The Gender Knot

Latest Episodes:

Fearing ambitious women Jun 18, 2018

Show notes

In season 2 we explored why we’re scared of ambitious women, and talked to our co-producer Sam and a teacher about the roots of this problem. It was an episode which really resonated with so many women who listen to this show and a dilemma we just had to revisit.
Mark Pagan has talked about his mixed attitudes to dating ambitious women on his own podcast Other Men Need Help. Mark finds ambitious women attractive but is also threatened by them, this being a dynamic which isn’t all that rare, and one we delve into more with him, trying to figure out the personal and wider social reasons behind this paradox.
Guest:
Mark Pagan, host of the podcast Other Men Need Help https://othermenneedhelp.com/
Host and producer:
Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-Far
Co-host:
Jonathan Freeman
Co-producers:
Sam Baker and Jonathan Blackwell
Related links:
The Gender Knot t-shirts are now available here
Other Men Need Help’s episode Manual Men https://othermenneedhelp.com/season-1/episode-4-manual-men
Other Men Need Help are looking for stories for their next season, get in touch at othermenneedhelp@gmail.com - they are looking for men partnered with significantly younger people, men who can talk about financial insecurities related to partners, men with significant others who are more sexually experiences, men who are bald/balding and men up for sharing something about their appearance they privately want to change or hide.
The Gender Knot podcast and Facebook Group
https://www.thegenderknot.com/
https://www.facebook.com/groups/182851532302085/
Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)

Esther Perel: What’s next for men Jun 12, 2018

Show notes

This is the century where men need to rethink their identities at home and at work, says world renowned therapist Esther Perel, and that things will only change for women once men do this. We hear about her experiences working with couples and the unique challenges men face when trying to navigate their inner lives, and she advises us on how men and women can better communicate with each other.
Guest:
Esther Perel, therapist, author of ‘Mating in Captivity’ and ‘The State of Affairs’, host of the podcast Where Should We Begin? https://www.estherperel.com/podcast
Host and producer:
Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-Far
Co-host:
Jonathan Freeman
Co-producers:
Sam Baker and Jonathan Blackwell
Sponsor:
The Economist
Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)
5 Pieces by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)

#MeToo comebacks? Jun 04, 2018

Show notes

Stephanie Butnick of the Unorthodox podcast and Tablet Magazine joins us to kick of season 3 where we ask if the men accused of sexual assault and harassment under the #MeToo movement can make comebacks.
Note: There are rumours that Charlie Rose may have a show where he interviews other accused men, that Mario Batali will be opening more restaurants and that Louis CK may be making a comeback, along with rumours about many others too. Is now the right time for a comeback, and should they even comeback at all?
Guest:
Stephanie Butnick, one of the hosts of the Unorthodox podcast and deputy editor of Tablet Magazine https://www.tabletmag.com/tag/unorthodox
Host and producer:
Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-Far
Co-host:
Jonathan Freeman
Co-producers:
Sam Baker and Jonathan Blackwell
Related links:
The Gender Knot podcast and Facebook Group
https://www.thegenderknot.com/
https://www.facebook.com/groups/182851532302085/
Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)

Flawed Male Heroes May 21, 2018

Show notes

Pulitzer Prize winning author Junot Diaz recently joined a line of men such as Louis CK and Aziz Ansari who had been looked to by some people as being allies to women, but who have recently been accused of sexual assault or harassment in the wake of the #MeToo movement.
These men have helped some men grapple with their own masculine identities and are people who have ‘gone there’ and have tried to attempt being better towards women, especially given it can be hard for men to talk about these issues with each other. But where can men turn when these heroes are also shown to be deeply flawed – and is flawed even the right word given the gravity of these allegations?
We’ll be back with Season 3 in June.
Guest:
Mark Pagan, host of the podcast Other Men Need Help https://othermenneedhelp.com/
Host and producer:
Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-Far
Co-host:
Jonathan Freeman
Co-producers:
Sam Baker and Jonathan Blackwell
Related links:
Junot Diaz: “The Silence, the legacy of childhood trauma” – published in the New Yorker on 9th April 2018 https://bit.ly/2HiRlEb
“In the darkness men leave behind the women and emerge in the light clean and free” – by Briana L Urena-Ravelo, published on 10th April 2018 https://bit.ly/2EI2deW
“Author Alisa Valdes on Junot Díaz: ‘He Mistreated Me, and I Was Severely Punished for It’” – by Amanda Arnold, published in The Cut on 6th May 2018 https://bit.ly/2tNUFB9
“We can’t protect Junot Diaz at all costs” – by Christine Emba, published in the Washington Post on 4th May 2018 https://wapo.st/2TeYoXw
Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)

