The Modern Manager

Latest Episodes:

99: Show Authentic and Meaningful Appreciation with Dr. Paul White Apr 22, 2020

Show notes

Do you ever feel like you’ve shown so much appreciation to someone and yet the recipient doesn’t seem to recognize it? This may be due to a mismatch in languages of appreciation. As managers, it’s critical that we show appreciation that is meaningful to our team members, but figuring out how to do this isn’t always obvious.

Dr. Paul White is a psychologist, speaker, and international leadership trainer who “makes work relationships work”. His company, Appreciation at Work, provides training resources for corporations, medical facilities, schools, non-profits, government agencies, over 700 colleges and universities, and in over 60 countries. He is the coauthor with Dr. Gary Chapman of The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace, which has sold over 400,000 copies.

Paul and I talk about the five languages of appreciation, how to show appreciation that is actually appreciated, how to not show appreciation that backfires, and basically all things appreciation in the workplace.

Read the related blog article: How To Ensure Your Team Members Feel Valued

Join the Modern Manager community (www.mamieks.com/join) to access dozens of guest bonuses, episode guides and a community of supportive managers in our private Slack team. Members get the Motivating By Appreciation Inventory FREE! This assessment helps you discover your preferred language of appreciation and provides an individualized report and list of action items you can share with your team members to help them “hit the mark” in showing YOU appreciation.

If you work for a nonprofit or government agency, email me at mamie@mamieks.com for 20% off any membership level.

Subscribe to my newsletter to get episodes, articles and free mini-guides delivered to your inbox.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

There are five languages of appreciation at work based on Dr. Gary Chapman’s five love languages: words of affirmation; quality time; acts of service; tangible gifts; physical touch.
46% of people prefer Words of Affirmation. This includes verbal and written (paper and digital) communications.
When offering words of affirmation, use the person’s name and be specific about what you appreciate and why.
Show appreciation for performance and personal qualities such as cheerful attitude, sense of humor, or dedication.
Approximately 40% of people prefer to receive praise in private.
Quality time focuses on feeling included. This can be done through small gestures such as informal chatting with a person and spending time talking about work, listening attentively, and providing opportunities for mentorship.
Acts of service is about helping to make the other person’s life or work better. This includes proactive acts and offers such as helping on a project, ensuring someone isn’t interrupted while they’re trying to focus, or lending your expertise.
Do not confuse acts of service with swooping in to save a failing project or taking over someone else's work.
Tangible gifts do not need to be expensive. As long as the item is specific to the person and shows you thoughtfully selected this gift because you were thinking about them. Consider items such as a person’s caffeinated beverage of choice, a magazine featuring a hobby they enjoy, or a memento from a vacation you just took.
Less than 1% of the population prefer physical touch. This can be complicated in the workplace and it’s important to respect physical boundaries. Acts such as a handshake, high five or fits bump after an exciting moment are all appropriate.
Physical touch can also be conveyed without contact through a warm smile and looking the person in the eyes.
Rewards are not the same as appreciation. Rewards incentivize performance while appreciation shows gratitude for the whole person.
Whenever possible, show appreciation within 24-48 hours after an occurrence, instead of waiting for a formal review.
Beware of generational differences in appreciation. Older generations tend to prefer handwritten notes while younger generations feel equally satisfied by digital messages. Younger generations also tend to appreciate the ability to have quality time outside of the office rather than with their colleagues.

KEEP UP WITH PAUL

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/appreciationatwork/ and

Facebook.com/DrPaulWhite

Twitter: @5Appreciation and @drpaulwhite

Pinterest: www.pintrest.com/drpaulwhite

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=dr+paul+white

Blog: www.appreciationatwork.com/blog

Website: www.appreciationatwork.com

RESOURCES

Book: Five Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace
Books by Gary Chapman on the Five Love Languages

mamie@mamieks.com

98: Finding Balance as a Manager with Bekka Prideaux Apr 14, 2020

Show notes

We’re all in search of the perfect balance of our responsibilities as a manager and getting our own work done. But is this elusive balance even possible or will we forever be pulled in too many directions?

