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    Education

    The Meaningful Life with Andrew G. Marshall

    Hello, I am a marital therapist, communications trainer and author. I have thirty-five years helping couples and individuals make better relationships. I have written twenty-plus self-help books which include the international best-sellers ‘I love you but I’m not in love with you’ and ‘How can I ever trust you again?’ My books have been translated into twenty languages. I trained with RELATE the UK’s largest counselling charity.

    Perhaps it has been turning sixty but I have become interested in spiritual as well as psychological questions. Who am I? What are my values – as opposed to my parents, my teachers and the wider society? What makes my life meaningful? What do I believe about life, the universe and everything? Although my clients might come to me because of destructive arguments, falling out of love and infidelity, they are also interested in having more meaningful relationships and a more meaningful life.

    So what is the meaningful life? Why do we so easily lose our way and get lost in depression, anxiety, doubt, addictions and obsessions: the swamplands of the soul? One thing I know for sure is that there is not one answer. Each of us has to find out for ourselves what makes our life meaningful. But we can learn from each other, share our experiences of how to navigate the journey, how to endure and learn from the swamp, and finally how to find solid ground.

    I have decided to use my original training in radio and journalism to interview witnesses for what makes life meaningful. Each week, I invite someone who is a therapist, academic, self-help coach or who has an enlightening personal story to share their knowledge or experiences. I hope our discussions will help you discover what makes your life meaningful and find more purpose and contentment.

    Advertise

    Copyright: © Copyright 2022 All rights reserved.

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    Latest Episodes:
    George Mumford: The Power of Mindfulness: How to Investigate Your Pain Apr 04, 2022
    Show notes

    “Within your mind, body and soul YOU have an untapped potential that wants to be unleashed. It calls to you in your dreams and whispers to you when your mind goes silent. It is relentless because it knows you are capable of more than you give yourself credit for” (George Mumford)

    George Mumford used his insights into pain, mindfulness and performance to enrich the careers of athletes including Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant and Shaquille O’Neal.

    George then realised that his ideas could help people “from locker rooms to board rooms, Yale to jail”, and so took his work beyond the sporting arena, including writing a book, The Mindful Athlete.

    In this episode, Andrew and George discuss mindfulness, George’s journey through pain and addiction, and George’s five superpowers:

    ⚡️Mindfulness

    ⚡️Concentration

    ⚡️Insight

    ⚡️Right Effort

    ⚡️Trust

    Follow Up

    Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.

    Read George Mumford’s book, The Mindful Athlete

    Take The Mindful Athlete course

    Subscribe to George Mumford’s YouTube channel

    Follow George Mumford on Twitter @gtmumford and on Facebook

    Read Andrew’s advice on keeping a journal of your life and emotions

    Get Andrew’s advice on creating real change in your life and relationships in his book Wake Up and Change Your Life: How to Survive a Crisis and Be Stronger, Wiser and Happier

    Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall



    Paul Attinello: What is Your Relationship with Death and Mortality? Mar 28, 2022
    Show notes

    Some of us try our best never to think about death, while some of us “live in death’s basement”. Composer, academic and psychoanalyst Paul Attinello lived through the suffering and loss of the AIDS epidemic of the 1980s. After testing positive for HIV, he built a creative and achievement-filled life, over which death nevertheless always loomed.

    Then, the advent of lifesaving medications changed everything. Paul had to define a whole new relationship with mortality, as well as experiencing a profound sense of loss for what life might have been like without the spectre of HIV.

    In this episode, Andrew and Paul discuss music, psychoanalysis, and the different ways humans live with the knowledge of their own mortality.

    Paul Attinello is an academic and psychoanalyst based in Newcastle University’s International Centre for Music Studies. He also taught at the University of Hong Kong and UCLA, living and working on four continents in the past three decades.

    Follow Up

    Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.

    Find out more about Paul Attinello's work and writing here

    Take a look at Paul Attinello’s research work

    Watch Psychosocial Wednesdays, a YouTube channel hosted by Paul Attinello and his colleagues. It offers weekly salons on Jungian ideas and other aspects of psychoanalysis.

    Read Andrew’s memoir on grieving the loss of his partner, My Mourning Year

    Get Andrew’s advice on creating real change in your life and relationships in his book Wake Up and Change Your Life: How to Survive a Crisis and Be Stronger, Wiser and Happier:



    Terry Real: The Five Traps that Undermine Your Love & One Simple Solution Mar 21, 2022
    Show notes

    Is society setting you up to fail in your marriage? World-renowned relationship therapist Terry Real sees a toxic culture of individualism troubling society at every level.

