The Offensive

Latest Episodes:

Episode 013: Battle of the Bastards Nov 11, 2018

Show notes

As Ashwood City combat a supporter protest during a game where both home and away fans have been banned; Woody is entering his third week of suspension, and is looking to make a comeback.

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

Additional voices:

Omari Douglas

Sam Hallahan

Luke Stevenson

Oliver Dowling

Simon Shaw

Rhys Tees

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.

Listener discretion is advised.

Thanks for listening to The Offensive. Follow the club @AshwoodCity

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 012: Snakes on a Train Nov 04, 2018

Show notes

As the scandal deepens and FA investigations continue, Head of Ethics: Benedict Rice, along with Chief Executive Patrick Nolan and the Vice Head of Football Operations Nick Bernardi have accompanied the playing staff aboard the train to Newcastle, as a show of solidarity for their upcoming fixture.

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Sam Hallahan as Nick 'The Prick' Bernardi

Oliver Dowling as Benedict Rice

Additional voices:

Joel Emery

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

Listener discretion is advised.

Thanks for listening to The Offensive. Follow the club @AshwoodCity

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 011: Boats on a Scandal Oct 28, 2018

Show notes

During the height of the media storm following The Portsmouth Matter, Ashwood face Cardiff City on the pitch and an FA investigation off it, courtesy of the new Ashwood City Director of Ethics; Benedict Rice.

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

Oliver Dowling as Benedict Rice

Additional voices:

Omari Douglas

Rachel Summers

Jo Price

Lucy-Jane Quinlan

Dean Kilbey

Joel Emery

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

Listener discretion is advised.

Thanks for listening to The Offensive. Follow the club @AshwoodCity

Hall of the Mountain King Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License

http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 010: Lost in Translation Oct 21, 2018

Show notes

Ashwood City travel to Burnley after a disastrous and perplexing opening press conference for the new Head Coach; Felix Grosjean. The match takes a turn for the worse after a bust-up in the tunnel between Felix and Burnley manager Sean Dyche. Ashwood's problems deepen as the translator hired by Felix isn't fulfilling his duties.

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

Denis Michallet as Felix Grosjean / Bruno Duvall

Additional voices:

Omari Douglas

Nalan Burgess

Luke Stevenson

Joel Emery

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

Listener discretion is advised.

Thanks for listening to The Offensive. Follow the club @AshwoodCity

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 009: The French Connection Oct 07, 2018

Show notes

Patrick and Woody are en route to Marseille to obtain the services of Head Coach Felix Grosjean, but a stumbling block is put in their place as the Marseille Chief-Executive is having second thoughts. Jess is tasked with keeping Chinese betting corporation, and Ashwood City shirt sponsor; iBET sweet, but heavy concessions are required.

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

Additional voices:

Omari Douglas

Denis Michallet

Wen Theaker

Trev Neo

Joel Emery

Jonny Sharples

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

Listener discretion is advised.

Thanks for listening to The Offensive. Follow the club @AshwoodCity

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 008: Out of Office Sep 30, 2018

Show notes

Following yet another defeat, this time at the hands of Chelsea; Ashwood City FC face action in the form of a last-minute supporter protest. With the club image in tatters, Jess is tasked with disrupting the protest and buying Ashwood some time - yet she has some commitments of her own.

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Lucy-Jane Quinlan as Erica

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

Additional voices:

Omari Douglas

Nalan Burgess

Luke Stevenson

Joel Emery

Oliver Dowling

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

Listener discretion is advised.

Thanks for listening to The Offensive. Follow the club @AshwoodCity

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 007: Big Sam and Fries Sep 23, 2018

Show notes

Ashwood are moments away from hiring Big Sam as the ownership throw a last minute obstacle in their way. Meanwhile, as Liam Brightwell looks to take charge of his second game as caretaker manager, a disastrous Ashwood City tweet dismisses him from the club.

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

Dane Baptiste as Liam Brightwell

Nalan Burgess as Jane

Lucy-Jane Quinlan as Erica

Rachel Summers as Simone

Rhys Tees as Sam Green

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

Listener discretion is advised.

Thanks for listening to The Offensive. Follow the club @AshwoodCity

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 006: Howe to Cheat Death Sep 16, 2018

Show notes

As Ashwood City failed to recruit a new manager during the international break they face Bournemouth with former under 23s coach Liam Brightwell as caretaker manager. Following the match Patrick is detained in Eddie Howe's office after a death threat is made on his life.

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

Dane Baptiste as Liam Brightwell

Acushla-Tara Kupe as Helen Weston

Additional voices:

Omari Douglas

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

Listener discretion is advised.

Thanks for listening to The Offensive. Follow the club @AshwoodCity

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 005: Long Live The King Sep 02, 2018

Show notes

Following a huge result for Ashwood, Dan Watson's comments in a post-match interview leave reverberations around the club as Patrick, Jess and Woody attempt to curtail the lofty ambitions of their manager.

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

Joel Emery as Dan Watson

Additional voices:

Jo Price

Lucinda Shaw

Omari Douglas

Sirena Riley

Suzie Houlihan

Rhys Tees

Larner Wallace-Taylor

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

Listener discretion is advised.

Thanks for listening to The Offensive. Follow the club @AshwoodCity

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 004: The Last Supper Aug 26, 2018

Show notes

On the eve of their game at Crystal Palace; Patrick, Woody and Dan have met for dinner in London. As the night progresses Dan becomes increasingly frustrated that his expected dinner guest in Roy Hodgson is yet to show.

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

Joel Emery as Dan Watson

Additional voices:

Omari Douglas

Rhys Tees

Raphaela Israel-Öbeñg

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell

Edited by: