The Gender Knot

Latest Episodes:

Does clothing shape gender identity? Sep 11, 2017

Show notes

Gender neutral clothing is all over the news at the moment. Just a few examples include school children protesting why girls and boys have to dress differently from each other and therefore encouraging their schools to change dress codes, and department stores who are doing away with gendered sections for clothing.
We talk to two guests who work in fashion and the clothing space. We talk the relationship between how they dress and their own gender identity, and how other people in society have responded to them. Both guests were born female, and one identifies as female while the other identifies as non-binary. How has clothing shaped their own gender identities? Should there be gendered sections in clothes shops? And what will happen if clothing becomes gender neutral?
Host & producer Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-Far
Co-producer Cady Voge
Guests Laura Kanaplue, producer of the London Queer Fashion Show Santina Sorrenti, founder of Gender Swap
Related links:
London Queer Fashion Show https://londonqueerfashionshow.com/
Gender Swap https://genderswapblog.wordpress.com/
The Gender Knot https://www.thegenderknot.com/
Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons) Sourpatch by Glass Boy (used under Creative Commons)

Hiding emotions Sep 04, 2017

Show notes

Dominating, debating, having to be right – these are just some behaviours that are often common in people with power. And they are often also used by in men in power (or are stereotypically more negative ‘masculine’ traits which end up being used in fields such as politics). Sometimes it’s like the world is run by teenage boys…
Cady Voge – The Gender Knot’s new co-producer - and host Nas discuss some a-ha moments where they realized other people doing this, and they propose a different and more open approach to conflict, disagreement and decision making.
Host Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-Far
Co-producer Cady Voge
Related links:
The Gender Knot http://thegenderknot.com/

Do men need purpose? Aug 28, 2017

Show notes

What is a man’s role in society these days? This question seems to be coming up again and again. The rise of women and feminism, together with changes in the economy, and globalization are some of the factors cited as having had a big impact on men and their sense of where they belong in society. For a while the expectation was that men were to work and to be providers for the family, but that’s not necessarily the case anymore, so where does that leave them?
Men grappling with their role and trying to find a sense of purpose is also not just a personal dilemma. There is much talk that some of the political unrest happening around the world over the past decade or so is also related to this, to the changing position of men in society and this lack of purpose that many are feeling, whether they are young men still trying to figure things out, or older men who’ve been working and providing for years, but are seeing what they do increasingly fall out of place in the modern workplace, which is also increasingly filled by women, who are on average also more educated.
You could say that everyone is after a sense of purpose, but there is a lot of talk about this with women and new roles and options and opportunities. I’d say it’s generally positive talk, as women open up more paths for themselves. In fact, pushing for equality itself gives one a huge sense of purpose. But what’s the deal with men? And why is there this insistence on men having to have a sense of purpose, can’t they just, you know, be? We chat to two men about their experiences with purpose and how it impacts men specifically, and take the untangling from there.
Host & producer Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-Far
Co-producer Cady Voge
Guests Justin Brown, co-founder of Ideapod https://www.ideapod.com/
Michael Michailidis
Related links:
The Gender Knot https://www.thegenderknot.com/
Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons) Sourpatch by Glass Boy (used under Creative Commons)

