The Lonely Diplomat

Ep. 72 - Join us for something great Feb 16, 2024

This is a bittersweet episode, because – well – after 72 episodes over 4.5 years and with 30,000 listens in almost 200 countries, this is the final episode of The Lonely Diplomat podcast. But don’t despair! The podcast, the blog and the products and services for you and all those who live the diplomatic life will still be available to support you. My team and I have started something wonderful called HUMANS:Connecting, and we’d like to invite you to be a part of it. Website: https://www.thelonelydiplomat.com Be supported through your loneliness: https://www.thelonelydiplomat.com/products Buy me a coffee to say thanks for the episode: https://bit.ly/3nDMrZm See you at HUMANS:Connecting: https://www.humansconnecting.org

Ep. 71 - Stop pushing through your loneliness Sep 01, 2023

What do you do when you’re experiencing one of life’s challenges? Do you acknowledge it and work through it or do you just push through? When it comes to loneliness, just pushing through comes at a terrible cost and you’re paying it blindly. Let’s talk about the pitfalls of your all-too-common strategy in this final episode of this season of The Lonely Diplomat podcast. Website: https://www.thelonelydiplomat.com Get my help through your loneliness: https://www.thelonelydiplomat.com/services Buy me a coffee to say thanks for the episode: https://bit.ly/3nDMrZm Join the mailing list: https://www.thelonelydiplomat.com/subscribe

Ep. 70 - Coming out as lonely Sep 01, 2023

If it’s not already clear: I’m Phil. I’m gay and I get lonely. I come out as gay all the time. I also come out as lonely all the time. Coming out as lonely is tough. It’s often far easier for me to come out as gay than it is to come out as lonely. Let’s talk about coming out as lonely as the only way to break loneliness’ hold on your thoughts and behaviours. Website: https://www.thelonelydiplomat.com Get my help through your loneliness: https://www.thelonelydiplomat.com/services Buy me a coffee to say thanks for the episode: https://bit.ly/3nDMrZm Join the mailing list: https://www.thelonelydiplomat.com/subscribe

Ep. 69 - Denying loneliness denies connection Sep 01, 2023

This sounds a bit weird, but the connection you need and deserve: the soul-nourishing, toe-curling connection you need and deserve is waiting for you. All you need to do is to accept your loneliness and learn from it. Let’s talk about how you can do that. Website: https://www.thelonelydiplomat.com Get my help through your loneliness: https://www.thelonelydiplomat.com/services Buy me a coffee to say thanks for the episode: https://bit.ly/3nDMrZm Join the mailing list: https://www.thelonelydiplomat.com/subscribe

Ep. 68 - Stop comparing your loneliness Sep 01, 2023

Stop competing against other people’s loneliness. Or, in other words, stop comparing your loneliness to anyone else’s. All you’re doing is manufacturing evidence that the loneliness you’re experiencing isn’t THAT bad and you can go on figuring it out by yourself. My friend: this episode can change your life. Website: https://www.thelonelydiplomat.com Get my help through your loneliness: https://www.thelonelydiplomat.com/services Buy me a coffee to say thanks for the episode: https://bit.ly/3nDMrZm Join the mailing list: https://www.thelonelydiplomat.com/subscribe

Ep. 67 - You're not broken, you're human Aug 25, 2023

The thoughts and feelings of loneliness can make you feel like you’re a broken human. But I know this to be true: loneliness doesn’t make you a broken, failed human. It makes you gloriously human. Let’s talk about that in this short episode that’s designed to give your mind, your heart and your soul a quick connection boost as you – a human who’s a diplomat or lives the diplomatic life – go about your day. Website: https://www.thelonelydiplomat.com Get my help through your loneliness: https://www.thelonelydiplomat.com/services Buy me a coffee to say thanks for the episode: https://bit.ly/3nDMrZm Join the mailing list: https://www.thelonelydiplomat.com/subscribe

Ep. 66 - The loneliness of abusive relationships Aug 11, 2023

We’re exploring a tough topic in this episode: we’re exploring that awful kind of loneliness we humans can get when we’re in an abusive relationship. In any relationship that’s abusive. At home, at work. Join me for episode 66 of The Lonely Diplomat podcast and let’s talk about the hidden abuse in diplomacy. Website: https://www.thelonelydiplomat.com Get my help through your loneliness: https://www.thelonelydiplomat.com/services Buy me a coffee to say thanks for the episode: https://bit.ly/3nDMrZm Articles mentioned in this episode: Sydney Morning Herald: https://www.smh.com.au/politics/federal/end-slavery-in-canberra-embassies-salvation-army-20180803-p4zvfc.html 4 Corners: https://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-02-12/domestic-staff-inside-canberra-embassies-being-exploited/9418920 Australian Human Rights Commission: https://humanrights.gov.au/our-work/employers/workplace-discrimination-harassment-and-bullying Join the mailing list: https://www.thelonelydiplomat.com/subscribe

Ep. 65 - The loneliness pool Jul 28, 2023

I’m very visual, so I often think of loneliness as a pool. There are many ways to enter the pool, but once you’re in, you’re in. How did you enter the loneliness pool? How did you find yourself experiencing loneliness? Let’s have a quick chat about that. Join me now for episode 65 of The Lonely Diplomat podcast and let’s talk about your loneliness as you live your diplomatic life. Website: https://www.thelonelydiplomat.com Get my help through your loneliness: https://www.thelonelydiplomat.com/services Buy me a coffee to say thanks for the episode: https://bit.ly/3nDMrZm Join the mailing list: https://www.thelonelydiplomat.com/subscribe

Ep. 64 - Life as a diplobrat - a chat with Toby Jul 14, 2023

Grown-ups, it’s time to listen. It’s time to listen to those smart, engaged and observant young people in our lives like 16-year-old Toby who also live the diplomatic life. Listen to what the young people are saying. Listen to what they’re not saying. Listen to what they’re trying to say without getting anyone in trouble. Listen to those who witness and live everything but have no voice. Simply listen. Join me and the wonderful Toby for episode 64 of The Lonely Diplomat podcast and let’s talk about the highs and lows of being a diplobrat. Website: https://www.thelonelydiplomat.com Get my help through your loneliness: https://www.thelonelydiplomat.com/services Buy me a coffee to say thanks for the episode: https://bit.ly/3nDMrZm Toby’s Discord for teenage diplobrats: https://discord.gg/Sk2BH8vN Join the mailing list: https://www.thelonelydiplomat.com/subscribe

Ep. 63 - Relationships & diplomacy Jun 30, 2023

During your diplomatic life, you’ve likely encountered the demands of diplomacy on your relationships, be those relationships those with your family, your friends OR your significant others. Let’s talk about how these demands can feed your loneliness. Join me now for episode 64 of The Lonely Diplomat podcast and let’s talk about your loneliness as you live your diplomatic life. Website: https://www.thelonelydiplomat.com Get my help through your loneliness: https://www.thelonelydiplomat.com/services Buy me a coffee to say thanks for the episode: https://bit.ly/3nDMrZm Join the mailing list: https://www.thelonelydiplomat.com/subscribe

Ep. 62 - Beware the overshare Jun 16, 2023

You MUST speak your loneliness if you are to learn from it and move towards getting the connection you need. But, beware the loneliness overshare. We can be quick to share our loneliness story with anyone with whom we feel seen, heard or that we belong. They may not be ready for that. Join me now for episode 62 of The Lonely Diplomat podcast and let’s talk about your loneliness as you live your diplomatic life. Website: https://www.thelonelydiplomat.com Get my help through your loneliness: https://www.thelonelydiplomat.com/services Buy me a coffee to say thanks for the episode: https://bit.ly/3nDMrZm Join the mailing list: https://www.thelonelydiplomat.com/subscribe

