The Covert Narcissism Podcast

Latest Episodes:

When Friends and Family don't Understand Covert Narcissism Jul 04, 2024

Show notes

When friends and family members don't understand the abuse we are enduring from covert narcissism, this adds to the pain and confusion we are already experiencing. Their dismissiveness of the abusive behavior only compounds our frustration. They often dismiss it, not to add to our pain, but in an attempt to keep the peace and move on. When our loved ones see the small glimpses of abusive behavior, they conclude that these are isolated events and suggest that we treat them as such. However, we know that these are a continuous pattern of toxic behaviors. These single events trigger an entire bucket of memories, as well as a flood of anticipated repeated behaviors.
In this episode, Renee Swanson and Eleanor Marks discuss the effects of the dismissive attitudes of our loved ones. In this discussion, they explore the things we wish that our loved ones could understand about what we are experiencing. Grasping the whole picture is hard enough for the victim who is living with the covert narcissist. It is nearly impossible for those on the outside. Keep digging into the research and exploring the concepts of covert narcissism.

I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.

Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone?
Are you searching for people who get it?
Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do?
Are you running in circles in your mind?
Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them?
Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world?

I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com

Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse

http://www.covertnarcissism.com

https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism

#covertnarcissism #abuse #gaslighting #narcissism #narcissist #podcast

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Covert Narcissism and a Diagnosis Jun 30, 2024

Show notes

I sure don't need a diagnosis to know what I've been through. When I first read the words about covert narcissism, I immediately knew that I had found an answer to what was going on. The words resonated SO deeply in my heart that it was both painful and freeing. When the words line up, you just know it. When you read or hear something that describes exactly what you have been living through, you recognize it for what it is. Instantly. The words simply connect with something deep inside you.

In fact, when you read it or hear it, you feel as though this is something you have always known. Well, that’s because you have. You just have not yet had the words to describe it and talk about it. I didn't need to ponder them. I already had been for years. I didn't need examples. I had already had plenty. But I did need the validation! I did need the language to describe what I already knew. For more on the topic of diagnosing a narcissist, don't miss Dr. Ramani's excellent video. I talk about it in my podcast, and here is the link to watch it. Say THIS to people who tell you not to "diagnose" narcissists

I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.

Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone?
Are you searching for people who get it?
Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do?
Are you running in circles in your mind?
Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them?
Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world?

I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com

Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse

http://www.covertnarcissism.com

https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

With Covert Narcissism, I Am NOT Okay. Jun 27, 2024

Show notes

Listening to some music the other day, a song came on that really spoke to me. It was by Jelly Roll and titled “I Am Not Okay.” I can’t speak for Jelly Roll, but as a victim of covert narcissism, these lyrics could not have been more fitting.

I am not okay

I'm barely getting by

I'm losing track of days

I'm losing sleep at night

I am not okay

I'm hanging on the rails

So if I say I'm fine just know I learned to hide it well.

I know I can't be the only one who's holding on for dear life

But I know God knows when it's all said and done

I'm not okay, but it's all gonna be alright

It's not okay, but we're all gonna be alright.

I woke up today

I almost stayed in bed

I had the devil on my back voices in my head

Some days it all ain't bad

Some days it all gets worse

Some days I swear I'm better off laying in the dirt.

~ Song lyrics from "I Am Not Okay," by Jelly Roll

In this episode of the Covert Narcissism Podcast, host Renee Swanson delivers a powerful message inspired by the song lyrics of Jelly Roll's new hit single "I Am Not Okay." Renee reflects on her past of being married to a covert narcissist while allowing the song lyrics to help her explain and reflect on her past.

I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.

Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone?
Are you searching for people who get it?
Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do?
Are you running in circles in your mind?
Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them?
Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world?

I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com

Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse

http://www.covertnarcissism.com

https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Apologies from a Covert Narcissist Jun 23, 2024

Show notes

If you ever want a covert narcissist to talk about you, point out something they have done that upset you. See how their language changes. They live a very me-focused life. Until you come to that moment in the conversation where an apology from them should be. Then their script changes, and they become very you-focused. "You made me mad. You hurt my feelings. You told me to help you." As soon as you take their bait and start defending yourself, then the language switches back to their me-focused attitude. "I can't believe you would treat me that way. I am so upset. No one has ever treated me this way before." This flip of the switch is an extremely passive aggressive way to hide the psychological and emotional abuse that you are enduring. It is so subtle that victims often don't even see it.

I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.

Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone?
Are you searching for people who get it?
Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do?
Are you running in circles in your mind?
Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them?
Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world?

I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com

Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse

http://www.covertnarcissism.com

https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism

#covertnarcissism #abuse #gaslighting #narcissism #narcissist #podcast

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

This Was Never About You (Special Throwback Episode) Jun 20, 2024

Show notes

THIS WAS NEVER ABOUT YOU!!
•The way they talk to you
•The way they treat you
•The reactions they have
•The looks
•The silent treatment
•The circular conversations from
•The abuse
•All of it
It was never about you. You need to know that. You need to hear what I am saying.
If you want to find healing inside of you, this is so vitally important. This experience you have been through, the pain, the anguish, the anxiety, none of it had anything to do with you.
I’m Renee Swanson, creator of the Covert Narcissism Podcast. You need to hear what I am saying today!

