The Paula Faris Show

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America’s record low birth rates: should we care? Featuring Sociologist Dr Jennifer Glass Oct 15, 2024

We’re having fewer and fewer kids in the U.S. In fact, we’ve reached record-low numbers. But here’s the question: should we care?

I am talking to sociologist Dr Jennifer Glass to explain the trend and reveal the most puzzling piece about it all.

Dr Glass is a Sociology Professor at the, University of Texas and the Executive Director at the Council on Contemporary Families. This is her life work. She’s done the research, commissioned the studies, looked at the trends and will break it all down.

As she tells me, we have a system where “mom just picks up the slack”. But, moms are fed up and starting to say NO.

We can’t call ourselves a family-friendly country if our policies don’t support the family and if money and power continue to go to those who ignore their families.

So, what’s our path forward?

Let’s Talk About It.

Listen in to learn more:

* Low Birth Rates and Family Policy | 0:00:52 - 0:02:36

* Global Concerns About Declining Birth Rates | 0:07:51 - 0:09:29

* Support for Families | 0:14:26 - 0:15:47

* Rethinking Office Metrics for Remote Work | 0:20:20 - 0:21:32

* Tax Pinch vs Social Insurance | 0:23:12 - 0:23:47

* Shared Responsibility for Family Leave | 0:26:30 - 0:27:28

* Lack of Family-Friendly Policies | 0:31:36 - 0:32:36

* American Individualism Impact on Children | 0:35:57 - 0:37:21

SUMMARY:

In this insightful episode, Paula and Dr. Stephanie Glass highlight the challenges families face due to inadequate family-friendly policies, comparing U.S. approaches to those in Europe. Dr. Glass emphasizes the need for systemic changes to bolster families and the economy, offering hope through collaborative efforts and community-driven solutions.

LINKS:

Learn more about Dr. Stephanie Glass

Council on Contemporary Families

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What We Can Learn From Australia About How Supporting Families Grows the Economy with Prime Minister Scott Morrison Oct 08, 2024

I get so fired up talking about this issue. We talk a lot about how we’re pro-family in this country. But, when it comes down to it, do America’s policies actually support families?

We’ve made this political.. And that’s where we’ve gone wrong because this is an ECONOMIC issue. Yes, you heard me right, this is all about the economy.

As Australia’s former Prime Minister, Scott Morrison will tell us, when families are supported through family-friendly policies, the economy booms. Not only that, families are strengthened, and we close the gender equity gap.

There is a lot of work to be done. But, let’s talk about where to start and why everyone wins when families are supported.

Life Happens. Let’s Talk About It.

Listen in to learn more:

* Evolving Australian Policies | 0:08:22 - 0:08:43

* Economic Impact of Subsidized Childcare | 0:10:46 - 0:13:19

* Strengthening Families Through Economic Support | 0:24:05 - 0:25:41

* Comparing Family Support Systems in Australia | 0:31:01 - 0:32:07

* Enriching Childcare Through Education | 0:33:47 - 0:35:05

* Supporting Families Through Advocacy and Collaboration | 0:40:14 - 0:41:16

SUMMARY:

In this episode, we are digging into why childcare is an economic issue, the importance of supporting families at the policy level, the number one barrier for women in the workplace in the United States, and how it benefits employers to have family friendly policies.

LINKS:

Pick up a copy Scottt’s new book :

Plans For Your Good: A Prime Minister's Testimony of God's Faithfulness

https://amzn.to/3zOsIPn

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https://www.instagram.com/motheruntitled/

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HOT TOPICS: Why Women Are Leaving the Workforce with Neha Ruch from Mother Untitled Oct 01, 2024

We’re talking hot topics throughout Season Three of The Paula Faris Show and one of the hottest topics is this: Women are leaving the workplace because it simply doesn’t work for them. 1 in 3 women are planning on “pausing” and nearly half are considering downshifting, to lean into family life.

What’s behind this trend? And, how can we support women throughout their entire journey of kids and career?

I’ve invited Neha Ruch, founder of Mother Untitled, to the conversation to talk about why women are leaving the workforce, plus how we can reframe the way we think and talk about “at-home” parents.

Motherhood Untitled is the leading platform for ambitious women who are leaning into family life. Neha and I have a very honest and spirited conversation about the pros and cons of leaving the workforce and how we can put an end to the #MommyWars.

Life Happens. Let’s Talk About It.

Listen in to learn more:

(0:00:00 - 0:03:00) Community Resilience and First Responders

(0:03:28 - 0:06:28) Challenges Faced by Working Mothers

(0:06:36 - 0:09:36) Reframing Stay-at-Home Motherhood

(0:20:11 - 0:23:11) Navigating Career Pivots After Motherhood

(0:38:47 - 0:41:47) Ending the Divisiveness in Parenting Choices

SUMMARY:

In this episode, we are diving into reframing the role of a stay-at-home parent, the many multi-faceted reasons a parent may choose to pause or downshift their work outside the home, the crux of the mommy wars and how we can solve them, the power of choice and advocating for better support for every parent, and the motherhood penalty women face in the workforce.

LINKS:

Connect with Neha

Get Neha’s Book, ‘The Power Pause’

https://amzn.to/3zDUFsZ

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LET'S TALK MENOPAUSE: Nutrition, Exercise, and Supportive Partners with Dr. Jen Ashton and my husband, John Sep 24, 2024

I AM DONE COUNTING CALORIES.

The majority of your questions throughout this series have been about nutrition and exercise, so, let’s talk about how we can best prepare our bodies for this time in our lives, beginning in our 30’s. The pursuit of skinny is killing us. We need to be STRONG.

I somehow convinced my husband John to be part of this conversation–I can’t wait for you to hear his take. It’s important that our partners know what we’re going through and how they can support us.

John and I are joined by a dear friend from my past life in TV News, Dr. Jen Ashton, who recently left ABC News as their Chief Medical Correspondent and has since founded Ajenda, a women’s health company.

She’ll give us tips on how we should move, what we should eat, plus the magic formula to getting our daily protein!

Life Happens. Let’s Talk About it.

