The Better Behavior Show with Dr. Nicole Beurkens

Books and Guides

Episode Timeline:

Introduction to Dr. Dawn Huebner … 00:02:08

Criteria for When Fears and Phobias Become Problematic … 00:05:12

It’s the Process Not the Fear Itself … 00:07:35

Parental Accommodation & Unintentionally Increasing Fears … 00:09:45

Typical Behavior Signs of Fears & Reassurance Seeking … 00:12:05

Overcoming with Intentional Exposure to Fears … 00:19:30

Common Mistakes Parents Make … 00:24:15

Overcoming Fears of Animals or Insects … 00:28:00

Developing Self-Talk Helps with Bravery … 00:34:38

Using Fun Facts to Ease Fears & Phobias … 00:36:30

Educational Series for Specific Fears … 00:38:56

Books & Additional Resources … 00:41:35

Anxiety is Treatable & Wrap Up… 00:43:28

Connect with Dr. Nicole Beurkens:

Episode 205: Anger on the Surface, Anxiety Underneath: How to Help Your Child or Teen Apr 20, 2022

My guest this week is Kelsey Torgerson Dunn In this episode, Kelsey and I discuss how anger can be a mask for anxiety in children, teens and adults. Especially as kids get into the teen and young adult years, it can be really tough as a parent or a professional to decipher what is at the root of hostile or dismissive behavior. They may seem like they’re angry, but when we dig deeper, anxiety may be the culprit. When we know this, it helps us to support them in a more effective way while also helping them understand what’s going on inside their bodies. Kelsey shares her clinical observations and top tips for guiding children, teens and parents through the uncomfortable emotions of when anxiety makes you angry. Kelsey Torgerson Dunn a licensed social worker and the author of When Anxiety Makes You Angry. She specializes in anxiety and anger management therapy for teens and college students, and founded her anxiety focused group practice Compassionate Counseling St. Louis in early 2017. Where to find Kelsey:

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My book Life Will Get Better is available for purchase, click here to learn more.
Looking for more? Check out my Blog and Workshops.
Interested in becoming a patient? Contact us here.

Episode Takeaways:

Intro to Kelsey Torgerson Dunn … 00:01:15

How Anxiety Might Show Up As Anger … 00:04:15

When Your Child Has a Disrespectful Attitude … 00:06:50

Why is Anger an Effective “Mask” for Kids & Adults? … 00:09:58

Guiding Your Child and Teen … 00:12:45

How Cognitive Behavior Therapy Can Help … 00:15:00

A Thought vs a Feeling & 3-Step Process … 00:19:13

Why Kids Go from 0 to 100 Instantly … 00:24:50

When Parents Lose Their Patience … 00:27:40

Perfectionism: Anger Can Be a Close Relative … 00:30:40

Anger is More Socially Acceptable than Anxiety … 00:33:40

Tools and Strategies for When Anxiety Makes You Angry … 00:36:36

Where to connect with Dr. Nicole:

Episode 204: Pornography Exposure: How to Keep Your Child Informed and Safe Online Apr 13, 2022

My guest this week is Kristen Jenson

In this episode, Kristen and I discuss a sensitive but really important topic of pornography, as it relates to our children's safety and wellness. As the amount of screentime has dramatically increased across all ages over the last few years, exposure to pornography is pretty common. Uncomfortable or difficult as it may be to talk about pornography with your children, it's our responsibility as parents to set aside our own discomfort around the topic, so that we can be an accurate and healthy source of information and be a support for them. Kristen and I discuss all aspects of the inevitable exposure to pornography, inappropriate images and videos, and digital safety. We talk about the common questions of, “How do I address this with my child?”, “When do I address it?”, “How to keep my child as safe as possible?”, and so much more.

Kristen Jenson is the founder of Defend Young Minds, and a number one best selling author of the Good Pictures, Bad Pictures, a series of read aloud books. They've been translated into 10 languages and are now augmented by a guidebook for professionals that helps child therapists and educators. She's also the executive producer of the Brain Defense Digital Safety Curriculum, a powerful and engaging video-based course for families and educators. Kristen is a positive voice for raising empowered, resilient screen-smart kids who know how and why to reject pornography. She instills hope and confidence, and leaves her audience with pragmatic advice they can act on immediately.

