The Perfect Wife

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**The Perfect Wife**

This show is a selfish excuse to ask a handful of inspiring friends what they think it means to be a GREAT wife, and I can’t wait to share our conversations with you here.

About The Host: My name is Jessie Pepper and I host a podcast with my husband called Marriage is Funny (BECAUSE IT IS), and we air our dirty laundry over there because even after 9 years… we’re still figuring this whole thing out just like everybody else. Bottom line? We’ve learned that Great LOVE is better than perfect love and when things get tough — belly laughs and bear hugs make everything better.

Find out more about both shows at theperfectwife.me + meetthepeppers.com!

Latest Episodes:

TPW 05.0 | Kirsten Grove, The Fun Wife Dec 05, 2016

Show notes

Kirsten Grove and Jessie Pepper chat about everything from adoption to arguing over new furniture.

In this episode you’ll hear about:

Renovating a home together. Making jokes makes it WAY more fun, and singing through the process keeps the late nights light-hearted. Tune in to Kirsten’s snapchat to see her hilarious segment called, “Late Nights With Shane.”

First-date romance. Proof that this can be embraced whether it’s been 16 years or 16 days into the relationship. (Interestingly, this is yet another example of one of the wives I’ve chatted with who happens to be shy about eating in front of their partner on the first date. Is this a phenomenon?)

Finding “The One.” Kirsten moves to a new city on a whimsical crush, and little did she know that dreaming big would be one of the things that made Shane her main man. They’ve settled in Boise to raise their family, and her own experience proves that you can embrace nearly any town as your home, if you’re willing to put your heart into it.

Growing your family through adoption. The Groves have been so blessed by the beautiful children that have come into their world, and Kirsten trusts that God made this a reality by placing it onto her heart for a reason. Finding a partner who agreed with the decision right off the bat made it very easy to answer his proposal with an enthusiastic YES.
Venting vs. complaining. Try leading with the positive to prevent a gripe-fest from happening. Jessie opts to skip the “highs and lows” exercise, and Kirsten suggests the “sandwich method.” Either way, it can help your partner feel less piled-on if you’re in a better mood when they walk through the door.
Perpetual partnership. Acknowledging the priorities and emotions of your spouse will help solidify the commitment and prove that “you’re in it together.” The agreement here can be incredibly impactful on both your offspring and your extended family.
Facing conflict head-on. When two partners have differing conflict management styles, Kirsten recommends approaching the situation with as much patience as you can muster. We both agree that healthy communication styles can be learned as you go along, but offering each other a lot of grace is the best way to go.
Laughing like a lady. If you can make your partner giggle like a girl (whether they happen to be one, or not) it's one of the best forms of amusement that we can think of. Keeping this front of mind will be sure to make your marriage (and your whole life) a LOT more fun.

Kirsten says: “Great Love is when he knows how to hit all of my love languages in under ten minutes. In those moments, I have to ask -- God, how did I get so lucky?!”

Find out more about Kirsten and her work by visiting her online at SimplyGrove.com!

TPW 04.5 | Jessie Pepper, The Hopeful Wife Dec 03, 2016

Show notes

This episode is a quick recap of my chat with Jenna Guizar of Blessed is She.

Jenna confirmed that surrounding yourself with a strong community can be exactly what we need to provide hope for a crumbling marriage. We talked about self-worth, mental health, and pep-talks within the context of a relationship and if you absorb ANYTHING from this episode, I pray that it inspires you to go out and share hope with another wife today. :)

Don’t forget that I LOVE it when you say hello on social media while you listen: I’m @styleandpepper on all the channels and it makes my whole day to know when you’re tuning in!

Make sure you’re subscribed to the feed wherever you listen to your favorite shows, and If you’re enjoying the series, please leave a 5-star review and share this podcast with a wife that you love!

XO - Jessie

TPW 04.0 | Jenna Guizar, The Decent Wife Dec 02, 2016

Show notes

Jenna Guizar and Jessie Pepper chat about everything from cutting curfews to crumbling relationships.

In this episode you’ll hear about:

Embarrassing music preferences. From Jason Mraz to Eminem. Workout tunes that provide the best soundtrack to all of your sweat sessions.

The Love Diet. When your first date jitters give you unbelievable nausea, but then you pass the honeymoon phase and find yourself constantly binging on burritos. (Oh that's not a thing? Ok, just me then.) Jenna nibbled on chicken wings while Jessie went for an extra serving of Mongolian BBQ.

Being besties with your boo. Building a romantic relationship with a dear friend can provide a beautiful foundation for your story. (Might want to make sure both people are aware of the relationship at some point, but it's a good start.)