Ep. 61 - You're not alone Jun 02, 2023

I don’t know about your loneliness, but when I feel lonely, I often feel as if I’m the only person in the world who’s thinking these horrible thoughts and feeling these feelings. Of course, that’s crap. But do you experience these kinds of thoughts and feelings, too? Join me now for Episode 61 of The Lonely Diplomat podcast and let’s talk about loneliness in diplomacy. Website: https://www.thelonelydiplomat.com Get my help through your loneliness: https://www.thelonelydiplomat.com/services Buy me a coffee to say thanks for the episode: https://bit.ly/3nDMrZm Join the mailing list: https://www.thelonelydiplomat.com/subscribe

Ep. 60 - Why loneliness? Why me? May 19, 2023

Welcome to a new format for The Lonely Diplomat podcast: quick connection boosts of 10 minutes or less. In this first short episode we’re going to talk about my answer to a common question I receive: Why loneliness? Why me? Join me now for Episode 60 of The Lonely Diplomat podcast and let’s talk about loneliness in diplomacy. Website: https://www.thelonelydiplomat.com Get my help through your loneliness: https://www.thelonelydiplomat.com/services Buy me a coffee to say thanks for the episode: https://bit.ly/3nDMrZm Join the mailing list: https://www.thelonelydiplomat.com/subscribe

Ep. 59 - Getting to know us - with Jeff Bartlett May 05, 2023

Come and join me and my beautiful partner Jeff for a chat about him, me and us. Jeff and I recorded some magic in this episode. The conversation went in a direction that I hadn’t really intended it. But as is so often the case when conversations are real, open and honest, it went where it needed to go: we spoke on how loneliness has shown up in our lives and how it’s fuelled connection for each of us, how we came to live together, and how each of us approaches life individually and as part of this team. The episode was so much better for it. Links: Join us on YouTube: https://youtu.be/0KbyPdRvL-c Have Phil’s guidance through your loneliness: https://www.thelonelydiplomat.com/services Website: https://www.thelonelydiplomat.com Join the mailing list: https://www.thelonelydiplomat.com/subscribe

Ep. 58 - Your life audit Apr 14, 2023

Are you inadvertently feeding connection and starving loneliness? Let's check. It’s time to sharpen your pencil and set aside a few moments to do a couple of audits that will really help you feel better connected to yourself, to those most important to you and to your communities. I know that the word ‘audit’ can make even the most stoney-faced diplomat roll their eyes, groan and harrumph like a disappointed teenager. What you do with these words and the exercises within can give you helpful information about the state of your health and well-being. Come and join me for a real conversation about improving your social health. Links: Send me your question: admin@thelonelydiplomat.com Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.com Blog: ‘Your life audit’ - https://www.thelonelydiplomat.com/post/your-life-audit

Ep. 57 - Managing your overwhelm Mar 17, 2023

I’ve been feeling overwhelmed lately. I thought that I was hiding it well. I wasn’t. It took a kind and honest conversation to help me understand the impact the constant state of overwhelm has on me and those most important to me. We need to have a kind and honest conversation about how we – as a global diplomatic community – are almost always in a state of overwhelm as we work hard to meet all the demands we feel we have on us AND those we place on ourselves. Come and join me for a real conversation about managing your overwhelm. Links: Send me your question: admin@thelonelydiplomat.com Website: https://www.thelonelydiplomat.com Blog: ‘On managing overwhelm’ - https://www.thelonelydiplomat.com/post/on-managing-overwhelm

Ep. 56 - Our kids are not OK - with Tanya Crossman Feb 17, 2023

To the humans of international diplomacy: Our kids are not OK. They’re reporting high levels of emotional abuse, emotional neglect, physical abuse and sexual abuse. We need to have a kind and honest conversation about how we – as a global diplomatic community – show up in support of our littlest and junior diplomats so they have the upbringing we all wish for them. Come and join me and Tanya Crossman from TCK Training for a real conversation about how our kids are not OK. Need to get your diplomatic life back on track? You need your Diplomatic Life Plan. Get yours now through the link below. Links: Send me your question: admin@thelonelydiplomat.com Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.com Blog: ‘How the diplo life can affect our kids – by Tanya Crossman’ - https://bit.ly/40Icz6L My services: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/services Express your gratitude for the content: www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=RZBA4KY9F843U About Tanya: Tanya is a leading expert in the field of modern Third Culture Kids and issues facing cross-cultural families. She is the author of Misunderstood: The Impact of Growing Up Overseas in the 21st Century (2016), a book which opens a window on the experience of an international childhood in the internet age. It draws from her interviews of over 270 TCKs and an original survey of 744 TCKs. Tanya serves TCK Training families - offering virtual debriefing, parent coaching, consulting, and training - particularly to those living in Eastern Hemisphere time zones. She also conducts research on behalf of TCK Training in the area of TCKs and ACE scores. Instagram: @misunderstoodtck

Ep. 55 - Supporting diplomatic mums - with Karina Lagarrigue Jan 20, 2023

Come and join me and Karina Lagarrigue for a conversation about how we can best support diplomatic mums. Karina is a Barcelona-based psychologist specializing in expat couples therapy and sex therapy. She’s also a PhD candidate in sensory processing sensitivity for expatriated mums. You must join us if you are a parent and want to help improve the support provided diplomatic parents and their children. Links to Karina’s work: Survey: https://bit.ly/3iPoVZB Email: Lagarrigue.psicologia@gmail.com Highly Sensitive Expat Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/471850395027563/ Links: Send me your question: admin@thelonelydiplomat.com Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.com My mentoring services: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/mentoring Express your gratitude for the content: www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=RZBA4KY9F843U

Ep. 54 - Connection for the modern diplomat Dec 16, 2022

Come and join me for a real conversation about what it means to connect. Connection is a big deal. It’s the antidote to loneliness and you – as a human – need to feel connected. But how do you know if you’re doing it right? Listening to this episode of The Lonely Diplomat podcast is a great place to start. Need to get your diplomatic life back on track? You need your Diplomatic Life Plan. Get yours now through the link below. Links: Send me your question: admin@thelonelydiplomat.com Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.com Blog – Connection and the modern diplomat: https://bit.ly/3BvYjmI Get your Diplomatic Life Plan: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/mentoring Express your gratitude for the content: www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=RZBA4KY9F843U

Ep. 53 - Hitting rock bottom Nov 18, 2022

Come and join me for a real conversation about what it means to be at a rock bottom mentally, emotionally, physically and socially while living the diplomatic life in this episode of The Lonely Diplomat podcast. In this episode, I talk about: - While rock bottom is a messy place, it’s a source of hope. - Why you avoid seeking help until you’ve got no other alternative - How I’ve hit rock bottom many times (my loneliness, my sexuality and leaving my job) and how I move forward. It’s real, honest and open. It’s not for everyone. But it’s for you if you’re struggling with an aspect of your life right now. Need to get your diplomatic life back on track? You need your Diplomatic Life Plan. Get yours now through the link below. Links: Send me your question: admin@thelonelydiplomat.com Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.com Blog – Why hit rock bottom?: https://bit.ly/3hPAQ91 Get your Diplomatic Life Plan: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/mentoring Express your gratitude for the content: www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=RZBA4KY9F843U