Listen in to learn more:

01:25 - 02:33 Navigating Menopause

12:30 - 13:20 The Impact of Hormones on Women

17:51 - 18:58 Nutrition Education Discrepancy in Medicine

25:01 - 27:25 Nutrition and Moderation in Eating

28:46 - 30:09 Role of FDA-approved Weight Loss Medications

33:44 - 34:37 Double Standard on Dad Bods

36:34 - 39:03Maximizing Fitness With Variety and Consistency

40:33 - 42:13 Free Fitness Tips and Tricks

43:25 - 46:21 Importance of Being Strong

SUMMARY:

In this episode, we are delving into nutrition for perimenopausal and menopausal women, why protein is so important and how to maximize the nutritional benefits, exercise that supports the female body before, during, and after menopause, and the importance of partners understanding what is happening to a woman’s body during menopause.

RESOURCES:

ARMRA for hair loss: Use code PAULAFARIS for 30% off your subscription!

ALLOY Menopause Telehealth (use my code: PAULA42103 for $25 off)

Get Dr Jen’s Newsletter

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Win a copy of Dr Haver's book

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LET'S TALK MENOPAUSE: YOUR Questions Answered by Dr. Mary Claire Haver (Part 2) Sep 17, 2024

You’re going to want to take a lot of notes because Dr Mary Claire Haver is back and she’s answering all YOUR questions about perimenopause and menopause.

She’ll tell you where you need to start, how to find the right doctor, and what tests to ask for so that you can be armed and ready to get the help you need. Plus, she shares the TWO questions you must ask your doctor.

This is part of our month-long series on perimenopause and menopause. It’s time to feel like ourselves again!

Life Happens. Let’s Talk About It.

Listen in to learn more :

02:04 - 03:42 Navigating Perimenopause and Menopause FAQs

09:40 - 11:23 Understanding Menopausal Weight Gain

22:18 - 23:06 Vitamin Supplements for Menopause Symptom Relief

27:43 - 28:34 Genetics and Menopause Symptom Disparities

34:30 - 35:56 Navigating Menopause and Health Testing

SUMMARY

In this episode, we are digging into perimenopause and menopause symptoms, types of hormone replacement therapy and how to know if hormone replacement therapy is right for you, options if you cannot take (or don’t want to take) estrogen, making informed decisions about perimenopause and menopause care, the impact of nutrition as women go into menopause, and advice for younger women as they think ahead about perimenopause.

Find a menopause-trained doctor

The Pause Life-Dr Haver's website

Shop my TV clothes on The Saved Collection

Follow Dr Mary Claire Haver on Instagram

ALLOY Menopause Telehealth (use my code: PAULA42103 for $25 off)

Win a copy of Dr Haver's book

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LET'S TALK MENOPAUSE: The Shocking Reasons Your Symptoms are Dismissed with Dr. Mary Claire Haver Sep 10, 2024

There’s a reason why your symptoms are getting dismissed, why you’re told: “Don’t blame it on your hormones.” Maybe you’ve been called “lazy” or been told that “it’s all in your head.”

Today’s guest, Dr. Mary Claire Haver, is THE leading voice on menopause and wrote the #1 New York Times bestselling book, The New Menopause.

Dr. Haver will join us for two episodes, including next week’s, in which she answers all the questions that you sent me.

But, this week, she’s going to explain what’s happening in our bodies, the truth about that landmark study from 20 years ago that scared us away from estrogen therapy, and the shocking reasons why the medical community has long dismissed our symptoms.

Life Happens. Let’s Talk About It.

Listen in to learn more :

(03:51 - 04:39) Perimenopause Symptoms and Experiences

(13:00 - 13:48) Diagnosing Perimenopause Through Blood Work

(15:38 - 16:50) The Neglect of Menopause in Medicine

(19:12 - 20:18) Lack of Menopause Training in Healthcare

(26:47 - 28:04) Hormone Therapy for Perimenopausal Symptoms

(28:29 - 30:22) Rethinking Menopause and Women's Health

In this episode, we are diving into how menopause is defined medically, what the process of perimenopause looks like in our brains and bodies, when and how women experience perimenopause symptoms, the truth about hormone replacement therapy, and why so many physicians are dismissive of the concerns of women as we age.

LINKS:

Dr Mary Claire Haver’s Book

Dr Haver on Instagram

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LET'S TALK MENOPAUSE: Not Feeling Like Yourself Anymore Sep 03, 2024

I haven’t felt like myself in almost 15 years. In my 30’s, I started noticing significant changes to and in my body, yet I’ve been told by just about every doctor that my blood work is normal and I’m “fine”. Here’s the thing: I don’t feel fine.

And I bet you don’t, either.

This is my most requested series to date: a conversation about menopause, perimenopause, and not feeling like ourselves anymore.

I’ve invited experts, friends, and my husband to the conversation, and we’re answering all the questions you submitted, so that you can feel hopeful, maybe for the first time in a long time.

In this episode, my friends Kim and Patrice share their real experiences about what’s been happening to their bodies, why they don’t feel like themselves, and how the medical community has dismissed them.

If you’ve been dismissed or felt helpless, you’re not alone. But know this: help is on the way through this month-long series.

Life Happens. Let’s Talk About it.

SUMMARY:

In this episode, we are digging into the crazy symptoms of perimenopause and menopause, our experiences of bringing our concerns to our doctors and being dismissed as “fine”, how we can advocate for ourselves as women, and why the menopause conversation is so important, not only for us but for our daughters.

LINKS:

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Let’s Talk College: Why College Isn’t for Every Kid with Carlos Whittaker Aug 27, 2024

I can’t think of a better way to close out our college series than with a conversation about WHO our kids want to be rather than WHAT they want to do. Our kids are more than their college degree if they even choose to go to college.

Let’s face it: the conversation about college wasn’t even a thing until roughly 150 years ago. You’ve probably heard me share through this series that my mom didn’t go, and her parents didn’t graduate from high school. My father was the first of his six siblings from a Lebanese immigrant family to graduate from college.

These days, there’s so much pressure on our kids to figure it all out. We’re insinuating that what they do is more important than who they are. I’ve gotta ask: whatever happened to raising good humans?