    We are told to strive for personal productivity and perfection, ignoring the fact that we exist in a web of crucial relationships.

    In this episode, Terry describes research showing that the mind exists in a social context, and that couples in fact co-regulate each other’s nervous systems.

    Getting this right is very tricky, though, if you grew up without enough emotional support. The survival strategies that got you through childhood may, in fact, “torch your personal relationships”.

    Andrew and Terry discuss the five most common traps that can undermine your relationship:

    🚩 Needing to be right

    🚩 Controlling your partner

    🚩 Unbridled self-expression

    🚩 Retaliation

    🚩 Shutting down

    We can overcome these, however, by tapping into our wiser, more collaborative self. If we can find the “us” rather than the “I”, we can achieve the warmer, more intimate relationships many of us long for.

    Follow Up

    Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.

    Buy Terry Real’s new book Us: Getting Past You & Me to Build a More Loving Relationship(out 22 March 2022).

    Take a look at Terry Real’s other books, including The New Rules of Marriage and How Can I Get Through to You?

    Visit Terry Real’s website https://terryreal.com

    Follow Terry Real on Facebook and YouTube @TerryRealRLI

    Read Andrew’s blog “Three Secrets of a Happy Relationship”

    Read Andrew’s book Can We Start Again Please? Twenty Questions to Fall Back in Love

    Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall



    Thom Rutledge: Embracing Fear in Four Steps Mar 14, 2022
    Show notes

    Lots of us are afraid of the very word: fear. We’d rather say anxiety, or worry, or panic.

    Yet according to Thom Rutledge, fear underlies most difficult emotions, and is a close companion to shame. Fear plays into just about every decision we ever make in our lives.

    To defeat fear, according to Thom, is neither possible nor desirable. Instead we need to live beyond its control, and to understand it. Rather than squashing down the voices of panic and dread, we can face up to them, explore them and respond.

    In this episode Andrew and Thom explore:

    ✅ The meaning of fear

    ✅ How we can understand fear in our own lives

    ✅ How our family background shapes our experience of fear

    ✅ Four ways we can start to “embrace fear”.

    Thom Rutledge has been a psychotherapist for more than 40 years and is the author of several books, including Embracing Fear, The Self-Forgiveness Handbook, Earning Your Own Respect, The Greater Possibilities and What Love Is. He draws on professional training and experience as well as his own personal experience in recovery and personal growth to work with his clients.

    Thom and his colleague, Dr. Allen Berger, co-host their own weekly podcast, Emotional Sobriety.


    Follow Up

    Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.

    Visit Thom Rutledge’s website

    Read Thom Rutledge’s books, including Embracing Fear.

    Listen to Emotional Sobriety, a podcast co-hosted by Thom Rutledge and Dr Allen Berger.

    Follow Thom Rutledge on Twitter @ThomRutledge

    Read Andrew’s blog on how keeping a journal can help deal with difficult emotions: Top Twelve Benefits of Journaling

    If anxiety is a topic of interest for you, you may also enjoy Andrew’s conversation with Richard Paterson: No More Overthinking

    Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall



    Dr Mairi Macleod: Finding a Good Man in Midlife Mar 07, 2022
    Show notes

    “So he’s become the real love of my life. But if I’d been following my old ways of looking for men I wouldn’t have noticed him”.

    If you’re following your heart and trusting to the universe in your search for midlife love, you may need to take a step back and rethink your approach.

    This week’s guest, Dr Mairi Macleod, is the founder of Dating Evolved, a science-based dating consultancy. Mairi helps women look for partners in a more thoughtful and successful way. We are often told to “trust your gut” when it comes to relationships, but Mairi explains why this approach can be unrewarding.

    In this episode, she describes to Andrew how her own love life was going somewhat disastrously, and how this inspired her to use her training as an evolutionary biologist to create a science-based strategy to find a partner.

    Andrew and Mairi also discuss confidence, enjoying the journey and having a good hard think about why you’re attracted to a certain kind of person.

    Dr Mairi Macleod is an evolutionary biologist, consultant, speaker, and science writer. She runs online programs and coaches women in small groups to help them build happy, loving relationships.

    Follow Up

    Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.

    Join Mairi Macleod's free Masterclass: "Getting Ready for Successful Dating - for Women over 50" on April 4th at 7pm BST

    You can find out about Mairi’s Dating Evolved programs, read her blog, and sign up for her upcoming Free Masterclass at https://www.datingevolved.com

    If you’d like to read Mairi’s “5 Science-Based Ways to Find the Man You Need”, download your free e-copy here

    Join the Dating Evolved Facebook Community and ask all your dating questions.

    Follow Mairi Macleod on Twitter @dr_mairi and on Facebook @MairiMacleodPhD

    Read Andrew’s book The Happy Couple’s Handbook: Powerful Life Hacks for a Successful Relationship

    You may also enjoy Andrew’s conversation with Cate Mackenzie on the art of flirting

    Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall



    Simon Roe: Are You Leading a Life of Quiet Desperation? Feb 28, 2022
    Show notes

    “The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation” (Henry Thoreau).

    Therapist Simon Roe has based his life’s work on helping men live an authentic life. After himself going through a period of quiet desperation in his mid-thirties, Simon went on to help men break the silence, find “the song inside” and overcome their experiences of depression, violence and loneliness.

    Simon has also worked extensively with boys and their fathers to create rites of passage that can help boys claim a strong, authentic sense of their developing manhood.

    Simon Roe originally trained as a body psychotherapist, and is also a co-leader of the Mandorla Men’s Rites of Passage programme. He has worked extensively with perpetrators of domestic violence, and is a Respect approved trainer and supervisor. Simon has completed a foundation course in Process Oriented Psychology.

    Simon and Andrew also discuss the idea of answering “the call to adventure”, an idea powerfully captured in this poem by Rainer Maria Rilke:

    Sometimes A Man Stands Up During Supper

    Sometimes a man stands up during supper

    and walks outdoors, and keeps on walking,

    because of a church that stands somewhere in the East.

    And his children say blessings on him as if he were dead.

    And another man, who remains inside his own house,

    dies there, inside the dishes and in the glasses,

    so that his children have to go far out into the world

    toward that same church , which he forgot.

    Follow Up

    I'll be attending a workshop on masculinity in times of change and crisis with Simon Roe & his colleague William Ayot in Feb/Mar 2023. I'd love you to join us. Details are here

    Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.

    Visit Simon Roe’s website

    Learn about the Kingfisher Project, a community dedicated to rites of passage for boys aged 13-16.

    Get Andrew’s advice on creating real change in your life and relationships in his book Wake Up and Change Your Life: How to Survive a Crisis and Be Stronger, Wiser and Happier

    Read Andrew’s thoughts on what to do if you or your partner feel like you’re in the throes of what society would call a midlife crisis

    Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall



    Amanda Seyderhelm: How Can Children and Adults Cope With Childhood Grief? Feb 21, 2022
    Show notes

    How can we help our children understand grief and loss? How can we recover as adults, if no-one helped us make sense of grief and loss as a child?

    Amanda Seyderhelm is an expert in innovative creative play therapy for children, and the author of a book called Helping Children Cope with Loss and Change. Amanda changed careers to work in play therapy after a life-threatening illness changed everything for her.

    In this episode Amanda and Andrew discuss:

    🌈 How to talk to children who are grieving.

    🌈 How storytelling plays a part in personal and family grief.

    🌈 Your “backpack of grief”: what’s inside, and how it’s affecting your life.

    🌈 How children & adults learn to “grow around their grief” rather than recovering.

    Follow Up

    Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.

    Take a look at Amanda Seyderhelm’s website

    Buy Amanda Seyderhelm’s book Helping Children Cope with Loss and Change at a 20% discount for The Meaningful Life listeners. Just use code FLA22 at checkout.

    Follow Amanda Seyderhelm on Twitter @TheKidDecoder on Instagram @amandaseyderhelm and on LinkedIn.

    Read The Hero’s Journey: Joseph Campbell on his Life and Work

    Read Continuing Bonds: New Understandings of Grief by Dennis Klass

    If you’re interested in diving deep into parenting, listen to Lisa Marchiano of the This Jungian Life podcast speaking with Andrew about meaning and motherhood.

    Get Andrew’s advice on creating real change in your life and relationships in his book Wake Up and Change Your Life: How to Survive a Crisis and Be Stronger, Wiser and Happier.

    Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall



    Dr. Kathleen Smith: Make Anxiety Your Friend Feb 14, 2022
    Show notes

    If you could write a letter to your own anxiety, what would it say? This is just one of the ways therapist Dr Kathleen Smith befriends her anxiety and in the process, moves it into the back seat of her life.

    If you can’t sleep, can’t focus and are constantly pushing down the frustrations you experience in your relationships, you will know that you probably need to deal with your anxiety.

