The Jonathan Wier Show

Latest Episodes:

The Hangout: “Dog contraception is just food.” Jul 09, 2025

Show notes

00:00 – Jonathan’s Lazy Introduction
Jonathan explains why this episode is technically still daily content—because editing is a pain and Cody Akins is a godsend.

01:35 – The Boston Accent Strikes Again
Ayla tries (and fails) a Boston accent, which Jonathan says sounds more like JLo from Queens.

04:41 – Southern Charm vs. New England Brash
Ayla shares stories about her Southern coworker and how Boston people “just keep talking.” Jonathan tries to paddle back from calling her pushy.

08:26 – “Are You Jonathan Weir?” (Uh-oh.)
Jonathan recalls getting recognized in a Walmart... by someone he blocked from the text line six years ago. Spoiler: It wasn’t a friendly reunion.

09:13 – The Popeyes Meltdown
Jonathan and Ayla analyze a viral video of a man screaming at a Popeyes employee for complimenting his wife. Is it gallant, unhinged, or both?

20:21 – “I Put an Extra Breast in There for You”
The hypothetical woman-flirting-with-your-husband scenario spirals out of control—with chicken-based innuendo and all.

25:36 – Dog Contraception Is Just Food
An unhinged but deeply logical conclusion: dogs would abandon mating for fried chicken. The future of pet birth control?

31:49 – Santa Fe Paid Someone Off
Ayla and Jonathan are baffled by Santa Fe being ranked the top city in the U.S. and dive into conspiracy mode about the travel industry.

33:49 – The Great Bath Controversy
Jonathan explains why he didn’t shower before work: Finn was taking a bath, and he didn’t want to ask Katie to stop it... so he powdered his head instead.

39:05 – Talcum Trauma and Butt Powder
Ayla mishears “baby powder” and things take a very weird turn involving boofing, colon cancer, and Supreme Court confirmation hearings.

41:19 – The Worst Ways to Die
Ayla says falling off a cliff is the worst way to go. Jonathan one-ups her with “scaphism,” which is somehow worse than it sounds.

44:44 – Why We Don’t Torture Anymore (Mostly)
They wrap up with a weirdly thoughtful reflection on how public executions were once family entertainment. You know, light stuff.

46:26 – Main Character Syndrome and Scratch-Offs
Ayla compares Squid Game to real life. Jonathan admits he wouldn’t even play—because he knows he’d die in round one.

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Episode 1043: “I’m the first person to ever be named Jonathan. It’s true — don’t look that up.” Jul 08, 2025

Show notes

Jonathan explores a variety of topics ranging from random facts about the NBA and John Lennon to humorous anecdotes about animal encounters and personal updates. The show culminates in a one-sided debate on whether cereal qualifies as soup.

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Jonologue: “I’ve had Taco Bell four days in a row. And tomorrow... it’ll probably be five.” Jul 07, 2025

Show notes

00:00
Introduction to the Jonologue
03:07
Random Facts and Trivia
05:57
People Having a Worse Day Than You
18:19
Solitaire: Would You Rather?

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"Grip it and rip it man." Jun 23, 2025

Show notes

00:00
Introduction and Personal Updates
03:08
Marriage and Relationships
06:01
Nostalgia and Its Impact
08:57
Social Media and Complaining Culture
12:11
Business Reviews and Customer Expectations
14:59
Sports Talk: NFL Predictions
24:32
Chiefs' Super Bowl Prospects
30:17
Mental Fortitude in Football
37:37
Social Media Dynamics
46:17
Comedy and Social Media Influence

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Too Little, Too Late: Ai is the modern nuclear arms race but computers are lazy in the future May 27, 2025

Show notes

We talk about the looming threat of Ai. We talk about how no one actually wears nude underwear (especially Chris Pratt). We talk about Terminator and lazy computers

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Episode 1038: Drain Bamage - The Luanne Conspiracy and Other King of the Hill Theories Mar 26, 2025

Show notes

In this episode, Jonathan Wier is joined by James and Cody for a hilarious and increasingly unhinged exploration of King of the Hill fan theories. It starts off sane but quickly descends into beautiful madness—what they call the King of the Hill conspiracy iceberg.

The crew tackles questions like:

Why did Luanne give up auto repair? (Possible diagnosis: drain damage.)

Did Peggy suffer brain damage after a skydiving mishap?

