The Gathering Room Podcast

Latest Episodes:

Managing Problem Relationships Apr 01, 2021

Show notes

Martha identifies as a codependent: someone who helps others even when helping is to her own detriment. Since many of Martha’s listeners have similar personalities, she shares a coping technique she formulated after reading Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss. People who don’t experience empathy, such as narcissists and psychopaths, are very hard for codependents to understand. Managing these relationships means acknowledging that empathy and reasoning are absent, and acting accordingly. (Originally aired: Mar. 28, 2021)

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Signs of New Life Mar 25, 2021

Show notes

This conversation took place right after the Spring Equinox, a time when day and night are equal in length. Martha points out that this is a time of transition and a reminder that life can be experienced cyclically if we so choose. She adds, though, that while we are experiencing spring again as part of a cycle, we are also experiencing this particular spring for the very first time. Perhaps it’s time to start an entirely new life, with fresh eyes and an open heart. (Originally aired: Mar. 21, 2021)

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The Safe Side of Fear Mar 18, 2021

Show notes

In an interview with Inspire Nation podcast host Michael Sandler, Martha explained that living with integrity WILL bring fear into your life. You’ll realize you’ve been betraying your authentic self to coddle people around you. We all do this because social pushback is frightening! Then Michael described the edge between destructive fear and fear we feel despite being safe. Martha offers an exercise to approach that edge safely. (Originally aired: Mar. 14, 2021)

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Using Your Creativity for Good Instead of Evil Mar 11, 2021

Show notes

After hearing Brene Brown declare that “unused creativity is not benign,” Martha and her family decided to hold a Creativity Day … but when Martha sat down to paint, she found it terrifying and overwhelming! This is because culture trains us to value activities done for money or to help others over activities that help us build meaningful and joyful lives for ourselves. Martha challenges us to push the edge of creativity, past any blocks, until we can feel the euphoric flow. (Originally aired: Mar. 7, 2021)

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Making a Fresh Start Feb 25, 2021

Show notes

We cannot force fresh starts. They come when they want to come, and they always begin inside of us. Martha describes the feeling of being “fed up” as crucial to catalyzing sweeping change, but also explains the concept of being “full fed.” A caterpillar cannot become a butterfly unless it is full fed, meaning plump enough to sustain its transformation. Fresh starts in our own lives must be similarly resourced or true metamorphosis simply cannot occur! (Originally aired: Feb. 21, 2021)

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The Problem with Overgiving Feb 18, 2021

Show notes

Although many of our cultural stories focus on generosity, selflessness, and giving MORE, Martha uses this episode to stress the importance of reserving resources for ourselves. She points out that when we overgive we may actually prevent people from learning and growing on their own. (And, of course, WE end up drained and exhausted.) Giving should feel joyful, and when it doesn’t, we can absolutely dial it back. (Originally aired: Feb. 14, 2021)

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Holding Boundaries Feb 11, 2021

Show notes

How do you cultivate vulnerability while maintaining healthy boundaries with others? Striking this balance is especially complicated if we keep ourselves emotionally wide-open or utterly closed-off at all times, tendencies that many sensitive people favor. When we’ve been repeatedly hurt by people or systems, it can be hard to know who and how to trust. Martha offers tactics and resources for connecting with others and sharing ourselves in healthy, safe ways. (Originally aired: Feb. 7, 2021)

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Staying Inspired Feb 04, 2021

Show notes

No matter where you are in the world, when you hit February you’re likely to hit the doldrums. Martha offers some ideas for keeping our inspiration stoked and burning during tough times and explains that there are many parallels between fire-tending and motivational maintenance. Both require fuel to burn (self-care), heat (energy from other people), and oxygen (truth and integrity). Listen in to find out more about this inspirational triad! (Originally aired: Jan. 31, 2021)

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Finding Relief Feb 03, 2021

Show notes

We have been socialized to believe that instant gratification is both possible and desirable. It’s neither, of course, and in this conversation Martha reminds us of that fact. She points out that we can do anything one step at a time, including achieving enlightenment! Each step we take toward relief and away from suffering moves us toward the bliss of being. She shares an exercise to help us detach from worry and empower relief in our everyday lives. (Originally aired: Jan. 24, 2021)

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Living the Mystery Jan 30, 2021

Show notes

As world events continue to dish up unrest and upheaval, many people feel more easily triggered than usual. Since there’s so much potential for misunderstanding, Martha suggests we speak every word from the truest truths we possess. That way, if someone is triggered, we won’t react explosively. She also shares the “spot, stop, swap” strategy from Jay Shetty’s book Think Like a Monk as a way to ensure we’re living from our own truth and mystery at all times. (Originally aired: Jan. 17, 2021)

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