Do men need nature to be better men? May 07, 2018

Show notes

A man going off on a solo expedition into the wilderness when he’s having a dilemma or a tough time or when he needs to make a difficult decision is a staple of so much literature, and especially of fiction aimed at boys. It also seems to be a thing in reality too.
Is this simply a form of romantic escapism or can it help men to solve their problems and to deal with difficult times? And do men actually need to spend time in nature to become better men? An outdoors-y Californian man helps us untangle this, with the help of some great essays too.
Note: We are on hiatus until June, when we’ll be returning with Season 3\. There will be another bonus episode of The Gender Knot again before then.
**Guest:** Seth Miller, founder of [Justice TVA](http://www.justicetva.com/)
**Related links:**
Farther Away: “Robinson Crusoe”, David Foster Wallace and the island of solitude - by Jonathan Franzen, New Yorker April 2011 https://bit.ly/2Hjqie7
Pond Scum: Henry David Thoreau’s moral myopia – by Kathryn Schulz, New Yorker October 2015 https://bit.ly/2vkJpgQ
The Miseducation of John Muir: A close examination of the wilderness icon’s early travels reveals a deep love for trees, and some ugly feelings about people – by Justin Nobel, Atlas Obscura July 2016 https://bit.ly/2XwG0YO
The Gender Knot podcast https://www.thegenderknot.com/ and Facebook group https://www.facebook.com/groups/182851532302085/?ref=br_rs
Host and producer: Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-Far
Co-host: Jonathan Freeman
Co-producers: Sam Baker and Jonathan Blackwell
Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)

Men and feelings: How to go there? Apr 15, 2018

Show notes

We’ve heard a lot about the dilemmas surrounding men and their feelings on this podcast: how boys are raised with little acknowledgement of their feelings or disallowed from expressing or exploring them, to the destructive impact this has when they grow up, be it through high rates of depression and suicide in men or potentially violent behaviour. And then there's the huge amounts of emotional labour that many women end up performing in many areas of life as a result.
Last time we tried to discuss this topic, the co-hosts had an argument! This time around, we’re joined by another podcast host to help us see what we can all do going forward: what are things we can all do to help men who want to explore their feelings, and how should we be having these conversations in the first place?
Note: we are on hiatus and will be back with a new series in June. We will have a few more mini-episodes coming up for you before then.
Host and producer: Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-Far
Co-host: Jonathan Freeman
Co-producers: Sam Baker and Jonathan Blackwell
Guest: Dan Carroll co-host of the podcast Fine and Dandy with Dan and Andy
Related links: The Gender Knot podcast https://www.thegenderknot.com/ and Facebook group https://www.facebook.com/groups/182851532302085/?ref=br_rs
Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)

How can men best help feminism? Mar 31, 2018

Show notes

We just made Time Magazine’s list of 50 best podcasts - http://time.com/5178078/best-podcasts-2018/ - and they recommended this episode from earlier in season 2, which is also one of our favorites, so we’re replaying it now.
We explore the best things men can do if they want to help feminism, and the things they should avoid. We also look to the push for racial equality to see what lessons can be learnt and applied to the movement for gender equality.
We are on hiatus and back with our next season in June, though we will have mini-episodes every few weeks, with the next one in a fortnight.
Note also: Nas will be taking part in a salon with the website and social network [Ideapod](http://ideapod.com/), discussing this topic Salon: [Why men need to spend more time with just men](https://ideapod.lpages.co/webinar-why-men-need-to-spend-more-time-with-just-men/). It takes place on Monday 2nd April, 11pm BST / 6 pm EST / 3 pm PST with Ideapod founder Justin Brown. Follow the link to join.
Host & producer: Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-Far
Co-host: Jonathan Freeman
Co-producers: Sam Baker and Jonathan Blackwell
Guests:
Jackson Katz, author and educator, TED talk on 'Violence against women - it's a men's issue' http://www.jacksonkatz.com/
Eugene Ellis, psychotherapist, director of The Black, African, Asian Therapy Network
Related links:
Jackson Katz’s Ted talk: ‘Violence against women, it’s a men’s issue’ https://bit.ly/1iXu34B
Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)

