The Jayson Gaddis Podcast

Latest Episodes:

SC 18 - How Therapist Bruce Tift Helped Me Have The Balls To Marry My Wife Sep 30, 2015

Show notes

Bruce was one of THE pivotal factors in helping me marry my wife before she slammed the door shut on me. Hear that story in this episode and why it’s so common for couples to struggle. Bruce offers a powerful frame for relationship and intimacy and makes the distinction between the developmental work we need to do, and the possibility that we are “already free” in relationship. Check it.

SHOWNOTES:

How Jayson met Bruce [1:15]
“I give [Bruce] credit for saving my marriage” – Jayson [2:30]
Start of interview [3:50]
How does ambivalence factor into a long-term relationship? [6:15]
The interplay of the basic energies of separation and connection [8:30]
Intimacy vs. Closeness [12:30]
Bruce’s core philosophy [15:30]
Relationship is like riding a bicycle…it’s all about balance [17:15]
A good first step for couples stuck in an adversarial relationship – The practice of personal responsibility [21:31]
Why it’s important to let go of claiming that your partner is the cause of your difficult emotions [23:50]
Bruce shares about his marriage [26:00]
Bruce shares his story of becoming a therapist [31:00]
What is a “successful relationship”? [38:00]
Bruce shares how parenting has impacted his relationships and his life [42:15]
Having kids is a real good practice in how willing are we to let another person just be who they are. [45:40]
Sexual intimacy in a long-term relationship [45:50]
Approaching sexuality as a disciplined practice [50:30]
Bruce talks about personal responsibility [54:40]
Bruce shares about his new book Already Free – [1:00:00]

SC 17 - Women's Sexuality - Christiane Pelmas and Rensselear Resch Sep 23, 2015

Show notes

I got a serious education in this interview with Christiane and Ren. I can get so focused on men’s issues that I lose sight of what’s occurring for women. So, needless to say, this episode was very helpful. Since I have a daughter, I’m particularly interested in how to raise her in a “good” way around her own sexuality. Sure, my wife’s got so much of that covered, but as her Dad, I’m eager to support her unfolding in the most beautiful way possible. So, thanks to these two women and the women who were brave enough to ask some tough questions of themselves and their sexuality. I’m learning and I’m grateful.

SHOWNOTES:

What lead Christiane into teaching sexuality [8:20]
How Ren became a sexual educator – [9:30]
What it was like for Ren to grow up in a household that was shame-free around sex – [10:30]
Common sexual initiations for girls – [12:30]
Sexual co-exploring between children; when is it ok? – [14:20]
Why it’s important for parents to do their own work around sex – [17:20]
Common roadblocks for a girl growing into her sexuality – [18:50]
Sexual pain-points for women in long-term relationship [21:40]
What is Erotic Intelligence? [24:40]
Going into sexual wounds to heal them – [27:30]
How men try to please women in the bedroom – [36:15]
An example of a cop-out in the bedroom [39:55]
What blocks us from knowing what we want in the bedroom- [44:25]
Simple practices for women to move toward sovereignty – [50:55]
The female orgasm – [58:50]
Parting comments – [1:04:55]
Q&A Section – [1:07:50]
How do I heal the rift between my heart and my sex?
What is the biggest obstacle for women to experience orgasm?
How do I connect healthily to my sexuality in the midst of a busy life-style?
And many more heartfelt questions

SC 16 - Cock Talk - Men’s Sexual Issues - David Cates Sep 15, 2015

Show notes

This is another great podcast, and our first one around sexuality, especially as it pertains to men (women’s sexuality coming in the next episode). David and I explore my own challenges and triumphs and what’s going on in the male mind when it comes to getting stuck around “performing” in the bedroom. You’ll dig it.

SHOWNOTES:

Intro to David Cates [1:16]
Start of the interview [4:00]
How Jayson reached out to David when he was struggling sexually [5:25]
Men stuck in the “performance game” [8:05]
Your Cock is a Barometer. Learn to trust it [9:04]
What performance-based sex looks like [14:45]
A hallmark of fully mature sex [16:00]
Where to start developing a mature sex life [18:58]
Sexual pain is just a signal for attention [21:00]
When porn becomes a problem [24:00]
What to do when given the advice “just have sex” [27:55]
Partner Intimacy Practice 31:30]
How to do your deep breathing in the practice [38:33]
How to touch each other in the practice [40:00]
What about performance anxiety for women? [42:56]
Finding the right pace – and getting unstuck from your habits [46:34]
Rediscovering your heart in your sex life [49:00]
Giving yourself permission to be who you are in the bedroom [54:00]
The one thing a listener could take from David Cates [56:20]

SC 15 - Ayahuasca & Relationships - Geoff Hanzlik and Richard Furr Sep 08, 2015

Show notes

Can plant medicine such as Ayahuasca help our marriages? In this episode I interview two very experienced guests who have both done over 500 ceremonies with this sacred medicine. We dive deep into this question, highlighting Ayahuasca’s strengths as a healing modality and where this medicine may fall short when it comes to interpersonal relationships.

SHOWNOTES:

Jayson’s early Ayahuasca experiences [2:30]
Intro to Geoff Hanzlik [4:50]
Intro to Richard Furr [5:45]
Beginning of interview [6:50]
Geoff shares how early depression lead him to Ayahuasca [8:40]
Richard shares how he entered the Ayahuasca path [11:35]
What exactly is Ayahuasca? [14:20]
Potential dangers and downsides of Ayahuasca [17:35]
Can this medicine “make you more sensitive”? [22:45]
Is group processing needed before and after ceremonies? [25:00]
Bringing therapy into the conversation [26:00]
The greatest thing the medicine taught Jayson [28:50]
Does Ayahuasca help with our intimate relationships? [30:55]
How would one use Ayahuasca to help their relationship life? [39:30]
Richard helps those struggling to integrate their Ayahuasca experience [44:15]
Inner depth healing vs. developing relational skills – [48:00]
Ayahuasca is not a ‘quick fix’ [51:10]
“This isn’t a ‘dabblers’ path” [54:50]
Richard shares the dangers of pushing Ayahuasca on others [1:00:00]
How are relational dynamics addressed in spiritual communities? [1:05:00]

SC 14 - Your Edgy Relationship Questions Sep 03, 2015

Show notes

In this episode Jayson fields a bunch of great questions from listeners like you.

