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    The Couples Therapist Couch

    This podcast is about the practice of Couples Therapy. Many of the episodes are interviews with leaders in the field of Relationships. The show is meant to help Therapists and Coaches learn how to help people to deepen their connection, but in the process it explores what is most needed for each of us to love, heal, and grow. Each week Shane Birkel interviews an expert in the field of Couples Therapy to explore all about the world of relationships and how to be an amazing therapist.

    Advertise

    Copyright: © 2025 Shane Birkel

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    Latest Episodes:
    123: David Wexler on Counseling in the #Metoo Era Apr 07, 2020
    Show notes

    Because of the history of power and influence in our world, we are socialized in ways that impact our relationships in a huge way. If we aren't aware of these realities, we might behave in inappropriate or boundary violating ways that are offensive to the people we care about the most.

    Dr. David Wexler talks about this topic and what we can do to live in a way that is more relational for everyone. David Wexler has been teaching and writing about relationships and men's issues for decades. He is currently working on a new book about Counseling in the #Metoo Era.

    Find out more about David at davidwexlerphd.com

    The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

    Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

    Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

    Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

    Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

    Today's Sponsor

    I've partnered with the Psychotherapy Networker to give you this free resource from Esther Perel. She's put together her 125 best "sexuality conversation starters." Get it today at psychotherapynetworker.org/shane


    122: Working with Infidelity and the Developmental Model with Kim Gist Miller Mar 31, 2020
    Show notes

    In this episode with Kimberly Gist Miller we talk about using the Developmental Model in working with Affairs. Many of the clients we work with have a lot of trauma and it is so important to know that history and to know how to work with it.

    Kimberly Gist Miller is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Frisco, Texas, outside of Dallas. She specializes in working with couples, relationships, and infidelity. She is also a trainer and speaker on different aspects of relationships and for therapists.

    You can find her at myfriscocounselor.com

    and a_beautiful_marriage on instagram

    The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

    Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

    Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

    Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

    Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

    Today's Sponsor

    The episode today is sponsored by Clearly Clinical Continuing Ed. Clearly Clinical is the nation's premier podcast Continuing Ed provider, and features industry experts from across the world.

    Clearly Clinical is an approved CE provider with the APA, NBCC, NAADAC, CCAPP, and CAMFT, and is women-owned, founded by Elizabeth Irias, LMFT. Clearly Clinical supports minority and women presenters, and donates to the Trevor Project for LGBTQ+ youth suicide prevention.

    Clearly Clinical is literally the most affordable continuing ed provider in the country, bringing you unlimited CE courses for just $60 a year. As a promo for my listeners, you can use the code SHANE to get an entire year of CE courses for just $40. They also have a number of free CE courses, too, so check those out at their website, ClearlyClinical.com.


    121: Keeping the Hope In a Pandemic with Shane Birkel Mar 24, 2020
    Show notes

    This episode is a recording of a webinar I did recently with the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook group. We talk about the implications of this time during the coronavirus pandemic.

    The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

    Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

    Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

    Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

    Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

    Today's Sponsor

    The episode today is sponsored by Clearly Clinical Continuing Ed. Clearly Clinical is the nation's premier podcast Continuing Ed provider, and features industry experts from across the world.

    Clearly Clinical is an approved CE provider with the APA, NBCC, NAADAC, CCAPP, and CAMFT, and is women-owned, founded by Elizabeth Irias, LMFT. Clearly Clinical supports minority and women presenters, and donates to the Trevor Project for LGBTQ+ youth suicide prevention.

    Clearly Clinical is literally the most affordable continuing ed provider in the country, bringing you unlimited CE courses for just $60 a year. As a promo for my listeners, you can use the code SHANE to get an entire year of CE courses for just $40. They also have a number of free CE courses, too, so check those out at their website, ClearlyClinical.com.


    120: Moving Your Couples Therapy Practice Online with Clay Cockrell Mar 18, 2020
    Show notes

    In the last few days we are seeing changes in our whole society that are bigger and happening more quickly than anything else in decades. At some point in the coming weeks, most of us will have to consider seeing clients online as restrictions continue because of the Coronavirus.

    This is a special episode with Clay Cockrell which specifically addresses the issue of moving your Couples Therapy practice online. It is a particularly helpful conversation for those who haven't practiced online before.

    Clay has a podcast called The Online Counseling Podcast and an Online Counseling Directory. These can be found at onlinecounseling.com.

    Clay also has a new podcast called Finding Therapy which can be found at these social media handles:

    https://www.facebook.com/findingtherapy

    https://www.instagram.com/findingtherapypodcast/

    https://twitter.com/FindingTherapy (@findingtherapy)

    Podcast: https://www.onlinecounselling.com/finding_therapy/

    The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

    Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

    Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

    Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

    Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

    Today's Sponsor

    The episode today is sponsored by Clearly Clinical Continuing Ed. Clearly Clinical is the nation's premier podcast Continuing Ed provider, and features industry experts from across the world.