A gaggle of girls. The Guizars have three darling daughters, but there is a decent possibility that they’ll end up having three more! Jenna will keep us posted on whether or not they can sneak a boy in there. ;)

Laughing together. Not everyone understands how much fun it is to make fun of each other in a playful way. Jessie’s theory is: When marriages are rooted in friendship, you never have to question when is the right time to start goofing off. (Plus, we know from Marriage is Funny that it’s important to find humor in every mess.)

Being married to someone in ministry. If your partner’s identity is tied to their service or their work, it can be SO difficult when their call or career changes and they end up losing their sense of self. Individual self-worth plays a huge part in all marriages, but building each other up is the best way to strengthen that bi-directional bond.

Communal living. The "village mentality" can be so impactful, and there’s nothing like having a huge range of friends to help you raise your kids. Jenna reminds us how important it is to have friends (and BE the friend) who will hold women up when others need hope.
Bridging the gap between moms and ministry. Jenna started an organization called Blessed is She and their mission is to encourage women right where they are.
Tell people when you need help. Being vulnerable with people that you trust (or in our case: the entire world, via the internet) can bring about incredible blessings when it comes to personal growth. Remember that honesty breeds goodness, and shame cannot live in the dark. Jenna talks about what it’s like to almost give up on a crumbling marriage, but her saving grace was a pep-talk from a friend about belief and the chance to rebuild.

Jenna says: “When both of us put our own selves aside and lift up the other, that is when Great Love is magnified in our home.”

To find out more, follow Jenna on twitter and check out Blessed is She for a dose of inspiration, encouragement, and scripture.

TPW 03.5 | Jessie Pepper, The Curious Wife Dec 01, 2016

Show notes

This episode is a quick recap of my chat with Jen Pinkston of The Effortless Chic.

Jen reminded me that a slower pace of life might actually be the new status symbol, and she smartly insists that bringing a third-party into tricky conversations with your partner is a great way to keep the communication from disintegrating.

Don’t forget that I LOVE it when you say hello on social media while you listen: I’m @styleandpepper on all the channels and it makes my whole day to know when you’re tuning in!

Make sure you’re subscribed to the feed where ever you listen to your favorite shows, and If you’re enjoying the series, please leave a 5-star review or share this podcast with a wife that you love!

TPW 03.0 | Jen Pinkston, The Happy Wife Nov 30, 2016

Show notes

Jen Pinkston and Jessie Pepper chat about everything from daytime talk shows to daunting house renovations.

In this episode you’ll hear about:

Decision making. Basing big choices on a scale of priorities and the concept of a fair partnership. These moments allow you to honor the things that are most important to your spouse, and doing so can be a great way to encourage the good of the unit.

Moving and settling and temporary living spaces. Making a joint decision to live somewhere that you love is incredibly unifying. Things like “quality of life” and family time CAN be the new status symbol. We are both big fans of designing your life around however YOU define success, because this creates a ton of joy!
TV Set Love Story. Jen and Aaron met on the set of The Ellen Degeneres Show! Their love thrived in the LA sun, but now the Pinkstons are putting down roots in Austin, Texas.
Being yourself. Acknowledging the challenge of being true to who you are within the new unit you’ve created together. Strength in this area will allow you to serve and love your partner from a much more stable place.
Communicating your preferences. It’s all about delivering them in a way that is efficient and respectful. Both for the sake of getting your way but also because it’s important to be gentle with your partner. Timing of these moments can be used to your advantage, and so can bringing a mediator or even an entire community into your relationship.
Connecting during busy seasons. This gets easier with time. (Praise the Lord.) One great way to get through it is recognizing that it will eventually come to an end, and then knowing you’ll be able to reconnect when the swell has passed. Cooking dinner together can be a great way to transition from individual days to evenings as a family.
Social media struggles. Being in the same room and on social media at the same time can be a tricky thing to manage well. Jen suggests checking in with your partner sporadically, and getting involved in a playful way to avoid seeming naggy or upset.
Avoiding conflict. No matter how hard you try, it’s nearly impossible to find someone who has never hurt their partner’s feelings. Jen convinces me that the Pinkstons come very close to this qualification, but then admits that recently forgetting to compliment Aaron’s organizational skills might have accidentally ruined their streak.
Words of affirmation. Even a simple sentence of encouragement can go a long way, but Jen reminds me of a recent realization I had: it’s not enough to shower your partner with loving words, because we often forget about the times that we criticize them (without meaning to) and that ultimately drains their love-tank.
Making friends in a new city. Recognizing your life-stage and asking yourself, “where could our people be hanging out?” Flip through your mental rolodex of friends who are coupled up, and try to think of people with partners who might pair well with your own.

