The Constant: A History of Getting Things Wrong

Latest Episodes:

Great Lakes Pirates, Part 1: Pirate Bill Dec 30, 2025

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Arg, me mateys.

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The Christmas Bullet & It's Wonderful (Redux) Dec 16, 2025

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Two classic Constant Christmas episodes, remade in higher quality, and available ad-free for Patreon subscribers. That could be you!

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Santa's Secret Super Stories Dec 02, 2025

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Down through the chimney, click click click, it's three bonus stories from the Patreon secret feed!

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Paper Blankets Nov 18, 2025

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Dust in the wind. All we are is dust in the wind. Even more so: our stuff.

Send me your best "I bet you didn't know that" story in an audio file to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠tellmesomethingconstant@gmail.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠ ⁠⁠⁠ ⁠
Check out: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠indeed.com/theconstant⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ now to start hiringVisit our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. You too can get ad-free, early episodes, starting now!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠BUY OUR MERCH, YOU FILTHY ANIMALS!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ The Constant is part of the ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Airwave Media⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ podcast network. Interested in advertising on The Constant? Email ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠sales@advertisecast.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to get on board!

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A P Hill to Die on Nov 04, 2025

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All your base are belong to U.S.

Send me your best "I bet you didn't know that" story in an audio file to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠tellmesomethingconstant@gmail.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠ ⁠⁠⁠
Check out: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠indeed.com/theconstant⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ now to start hiring
Visit our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. You too can get ad-free, early episodes, starting now!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠
⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠BUY OUR MERCH, YOU FILTHY ANIMALS!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
The Constant is part of the ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Airwave Media⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ podcast network.
Interested in advertising on The Constant? Email ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠sales@advertisecast.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to get on board!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Revenants Oct 21, 2025

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Let your imagination go wild.

Send me your best "I bet you didn't know that" story in an audio file to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠tellmesomethingconstant@gmail.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠ ⁠⁠Check out: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠indeed.com/theconstant⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ now to start hiringVisit our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. You too can get ad-free, early episodes, starting now!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠BUY OUR MERCH, YOU FILTHY ANIMALS!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ The Constant is part of the ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Airwave Media⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ podcast network. Interested in advertising on The Constant? Email ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠sales@advertisecast.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to get on board!

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Tice and The Tornado Oct 07, 2025

Show notes

I can virtually guarantee that you've never heard this story before. As no one has, for at least the last century.

Send me your best "I bet you didn't know that" story in an audio file to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠tellmesomethingconstant@gmail.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠ ⁠
Check out: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠indeed.com/theconstant⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ now to start hiring
Visit our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.
You too can get ad-free, early episodes, starting now!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
BUY OUR MERCH, YOU FILTHY ANIMALS!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
The Constant is part of the ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Airwave Media⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ podcast network.
Interested in advertising on The Constant? Email ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠sales@advertisecast.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to get on board!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How To Disappear Completely Sep 23, 2025

Show notes

(And Eventually Be Found)

Send me your best "I bet you didn't know that" story in an audio file to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠tellmesomethingconstant@gmail.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠
Check out: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠indeed.com/theconstant⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ now to start hiring
Visit our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.
You too can get ad-free, early episodes, starting now!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ BUY OUR MERCH, YOU FILTHY ANIMALS!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
The Constant is part of the ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Airwave Media⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ podcast network. Interested in advertising on The Constant? Email ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠sales@advertisecast.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to get on board!

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Tell Me Something I Don't Know (Volume 2) Sep 09, 2025

Show notes

More stories! More mea culpas! More NAPOLEON! This one's got it all.

Send me your best "I bet you didn't know that" story in an audio file to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠tellmesomethingconstant@gmail.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Check out: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠indeed.com/theconstant⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ now to start hiringVisit our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. You too can get ad-free, early episodes, starting now!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
BUY OUR MERCH, YOU FILTHY ANIMALS!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
The Constant is part of the ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Airwave Media⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ podcast network.
Interested in advertising on The Constant? Email ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠sales@advertisecast.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to get on board!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Rest of The Story - Redux Aug 26, 2025

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We're hatching a plan to demolish The Great Wall of China... again!

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