Bekka Prideaux is a Leadership Development Coach and Consultant. Over the past 25 years, she has worked with some of the most recognizable brands in the world to develop great leaders, deliver successful projects and impressive business results. Her clients value her pragmatic and fun approach and the unique blend of experience and expertise that she brings. She believes that success starts with leading yourself and your teams and loves working with people to make that happen.

Bekka and I talk about how to balance getting your own work done and being available to support your team. We get into the three key domains of a manager, dig into effective delegation, and the important nuances of communicating effectively with different team members.

Read the related blog article: How to Balance the Three Roles of a Manager

Join the Modern Manager community (www.mamieks.com/join) to access a community of supportive managers in our private Slack team. Get The Curious Choice worksheet and 10% off a coaching package with Bekka along with dozens of other guest bonuses and episode guides.

If you work for a nonprofit or government agency, email me at mamie@mamieks.com for 20% off any membership level.

Subscribe to my newsletter to get episodes, articles and free mini-guides delivered to your inbox.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

There is no perfect equation to balancing the role of a manager. But, there is an ideal balance for you and your team at this moment in time.
The Curious Choice model says managers have three core responsibilities that overlap in a Venn diagram: (1) leading or setting vision, (2) executing and ensuring others get work done, and (3) coaching and supporting team members.
The amount of time you spend doing various activities within the Curious Choice model will depend on your team members, the goals you’re working towards, and other context. It’s important to check in every few months to be sure you’re allocating your time appropriately.
Look for activities you can do that hit more than one of those core responsibilities in order to optimize your time.
Delegating is a sweet spot as you can do all three at the same time: hand off work and ensure it gets done, explain how this work aligns to the bigger picture, and support the team member to develop new skills or know-how to do this work.
Be specific and explicit about what you need from each of your team members. Make it easy for them to give you the right information at the right time, and set them up to successfully complete their work.
Get to know your people by asking them questions and truly listening. When you align work with their personal interests, skills and goals, people do their best work.
Be clear about when you’re available, and under what circumstances, and when you’re doing your own focused work. Set “office hours” or otherwise signal when people can interrupt you.
The job of a manager is not to be putting out fires or rescuing people. Your job is to enable others to solve problems and get work done.
Build relationships with your team members to understand what motivates them, how you can support them, and how they want to grow.
Communication is a two way street. You must communicate in a way that the other person understands and is able to act on the message. If the other person doesnt understand and cannot act, you’ve only transmitted, not communicated.
Encourage your team to give you feedback, to let you know when you aren’t being clear. Graciously accept their questions and feedback so you can learn and do better.

mamie@mamieks.com

97: Managing Your Team Through a Crisis with Dyan Dolfi-Offutt Apr 08, 2020

Show notes

A moment of crisis can shatter a team or make it stronger than ever. It’s all about how you respond as the team leader. Right now, surrounded by the uncertainties and tragedies of COVID-19, it’s your turn to step up and manage through this difficult moment.

Dyan Dolfi-Offutt founded Soda Pop Public Relations in 2011 with the goal of doing great work for great people as well as creating a healthy & fun culture for her team. With an experienced team of professionals, Soda Pop PR specializes in media relations, influencer relations, events, and partnerships for food, beverage and lifestyle brands. Over the last eight years, SPPR’s personalized, honest and creative approach has launched over 40 products, managed over 50 influencer campaigns, brokered 100+ partnerships and produced over 90 promotional events resulting in over 7 billion impressions.

A few months ago, before coronavirus shook the world, Dyan experienced a moment of crisis in her business. While the context was different, the lessons learned can be applied to almost any situation. Dyan and I talk about how she approached this difficult moment with her team. What information she shared and when, how she empowered the team and was vulnerable with them, basically how to lead through a moment of crisis.

Read the related blog article: How to Inspire Your Team When Everything Is Falling Apart.

Join the Modern Manager community (www.mamieks.com/join) to access a community of supportive managers in our private Slack team. Get 20% PR Therapy calls with Dyan AND a free 1x1 coaching call with me to help you manage through this difficult moment.

You can also win 1 of 5 copies of Surrounded by Insanity: How to execute bad decisions. You must be a member by April 21, 2020 to be eligible.

And, win 1 of 5 copies of Start At The End: How to build products that create change. You must be a member by April 14, 2020 to be eligible.

