The Grumpy Strategists

Latest Episodes:

Walk This Way: Grumpies & ADM cover Defence hit 'Slowrollin' & try the new Coke Zero flavour of US alliances Mar 11, 2025

Show notes

Like Run DMC & Aerosmith's "Walk This Way" collaboration, except on.....defence stuff....Marcus & Michael join the AustDefMagazine crew to assess Defence officials' patient explanations of why everything they touch takes 10 years, minimum. Marcus reveals his previous career in standover work & organised crime as we assess Trump 2.0 6 weeks in. And we look at AUKUS' health and reason for living in the new world.

With thanks to Pres Trump & the 3 PLA warships for highlighting the urgency of increasing Australia's military power quickly.

Episode 33 - Grumpy Strategists live at the Australian Defence Magazine 2025 Congress Feb 27, 2025

Show notes

Recorded at the 2025 Australian Defence Magazine Congress, the Grumpies look at the world & ask so what? Oz is facing a national crisis due to events in the US, with Russia & Europe, & given disturbing scenarios for next steps here in the Indo Pacific. Damage to fundamental underpinnings of the decades long AUKUS project & the core of the Oz-US alliance are serious enough that alternative measures like hedging with others & increasing our own capacity are essential. But bipartisanship on Defence won't help - nor will throwing more cash at the broken department

When Karens take power; building a hedge of frigates, & missile maths - Episode 32 Feb 14, 2025

Show notes

The Grumpy Strategists apply science to the Australian government's early engagement with the Trump Administration. Insights from prey species threatened by a predator help. They look at Japan's approach to hedging against US risks and how this connects to the new frigate program & Australia. The episode ends going through the numbers on US Navy missile use in the Red Sea, and celebrating the ridiculous - ludicrous even - success that the latest numbers from Defence on exports indicate.

Episiode 31- Biden valedictory, Trump 2.0 prelude & Bad Santa's little Canberra helpers release more reviews Jan 21, 2025

Show notes

Marcus and Michael are back after a luxurious break to assess what Joe Biden ever did for us, what Trump 2.0 looks like as the rollercoaster starts, and what the unsleeping Australian Govt elves got up to over the Christmas period (these elves seem to be Bad Santa's little helpers). & we cover the Varghese review's approach to anyone providing alternative ideas to Canberra's Public Service mandarins - they'll be looked after as well as the Soviets cared for the Czar's children.

Defence's disappointing Annual Report & Hypersonic Hyperbole meets Houthi hard work Dec 01, 2024

Show notes

In Episode 30, Marcus and Michael look at what the numbers in Defence's Annual Report tell us about Defence's 'fasttracked' work on missiles, helicopters & ships. The numbers show systemic underachievement, not the generational, transformational change we hear so often from ministers & officials. Parents would be very unhappy with this report on their Defence child. But Houthi progress is impressive, as is the historic growth in senior Defence positions.

Episode 29: Washington cyber hygiene. Military shrinks while plans proliferate, Marles keeps balls in the air Nov 13, 2024

Show notes

The Grumpy Strategists answer the call from Australia's Embassy in Washington. They search for meaning in Defence's new religious texts - the Strategic Review and Defence Strategy - amongst the snowstorm of other reviews, strategies & plans. The new Workforce Plan gets a makeover - it's now beige. A Senate Estimates satellite highlight gets airtime, while the Chief of Navy and Deputy Prime Minister Marles show their mettle.

Episode 28: Sub schedules on fire, Deterrence by Documentation & a guided weapons go slow Nov 04, 2024

Show notes

With a fire in the UK's sub construction facility & US sub production slowing, the only good news is that predictions of delay are apparently ahead of schedule....Meanwhile, a new Guided Weapons plan establishes two things: 1. Deterrence by Documentation, given the heavy weight of paper Australia can now bring to bear on itself & its adversaries - and 2. a shed CAN take 8 years to announce & build,

Episode 27 - Gullible Goldfish, Ghost Fleets & a nasty bout of 'enshittification' Oct 23, 2024

Show notes

The Grumpy Strategists analyse two big announcements - the $20bn Henderson shipbuilding precinct & a $7bn deal on missiles apparently wrangled by Delivery Minister Pat Conroy. They also get close to the bottom of the mysterious Offshore Patrol Vessel mystery, and come to terms with the digital world's new term of art: 'enshittification' and what lessons it holds about Australian Defence organisation outcomes. With thanks to The Little Black Book of Scams.

Episode 26: Acceleration - that word doesn't mean what you think it means Sep 25, 2024

Show notes

The Grumpy Strategists discuss what Acceleration means inside the walls of Australia's Defence organisation. Defence Science 'accelerates' - with a bold plan to deliver by 2034 what it had committed to deliver by 2030. Blackhawk helicopter deliveries accelerate by slowing down. And submarine & Hunter frigate cost spirals keep on keeping on. Good news - US consultancy spend is up on subs, our Aussie cash is helping out. Oh, & there's some Army chat too.

Episode 25 -the Army gets wet. An empty AUKUS sub plan damages trust Sep 12, 2024

Show notes

On the Grumpy Strategists' 1st birthday, Marcus and Michael assess the Army's new plan to get wet & find that the Army's focus is on its exquisite small force, with no plans for expansion during a war and with its new maritime strike mission yet to shift thinking from the traditional land battle role. And the Australian Sub Agency's new Corporate Plan is disturbingly full of circular logic but content free. That's bad for growing trust in the Agency to deliver, particularly when contrasted with the practical detail available on UK sub issues.

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