The One You Feed | Personal Growth, Emotional Resilience & Purpose

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The Freedom of Sobriety with Veronica Valli Feb 01, 2022

Show notes

Veronica Valli is a former psychotherapist who now works as a sobriety coach. With almost 20 years of experience, Veronica has helped thousands of people live happy, healthy lives and reach their full potential by being alcohol-free. She is the co-host of the popular Soberful podcast and has been the keynote speaker at annual conferences including Women for Sobriety and Soberistas.

In this episode, Eric and Veronica discuss her book, Soberful: Uncover a Sustainable, Fulfilling Life Free of Alchohol.

But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you!

Veronica Valli and I Discuss The Freedom of Sobriety and…

Her book, Soberful: Uncover a Sustainable, Fulfilling Life Free of Alcohol
That alcoholism is just a symptom of a deeper malaise
Her history with drugs and alcohol and how she got sober
The experience she had with drug-induced psychosis
Believing she had a very rare problem when everyone else was fine
How and when she discovered that she wasn’t alone in how she felt
Emotional unmanageability vs. emotional mastery
That behavior is the truest manifestation of how someone feels – we behave how we feel
The way our culture has normalized abnormal drinking
The question, “would my life be better if I wasn’t drinking?”
When you’re spending most of your time arguing with yourself about whether or not you have a problem with drinking, you’re missing out on the real and good stuff of life, including your own growth and discovery
Toxic positivity
Feeling comfortable in our own skin and having appropriate emotional responses to events
Emotional sobriety
The value of consistently having a framework in life
What to do if sobriety meetings feel overwhelming

Veronica Valli Links:

Veronica’s Website

Facebook

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If you enjoyed this conversation with Veronica Valli you might also enjoy these other episodes:

The Magic of Being Sober with Laura McKowen

The Joy of Being Sober with Catherine Gray

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Marilyn Nelson on Her Beautiful and Powerful Poetry Jan 28, 2022

Show notes

Marilyn Nelson is an American poet, translator, and children’s book author. She is a Professor Emeritus at the University of Connecticut and the former poet laureate of Connecticut.

In this episode, Eric and Marilyn discuss several of her poems and the inspiration and meaning behind them

Marilyn Nelson and I Discuss her Beautiful and Powerful Poetry and…

Her book, How I Discovered Poetry
“Mississippi” poem
Her book, A Wreath for Emmett Till
Her use of the unique poetry form of heroic crown of sonnets
“Rosemary for Remembrance” poem
“Let Me Gather Spring Flowers for a Wreath” poem
“Like His Gouged Eye” poem
How poetry comes out of silence and leads us back to silence
A life well lived includes the gifts of silence, contemplation, and self knowledge
How we need to make an effort to find silence in a noisy world
Her book, Carver
“Professor Carver’s Bible Class” poem
Her book, Snook Alone, the story of a dog

Marilyn Nelson Links:

Marilyn’s Website

Facebook

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If you enjoyed this conversation with Marilyn Nelson you might also enjoy these other episodes:

Roger Housden

Ellen Bass

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Johann Hari on Stolen Focus and Attention Jan 25, 2022

Show notes

Johann Hari is a writer and journalist. He has written for the New York Times, Le Monde, the Guardian, and other newspapers and his TED talks have been viewed over seventy million times. His work has been praised by a broad range of people, from Oprah Winfrey to Noam Chomsky to Joe Rogan.

Eric and Johann discuss his book, Stolen Focus Why You Can’t Pay Attention and How to Think Deeply Again

Johann Hari and I Discuss Stolen Focus and Attention and…

His book, Stolen Focus Why You Can’t Pay Attention and How to Think Deeply Again
His experience of spending 3 months with no internet or smartphone
The negative effects of consuming too much of social media
How the evidence is showing we are in an attention crisis
The deep forces at work that are damaging our attention
Understanding the two levels of response to the attention crisis; individual and collective
Cruel optimism is offering a simple solution to complex problems that may not work
The alternative to cruel optimism is bringing awareness to the many layers of the problem
How the human brain can only think about one thing at a time
The negative effects of multitasking, or the switch cost-effect
The debate between being “pro” tech and “anti” tech
The damaging effects of the current business models of social media designed to steal people’s attention
How technology could be used to heal and aid your attention rather than steal it
How the current model of economic growth contributes to dwindling attention
His thoughts on the need for an attention movement to resist the forces invading our attention

Johann Hari Links:

Stolen Focus Book Website

Johann’s Website

Twitter

Instagram

When you purchase products and/or services from the sponsors of this episode, you help support The One You Feed. Your support is greatly appreciated, thank you!

If you enjoyed this conversation with Johann Hari you might also enjoy these other episodes:

Johann Hari (2015 Interview)

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Joanna Macy on Work That Reconnects Jan 21, 2022

Show notes

Joanna Macy is an environmental activist, author, a scholar of Buddhism, general systems theory, and deep ecology. She has written and co-authored many books, including translating much of Rilke’s work

Eric and Joanna discuss her translations of Rilke along with her important “Work That Reconnects”.