Episode Takeaways:

Introduction to Kristen Jenson … 00:01:35

Children Being Exposed to Pornography & Sextortion … 00:7:10

Teaching & Modeling Digital Safety … 00:10:50

What Age Do You Discuss Pornography with Children? … 00:12:25

How to Respond When Children are Exposed to Pornography … 00:18:35

Kids Will Feel Ashamed & Be Secretive if Parents Give That Impression … 00:23:00

Exposure to Pornography, Parent Control Limitations, and Development …00:27:40

Setting Kids Up for Healthy Intimate Relationships … 00:35:00

Starting Discussions About Porn vs Intimate Sex … 00:38:28

Addressing Porn Addiction … 00:41:40

Books, Website & Video Resources … 00:45:22

Episode Wrap Up … 00:47:15

Connect with Dr. Nicole:

Episode 203: How Do You Know Which Parenting Advice To Follow? Science Vs. Opinions? Apr 06, 2022

My guest this week is Kristen Jenson In this episode, Kristen and I discuss a sensitive but really important topic of pornography, as it relates to our children's safety and wellness. As the amount of screen time has dramatically increased across all ages over the last few years, exposure to pornography is pretty common. Uncomfortable or difficult as it may be to talk about pornography with your children, it's our responsibility as parents to set aside our own discomfort around the topic, so that we can be an accurate and healthy source of information and be a support for them. Kristen and I discuss all aspects of the inevitable exposure to pornography, inappropriate images and videos, and digital safety. We talk about the common questions of, “How do I address this with my child?”, “When do I address it?”, “How to keep my child as safe as possible?”, and so much more. Kristen Jenson is the founder of Defend Young Minds, and a number one best selling author of the Good Pictures, Bad Pictures, a series of read aloud books. They've been translated into 10 languages and are now augmented by a guidebook for professionals that helps child therapists and educators. She's also the executive producer of the Brain Defense Digital Safety Curriculum, a powerful and engaging video-based course for families and educators. Kristen is a positive voice for raising empowered, resilient screen-smart kids who know how and why to reject pornography. She instills hope and confidence, and leaves her audience with pragmatic advice they can act on immediately. Find Kristen Jenson on Facebookand Instagram Need help with improving your child’s behavior naturally?

My book Life Will Get Better is available for purchase, click here to learn more.
Looking for more? Check out my Blog and Workshops.
Interested in becoming a patient? Contact us here.
Connect with me on:
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Episode Takeaways

Introduction to Kristen Jenson … 00:01:35

Child Exposure to Pornography & Sextortion … 00:7:10

Teaching & Modeling Digital Safety … 00:10:50

What Age Do You Discuss Pornography? … 00:12:25

How to Respond When Children are Exposed to Pornography … 00:18:35

How to Avoid Shame and Secrecy … 00:23:00

Parent Control Limitations, and Development …00:27:40

Setting Kids Up for Healthy Intimate Relationships … 00:35:00

Start Discussions About Porn vs Intimate Sex … 00:38:28

Addressing Porn Addiction … 00:41:40

Books, Website & Video Resources … 00:45:22

Episode 202: How To Help Teens And Tweens Manage Anxiety Mar 30, 2022

My guest this week is Dr. Melanie McNally.

In this episode, Dr. Melanie and I discuss how to manage anxiety for teens and tweens in Gen Z. Kids in these age groups are experiencing more stress and anxiety than ever before, even before the pandemic. Research is showing that teens report levels of stress as high as middle aged adults were reporting just 20 years ago. So kids in these age groups are feeling it, and especially after the last two years. And when kids experience anxiety, it impacts their life in many ways. As a parent, you may really feel at a loss to know how best to support your child and help them create better mental health habits for themselves. This is what we are going to be exploring today and providing helpful strategies with Dr. Melanie McNally.

Dr. Melanie McNally is a licensed clinical psychologist who helps Gen Z’ers become the superheroes of their life stories. She provides online support through teletherapy and coaching online programs and books that teach Gen Z’ers how to build self-confidence, manage anxiety and achieve their goals. Dr. McNally founded Therapy Bootcamp, an app-based psychoeducational service for Gen Z’ers to get therapy tools delivered right to their phones. It's an eight week program where they build self-awareness and develop coping tools, all while being able to DM Dr. McNally directly, right up the alley of kids in this age group for sure. Dr. McNally has worked in the mental health field since 2005, and teaches the skills, strategies and tools she herself has used and continues to use.

