The Paula Faris Show

Latest Episodes:

Touch Me and Tell Me How Great I Am…The Five Love Languages According to John Mar 12, 2024

Show notes

John and I are kicking off our series on relationships with someone who has been instrumental in saving ours!

Dr. Gary Chapman is joining us to discuss how his work as a counselor led him to write one of the bestselling books of all time: The Five Love Languages.

The love languages we speak—Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch—are equal in value but different in emotional impact for each of us. The Five Love Languages is a transformative tool for strengthening all your relationships by learning the “language” in which your loved ones give and receive love.

Honestly, learning one another’s love languages has been one of the best things we’ve done for our relationship, which has been on the brink at times.

You won’t be surprised to learn that John’s are physical touch and words of affirmation—or, according to him, “Touch Me And Tell Me How Great I Am.” Also, is SEX a love language? Dr. Chapman has a great response to this question that so many of us have (especially our men!).

Dr. Chapman, John, and I discuss how to figure out your loved one’s primary love language, what to do with that knowledge, and why all expressions of love start with our attitude, not emotion.

Let’s dig in and get ready to Talk About It!

Listen in to learn more :

(00:41 - 01:31) Meaningful Conversations on Parenting and Relationships

(04:26 - 05:29) Ups and Downs With Spicy John

(13:42 - 14:37) Understanding Love Languages for Stronger Relationships

(19:25 - 21:01) How our Love Languages Help Us Grow

(25:43 - 26:14) Partnering for Relationship Success

Summary

In this episode, we diving into the relationship benefits found in The Five Love Languages, how to know what our partner's primary love language is, why using your partner’s primary love language in a negative way can hurt them and harm the relationship, what it means to have an attitude of love, and how we can maintain that attitude of love even when we don’t feel like it!

Remember to subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts to hear what we’re talking about each week…

RESOURCES:

TAKE THE QUIZ

https://5lovelanguages.com/quizzes

LINK TO PAULA’S NEWSLETTER

https://www.paulafarisofficial.com/newsletter

FOLLOW PAULA ON INSTAGRAM

https://www.instagram.com/paulafaris/?hl=en

LINK TO CARRY’S NEWSLETTER

https://carrymedia.com/the-carry-all/

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Should Social Media be Banned? Thoughts on Screens and Phones… Mar 05, 2024

Show notes

This is one of the BIGGEST fights in my house and probably yours, too: social media, screens, and phones.

If you have ever wanted to throw your children’s devices right out the window (and who among us has not?!), this episode is for you!

There are so many questions surrounding phones, screens, and social media. And now, Florida has proposed legislation to BAN social media for children under 16!

So, let’s talk about that ban… how we know it’s time for our kids to have a phone…the dangers….and helpful and hopeful advice on navigating this space.

I’ve invited my friend, Brooke Shannon, and founder of Wait Until 8th, a movement to prevent children from getting a smart phone until 8th grade to the conversation. We’ll discuss safe guardrails and that proposed ban in Florida with your wildly different perspectives on it and how it would work.

Plus, the U.S. Surgeon General’s recent health advisory about the effects of social media on the mental health of teens…has it become a health issue?

Please share this with other parents….as we’re all in this together.

Life Happens. Let’s Talk About It!

Listen in to learn more :

(00:00 - 00:44) Protecting Children on Social Media

(05:40 - 06:49) Community Support for Delaying Social Media

(09:05 - 10:19) Florida's Proposed Social Media Ban

(13:10 - 13:57) Limiting Social Media in Schools

(19:57 - 21:08) Parental Rights and Social Media Controls

(23:16 - 24:09) Smartphone Logistics and Family Considerations

(29:40 - 31:11) Limiting Phone Access for Child Safety

In this episode, we delve into the proposed social media ban in Florida, the US Surgeon General’s health advisory about social media, and helpful and hopeful tips for navigating screens, phones, and social media.

RESOURCES:

SMART PHONE ALTERNATIVES (Gabb Wireless, Bark, etc)
https://www.waituntil8th.org/devices
Good digital training guides to get your child ready
https://www.waituntil8th.org/digital-training
Read more on WAIT Until 8TH
https://www.waituntil8th.org/
OK TO DELAY –another movement
https://www.oktodelay.org/
FAIRPLAY FOR KIDS https://fairplayforkids.org/
https://fairplayforkids.org/
TEEN SAFE https://teensafe.net/ (With TeenSafe, you can now easily monitor your kids' mobile phones. The phone tracker app lets you see their real-time location and know how they use their cell phones e.g. messaging, calls, apps etc.)
https://teensafe.net/
LIFE 360 https://www.life360.com/
Zigazoo—largest social network for kids under 16 https://zigazoo.com/
Also, here’s the story I did on Wait Until 8th eons ago at Good Morning America
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tH9m8uGw9rE
Why the Tampa Bay Times is sponsoring Florida’s proposed ban
https://www.tampabay.com/opinion/2024/02/09/heres-why-we-sponsored-florida-bill-ban-most-social-media-kids-under-16/

Remember to subscribe to hear what we’re talking about each week…

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Answering Your Questions about Teen (and TWEEN!) Girls with Sissy and Caroline Feb 27, 2024

Show notes

Sissy and Caroline had so much good insight for us, I knew I had to bring them on again! Sissy and Caroline are back to answer all of your questions and talk about all things tween and teen girls.