    In this episode, Andrew and Kathleen discuss how to go about doing this, and the paramount importance of observing and understanding before leaping into action.

    Kathleen Smith is a therapist and author from Washington D.C. She writes the Anxious Overachiever newsletter on Substack, and is the author of Everything Isn’t Terrible, a new book about anxiety. She is a graduate of Harvard and George Washington Universities, and has written for publications including The New York Times, The Washington Post and Psychology Today. Kathleen has a private therapy practice in Washington, DC, and is the host of the TV show Family Matters, produced by the University of the District of Columbia.

    Follow Up

    Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.

    Buy Kathleen Smith’s book Everything Isn’t Terrible: Conquer Your Insecurities, Interrupt Your Anxieties and Finally Calm Down

    Take a look at Kathleen Smith’s website

    Read Kathleen Smith’s Substack newsletter The Anxious Overachiever

    Follow Kathleen Smith on Twitter @fangirltherapy and on Facebook @kathleensmithwrites

    Read Andrew’s blog on how keeping a journal can improve your life: Top Twelve Benefits of Journaling

    If anxiety is a topic of interest, you may also enjoy Andrew’s conversation with Richard Paterson: No More Overthinking

    Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall



    Shani Silver: A New Perspective on Being Single Feb 07, 2022
    Show notes

    “Don’t look for a match - light one”: being single needs to stop being seen as failure, and start being viewed as a fulfilling, meaningful, loving life choice. Shani Silver’s new book, The Single Revolution, is all about changing your mindset and embracing the single existence.

    In this episode Shani and Andrew discuss the emotionally exhausting and often dangerous world of online dating. After realising that dating apps were adding nothing to her life, Shani deleted them all from her phone and has spent the last three years writing about singlehood, and supporting the many people out there fed up with the stigma of being single.

    As Shani writes, “We aren’t here on Earth to struggle through singlehood for years on end. We’re allowed to live a whole lot more than that”. Shani’s work is all about creating an authentic, happy life in which “finding someone” is not the primary purpose.

    Shani Silver is an author and podcaster based in New Orleans. She has been featured on NPR and the BBC discussing what it means to be single. Shani hosts the podcast A Single Serving and her latest book is The Single Revolution. Shani’s podcast subscribers are also able to join her Facebook group and community.

    Follow Up

    Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.

    Buy Shani Silver’s book, The Single Revolution: Don’t Look for a Match, Light One

    Listen to Shani Silver’s podcast, A Single Serving

    Take a look at Shani Silver’s website

    Follow Shani Silver on Twitter and Instagram @shanisilver

    Get Andrew’s advice on creating real change in your life and relationships in his book Wake Up and Change Your Life: How to Survive a Crisis and Be Stronger, Wiser and Happier

    Read Andrew’s blog on how to start keeping a journal

    Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall



    Julia Paulette Hollenbery: Self Care: Seven Medicines for Healing from Trauma (and Life in General) Jan 31, 2022
    Show notes

    Many of us are brought up to see sacrifice and exhaustion as the route to success. Julia Paulette Hollenbery’s mission is to help us all realise that in fact “pleasure is the essential nourishment you need for productive work, happy relationships and vibrant health”.

    Julia also believes that pleasure is not hard to find. There is an abundance of pleasure available to us all, in every moment and with every interaction. What Julia describes as “the universe of deliciousness” is everywhere around us.

    In this episode Andrew and Julia discuss the healing power of pleasure, including Julia’s seven medicines to heal and to rediscover the innate pleasure of being. Andrew and Julia talk about recovering from trauma, and the extent to which society pushes us to live in our minds rather than our bodies.

    Julia Paulette Hollenbery is a body therapist and author. She has a degree in English Literature and is trained in the Grinberg Method of Bodywork, Biodynamic Craniosacral Therapy, and Family Constellations (a kind of body psychotherapy).

    Follow Up

    Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.

    Read Julia Paulette Hollenbery’s book The Healing Power of Pleasure: Seven Medicines for Rediscovering the Innate Joy of Being

    Take a look at Julia Paulette Hollenbery’s website

    Follow Julia on Twitter @JuliaHollenbery, on Facebook @juliapaulettehollenbery and on Instagram @julia.paulette.hollenbery

    Listen to Andrew’s discussion with therapist Fenella Hansen on “Dealing with Trauma”

    Get Andrew’s advice on creating real change in your life and relationships in his book Wake Up and Change Your Life: How to Survive a Crisis and Be Stronger, Wiser and Happier: https://bit.ly/wakeupandchange

    Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall



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