Stay ConnectedNo-nonsense advice on sex, love, relationships, and dating for hopeful romantics, love cynics, and everyone navigating modern love, hosted by Love Coach Shaun Galanos.
The Love Drive is for women tired of toxic love advice and men who want to do better. The antidote to the red pill manosphere, we’re making emotional intelligence, honest communication, and healthy masculinity cool again.
Copyright: © Copyright 2021 All rights reserved.
Three questions this week:
How do you get out there and date when you feel like shit about yourself? How do you get over rejection fatigue? And: I can’t ever orgasm with a man, I think I’m in my head too much.
I recorded this tired, a little sick, and not feeling great, which turned out to be the right state to answer them from.
In here: why “work on yourself first, then date” is backward, and the name for why (sociometer theory, which says self-esteem is a gauge rather than a tank you fill). Why rejection genuinely hurts, physically, and why resting might just be what the (love) doctor ordered. Why I refuse to return a shopping cart at Lowe’s. And spectatoring, which Masters and Johnson named in the sixties and which might be the most useful word in this episode if you’ve ever caught yourself watching yourself have sex instead of having sex.
One ask this week: send me your questions. This whole episode is made of them, so without you there’s no episode.
thelovedrive.com/ask, podcast@thelovedrive.com, or leave me a voicemail at 415-494-9559. Voicemails are my favourite.
Connect with me:
Read my blog: https://shaungalanos.substack.com
The Love Drive Podcast: https://shaungalanos.com/podcast/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thelovedrive/
More About Shaun: https://shaungalanos.com/about/
Buy me a coffee: https://buymeacoffee.com/thelovedrive
Three questions this week, and I get personal on all of them.
Should you put an HSV2 diagnosis in your dating profile? I’ve had herpes for about five years, so I’ll tell you what’s actually happened to my dating life, what I say before sex, and the one thing Dan Savage told me that made it a non-issue.
Do men care about hemorrhoids, or what your vulva looks like, or the few pounds you’ve gained? I’m honest about this one instead of reassuring. I also found out hemorrhoids can be a pleasure thing, which nobody told me either.
And someone asked how my relationship to uncertainty has changed over the years. I’ve been thinking about my friend Josh, who got diagnosed in February and died in June. I’m scared about something in my own life right now, and I talk about what I do with that, which is mostly: relax, take it easy, one day at a time.
Mentions:
Good Sex Is Reciprocal with Dan Savage:
https://youtu.be/IeiACE2rGmg?si=4IdvOR9XKEDL-yaJ
Send me your questions at https://thelovedrive.com/ask/
Email: podcast@thelovedrive.com
Leave me a voicemail: 415-494-9559
Voicemails are my favorite.
Connect with me
Read my blog:
https://shaungalanos.substack.com
The Love Drive Podcast:
https://shaungalanos.com/podcast/
Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/thelovedrive/
More about Shaun:
https://shaungalanos.com/about/
Buy me a coffee:
https://buymeacoffee.com/thelovedrive
I'm tired. This house renovation is taking a lot out of me, and I'm really looking forward to having more time and energy for the things I love. Including sitting down and having these conversations with you.
Today, I've got a handful of your questions, and they all seem to come back to the same thing. Sometimes people tell us exactly what they mean, and we keep looking for a different answer.
He says he loves you but can't commit. Is it the right person at the wrong time? If you're having doubts, does that mean something's wrong? And what happens when everything feels right, but you're still scared?
We get into mixed signals, commitment, rejection, long-distance relationships, and the fear of letting someone in.
I also share a few stories from my own experiences, and somewhere along the way, I stumble onto something I might need to unpack in therapy.
Maybe the hardest part of love isn't hearing no. Maybe it's accepting the answer we've been given.
And what if the thing you're most afraid of isn't rejection at all?
Leave a Listener Question 📞 415-494-9559 📧 podcast@thelovedrive.com
Follow & Subscribe If this episode moved you, share it with someone who needs it. Word of mouth is everything for an independent podcast.
Connect with me:
Read my blog: https://shaungalanos.substack.com
The Love Drive Podcast: https://shaungalanos.com/podcast/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thelovedrive/
More About me: https://shaungalanos.com/about/
Buy me a coffee: https://buymeacoffee.com/thelovedrive
Joe called in from Spain. She's 48, dating younger men, and she's noticed a pattern.
"I thought it was me. I thought it was a desirability thing, and I took it personally."
She isn't the problem.
We get into whether erectile dysfunction is an age thing, what's actually going on mechanically, why an erection can be an early warning sign for your heart, condoms, SSRIs, sleep, booze, nicotine, exercise, and the stuff that actually helps versus the stuff the internet sells you.
I also talk about my own libido, or lack thereof!
What should women understand about men and their bodies? And what's the kindest possible way to bring it up without it landing as shame?
Here's the short version: If you're a man and this is happening, it's your job to raise it. Stop making her do it.
It was never about the erection. It's about what happens when someone tries to talk to you about it. Do you shut down, get defensive, retaliate? Or can you say, "Thank you for telling me. I don't know how to talk about this, and I want to try"?
Only about 15% of my audience is men, so the guy who needs this probably isn't going to find it on his own. Send it to him. Your partner, your brother, your friend.
Mentioned in this episode
Want to go deeper? My full conversation with sex and relationship coach Laura Ramadei on performance anxiety, porn, and erectile dysfunction is on my Substack.
Listen to the full conversation here:
https://shaungalanos.substack.com/p/replay-porn-addiction-and-ed-with
Got a question?
