The Novelizers

Latest Episodes:

Craig Ferguson, David Pressman, Kenny Stevenson - ID4 Ch. 1 & 2 Nov 06, 2023

Show notes

Ch. 1: "The Arrival." Novelized by Steve Agee, narrated by David Pressman.

Ch. 2: "In Which Jeff Goldblum Rides His Bike Like a Boss and Earth Is Invaded by 15-Mile-Wide Space Cookies." Novelized by Liz Lent, narrated by Craig Ferguson.

Interview: Kenny Stevenson

David Pressman is an actor known for Krapopolis, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, and appearing in, you guessed it, Independence Day.

Steve Agee is best known for playing John Economos and being the on-set portrayal of King Shark in the DC Extended Universe's The Suicide Squad and Peacemaker. He has also appeared on New Girl and was a writer for Jimmy Kimmel Live!

Craig Ferguson is best known for hosting CBS's The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson and for starring as Nigel Wick in The Drew Carey Show. Check his new show on iHeartPodcasts, "Joy, A Podcast" here.

Liz Lent is a writer and painter. Check out her work on Instagram @lizlent.

The Novelizers was created by Stephen Levinson, produced by Stephen, Chris Karwowski, Rob Kutner, and Suchetas Bokil. Editing, mixing, and mastering by Chris. Improv booking by Christine Bullen. Music by Cole Emoff. Art direction by Crystal Dennis with illustrations by Barry Crain. Intro narration by Robin Reed. Interviews by Kevin Carter. Special thanks to Luke Dennis and Peter Hayes at WYSO Public Radio in Yellow Springs, Ohio.

Follow The Novelizers on Instagram and Twitter, or at thenovelizers.com.

The Novelizers is a work of parody, unauthorized by 20th Century Studios, The Walt Disney Company, or Independence Day.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Full Novelization: Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan Oct 30, 2023

Show notes

This the full book of the Novelizers' first season, which novelizes Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan. This episode is perfect if you like to have it all in one place, or if you have nothing else important going on your life.

(00:00:00) Introduction

(00:01:00) Chapter 1 — Christina Chong

(00:12:01) Chapter 2: "Dr. McCoy" — Jon Benjamin

(00:18:52) Chapter 3: "Preanimate Bullshit" — Felicia Day

(00:26:55) Chapter 4: "It Turns Out It's Ceti Alpha V, Not Ceti Alpha VI" — Andy Daly

(00:45:39) Chapter 5: "This One Has Farts and Lady Jokes" — Mary Jo Peele

(00:58:02) Chapter 6: "Showtime" — Kevin Shinick

(01:09:08) Chapter 7: "Follow You Follow Me" — Patton Oswalt

(01:18:43) Chapter 8: "Genesis Begins" — Maggie Maye, Mike O'Gorman, Teresa Lee

(01:41:42) Chapter 9: "Yellow Alert" — Ira Glass

(01:54:41) Chapter 10: "Stalling for Time" — Jo Firestone

(02:01:12) Chapter 11: "Ain't Nothing Regula About Any of This" — Dick Cavett

(02:13:39) Chapter 12: "Kirk! With Eels!" — Fred Stoller

(02:24:15) Chapter 13: "What Am I Feeling?" — Steve Agee

(02:30:44) Chapter 14: "The Wrath of Walt" — Rachel Bloom, John Hodgman, Steve Agee

(02:37:31) Chapter 15: "Spock's Geometric Blunder" — J.K. Simmons

(02:44:58) Chapter 16: "Scotty Loses Consciousness" — Fred MacCaulay

(02:49:20) Chapter 17: "High Noon(ien)" — Maurice LaMarche

(03:10:33) Chapter 18: "Live Long or Die Trying" — Beth Stelling

(03:19:18) Chapter 19: "My Motherfucker is Dead" — Wayne Brady

(03:24:25) Epilogue — Dave Hill

The Novelizers was created by Stephen Levinson, produced by Stephen, Chris Karwowski and Rob Kutner, and edited, mixed and mastered by Chris Karwowski. Associate Producer: Suchetas Bokil. Music by Cole Emoff, Andrew Lin, Mike Wilson and Chris Messick.

Special thanks to Sarah Mabe, Crystal Dennis, and Hannah Levinson.

Follow the Novelizers on ⁠Instagram⁠ and ⁠Twitter⁠, or at ⁠thenovelizers.com⁠.

The Novelizers is a work of parody, unauthorized by Paramount, Roddenberry Entertainment or Star Trek.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Wayne Brady, Matt Walsh, Dave Hill - Khan Ch. 19 & Epilogue Aug 07, 2023

Show notes

Ch 19: “My Motherfucker is Dead.” Novelized by Jordan Black, narrated by Wayne Brady.