Ep. 52 - 'Diplomatic spouses, reunite!' with Georgie Ryan Oct 21, 2022

Come and join me and Georgie Ryan for a cup of tea and a chat about being an accompanying significant other while living her diplomatic life in this episode of The Lonely Diplomat podcast. In this episode, we talk about - the impact her blog post and previous appearance on the podcast has had supporting the global diplomatic community. - Times when Georgie said that this is not how she wanted to live and courageously made changes in her diplomatic life; and - How she’s smelled William Haigh’s head and nibbled Prince Harry’s nuts. It’s real, honest, open and so very Georgie. So come and join us, the tea’s hot and we’ve poured a cup for you. Need to get your diplomatic life back on track? You need your Diplomatic Life Plan. Get yours now through the link below. Links: Send me your question: admin@thelonelydiplomat.com Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.com Blog – Diplomatic spouses of the world, unite!: https://bit.ly/3ypaTCq Get your Diplomatic Life Plan: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/mentoring Express your gratitude for the content: www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=RZBA4KY9F843U

Ep. 51 - Always being on Sep 23, 2022

Many aspects of this diplomatic life are amazing. And there are many that are, well, far from amazing. Always needing to be ready – to be ‘on’ – to respond to something in the right way at the right time. Everyone on a posting – posted officer and their families – always need to be vigilant and mindful of how their words and actions are perceived. It is exhausting. Let’s talk about that in this episode of The Lonely Diplomat podcast. Need to get your diplomatic life back on track? You need your Diplomatic Life Plan. Get yours now through the link below. Links: Send me your question: admin@thelonelydiplomat.com Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.com Blog – Always being ‘on’: https://bit.ly/3ekjiQk Get your Diplomatic Life Plan: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/mentoring Express your gratitude for the content: www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=RZBA4KY9F843U

Ep. 50 - I'm back Sep 01, 2022

I’m back. It’s been a while, hasn’t it? There’s been a lot happening with me AND with The Lonely Diplomat. Let’s catch up. Need to get your diplomatic life back on track? You need your Diplomatic Life Plan. Get yours now through the link below. Links: Send me your question: admin@thelonelydiplomat.com Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.com Blog: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/blog Get your Diplomatic Life Plan: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/mentoring Watch on YouTube: https://bit.ly/3BGcO4H Express your gratitude for the content: www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=RZBA4KY9F843U

Ep. 49 - A call to the diplomatic disrupters Feb 04, 2022

There’s something calming about observing protocols and heeding diplomatic traditions in times of great disruption, uncertainty and stress. But sometimes, things need to be shaken up and modernised so they meet today’s needs. When it comes to serving, supporting, challenging and inspiring diplomats and those who live the diplomatic life, the usual support services and structures may not be fit for their original purpose. This is a call to those who, like me, are all about supporting, serving, challenging and inspiring those around them as we live our diplomatic lives. I want to talk to you and amplify your voice and share your awesomeness with my wonderful global audience. Want to talk with me directly? Get me in your corner through my mentoring services as you live your diplomatic life. See link below. Links: Send me your question: admin@thelonelydiplomat.com Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.com Blog: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/blog Need my mentoring services? Go to www.thelonelydiplomat.com/membership-information Watch on YouTube: https://bit.ly/3BGcO4H

Ep. 48 - My resilience reset Jan 21, 2022

Let’s have a chat about real resilience and courage in this episode of The Lonely Diplomat podcast. A whole lot of life has happened for us in 2020 and 2021. We need to process it in our way. Even when it's hard and we're busy. No, ESPECIALLY when it’s hard and we’re busy. We need a resilience reset. You need a resilience reset. Let me tell you about mine, as unwelcome and inconvenient as it was. Want to talk with me directly? Get me in your corner through my mentoring services as you live your diplomatic life. See link below. Links: Send me your question: admin@thelonelydiplomat.com Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.com Blog: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/blog Need my mentoring services? Go to www.thelonelydiplomat.com/membership-information Watch on YouTube: https://bit.ly/3BGcO4H

Ep. 47 - The courage to change Dec 31, 2021

Happy New Year! It’s 2022 and our thoughts may be turning to the New Year and New Year’s resolutions. What’s it going to be for you? Quit smoking? Get a better work/life balance? Enforce boundaries? You know that I have content all designed to help you and others who live the diplomatic life as you live your diplomatic life. But change when living the diplomatic life can be so hard and the changes we want to make never really stick, do they? Let’s have a chat about that in this episode of The Lonely Diplomat podcast. Want to talk with me directly? Get me in your corner through my mentoring services as you live your diplomatic life. See link below. Links: Send me your question: admin@thelonelydiplomat.com Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.com Blog: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/blog Need my mentoring services? Go to www.thelonelydiplomat.com/membership-information Watch on YouTube: https://bit.ly/3BGcO4H

Ep. 46 - Reflecting on 2021 Dec 17, 2021

Ah, it’s getting towards the pointy end of the festive season and you might get some days off to rest and recharge shortly. Not before time, right?! Let’s reflect on 2021. What happened? What did we learn? Did 2021 happen to you, or did you happen to it? Let’s have a chat about that in this episode of The Lonely Diplomat podcast. Want to talk with me directly? Get me in your corner through my mentoring services as you live your diplomatic life. See link below. Links: Send me your question: admin@thelonelydiplomat.com Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.com Blog: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/blog Need my mentoring services? Go to www.thelonelydiplomat.com/membership-information Watch on YouTube: https://bit.ly/3BGcO4H

Ep. 45 - The power of belonging Dec 03, 2021

Do you still feel like you must prove that you’re worthy of having your job wherever you are in the world? Do you still feel like you must prove that you being where you are and doing what you’re doing is not some horrible mistake? Do you still feel that you must constantly hustle to prove that you’re worthy of your job and your life? Trust me: You’re not alone. You belong right now. Let me share some of my story with you. Let’s have a chat about that in this episode of The Lonely Diplomat podcast. Want to talk with me directly? Get me in your corner through my mentoring services as you live your diplomatic life. See link below. Links: Send me your question: admin@thelonelydiplomat.com Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.com Blog: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/blog Need my mentoring services? Go to www.thelonelydiplomat.com/membership-information Watch on YouTube: https://bit.ly/3BGcO4H

Ep. 44 - 'I can't relax' Nov 19, 2021

One of you in my awesome global audience shared with me that you simply can’t turn off: you can’t relax. You’re always checking email. You’re always refreshing news feeds. You’re always watching the news. Always seeing what’s coming up next and how you can respond? I’m not surprised. What does it take for you to really relax? Let’s have a chat about that in this episode of The Lonely Diplomat podcast. Want to talk with me directly? Get me in your corner through my mentoring services as you live your diplomatic life. See link below. Links: Send me your question: admin@thelonelydiplomat.com Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.com Blog: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/blog Need my mentoring services? Go to www.thelonelydiplomat.com/membership-information Watch on YouTube: https://bit.ly/3BGcO4H

Ep. 43 - 'But I'm a diplomat!' - Privilege, entitlement and diplomacy Nov 05, 2021

While it sometimes may not feel like it, by any measure, diplomats and those who live the diplomatic life are privileged. Sometimes, we’re even a bit entitled. Sometimes, we’re really entitled. Sometimes, we even act like spoiled children when we don’t get our way. We need to check our privilege. What if we used our privilege and listened to the needs of the communities in which we live? What if we used the latent power of the global diplomatic community to contribute in its way to those communities? The collective skills, interests and experience of extremely talented and clever people could make a significant difference if we listened to those around us. We may even reconnect with the world around us and use our privilege for good. Let’s have a chat about that in this episode of The Lonely Diplomat podcast. Want to talk with me directly? Get me in your corner through my mentoring services as you live your diplomatic life. See link below. Links: Send me your question: admin@thelonelydiplomat.com Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.com Blog: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/blog Want my mentoring services? Go to www.thelonelydiplomat.com/membership-information Watch on YouTube: https://bit.ly/3BGcO4H

