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    Education

    The Daily Dad

    The audio companion to DailyDad.com’s daily email meditations on fatherhood, read by Ryan Holiday. Each daily reading will help you find the wisdom, inner strength, and good humor you need in order to be a great dad. Learn from historical figures and contemporary fathers how to do your most important job. Find more at dailydad.com.

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    Copyright: © 2024 The Daily Dad

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    Latest Episodes:
    You Can Be A Parent Anywhere Feb 16, 2024
    Show notes

    When we think teacher, we think classroom. When we think leader, we think the corner office or the lectern or a general in front of their troops. But the truth is that a teacher can do their job anywhere and in many forms, just as a leader can.

    Plutarch would say of Socrates that he “did not set up desks for his students, sit in a teacher’s chair, or reserve a prearranged time for lecturing and walking with his pupils. No, he practiced philosophy while joking around (when the chance arose) and drinking and serving on military campaigns and hanging around the marketplace with some of his students, and finally, even while under arrest and drinking the hemlock. He was the first to demonstrate that our lives are open to philosophy at all times and in every aspect, while experiencing every emotion, and in each and every activity.”

    As with teaching and with leadership and with philosophy, so too with parenting. You can be a parent anywhere. It’s not just on fishing trips or at family dinners. It’s not just about carrying them around in a baby bjorn or going to back-to-school night. It’s not about punishments or incentives, or rules or life lessons, though of course it’s also about all these things too.

    Remember what we’ve talked about with quality time vs. garbage time? It may just be that the most impact you’ll have as a dad will come while joking around, it may come on a walk, it may come with how you do your job (and show them your work), it may come on a family vacation or it may come while you’re watching TV and make some passing comment that lands in exactly the right way. It may come—god forbid—on your deathbed, as you depart from this life with courage and compassion, showing them that they don’t need to be afraid, that you love them and that they’ll be okay without you.
    ✉️ Sign up for the Daily Dad email: DailyDad.com

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    They Don’t Want This Feb 15, 2024
    Show notes

    Bruce Springsteen’s childhood was a strange one. His mother worked to support their family. His father was distant and harsh. He spent a lot of time with his grandparents, who spoiled him, in part because they were grieving the loss of their own daughter years earlier.

    “His Majesty, the Baby,” is how his childhood is described in the fascinating book Deliver Me From Nowhere (incredible book, by the way). Springsteen would admit that this kind of attention and celebration “seems to a kid like a great thing, but it’s exactly what a kid doesn’t want. Very problematic, it caused me a lot of trouble. To this day. It destroyed me and it made me. At the same time.”

    As we said before, nobody likes a spoiled child…especially the spoiled children. It warps their sense of reality. It makes them both entitled and strips them of pleasure—because they come to take it for granted. The attention ceases to have meaning because it feels like a birthright. It suffocates and isolates. They are deprived of skills they need, confidence and character they need.
    ✉️ Sign up for the Daily Dad email: DailyDad.com

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    Your Calendar Doesn’t Lie Feb 14, 2024
    Show notes

    Marcus even wrote a testament to his love for his wife and their life together in a letter to his tutor Fronto. “I call the gods to witness,” he wrote, “that I would I were now living in exile with [Faustina] rather than without her on the Palatine.” Sure, the palaces were nice and so was power. He had an important job. But none of it was better than spending time with his lovely partner.

    It’s a wonderful sentiment, but is it true? Marcus Aurelius spent years away from Rome, fighting wars, visiting the provinces. He spent time in Greece, as all students of philosophy considered a must. He had cases to adjudicate, dignitaries to receive, things to write. No doubt he spent a lot of time reading, a lot of time training, a lot of time committed to serving the people of Rome.
    It means putting the time on our calendar, scheduling play time, and sticking to it. Because you may be able to deceive yourself, but at the end of the day, your calendar doesn’t lie.

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    It’s Not Easy To Be Your Kid Feb 13, 2024
    Show notes

    It’s not easy for lots of reasons. Gay Talese, who knew the Didion family (who we’ve been talking about a lot recently), speculates in Evelyn McDonnell’s biography of Joan Didion (signed copies here) what it must have been like to be Quintana Roo, their adopted daughter.
    ✉️ Sign up for the Daily Dad email: DailyDad.com

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    The Compass That Guides Us Feb 12, 2024
    Show notes

    These are the Cardinal Virtues, which Zeno laid down in the 3rd Century B.C. as:

    Courage

    Discipline

    Justice

    Wisdom

    We need these virtues and we need to teach these virtues to our children. Their life…and the future hinges on it. So memorize these four virtues. Act on them. Live them. Parent by them. And keep them close to your heart always.

    If you want to carry the Four Virtues around like a compass,, over at Daily Stoic, we created the Four Virtues Medallion.

