Here's how Vivienne introduces her story:
"When I was about to turn 30, I left my marriage (I’d only been married for 15 months - scandalous) and after returning to NZ from Australia where I’d been living, I settled in to my new life. I fell in love with a man much older than me, who had already had his family and didn’t want any more children. We went round the houses for a long time - I had hope that he would change his mind as he loved me so much (I didn’t doubt he loved me) but nothing was happening. In amongst being the happiest I’d ever been in a relationship, I was also miserable because I couldn’t see a happy ending - I was either going to have to ‘settle for a lesser life’ without children, or I had to end the relationship with someone I truly loved and wanted in my life. These were my perceived choices. I was driving myself mad and driving us apart. And no one ever told me there was any other way to feel.
One day, I had the insight: “I have no idea what my future will look like”. I had made up two options and neither of them looked appealing, but the truth was I had no idea.
When I came across the Principles in 2009, I realised what had really happened when I had that realisation, and a whole lot of other realisations followed in its footsteps. I realised there was nothing to be scared of - I was no longer scared of my own emotions or of my thoughts. This was HUGE. I also realised I didn’t have to do something ‘instead of having children’ to prove my worth or value in the world. The void I had thought existed in my life where children should have been, disappeared without a trace (because of course, I’d made it up in the first place, and once I saw it for what it was, it dissolved of its own accord).
Now I freaking love my life, and when I look back, all that thinking seems so foreign to me. But it’s such a wonderful example for me as I see how innocently we get caught up in the world of thought that’s been created, when we don’t see it for what it is."
Listen to her story and you'll hear the myriad of ways that we make that we're not complete, just as we are in this moment.
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