I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.

Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone?
Are you searching for people who get it?
Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do?
Are you running in circles in your mind?
Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them?
Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world?

I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com

Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse

http://www.covertnarcissism.com

https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism

#covertnarcissism #abuse #gaslighting #narcissism #podcast

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Healing from Covert Narcissistic Abuse Jun 16, 2024

Show notes

Time doesn't heal all wounds, effort does. You can't lay around and wait for a broken leg to heal. It takes doctor visits and physical therapy visits. If you just wait for time to heal it, you will face residual pain and issues for the rest of your life. Negative feelings are normal along the way, such as regret, frustration, self-judgment, despair, impatience and caution. An abused and beaten heart is no different. Time won't heal it. It takes effort, purposeful healing and work. Get on the journey of healing and start taking one step at a time.

I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.

Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone?
Are you searching for people who get it?
Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do?
Are you running in circles in your mind?
Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them?
Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world?

I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com

Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse

http://www.covertnarcissism.com

https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism

#covertnarcissism #abuse #gaslighting #narcissism #podcast

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Self-Care After Dealing with Covert Narcissism Jun 13, 2024

Show notes

When you’ve been living with a covert narcissist for many years, your self-care is almost non-existent. You don’t have the time, energy, mental capacity, or freedom to take care of yourself. Any efforts at self-care may have been labeled as selfish. Over the years, you've paid a high price for trying to even do the bare minimum of caring for yourself. It just isn't worth the price. Robbing you of the right to care for yourself is abuse! No one should ever have the right to take that away from you. Self-care is a beautiful part of life. In this episode, Eleanor Marks and Renee Swanson explore ways to reclaim that self-care. Tiny steps forward are momentous. Celebrate these.

I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.

Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone?
Are you searching for people who get it?
Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do?
Are you running in circles in your mind?
Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them?
Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world?

I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com

Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse

http://www.covertnarcissism.com

https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism

#covertnarcissism #abuse #gaslighting #narcissism #podcast

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

What Covert Narcissists Say and What They Actually Mean Jun 09, 2024

Show notes

"I love you" does not mean the same thing coming out of a covert narcissist as it does when you say it. For non-narcissistic people, "I love you" means I care about your thoughts and feelings. I love when you are happy, peaceful and relaxed. I want what is best for you. I care about you.
For a covert narcissist, "I love you" is not quite the same. For them, it means I love how YOU make ME feel. I love what you do for ME. I love the attention that you give ME. I love it when you are happy with ME. I care about your thoughts and feelings about ME. I want what is best for you, and it is 100 percent ME.
When talking with a covert narcissist, they are absolutely using a different language than we are.

I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.

Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone?
Are you searching for people who get it?
Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do?
Are you running in circles in your mind?
Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them?
Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world?

I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com

Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse

http://www.covertnarcissism.com

https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism

#covertnarcissism #abuse #gaslighting #narcissism #podcast

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

What is Cognitive Dissonance and What to do About it (Special Throwback Episode) Jun 06, 2024

Show notes

Survivors of covert narcissistic abuse feel like they are going crazy. They often tell me that they are losing their mind. They don’t know which end is up, what reality is or what to do next. They are often frozen in self-doubt and confusion.

This is because of cognitive dissonance. In this episode, I am going to help you understand what cognitive dissonance is, why it happens, and what to do about it.

Cognitive dissonance is when a single individual holds conflicting attitudes or beliefs within themselves. This goes hand in hand with living with a covert narcissist. It creates that fog that you hear so many talk about. Coming out of the fog is coming out of the cognitive dissonance.

You have forgotten what life is supposed to feel like. You have forgotten how to relax and enjoy the beauty of life. You have forgotten what it feels like to be you! It is time to remind yourself!!

I wish you much peace on your journey of healing!

I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.

Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone?
Are you searching for people who get it?
Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do?
Are you running in circles in your mind?
Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them?
Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world?

I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com

Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse

http://www.covertnarcissism.com

https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Covert Narcissism: His Trauma Became Our Trauma Jun 02, 2024

Show notes

Trauma causes people to make changes in the way they interact with their world. Emotional abuse is traumatic. It takes away one's perception of safety. When we experience trauma, our system will work hard to re-establish a perceived sense of safety. Thus we pick up survival skills that can become walls between us and others. What behaviors do we pick up in response to covert narcissistic abuse? What about our kids? What traits are they picking up?

It is so crucial to do some trauma healing, for yourself and then learn to help your children. I have recently become certified in trauma coaching. I do offer individual trauma-informed coaching. It’s time to help our kids while they are still young. I will be focusing more on this in my podcast. Visit my website at http://www.covertnarcissism.com It’s time to break these cycles. I wish you so much peace on your journey of healing.

I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.