    INSERT 4V MEDALLION PIC

    The front of the Four Virtues Medallion features a custom-designed seal with four elements representing the Four Virtues: a lion (Courage), a man sprinkling water into a jug of wine (Temperance), a set of scales (Justice), and an owl (Wisdom). On the back is an admonition not to exchange the Four Virtues for others—for there is no other set of virtues that will serve you better than these.

    As with all our other coins, the Four Virtues Medallion is handcrafted in the United States by a custom mint operating in Minnesota since 1882. Each coin is shipped with an accompanying information card, explaining the Four Virtues to its fortunate recipient. Each coin has a unique finish and character.

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    Ryan Holiday And Casey Neistat On The Purpose Of Parenthood (Daily Dad Book Tour Pt 1) Feb 10, 2024
    Show notes

    While on tour for his new book The Daily Dad: 366 Meditations on Parenting, Love, and Raising Great Kids, Ryan met up with his longtime friend and occasional running partner Casey Neistat for a live interview at Barnes & Noble in Union Square during which they shared the story of how they met, reflections and wisdom they have gleaned from their journeys through parenthood, the work and life habits that have led to their success, their advice for new parents, and more.

    Casey Neistat is a YouTube personality, filmmaker, vlogger, the co-founder of the multimedia company Beme, and the founder of the creative and collaborative space for creators 368. His main body of work consists of dozens of short films he has released exclusively on the Internet, including regular contributions to the New York Times critically acclaimed Op-Doc series. His online films and videos have been viewed over three billion times. You can find his work on his website www.caseyneistat.com and on his social media channels: YouTube: CaseyNeistat, IG: @caseyneistat, Twitter: @Casey.
    ✉️ Sign up for the Daily Dad email: DailyDad.com

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    Aren’t You A Little Old For That? Feb 09, 2024
    Show notes

    “This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/dailydad and get on your way to being your best self.”

    When our kids mess up we say: Aren’t you a little old for that? And we have all sorts of rules of thumb for what things are age appropriate or not—what age they should stop having accidents, what age they should stop throwing a tantrum just because they’re tired, what age it stops being okay for other people to have to pick up after them.
    “We ought not willingly add to old age, which has many of its own problems, the shame of misbehaviors.” That’s Cato the Elder, who seems to have really lived up to that second part of his name. You’re too old to act out. And even if you weren’t, remember your kids are always watching—a little fellow follows you—so act like the adult that they believe you are.

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    It Should Be Part Of Who You Are Feb 08, 2024
    Show notes

    There’s an interesting passage in Evelyn McDonnell’s fascinating biography of Joan Didion (who we have written about many times and we also just had Evelyn on the Daily Stoic podcast), that points out another about the difference between how the public saw Didion and her husband John Gregory Dunne, also a great and successful writer. One was clearly identified as a parent and the other was not, even though Dunne actually wrote a whole book about the topic! As we’ve said before, by talking about the joys and the struggles of parenting you are helping other parents. You are putting things out in the open.
    ✉️ Sign up for the Daily Dad email: DailyDad.com

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    Do It While You Can Feb 07, 2024
    Show notes

    We all feel a little self-conscious about it. Our kids don’t behave as well as we’d like. They make a mess. They make an incredible amount of noise. Perhaps this is why we keep them at home, why we’re always apologizing, preparing people in advance for the hurricane that may or may not come through. Maybe some of us fear being overshadowed by our kids or judged for having them with us—that it will undermine our image as professionals.
    Don’t apologize. Do your best to clean up, to teach them how to behave, but bring the brats with you. You won’t regret it in the long run…even if on occasion you do.
    ✉️ Sign up for the Daily Dad email: DailyDad.com

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    You’ve Done Your Job Feb 06, 2024
    Show notes

    “This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/dailydad and get on your way to being your best self.”

    The great John Wooden would practice his team hard through the week. He’d run through the plans over and over and over again. Yet as they left the locker room and headed out onto the court for the game, he would say to the team, “Well, I’ve done my job.” He wasn’t going to be micromanaging them from the sideline. It was their turn to do their job.

    And so it goes for us as parents. At some point, we have to leave them at the entrance to the school. At their job. With their own finances. With their own children. We can’t solve every problem. We can’t prevent everything from going wrong. That’s their job.

    Jessica Lahey’s wonderful book The Gift of Failure (pick it up at The Painted Porch) reminds us that by not giving them this chance, by not letting them try and struggle to do their job, we’re actually harming them. We’re setting them up for more failure down the road…and less ability to deal with it.
    Giving children the space to struggle because we believe in them, because we believe even more in what will come out the other side, isn’t always easy—for us or them. That’s why one side of our Luctor et Emergo medallion features the mantra, “good, not easy,” surrounded by three other reminders we parents need each day: “let them struggle,” “show them support,” “help them grow.” Get one to carry around with you at the Daily Dad Store today!
    ✉️ Sign up for the Daily Dad email: DailyDad.com

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