If you work for a nonprofit or government agency, email me at mamie@mamieks.com for 20% off any membership level.

Subscribe to my newsletter to get episodes, articles and free mini-guides delivered to your inbox.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

You’re only as successful as your team and the people you surround yourself with.
When a crisis arises or you face a difficult decision, it’s important not to only think about yourself.
When accepting advice from others, take it with a grain of salt. Their situation may be different from yours. Their values may be different. You should listen and then decide for yourself.
Be as transparent as possible with your team. Tell them everything you can, even more than you normally would.
Talk with each person individually as well as as a whole group. Process the news together and then one-on-one.
As the leader, you need to be rock solid and vulnerable at the same time. Project confidence in your plan to do everything you can to get the team out of the situation while also being real about the impact it has on you personally.
Imagine the worst case scenario and then make peace with it. This frees your mind to work on what you can do rather than worry about what will happen.
The hardest part of change is the neutral zone, between what was and what will be. (From Managing Transitions book) Focus on the small daily activities that will move you forward.
Continue to invest in your team even during a moment of crisis. That investment will provide momentum and inspiration to keep going.
Attack the problems as a team. Start a “war room” where the team gathers weekly to work on the problem, share learnings and plan next steps.
The small things you do all year establish the strong foundation for you to lead your team when a difficult moment arises. Say hello, give real-time feedback, build relationships, etc. It matters.

RESOURCES

Book: Managing Transitions by William Bridges
Webinars on remote work during social distancing: www.mamieks.com/webinarreplays
Free guides on remote work during social distancing: www.mamieks.com/free

mamie@mamieks.com

96: Become a Virtual Team Overnight Apr 01, 2020

Show notes

We’re in the middle of a pandemic. Almost overnight, thousands of teams needed to figure out how to do their work virtually, while also navigating the stress of social distancing. Being a manager is hard enough during regular times, but right now is a time when your team members need you most.

In this episode, I talk through three tips to help you adjust to managing a remote team during social distancing. For more support, scroll down to the resources section.

Instead of a mini-guide for this episode, you can download 2 free guides at www.mamieks.com/free.

Members of the Modern Manager community get a free 30 minute coaching session with me to help them address their most pressing challenges. Become a member of the Modern Manager community.

Subscribe to my newsletter to get episodes, articles and free mini-guides delivered to your inbox.

Read the related blog article: How to Be a Rockstar Manager During Social Distancing.

Key Takeaways:

Give yourself a break. This is a high-stress time and no one expects you to be perfect.
Be practical. Give your team members time to adjust to working from home, especially if they have kids around.
Delay timelines and push back deadlines when you have wiggle room. This will alleviate some of the stress.
Allow “good enough” to be good enough when you can.
Talk with your team about how you will work together remotely. What hours will everyone be available? What tools will you use?
Talk with each team member individually about what kinds of support they need from you right now.
Let your team members know what support you need from them, too.
Hold a weekly team meeting to connect and stay aligned. Use the first part of the meeting to check in and connect with each other. Use the second part of the meeting to align on work progress, company news, and reflect on how you can work together more effectively.
Use a chat app to stay connected at a distance. Set up topics for work and fun.
Organize your work topics based on the natural conversations you’d have. Consider also creating topics such as ‘issues’ as a special way to signal when help is needed.
Create fun topics such as ‘family time’, ‘coronavirus news’ or ‘funny things.’ Use these topics to replicate the casual conversations that happen around the office.
Post pictures! Photos are a great way to feel connected. Encourage people to share pictures of their life at home, even if they would normally be more private.
Use the chat app to hold a daily standup meeting. Each person posts their answers to these three questions by 9am: (1) what did I accomplish yesterday? (2) what will I accomplish today? (3) What is stopping me from doing my work? Or What do I need from my colleagues?
A daily stand up helps people focus and prioritize, creates accountability, and quickly identifies roadblocks.

Additional Resources:

Go to www.mamieks.com/free to get two guides to effective work during social distancing
Chat tools to consider: Slack, Microsoft Teams, Chanty, Whats App
Purchase full episode guides at www.mamieks.com/store.

mamie@mamieks.com

95: Navigating Cultural Diversity with Jonah Fisher Mar 27, 2020

Show notes

Companies often talk about culture, but rarely talk about cultural differences. When team members from different countries come together, they must navigate their cultural differences and create a shared team culture that enables the team to do great work.

