The Good Enough Mother

Latest Episodes:

71. Transformative relationship-based parenting tools - with Fiona from Mama Matters Jun 06, 2022

Show notes

In this conversation with Fiona you’ll hear us both talk about our personal experiences of mothering our children and some of the challenges we’ve experienced (and continue to experience). Fiona shares how understanding information about temperament, sensory preferences, and connection-based, relationship-building parenting ‘tools’, can transform how we see our children - and ourselves. You’ll hear us discuss*: - How to contextualise and understand our experiences of parenting, to support us in trying to see the world through our children’s eyes - What the 'goodness of fit' is and why it matters in our parenting - How to recognise quirks in your child as temperamental tendencies, temperament traits or sensitivity traits - Meeting our children not only where they’re at, but also as who they are - How to understand who your children are, with all of their temperament traits and sensory preferences - The importance of how we perceive our children and why this really matters in how we parent them - Why separation based techniques don’t necessarily work for children - Giving yourself permission as a parent to hold that bigger, holistic focus in parenting in mind as we navigate day-to-day challenges - Why it’s more common than you think that parents feel resentment towards their child or baby - What attuning to our children actually means Founder of Mama Matters, Fiona is a Social Worker turned Infant Sleep Specialist. She provides attachment-centred, real-life parenting and sleep support to responsive parents and their renegade babies and kids. She is passionate about busting through the mistruths of the mainstream sleep industry and empowering parents to parent in alignment with their values, with evidence-based, biologically normal sleep advice and relationship-centred approaches to optimising sleep and wellbeing for families. Connect with Fiona further - www.mamamatters.com.au www.instagram.com/mamamatters.au/ hello@mamamatters.com.au Podcast: Mama Chatters Explore Fiona’s offerings: www.mamamatters.com.au/workwithme . . . The Motherhood Studies Practitioner Certification 2022 begins June 20th. Enrolment is currently open, closing June 16th. Learn more and here - https://drsophiebrock.com/motherhoodstudies/ . . . *explicit language in this episode

70. My Path to Becoming a 'Motherhood Studies Sociologist' May 30, 2022

Show notes

I'm often asked this question and in the spirit of relaunching the podcast felt it might be helpful to share the path I've taken to becoming a Motherhood Studies Sociologist - essentially a social scientist whose focus is Mothers and Motherhood. This episode is another personal share where I talk about: - how I first discovered Motherhood Studies - what it was like researching this area before I was a Mother myself - why I came to be interested in my subject matter - tracing back to my own family experience - my journey of finishing my studies, becoming pregnant, going through a divorce and reorienting my career focus to lead me to what I do today I hope this episode offers you some insight into my journey and leads you to reflect on your own evolving journey of your 'self' in the context of your broader relationships, life experiences, and motherhood. . . . If you'd like to join me for the Introduction to Motherhood Studies Webinar Wednesday June 1st 8.30pm AEST, register to reserve your place. If you can't attend live you will receive a replay to watch in your own time. https://drsophiebrock.com/introductiontomotherhoodstudies Content covered: - What is Motherhood Studies? - Where did Motherhood Studies come from? - Why you likely haven’t heard more about Motherhood Studies yet - What some of the key Motherhood Studies teachings are from a sociological perspective - The ‘missing pieces’ and gaps in current knowledge and practice - An overview of Sophie’s conceptual frameworks and theoretical contributions - How Motherhood Studies informed theory can help you and your clients

69. I'm back! :) And where I've been... May 24, 2022

Show notes

Hello and welcome back, or welcome for the first time! In this episode I share: - where things have been for me as a mother, creator and business owner over the last 6 months or so - why I took a step back from podcast recording - what my purpose is in relaunching the podcast All of my work is focused on examining the social structures and cultural narratives of Motherhood that individual mothers live within, and as a mother who lives within the very society and culture I'm critiquing, I'm of course subject to its challenges! Also being a business owner, entrepreneur, and independent academic, brings with it experiences where I'm navigating what I call the 'care/career conundrum' in a way that allows me flexibility but also sometimes a lack of stability as a consequence of the 'piecing together of the puzzle'. This navigation is also in the context of my experience as a single mother, and some health challenges my daughter has experienced recently. I talk through some of these challenges in the context of my own personal experiences as both a mother and professional. . . . Join the waitlist for the 2022 round of The Motherhood Studies Practitioner Certification beginning June 20th - https://drsophiebrock.com/motherhoodstudies/