The Google Memo Aug 21, 2017

Show notes

A male product manager at a tech company gives his take on the Google Memo that’s been a big topic of discussion in recent weeks.
To bring you up to speed: a software developer at Google called James Demore wrote a memo about the company’s diversity policies. This memo spread fast internally before making it’s way outside Google and causing a lot of controversy, and led to him being fired by Google. Demore wrote largely about so-called scientific and psychological differences between men and women and how they explain the gender balance in tech, and provdes research to back up his claims. (See the links below for more details along with two very good articles discussing the memo.)
Alec Molloy has been a product manager for the past five years, and has worked in San Francisco, London and Malmo. He talks about how in some ways the memo accurately describes the situation within the tech industry, how it’s calm language is both dangerous and also something he thinks these debates could benefit more from, and what he hopes future generations will take away from the discussions about gender diversity in tech.
Host: Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-Far
Guest: Alec Molloy, product manager at a tech company
Links:
‘The Google Memo’ http://bit.ly/2ubOmpP) by James Damore
On Google’s firing of Damore http://read.bi/2uMBV3c
‘The email Larry Page should have written to James Damore’ http://econ.st/2vMFoAP
‘I’m a woman in computer science, let me ladysplain the Google Memo to you’ http://bit.ly/2uvAif6 by Cynthia Lee in Vox
‘The most common error in the media’s coverage of the Google Memo’ http://theatln.tc/2vgKtCN by Conor Friedersdorf in The Atlantic
The Gender Knot www.thegenderknot.com

A More Feminine Economy Aug 14, 2017

Show notes

‘The future is female’ – it’s a slogan we’re seeing increasingly, on t-shirts and placards and social media feeds. And there are currently plenty of important and necessary debates about getting more women into the upper echelons of business: more women on boards of companies, in industries such as science and tech, talk of how to retain women in the workforce after they start having families and much more.
But should we be focusing on just having more women in the most powerful positions in the economy, or should we be looking at reforming the nature of the economy itself? After all, capitalism and masculinity are closely entwined (a subject for an upcoming episode), in some ways good, and some ways less good. Instead of pushing to have more women in the economy, should we be pushing for the economy to embody more feminine traits instead? And what does a more feminine workplace and economy look like?
Host: Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-Far
Guests:
Eric Gade, trained historian and former intel analyst http://www.homoridiculus.com/
Jess Rimington, Visiting Scholar at Stanford University’s Global Projects Center http://www.jessrimington.org/
Related Links:
The Gender Knot www.thegenderknot.com
MastrMe http://mastr.me/
Rob Reich interview with Freakonomics https://bit.ly/2BJoIgk
Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons) Sourpatch by Glass Boy (used under Creative Commons)

Energies: Masculine & Feminine Aug 07, 2017

Show notes

What is masculine and feminine energy? This short and sweet episode lays down the basics!
We’ll find out what we mean when we talk about masculine and feminine energies (and traits), and our own relationship with these within ourselves.
Host: Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-Far
Guest: Jess Rimington, Visiting Scholar at Stanford University http://www.jessrimington.org/
Related Links:
The Gender Knot www.thegenderknot.com

Women's Groups, Men's Groups Jul 31, 2017

Show notes

Why are so many people around me suddenly joining men’s groups and women’s groups? Isn’t the notion of segregating ourselves due to gender a little… outdated? After all, so many of our social issues are related to us not knowing and being close to people who are different to us and experience the world in a way which we don’t. Don’t women’s groups and men’s groups just reinforce the notion of ‘the other’? And who said gender is so binary anyway?
We delve into whether there is still value in having these groups, and what various individuals have gotten out of them, and also speak to a guest who slated men’s groups on this very podcast, but is now a big fan!
Host: Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-Far
Guests:
Michelle Lim, relationships coach https://www.michellelim.co
Alex Linsley, founded a men’s group while a student
Ankush Jain, life coach and leader of a men’s immersion programme http://ankushjain.co.uk
Alec Molloy, member of a men’s group
Related links:
Tony Porter’s Ted Talk ‘The Man Box’ https://www.ted.com/talks/tonyporteracallto_men
The Gender Knot www.thegenderknot.com
Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons) Sourpatch by Glass Boy (used under Creative Commons)