    Clearly Clinical is an approved CE provider with the APA, NBCC, NAADAC, CCAPP, and CAMFT, and is women-owned, founded by Elizabeth Irias, LMFT. Clearly Clinical supports minority and women presenters, and donates to the Trevor Project for LGBTQ+ youth suicide prevention.

    Clearly Clinical is literally the most affordable continuing ed provider in the country, bringing you unlimited CE courses for just $60 a year. As a promo for my listeners, you can use the code SHANE to get an entire year of CE courses for just $40. They also have a number of free CE courses, too, so check those out at their website, ClearlyClinical.com.


    119: 5 Things Couples Therapists Should Know from a Sex Therapist with Martha Kauppi Mar 10, 2020
    Show notes

    Most Couples Therapists understand the importance of bringing sex into the conversation in couples therapy. Unfortunately, most feel unprepared to know what questions to ask, how to make clients feel comfortable, and what to do with the information once it is part of the conversation. In this episode, Sex Therapist, Martha Kauppi and I talk all about how to do that.

    Martha Kauppi has a lifelong career in sexual health, counseling, and creative education. She has been a midwife, an artist, and is currently a certified sex therapist. She is the founder of The Institute for Relational Intimacy which is committed to competence working with a full array of sex issues, including sexual health concerns, alternative sexualities, problematic sexual behavior, and LGBTQAI+ related concerns.

    Check out Martha's website at instituteforrelationalintimacy.com

    Martha Kauppi, surveyed over a hundred therapists about their toughest cases related to sexuality. She found that the vast majority of these tough cases revolved around desire discrepancy. Guided by these responses, Martha crafted an in-depth article series designed to help therapists work with their toughest desire discrepancy cases. Now she's sharing it, at no charge. The five-part series will show you how to: ● Untangle the relationship between menopause and desire discrepancy ● Help higher-desire partners cope, despite frustration and resentment ● Rekindle the spark in relationships gone flat ● Break the toxic cycle of internal or external pressure that further decreases desire ● Help higher-desire female partners in heterosexual relationships deal with the shame and embarrassment of not matching gender expectations Get the complimentary article series delivered direct to your inbox by signing up here.

    The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

    Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

    Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

    Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

    Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

    Today's Sponsor

    The episode today is sponsored by Clearly Clinical Continuing Ed. Clearly Clinical is the nation's premier podcast Continuing Ed provider, and features industry experts from across the world.

    Clearly Clinical is an approved CE provider with the APA, NBCC, NAADAC, CCAPP, and CAMFT, and is women-owned, founded by Elizabeth Irias, LMFT. Clearly Clinical supports minority and women presenters, and donates to the Trevor Project for LGBTQ+ youth suicide prevention.

    Clearly Clinical is literally the most affordable continuing ed provider in the country, bringing you unlimited CE courses for just $60 a year. As a promo for my listeners, you can use the code SHANE to get an entire year of CE courses for just $40. They also have a number of free CE courses, too, so check those out at their website, ClearlyClinical.com.


    118: Running on Empty with Jonice Webb Mar 03, 2020
    Show notes

    We often see clients in our offices who are struggling with things like a lack of fulfillment, a deep sense that something isn't right with me, a feeling of disconnection, and a lack of emotional intelligence. It can be hard to know how to work with these clients and help them make connections about why they might be feeling these things.

    In this episode, Dr. Jonice Webb sheds light on this issue and discusses how prevalent the reality of Childhood Emotional Neglect is in our society and the impact it has on people's lives and relationships.

    Dr. Jonice Webb is a recognized psychologist expert with over 25 years of experience, and the author of the best-selling books Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect and Running On Empty No More: Transform Your Relationships With Your Partner, Your Parents & Your Children.

    Find out more about Jonice Webb at childhoodemotionalneglect.com

    Take the Childhood Emotional Neglect Assessment

    Get your copies of Running on Empty and Running on Empty No More

    The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

    Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

    Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

    Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

    Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

    Today's Sponsor

    The episode today is sponsored by Clearly Clinical Continuing Ed. Clearly Clinical is the nation's premier podcast Continuing Ed provider, and features industry experts from across the world.

    Clearly Clinical is an approved CE provider with the APA, NBCC, NAADAC, CCAPP, and CAMFT, and is women-owned, founded by Elizabeth Irias, LMFT. Clearly Clinical supports minority and women presenters, and donates to the Trevor Project for LGBTQ+ youth suicide prevention.

    Clearly Clinical is literally the most affordable continuing ed provider in the country, bringing you unlimited CE courses for just $60 a year. As a promo for my listeners, you can use the code SHANE to get an entire year of CE courses for just $40. They also have a number of free CE courses, too, so check those out at their website, ClearlyClinical.com.