Melanie has a freebie how-to guide for parents to help their kids problem-solve better. Visit destinationyou.net/freeguide.

CONNECT WITH DR. MELANIE:

EPISODE TAKEAWAYS:

Introduction to Dr. Melanie McNally & Anxiety in Gen Z … 00:01:22

What’s Happening for Tweens and Teens Right Now … 00:06:15

When Does Anxiety Become a Problem? … 00:11:26

How Does Anxiety Show Up in Your Child? … 00:16:57

Addiction & Substance Use for Anxiety Coping … 00:22:00

Anxiety Can be Passed Down by Parent Behavior … 00:25:12

Adults Communicating with Children About Their Own Mistakes … 00:28:15

Top Tips for Parents with Teens & Anxiety … 00:29:42

When Parents Recognize Their Child Needs Professional Help … 00:40:00

Teen Therapy Bootcamps, Resources & Wrap Up … 00:43:40

CONNECT WITH DR. NICOLE:

Episode 201: How To Solve Challenging Behavior With Observation, Brain Science, and Compassion Mar 23, 2022

My guest this week is Dr. Mona Delahooke.

In this episode, Dr. Mona and I discuss understanding children through the lens of the brain-body connection. Parents, by and large, are often given outdated information, advice, and even strategies about how to navigate challenging behavior and regulation issues with their kids. So today I’ve invited Dr. Mona back to share with us new insights, updates, strategies from her new book that teaches parents what to ask for or to look for beyond just looking at their child's behavior. It’s a guide for how to navigate not only behavior challenges with their children, but also how to get to the root of why they are struggling to regulate their behavior in the first place.

Dr. Mona Delahooke is a licensed clinical psychologist with more than 30 years experience caring for children and families. She's a senior faculty member of the Profectum Foundation, and a member of the American Psychological Association. She's the author of Beyond Behavior: Using Brain Science and Compassion to Understand and Solve Children's Behavioral Challenges, and as a frequent speaker, trainer and consultant to parents, organizations, schools and public agencies. Mona lives and works in the Los Angeles area.

Episode Takeaways:

Dr. Mona Delahooke & Early Child Development … 00:01:53

Understanding Brain-Body Connection & Regulation … 00:06:07

Look Beyond “Definitive Answers” or Applied Behavioral Analysis … 00:11:40

Tools & Strategies for All Children, Not Just “Neurotypical”… 00:16:20

Poor Behavior vs What’s Uncontrollable … 00:25:20

Body Budget & Self-Care … 00:30:38

Assessing Your Child Using Color Guides … 00:33:35

Addressing When Children are Checked Out … 00:38:15

Connect with Dr. Nicole:

Episode 200: How We Should Be Thinking About Anxiety And Holistic Treatments That Work Mar 16, 2022

My guest this week is Dr. Ellen Vora In this episode, Dr. Ellen and I discuss the very relevant topic of anxiety. Anxiety is something that every child and every adult experiences at some point in their lives. While anxiety and anxiety disorders are becoming more common, it's also something that is often misunderstood: anxiety is so much more than “just a mental problem”. When we ignore the physiology part, we are missing out on an important piece that we really need to understand and address. Why? Because anxiety is a whole-body situation.

The good news is, there are so many ways to support anxiety reduction and treatment that go beyond the traditional recommendations of just counseling or medication. Listen in to learn more about the difference between “normal” anxiety and a disorder. Dr. Ellen and I also dive deep into how we should be thinking about anxiety and holistic ways to approach it for ourselves, as well as for our children.

Dr. Ellen Vora received her BA from Yale University and attended Columbia University Medical School. She's a board-certified psychiatrist, medical acupuncturist, and yoga teacher. Dr. Vora takes a functional medicine approach to mental health, considering the whole person and addressing imbalance at the root rather than reflexively prescribing medication. In addition to her private practice and speaking engagements, Dr. Vora consults for healthcare startups, and has a book called The Anatomy of Anxiety coming out in March.