I’ve invited my friend, Carlos Whittaker, a popular podcaster and author, as well as a dad of two college grads to the conversation for an honest conversation about how we can take back the narrative of raising good humans, who understand that WHO they are is so much more important than WHAT they do.

And, wait till you hear Carlos’ shocking admission about college–a twist I didn’t see coming!

Life Happens. Let’s Talk About it.

Listen in to learn more :

(00:00) Raising Good Humans Without College

(05:24) Navigating Choices in Higher Education

(13:01) Preparing Kids for Adulting

(16:24) Navigating College and Life Choices

(26:30) Reconnecting With Humanity

(36:19) Understanding Menopause Changes

In this episode, we are digging into the college experience and the transition to adulting, why high school performance doesn’t always indicate college success, how we can relieve some of the pressure our teenagers experience in figuring out what they want to do, helping our kids identify the gifts they have that will carry through different seasons of life, and how we can be an example for our kids when it comes to trying something new.

LINKS

Carlos on Instagram

Carlos’s new book

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Let’s Talk College: Taking a Gap Year and Why the Admissions Process Has Gone Mad, featuring my daughter Caroline and Becky Sabky, Dartmouth’s former College Admissions Director Aug 20, 2024

It wouldn’t be a series on college if I didn’t invite my high schooler to the conversation, along with a former Ivy League Admissions Director.

Caroline and I are joined by Becky Sabky, who spent years as Dartmouth’s Director of Admissions and explains why she’s a fan of the gap year.

Becky shares her insider insights into the admissions process (and how it’s gone mad), plus answers your questions and Caroline’s. She’ll also outline helpful tips to help us on our journey of determining if college is right for our kids and how to find the right schools.

And wait until you hear about the most powerful letter of recommendation she ever received and the surprising person who wrote it. (It brought us to tears!)

This is a must listen for every parent …

Life Happens. Let’s Talk About it.

Listen in to learn more:

(00:00) Navigating the College Admissions Process

(05:37) Prioritizing High School Over College

(09:02) Preparing for College

(20:57) Navigating Choices as a Family

(28:48) Navigating Options and Admissions Rejections

(36:46) Exploring Gap Years

(43:11) Navigating Financial Aid Decisions

(53:50) Maximizing College Opportunities for Success

(58:54) Fostering Identity in College-Bound Students

In this episode, we are delving into the family aspects of making college decisions, understanding the college admissions process, the two biggest mistakes Becky sees students and families make, the surprising place you should look to get an inside view of campus life, and how to find the right school.

Resources:

Learn More About Becky Sabky

https://beckysabky.com/

Read Becky’s book

FISKE Guide to College

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Let's Talk College: The Emotions of Dropping Your Kid Off At College with Comedian Chip Leighton of The Leighton Show Aug 13, 2024

Every year around this time, we see or hear about parents dropping their kids off at college. Not sure about you, but it DOES ME IN.

In this month-long series about college, I’m covering it from many angles, including whether or not it’s worth it, where to start and if it’s right for your kid, plus answering all the questions you sent me.

This week, we’re getting a little levity with comedian Chip Leighton of The Leighton Show. If you haven’t seen his hilarious content about “funny texts from your teens and college freshman”, you’ve got to give him a follow.

Chip, a dad of two, joins John and I to talk about the process of applying to college and the emotions he did NOT expect when he dropped his son off at college.

He also tells us about his upcoming book, “WHAT TIME IS NOON: HILARIOUS TEXTS, RIDICULOUS FEEDBACK, AND NOT-SO-SUBTLE ADVICE FROM TEENAGERS”, which we’ll be giving away later this month.

Life Happens. Let’s Talk About It!

LISTEN IN TO LEARN MORE:

(00:00) College Parenting Humor and Heartache

(02:58) Navigating TikTok Success and Parenting

(14:35) The Key to Letting Go

(22:37) Parenting College-Bound Teens

(34:04) College Admissions Insights

In this episode, we explore Chip’s experience navigating the wide range of emotions that come with dropping your kid off at college, his best advice for parents when kids are applying to colleges, and the three main areas where high school and college students seem to struggle the most.

CHIP LEIGHTON ON INSTAGRAM

CHIP’S BOOK

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Let's Talk College: Making a Case For and Against College with New York Times Money Columnist Ron Lieber Aug 06, 2024

Season 3 of the podcast is here and I’m honestly more excited about this season than any other. Because every single episode is a topic/conversation that YOU requested.

We’re kicking it off with a month-long series on COLLEGE, where we’re talking to experts and parents about what one college specialist has called “The most emotionally fraught decision many families will ever make.”

How do you know college is even right for your kid? WHEN should you start saving? Is it even worth it or necessary, anymore?

According to the US Census, 62% of US workers do NOT have a college degree and only 47% of Americans say it’s worth it, but only if you don’t have to take out any loans.

Ron Lieber, the New York Times’ Money columnist, has been writing about this topic for decades. He’s also a dad, dropping off his eldest daughter at college this fall.

Ron helps us to untangle this complex puzzle of college and he says it all begins with our WHY.

Life Happens, friends! Let’s Talk About It!

Listen in to learn more :

(00:00) Is College Worth It? Pros and Cons

(04:57) Navigating the College Decision Process

(17:50) College Decision Framework and Gap Year

(30:53) Considering Alternatives to College Costs

(39:12) College Financial Planning

(43:46) Navigating Community College and College Costs

In this episode, we are diving into the four main reasons for choosing college, the truth about statistics surrounding college degrees in the workforce, key conversations to have as a family before making college decisions, and tools for estimating what it will actually cost to send your kid to college.

RESOURCES/LINKS:

Ron’s Merit Aid Course

Ron’s Book -The Price You Pay For College

The Net Price Calculator

Common Data Set

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SEASON 3 : Talking About The Things You Want To Talk About! Jul 31, 2024

You’ve probably heard or watched your fair share of podcasts…

Let me tell you why this one is different: because I’m only talking about the things you want to talk about.

This season—Season 3…every single episode and conversation, something YOU requested…

If you’re talking about it in your home, at your dinner table, with your friends…at work, or maybe even at the gym, we’re talking about it on the show. And I will always keep it real and authentic.

