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The Fifth Column — News
The Fifth Column

Your weekly rhetorical assault on the on the news cycle, the people who make it, and occasionally ourselves. Kmele Foster (Freethink), Michael Moynihan (Vice), and Matt Welch (Reason) talk and laugh and drink their way to at least quasi-sanity in a world gone mad, often with the aid of clean and articulate guests. Weekly Members Only subscription edition often comes with listener mail and professional-quality (if inappropriate) singing. Analysis. Commentary. Sedition.

www.wethefifth.com

Copyright: © The Fifth Column

Latest Episodes:

#491 - The Last Globalist Feb 21, 2025

Show notes

* Matt vs. the Gremlins

* He lasts about 20 minutes

* Subscribe to the pod so he can stay at normal hotels that don’t use Compuserve

* Two minutes of Kayne and the Yahud

* Everything is a lie

* Free speech king goes Russiagate

* Trump’s Ukraine disgrace

* Allies and Axis 2.0

* Here DOGEy DOGEy DOGEy

* Misunderstanding democracy

* The animals of Hamas

* Inhumanity makes one inarticulate

* 😡🐰🥚

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe

Members Only #248 - Marvin, Mugshots, and Migrants Feb 17, 2025

Show notes

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com

* If this plane crashes, it’ll just be ‘Steve Wozniak, Allen Iverson, and some other people’

* Murder motel in Huntington Beach

* Marvin Gaye's confession

* A shot, a beer, and Paddington 3

* Brexit, bananas, and robber outfits

* Not their best. But sort of.

* The New York Times’s dumb report from Europe

* Does Vance have a point?

* Ukraine negotiations without Ukraine

* A bunch m…

#490 - Among the Bullshitters Feb 16, 2025

Show notes

So we took a few days off. We deserved it. Sort of. And after all, there were pilots to filmed, kids to be cared for, conferences to attend. Indeed, on Friday we gave a talk at a wonderful University of Florida conference on America’s love of bullshit. But we begged off from the proceedings for an hour to record an episode. Because we love you guys. And because we needed to discuss Pete Hegseth, beer bongs and Goldschlager luges, Elon’s weird kids, the future of DOGE, the future of Ukraine, Islamism, and Serena Williams. And a few other things besides…

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe

#489 - Neocon Don and Sandals Gaza Feb 06, 2025

Show notes

* The hockey plumber

* A very brief return to tariffs

* Let’s fight the drug war again! Yay!

* Neocon Don wants to make Gaza great…for the first time

* This is a very, very bad idea

* Like…an extraordinarily bad idea

* The 80-20 issue

* Lia’s standup special

* 60 Minutes in the docket

* “Restoring freedom of speech”

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe

Members Only #247 - The Dumbest War Begins Feb 03, 2025

Show notes

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com

We asked ChatGPT to give us some titles for this episode. Turned out to be a pretty decent précis of the discussion…and the last one is particularly good:

"Tariffs, TikTok, and Toe-Kneading Terror"

"Mary Poppins: Feminist Propaganda & Economic Illiteracy"

"Avocados vs. American Fish: The Dumbest Trade Debate Ever"

"Trump’s Tariff Tantrum: The Art of the Du…

#488 - By Order of the MAGAstate Feb 01, 2025

Show notes

* First class mud hobbit

* At the 80th in Poland

* An executive flurry

* The interrogation of RFK

* In defense of pharma

* The interrogation of Kash Patel

* Give us Greenland, Part 32

* Overreach on DEI?

* Frozen budgets

* Getting the win

* Is *this* the art of the deal?

* Why were the JFK/RFK/MLK files held back?

* And what will we find therein…

* The most annoying Kennedy

* Trusting Deepseek

* Has the press learned its lesson?

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe

Members Only #246 - Premature Denazification Jan 27, 2025

Show notes

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com

* Moynihan in Poland (Katya stole his mic)

* Ronalda Reagana

* Know a Nowa Huta

* Onward to Auschwitz

* Maybe don’t speak to the far-right German party?

* Axis of anti-Woke

* Unimpressed with nation-states

* The Best Black History Month Report, EVER

* Lia vs. MLK Part II

* Rufo’s Sore "Winning"

* Activism vs. Truth

* Our “Blind spot”

* Yellow/Blue Dress Explained

* YOUR Outrage (Not Mine)

* Ove…

#487 - A Symphony of Horror Jan 23, 2025

Show notes

* The Zombies reunion

* Edibles and expressionism

* A ghost on the knee

* Who needs a desk when democracy’s dead?

* Outage equality

* Don’t ever integrate?

* Segregation redux

* Why Steve hates Elon

* Those terrible oligarchs

* Who needs the Constitution when we have executive orders?

* The Jan 6 pardons: a disagreement

* The art of the overcharge

* Ross Ulbricht goes home

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe

Members Only #245 - Everything Old Is New Again Jan 21, 2025

Show notes

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com

* The sycophants are back!

* Are we suckers for paying?

* Gauleiter Musk

* Day one executive orders

* The newest, greatest Amazon Prime perk

* New national bird: Jim Eagle

* Pardon me?

* Guess what? Leonard Peltier is not a good guy!

* That Outside magazine article

* Inauguration babes

* Kmele’s letter to his daughter’s school

* Not our oligarchs!

* Ari Shaffir vs. Howie Mandel

* Governme…

#486 - A Deal with the Devil, MelaniaCoin, Danny has AIDS Jan 17, 2025

Show notes

* Melanie: the eternal First Lady

* A bad deal but…the only deal

* The same situation, over and over

* Joey B’s final babble

* Ike, Elon, and the unacceptable “oligarchy”

* The Ralph Lifshitz Award for Cultural Betrayal

* F**k You, Surgeon General, says Matt Welch

* The shittiest NYT story in recent memory

* A shitty celebration of murder on Jimmy Kimmel

* Pete H on the Hill

* Women in combat is not a weird debate

* RIP David Lynch

* RIP Bob Uecker

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe

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