Ep. 42 - A call to the men of diplomacy Oct 22, 2021

I’m calling forward the men of diplomacy to sit with me and talk about something real. That means no: - talk about work or how busy we are. - talk about sport. - talk about the weather. - talk about politics. - talk about sex. - no gossip. Nothing that passes as safe, small talk. That’s not connection. We need to talk about why, as men, so many of use wait until every other option has been explored – and failed – before we ask for help. If the men of diplomacy are meant to be good with our words, why can’t we talk about what’s really happening in our lives? Let’s have a kind and honest conversation about that. Want to talk with me directly? Get me in your corner through my mentoring services as you live your diplomatic life. See link below. Links: Send me your question: admin@thelonelydiplomat.com Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.com Blog: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/blog Want my mentoring services? Go to www.thelonelydiplomat.com/membership-information Watch on YouTube: https://bit.ly/3BGcO4H

Ep. 41 - Accent misunderstandings Oct 08, 2021

I bet that every diplomat and those who live the diplomatic life can share several stories about how their accent made it challenging to be understood. These stories are often hilarious, and the memories stick with us for years. Indeed, you’re probably thinking of an example right now and smiling. If that’s the case: good! You know EXACTLY what I’m talking about. But these stories are funny until they’re not. Language issues make it difficult to communicate. We can be scared to answer the phone. We can retreat into linguistic bubbles and only talk to people with whom it’s easy to communicate and who understand us. Our capacity to stay resilient can be tested by little things like ordering a coffee. Let’s stop for a few moments and have a chat about that. Want to talk with me directly? Get me in your corner through my mentoring services as you live your diplomatic life. See link below. Links: Send me your question: admin@thelonelydiplomat.com Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.com Blog: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/blog Want my mentoring services? Become a ‘Minister’ or ‘Ambassador’ member today at www.thelonelydiplomat.com/membership-information Watch on YouTube: https://bit.ly/3BGcO4H

Ep. 40 - Reflecting on COVID times Sep 24, 2021

While no one wanted the lesson, COVID is a powerful teacher. We’re learning a lesson about who and what is important in our lives. We’re learning lessons about the importance of connection and the awfulness of loneliness. We’re learning that while COVID affects our personal lives, our employers keep demanding its pound of flesh from us. Have you stopped to process what you’ve learned about yourself, those most important to you and about your community (including your workplace)? Let’s stop for a few moments and have a chat about that. Want to talk with me directly? Get me in your corner through my mentoring services as you live your diplomatic life. See link below. Links: Send me your question: admin@thelonelydiplomat.com Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.com Blog: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/blog Want my mentoring services? Become a ‘Minister’ or ‘Ambassador’ member today at www.thelonelydiplomat.com/membership-information Watch on YouTube: https://bit.ly/3BGcO4H

Ep. 39 - 'Fake it till I make it' Sep 10, 2021

Hello! It's wonderful to be back in your ears having a chat with you. In this first episode of this new season, we’ll chat about how the oft-used phrase ‘fake it till I make it’ can be a really good way to reassure ourselves when we start something new. We’ll talk about how the sentiment can be helpful, but is no way to go through our working life. How so? Let’s have a chat about that. Want to talk with me directly? Get me in your corner through my mentoring services as you live your diplomatic life. See link below. Links: Send me your question: admin@thelonelydiplomat.com Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.com Blog: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/blog Want my mentoring services? Become a ‘Minister’ or ‘Ambassador’ member today at www.thelonelydiplomat.com/membership-information Watch on YouTube: https://bit.ly/3BGcO4H

Ep. 38 - 'I need a life' Feb 05, 2021

In this final episode of the current series, we’ll chat about how diplomacy often requires us to be ready to work at all hours. We’ll talk about work/life balance and how our work/life balance isn’t given to us: We must get our life for ourselves. But how? Let’s have a chat about that. I’ll be back with a new series and new topics to discuss in a few months. In the meantime, get me in your corner through my mentoring services. See link below. Links: Send me your question: admin@thelonelydiplomat.com Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.com Blog: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/blog Want my mentoring services? Become a ‘Minister’ or ‘Ambassador’ member today at www.thelonelydiplomat.com/membership-information Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/P4sfZbSk2YQ

Ep. 37 - 'I'm struggling to cope' Jan 29, 2021

In this second last episode in this series, we’re going to discuss what can happen when we valiantly try to cope with ceaseless demands on our time and attention at work and in life. For all our skills, talents and ability to serve our governments and our fellow citizens, diplomats and those who live the diplomatic life are still human. We all have our limits. Let’s have a chat about how we can engage on our mental health during these difficult times. Get me in your corner through my mentoring services. See link below. Links: Send me your question: admin@thelonelydiplomat.com Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.com Blog: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/blog Want my mentoring services? Become a ‘Minister’ or ‘Ambassador’ member today at www.thelonelydiplomat.com/membership-information Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/BmtXCqKo8Dg

Ep. 36 - 'My husband cheated' Jan 22, 2021

We’re going to have a kind and honest conversation on a subject that we too often only speak about in hushed tones: relationship infidelity and the challenges that this diplomatic life puts on our relationships. Please join me if you’re ready to sit with some discomfort and to start a kind and honest conversation. Get me in your corner through my mentoring services. See link below. Mentioned in this episode: Esther Perel: IG @estherperelofficial Mark Groves: IG @createthelove Links: Send me your question: admin@thelonelydiplomat.com Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.com Blog: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/blog Want my mentoring services? Become a ‘Minister’ or ‘Ambassador’ member today at www.thelonelydiplomat.com/membership-information Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/a-9Ss_GT8Ro

Ep. 35 - 'I didn't want to be a burden' Jan 15, 2021

One of you – my awesome global audience – shared with me that you’d been enduring constant bullying, harassment and intimidation in your workplace. You shared that this appalling behaviour had left you feeling stressed, isolated and alone. During our chat, I asked: ‘Why didn’t you reach out to someone for support?’ You answered: ‘I didn’t want to be a burden’. Let’s talk about that. Get me in your corner through my mentoring services. See link below. Links: Send me your question: admin@thelonelydiplomat.com Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.com Blog: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/blog Want my mentoring services? Become a ‘Minister’ or ‘Ambassador’ member today at www.thelonelydiplomat.com/membership-information Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/7BjH1QiErAI

Ep. 34 - 'Should we do another posting?' Jan 08, 2021

Let’s jump straight into 2021 and let’s have a chat about an issue that many diplomats who belong in a family or community all struggle with at some point: Should we do another posting? It’s a question that often brings our familial responsibilities and our work responsibilities into conflict. Remember to like, comment, share and/or follow! Get me in your corner through my mentoring services. See link below. Links: Send me your question: admin@thelonelydiplomat.com Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.com Blog: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/blog Want my mentoring services? Become a ‘Minister’ or ‘Ambassador’ member today at www.thelonelydiplomat.com/membership-information Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/G_4y6hxjteQ

Ep. 33 - 'Christmas is hard' Dec 18, 2020

I’m all about helping you reconnect with yourself and the world around you as you lead your diplomatic life. What are your plans for Christmas this year? What were you hoping to do? Christmas – and any other event that brings friends and families together – can be hard when we’re so far away from home. Ironically, even when we are at home we can still feel like we’re not home. Then, throw 2020 into the mix and, well… Thank you for being here and letting me support you as you lead your diplomatic life in 2020. Stay safe, stay kind and stay awesomely yourself during the festive season. See you in 2021! Remember to like, comment and share! Links: Send me your question: admin@thelonelydiplomat.com Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.com Blog: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/blog Want my mentoring services? Become a ‘Minister’ or ‘Ambassador’ member today at www.thelonelydiplomat.com/membership-information Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/2F5OTKE8CqM