If you’re new, here's an introduction: I'm Paula Faris…. I spent 25 years in TV News, including anchoring GMA and co-hosting The View…before founding CARRYMedia a few years back as an advocate for working moms and families.

And I’m a MOM of three…so I’m going through this with you.

This podcast, this show is all about the things you, as parents, are talking about:

Work life balance, relationships, parenting…

If you’re talking about it, I’m talking about it.

Join me every Tuesday…along with my occasional guest co-host and husband, John…who always has a unique take on things.

Don't forget to subscribe! Join the conversation, and tell us what you want to discuss.

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TREY KENNEDY “SCHOOL’S OUT FOR PARENTS–Why baby gear is impossible to assemble Jul 30, 2024

We’re wrapping our “School’s Out For Parents” series on a comedic note, with comedian Trey Kennedy. John and I had the chance to see Trey perform on his comedy tour and so much of his material is about being a new dad. We’re recapping what Trey says about how fatherhood has changed his life, what it’s like marrying your opposite and how impossible baby gear is to assemble (we’ve all been there!).

E5 Trey Kennedy: LISTEN to the full episode here

E5 Trey Kennedy: WATCH the full episode here

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JESSE PALMER : SCHOOL’S OUT FOR PARENTS–How Jesse Palmer Has Prepped For Fatherhood Jul 23, 2024

John has been a Jesse Palmer fan for a long time and can testify to what a great human being he is. I worked with Jesse during one of his many TV stints (he worked at Good Morning America while I was there), and he’s genuinely one of a kind…he’s also a new dad. We’re bringing you our favorite part of this Season One episode, where Jesse talks about those first-time dad jitters, plus how he’s become one of the most versatile hosts on TV.

E4 Jesse Palmer: LISTEN to the full episode here

E4 Jesse Palmer: WATCH the full episode here

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JAMES CLEAR : SCHOOL’S OUT FOR PARENTS–James Clear’s Top Habit For Raising Kids Jul 16, 2024

One of John’s all-time favorite books is Atomic Habits, by James Clear. And, he says it wasn’t until my conversation with James from Season Two that he realized how those principles translate to parenting. Want your kids to be on fewer screens this summer? We’re bringing you our favorite parts of that episode and how you can build strong habits (and mindsets) in your kids this summer.

E3 James Clear: LISTEN to the full episode here

E3 James Clear: WATCH the full episode here

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WHOOPI GOLDBERG : SCHOOL’S OUT FOR PARENTS–How Whoopi Got Her Nickname! Jul 09, 2024

John can testify firsthand how far Whoopi Goldberg and I have come in our friendship. Rocky, at first, we were dear friends despite our many differences. But our most memorable part of this conversation with Whoopi is when she talks about the many odd jobs she worked to get her break in acting, her journey as a single mom, and how she got the nickname “Whoopi.”

E2 Apple Podcasts URL (link to original episode): https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/whoopi-goldberg-on-why-we-got-along-and-how-we-worked/id1707980698?i=1000631579316

E2 YouTube URL (link to original episode):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ke67s8wCb30

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ROB THOMAS : SCHOOL’S OUT FOR PARENTS–MatchBox 20’s Rob Thomas Gives His Best Life Advice, But Worst Parenting Advance Jul 02, 2024

John and I are recapping the very first episode of this podcast, with MatchBox 20’s Rob Thomas, where he talks about his son (yes, he has a kid!), how they came up with the name MatchBox 20 and according to him, his “best life advice, but worst parenting advice.”

Episode1 Apple Podcasts URL (link to original episode): https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/rob-thomas-on-matchbox-20-parenthood-and-new-music/id1707980698?i=1000630013177

Episode 1 YouTube URL (link to original episode): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p9srkftyT5U

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SCHOOL’S OUT FOR PARENTS! Jul 01, 2024

It’s summer, and SCHOOL IS OUT FOR PARENTS.

Join John and I every week in July as we talk about our favorite moments from the podcast…and recap our most memorable episodes. We’re giving you an inside look into the guests and conversations…from their best (and worst) parenting advice, how to get kids off screens this summer….to the stories of them becoming parents.

SCHOOL IS OUT FOR SUMMER!

Only on The Paula Faris Show.

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Paula and John ASK US ANYTHING Part 2 - Moving to a Small Town and How We Get Through Tough Times Jun 25, 2024

John and I are back to answer your questions, which ranged from how we got through our tough times to why we moved from NYC to small-town South Carolina and how we disagree in a healthy way.

As always, we’re talking about the things YOU want to talk about.

Listen in to learn more:

(00:00) Navigating Family Disagreements and Life Transitions

(11:05) Handling Marriage Challenges and Building Unity

(19:37) Our Love Story

SUMMARY:

In this episode, we are digging into how we made the move from NYC to South Carolina, how we have gotten through the tough times in our marriage, what to do when you disagree with your partner about how to run your family, and some fun things like dream vacations and favorite date nights.

LINKS:

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Paula and John ASK US ANYTHING Part 1 : Toxic work, saving our summer and advice for our kids Jun 18, 2024

John is always surprised by how many questions we get when we do these ask us anything episodes. And not just that, they’re almost always our most popular episodes! So much so, that we are doing a two-parter!

Today, we’re answering your questions about toxic work environments, whether we’re done having kids, our best life advice for our kids and what is SAVING US THIS SUMMER as our children are out of school and we’re working from home.

As always, we’re talking about the things YOU want to talk about.

Life Happens, friends! Let’s Talk About It!

RESOURCES:

Listen in to learn more:

(00:00) Summer Survival Guide for Parents

(11:17) Navigating Relationships and Parenting Advice

(18:59) Toxic Work Environments and Family Judgement

(26:43) Navigating Family Relationships

In this episode, we are diving into a resource that is saving our summer as work from home parents (it’s free and can save yours, too!), what we want to tell our kids as they leave the nest in just a few short years, when to leave a toxic work environment, what to do when you disagree with family about how you’re raising your kids, and how we really feel about NYC.

