Show notes
In this episode, I dive deep into a conversation with Jamie Haigh and Blake Roberts, two accomplished marriage and family therapists who focus their practice on supporting men through various challenges, including the often-taboo subjects of sexual addiction and spiritual abuse.
As we explore the intricacies of their journeys, I quickly discover that our discussion takes a significant and meaningful turn, navigating through both the personal and systemic issues at play in the conversations around mental health for men.
We discuss the tremendous pressure society places on men to conform to certain ideals of masculinity, which often leads to a culture of silence regarding their struggles. Jamie and Blake share their own experiences with addiction, revealing how societal expectations and internal battling around issues like pornography and spiritual trauma can lead to feelings of guilt, shame, and isolation. Their insights are not only relevant for men grappling with similar issues but also resonate with anyone who loves someone facing these challenges.
Jamie and Blake's stories resonate painfully with such experiences, providing a perspective that highlights the importance of addressing underlying emotional wounds in order to break free from the cycles of addiction and despair.
The conversation naturally shifts toward spiritual abuse, a theme that both Jamie and Blake have grappled with in their pasts. They each recount events where trusted figures in their spiritual communities caused significant harm, leading them to navigate and redefine their faith journey. Blake's reflection on emotional dissonance within his church involvement and Jamie's account of prolonged abuse from a youth leader reveal the complex interplay between faith and personal trauma.
As we go deeper, they introduce their initiative, 3% Company, designed to foster a supportive community where men can discuss their struggles candidly, something they refer to as the "3%" of issues often left unspoken.
They believe that breaking down the barriers surrounding these conversations is integral to fostering genuine healing and understanding. Their approach is particularly impactful, as they create safe spaces not just for men but for anyone seeking deeper connections with themselves and those around them.
We also discuss critical points about recognizing the pain associated with addiction, as emphasized by Dr. Gabor Maté's framework, focusing not on the addiction itself but on understanding the underlying pain that drives individuals to these behaviors. This shift in perspective can open doors to healing, allowing individuals to explore their coping mechanisms on a deeper level rather than merely treating the symptoms.
Overall, our conversation paints a vivid picture of hope amidst struggles. Jamie and Blake exemplify how confronting one’s past and indeed the uncomfortable aspects of masculinity can lead to profound transformation. Their work through 3% Company stands as a testament to that potential.
In future conversations, we aim to delve deeper into how individuals can find resources to help navigate these challenges, as well as expand on the importance of community in the recovery process. For those interested, Jamie and Blake have created a platform to foster support and provide resources through their podcast and online community at 3% Company, where listeners can find companionship and encouragement along their journeys to healing.
Click here for the transcript
Resources and Links
Three Percent Company website
Three Percent on Substack
Blake's powerful Substack
Jamie and Blake on But Jesus Drank Wine
My book, 2021 ECPA Memoir/Biography of the Year, I've Seen the End of You
Be sure to check out my latest book, Hope Is the First Dose!
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