The Liberation Project: A Movement for Manhood

Latest Episodes:

Laughing Through Depression Feb 01, 2016

Show notes

Being anxious or depressed is the worst. In this light-hearted episode about depression, Justin and Blair tackle one of the biggest psychological hurdles...stress and depression. You'll find hope and inspiration for your journey, or learn how to communicate with people who are walking through depression themselves.

“Depression is emotions that have been back logged.” –BR

“Hopelessness is a form of depression.” –JS

“If you have an ‘I don’t care’ attitude about everything, you are probably avoiding

pain.” –JS

“If we can’t change our external, we have to find a way to find our power internally.”

–JS

“When we don’t believe we have the capacity to manage our inner-world, we feel

out of control and easily disappointed.” –JS

“When we don’t have purpose, depression is an easy exit ramp.” –JS

“The idea of finding purpose begins with settling and enjoying the present moment

we are in regardless of our present circumstances.” –JS

“A lot of us are living in depression because we are self-focused and living isolated

and outside of community.” –JS

“Depression makes life feel like everything is too big.” –BR

“Depression can be correlated with self-value.” –BR

“Depression is when something else takes ownership of my life.” –JS

“Gratitude is a really powerful tool to get us out of depression.” –JS

Restoring Your Childlike Wonder Jan 25, 2016

Show notes

When men get older, they often find that they lose their passion for life, and often lose the ability to experience wonder. However, wonder is necessary to enjoy life and embrace creativity. In this episode, Justin and Blair discuss the relevance of wonder in a man’s life.

You have to be childlike in order to truly be a man. -BR

There is a difference between childlike and childish. - BR

The reason that men are shutdown and unhappy is that they have not let out the kid within. - BR

If a man doesn’t have a creative outlet, they’ll start to die in life. -BR

Childlikeness can be an adult that can enter into their kid’s world of adventure. -JS

Being in a state of wonder is allowing yourself to be “in a moment.” - JS

Being childlike allows you to create without trying to be productive. -BR

Everything is not a task. -JS

Children don’t live with limitation. To be childlike, we have to be restored to the idea of limitlessness. -JS

We are starving for creativity and the ability to play. -BR

Many people have stopped being creative, because disappointment has shut down our ability to hope. -BR

We’ve learned to manage our lives so that we don’t get disappointed, and so we don’t disappoint others. - BR

When we view life as an adventure, obstacles seem like part of the journey! - JS

We should attempt to “make everyday a masterpiece.” -BR

To embrace wonder, we must find ways to get lost in creation and to allow ourselves to embrace childlikeness. - JS

How to Confront in Love Jan 18, 2016

Show notes

Does confrontation intimidate you? For most people, it's terrifying. In this episode, Justin and Blair discuss how to confront with love. Confrontation is supposed to be an opportunity to grow in intimacy...but most often, it is used to divide. In this episode, you'll learn how to confront effectively.

"Confrontation shouldn't come out of nowhere." -JS

"It takes a lot of self-esteem to healthily take feedback." -BR

“Confrontation should be about connecting and restoring our relationships.” –BR

“For most people, confrontation is high stakes and the biggest bull dozer wins.” –JS

“If we make confrontation about the behavior rather than the person, we can work together to solve the conflict.” -JS

“The reason we project anger on another person is because we want them to feel our pain.” – BR

“Our highest goal in confrontation has to be connection.” –JS

“When powerless comes in we will do everything subconsciously to gain our power back.” –JS

“The number one thing that keeps us from responding well in confrontation is shame.” –JS

“Big emotions means there is big pain.” –JS

“Our greatest desire as humans is to feel seen, known, and heard.” –JS

Celebrating Singleness Jan 11, 2016

Show notes

Is singleness a curse? Are you someone that wants to be in a relationship, or wants to enjoy your season of singleness? If so, this episode is for you. Justin and Blair focus on Blair’s perpetual singleness, and how to enjoy being single (and prepare yourself for a future relationship).

Show Highlights:

Marriage is a holy season, but singleness is also a holy season.