From dating and sex to devices and social media, from modesty and mood swings to anxiety and building resilience….phew, we cover a ton of ground! Nothing was off-limits in this conversation.

I’ve loved hearing from so many of you that these conversations are helping you intentionally connect with your girls. I’ve also loved hearing from parents who have been reassured that we’re not going to lose our girls, but they’ll need us in new and different ways at every age. (This has me crying tears of joy!)

I hope you listen to this episode with your daughters so that this conversation can spark your own conversations and build connection in your relationship.

Have tween and teen boys? I’ve got you! We’ll be doing something similar very soon on how we can connect with our sons in these years, so stay tuned!

MOMS and DAUGHTERS listen to this episode together!

Life Happens. Let’s Talk About It.

Listen in to learn more:

(01:01 - 01:44) Parenting Teenage and Tween Daughters

(04:50 - 06:07) Empathy and Questions for Teenagers

(11:35 - 12:38) Teenage Girls Learn Resilience Through Experience

(14:26 - 14:49) Fashion Advice and Humor

(17:11 - 18:42) Generational Differences in Phone Usage

(21:18 - 21:53) Keep Up With Kids' Technology

(25:37 - 26:38) Navigating Teen Dating and Relationships

(28:54 - 30:11) Importance of Open Communication With Teens

(46:57 - 48:53) Parenting Through Adolescent Faith Exploration

In this episode, we are digging into how to set boundaries and adjust them as our tweens and teens grow, the importance of having trusted, outside voices speak into the lives of our girls, why we should always ask questions before we jump into fixing for them, and how we can help our kids navigate friendship and faith.

LINKS:

Paula’s Personal Newsletter: http://www.paulafarisofficial.com/newsletter https://www.bark.us/learn/home/

https://teensafe.net/

https://www.life360.com/

https://primarygoals.com/teams/models/vomp/

Connect with Sissy Goff:

Sissy’s Books

https://www.raisingboysandgirls.com/shop

https://www.daystarcounseling.com/books

Sissy’s Website

https://www.raisingboysandgirls.com/

Sissy’s Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/sissygoff

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How To Connect With Your Moody Teenage Daughter (with Sissy Goff & Caroline) Feb 20, 2024

Show notes

I am so thrilled to welcome child and adolescent therapist Sissy Goff to the show today! This one is special because Sissy and I were joined by my teen daughter, Caroline.

And before you react to the title (“How To Connect With Your Moody Teenage Daughter”), Caroline came up with it! She’s here to share what she wants every parent of teenagers to know.

I’ve been sooo expectant for this conversation because, honestly, I’ve felt helpless at times on how to connect with my daughter. Connection came easy to us when she was younger, but it feels like it’s harder to know how to do that as she grows up, starting in the tween years (ages 8-12).

Our goal as parents is to raise our kids to spread their wings and fly. I know that, and I’m also sad because I feel like I’m losing her. Both are true.

So, how do we connect? How do we get them to put their phones down or leave their rooms? How can we, as parents, do better in supporting our teens?

That’s why I invited Sissy! She has counseled hundreds of girls and their families through all ages and stages, and she’s here to give us some hope, some guidance, and the assurance that we are not alone.

We dig into what Sissy calls “the narcissistic years,” the anxiety our girls are carrying, the mother-daughter relationship dynamic, and practical advice and ideas for connecting and supporting our daughters.

Parents, I encourage you to LISTEN (or watch) with your daughters!

Life Happens. Let’s Talk About It.

Listen in to learn more:

(00:00 - 00:28) Finding Confidence and Identity in Adolescence

(03:06 - 04:18) Understanding and Supporting Teenage Girls

(07:32 - 08:46) Growing Confidence and Autonomy in Adolescence

(11:52 - 12:34) Parenting and Growth

(17:13 - 18:30) Shared Activities for Parent-Child Bonding

(33:12 - 34:06) Enneagram Personality Test and Q&A Session

In this episode, we are diving into the good news and bad news of what Sissy calls “the narcissistic years” for girls, the difference between being needed by our kids and being loved by them, two recommendations for understanding and parenting our teens, and why being your daughter’s safest place means she may take things out on you.

LINKS

Paula’s Personal Newsletter:

http://www.paulafarisofficial.com/newsletter

The Enneagram Test

https://www.truity.com/test/enneagram-personality-test-paged

Sissy’s Books

https://www.raisingboysandgirls.com/shop

https://www.daystarcounseling.com/books

Sissy’s Website

https://www.raisingboysandgirls.com/

Sissy’s Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/sissygoff

Remember to subscribe to hear what we’re talking about each week!