Episode Timeline:

Dr. Ellen Vora & Anxiety Background … 00:01:45

What is Anxiety and a Diagnosis? … 00:09:00

False and True Anxiety … 00:12:20

Designated Patient Concept … 00:17:30

Blood Sugar, Mood Stabilization & Normalizing Situations … 00:19:41

How Anxiety Might Show up in Kids vs Adults … 00:27:11

Management & Supporting Anxiety Reduction, Starting with Sleep … 00:31:27

Blood Sugar Stabilizing Diet & Alcohol … 00:41:30

Hardwired for Movement … 00:47:45

Addiction to Technology … 00:49:30

Resources and Wrap Up … 00:54:17

Connect with Dr. Nicole Beurkens:

Episode 199: The Connections Between Sensory Processing, Relationships, and Behavior Mar 09, 2022

My guest this week is Maggie Viers

In this episode, Maggie and I discuss occupational therapy (OT) for children with a parent focus. Traditional pediatric occupational therapy supports child development, sensory processing, integration and skill acquisition in their everyday life functions. However, there has been a positive shift in the OT paradigm to also focus on the relational and nervous system regulation; and a big piece of that is including the parents in the sessions. Though it’s a hard truth to admit, children are often mirrors of your own “stuff.” We discuss how having awareness of our own nervous systems and history, or “triggers”, affect our parenting and expectations. Maggie gives practical tips to understand your own nervous system, as well as your child’s, and what to do when dysregulation occurs.

Maggie Viers is an Occupational Therapist at Thriving Littles. She guides parents undergoing their own evolution by supporting the daily interactions outside and inside of those difficult moments with their kids. She is a mom of four sensitive and spirited kids, all under the age of six. Boy do I get that and feel that. And she's passionate about shifting the paradigm of the way that we view behavior. Maggie is a Korean adoptee and currently resides in Houston, Texas. She's been an OT for 12 years and has a wonderful Instagram account for parents and professionals.

Episode Takeaways:

Introduction to Maggie Viers & Occupational Therapy … 00:01:44

Children are Mirrors of Your Own “Stuff” … 00:05:20

Behavior is the Tip of the Iceberg … 00:09:40

OT for Children with a Parent-Focus … 00:11:35

Dysregulation in Children & Why it Happens … 00:15:50

How to Handle Meltdowns … 00:20:15

Are Your Expectations as a Parent Fair? … 00:24:00

Adult Sensory Experiences Relating to Parenting … 00:28:20

Starting Points for Supporting Parent Nervous Systems … 00:33:10

Managing Power Struggles with Your Child … 00:35:53

Trauma as a Child and Regulation … 00:38:30

Thriving Littles Resources … 00:43:15

Connect with Dr. Nicole Beurkens:

Episode 198: Alternative Solutions For Mental Health Beyond Medication Mar 02, 2022

My guest this week is Brendan Vermeire.

In this episode Brendan and I discuss the rapid decline in mental health at all ages that traditional mental health evaluations and treatments often overlook or dismiss. We cover the big picture of what needs to change in the conventional model by going beyond prescription medication to better meet the needs of kids and adults with mental health symptoms. We dive into some specifics related to areas like the gut-brain connection, braincell health, stress, trauma, and so much more.

Brendan Vermeire is a mental and metabolic health scientist and researcher, functional medicine educator, writer and speaker. He's a board-certified holistic health practitioner, master nutrition coach, personal trainer, and CrossFit trainer. He's the proud owner and founder of The Metabolic Solutions Institute for Functional Health and Fitness Practitioners, and the Metabolic Solutions Research and Education Foundation, a not-for-profit foundation dedicated to changing the way the world views mental health through advancing the science of mental health dysfunction. He's also the creator of The Mental Map, which is a cutting-edge lab panel for mental health.

