest Paul F. Tompkins) Jan 31, 2022

Show notes

Right up top, Johnny’s lighting sucks. He struggles to get his ring light set up while Tony fills time. A quick chat about Johnny’s need for control spurs the guys to diagnose each other’s mental issues, with a high degree of inaccuracy! Then they launch into a DMV transaction scene that only these two whip-smart, comedic geniuses could pull off. Paul F. Tompkins shows up strong to the Zoom meeting by wrestling some pesky technical issues into submission. When the shit is gotten together, the trio gabs about outgrowing hometown friendships, Mr. Show, and how terrifying stand-ups can be. Then they bookend with some more technical issues. Technically? A perfect ep.

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