Ep. 32 - 'I feel like a fraud' Dec 11, 2020

I’m all about helping you reconnect with yourself and the world around you as you lead your diplomatic life. When one of you asked me for help with their feelings of being a fraud at work, I knew that my response would be helpful to many. After all, feeling like a fraud or an impostor is common among high achievers. What do you do when you feel like you’re a fraud or an impostor? Do you ‘fake it ‘till you make it’ and power through? How sustainable is that approach? Is it really working for you? Remember to like, comment and share! Links: Send me your question: admin@thelonelydiplomat.com Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.com Blog: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/blog Want my mentoring services? Become a ‘Minister’ or ‘Ambassador’ member today at www.thelonelydiplomat.com/membership-information Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/2170KubJIo8

Ep. 31 - 'HELP!! I get too many emails' Dec 04, 2020

I’m all about helping you reconnect with yourself and the world around you as you lead your diplomatic life. When one of you asked me for help and said that one of their biggest challenges was getting too many emails and worrying about missing something important, I provided this advice to them. I now provide it for you, too. Hint: It’s all about the emails and not at all about the emails. Remember to like, comment and share! Links: Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.com Blog: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/blog Want my mentoring services? Become a ‘Minister’ or ‘Ambassador’ member today at www.thelonelydiplomat.com/membership-information Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/HJgyeOyun2I

Ep. 30 - Lessons from my 2020 Nov 27, 2020

In a stunning example of gross diplomatic understatement, 2020 has been quite a year, hasn’t it? There have been life lessons aplenty. And for a blogger/podcaster on this diplomatic life, there’s always a rich vein of content from our collective experiences. We’ve all been tested in our own ways. That we’re still here with food in our bellies and roofs over our heads is in itself a worthy achievement. Let’s review 2020 and see what we can learn from it. I’ll go first. Remember to like, comment and share! Links: Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.com Blog: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/blog Want my mentoring services? Become a ‘Minister’ or ‘Ambassador’ member today at www.thelonelydiplomat.com/membership-information Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/G6X01i_0j2k

Ep. 29 - On my purpose Nov 20, 2020

It’s great to be back! Let’s have a chat about my purpose: why I do what I do for you and other diplomats and those who live the diplomatic life. Remember to like, comment and share! Links: Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.com Blog: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/blog Want my mentoring services? Become a ‘Minister’ or ‘Ambassador’ member today at www.thelonelydiplomat.com/membership-information Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/_AG9SafgaME

Ep. 28 - On our soulgasms Aug 28, 2020

After reflecting on our soulaches for the past few weeks, let’s have a chat about what gives us soulgasms and brings us joy as we live our diplomatic lives in this episode of The Lonely Diplomat podcast. Are you numbing, ignoring and denying your soulache as you live your diplomatic life and focusing only on that which brings you joy? Do you allow yourself to feel your soulgasms? Big question time. But let’s get you finding the joy in the everyday as you live your diplomatic life. Once you’ve listened to this episode, share your daily diplomatic soulgasms on Instagram. Simply use #diplosoulgasms and remember to tag @the_lonely_diplomat so I can see them too! Links Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.com Blog post: ‘The Lonely Diplomat: on our soulgasms’ at https://bit.ly/3b1ZN9v My book: https://amzn.to/3brZTXr Seminars, coaching and other services: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/services Got value from this episode and want to buy me a coffee?: https://www.thelonelydiplomat.com/buycoffee Subscribe: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/subscribe Contact me: admin@thelonelydiplomat.com

Ep. 27 - On our soulaches Aug 07, 2020

There are fewer worse feelings than our own soulache. We can feel empty and at odds within our selves. A soulache develops when what we do is not aligned with who we are. This begs the question: Who are you? Let’s have a chat about your answer to this question. A soulache while living the diplomatic life can lead for some uncomfortable reckonings within us about what we do. I invite you to go somewhere quiet to listen to this episode so you can reflect on your own soulache. Links: Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.com Blog post: ‘The Lonely Diplomat: on our soulaches’ at https://bit.ly/2EH0lG5 My book: https://amzn.to/3brZTXr Seminars, coaching and other services: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/services Got value from this episode and want to buy me a coffee?: https://www.thelonelydiplomat.com/buycoffee Subscribe: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/subscribe Contact me: admin@thelonelydiplomat.com

Ep. 26 - Who gets lonelier: diplomat or spouse? Jul 17, 2020

Who gets lonelier: the posted diplomat or the accompanying significant other? I’m asked this question more than any other when people learn that I’ve twice been the posted diplomat and twice been the accompanying significant other during my 20-year diplomatic life. Let’s answer the question and investigate what it really means. Links Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.com Blog post: ‘The Lonely Diplomat: who gets lonelier: diplomat or spouse?’ at https://bit.ly/2DwtrqX My book: https://amzn.to/3brZTXr Seminars, mentoring and other services: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/services Please, support my work: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/support Subscribe: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/subscribe Contact me: admin@thelonelydiplomat.com

Ep. 25 - Lessons from my social media detox Jun 26, 2020

You know that I often recommend that we who live the diplomatic lives need to use social media for good. But was I using it for good? This question prompted my month-long detox from my personal social media accounts. I had two major insights during the detox. First, social media can be a powerful tool of connection when we use it mindfully. It’s an avenue for mindless consumption of ideas, thoughts and stuff when we don’t. Secondly, you and I get to decide who we let into our online lives, just like we do in our ‘real’ lives. Can you review who you’ve let into your online – and therefore, real – life? I reckon you can. Links Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.com Blog post: ‘The Lonely Diplomat: lessons from my social media detox’ at https://bit.ly/3fHdJXW My book: https://amzn.to/3brZTXr Dr Vivek Murthy ‘Together’: https://amzn.to/3exQE9T Seminars, coaching and other services: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/services Please, support my work: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/support Subscribe: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/subscribe Contact me: admin@thelonelydiplomat.com

Ep. 24 - On making changes in our lives Jun 05, 2020

Change is inevitable. Seasons change. Children grow up. People come into – and then leave – our lives. Why is it that I resist the changes I know that I must make in my own life, even when I know that I must change if I’m to evolve and grow? Why is it that we all do this? Change does not happen – within our selves or in society – from simply reading, listening and watching. Change comes from doing. Let’s do change together. Links Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.com Blog post: ‘The Lonely Diplomat: a letter to myself about change’ at https://bit.ly/2XM7vhQ My book: https://amzn.to/3brZTXr Seminars, coaching and other services: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/services Please, support my work: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/support Contact me: admin@thelonelydiplomat.com

Ep 23 - On diplomatic breakups with Katia Vlachos May 15, 2020

Diplomacy and the diplomatic life can place enormous stress on our relationships, and yet we don’t tend to talk about what can happen when those relationships end. Why is that? My friend Katia Vlachos and I discuss breakups, separations and divorce in this episode. Katia has written some outstanding articles on the topic within the global expatriate community and shares some amazing insights with us here. About Katia Katia’s professional background is in policy analysis. She holds an MA from the Kennedy School of Government at Harvard and a PhD from the RAND Corporation. Katia is a seasoned expat herself, having lived in eight cities, seven countries and three continents in the past 20 years. She currently lives in Zurich, Switzerland. Her book ‘A Great Move: Surviving and Thriving In Your Expat Assignment’ is an indispensable resource for anyone who moves internationally. Her website is www.katiavlachos.com and her book can be ordered from www.katiavlachos.com/book Links Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.com Blog post: ‘The Lonely Diplomat: on breaking up’ at https://bit.ly/3frlGRH My book: https://amzn.to/3brZTXr Katia's 'Huffington Post' articles: https://www.huffpost.com/author/katia-vlachos-834 Seminars, coaching and other services: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/services Please, support my work: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/support Contact me: admin@thelonelydiplomat.com