68. A New Take on 'The Mummy Wars’ Oct 12, 2021

Show notes

What have we been led to believe about the ‘mummy wars’ and how do they relate to patriarchal motherhood and ‘the perfect mother myth’? These are the questions I address in this episode of the podcast, where I offer a new lens through which to understand ‘mummy wars’. This is with an intention of helping you develop an ‘antenna’ as a cultural assessor, where you can pick up, observe, get curious about, and assess instances where you see the ‘mummy wars’ either playing out OR being referred to. I describe the mummy wars as both a symptom of AND a product of patriarchal Motherhood – creating environments where we come to judge ourselves and each other. The sense of ‘competition’ that is spoken about in motherhood is also a reflection of the social narratives around competition and comparison between women – and mothers especially. I suggest that this priming into focusing on other mothers (and judging ourselves) is part of what dilutes our power and potential for changing the broader culture and systems that impact Mothers. I explain how and why the ‘mummy wars’ can only be sustained and produced if ‘boxes’ and categories of ‘types of mothers’ exist. Sometimes labels can be helpful tools to allow us to find a sense of belonging within community, and build identity. But sometimes the very tools we draw on to build our sense of identity and connection within motherhood, can shift into constraining limits. A deconstruction of the ‘mummy wars’ actually means reconstructing what it means to be a mother in our society and culture and reclaiming the fluidity and ever-changing nature of our identity. . . . I refer to my concepts of The Fish-Tank of Motherhood Model©, The Good Mother Bad Mother Binary© and The Care/Career Conundrum© Find graphics and information on all of these here: https://drsophiebrock.com/conceptualmodels

67. Housework is not Mothering Sep 27, 2021

Show notes

Anyone who has had children or cared for children knows that they contribute to the creation of housework! But the work that goes into the domestic sphere of housework, is different from the work that goes into care-giving and mothering. The two are connected, but conflating them as meaning the same thing, leads to huge pressures and ‘shoulds’ in Motherhood. This leads to feelings of guilt, comparison, inadequacy and overwhelm. Conflating housework and mothering can also invisibilise the nurturance, love, maternal thinking, and emotional labour that goes into raising children. I explain some of the reasons why I think the two are conflated - by talking about the 'public' and 'private' spheres of 'work' and 'home'. When mothering is devalued, and how ‘on top of’ the housework we are is connected with our value and worthiness as women and mothers – we can become trapped in never-ending cycles of never feeling ‘enough’. While unpacking these connections, I also explain why I caution against denigrating housework and seeing domestic labour as ‘lesser than’ other forms of work. I explain why I think the conflation of housework and mothering-work is a function of patriarchal Motherhood and the perfect mother myth, and call for us individually and collectively to begin breaking this association and reclaiming our power, our worth, and our value. . . . Watch 3min animation on Sophie's one-of-a-kind sociological model for understanding Motherhood - https://drsophiebrock.com/thefishtankofmotherhood