Leave me a voicemail at 415-494-9559, and I might play it on the show!
Or submit your question here:
https://thelovedrive.com/ask/
Follow & subscribe
If this episode moved you, share it with someone who needs it. Word of mouth is everything for an independent podcast.
Connect with me
Read my blog:
https://shaungalanos.substack.com/
The Love Drive Podcast:
https://shaungalanos.com/podcast/
Instagram: @thelovedrive
https://www.instagram.com/thelovedrive/
More about me:
https://shaungalanos.com/about/
Buy me a coffee:
https://buymeacoffee.com/thelovedrive
I don't think heartbreak is something we get over. It's something we move through. This episode is built around your questions: "I've cried in public more than once; should I just stay home?" (Fuck no.) "How do I stop ruminating when all my coping skills are gone?" And the comment that hit closest to home: "I really want to be chosen."
I discuss inviting your feelings in for tea and then putting a limit on them, why the person who hurt you can't be the person who heals you, playing the tape forward, why we keep wanting to be chosen by the exact people who can't choose us, and the friendship test for exes.
"God breaks the heart again and again and again until it stays open." – Hazrat Inayat Khan
Links:
Living with a broken heart
https://shaungalanos.substack.com/p/living-with-a-broken-heart?utm_source=publication-search
Can you really be friends with your ex?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j7bGPBULarE
Coaching with me
https://thelovedrive.com/coaching
Connect with me:
Read my blog
https://shaungalanos.substack.com
The Love Drive Podcast
https://shaungalanos.com/podcast/
Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/thelovedrive/
More About Shaun
https://shaungalanos.com/about/
Buy me a coffee
https://buymeacoffee.com/thelovedrive
I’m back with new episodes, and I’m really happy to be here. The house isn’t ready yet, but I’m feeling better and I have a lot to share with you.
Today, I’m letting you in on a little of that life and answering your questions about ghosting, dental dams, trying new things in bed, and being curious about dating women. And if you’ve ever wondered how I decide what to share with you, there’s a lot you don’t hear and a reason I wait.
Leave a Listener Question
📞 415-494-9559 📧 podcast@thelovedrive.com
Follow & Subscribe
If this episode moved you, share it with someone who needs it. Word of mouth is everything for an independent podcast.
Connect with me
In this 2019 replay, I tell the story of my first real sex party and then the woman I met that night joins me to share her side.
It’s explicit, funny, tender, and ultimately a story about attraction, assumptions, communication, and finding the courage to say what you want.
New episodes return in October.
Have a question for the podcast?
Leave me a voicemail at 415-494-9559
Submit your question at thelovedrive.com/ask
Follow & Subscribe
If this episode moved you, share it with someone who needs it. Word of mouth is everything for an independent podcast.
Connect with me
(Replay from 2020)
What happens when one person wants sex more often than the other?
In this conversation with sex educator Kai Werder, we talk about mismatched libidos, responsive vs. spontaneous desire, how to talk about sex without pressure, and why intimacy doesn’t always have to lead to sex.
We also get into scheduling play, creating the conditions for desire, and the three-part invite—one of my favorite ways to ask for what you want while making room for a no.
New episodes of The Love Drive return in October.
Got a question for the October Q&As?
https://thelovedrive.com/ask/
Further reading
Come Together - Emily Nagoski
Come As You Are - Emily Nagoski
Mating in Captivity - Esther Perel
Also mentioned
Authentic Seduction Skills with Dr. Alison Ash — this is where I learned the three-part invite.
Listen to Authentic Seduction Skills with Dr. Alison Ash
Follow & Subscribe
If this episode moved you, share it with someone who needs it. Word of mouth is everything for an independent podcast.
Connect with me
Read the blog: https://shaungalanos.substack.com
The Love Drive Podcast: https://shaungalanos.com/podcast/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thelovedrive/
More about me: https://shaungalanos.com/about/
I'm sharing some of my favorite episodes throughout September, and this replay is a peek into a part of my life I don't talk about very often: my time giving erotic massage to women in San Francisco.
A friend asks me how it started, what actually happened in those sessions, and what it eventually cost me. About a third of my clients cried on the table. Most of them weren't starved for sex. They were touch-starved, and I don't think that's changed much.
We talk about touch, trust, and what can happen when you let yourself receive without giving anything back. There's a turn about halfway through. I'm not going to spoil it.
This is a replay from 2019. New episodes return in October. Got something you want me to answer in a future Q&A? Leave it at https://thelovedrive.com/ask/
Mentions: Aphrodite's Daughters Book
Follow & Subscribe
If this episode moved you, share it with someone who needs it. Word of mouth is everything for an independent podcast.
Connect with me
I’ve missed being here. The last month has taken me somewhere I wasn’t quite expecting, and I wanted to check in and tell you a little about where I’ve been.
This week is a little life update on what I’ve been building, why I’m giving myself a little more time before coming back with new episodes, and what this season of my life is starting to look like.
I’m also sharing what’s next for The Love Drive - and why I’m more excited than ever about where this podcast is headed.
For now, consider this a little update from me before we get into three of my favorite episodes from the Love Drive archives.
Connect with Shaun:
Read my blog: https://shaungalanos.substack.com
The Love Drive Podcast: https://shaungalanos.com/podcast/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thelovedrive/
More About Shaun: https://shaungalanos.com/about/
Buy me a coffee: https://buymeacoffee.com/thelovedrive
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