Jonah Fisher is the Director of Seeds of Peace’s international innovation arm, GATHER. His passion for social innovation has led him to the building of a microfinance organization during the global recession, an interfaith service-learning program during times of unprecedented bigotry in the US, an international social-entrepreneurship accelerator, and most recently, a co-working space for social entrepreneurs in Tel Aviv.

We talk about culture and what it is, how to read cultural cues, how to connect and build relationships across cultures, how to work with team members around the world at a distance, and how to balance having a consistent culture that is comfortable for everyone and having diversity in culture that enhances the team.

Read the related blog article: How To Form A Cohesive Team Across Cultural Divides.

Join the Modern Manager community (www.mamieks.com/join) to access a community of supportive managers in our private Slack team. Also, get 1 of 2 coaching sessions with Jonah on social innovation - email mamie@mamieks.com to request one.

You can also win 1 of 5 copies of Surrounded by Insanity: How to execute bad decisions. You must be a member by April 21, 2020 to be eligible.

And, win 1 of 5 copies of Start At The End: How to build products that create change. You must be a member by April 14, 2020 to be eligible.

If you work for a nonprofit or government agency, email me at mamie@mamieks.com for 20% off any membership level.

Subscribe to my newsletter to get episodes, articles and free mini-guides delivered to your inbox.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

A person’s culture is influenced by their family and country or society they grew up in. It impacts everything from how they dress to what they eat to how they speak. Often we don’t recognize our own culture until we confront someone with a different culture.
Creating a cohesive team culture is challenging when you’re working with people from many different countries. It's important to pay attention to cultural differences as they can be a great strength.
Interviewing for cultural fit is important. Cultural fit doesn’t mean everyone has the same culture but rather there is alignment in vision and values so that when there is conflict, it is handled productively.
Use the interview time to get to know the person beyond their skills and experiences. What do they care about, what’s their story.
Use culturally appropriate humor to get a sense of the person and show warmth. Look for cues that can help you adjust your tone to match theirs.
Trust your instincts when building a culturally diverse team. Your intuition often knows whether someone will fit and their differences will enhance the culture.
Get to know each person’s culture as a team. Listen actively and show your genuine understanding and support for them through your words and actions.
Find shared struggles to quickly develop connections. Commiserating over shared pain is the fastest way to see our shared humanity.
Bring the team together in person whenever possible to help build or strengthen the bonds. Despite the challenges of time zones, use virtual meetings to keep the team connected.
Don’t rely on text communications alone. Too many misunderstandings occur via written messages.
Agree on your technology tools so everyone can collaborate in a streamlined way.

RESOURCES

Webinars on remote work during social distancing: www.mamieks.com/webinarreplays
Free guides on remote work during social distancing: www.mamieks.com/free

mamie@mamieks.com

www.mamieks.com/coaching

www.managerialgreatness.com

[Webinars] March 23 + 24 on Remote Work Mar 19, 2020

Show notes

Coronavirus has drastically impacted our daily lives and how we collaborate with colleagues. Check out these three webinars to help you transition to a high performing virtual team.

www.mamieks.com/webinars

Webinar Bundle includes webinars 1 & 2
$15 for up to 10 team members (free for members of The Modern Manager community)

Webinar 1: Work Productively From Home
Monday March 23, 1-2pm Eastern

Set yourself up for a productive day with these practical strategies for working from home. Get ideas for how to start and end your day, set up your space, minimize distractions, stay focused and more.

Webinar 2: Become a High Performing Virtual Team
Tuesday March 24, 1-2pm Eastern

Learn approaches, tips, and digital collaboration tools that can help your team quickly become a high performing virtual team. This webinar will orient you to best practices for building relationships at a distance, virtual meeting best practices and tools, staying aligned on work, and more.

Invite up to 9 of your colleagues to join at no extra cost!