66. Rage and Anger in Motherhood Sep 13, 2021

Show notes

What remains ‘under the surface’ in Motherhood and still so taboo to talk about directly? ‘Mom-rage’. Minna Dubin published two articles in The New York Times on maternal rage. In this conversation we reflect on Minna’s experience of publishing on this taboo topic, as well as her journey in writing a book about ‘mom rage’ due out in 2023 (available for pre-order in 2022 through her website below). Minna is a writer, workshop facilitator and occasional public artist, located in California. Her essays and reported stories on motherhood and identity have appeared in outlets like The New York Times, Parents, HuffPost, The Forward, Hobart, and The Philadelphia Inquirer. You can read Minna’s articles that we refer to in this episode here: https://www.nytimes.com/2020/04/15/parenting/mother-rage.html?module=editors-picks&action=click&region=2 https://www.nytimes.com/2020/07/06/parenting/mom-rage-pandemic.html I ask Minna about her experience of writing a book about such a taboo topic, and she shares some insights from those she has interviewed. We reflect on the cycles of anger and guilt, shame spirals, factors that exacerbate maternal rage, the privilege that is drawn on in order to talk about this topic, how ‘speaking things into existence’ can make them seem more real, and why we are working to resist pathologization while still acknowledging the linking of maternal rage/anger with maternal mood disorders. . . . You can connect with Minna through her website and be sure to keep an eye out for the release of her book - http://minnadubin.com/ . . . Access Sophie’s free training on her sociological model of Motherhood here: https://drsophiebrock.com/freetraining Learn more about the certification beginning Sept 20th here: https://drsophiebrock.com/motherhoodstudies/ Access Sophie’s free training on the anger-guilt-trap cycle in Motherhood here: https://drsophiebrock.com/anger-guilt-trap . . . *Anger can be both normal, and a feature of a postnatal mood disorder such as postnatal depression or anxiety, please contact a health professional if you feel overwhelmed by maternal anger or rage. If you are experiencing anger or maternal rage that interferes with your daily life that you feel you cannot control, please make an appointment with your GP or trusted healthcare professional. Normalising the spectrum of emotions women as mothers feel does not equate with condoning aggression towards or neglect of children. . . . Support lines Australia - https://www.panda.org.au/ - 1300 726 306 UK - https://pandasfoundation.org.uk/ - 0808 1961 776 USA - https://www.postpartum.net/ - Text “Help” to 800-944-4773 (EN)

65. Why 'Motherhood'? Claiming Space in our Culture and our Work Aug 30, 2021

Show notes

In this solo episode I reflect on my own journey of coming to Motherhood Studies and what is has meant to study Motherhood before coming a Mother myself. I share important distinctions between Motherhood the structure, Mothering the practice, and Mother the identity, and ponder on the ways our socialisation has set us up for a particular perspective on what it means to be a Mother and how this is perhaps connected to experiences of the ‘maternal’ being devalued socially and professionally. There is incredible power and potential in the practice of mothering and identity as a Mother, and we experience the complexity of our own matrescence journeys and rites of passage as Mothers. But these theories are distinct from (but connected to) the social institution of Motherhood that I critique, and that produces the perfect mother myth and its associated consequences. Making such distinctions allows us to be able to straddle the complexities and nuances that are so often necessary when discussing Motherhood, and supporting Mothers. In this episode I explore this claiming of space for the maternal, and reflect on the ways that Motherhood is simultaneously valorized and devalued, and how guilt is often a byproduct of our internalisation of patriarchal motherhood. . . . If you enjoyed this episode and would like to develop your lens as a ‘cultural assessor’ of Motherhood and explore more deeply the ways Motherhood is socially constructed, register for my upcoming free training. “The Fish-Tank of Motherhood Model” is a free training I’ll be running live on September 10th, 2021 at 8.30pm AEST (Sydney time). You can join me live on Zoom, or by registering you will also receive a replay of the training, available to watch for 7 days. Register for free training here: https://drsophiebrock.com/freetraining Find out more about The Motherhood Studies Practitioner Certification beginning September 20th here: https://drsophiebrock.com/motherhoodstudies