Joanna Macy and I Discuss her Work That Reconnects and…

Her book translation, Letters to a Young Poet by Rilke
The joy she experienced translating the work of Rilke with her coauthor Anita Barrows
Having patience, curiosity and learning "to live the questions now"
Asking ourselves how can we trust and be trusted
Her important work called "The Work That Reconnects"
Her three visions of living
"Business as Usual" refers to the growth economy and capitalism
"The Great Unraveling" refers to the world losing its coherence
"The Great Turning" is the slowing down the destruction of the world and building new ways of doing things
Her important activist work
Knowing what we can control, but still caring about what we can't control
How this work is a "celebration of the awareness of the great reciprocity at the heart of the universe"

Joanna Macy Links:

Joanna’s Website

Work That Reconnects

When you purchase products and/or services from the sponsors of this episode, you help support The One You Feed. Your support is greatly appreciated, thank you!

If you enjoyed this conversation with Joanna Macy you might also enjoy these other episodes:

Curiosity and Activism with Sophia Bush

The Questioning Mind with Stephen Mitchell

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Emma Gannon on Community and Connection in an Online World Jan 18, 2022

Show notes

Emma Gannon is a bestselling author, speaker, novelist, and the host of the number 1 creative careers podcast in the UK called “Ctrl Alt Delete”.

Eric and Emma discuss her latest book, Disconnected: How to Stay Human in an Online World

Emma Gannon and I Discuss Community and Connection in an Online World and…

Her book, Disconnected: How to Stay Human in an Online World
The belief that everyone is creative and need to feed their creativity
The joy and challenge when your creative work becomes your paid work
How our online and offline behaviors and interactions are often not aligned
Connection and how she compares humans to trees
The power of community and connection, both online and in-person
Noticing when spending too much time online leads to emotional disconnection
Understanding self-sabotage and noticing the feelings associated with that behavior
Finding the balance of striving to be successful and happiness
Her thoughts on cancel culture
Her first novel, Olive
The shame and guilt that women often feel for their life choices

Emma Gannon Links:

Emma’s Website

Twitter

Instagram

When you purchase products and/or services from the sponsors of this episode, you help support The One You Feed. Your support is greatly appreciated, thank you!

If you enjoyed this conversation with Emma Gannon, you might also enjoy these other episodes:

How to Become Unlonely with Jillian Richardson

How to Find Joy and Community with Radha Agrawal

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Catherine Gray on The Lasting Joy of Being Sober Jan 14, 2022

Show notes

Catherine Gray is a Sunday Times Bestselling author of five books, including debut smash hit The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober. She’s sold well over a quarter of a million books and her books have now been translated into nine languages. She’s been sober since 2013. Catherine has also written about being single later in life and learning to appreciate the ordinary.

Eric and Catherine discuss her latest book, Sunshine Warm: Unexpected Sober Joy That Lasts

Catherine Gray and I Discuss The Lasting Joy of Being Sober and…

Her book, Sunshine Warm: Unexpected Sober Joy That Lasts
The power of getting more specific with your gratitude lists
Being several years removed from addiction and in the advanced stages of recovery
Understanding that addiction doesn’t have to define you, but that it’s always there
No longer defining herself as an alcoholic after several years of sobriety
Addiction can be the difference between what you intend to do and what you actually do
How addiction is a spectrum and not black or white
The issues with labeling yourself as an addict
What matters most is asking yourself if your life would be better without the substance or behavior
The challenge with addictions that are considered socially acceptable
How most experts agree there isn’t such a thing as an addictive personality
Some people may have addictive tendencies based on various traits
Understanding that our perception of ourselves is what shapes our reality

Catherine Gray Links:

Catherine Gray

Twitter

Instagram

When you purchase products and/or services from the sponsors of this episode, you help support The One You Feed. Your support is greatly appreciated, thank you!

If you enjoyed this conversation with Catherine Gray, you might also enjoy these other episodes:

Catherine Gray (2018 Interview)

Catherine Gray on Unexpected Joy (2019 Interview)

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Emily Balcetis on How to Focus and Accomplish Goals Jan 11, 2022

Show notes

Emily Balcetis is an Associate Professor of Psychology at New York University. She is the author of more than 70 scientific publications and her work has been covered in Forbes, Newsweek, Time, National Public Radio, Cosmopolitan, GQ, and many others. She has also received numerous awards for her work.

Eric and Emily discuss her book, Clearer, Closer, Better: How Successful People See the World

Emily Balcetis and I Discuss How to Focus and Accomplish Goals and…

Her book, Clearer, Closer, Better: How Successful People See the World
Her decision to tackle learning to play drums
The four tools of accomplishing a goal
What it means to materialize a goal
How our brains can’t be trusted to accurately assess our progress toward our goal
The importance of writing down and tracking progress
Figuring out what we want to accomplish AND creating a plan of action
Foreshadowing obstacles that might get in our way and how you’ll deal with them increases your chances of success
The value of narrowing your focus of attention
How time is a big determinant of what goals we set and whether we reach those goals
Finding ways to connect your current self with your future self can make it easier to make tougher choices that lead to better outcomes later
How it sometimes makes sense to have a “wide bracket” or broader perspective
The power of framing and how what we see predicts what we do

Emily Balcetis Links:

Emily Balcetis

Twitter

When you purchase products and/or services from the sponsors of this episode, you help support The One You Feed. Your support is greatly appreciated, thank you!