**Both webinars will include time for Q&A.
**Both webinars will be recorded and shared with all registrants.

Webinar 3: Lead Virtual Meetings with Confidence with cohost Jackie Miller
Tuesday March 24, 4-5:30pm
$40 ($32 for members of The Modern Manager community)

We'll explore techniques designed to help you empower your presence on-camera, assert your voice in web-based meetings, and strengthen your virtual communication, meeting facilitation, and management skills.

www.mamieks.com/webinars

Members of The Modern Manager community can access the discount codes at https://www.mamieks.com/member-bonuses

To become a member, go to www.mamieks.com/join

94: Be a Rockstar Middle Manager with Donald Meador Mar 17, 2020

Show notes

Do you ever feel like you are sandwiched between upper management and your team members? Being a middle manager is tough, especially when you’re feeling the pressures from all sides. Learning to manage up as well as down will make your job much easier, and make you a rockstar middle manager.

Donald Meador has survived mergers, promotions, re-organizations, and downsizing. He is an author, award-winning speaker and the host of the podcast “The Corporate Middle” where he answers the most common middle management questions.

We talk about the challenges of being a middle manager, how to approach autonomy so that it builds confidence and not a sense of desertion, how to manage up when your boss isn’t giving you the support you want, what to do when you’re handed unrealistic expectations, and how to lead your team when you don't believe in the work you’re doing, and how to make your boss successful so that you’re successful.

Read the related blog article: Leading Successfully From The Middle.

Join the Modern Manager community (www.mamieks.com/join) win 1 of 5 copies of Surrounded by Insanity: How to execute bad decisions. You must be a member by April 21, 2020 to be eligible.

You can also win 1 of 5 copies of Start At The End: How to build products that create change. You must be a member by April 14, 2020 to be eligible.

If you work for a nonprofit or government agency, email me at mamie@mamieks.com for 20% off any membership level.

Subscribe to my newsletter to get episodes, articles and free mini-guides delivered to your inbox.

Help me write my new book! I’m researching what makes a manager great to work for. Share your story and experience at www.managerialgreatness.com Help spread the word, too! Share the link with friends and colleagues.

I want to work directly with you! Learn more about my one-on-one coaching services or complete this intake form to see if coaching is the right next step for you. (www.mamieks.com/coaching)

KEY TAKEAWAYS

Being a middle manager is tough because there is no preparation for it and you’re responsible to people above and below you.
Managers, especially senior ones, want you to bring them solutions, not problems.
There will always be firsts for you as a manager (first time firing someone, sharing bad news, etc). If your manager isn’t helpful, find someone who can help you through these situations.
Great managers facilitate their team members to find the answers. They ask questions like ‘what do you think we should do?’ or ‘what are your instincts telling you’. This shows support while providing autonomy.
When going to your boss for advice, come in with a recommendation or options, and ask for their input or perspective. This is a great form of managing up.
If you’re given an assignment with an unrealistic deadline or goal and you’re unable to sway the decision-makers to modify it so that it's attainable, you need to communicate early and often on the status. Share challenges that will inhibit you from accomplishing the goal on time.
People are not logical and we’re terrible at projecting timelines. So it's likely that no matter how often or how strongly you share that the goal will be missed, your boss will still be disappointed.
Sometimes you need to lead your team to do work that you don’t believe in. (unrealistic expectations, poor strategy, etc) Be candid with your team members about the issues you see, but also affirm that the team needs to do its best regardless. By pointing out flaws ahead of time, you minimize the chances that the group will disagree or be deflated.
Look for the one or two perceived benefits of the work. Point out what the group will learn, develop, gain, etc and why it’s worth the effort.
As a manager, it's likely you will make an unrealistic request of your team and some point. Give your team an opportunity to voice their concerns and truly listen. Take their ideas into consideration as they often know more than you do.
Focus on making those around you successful - your team members and your boss. When you make them successful, you’ll be successful.
Understand what your boss cares about so that you can align your work with what they need. Ask your boss what opportunities they see, what they’re excited about.

KEEP UP WITH DONALD

Website: thecorporatemiddle.com/

Book: Surrounded by Insanity

mamie@mamieks.com

93: How Behavioral Psychology Makes You a Better Manager with Matt Wallaert Mar 10, 2020

Show notes

Behavioral psychology has typically been used to help therapists provide effective counseling and designers build better products. But we all can benefit from insights about how our brains work. When we apply these lessons to our own work, we can positively impact our teams and our organizations.