LINKS:

SAVOR SUMMER FREE GUIDE -https://carrymedia.com/savor-summer/

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Shawn Johnson and Andrew East: The Olympics, Life with Littles and Youth Sports Jun 11, 2024

This was such a fun conversation catching up with Olympic Gymnast Shawn Johnson and her husband, Andrew East, as we talked about The Olympics, life with littles, and youth sports.

Because the Olympics start NEXT MONTH, we had to park there for a bit and Shawn shared something about the Olympics and the athletes that truly shocked not just me, but Andrew, as well.

It’s so much fun for me to talk to parents with littles, and wow, are they in the thick of it, with THREE kids under the age of 4? I can’t wait for you to hear what’s saving them in this season, how they’re supporting Olympic athletes who are parents, and their really unique take on youth sports.

Life Happens. Let’s Talk About it!

RESOURCES:

Listen in to learn more:

(00:00) - Life With Littles and Olympics

(13:19) - Parenting Perspectives on Gender Differences

(17:53) - Importance of Kids Sports Participation

(23:13) - Parenting, Youth Sports, and Relationship Dynamics

(37:12) - Challenges in Supporting Families

(42:45) - Olympics Excitement and Parenting Advice

SUMMARY

In this episode, we are digging into the ins and outs of parenting little kids of both genders, preventing burnout and encouraging our kids in sports, how proactive counseling has been beneficial as individuals and as a couple, and the heart behind Shawn and Andrew’s launch of the Moment Makers childcare initiative.

LINKS:

LAST MINUTE FATHER’s Day gift ideas:

CHARCOAL steak rub

ARMRA– 30% off with CODE: PAULAFARIS

Shawn ON IG

Andrew on IG

SIGNUP FOR PAULA’S NEWSLETTER

LINK TO CARRY’S NEWSLETTER

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Our Ongoing Journey to Being Equal Partners At Work and At Home Jun 04, 2024

It’s the most vulnerable John and I have ever been about our 25+ year relationship, as we talk about the tensions we’ve navigated in our marriage and how we’ve fumbled our way to being equal partners, at home and at work.

The journey to true partnership hasn’t been easy and, at times, has been clumsier than clean.

In this conversation, you’ll hear about the scary and supportive decision John made for me early on and how we’ve figured out a way to share the load at home, which has been our BIGGEST source of tension. (That reminds me, who is cooking dinner tonight??)

If you didn’t love John already, you’re going to love hearing his heart and journey of how he’s been a true partner in every aspect.

Plus, we discuss some of those antiquated phrases like “stay at home” and “breadwinner”, that just need to go…

Life Happens. Let’s Talk About It!

RESOURCES:

Listen in to learn more:

(00:00) Equal Partnership in Work and Life

(04:09) Gender Roles and Partner Support

(14:52) Navigating Career Changes and Sacrifices

(26:18) Household Partnership and Communication

(32:59) Living With Three Kids and Olympics

SUMMARY

In this episode, we are delving into the importance of having a partner who is your biggest cheerleader, the disservice we do to both men and women when we box each other into specific roles, why the 1950s dynamic many of us have romanticized may not be as ideal as we thought, and a method for sharing the tasks of the home that has been a lifesaver for John and I.

LINKS:

The shirt I’m wearing is SOLD OUT but here is a similar option - https://amzn.to/4aOHD8K

WIN THE FAIRPLAY BUNDLE AND SIGN UP FOR PAULA’S NEWSLETTER

https://www.daystarcounseling.com/

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Answering Your Questions About Tween and Teen Boys, PT 2 May 28, 2024

Therapist David Thomas is back, answering all your questions about TWEEN and TEEN boys!

Your questions ranged from gaming, discipline, ragey hormones, and phone use to porn, substance use, and body image. Phew! We covered so much.

David, the host of the Raising Boys and Girls podcast and the Executive Director of Daystar Counseling, will help you navigate these years and give you SO MUCH HOPE.

Share with anyone who could use some insight into tween and teen boys. They’re precious but so misunderstood.

Life Happens. Let’s Talk About It.

Listen in to learn more:

(10:42 - 11:32) Consequences of Phone Misuse

(18:25 - 19:50) Supporting Boys Through Peer Pressure

(29:51 - 30:51) Addressing Pornography and Male-Female Relationships

In this episode, we are diving into healthy boundaries on gaming and technology, why helping our kids regulate is the first step of discipline, consequences that make sense (besides just taking away screens!), body image conversations with our boys, and helping our sons navigate through instead of numbing out when things get tough.

Resources:

CONNECT WITH DAVID:

FOLLOW DAVID/DAYSTAR ON INSTAGRAM:

https://www.instagram.com/raisingboysandgirls/

DAVID’S BOOK RAISING EMOTIONALLY STRONG BOYS:

https://www.amazon.com/Raising-Emotionally-Strong-Boys-Tools/dp/0764239988

DAVID'S PODCAST - https://www.raisingboysandgirls.com/podcast

Here’s a great phone contract to sign with your kids from WAIT UNTIL 8th.

https://static1.squarespace.com/static/58938b9fbebafb25099e8c5b/t/654cfadfc2beb7065a3dbb16/1699543775246/Wait+Until+8th+Family+Phone+Plan.pdf

https://www.daystarcounseling.com/

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Making Sense of Tween and Teen Boys (with author and counselor David Thomas) Part One May 21, 2024

To be honest, I’ve had a difficult time connecting with my boys. At times, I’ve wondered, and you may have, too, “Is anything connecting?” On top of that, my teen son recently told me that I don’t understand him. I know so many of you are right there, too. That’s why we’re talking about it.

David Thomas, the Executive Director of Daystar Counseling is joining the conversation to help us make sense of tween and teen boys. (I have cried tears of joy and relief since talking with him!)

This is the first of two episodes in which we’ll discuss what’s happening in the boy brain, their different stages of development, how we can best support them, and why we need to extend their runway to age 25.

David also hilariously explains what happens to their collective IQ when a group of adolescent boys gets together and why they only seem to open up at night. (It’s a thing!)

This conversation is setting up next week’s episode, in which we will answer all your questions about tween and teen boys in an insightful Q&A with David.

Life Happens. Let’s Talk About It.