64. The Ecological Awakening of Motherhood Aug 16, 2021

Show notes

We may recognise, acknowledge, and seek to explore biological, psychological, and sociological dimensions that are involved in the transition to motherhood and experience of being a mother – but what about the ‘environmental’? Our environment and our relationship to the natural world is a critical lens through which we can interpret, explore, and understand our experience of Motherhood. This conversation is with Dr Allison Davis, a researcher, writer, counselor, and educator of maternal mental health. With an ecofeminist-informed, strength-based developmental framework she helps mothers challenge and reenvision motherhood norms and practices in pursuit of personal and planetary wellness. She’s also affiliate faculty at Alliant University where she teaches in the Masters of Clinical Counseling Program. Allison explores ‘mother praxis’, which is the possibility of a dynamic interplay between the THEORY and the PRACTICE of mothering, and in this conversation we explore what it means to bring in the environment through eco-therapy as a way of thinking about motherhood, and supporting Mothers. Allison invites us to consider a new way of thinking about the ‘motherwound’ through our attachment to nature, and we reflect on the ways our children can open up possibility for our own ecological awakening. . . . Follow Allison @motherpraxis Want to explore whether you’re experiencing an ecological awakening, and learn more about the foundational mother wound? Then check out Dr Allison’s Free Mother Praxis Primer: www.motherpraxis.com/primer If you’d like to book in a session with Allison you can do so here: http://www.motherpraxis.com/support/ . . . For more information on the next round of Sophie’s Motherhood Studies Certification program head to: https://drsophiebrock.com/motherhoodstudies/

Ep 63. When Productivity in Motherhood is Linked to our Worthiness Aug 02, 2021

Show notes

In this episode I share my reflections on how the ‘perfect mother myth’ is linked to notions of productivity and worth, and add some nuance to the conversation about self-sacrifice in Motherhood. Sometimes, it can feel like there is a competition for busy-ness to try and prove how hard we are trying and how much it is we are carrying. At the same time though, there are tangible ways that make it feel like we can’t escape the weight of responsibilities, expectations, and demands that we face. It isn’t as easy as saying just ‘take a step back’. Sometime - if and when we do - there can be a lot of discomfort that arises, and in this episode I explore both what this can mean, where it comes from socially/culturally, and how we can use these experiences to open possibilities for rethinking what motherhood means. I offer a critique of individualism and explain some of the reasons why mothering work is so devalued in our society, as well as the ways our own internalization of martyrdom-motherhood can lead to feelings of resentment, anger and guilt. In this episode I rethink the common analogies we hear and use around filling of our ‘cups’ and placing of ‘oxygen masks’ on ourselves before others. This is with a view to disrupt some of the assumptions underlying what it means to be a ‘mother’ in our society, and challenge some of the beliefs we’ve internalized about our worth and value as women who mother. . . . Join The Liberated Motherhood Membership and get access to the members-only Liberated Motherhood podcast. Mini-episodes released every week. Current course: Transforming Martyrdom-Mothering https://drsophiebrock.com/liberatedmotherhood/

62. Awakening to the Possibilities of Birth Jul 19, 2021

Show notes

In this episode, Maha Al Musa, founder and creator of BellydanceBirth® and EmbodyBirthᵀᴹ shares her passion and advocacy for an expansion and reclaiming of what birth can mean, and how we as mothers experience and make meaning of our births. Maha is of Palestinian/Lebanese origin and draws on her cultural, ancestral, and mothering wisdom to teach her signature childbirth education and preparation programs for mothers-to-be and birth professionals. In the episode she shares part of her life story in being kidnapped as a baby and her connection to land and culture severed, and her amazing story of reconnection, right before she became a mother herself. Maha speaks about fear and patriarchy, the divisions that have been created between women when it comes to birth and motherhood, the rites of passage she has experienced through menopause and the powerful and revolutionary connections to be fostered between generations of women. . . . Maha is the author of Dance of the Womb: The Essential Guide to Belly Dance for Pregnancy and Birth book, endorsed by Dr Michel Odent, Sheila Kitzinger, Dr Sarah Buckley and the creator of the follow on BellydanceBirth® Practice Video Series (Dance of the Womb: A Gentle Guide to Belly Dance for Pregnancy and Birth). You can find her on Instagram @maha_al_musa Facebook at - https://www.facebook.com/mahaalmusabirthvisionary Maha’s website: mahaalmusa.com Online program: https://sales.mahaalmusa.com/embodybirth Virtual training: https://mahaalmusa.kartra.com/page/virtualtraining

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