Matt Wallaert is a behavioral scientist working at the intersection of technology and human behavior. A multi-exit entrepreneur and product expert, he is passionate about focusing on behavior as the outcome of everything we build. He is the author of Start at the End: How to build products that create change and no matter where he is, Matt will be in cowboy boots and gesturing wildly.

Matt and I talk about behavioral psychology and what happens when you think about management as a service, how to use promoting and inhibiting pressures to guide behavior and create an ideal environment, how to set objectives and run pilots to measure process and outcomes, and gather learnings and so much more.

Read the related blog article: Try These Behavioral Science Strategies For Managing Team Behavior.

Join the Modern Manager community (www.mamieks.com/join) win 1 of 5 copies of Start At The End: How to build products that create change. You must be a member by April 14, 2020 to be eligible.

If you work for a nonprofit or government agency, email me at mamie@mamieks.com for 20% off any membership level.

Subscribe to my newsletter to get episodes, articles and free mini-guides delivered to your inbox.

I want to work directly with you! Learn more about my one-on-one coaching services or complete this intake form to see if coaching is the right next step for you. (www.mamieks.com/coaching)

KEY TAKEAWAYS

It’s difficult to manage people if you haven’t articulated what behaviors are desired and why.
Promoting pressures make something easier and more likely, while inhibiting pressures make something harder and less likely. As a manager, you can influence behavior by designing promoting and inhibiting pressures.
Develop yourself and others to have both deep expertise and broad interests. Spend time learning in your area of specialty and learning in a wide variety of topics even if they’re unrelated to work.
Collaborate with your team to design tests or experiments for how you make the experience at work better. Be clear about the outcomes the team is responsible for to ensure the experiments support the outcome achievement.
Reflect on the experiments and iterate based on the learnings.
Use both outcome goals and process goals. Outcome goals describe the final state or achievement while process goals describe actions you take.
Measure performance based on outcome goals. Use process goals to help you understand why outcomes are being achieved (or not).
Write a behavioral statement that explains the behavior you desire for which population under what circumstances (motivation and limitations).
Teams struggle to work with other teams when it’s unclear where the boundaries are and who is responsible for what. A behavioral statement can make it easier for everyone to understand your team’s role.
Good standardized processes open up creativity and enable greater autonomy. It reduces the cognitive load on your brain and allows your mental energy to be focused on the important and valuable topics.

KEEP UP WITH MATT

Website: mattwallaert.com
Twitter: @mattwallaert

mamie@mamieks.com

92: Managing Disruptive Behaviors in Meetings Mar 04, 2020

Show notes

You’ve planned a thoughtful agenda, sent materials as pre-work, and done everything in your power to set the meeting up for success. But then...someone takes the conversation off track. Or keeps bringing up old business and wants to rehash a decision. Or won’t stop talking. These disruptive meeting behaviors can make it hard to accomplish even the best planned meeting objectives. Effective meeting leaders are prepared to facilitate through these moments of tension to keep the meeting on track.

The full episode guide includes an overview of five common disruptive behaviors and how to facilitate through them. Get it when you join the Modern Manager community or purchase the full guide atwww.mamieks.com/store.

Get the free mini-guide at www.mamieks.com/miniguides.

Subscribe to my newsletter to get episodes, articles and free mini-guides delivered to your inbox.

Learn more about one-on-one coaching at www.mamieks.com/coaching. I’d love to help you implement the learnings and unleash your potential as a rockstar manager.

Read the related blog article: Put an End to These Disruptive Meeting Behaviors.

Key Takeaways:

Most people aren’t intentionally being disruptive. They’re simply unaware of the impact of their behavior.
By making people self-aware or clarifying expectations, many people will begin to self-regulate.
Disruptive behavior 1: going off on tangents. This happens because the agenda isn’t clear, they’re particularly excited about a topic, or something is on their mind that is holding their attention.
When the conversation goes off track, acknowledge the new topic and suggest returning to the agenda at hand. Offer to schedule a follow up specifically on the open topic and use a backburner to document off-agenda topics for future discussion.
Disruptive behavior 2: hogging the mic. This happens because extraverts talk to think, people struggle with being succinct, and/or time does not feel urgent.
When someone is taking up all the air space, offer to speak with them another time in order to ensure you hear from everyone during this meeting.
Disruptive behavior 3: naysaying or revisiting old content. This happens when something feels unsettled or the person is emotionally distracted.
When someone is naysaying, help them put their work in perspective of the larger effort. Acknowledge their concern and offer to address it outside of the meeting. Reinforce that this meeting has a particular agenda or focus. Include a ‘devil’s advocate time’ on the agenda for everyone to share any concerns.
Disruptive behavior 4: someone is distracted by their technology. This happens when people shouldn’t be in that meeting, they’re bored or have a lot on their mind.
When people are distracted by technology, gently encourage them to put it away inn order to participate. Start by establishing norms for tech use.
If addressing the behavior during the meeting is not effective, talk to the person one-on-one to let them know how their behavior is disruptive to you and/or the team and engage them in finding an appropriate solution.

Additional Resources:

Episode 10: Effective Meetings with Elise Keith

mamie@mamieks.com

91: Making Time for Deep, Focused Work with Jake Kahana Feb 26, 2020

Show notes

We live in a world of distractions. Between the endless buzzes and notifications, and the biological desire for dopamine, it’s almost impossible to expect anyone to concentrate and stay focused for more than 20 minutes. Yet that is exactly what is needed if we want to do deep, meaningful work.

Jake Kahana believes that we can live a healthier life and do our best work by creating structures and environments that combat digital distraction. He is a cofounder of Caveday, a company established to maximize productivity for individuals and corporations through facilitated focus sessions and deep work training. As a founding US faculty member with The School of Life, Jake teaches workshops in emotional intelligence for corporate teams. He speaks at conferences and companies around the world on creating a relationship to our work that is healthy so that our other relationships can thrive.

Jake and I talk about the challenges of dealing with so many distractions, shallow work, good habits, the difference between productivity and accomplishment, creating a distraction-free environment to do deep work, and how to minimize disruptions and create deep work spaces as a team, even if you’re virtual.

Read the related blog article: Master the Lost Art of Concentration by Working Inside the Cave

Join the Modern Manager community (www.mamieks.com/join) to a 10-day free trial of Cave Day.

If you work for a nonprofit or government agency, email me at mamie@mamieks.com for 20% off any membership level.

Subscribe to my newsletter to get episodes, articles and free mini-guides delivered to your inbox.

I want to work directly with you! Learn more about my one-on-one coaching services or complete this intake form to see if coaching is the right next step for you. (www.mamieks.com/coaching)

KEY TAKEAWAYS

We touch our devices up to 5,000 times per day. It’s become habitual. But it’s OK to be bored. It’s OK to let your mind wander.
We spend too much time doing shallow work like checking email, slack, or quick tasks that make us feel like we’re being productive, but ultimately don’t make progress toward goals.
Shallow work feels good in the moment but very unsatisfying at the end of a day, week, or month because nothing important has been accomplished.
Sharon Salzberg offers this idea: Imagine your brain is your mental home. Just like your physical home has a door and you control who enters, you need to control who and what enters your mental home, and when.
Just as you go into your home and expect no one to bother you, you can go into your cave, put away devices, turn off notifications and give yourself the mental break from distractions and freedom to focus.
We actually do better work when we focus and take breaks from being ‘always on and always available.’ It’s not unprofessional to turn on away messages or close down your messaging app for a few hours.
Create your cave by setting up a distraction-free environment. Put your phone in airplane more and out of reach and out of sight. Turn off all notification or close down all non-essential apps.
Clarify what work you will do during your cave time and what you won’t do such as check email. Work in 45 minute segments while in the cave.
Create caves with your team whether you’re in person or virtual. If virtual, get together via video conference during the cave time so you can help hold each other accountable.Share what you’ve accomplished at the end so you can celebrate together.
We do better when we’re in community with others. That’s part of the power of a collective cave. We like being seen and acknowledged by others, and we want to do our best when being observed by others.
Working is not equivalent to sitting in front of a computer. Know what you want to accomplish each day so that you can leave work and give you full attention to your family, self, etc. Because when you have a healthy relationship with your work, you can have healthy relationships in your life.

KEEP UP WITH JAKE

Website: https://www.caveday.org/

Twitter: @jakekahana and @caveday

mamie@mamieks.com

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