Listen in to learn more:

(00:00 - 00:26) Developmental Differences in Adolescence

(01:32 - 03:15) Understanding Tween and Teen Boys

(09:23 - 10:59) Parenting Through Adolescent Development

(14:20 - 15:25) Understanding Adolescents Through the Enneagram

(19:15 - 20:20) Boys, Pornography, and Parental Supervision

(21:29 - 22:28) Stages of Adolescent Development

(28:51 - 30:16) Navigating Motherhood With Steadiness and Support

SUMMARY:

In this episode, we discuss how to communicate with tween and teen boys in a nonthreatening way, the developmental differences between boys and girls, how we can best support and nurture our boys' unique wiring, why ages 13-15 are so tough for teen boys and their parents and hope for the future of our relationships with our sons.

LINKS:

CONNECT WITH DAVID:

FOLLOW DAVID/DAYSTAR ON INSTAGRAM:

https://www.instagram.com/raisingboysandgirls/

DAVID’S BOOK WILD THINGS:

https://www.amazon.com/Wild-Things-Art-Nurturing-Boys/dp/1414322275

LINK TO STEPHANIE’S WEBSITE:

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Three Steps to Creating the Life You LOVE May 14, 2024

One of the scariest, yet best things our family did was moving from NYC to a small town in South Carolina in 2020. Has there been a lot of GAIN in our life because of it? Absolutely. But, there’s also been a lot of things we’ve GIVEN UP because of it.

We’ve created a life we love and my guest today, Stephanie May Wilson, is going to take us through three steps to help you create a life you love, as well. She’s even written a new best-selling book about it!

Stephanie is doing just that in her own life, moving her young family to Spain (wait until you hear why!) to create a life they love. It’s a decision that’s both scary and exhilarating.

How often do we get ourselves twisted up making a decision we think will please someone else, or living another life that’s not authentic to us?

Stephanie has four words for all of us: YOU GET TO DECIDE.

Friends, we get to decide. Yes, there will be gain, as well as giving up. But, we get to decide.

Listen in to learn more:

(6:04 -9:37) Childcare Costs and Women in the Workforce

(9:38 - 12:46) Defining Life Moments Before Age 35

(13:21 - 14:34) Pressure of Turning 30 (or 40, 0r 50)

(16:56 - 17:49) You Get to Decide

(17:50 - 19:23) Three Things To Quiet the Noise and Find Out What You Want Out of Life

(21:23 - 22:51) When Our Choices are Limited by Circumstances

SUMMARY:

In this episode, we are delving into the pressures of building a career and a family at the same time, the power of making decisions (even when our choices are limited by our circumstances), 3 things you can do to quiet the noise and figure out what you want out of life, and the hard reality that even the best choices will come with sacrifice.

LINKS:

https://stephaniemaywilson.com/

LINK TO STEPHANIE’S BOOK:

https://www.amazon.com/Create-Life-You-Love-Outside-ebook/dp/B0CCV1RMLV

LINK TO STEPHANIE’S PODCAST:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/girls-night-with-stephanie-may-wilson/id1278993781

LINK TO JESSICA’S WEBSITE

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Should You Give Your Kids A Safe Space To Drink? May 07, 2024

We’re answering your questions about teen drinking and substance abuse because it’s a topic that you’re asking us to talk about and a topic that is causing a lot of tension in your homes.

I remember taking my first drink when I was five. My dad gave me a sip of his beer, and I loved it but never abused it growing up. Conversely, John distanced himself from alcohol until he was in his 20s because of an alcoholic grandfather. So, out of the gate, we’re approaching this subject from different perspectives.

Because we wanted to stick to the facts and the hard questions on this topic, we’ve invited Jessica Lahey, an author and expert on it, to the conversation. She’s a recovering alcoholic and has been researching and writing about it for over a decade.

We’re going to tackle all your questions: Should you give your teens a safe space to drink? What is it doing to their brains? What are the real numbers? And we’re going to bust some myths about it in the process.

Life happens, friends. Let’s talk about it.

Listen in to learn more :

(00:40 - 01:39) Mother's Day Gift Planning With Paula

(05:33 - 07:21) Parenting and Substance Abuse Prevention

(08:37 - 09:53) Substance Use Risk and Adolescence

(15:08 - 16:09) Trends in Adolescent Substance Use

(25:40 - 26:54) Concerns About Adolescent Vaping and Addiction

(29:25 - 31:05) Parenting and Conflicting Views on Alcohol

(32:52 - 34:08) Parental Approach to Underage Drinking

(36:18 - 37:49) Teen Substance Abuse Risks and Facts

In this episode, we are digging into why age matters when it comes to substance use and its effects on the brain, how substances have changed from when we were growing up, the statistics on substance use in teens and young adults, and why providing a “safe place” for teens to drink may have different results than you might think.

LINKS

https://www.jessicalahey.com/

Mother’s Day Giveaway with ABLE

Mamas, our team at CARRY™️ is giving away a bundle of our favorite things that go in The CARRY ALL bag (the ultimate working mom bag, our collaboration with ABLE )

Not only can you get 30% off the bag and ABLE’s entire site using the code CARRYMOM30 (through May 8)…

10 OF YOU ARE WINNING THIS BUNDLE

-Owala water bottle (because there’s an interior water bottle holder in the bag!)

-GOODR Sunglasses gift card

-SIMPLIFIED Planner from their new spring line

-ABLE Leather conditioner to keep your bag beautiful

-Signed copies of Paula’s books– “WHO Do You Want to Be When You Grow Up” and “You Don’t Have To CARRY It All”

TOTAL = $175 VALUE

HOW DO YOU ENTER?

Anyone who has ordered the bag from March through May 8 is automatically entered to win. We’ll do the rest! We have your contact information and will contact the winners by May 10.

Purchase your bag today! https://bit.ly/4dqGTsR

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The Sandwich Generation: What To Do When You’re Caring For Your Kids and Your Parents Apr 30, 2024

I’ve been pretty open about caring for my aging mother while juggling a family of five. There’s actually a term for this stage of life-- when you’re caring for your kids and your parents. It’s called ‘The Sandwich Generation’ when you’re sandwiched between caring for your kids and your parents.