“Epilogue.” Novelized and narrated by Dave Hill.

Interview: Matt Walsh

Wayne Brady is an American comedian best known for starring on Whose Line Is It Anyway? and hosting Let’s Make a Deal, The Wayne Brady Show, and Don’t Forget the Lyrics! He has won five Primetime Emmys for his work.

Jordan Black is a writer and producer who has written for SNL, Last Man Standing, and The Last O.G.

Dave Hill is a comedian and frequent panelist on Comedy Central’s @midnight. He has also appeared on Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Inside Amy Schumer, and Full Frontal with Samantha Bee, among others.

Matt Walsh is an actor and comedian who received two Emmy nominations for his role as Mike McKlintock on Veep. He’s also a founding member of the Upright Citizens Brigade and was a correspondent on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.

Special thanks to Sarah Mabe, Crystal Dennis, Dennis DiClaudio, and Hannah Levinson.

Follow the Novelizers on ⁠Instagram⁠ and ⁠Twitter⁠, or at ⁠thenovelizers.com⁠.

The Novelizers is a work of parody, unauthorized by Paramount, Roddenberry Entertainment or Star Trek.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Beth Stelling, Maurice LaMarche, Geri Cole - Khan Ch. 17 & 18 Jul 31, 2023

Show notes

Ch 17: Novelized by Shek Baker, narrated by Maurice LaMarche - “The Annoyance of Noonien.”

Ch 18: Novelized by Mickie Cathers, narrated by Beth Stelling - “Live Long or Die Trying.”

Interview: Geri Cole

Maurice LaMarche is a comedian and voice actor best known for voicing Lrr, Morbo, and Calculon from Futurama and various roles in Frozen, Zootopia, Looney Tunes, and more. He also voices Sam the Toucan in the Froot Loops commercials.

Shek Baker is a writer and comedian.

Beth Stelling is a stand-up comedian who has performed on Conan, Jimmy Kimmel Live!, Netflix’s The Standups, and more. She has written for HBO’s Crashing, and her special “Girl Daddy” is now streaming on Max.

Mickie Cathers is a writer based out of Philadelphia.

Geri Cole is a writer and improviser who has written for Sesame Street.

Special thanks to Sarah Mabe, Crystal Dennis, Dennis DiClaudio, and Hannah Levinson.

Follow the Novelizers on ⁠Instagram⁠ and ⁠Twitter⁠, or at ⁠thenovelizers.com⁠.

The Novelizers is a work of parody, unauthorized by Paramount, Roddenberry Entertainment or Star Trek.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

J.K. Simmons, Fred MacAulay, Mike Czarnecki - Khan Ch. 15 & 16 w. Jul 24, 2023

Show notes

Chapter 15: Novelized by Mike Wilson, narrated by J.K. Simmons - “Spock’s Geometric Blunder.”

Chapter 16: Novelized by John Ross Bowie, narrated by Fred MacAulay - “Scotty Loses Consciousness.”

Interview: Mike Czarnecki

J.K. Simmons has appeared in over 200 film and television roles, receiving acclaim and various accolades, including an Oscar, a BAFTA, and a Golden Globe for his performance in Whiplash.

Mike Wilson is a writer living in Chicago.

Fred MacAulay is a Scottish comedian known for hosting the BBC radio program MacAulay and Co.

John Ross Bowie is best known for playing Barry Kripke on The Big Bang Theory and Jimmy DiMeo on Speechless. He also appeared on Curb Your Enthusiasm, Glee, and Reno 911!

Mike Czarnecki is an improvisational comedian from Dayton.

Special thanks to Sarah Mabe, Crystal Dennis, Dennis DiClaudio, and Hannah Levinson.

Follow The Novelizers on ⁠Instagram⁠ and ⁠Twitter⁠, or at ⁠thenovelizers.com⁠.

The Novelizers is a work of parody, unauthorized by Paramount, Roddenberry Entertainment or Star Trek.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Rachel Bloom, John Hodgman, Steve Agee - Khan Ch. 13 & 14 Jul 18, 2023

Show notes

Ch 13: Novelized and narrated by Steve Agee - “What Am I Feeling?”

Ch 14: “The Wrath of Walt” Novelized by Rob Kutner, narrated with the help of the following cast and crew:

Aliza Pearl as Chanter

Ronen Landa as Joachim

Joe Chiapa as Khan

Rena Strober as Carol Marcus

Rachel Bloom as Kirk

Candi Milo as Saavik

John Hodgman as Computer

Mike O’Gorman as Spock

Clarisse Barbier and Rob Kutner as production crew

Interview: Chris Karwowski.