Why are we scared of ambitious women? Mar 26, 2018

Show notes

Ambitious women get held to tricky double standards; there’s the expectation that they should have the drive and vision of ambitious men but are also expected to ‘be nice’, to care take others and to not threaten men. And women are often harshly judged for many of the more negative downsides to ambition – such as being less considerate of others and demanding your worth – which are either seen as positives or neutral when done by men.
We’re living in an era when there is probably more acceptance of female ambition and championing of women’s potential than ever before. But still, why do we have these impossible double stands for ambitious women?
Note: this is the final episode of Season 2\. We will be back with Season 3 on 19th June 2018, and we will also be releasing a few mini-episodes before then.
Host and producer: Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-Far
Co-host: Jonathan Freeman
Co-producers: Sam Baker and Jonathan Blackwell
Guests: Sam Baker, co-producer
Alice, teacher
Related links:
‘Jill Abramson and the wholly sexist narrative of the woman in power’ by Emily Bell, The Guardian https://bit.ly/2Tb64dw
‘Jill Abramson loses the newsroom’ by Dylan Byers, Politico https://politi.co/2Ts8Iec
‘Good Jill, Bad Jill’ by Lloyd Grove, Newsweek https://bit.ly/RSz1Xt
The Gender Knot podcast and Facebook Group
https://www.thegenderknot.com/
https://www.facebook.com/groups/182851532302085/
Recommended podcast: A Therapist Walks Into a Bar https://www.atherapistwalksintoabar.com/
Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons) 5 Pieces by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)

Live Show: Can women break into Boys’ Clubs? Mar 19, 2018

Show notes

Former Apprentice contestant Michaela Wain and journalist Chris Hemmings help us figure out if women can break into boys clubs – those industries where men favour each other for jobs and create an atmosphere which makes it hard for women to get ahead.
Michaela runs several businesses in the construction industry, which is also very male, and her assertive drive and ability to crack on and get things done inspired many people during her stint on The Apprentice. Chris has written about macho culture and his experiences in the Rugby Club while at university in his book ‘Be a Man’. He reports on masculinity and how it’s changing and what needs to be done to create healthier male cultures.
Host and producer: Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-Far
Co-host: Jonathan Freeman
Guests: Michaela Wain, entrepreneur, contestant on The Apprentice https://twitter.com/Michaelawain1
Chris Hemmings, Journalist, author of ‘Be A Man’ https://twitter.com/hemmch
Live show sponsor: The Balvenie https://www.thebalvenie.com/ and Piper Heidsieck https://www.piper-heidsieck.com/
Co-producers: Sam Baker and Jonathan Blackwell
Business development: Cynara Vetch
Live show sound engineer: Richard Andrews
Live show venue: Ziferblat http://london.ziferblat.net/
Related links:
The Gender Knot podcast and Facebook Group
https://www.thegenderknot.com/
https://www.facebook.com/groups/182851532302085/
Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)

Homophobic gay men Mar 12, 2018

Show notes

James Barr, co-host of the hit LGBTQ+ podcast A Gay and a Non-Gay, posed this question to us and joins as a special co-host for this episode.
Gay men have been gaining more rights and visibility, and yet homophobia exists, both in and outside the community. Why are some gay men still homophobic despite the strides that have been made for acceptance, and exactly what forms does this type of homophobia take today?
Host and producer: Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-Far
Co-host: James Barr, co-host of the podcast A Gay and a Nongay https://shows.pippa.io/gay
Co-producers: Sam Baker and Jonathan Blackwell
Guests:
Matthew Todd, author of the book ‘Straight Jacket’ https://twitter.com/MrMatthewTodd
Matt Cain, editor of Attitude Magazine https://twitter.com/MattCainWriter
Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)
Related links:
The Gender Knot podcast and Facebook Group
https://www.thegenderknot.com/
https://www.facebook.com/groups/182851532302085/
Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)

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