Ep. 22 - On bullying, harassment and discrimination in diplomacy Apr 24, 2020

What can happen when relentless competition, isolation, power, ambition and expectations of constant high-performance mix? Abuse of power. Bullying. Harassment. Discrimination. It’s clear that some of you are going through – or have been through – hell as you live your diplomatic life. Let’s start some courageous conversations and expose the dark corners of our diplomatic workplaces where this appalling behaviour thrives. Links: Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.com Blog post: ‘The Lonely Diplomat: on bullying, harassment and discrimination in diplomacy’ https://bit.ly/3eAU4ZG My book: https://amzn.to/3brZTXr NZ Government workplace bullying site: https://bit.ly/2Kl8oYF Seminars and other services: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/services Please, support my work: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/support Contact me: admin@thelonelydiplomat.com

Ep. 21 - On supporting you through COVID-19 Apr 03, 2020

Social media is awash with tips and advice on how to survive and thrive through COVID-19 induced lockdowns and isolation. This episode focuses on serving and supporting you in a very practical way as you live your diplomatic life wherever you are in the world. These are extraordinary times and I know that those who live the diplomatic life are coping as best they can with what they have wherever they are in the world. Adapting and getting on with it is what we do. It’s an honour to serve you through these times. Links Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.com Blog post: ‘The Lonely Diplomat: on supporting you through COVID-19’ https://bit.ly/2Jkyo5M Jase Te Patu’s yoga on YouTube: https://bit.ly/3azrvcK Coaching, seminars and other services: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/services Please, support my work: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/support Stay connected with me and my work: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/subscribe Contact me: admin@thelonelydiplomat.com

Ep. 20 - On minimalism and decluttering our lives Mar 13, 2020

Couldn’t you do with some more simplicity, calmness and rejuvenation in your diplomatic life? In ‘The Lonely Diplomat: on minimalism’, I wrote that my journey into minimalism started when I wanted to have less stuff to pack before a posting. Let’s have a chat about how we can make that you’re surrounded by people and things that restore, uplift and calm you in this episode of The Lonely Diplomat podcast. Links Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.com Blog post: ‘The Lonely Diplomat: on minimalism’ https://bit.ly/2TVyiql Coaching, seminars and other services: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/services Please, support my work: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/support Stay connected with my work: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/subscribe Contact me: admin@thelonelydiplomat.com

Ep. 19 - On the power of mindfulness with Jase Te Patu Feb 21, 2020

Join me for a cup of tea with my friend Jase Te Patu as we talk about the superpower that is the practice of mindfulness. Following the blog post ‘Mindfulness and you’ - written by Jase (link below) - I’m eager to give you, my awesome audience of diplomats around the world, further support as you work to optimise your mental health and well-being as you live your diplomatic lives. About Jase Iwi - Ngāti Ruanui, Ngāti Apa and Ngāti Tūwharetoa Jase is an award-winning facilitator with over 25 years’ experience in the health and wellness sector. He is co-owner of Awhi Yoga and Wellbeing in Wellington, a teacher trainer, facilitator, keynote speaker and creator of M3. Jase’s students include the All Blacks, the Hurricanes, the Pulse, the NZ School of Dance contemporary students and many more high-performance athletes. Jase has received many awards for his work particularly in the mental health and well-being space. These include the NZ Exercise Industry Awards- Body/Mind Teacher of the year in 2018, the Lifekeeper’s Award for Suicide Prevention, the Regional Local Hero medal as part of the New Zealander of the Year Awards 2018 and the Absolutely Positively Wellington Award 2019. Jase is an Edmund Hillary Fellow and an Ambassador for international brand lululemon. Jase facilitates full and half day PD sessions for both Primary and ECE Teachers. He is also the creator of our M3 Video Resources for classrooms. M3 is a beautiful way for Jase to share all his skills with the tamariki of Aotearoa. His message can be seen in his popular kōrero at TedX Wellington. Links Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.com M3 Mindfulness for Children: www.m3mindfulnessforchildren.com Blog post: ‘Mindfulness and you’ https://bit.ly/31XnLi0 Coaching, seminars and other services: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/services Please, support my work: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/support Stay connected with my work: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/subscribe Contact me: admin@thelonelydiplomat.com

Ep. 18 - On mental health and diplomacy Jan 31, 2020

Following the beautiful and insightful blog post ‘On anxiety and being a diplomat’ - written by one of my awesome audience - I’m keen to start a real, authentic, kind and honest conversation about mental illness and mental health and well-being in diplomacy. SPOILER: We must get real about our mental health and well-being and this must start with you. Links Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.com Blog post: ‘On anxiety and being a diplomat’: https://bit.ly/2NVt37y Coaching, seminars and other services: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/services Please, support my work: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/support Stay connected with me and my work: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/subscribe Contact me: admin@thelonelydiplomat.com

Ep. 17 - On portable businesses with Amel Derragui Jan 17, 2020

This episode features my interview with Amel Derragui from Tandem Nomads. Simply, this conversation was so much fun. Amel and I chatted about how she came to start Tandem Nomads and how – with support – we can turn the challenges of our diplomatic lives into opportunities, just like Amel has. The episode was a direct response to the many comments I receive from you, my wonderful audience, about how the life of being a diplomatic spouse means leaving behind your career to accompany your diplomatic significant other. It doesn’t have to be this way if you want to maintain – or start – your career. If you’re accompanying a diplomat, wondering how we can better support those accompanying diplomats or have an idea for ‘something’ to do while you’re accompanying your significant other, you MUST listen to this episode. You will be inspired. About Amel Amel Derragui is a marketing and business coach, a speaker and the founder of Tandem Nomads. Tandem Nomads is a podcast show and entrepreneurship platform designed to help expat partners and global nomads build a successful portable business thanks to various resources and training programs. Her work has been featured on the cover story of Forbes Magazine in Austria, Global Living Magazine in the US and various other media. She is regularly invited to deliver workshops or webinars on how to build a successful portable business. She also often speaks about this topic at conferences for multinationals and international organizations (such as the World Bank, IMF and Foreign Ministries) who need to address the dual career challenges and support their employees’ spouses abroad. Contact Amel: connect@tandemnomads.com Links Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.com My book: https://amzn.to/2RkJCuv Blog post: ‘On setting up a portable business as a diplomatic spouse’: https://bit.ly/35T3mLm Tandem Nomads: www.tandemnomads.com Coaching, seminars and other services: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/services Please, support my work: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/support Stay connected with me and my work: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/subscribe Contact me: admin@thelonelydiplomat.com

Ep. 16 - On language and the words we use Dec 13, 2019

Let’s become linguistic ninjas. As diplomats, we know how important language is to our work. We put in a great deal of effort to phrase our communiqués, speeches, letters and other communications just so. Indeed, diplomacy is ruled by protocols and using the right words at the right time in the right way avoids misunderstandings. Our words and thoughts at work can be dominated by keeping all possibilities open, lest we miss an opportunity to advance our country’s interests. But what happens when we adopt the same communication style within ourselves and with those around us? Let’s explore this and become more aware of the power of the words we think and use. Links: Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.com Blog post: ‘The Lonely Diplomat: on language’: https://bit.ly/2LwLXRh Miguel Ruiz, ‘The Four Agreements’: www.miguelruiz.com/the-four-agreements Coaching, seminars and other services: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/services Friends of The Lonely Diplomat: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/friends Please, support my work: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/support Stay connected with me and my work: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/subscribe Contact me: admin@thelonelydiplomat.com