Steve Agee is best known for playing John Economos and being the on-set portrayal of King Shark in the DC Extended Universe’s The Suicide Squad and Peacemaker. He has also appeared on Superstore and New Girl and was a writer for Jimmy Kimmel Live!

Rachel Bloom was the co-creator and star of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, for which she won a Golden Globe, Primetime Emmy, and Critics’ Choice Award. She has also appeared in many films, including Most Likely to Murder, The Angry Birds Movie 2, Trolls World Tour, Bar Fight!, and The School for Good and Evil.

John Hodgman is an author and actor whose writing has been published in The Paris Review, The New York Times Magazine, and McSweeney's. He was also a regular contributor to The Daily Show with John Stewart.

Mike O'Gorman is a writer and actor who has written for The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon and most recently appeared in Ted Lasso and True Lies.

Rob Kutner is a producer of this podcast and has won five Primetime Emmys, a Peabody, and a Grammy for writing for Conan, The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, and Dennis Miller Live, among others. He has also written material for the Oscars, Emmys, and two White House Correspondents’ Dinners.

Chris Karwowski is a producer of this podcast and was a writer and producer for The Onion and Adult Swim.

Special thanks to Sarah Mabe, Crystal Dennis, Dennis DiClaudio, and Hannah Levinson.

Follow the Novelizers on ⁠Instagram⁠ and ⁠Twitter⁠, or at ⁠thenovelizers.com⁠.

The Novelizers is a work of parody, unauthorized by Paramount, Roddenberry Entertainment or Star Trek.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dick Cavett, Fred Stoller, Joe Randazzo - Khan Ch. 11 & 12 Jul 03, 2023

Show notes

Ch 11: Novelized by Dennis DiClaudio, narrated by Dick Cavett - “Ain’t Nothing Regula About Any of This.”

Ch 12: Novelized by River Clegg, narrated by Fred Stoller - “Kirk! With Eels!”

Interview: Joe Randazzo.

Dick Cavett has appeared regularly on American television since the 1960s, hosting various talk shows. He writes a column for The New York Times and previously wrote for both Jack Paar and Johnny Carson’s iterations of The Tonight Show.

Dennis DiClaudio is a writer who was formerly the editor-in-chief of Comedy Central’s Indecision website and has written for The Onion and the A.V. Club. His plays have been staged all over the United States.

Fred Stoller was a writer for Seinfeld and frequently guest starred as Gerard on Everybody Loves Raymond, among appearances on various other television shows.

River Clegg has written for The Late Show with Stephen Colbert and The Opposition with Jordan Klepper. He has also contributed to The New Yorker, The Onion, and McSweeney’s.

Joe Randazzo is a writer, standup, and improviser and was formerly an editor for The Onion. He also wrote the parody film Donald Trump’s The Art of the Deal: The Movie.

The Novelizers was created by Stephen Levinson, produced by Stephen, Chris Karwowski and Rob Kutner, and edited, mixed and mastered by Chris Karwowski. Music by Cole Emoff, Andrew Lin, Mike Wilson and Chris Messick. Production assistance by Suchetas Bokil.

Special thanks to Sarah Mabe, Crystal Dennis, Dennis DiClaudio, and Hannah Levinson.

Follow the Novelizers on ⁠Instagram⁠ and ⁠Twitter⁠, or at ⁠thenovelizers.com⁠.

The Novelizers is a work of parody, unauthorized by Paramount, Roddenberry Entertainment or Star Trek.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ira Glass, Jo Firestone, Clark Jones - Khan Ch. 9 & 10 Jun 26, 2023

Show notes

Ch 9: Novelized by Stephen Levinson, narrated by Ira Glass - “Yellow Alert.”

Ch 8: Novelized and narrated by Jo Firestone - “Stalling for Time.”

Interview: Clark Jones.

Ira Glass is the host and producer of the nationally-syndicated radio show This American Life.

Stephen Levinson is the creator of this podcast and has previously written for The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon, Jim Henson Studios, and Comedy Central.

Jo Firestone is best known for playing Sarah Conner on Joe Pera Talks with You and writing for and performing on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon.

Clark Jones is a stand-up comedian who has been listed as one of the top 11 comedians by BET.com and has appeared on HBO's "Crashing", "Night Train with Wyatt Cenac" on Starz, and the "2 Dope Queens" podcast.