Don’t live for the life you will have, instead of engaging in the life you do have. -BR.

When you fall in love with life, you are 10X more attractive. -BR

Desperation is not attractive. -JS

What you want will evolve. Choose for the long-term. -JS

People are afraid of being satisfied while single, because they believe it will prevent them from getting married. - JS

Who I want to become is who I will attract. -JS

Spend time becoming the person you want to attract. -BR

You’ll always find your someone with the same level of emotional health. -BR

People always have equal levels of dysfunction, but it may represent differently. -JS

We are attracted to people that will poke us in areas we need to grow. -BR

You can choose to love being single. -BR

When you are single, you can explore relationships in a way that you can’t when you are married. -BR

Being ready for a relationship forces you to be willing to confront your fears about intimacy. -JS

You are choosing to be alone every day that you choose to not take action to be a in a relationship. -BR

If there is drama in your female relationships, you should push pause, and figure out what’s going on. -JS

A girl becomes attractive when she views herself as beautiful. -BR

What you need in relationship is attraction, a willingness to grow, and self-love. -JS

To be happy single, go through a season of learning how to love yourself. -BR

When you live for tomorrow, you divorce yourself from the pleasure of your current season. -BR

Until you can feel satisfied living with yourself, you won't feel satisfied being with someone else. -JS

Terrifying Transparency Jan 04, 2016

Show notes

Sometimes we have to be fully transparent, instead of “shielding” our partner from our feelings and thoughts. In this episode, Blair and Justin discuss how to communicate vulnerable topics like being attracted to others, and when others are flirting with you (and you kind of want to flirt back). Highlights from the Show: “Just because you get into a relationship doesn’t mean that you stop seeing beautiful people.” “When someone gets into a relationship, they become more attractive.” “By being transparent, you have the opportunity to have transformation.” “Forgiveness isn’t sweeping poor behavior under the rug, but an opportunity to understand why someone is acting out…and get healing.” “Trust is built through our cleaning up of our messes.” “Ask yourself, how do my relationships reflect how I feel about myself?” “We can’t control our partner's feelings.” “When we respond poorly to our partners sharing their feelings, we are teaching them that they are not safe to share with us.” “We are often attracted to the qualities that we want in our life.” “When we flirt with others, it is a temperature-gauge for our primary relationship.” “Before we are married, we shouldn’t treat people like our quasi-wife.” “We should aim for a steak-relationship, not a hamburger-relationship.” “Our core desire as human beings is to have connection.” “I wasn’t head-over-heels, I was just horny."

Straight Eye for the Queer Guy Dec 23, 2015

Show notes

Homosexuality, and homosexual rights, is a hot-button topic. It seems like everybody has a strong opinion about same-sex attraction, but is there a compassionate road to respecting people of differing opinions? In this episode, Blair and Justin discuss homosexuality in depth.

Highlights:

"When I acted out as a child, I was convinced if people knew it would disqualify me from relationship and connection." -JS

"Currently, in our culture we are at war. There is a line drawn in the sand saying you are born this way or you are wrong." -JS

"Homosexuality is often a symptom that is representing something going on below the surface." -BR

"We need to give people an invitation to go on a journey of self discovery and self-value." -BR

"When you tell people they are 'born this way' you are taking away their voice and their freedom." -JS

"In order for us to find freedom we have to give ourselves permission to go on a journey." -JS

"How about we just see the person?" -BR

"The greatest gift we are given in life is the freedom of choice." -JS

"Healthy sexuality should be a connection: healthy love coming together." -BR

"We have created a culture where creativity has been divorced from masculinity." -BR/JS

"A core piece of masculinity is the ability to feel and be connected to ourselves and the people around us." -JS

"There is an element of cowardice when you shame another person because you are so terrified of your own emotions." -BR

"Aggression has been utilized in a way to shame and degrade men." -JS

"Men living from a tender place have divorced aggression all together." -JS

"This is the invitation: You are a man, you have a man card."-BR

"We embrace the characteristics you thought disqualified you." -BR

"There is a portion of men who think they are disqualified from masculinity because of their characteristics. That is a lie." -JS

"I want to say to you who have felt disqualified, I am sorry, and I welcome you to manhood." -JS

"I am 100% man, I am 100% masculine and I reject anything that has told me I'm not." -JS

The Needless Man Dec 14, 2015

Show notes

There is a phenomenon called "The Needless Man." Basically, it is when men don't have a value for their desires or hopes. They walk through life like zombies, and are completely unaware of what they want anymore. In this episode, Justin and Blair discuss how most men don't know that they have needs, and know even less how to get them met.