Here are a few of the edited questions:

Do you work with people who are actively having an affair and want to continue it?
How do I deal with a partner who refuses to do the work?
What do I do when I fall out of love with my partner?
How can I feel sexually empowered in a relationship when my partner lacks both the desire to have sex and the desire to talk about it?
How do I deal with the loss of my partner?
How do I tell someone what I need in a way that doesn’t shame them or make them wrong?
How do I work through conflict when my partner is stuck in denial?

SC 13 - MDMA in Relationships? - Dr Will Vanderveer Aug 30, 2015

Show notes

Can MDMA help our relationships if we do this in a legit way? I explore this question with Dr Vanderveer and we zero in on some key factors if you want to improve your marriage or relationship life using medicine such as MDMA.

SHOWNOTES

Jayson shares his own experiences with MDMA – [1:50]
The Low-Down on MDMA trials [4:55]
Who is MDMA for? [6:20]
What a MDMA-assisted psychotherapy session looks like [8:28]
“There’s something really warm and cozy about that” [10:50]
Why use MDMA? -Tapping into shared humanity. [13:22]
Why does traditional therapy often fall short? [14:45]
The importance of integration and structured therapy with MDMA [18:55]
Jayson’s MDMA use in college [20:40]
Learning to use MDMA safely [24:00]
The “Quality”Problems that MDMA-assisted-therapy brings [35:55]
Jayson’s experience of a facilitated MDMA session [38:05]
Integrating these experiences into your relationships [40:30]
“The context is everything” [44:15]
State-Changes vs Trait-Changes [45:30]
The future of MDMA-assisted psychotherapy [53:10]

SC 12 - The 3 Evolutionary Drivers In Relationship - Dr. Keith Witt Aug 25, 2015

Show notes

Man is this guy a force! I dive into a vibrant conversation with integral-psychotherapist and writer Dr. Keith Witt. Topics range from growth, depression, working with shadow, evolutionary drivers, marriage, parenting and much more. Bring a notepad for this one! And, get the rewind button ready…

SHOWNOTES:

Everything is relationships [2:33]
Rediscovering monogamy [4:20]
How to “make it” in long term relationship [5:05]
Getting aligned in your growth [6:15]
Causes and cures of depression [8:40]
Different kinds of shadow [9:55]
The two characteristics of humans in relationships [12:43]
Understanding our kids’ motivations [16:45]
The Three Evolutionary ‘drivers’ in relationship (and pitfalls) [18;09]
Integral Mindfulness in relationships. [22:54]
Relationships and Kids – and tackling the challenges of it [26:13]
The transition to middle age [28:37]
What Keith Witt does in his relationships – “Romantic Fridays” [30:24]
The ‘evolution’ of our empathy [36:30]
The necessity of shame [39:30]
Secure attachment explained [47:15]
Developing mindfulness – learn to self observe [53:37]
Final Advice from Keith Witt [01:01:30]

SC 11 - Alignment is the New Sexy - Jayson Gaddis Aug 19, 2015

Show notes

People don’t trust you when you are misaligned. You say you’re “fine” but really you feel angry. Or you say “I love you” but your body language is saying something different. This causes people to pull back from you.

The more congruent someone is the more trustworthy they are.

We get really pissed when our partner is out of alignment. In fact, we even resent them over time. But that is often a reflection of our own misalignment.

In This episode you will learn:

Dealing with the ‘I’m Fine’ moment – Unlearning incongruency [1:33]
Alignment in your marriage and work [6:00]
Being ‘on the path’ to alignment [9:10]
Tool: Sharing the Impact of non-alignment [10:07]

SC 10 - 4 Premarital Conversations You Must Have - Jay Cadet Aug 16, 2015

Show notes

This episode is key for millennials who are about to get married. Too many people skip this conversation prior to marriage.

IN THIS EPISODE, You will learn:

How to tell the difference between honesty and reckless honesty.
The three criteria of honest communication
How to offer honesty without being critical.
One question to ask before saying anything ‘honest’
How honest communication without shaming can move your relationship forward
Learning to receive feedback well
The 4 conversations every unmarried couple needs to have (16:45)
How to create space for honest feedback
Dealing with arguments and conflict in an effective way
Knowing when and when not to seek professional help
How to have the ‘money’ conversation, especially for young people
Keeping things fresh and alive for the long-term
The importance of being friends with other couples

SC 9 - Why People Have Affairs and What to Do if it Happens to You Aug 12, 2015

Show notes

Affairs are so intense. When I was 20 or so I cheated on my girlfriend. When I was 32 or so I had an emotional affair. In this episode I share more about what I learned about myself during those and then I discuss why so many affairs happen and what you can do about it.

IN THIS EPISODE, You will learn:

how to deal with tears and anger in the fire of an affair
how to move past an affair with the learning and insight
how to move from an affair onto a path of personal development and growth
how to see yourself differently in what may lead to an affair
how to recognize the “victim” mentality and re-empower yourself
how fear plays a crucial role in causing an affair
why coming back into your heart is essential to preventing an affair
about effective methods for dealing with affairs

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