EPISODE TAKEAWAYS

Introduction to Brendan Vermeire … 00:01:13

Mental Health Stigma … 00:07:25

Pandemic & Mental Health Decline … 00:11:35

Connection of Mental Health & Metabolic Issues in Children … 00:15:12

Traditional Health Care Disconnection of Whole Body & Mental Health … 20:30

Problems with Normalizing Dysfunction … 00:23:14

Gut-Brain Access & Mental Health … 00:28:55

Stress & Trauma on Microbiome … 00:32:30

Using Monoclonal Antibodies & Pharmaceuticals for Mental Health … 00:39:00

Changing Mental Health Evaluation & Approach … 42:48

Stealth Infections Relating to Mental Health … 45:15

Big Picture for Mental Health in Children … 49:24

Mental Health Testing & Resources … 00:51:50

Connect with Dr. Nicole Beurkens

Episode 197: How To Coparent Children With Developmental Challenges Feb 23, 2022

My guest this week is Dr. Jenna Flowers

In this episode, Dr. Jenna and I discuss how to be a conscious coparent. Coparenting is challenging for many reasons and when there is a child with neurodevelopmental, behavioral, or mental health issues involved, it can often add another level of complexity. There are ways to approach coparenting that allow for better communication, emotional wellness, and healthier relationships for not only the adults involved, but for the kids as well.

Dr. Jenna Flowers is a psychologist and Family Therapist with a private practice in Newport Beach and is the Clinical Director of Mainspring Family Wellness, offering counseling services and parenting classes. She offers an online course for coparenting called coparentwell.com. She has written a book called The Conscious Parent's Guide to Coparenting, and is a court-appointed coparenting therapist in Orange County. Dr. Flowers is also the co-host of Mainspring Family Wellness podcast, discussing all things parenting and family wellness. She herself is a coparent to three children ages 20, 13, 10 and a bonus mom to a 15-year-old son, so she's got the personal as well as the professional experience. Jenna, welcome to the show. It's so great to have you here.

Episode Takeaways: Introduction to Dr. Jenna Flowers & Coparenting … 00:01:21 Is Staying Together or Divorce Better for the Kids? … 00:07:30 Common Challenges Around Coparenting … 00:12:50 Staying “Partnered” as Parents but Not Romantically … 00:19:04 Idea of Conscious Coparenting … 24:33 An Unwilling Ex in Coparenting … 00:27:10 Strategies to Successfully Coparent … 00:30:45 Coparenting Therapy, Custody Arrangements & Avoiding Common Mistakes … 00:36:20 When Coparents are Not Working Together & Court Support … 00:43:00 Seeking Professional Support & Resources … 00:46:00

Connect with Dr. Nicole Beurkens:

Episode 196: How To Support The Development Of Children With Down Syndrome So They Can Thrive Feb 16, 2022

My guest this week is Sandy Bodeau In this episode, Sandy and I discuss raising children diagnosed with developmental delays or impairments, and specifically Down Syndrome. In reality, when does the diagnosis explain the cause of the problem? Does it give us hope or does it impair us as parents? If we change our mindset first, we have the ability to change the trajectory of what otherwise may have been a grim outlook for our child because of a dead-end diagnosis. When we know how to advocate for our children and continue to seek solutions rather than just an ‘answer’, we have the power to transform our children’s lives into a beautiful and healthy, thriving life. Sandy is living proof that with the perseverance that all parents innately have, you can raise a child diagnosed with special needs, reach far beyond; to their fullest potential!

Sandy Bodeau is an author, advocate, immigrant, TV personality and blogger. She's the creative director of the parenting blog, Mara the Wonder Girl. Sandy is a contributing writer for Today Parents and appears on Univision. Her work has been recognized by Vanity Fair, Lucky Magazine and The Today Show, as an influencer on Instagram and Facebook, Sandy posts daily in both English and Spanish. When Sandy learned that her daughter Mara would be born with Down Syndrome, she knew that together, she and Mara would show the world how special and powerful each individual can be. Mara quickly showed her individual strength and perseverance, as well as her magnetic personality. It was on her first birthday that Sandy launched her website, marathewondergirl.com. The website provides resources for all parents, particularly those who have children with special needs to help them reach their full potential. She released her first book, The Light After Loss in December 2019, it follows her journey to have her second child and the four miscarriages she had along the way.