Here are a few highlights:

-The needless man is a person that doesn't have expectation or desires.

-Loving someone is not, not demanding anything from them.

-Getting your needs met is not a demand from another person, but an invitation into intimacy.

-Getting needs met is a two-way street.

-You can be a needless man or needless woman.

-One of the reasons people don't "have needs" is because they don't believe there can be a balance...In other words, someone has to surrender.

-Sometimes we are lying to ourselves about what we really need.

-A few needs guys have is: recreation, getting their connection needs met, and to have a voice.

Blair's Bad Day - How to Process Pain Dec 11, 2015

Show notes

Sometimes, days just suck. You can't deny it...it's just hard. So what do we do when we have a terrible day? Do we run? Sit in it? Invite people into it? In this episode, Blair and justin discuss the idea of having a crappy day, and how to respond.

A few highlights of the episode:

- The most powerful way to love someone is to be present with them (not to fix them!).

- We have to be vulnerable and empathetic when we are connecting with someone else's pain.

- Processing pain requires us to "get behind" the anger, and allow ourselves to feel sad or disappointed.

- We have emotions and they are going to be felt...it just matters how and when.

- You must give yourself time to be present with your emotions.

- If you sit in the present, your authentic emotions will emerge.

- Create relationships where people can be present with you as you are going through emotions.

The Bromance Dec 04, 2015

Show notes

What is a bromance? Is it a ridiculous concept, or something that we need in order to be healthy and happy? In this episode, Justin and Blair discuss the idea of the platonic male relationship. They discuss what it takes to be close to other guys.

Here are a few highlights:

- We need to have a list of traits we're looking for in male relationships.

- We need to be intentional about finding and nurturing male relationships.

- It's important to have several male relationships, and not become overly focused on one.

- Most males are starving for male intimacy.

- Bromances are actually just male friendships between two healthy people.

- It's important to take baby steps when forming close male relationships.

- It's our responsibility to invite in healthy people and keep out toxic ones.

Relationships are Two Powerful People Nov 30, 2015

Show notes

Relationships are Two Powerful People is a breakdown on healthy connection between two people. Justin and Blair explain how most relationships operate (one-sided) and how relationships can operate (two-sided and enjoyable!).

The Liberation Project Notes

Episode 12: “Relationships are Two Powerful People”

“Many people equate agreeing with each other as the same thing as intimacy.” –BR

“If your self value is wrapped up in your ideas, you will break relationships with people who disagree with you.” –BR

“The only way two powerful people can exist inside a relationship is if there is an invitation to respect.” –JS

“Respect can’t exist when I have something to prove.” –JS

“If your identity is based in belief systems you will always feel powerless.” -JS

“If you equate people agreeing with you as them caring about you then you can never institute respect because you will always feel disrespect in disagreement” –JS

“When our value is established in agreement of opinions, when someone disagrees with you, you are also feeling controlled. –JS

“You have to have a higher goal of connection than the similarity of beliefs.” –BR

“Modern segregation is: if I disagree with your beliefs then I have to separate myself from you.” –BR

“We live in a current culture where we are reinforcing that thoughts and perspectives are an assessment of your value.” –JS

“It easy to form community around a common enemy than to build unity around a vision.” –BR

“For people that are the aggressor in the relationship you need to create a safe place by communicating with the other person that you want both parties to have a voice.” -BR

“You will know if there are two powerful people if you can both say: ‘we care enough to be wrong and okay with that.’” –JS

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