According to Jen, “Great Love is when both of us feel like we are being the most true version of ourself but also honoring the most true version of the other person... The place where those two things intersect is when we’re both at our best together.”

Find out more about Jen on her website The Effortless Chic, and follow along with her life as a happy wife on instagram!

TPW 02.5 | Jessie Pepper, The Semi-Independent Wife Nov 29, 2016

Show notes

This episode is a quick recap of my chat with Erin Loechner of Design for Mankind.

I'm inspired by the way she cleverly compares marriage to everyone's favorite salad-topper, and shows how epic commitment can persist even amidst a serious diagnosis.

Don’t forget that I LOVE it when you say hello on social media while you listen: I’m @styleandpepper on all the channels and it makes my whole day to know when you’re tuning in! Make sure you’re subscribed to the feed where ever you listen to your favorite shows, and If you’re enjoying the series, please leave a 5-star review or share this podcast with a wife that you love!

TPW 02.0 | Erin Loechner, The In-Progress Wife Nov 28, 2016

Show notes

Jessie Artigue and Erin Loechner chat about everything from murphy beds to brain tumors.

In this episode you’ll hear about...

Meaningful surprises. Whether it’s a bad first impression or a day-to-day squeeze in the middle of the kitchen. We’ve both learned that not all initial reactions are accurate, but being open to where life might take you can lead to some incredible gifts.
Honor + respect. Recognizing your partner's priorities and taking care not to tarnish their pride. Being a good student to learn more about what makes them tick and then actually trying not to push their buttons.
Frustration during a fight. How to keep your temper from getting the best of you while the shit hits the fan. Alternatively, saying “I don’t care” just to end an argument is nearly just as bad.
The fragility of life. Acknowledging that everything on earth is temporary to some extent, but we should not let this control our lives or our love for one another.

“The only real way to honor this life together is to not let the weight of it cripple you during the difficult moments.”

Forsaking date night. This is not as dangerous as it sounds! If it doesn’t feel like a big deal to you or your partner, it’s better to avoid the “should” and do what’s best for you.
Keeping an open mind when it comes to committing to continual love no matter who your partner evolves into as you grow together. (Hear Jessie + Gerard talk more about the “growing together” metaphor right here.)

“You have to really overcome that deep rooted belief that we’re not enough and decide that the other person loves you just the way that you are.”

To Erin, Great Love means taking care of yourselves as a unit, serving each other from a place of gratitude, and offering up the grace that comes from giving each other the benefit of the doubt.

Find out more about Erin on her website Design for Mankind, and order her book called Chasing Slow.

TPW 01.5 | Jessie Pepper, The Sidekick Wife Nov 25, 2016

Show notes

This episode is a quick recap of my chat with Liz Forkin Bohannon of Sseko Designs, and I'm inspired by her keen love of powertools and an impressive commitment to playing fair during a fight.

TPW 01.0 | Liz Forkin Bohannon, The All-in Wife Nov 22, 2016

Show notes

In this episode, you’ll hear us talk about:

Being in business together: Partnering up in work AND life can be tricky, especially when there are different personality types at play. Liz shares about how to share a vision and accept support from your spouse, all in the same breath.

“Working with your spouse is a cocktail of brilliance and humility.”

Conflict management: What to do when both partners are “escalators” and learning to trust the other person as a way to find freedom from fighting.
Big ideas: How to deal when a strong-willed woman who always bursts into the room with a big idea. Jessie and Liz come to grips with all of the ways that they are like Kramer from Seinfeld, and they recognize that it’s helpful to set up a pattern for approaching these moments with grace.
Humility: What it’s like to make business mistakes in front of your main squeeze. Witnessing each other in the work place certainly takes your relationship to the next level.
Stress therapy: Every modern woman can take care of this with a set of power tools.

“My greatest joy in life is to be Ben’s partner. Even when I mess up, at least I can say I’m all-in and he knows I’m not going anywhere.”

Sidekick Strategy: Being your partner’s biggest fan and letting them know you feel that way regularly. Make sure they know that there is no one else in the world you’d rather stand beside.
Cultivating grace: How to stick it out when Great Love feels hard to find.

“ My job is to help him become more of the man that God created him to be -- And I love being that person for him because I watch the way he approaches our marriage, and I know it goes both ways.”

Find out more about Liz at @lizbohannon + ssekodesigns.com.

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