Episode Takeaways:

Episode Intro … 00:00:30

Introduction to Sandy Bodeau & Down Syndrome … 00:01:00

Babies with Down Syndrome Can Be Born 100% Healthy … 00:04:39

Overcoming Hidden Assumptions & Myths of Down Syndrome … 00:09:32

Standard of Treatment vs. Realistic Expectations … 00:12:30

Is the Conventional Medicine Approach to Neurodevelopment Issues Wrong? … 00:15:15

Importance of Developmental Milestones Like Crawling … 00:22:35

Myths of Down Syndrome Development, Thyroid Health … 00:29:26

Standard of Care for Neurodevelopmental Issues … 00:33:15

Getting Curious and How to Advocate … 00:37:55

Bilingual Resources and More Support … 00:40:50

Episode Wrap up … 00:45.23

Connect with Dr. Nicole Beurkens:

Episode 195: How To Overcome Generational Patterns Of Parenting Feb 09, 2022

My guest this week is Hunter Clarke-Fields

In this episode, Hunter and I discuss generational patterns that impact our parenting and specific mindfulness strategies to help us become more aware of how and why we think and act the way we do as parents with our kids. We discuss many tools to be a successful mindful parent, including an “Oh, crap” menu and how to bring more calm and peace into daily life so that we can keep the things that are working well and change the things that aren't serving our children or our adult selves.

Hunter Clarke-Fields is a mindful mama mentor, creator of The Mindful Parenting course, host of The Mindful Mama Podcast and widely followed author of Raising Good Humans, A Mindful Guide to Breaking the Cycle of Reactive Parenting, and Raising Kind, Confident Kids. She helps parents bring more calm and peace into their daily lives. Hunter has over 20 years of experience in meditation practices, and has taught mindfulness to thousands worldwide. She's also a mom.

Episode Takeaways: Introduction to Hunter Clarke-Fields … 00:01:50Anger Toward Your Children & Generational Patterns … 00:05:45Self-Compassion and Unconditional Love First … 13:30What You Don't Transform, You Transmit … 00:19:55Not Accepting Negative Generational Patterns as the Norm … 00:25:50Change Your Parenting from How You Were Parented … 00:32:52Proactive and Reactive Strategies Take Practice … 00:37:35Communication & Benefits of Modeling Out loud … 00:41:26Mindful Parent Resources … 00:47:45

Connect with Dr. Nicole Beurkens:

Episode 194: How To Be Less Reactive And More Calm And Regulated With Your Children Feb 02, 2022

My guest this week is Jason Campbell

In this episode, Jason and I discuss how to stay regulated and be less reactive when things don’t go your way, or when your child is in the midst of big emotions and challenging behaviors. The techniques we discuss are by far some of the most important things we can do to support our kids and ourselves, especially when we are experiencing significant stressors and challenges with our kids or in any other part of our life. So today's episode is dedicated to learning and practicing skills to help everyone be more regulated, mindful, and calm overall. Stay and listen until the end where Jason guides us through an extremely effective 5 minute exercise.

Guest Bio:

Jason's journey into meditation, music and wellness began 43 years ago at the age of eight, when his teacher told him to never listen to notes, but instead to listen to the space in between the notes. He's released over 100 albums, has been number one on multiple billboard and Amazon charts, and has five Billboard Top five albums in a five-month period in 2019. This month, Jason will release his 32nd album in 32 months, titled Zen Piano Correcting Source. Jason is a seventh-degree black belt and co-founder of Zen Wellness. His unique perspective on health, wellness and spiritual growth comes from his lifelong study of both music and the ancient arts of Eastern Health, medicine, meditation, and enlightenment. He is the Director of Music for Genius X Virtual Reality, and writes music and meditation for other organizations, such as Happy ChiliSleep and Focus at Will. His whole adult life has been an effort to combine Eastern Arts, meditation and music. His music and teachings have opened meditation to thousands of people who have never meditated before, or who have tried meditation and failed in their effort to simply sit still and clear the mind. Jason often says, “Be still for one song, five minutes. Close your eyes and breathe with the bell, it can change your life.”