If you enjoyed this conversation with Emily Balcetis, you might also enjoy these other episodes:

How to Change with Katy Milkman

Behavior Change with John Norcross

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Regina Louise on Strategies for Unconditional Self-Love Jan 07, 2022

Show notes

Regina Louise] is an American author, child advocate, and motivational speaker, who is best known for successfully navigating through more than thirty foster home placements as a ward of the California Juvenile Court system.

Eric and Regina discuss her book, Permission Granted: Kick-Ass Strategies to Bootstrap Your Way to Unconditional Self-Love

Regina Louise and I Strategies for Unconditional Self-Love and…

Her book, Permission Granted: Kick-Ass Strategies to Bootstrap Your Way to Unconditional Self-Love
Growing up in difficult circumstances and still feeling her worth
How we can all benefit from a cleared-out heart
Learning to grow through what we go through
Understanding that you can’t change the past, but you can reclaim your dignity and self-worth
Learning to be with the difficult feelings inside of us
Understanding that the tragedy she endured was not personal
How she learned to protect and value herself when her caregivers couldn’t
Her introjections leading to her growth
The tendency to feed the “less than” of herself
Taking responsibility for her own healing
Creating distance and making meaning of her past experiences

Regina Louise Links:

Regina’s Website

Twitter

Instagram

When you purchase products and/or services from the sponsors of this episode, you help support The One You Feed. Your support is greatly appreciated, thank you!

If you enjoyed this conversation with Regina Louise, you might also enjoy these other episodes:

Radical Self Love with Sonya Renee Taylor

Perfecting Self Love with Scott Stabile

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Stephen Guise on How to Form Elastic Habits Jan 04, 2022

Show notes

Stephen Guise is an international best-selling author, blogger, and entrepreneur. His books have been translated into 17 languages, including his latest book, Elastic Habits: How to Create Smarter Habits That Adapt to Your Day.

Eric and Stephen discuss his unique approach to creating good habits that are adaptable to your life and unique circumstances.

Stephen Guise and I Discuss How to Form Elastic Habits and…

His book, Elastic Habits: How to Create Smarter Habits That Adapt to Your Day
How bad habits fulfill some needs
An elastic habit is one that creates flexibility and more points of progress
How flexibility is strength when it comes to obstacles
Lateral flexibility is having several different options to achieve the same goal
Vertical flexibility is having the option to move the intensity of the activity up or down
The roles of the different levels: mini, plus, and elite
How to work with feelings and motivation in establishing habits
How to apply the lateral and vertical flexibility to habits
Cues or triggers are what prompts you to do the behavior
The different types of cues or triggers: time. activity, daily, emotional, and window
Intelligent tracking and why it’s important in establishing new habits
The process for creating and implementing “elastic” habits

Stephen Guise Links:

Stephen’s Website

Twitter

Facebook

When you purchase products and/or services from the sponsors of this episode, you help support The One You Feed. Your support is greatly appreciated, thank you!

If you enjoyed this conversation with Stephen Guise, you might also enjoy these other episodes:

Behavior Change with John Norcross

Tiny Habits for Behavior Change with BJ Fogg

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James Clear on Compounding Nature of Habits (Part 2) Dec 31, 2021

Show notes

James Clear is the author of Atomic Habits: An Easy and Proven Way to Build Good Habits and Break Bad Ones. His work has appeared in The New York Times, CBS This Morning, Time, Entrepreneur, and he has taught in colleges around the world. James is also the creator of the Habits Academy, the premier training platform for organizations and individuals that are interested in building better habits in life and work.

In Part 2 of this interview, Eric and James discuss more specific ideas and concepts for establishing good habits and eliminating bad habits.

If you’d like to make 2022 a better year for you, bring clarity to what matters most, and discover the tools to help you become the person you really want to be, Eric can help you! To book a FREE, no-pressure 30-minute Discovery call to see if working with Eric is right for you, click here.

James Clear and I Discuss the Compounding Nature of Habits and…

His book, Atomic Habits: An Easy and Proven Way to Build Good Habits and Break Bad Ones
Habits are a response to the physical cues in our environment
Learning to make it obvious or reduce friction when trying to create good habits
Habit stacking and priming your environment for success
Clarifying the action: “After _____, I will _____”
Getting specific with your actions (when, where)
How social environment affects the attractiveness of habits
Making habits easy and convenient
The two-minute rule for establishing good habits
A habit must be established before it can be improved
Optimize for the starting line rather than the finish line
Make it satisfying – how positive emotions cultivate good habits and negative emotions destroy them
Bring the long-term consequences into the short term
Reinforcing your identity by your actions