THE COUPLES TOOLBOX: Strategies For Strengthening (And Saving!) Your Relationship is hosted by Dr. Anne Goshen, a licensed psychotherapist who specializes in helping couples get and keep their relationships on track.
Here's the Latest Episode from THE COUPLES TOOLBOX | Relationships | Marriage | Gottman Method | Therapy | Family | Counseling:
Live presentation by Dr. Anne Goshen
Perhaps stress is not the enemy in your life. We can transform our relationship with stress, and thereby change the effect it has on our body and on our well being. This episode will help you shift your paradigm surrounding stress and how it can enhance your personal growth.
- Stress manifests itself in our bodies - it's obvious when you are stressed
- It takes about 90 seconds for your body to return to normal after as stress trigger
- The physiological effects of stress
- The 3 pillars of managing stress
- Additional ways to manage stress and adversity
- How can change your bodies response to stress
- Why you should embrace your inner stress
3 Pillars of Managing Stress:
- Develop stress resilience
- Reduce stress in your life
- Engage areas where you have power
Do you struggle to keep your home tidy and free of clutter? Or do you have a problem with your partner's messy habits and experience conflict in your relationship as a result? If so, listen in to Anne Goshen talking to Mel Robertson, and learn how you can create an orderly and peaceful home, by working from the inside out, on today's episode of The Couples Toolbox.
Mel, an official decluttering expert, describes herself as a disorganized packrat, while growing up. She attributes this to the many traumas she experienced as a child- her parents getting divorced, sexual abuse and losing her brother to suicide when she was only fifteen. Later, as she worked on healing the pain and trauma from her past, she discovered that she began creating order in her external life, as a natural result of the inner healing. She developed an interest in energy healing and helping others, and so she studied various energy healing modalities to enable her to share the clarity, clear space and joy that she had found. She started a company to help people see that the clutter stems from within. She helps people to address clutter on all levels.
Join Anne today, as she talks to Mel about:
- The effects that clutter and decluttering have on a relationship.
- How you can deal with your partner's clutter in a respectful way, with understanding.
- The challenges that can arise in a relationship when one partner doesn't understand that the clutter of the other cannot permanently be discarded without doing the inner work.
- That you cannot successfully control anyone else, nor make someone else sort out their stuff.
- The stress that can be caused in a relationship when one person creates clutter and the other is neat and tidy.
- How to have compassion, yet honor your own needs, when dealing with a messy partner.
- The presence and conscientiousness that is required to pick up after yourself as you go through the day.
- Our nervous systems, which are naturally designed to create order out of chaos.
- Ways to address clutter in the home when one partner is messy and the other is organized.
- Realizing that a messy external life is a reflection of inner turmoil and so to address what's really going on inside, to create a permanently clear space.
- How your happiness can affect the amount of clutter in your home.
- Mel's own journey from trauma to healing and how it naturally brought order into her life.
- That no matter what happens in life, you can still be happy and access that inner place where peace beyond words exists inside of you.
- Three tips for anyone resolving to clear and declutter their space for the new year.
Mel's website: www.declutteringspaces.com (You can access her 'any space blueprint' free here.)
Mel's phone number: 6196023725
Special offer: Go to www.declutteringspaces.com and mention that you listened to Mel's interview on The Couples Toolbox, to qualify for a three-hour session with Mel, for only $99.
Jackie Flynn is trained in the Gottman method of therapy and she also the host of Parenting in the Rain podcast. The Gottman Method Couples Therapy is a psycho-educational method of therapy for couples, developed by Dr. John Gottman and Julie Gottman, to help couples: Increase respect, affection, and closeness. Break through and resolve conflict when they feel stuck. Generate greater understanding between partners. Jackie is a registered Play Therapist, a licensed Psychotherapist, a Marriage Counselor (Gottman Level 3-Trained), a Certified Hypnotherapist, an Education Specialist, an EMDR Therapist, a Certified School Counselor, a Certified Educator (Pre-K-12), and a Certified Adolescent Life Coach.
- Benefits of the Gottman Therapy Method for couples
- Commonalities between child therapy and Gottman therapy method
- The Gottman relationship theory applies for all kinds of relationships
- Getting back on track and conflict management for parents and children
- Managing conflict between couples
- Examples of conflict situations in couples and families
- Connectivity issues among families
- Pushing the emotional button in an individual
- Importance of parents helping children learn
- Helping pre-school children to calm down.
- Being the “thermostat” rather than a “thermometer”
- More therapy tips
Connect with Jackie:
Welcome to the Couple’s Toolbox. Today we’re talking about a difficult topic. Remarriage after the death of a spouse. It’s not an easy thing to move on after you’ve lost a spouse. Today I have a special guest, Dr. Grant Mayne. Dr. Mayne is a Veterinarian and he also happens to be my husband. He’s had personal experience in re-marrying as a widower.
Dr. Mayne was married at 26 years old, and had 2 children. His wife contracted cancer later and died after battling the disease for 3 years. She was only 53 years old.
Steps to take when moving on after the death of a spouse:
- Before moving on, be sure you have fully grieved your spouse.
- Talk to your children about the fact you will be dating and explain it isn’t replacing the parent.
- Identify the needs and values you have at this stage in your life.
In the first year after the death of a spouse, more than 50% of men began dating again. Only 7% of women did the same.
Within 2 years of the death of a spouse, 61% of men have a steady primary love relationship and 25% have remarried.
Dr. Mayne shares some insights into his first years of remarriage, as well as the adjustments that he and his children had to make. He also shares the changes he encountered in becoming a blended family.
Getting the Love You Want Workshop
Happily Even After
Dr. Trish Stanley is the director for The Center for Couples Therapy in San Deigo. She’s a Gottman Certified Couples Therapist. Spent the last 15 years focusing specifically on couples.
The Gottman approach works well because couples therapy is not as appealing to men, but men can relate to the Gottman method.
- 5 positive interactions are needed to offset each negative
- What matters most in therapy is how soon and how thoroughly you can repair your relationship
- Repair matters far more than the conflict
The Art & Science of Love Workshop:
- It’s held at a beautiful location
- The format is partly video, role play, and exercises
- Each couple gets a kit of all the things they need for the workshop
- There are several sessions each day
- The second day focuses on conflict, how to repair it, when to repair it, etc.
- Additional therapists are on hand for support
- The work is individual, but within the couple
- Couples at all points in their couple-hood can benefit from the workshop
***This workshop is the equivalent of 6 months of couples therapy***
Sign up for the workshop:
www.thecenterforcouplestherapy.com - click on the Art & Science of Love image
Call The Center for Couples Therapy - 858-455-5557 x 2
Call Trish directly - 858-775-9388
There are no guarantees with any relationship. However, we have lots of data from successful relationships that can point us to some commonalities. By taking these characteristics and applying them to any relationship, we can show that almost any relationship can be successful.
So today, we are talking about the Seven Ingredients For Successful Relationships. In short the 7 ingredients are:
1. Building love maps - knowing each other’s world
2. Sharing fondness and admiration of each other
3. Turning towards each other, not away
4. Taking a positive perspective in life
5. Managing conflict - we will always have conflict, but it’s how we manage it that matters
6. Making life dreams come true
7. Creating shared meaning together
Listen to the episode find out how to implement each of these ingredients in the recipe for a successful relationship.