Did Cotton Hill fake his death and flee to Japan?

Why does Bobby own a Bart Simpson doll if The Simpsons is just a TV show in that universe?

And is Dale exterminating bugs as a lifelong vendetta against his dad?

Along the way, they spiral into tangents about Rocky villains, microwave-sized shoes, the myth of Peggy’s size 16.5 feet, and a serious debate over who’s hotter on Modern Family.

If you love King of the Hill, weird fan theories, and grown men bonding over animated sitcoms, this episode is pure comfort food with a propane aftertaste.

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"Eat Like a Baby, Swear Like an Adult" Mar 25, 2025

Show notes

In this wide-ranging episode, Jonathan and Cody reunite to ask the big questions:

When do you stop being “from Kansas City”?

Why are people pretending not to swear when they stub their toe?

And is there really only 8 billion people on Earth? Because it sure feels like more.

Jonathan tells the story of how he lost a sale by telling someone from Salem, MA that she is not, in fact, “from Boston.” Cody coins the phrase “New Orleans Chiefs,” and the guys debate whether moving the Royals across the state line actually matters. Spoiler: it doesn’t if you’re from Cass County.

They also rip apart the new “Eat Like a Baby” diet (Jonathan: “Babies eat slow because they have no teeth!”), and break down the cultural phenomenon of the Hot Mugshot Girl, who may or may not be getting arrested for clout. That naturally leads to a conversation about attractive people getting out of speeding tickets and the complicated ethics of body cams, crime, and charisma.

Also in the mix:

Why men become obsessed with mowing the lawn after age 30

Whether tall grass once hid saber-toothed mole cats

And why the real freaks are the 26% of people who claim they don’t swear when they stub their toe

As always, Cody wraps things up with some real talk about his tech shop, Akins PC Repair, and their new line of gear that might just outlast your laptop, your phone, and possibly your next several relationships.

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A Non-Chiefs Episode: Save a Horse, Ride a Mummy Feb 17, 2025

Show notes

In this episode, Jonathan and James tackle life's most pressing questions with their usual mix of humor, skepticism, and existential dread. Why do people trust AI to make decisions for them, even when it's clearly wrong? How is it possible that intelligent life should be everywhere in the universe, yet we've found nothing? And in perhaps the most unsettling discovery of the week—Egyptian mummies actually smell amazing.

They also go on wild detours about the global chicken census (which James wildly overestimates), reminisce about pandemic-era absurdities, and consider whether aliens are just watching us like a cosmic reality show. Oh, and if you're wondering what a 2 AM walk with a dog and zero signs of human life feels like—it might just be the start of an alien abduction.

Come for the thought-provoking discussion, stay for the revelation that maybe—just maybe—you should save a horse and bang a mummy.

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Episode 1036: The Chiefs Lost?! "This Is the Rest of Your Life, Kid" Feb 10, 2025

Show notes

The Kansas City Chiefs lost the Super Bowl, and Jonathan had to console his son Finn, who had never experienced a Chiefs team that didn’t win it all. As Finn sat under his blanket, quietly crying, Jonathan delivered a brutal yet honest life lesson: This is the rest of your life, kid. Because whether it’s football, movies, or anything you love, eventually, it’s going to break your heart.

Jonathan and Cody unpack the aftermath of the Chiefs' Super Bowl defeat, the meltdown of young fans, and the weird relief of experiencing garbage time Mahomes for the first time. They also tackle the Mahomes vs. Brady GOAT debate, the eerie parallels between this loss and the 2020 Super Bowl loss to the Buccaneers, and why Andy Reid’s future plans should give Chiefs fans hope.

Plus, if you think Kadarius Toney is the hero we needed, you might want to check your Bat-Signal.

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Episode 1035: Deal with it. A POST AFC CHAMPIONSHIP WIN CHIEFS PODCAST! Jan 26, 2025

Show notes

Join Jonathan Wier and Cody Akins for a spirited post-AFC Championship celebration as they break down the Kansas City Chiefs' thrilling victory on their way to yet another Super Bowl appearance. From the emotional highs to the nail-biting moments, they reflect on the game, discuss key plays, and revel in the dynasty that is the Kansas City Chiefs. Whether you're a die-hard fan or just love football, this episode captures the magic of Chiefs Kingdom in full glory.

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