Ep. 15 - On being a gay diplomatic spouse with Kevin Huntting Nov 22, 2019

Let’s explore what it’s like to be LGBTQ and in a same-sex relationship while living a diplomatic life. In this episode, I have a fantastic and far-ranging chat with my friend, Kevin Huntting. Kevin wrote ‘On being gay and living a diplomatic life’ which was published on my blog in November 2019. The post has been widely read around the globe and has received some great feedback. We explore the issues raised in his blog about coming out and being vulnerable, how he’s experienced loneliness and lack of a career and how LGBTQ diplomats and their families can be supported. About Kevin: Kevin Huntting resides in Miami with his husband who is a member of Mexico’s Foreign Service. He and his husband met in San Francisco in 2006, and have had posts in Dallas, Mexico City, and Washington DC. Kevin began his career with General Electric and has spent 12 years working in various marketing areas like Customer Relationship Management (CRM), E-commerce, and Digital Marketing for Fortune 500 brands like GE, Gap Inc., Fossil Group, and the Inter-American Development Bank in Washington, DC. It was through these various life transitions that Kevin recognized there was little information focused on the needs of the global LGBTQ diplomatic and expat community. In 2016, he launched The Proud Diplomat (www.theprouddiplomat.com) a website, and social media channels dedicated to sharing the authentic stories of the LGBTQ expat community as well as insightful information impacting this community. He is currently pursuing his certification as a Professional/Personal Coach through the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC). Links: Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.com Blog post: ‘On being gay and living a diplomatic life’: https://bit.ly/354zE64 Coaching, seminars and other services: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/services Friends of The Lonely Diplomat: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/friends Please, support my work: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/support Stay connected with me and my work: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/subscribe Contact me: admin@thelonelydiplomat.com Contact Kevin: info@theprouddiplomat.com

Ep. 14 - Thoughts on loneliness Nov 08, 2019

It’s time to have a kind and honest conversation in this episode of #thelonelydiplomatpodcast about a topic that makes many of you – my lovely audience – feel uncomfortable: loneliness. Let’s have this conversation together. Let’s talk about how we can say that we don’t feel lonely, but recognise how we need for more real, authentic connection in our lives. Can it really work this way? Is it that we just want the fix but not admit we have the condition? This is a real opportunity lost. I talk about the common responses I receive to when I admit that I have been lonely (and that I still feel lonely sometimes) and how we can all about connecting with others. Indeed, it seems that we rush to connect with others and the world around us but not spend time getting connected with ourselves. Make yourself a cup of something nice and settle in for a chat. You may indeed be lonely, but you’re definitely not alone. Links: Book: https://amzn.to/2q5kNJf Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.com Blog post ‘The Lonely Diplomat: on loneliness’: https://bit.ly/36tzZAx Blog post ‘Loneliness and the lack of real connection’: https://bit.ly/32iXlW9 Coaching and other services: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/services Friends of The Lonely Diplomat: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/friends Please, support my work: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/support The Lounge: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/thelounge Stay connected with me and my work: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/subscribe Contact me: admin@thelonelydiplomat.com

Ep. 13 - On mid-life crises with Dougal Sutherland Oct 18, 2019

The very words ‘mid-life crisis’ can induce feelings of angst, unease and a desperation to recapture what we feel that we’ve lost. We desperately do not want to be the stereotype, but sometimes a red sports car or the affair is too tempting. But Dr Dougal Sutherland and I explore how we can face the thoughts and feelings that herald a mid-life crisis and use them to our advantage and conduct a useful evaluation of our life. I also share how I desperately did not want to have a mid-life crisis, but it turns out that the chance to re-evaluate my values reconnected me back to me and to those around me. Get a pen and paper now; you’ll want to take notes. About Dougal: Dougal is a clinical psychologist who teaches at Victoria University of Wellington and works for Umbrella (www.umbrella.org.nz). Dougal has worked with New Zealand diplomats helping with their resilience, mental health, and well-being. Links: Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.com Blog post ‘The Lonely Diplomat: on mid-life crises’: https://bit.ly/2Z7C7x9 Coaching and other services: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/services Friends of The Lonely Diplomat: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/friends Please, support my work: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/support The Lounge: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/thelounge Stay connected with me and my work: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/subscribe Contact me: admin@thelonelydiplomat.com

Ep. 12 - On being a male diplomatic spouse with Simon Sep 20, 2019

Being a male diplomatic spouse sounds like the ticket to the sweet life, doesn’t it? There’s the chance to explore the city, learn new hobbies, play sports, meet others just like you. Well, appearances can be deceiving. The lived reality can be very different. There’s social isolation that comes from having very few peers and living with being different to society’s expectations of a man’s role to contend with. There is a way through, and to thrive, when being a male diplomatic spouse. It involves answering the question: from where do you derive your sense of self? Simon is my guest in this episode, and he answers some of my questions about his thoughts about being a male diplomatic spouse through his experiences shared with us in his blog post ‘On being a male diplomatic spouse’ (link below). You’re not alone. I’m here. I’m creating an environment to help diplomats and those living the diplomatic life reconnect with themselves and the world around them. Links: Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.com Blog post: https://bit.ly/2Y2hxKI Coaching and other services: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/services Friends of The Lonely Diplomat: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/friends Please, support my work: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/support The Lounge: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/thelounge Stay connected with me and my work: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/subscribe Contact me: admin@thelonelydiplomat.com

Ep. 11 - On leaving diplomacy with Angela Pickett Aug 23, 2019

Leaving a career to start afresh is scary. We leave behind a world we know for something that we don't. We must decide if the price of staying where we are is higher than the price of moving on. We must decide if the life we’ve built around our current job is worth risking for another. And so it is with diplomacy. It can be a lot to give up, but sooner or later, we all reach a crossroads where the thoughts of staying or leaving occupy our minds. What to do? Where to go? There’s so much to consider. Angela Pickett is my guest on this episode and together we explore her decision to leave diplomacy after a 15-year career. If you’re thinking of leaving diplomacy – or any career – you must listen to this episode. You’re not alone. I’m here. I’m creating an environment to help diplomats and those living the diplomatic life reconnect with themselves and the world around them. About Angela: Angela Pickett is a copywriter and aspiring novelist. After a 15-year career as a diplomat with postings in China and Vietnam, Angela decided to make a “vine change” and moved to the Barossa Valley. With her husband and two boys, she’s building a freelance lifestyle with time to cook, travel and explore while providing a taxi service to her boys growing list of sporting activities. In her spare time, she sits on the board of a local philanthropic foundation, is the treasurer for a local basketball club and has established a writing group. And because food and wine is such a part of the lifestyle, she can often be found at Crossfit or parkrun. Go to www.angelapickett.com.au for more about her and her work. Links: Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.com Blog post: https://bit.ly/2HaAg07 Please, support my work: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/support The Lounge: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/thelounge Stay connected with me and my work: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/subscribe Contact me: admin@thelonelydiplomat.com

Ep. 10 - On the price of diplomacy Jul 26, 2019

The life and career opportunities afforded by diplomacy are amazing and life-defining. Many of us keep looking for opportunities to work and live overseas to further our country’s interests and to satisfy our innate curiosity for how the world works. It's addictive. But there is a cost to living this life, and sooner or later, we all must pay. And no, I don’t mean the financial cost. I mean the physical, mental and emotional cost that this diplomatic life demands of us all. This episode of The Lonely Diplomat podcast explores the price that we all pay for living this diplomatic life and challenges you to pay attention to, and get curious about, your complaints. You’re not alone. I’m here. I’m creating an environment to help diplomats and those living the diplomatic life reconnect with themselves and the world around them. Links: Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.com Blog post: https://bit.ly/32Tm0m3 Please, support my work: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/support The Lounge: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/thelounge Stay connected with me and my work: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/subscribe Contact me: admin@thelonelydiplomat.com