Men and feminism – reactions! Jul 24, 2017

Show notes

Confusion, frustration, empathy, being able to relate – just some of the reactions I received from you, the audience, to last week’s episode exploring men and feminism, where we asked whether men should get involved in feminism, and if so, how.
Many female listeners unanimously related to one of the discussions last week, and I talk to two male listeners about the conversation on male feminists.
This topic is huge, so I’ll be following it up in a few weeks’ time. Send me your thoughts and experiences at thegenderknot@gmail.com or message me via the Facebook page.
Also, check out the fantastic podcast Fine and Dandy with Dan and Andy. This podcast is all about these questions! Comedians Daniel Carroll and Andy Haynes are straight-white-cis-American men, and they try to figure out how to be better men, in terms of gender, race, privilege, and much more! It’s a fun listen, while also tackling important topics with fantastic guests. Subscribe to their show via iTunes or the link below, and join their journey of figuring it out too!
Host: Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-Far
Guests: Jens Weymann, German male
Alec Molloy, American male
Podcast recommendation:
Fine and Dandy with Dan and Andy https://fineanddandypod.com/
The Gender Knot www.thegenderknot.com

Men and feminism Jul 17, 2017

Show notes

Should men be involved in feminism, and if so, how?
Men are super involved in feminism these days – and there appears to be a cultural trend in getting men involved in the fight for gender equality.
We’re seeing this daily: be it the UN’s HeForShe campaign which is all about this, or male celebrities like Pharrell Williams and Ashton Kutcher talking about rights for women (and of course, tennis player Andy Murray’s recent stand against casual sexism), and it seems like everyday there are articles in the world’s leading publications about all this too (a recent hit being the New York Times looking at how to raise feminist sons). It makes sense; men also need to change their attitudes and biases if we are to live in a world with gender equality, so of course they need to be part of the fight.
But what about when some men mean well but end up doing more harm than good? This episode explores that.
We look at male feminists – do they actually help the cause of feminism, or do they end up making everything about them, and in essence do they just talk over women, whose voices aren’t heard as much in first place? And should women ask for help from men to increase gender equality, and if so, how should they ask for this help so that it’s carried out most effectively? Or is catering the message so as not to upset men a problem in itself? We explore and untangle all this. And we also hear about the darker side too: the things that even progressive men don’t want to share publicly about their fears and resentments towards feminism…
Host: Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-Far
Guests:
Anonymous male essay writer from England
Lucy, woman from England
Michelle Lim, Relationship coach from the US and based in Sweden https://www.michellelim.co
Shea Wilson, American male living in Sweden
Related links:
The Gender Knot www.thegenderknot.com
Jackson Katz’s Tedx talk “Violence against women, it’s a men’s issue” https://www.ted.com/talks/jacksonkatzviolenceagainstwomenitsamensissue
Sheila Kelley’s Tedx talk “Let’s get naked” http://tedxamericanriviera.com/sheila-kelley-lets-get-naked/
Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons) Sourpatch by Glass Boy (used under Creative Commons)

Callout: workplace sexism & your experiences Jul 10, 2017

Show notes

What sort of sexism takes place in the workplace that we still don’t acknowledge or talk about?
There’s been a lot of talk about sexism in the technology industry, and over the past few weeks several high profile investors have publicly said that they may have contributed to a culture of sexism and harassment of women.
In the debates surrounding all this, I’ve been struck by the very nature of the workplace itself, I’ve been hearing about the ways in which a lot of people degrade themselves on some level for investors, and that the workplace is a brutal and ruthless place for everyone, it’s just that the details are different for the genders. Some of this I agree with, some I disagree with, but I’d like your experiences. What sort of sexism takes place at work that we still don’t talk about? And besides just sexism, should we be overhauling the entire culture of many industries and workplaces in the first place?
Send your thoughts to thegenderknot@gmail.com - or find us on Facebook as The Gender Knot Podcast, where you can also send a message. Let me know if you’re happy to have your message read out on the show, and it’s also ok to be anonymous, just state that. Otherwise let me know if you just want to pass a thought on or if you want to talk to me more about it all. Also voice memos are great, and so do send those along too.
Host: Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-Far
Associated links:
Nas www.twitter.com/ntavakolifar
The Gender Knot www.facebook.com/thegenderknot

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