--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/the-paula-faris-show/message

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Losing Stephen and Parenting Through Loss with Allison Holker Boss Feb 13, 2024

Show notes

Our hearts broke for Allison Holker Boss when her husband, Stephen Twitch Boss (a fixture on The Ellen DeGeneres Show and an incredible dancer), took his own life a little over a year ago.

Allison instantly became a single mom of three, navigating the unimaginable.

So, how do we talk to our children about grief and loss? Whether it’s losing a loved one, the loss of a relationship, or any of us trying to find our way in a season of hurt.

Allison recently became a judge on FOX’s So You Think You Can Dance. And I think you’ll be encouraged to hear how she’s doing, how she’s leading her children through loss and grief, what she tells Stephen every night, and why she’s decided to release the kids' book they’d been working on before his death, called KEEP DANCING THROUGH.

This is part of a parenting series on the show, where I’m talking about the things you’re talking about and tackling what you’re in the thick of. Life Happens. Let’s Talk About It.

Listen in to learn more:

(03:50 - 04:56) Year of Challenge, Growth, and Gratitude

(08:52 - 10:24) Build a Strong Future Foundation

(16:17 - 17:49) The Therapeutic Power of Dancing

(23:07 - 24:02) Embracing Emotions and Human Vulnerability

In this episode, we delve into accepting our purpose and being fully ourselves, how we can support and care for loved ones who are walking through grief, and navigating complex conversations about loss with our kids while holding space for our own pain.

LINKS

Get a copy of Allison’s Book TODAY!

https://amzn.to/3SZKS7L

Allison's IG PAGE:

https://www.instagram.com/allisonholker/

Paula’s Personal Newsletter:

http://www.paulafarisofficial.com/newsletter

Remember to subscribe to hear what we’re talking about each week…

--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/the-paula-faris-show/message

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How to Build ATOMIC Habits in our Kids with James Clear Feb 06, 2024

Show notes

I honestly can’t believe how lucky we are to kick off Season Two with James Clear, author of Atomic Habits!

Atomic Habitsis one of the best-selling books of all time, with more than 15 million copies sold to date. James doesn’t do many of these interviews, so I’m fired up that he’s joining us today.

Get ready to take some notes as James shares how we can build Atomic Habits in our kids and our parenting, plus how becoming a father (he has two littles) totally rocked his world. This episode is the beginning of a series on parenting, and James is the perfect person to help us kick off this series.

Why a parenting series? There’s one thing that I’m committed to doing better this season, and that’s LISTENING to you and the things you’re talking about! That’s why in Season Two, we’re doing a series on #Parenting, #Relationships, and #WorkLifeBalance.

Let’s Talk About It!

(00:01) - James's transformation through small, consistent habits

(09:28) - Parenting Habits and Book Sales

(17:40) - Creating an Optimal Environment Principles/Strategies

(25:03) - Teaching Habits and Mindset Shifts

(30:31) - Building Effective Habits and Promoting Consistency

(38:03) - How We Can Build Better Habits

In this episode, we are diving into the power of being 1% better each day, how your home environment influences your family’s habits (and how to optimize your space!), and why we should focus on the process, not results.

LINKS

James’ book, Atomic Habits:

https://a.co/d/9lWCyQe

James’ Masterclass:

https://www.masterclass.com/classes/small-habits-that-make-a-big-impact-on-your-life

James’ New App- ATOMS- for building good habits and breaking bad ones:

https://atoms.jamesclear.com/

Paula’s Personal Newsletter:

http://www.paulafarisofficial.com/newsletter

Remember to subscribe to hear what we’re talking about each week…

--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/the-paula-faris-show/message

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Things I’m Learning About Feeling Unqualified Jan 30, 2024

Show notes

(Nothing makes me feel less qualified than scrolling social media and seeing how everyone else has it together.) In this episode, I share my vulnerable moments of feeling less than, how we can avoid the trap of comparison, and the three questions we should ask ourselves to get out of our head.

--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/the-paula-faris-show/message

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Things I’m Learning About Trying New Things Jan 23, 2024

Show notes

(I had $400 in my business account and wasn’t sure what to do next. In this episode, I share how stressful it’s been being an entrepreneur, how I’ve found we can find the courage to try new things, and when we should keep going.

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Things I'm Learning About Relationships Jan 16, 2024

Show notes

(It was probably my worst moment as a parent–my daughter and I got into a terrible argument, and I said things I’m not proud of. In this episode, I’m sharing the most important thing to have in all your relationships. And the one question to ask your loved ones when you feel the relationship is stuck.

--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/the-paula-faris-show/message

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Things I'm Learning As A Mom Jan 09, 2024

Show notes

I got a dreaded text message from my kid’s teacher saying he’d done something really inappropriate at school. In today's episode, I’m sharing what I’m learning about motherhood and why it’s so important to let our kids fail, plus how I struggle with wanting to do too much for them

--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/the-paula-faris-show/message

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