Ep. 9 - On social media and connection Jul 12, 2019

Without doubt, social media has made our world smaller. We are more connected than ever. Our social media accounts have hundreds, even thousands, of our friends and other people we collect through life. For those of us living the diplomatic life, social media is a real link to those friends and family members spread all over the world. Why then do so many us feel so alone? Why are we in the grip of a ‘loneliness epidemic’? This episode of The Lonely Diplomat podcast investigates how we diplomats and those living the diplomatic life can use social media in a way that it feels like real connection, but it’s not. It’s ersatz connection. Let’s talk about how we can use social media in a way that serves us and actively use it to connect with the people in our lives. Links: Blog post: https://bit.ly/2CKRvUs Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.com ‘The Loneliness Epidemic’ (NPR ‘On Point’ story): https://wbur.fm/2NessjL Please, support my work: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/support The Lounge: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/thelounge Stay connected with me and my work: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/subscribe Contact me: admin@thelonelydiplomat.com

Ep. 8 - On competitive stories Jun 28, 2019

Something wonderful happens when diplomats and those living the diplomatic life get together. We are with people who understand; we are with people who get what this life is like. Without too much effort, stories of successes, near misses and disasters are shared. This episode of The Lonely Diplomat podcast looks at these stories and how they’re a valuable source of connection but can also evolve into competitive stories where we ‘one-up’ each other with our tales. What happens when someone says something that could indicate that they’re not OK? What if their courage and bravery in admitting that they may be struggling – albeit subtly – is lost in a round of competitive storytelling? What if the only people who really understand and can help us aren’t listening? Links: Blog post: https://bit.ly/2KB7JEw Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.com Please, support my work: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/support The Lounge: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/thelounge Stay connected with me and my work: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/subscribe Contact me: admin@thelonelydiplomat.com

Ep. 7 - On growing up diplomatically with Jaqueline Benndorf Jun 14, 2019

If you’re a parent who’s also a diplomat or you’re the child of a diplomat, you need to hear this episode of The Lonely Diplomat podcast. In my chat with Jaqueline Benndorf – herself the daughter of a diplomat and accomplished psychotherapist – we explore what her childhood and adolescence in a diplomatic family has meant for her throughout her life. As parents, we all are doing the best we can for our children. Jaqueline and I provide some advice for those who are parenting as well as leading a diplomatic life and some advice for the children living a diplomatic life. Jaqueline is wise, kind and extremely funny. The interview is emotional and very real. Oh, and our collective wisdom combined with our awesomeness broke the internet at one point. Sorry about that… Links: Jaqueline’s blog post: https://bit.ly/2F7jeiw Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.com Please, support my work: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/support The Lounge: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/thelounge Stay connected with me and my work: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/subscribe Contact me: admin@thelonelydiplomat.com

Ep. 6 - On self-deprecation and my friend Joe May 31, 2019

In this episode of The Lonely Diplomat podcast, I talk about self-deprecation and my relationship with my friend Joe. I wrote on this topic in ‘Are you the self-deprecating diplomat?’ (go to https://bit.ly/2JmB3Lx to read) and I wanted to talk more about self-deprecation and how it affects me. Self-deprecation is nasty and insidious. It masquerades as good-humoured humility but hides our belief that we are not enough. I explore the feeling that many of us have that we are frauds or imposters and that we will be found out at any moment and how some of us can fear being the tall poppy, but desperately want to be seen and recognised. I see evidence of self-deprecation throughout diplomacy. I know that I’m not alone. You’re not alone, either. Links: Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.com Please, support my work: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/support The Lounge: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/thelounge Stay connected with me and my work: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/subscribe Contact me: admin@thelonelydiplomat.com

Ep. 5 - On The Stories We Tell Ourselves with Mike Campbell May 17, 2019

On this episode of The Lonely Diplomat podcast, I speak with Mike Campbell on the power of the stories we tell ourselves. I wrote on this topic in ‘The Lonely Diplomat: on the stories we tell ourselves’ (go to www.thelonelydiplomat.com/blog to read) and wanted to discuss the power of these stories with Mike. Each of us have stories that our minds scrap together to make sense of ourselves and the those around us. They are incredibly powerful, and we can build them into truths about ourselves and others. We rarely challenge them, even when they’re wrong. Be sure to listen for Mike’s suggestions about how we can begin to question these stories. ABOUT MIKE Mike is a men’s coach, author and founder of The School of Personal Mastery coaching program for men. He’s also the creator of the interview show and events, Beyond The Beers. He brings easily implemented and effective personal development to everyday men who want to break free of the ordinary and achieve greater success in their career, relationships, and life – without the guilt and hang-ups. He challenges us in the most kind and supportive way imaginable. He will be a rock of certainty even when we’re not. Mike is on a mission to change the narrative around masculinity and what it means to be a mature, strong, capable, compassionate, kind, and effective man. More information: www.mikecampbell.com.au Stay connected with me and my work: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/subscribe

Ep. 4 - On Stress And Resilience with Alison Earl May 03, 2019

In this episode, we explore the concepts of stress and resilience. The interview follows my blog post ‘The Lonely Diplomat: on resilience – part 2’ (go to www.thelonelydiplomat.com/blog to read). Alison and I have an enlightening discussion about her work as a Positive Psychology Practitioner and her work helping people to thrive under stress in a range of industries. If you’ve ever been stressed, are stressed, or feel that you could be stressed soon, this episode is compulsory listening. Alison has worked as a researcher strategist and positive psychology practitioner around the globe. She’s a Behavioural Strategist with Burns Group, a NYC-based brand transformation agency, and is the founder of BG Hatch, a think tank dedicated to solving the most complex problems in behaviour change, which brings together the leading academic and commercial minds. Through BG Hatch she leads an ongoing collaboration with the Harvard Kennedy School and Harvard School of Public Health (HSPH) and is a repeat guest lecturer in HSPH Behavioural Economics class for the Public Health Masters, where she lets her geeky side shine through. More information about Alison, her work and her excellent book, 'Tripowerment: The Why, The Will and The Way of Breakthrough Change' (which I’ll be coming back to soon), can be found at www.alisonearl.com. Stay connected with me and my work: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/subscribe

Ep. 3 - On Home with Katia Vlachos Apr 19, 2019

In this episode of The Lonely Diplomat podcast, we'll explore the concept of 'home' and what it means to diplomats. This is a topic I explored in my blog post 'The Lonely Diplomat: on home', published on 17 March 2019 (go to www.thelonelydiplomat.com/blog to read). In this episode, you’ll hear a great conversation between me and Katia Vlachos, author of the fantastic book: ‘A Great Move: Surviving and Thriving In Your Expat Assignment’. Katia and I chat about the topic of home and moving internationally. Specifically, we talk about why it’s important to be brave and to speak up when you’re not coping with a move (because you’re not alone); how to handle reverse culture shock and many other topics. Katia’s professional background is in policy analysis. She holds an MA from the Kennedy School of Government at Harvard and a PhD from the RAND Corporation. Katia is a seasoned expat herself, having lived in eight cities, seven countries and three continents in the past 20 years. She currently lives in Zurich, Switzerland. Her website is www.katiavlachos.com Stay connected with me and my work: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/subscribe

Ep. 2 - Diplomatic Spouses Of The World, Unite! with Georgie Ryan Apr 05, 2019

An open, honest and fun interview with Georgie Ryan, author of the 'Diplomatic spouses of the world, unite!' blog post on www.thelonelydiplomat.com. Georgie shares her thoughts and experiences from her 22 years of accompanying her spouse on diplomatic postings in Hong Kong, Canada, Turkey and South Africa. A must-listen episode for diplomatic spouses and those that love them. Stay connected with me and my work: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/subscribe

Ep. 1 - Introductions Mar 22, 2019

It's time for some introductions: to me; my work and why I want to help mid-career diplomats reconnect with themselves and the world around them. Go to www.thelonelydiplomat.com to learn more. Stay connected with me and my work: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/subscribe

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