    117: Where Does Masturbation Fit Into a Couple's Sex Life with Ari Tuckman Feb 25, 2020
    Show notes

    How is masturbation being used in the couple--as a path of least resistance to avoid confronting sexual/relational issues or as an add-on to an otherwise good shared sex life? How can couples balance the right to self-pleasure against the right to a sexually available partner? Does masturbation use up sexual interest--or kindle it? Does it matter whether external erotic material is used (porn, erotica, etc)?

    Dr. Ari Tuckman discusses these, and many other topics in the latest episode of the The Couples Therapist Couch.

    Ari is an expert at working with ADHD, relationships and is also a sex therapist. He has written 4 books and has a podcast about ADHD called More Attention, Less Deficit.

    Books:

    • ADHD After Dark: Better Sex Life, Better Relationship (August 2019)
    • Understand Your Brain, Get More Done: The ADHD Executive Functions Workbook
    • More Attention, Less Deficit: Success Strategies for Adults with ADHD
    • Integrative Treatment for Adult ADHD: A Practical, Easy-to-Use Guide for Clinicians

    Find out more at adultadhdbook.com

    The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

    Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

    Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

    Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

    Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

    Today's Sponsor

    I've partnered with the Psychotherapy Networker to give you this free resource from Esther Perel. She's put together her 125 best "sexuality conversation starters." Get it today at psychotherapynetworker.org/shane


    116: Attuning to the Attachment Dilemma with Ryan Rana Feb 18, 2020
    Show notes

    One of the most difficult thing we do as couples therapists is to get both members of a couple to feel like we get them and we want what is best for them. In this episode, EFT trainer and supervisor, Ryan Rana, walks us through the process of attuning to a client's deepest pain or attachment dilemma. Once we show them that we "get it," they will be much more hopeful about the work in couples therapy.

    Ryan Rana, PhD, LMFT, LPC is an ICEEFT certified EFT Trainer, Supervisor and Therapist. He is the current President and Founder of the Arkansas EFT Center. He and his wife, Anne, founded The Joshua Center where he currently practices and acts as the Executive Director. Ryan is a sought after public speaker. Ryan also supervises and consults with clinicians and leaders in Arkansas and around the world in online platforms. In his 21 year career he has spoken to groups on over 1,000 occasions.

    Find out more at ryanrana.com and arkansaseft.com

    The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

    Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

    Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

    Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

    Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

    Today's Sponsor

    I've partnered with the Psychotherapy Networker to give you this free resource from Esther Perel. She's put together her 125 best "sexuality conversation starters." Get it today at psychotherapynetworker.org/shane


    115: Janina Fisher on Working with Trauma in Couples Therapy Feb 11, 2020
    Show notes

    When couples are unable to communicate because they get emotionally escalated, it is often a result of trauma. Dr. Janina Fisher helps people become aware of these emotions and parts of themselves in a way that they can begin to heal and grow and improve their relationships.

    Janina Fisher, PhD is a licensed Clinical Psychologist and Instructor at the Trauma Center, an outpatient clinic and research center founded by Bessel van der Kolk. Known for her expertise as both a therapist and consultant, Dr. Fisher lectures and teaches nationally and internationally on topics related to the integration of research and treatment and how to introduce these newer trauma treatment paradigms in traditional therapeutic approaches.

    Find out more at janinafisher.com

    Get her book, Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors

    The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

    Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

    Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

    Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

    Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

    Today's Sponsor

    I've partnered with the Psychotherapy Networker to give you this free resource from Esther Perel. She's put together her 125 best "sexuality conversation starters." Get it today at psychotherapynetworker.org/shane


    114: Alexandra Solomon on Taking Sexy Back Feb 04, 2020
    Show notes

    Women are expected to be sexy, but not sexual. We're bombarded with conflicting, shame-inducing, and disempowering messages about sex, instead of being encouraged to connect with our true sexual selves. Sexy gets reduced to a performance, leaving us with little to no space to reckon with the complexities of sexuality. In a culture intent on telling you who and how to be, standing in your truth is revolutionary. (from the Amazon book description for Taking Sexy Back)

    Dr. Alexandra H. Solomon is a clinical assistant professor in the Department of Psychology at Northwestern University and a licensed clinical psychologist. She is the author of the book Loving Bravely: Twenty Lessons of Self-Discovery to Help You Get the Love You Want (New Harbinger, 2017).

    Her second book, about sexual self-awareness, Taking Sexy Back: How to Own Your Sexuality and Create the Relationship You Want, was published in February 2020. Dr. Solomon maintains a psychotherapy practice for individual adults and couples, teaches and trains marriage and family therapy graduate students, and teaches the internationally renowned undergraduate course, "Building Loving and Lasting Relationships: Marriage 101."

    Find out more at dralexandrasolomon.com

    The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

    Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

    Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

    Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

    Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

    Today's Sponsor

    I've partnered with the Psychotherapy Networker to give you this free resource from Esther Perel. She's put together her 125 best "sexuality conversation starters." Get it today at psychotherapynetworker.org/shane


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