The Recap Rap was performed by Kevin Carter, written by Sage Boggs and engineered by Andre Manuel at Safe House Studios, Dayton, Ohio.

Special thanks to Sarah Mabe, Crystal Dennis, Dennis DiClaudio, and Hannah Levinson.

Follow the Novelizers on ⁠Instagram⁠, Facebook, and Twitter⁠, or at ⁠thenovelizers.com⁠.

The Novelizers is a work of parody, unauthorized by Paramount, Roddenberry Entertainment or Star Trek.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Patton Oswalt, Maggie Maye, Mike O'Gorman, Teresa Lee - Khan Ch. 7 & 8 Jun 19, 2023

Show notes

Ch 7: Novelized by Maura Quint, narrated by Patton Oswalt - “Follow You Follow Me.”

Ch 8: Novelized by Joe Fusion, narrated by Maggie Maye, Mike O’Gorman, and Theresa Lee - “Genesis Begins.”

Interview: Asher Perlman and Steve Waltien

Patton Oswalt has been headlining comedy clubs for over two decades, having appeared in six comedy specials and won a Primetime Emmy and Grammy. He starred in The King of Queens, narrated The Goldbergs, voiced Remy in Ratatouille, and has appeared on Seinfeld, Parks and Recreations, and various other television series.

Maura Quint is the co-founder of Tax March and runs the popular Twitter account @behindyourback. She has been a contributor to The Onion and McSweeney’s.

Maggie Maye is a stand-up, sketch, and improvisational comedian who has appeared on Conan and Last Call with Carson Daly. She has written for Netflix’s History of Swear Words and The New Yorker.

Mike O'Gorman is a writer and actor who has written for The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon and most recently appeared in Ted Lasso and True Lies.

Teresa Lee is a stand-up comedian who has written for Good Mythical Morning, Cracked, and MTV’s Middle of the Night Show. She was a semi-finalist on Standup NBC.

Dr. Joe Fusion is a sciency-math person who also writes comedy. Dr. Fusion is available for hire as superhero or supervillain, price negotiable. Follow him on Instagram @joe_fusion and Twitter @jfusion.

Asher Perlman is a writer and performer on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert and a cartoonist at The New Yorker. He has previously written for The Opposition with Jordan Klepper, The Onion, and McSweeney’s.

Steve Waltien is a writer and performer on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert and previously wrote for The Opposition with Jordan Klepper.

Special thanks to Sarah Mabe, Crystal Dennis, Dennis DiClaudio, and Hannah Levinson.

Follow the Novelizers on ⁠Instagram⁠ and ⁠Twitter⁠, or at ⁠thenovelizers.com⁠.

The Novelizers is a work of parody, unauthorized by Paramount, Roddenberry Entertainment or Star Trek.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Mary Jo Pehl, Kevin Shinick, Jesse Glasgow - Khan Ch. 5 & 6 Jun 12, 2023

Show notes

Chapter 5 “This One Has Farts and Lady Jokes,” Novelized by Liz Lent narrated by Mary Jo Pehl.

Chapter 6: “Showtime,” Novelized and narrated by Kevin Shinick.

Interview: Jesse Glasgow, sound engineer in charge of beeps and boops.

Liz Lent is a writer and painter. Check out her work on Instagram @lizlent,

Mary Jo Pehl is a writer, actor, and comedian. She was one of the founding members of Mystery Science Theater 3000 where she later played Pearl Forrester, as well as Cinematic Titanic and Rifftrax. The Mary Jo Pehl Show streams on Twitch. Check out more of her work at mjpehl.com.

Kevin Shinick is an Emmy award-winning writer as well as producer, director, actor, and comic book creator. He's written and performed on Adult Swim's Robot Chicken. He's written comic books such as Batman, W.E.B. of Spider-Man, The Flash and Guardians of the Galaxy. Plus he helped create an animated Star Wars series with George Lucas but Star Trek fans don’t hold it against him because it never aired. Check out his stuff at kevinshinick.com.

Jesse Glasgow is a writer, performer and improviser who has appeared on Key and Peele. Follow her on Instagram @jesseglasgow.

Andy Richter is a writer, performer, and podcast host. Kevin Carter is an improv performer, educator, and rapper. Check out his work at ⁠https://www.thekcarter.com/.⁠

Special thanks to Sarah Mabe, Crystal Dennis, Dennis DiClaudio, and Hannah Levinson.

Follow the Novelizers on ⁠Instagram⁠ and ⁠Twitter⁠, or at ⁠thenovelizers.com⁠.

The Novelizers is a work of parody, unauthorized by Paramount, Roddenberry Entertainment or Star Trek.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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