When I heard your similar stories and learned that so many of you are in the thick of this season, I knew we had to talk about it. And I knew there was only one person we needed to talk to.

Jessica Kim is a mom of three and a fellow mompreneur who cared for her parents in her home until they passed away. In 2018, she founded IANA Care because she experienced firsthand how isolating, overwhelming, and unsupported this time of life can be. (IANA=I Am Not Alone)

Caring for our parents is an honor, but it can also be a big stressor. I hope this conversation helps you navigate what to do when caring for your kids and parents. And, more importantly, I hope you know you’re not alone in it.

Life Happens. Let’s Talk About It.

Listen in to learn more:

(09:13 - 11:25) Selling the Family Home Emotional Journey

(15:49 - 16:34) Acknowledging the Role of Caregiver

(28:46 - 30:00) Support for Caregivers

In this episode, we discuss the importance of naming and defining our role as caregivers, why caregiving does not have to be all or nothing, two questions to ask as you decide what to delegate, why caregivers burn out, and what we can do about it, and some practical tools to help ease the load on your caregiving journey.

LINKS

Find out more information about IANA -

https://ianacare.com/

Link to Paula's newsletter

Follow Paula on Instagram

Link to Carry's Newsletter

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The #1 Reason Your Kid Should Play Youth Sports with Husband John Apr 23, 2024

I’m not sure we’ve had more interest in any other topic than the one we’re going for today. We’re talking YOUTH SPORTS: the #1 reason your kids should play, how to NOT be one of those crazy sports parents, and whether youth sports have gone too far.

It’s a big topic to tackle (no pun intended), for sure. But one that we’re all very passionate about.

There’s a reason 70% of kids quit sports by the age of 13: the pressure, intense parents, and unrealistic expectations.

In fact, there’s a bit of tension in our own home about how far is too far. We’ll talk about how we’ve navigated it, answer some of your biggest questions, and explain why we believe every kid should play youth sports.

You’ll also enjoy hearing John’s take on all this, as he's coached college, high school, and AAU basketball and was a college basketball All-American (which is super hot).

Life Happens. Let’s Talk About It.

Listen in to learn more:

(00:00 - 00:40) Parents' Expectations in Youth Sports

(03:29 - 03:48) Sports-Loving Duo Met in College

(07:58 - 08:24) Coaching Youth Basketball Lessons

(10:46 - 11:53) Qualities of an Exceptional Athlete

(18:36 - 20:08) High School Athletes and Sports Chances

(26:02 - 27:01) Perspective on Letting Kids Compete

(28:56 - 29:51) Year-Round Travel Sports Specialization

(35:14 - 36:16) Individualized Support for Children

(38:31 - 39:17) Connecting With Teen Boys

Summary:

In this episode, we explore the benefits of youth sports that shape our kids long after the ball stops bouncing, what it means to keep our expectations realistic as parents, how to encourage and support our kids without pushing them too hard or too far, and how to navigate the pressure of intense sports schedules as a family.

LINKS:

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Why Mario Lopez is a Strict Parent Apr 16, 2024

Mario Lopez joins me to talk about parenting, marriage, and how turning 50 really messed with him.

The “Saved By The Bell” alum and Access Hollywood host says his favorite role is family man. I was honestly a little surprised, in a good way, to hear he’s a strict and hands-on parent.

I loved getting to know Mario and hearing how much he adores his wife of 10+ years, as well as how they navigate their relationship while raising three children.

Mario and I also share a love for The Boys & Girls Clubs of America. Mario spent a lot of time at his local club growing up, and I’ve been a longtime supporter and Trustee of the BGCA.

You’re going to love seeing a new side of AC Slater, um, Mario. And hear his hot take on all the things we’re talking about as parents.

Life Happens. Let’s Talk About It!

Listen in to learn more:

(03:16 - 04:01) - Mario Lopez - Marriage and turning 50

(07:24 - 08:34) Parenting in the Digital Age

(18:22 - 19:24) Life-Giving Activities and Passions

(21:28 - 22:12) Upcoming Episode – The Youth Sports Debate + Paula vs. John

In this episode, we are diving into the importance of being present for our kids, why being a strict parent is not a bad thing, the thoughts and feelings that come up with midlife and turning 50, and how to prioritize your partner in the midst of raising a busy, active family.

PAULA’S KIDS BOOK, which 100% benefits the Boys and Girls Club of America

MARIO LOPEZ ON INSTAGRAM

https://www.danharris.com/

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Dan Harris on What to Do When Your Career Conflicts with your Family Apr 09, 2024

He’s one of my favorite humans, and I refuse to censor him; that’s why this conversation is spicier than usual. Dan Harris was my "work husband" for a long time at Good Morning America, where we co-anchored the weekend edition of GMA.

A few years ago, Dan made a bold and scary decision. One that caused him much anxiety. He walked away from ABC News to spend more time with his family.

So, what do you do when your career and family don’t align? When it conflicts with who you want to be?

Dan talks about how he wrestled with the decision, why he ultimately walked away, and the extreme pressure most men feel to provide.

Today, you’ll find Dan working from home on his 10% Happier podcast and meditation app and enjoying his existence as an “ex-anchorman.”

Life Happens. Let’s Talk About It!

Listen in to learn more :

(00:37 - 01:24) “Spicy” Work-Life Balance With Dan Harris

(06:27 - 07:38) Challenges in Starting a Business

(09:41 - 10:36) ABC News Support for Book

(16:26 - 17:46) A Father's Relationship With Nine-Year-Old Son

(19:56 - 20:58) Paula’s First Day School Absence and Being Set Free From Guilt

(28:05 - 29:55) Managing Stress and Self-Compassion

(35:46 - 37:03) Finding 10% Happier

Remember to subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts to hear what we discuss weekly.

RESOURCES:

Connect with Dan Harris

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How To Ditch The Guilt Of Being A Working Parent with Jon Acuff Apr 02, 2024

This may have been one of the biggest AHA moments I’ve had as a parent. So much of the guilt I’ve carried as a parent has been regarding work and missing important moments.

My dear friend Jon Acuff, an author/speaker and one of the quippiest humans you’ll meet, will tell us how we can DITCH THE GUILT of being a working parent. Even if our job stinks.

Had it not been for Jon, I’d have absolutely melted when I recently missed my kids’ first day of school because of work. I would have called myself a “bad mom” and lamented to my family about how awful I felt. But because of Jon, not only did I not carry any guilt, but my kids were actually cheering me on!

It boils down to how we talk about it (kids have these things called “mirror neurons”) and whether we invite our family into our work. I can’t wait for you to hear this conversation and find the freedom I’ve found.

Life Happens. Let’s Talk About It.

Listen in to learn more :

(01:06 - 02:39) Ditching Working Parent Guilt

(06:28 - 07:35) Impact of Parental Attitudes on Work

(12:25 - 13:08) Impact of Mirror Neurons on Parenting

(18:04 - 18:33) Demonstrating Persistence in Imperfect Job

(24:19 - 25:39) Changing Mindset Through Positive Reflection

(29:53 - 31:15) Loneliness Epidemic and Isolation Supernova

(34:23 - 35:07) Work-Life Integration and Career Decisions

Remember to subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts to hear what we’re talking about each week.

RESOURCES:

ALL ABOUT JON

https://jonacuff.com/

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The ONE Thing You Must Have In Any Relationship With Dr. Henry Cloud Mar 26, 2024

This is a deeply personal episode as John and I chat with a world-renowned expert about the ONE thing all relationships need: TRUST.

Dr. Henry Cloud is a clinical psychologist, beloved by millions for his New York Times’ bestselling books on boundaries and trust.

You may know that John and I were separated for a time in our marriage, and the trust we had was broken. So, how did we repair it? Can trust always be rebuilt? How do you know when it’s time to walk away?

Today, we’re talking about it.

Dr. Cloud, John, and I discuss why trust is the most important aspect of any relationship, a framework of questions we can use to know who to trust and how to build it, what to do when trust has been broken, and knowing when to walk away.

Life Happens. Let’s Talk About It.

Listen in to learn more :

(00:30 - 01:56) Improving Relationships Through Proactive Communication

(06:00 - 06:54) How The Podcast Is Bringing People Together

(10:03 - 10:54) Building Trust in Relationships

(17:01 - 18:26) Attunement and Motive in Relationships

(37:01 - 37:29) Work Life Balance Discussion

In this episode, we are diving into why “believing the best” and “trusting until there’s a reason not to” aren’t the best ways to approach trust, the relationship between our motives and trust, how forgiveness and trust are related but different, and why being careless is a good thing when it comes to trust.

Remember to subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts to hear what we’re talking about each week…

RESOURCES:

https://www.drcloud.com/

Dr. Henry Cloud’s website: https://www.boundaries.me/

Dr. Cloud’s book on Trust: https://www.drcloud.com/books/trust

https://www.fairplaylife.com/

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The #1 Issue That Strains Most Relationships with Fairplay’s Eve Rodsky Mar 19, 2024

This is the #1 strain on most relationships…and is a tough conversation. It's so triggering that most of us don’t have it.

So what is it? The household labor. Who is doing what around the home? We don’t know how to talk about sharing the load without triggering or nagging our partner.

So, I’ve invited Eve Rodsky, an expert and NYT best-selling author of Fair Play, to the conversation. Eve’s book became a documentary that has now become a movement. She is saving relationships with her three-step approach to having these tough conversations.

We can’t invalidate the importance of talking about this because it is such a stressor and strain on relationships. So much so, 25% of couples end up divorcing because of those little things–the sponge left in the sink, the garbage not being taken out. Why? Because it starts to invalidate the other person.

This is an episode you’ll want to listen to with your partner!

Life Happens. Let’s Talk About It.

Listen in to learn more :

(00:37 - 01:53) Sharing The Household Load in Relationships

(05:12 - 06:23) Leaving Over Blueberries

(13:26 - 15:00) Improving Relationships With Fair Play

(19:17 - 20:14) Creative Tooth Fairy Parenting Trick

(23:12 - 24:22) Meal Planning and Communication in Parenting

Remember to subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts to hear what we’re talking about each week…

RESOURCES:

Connect with Eve and FairPlay

https://www.fairplaylife.com/the-cards

https://www.fairplaylife.com/documentary

https://5lovelanguages.com/quizzes

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Touch Me and Tell Me How Great I Am…The Five Love Languages According to John Mar 12, 2024

John and I are kicking off our series on relationships with someone who has been instrumental in saving ours!

Dr. Gary Chapman is joining us to discuss how his work as a counselor led him to write one of the bestselling books of all time: The Five Love Languages.

The love languages we speak—Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch—are equal in value but different in emotional impact for each of us. The Five Love Languages is a transformative tool for strengthening all your relationships by learning the “language” in which your loved ones give and receive love.

Honestly, learning one another’s love languages has been one of the best things we’ve done for our relationship, which has been on the brink at times.

You won’t be surprised to learn that John’s are physical touch and words of affirmation—or, according to him, “Touch Me And Tell Me How Great I Am.” Also, is SEX a love language? Dr. Chapman has a great response to this question that so many of us have (especially our men!).

Dr. Chapman, John, and I discuss how to figure out your loved one’s primary love language, what to do with that knowledge, and why all expressions of love start with our attitude, not emotion.

Let’s dig in and get ready to Talk About It!

Listen in to learn more :

(00:41 - 01:31) Meaningful Conversations on Parenting and Relationships

(04:26 - 05:29) Ups and Downs With Spicy John

(13:42 - 14:37) Understanding Love Languages for Stronger Relationships

(19:25 - 21:01) How our Love Languages Help Us Grow

(25:43 - 26:14) Partnering for Relationship Success

Summary

In this episode, we diving into the relationship benefits found in The Five Love Languages, how to know what our partner's primary love language is, why using your partner’s primary love language in a negative way can hurt them and harm the relationship, what it means to have an attitude of love, and how we can maintain that attitude of love even when we don’t feel like it!

Remember to subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts to hear what we’re talking about each week…

RESOURCES:

TAKE THE QUIZ