Episode Takeaways:

Episode Intro … 00:00:30

Introduction to Jason Campbell, Music, & Meditation … 00:01:25

Thinking Our Way Through Life … 00:07:20

Parents, is Your Headspace is Clear? … 00:10:33

Coregulation & Not getting Stuck in a Mind Loop … 00:15:08

Monkey Mind and Struggling with Thoughts … 00:22:22

Obstacles & Fighting in Opposition Causes Problems … 24:06

5 Minute Breathing Exercise Example … 00:31:40

Satori, a Glimpse or Moment of Enlightenment … 00:39:53

How Long Do You Meditate For? … 00:42:14

Recognizing in Real Life Groundhog’s Day … 00:47:20

Five Element Meditation & Other Resources … 00: 51:37

Episode Wrap up … 00:52:35

Connect with Dr. Nicole Beurkens:

Episode 193: How to Make Food Fun For Picky Eaters & Children With Sensory Issues Jan 26, 2022

My guest this week is Sarah Appleman.

In this episode, Sarah and I discuss fun ways to help picky eaters and children with feeding issues get more comfortable with new foods, how to deal with various issues surrounding food, how sensory issues impact eating habits and preferences, and redefining what success “in the kitchen” really means. Play With Your Food is a game-changer for any parent that is struggling with their child at mealtime and looking for simple solutions that reduce the stress while improving the variation in your child’s diet.

Sarah Appleman is a published author, speaker, and pediatric occupational therapist. She holds a master's degree in Occupational Therapy and specializes in early intervention for children diagnosed with sensory processing dysfunction. She co-owned Paws for Peds in Long Beach, New York, and created a handwriting curriculum utilizing a multi-sensory approach to handwriting. In her newly released book Play With Your Food, Sarah combines her passion for working with the special needs population with baking through fun therapeutic interventions, activities, and tips. She guides caretakers and kids to enjoy participation in the food preparation experience with fun games while improving the food tolerance of picky eaters.

Learn more about Sarah: Website Instagram - @PlayWithYourFoodbook Episode Takeaways:

Introduction to Sarah Appleman … 00:01:15 Pediatric OT, Sensory, and Feeding Issues … 00:04:05 Connection of Sensory Processing & Eating Issues … 00:10:00 Thorough Intake History & Parental Memories … 00:14:16 Bringing Children into the Kitchen Early … 00:17:20 Kids Stuck in Rigid Eating Habits … 23:07 Favorite Activities to Play with Food and Kids … 00:25:54 Plan Activities when Your Schedule is Less Stressful … 33.35 Success with New Foods isn’t Just Measured by Eating It … 00:35:27 Making Comparisons to What They are Comfortable with … 00:39:55 Play with Your Food & Free Resources … 00:43:46

Connect with Dr. Nicole:

Episode 192 Q&A: What To Do When Extended Family Members Disagree With Your Parenting Jan 24, 2022

This week’s question is from Janetta,

“I have two kids, one has been diagnosed with ADHD and anxiety. He struggles with regulating his behavior and can be quite difficult to manage at times. My partner and I have been learning a lot from you and others about how to understand what's going on with him and to support him better, but I feel like other people in our life just don't get it. For example, my in-laws refuse to acknowledge that our child has challenges. They don't believe in the diagnosis or any of the treatment or supports we have been pursuing. They almost seem ashamed of it. They blame our parenting and continue doing and saying things that aren't helpful, even though those things are not working well. Do you have any advice on how we can address this? I want to have them in our kids' lives, but it's just so stressful for all of us.”

In this episode, I will address when extended family members, especially your own parents, seem unwilling to accept your child's challenges, differences, or needs. These different opinions in parenting among extended family can be extremely stressful, but let’s first understand the potential underlying reasons for their lack of acknowledgment or support. That understanding then gives you a framework for considering how to communicate and navigate through the differences of opinion and any uncomfortable family dynamics.

You can submit a question by emailing us at support@drbeurkens.com with the subject line "Podcast Question." Episode Takeaways:

Not a 1-Size-Fits-All Approach to Parenting through Challenges … 00:02:55

Understanding Your Family's Lack of Acceptance … 00:05:07

Recognizing the Source of Their Underlying Discomfort … 00:07:21

Having Empathy for Them is Helpful for You … 00:13:30

Tangible Strategies Starting with Education … 00:17:10

Clear, Open, and Honest Communication … 00:19:58

When to Give Explanations and What to Include … 00:24:10

Be Patient, You Don’t Need Them to Agree with You … 00:25:10

Who Needs to Take the Lead in Addressing Among Family … 00:28:12 Connect with Dr. Nicole:

Episode 191: Want to Raise Financially Responsible Children and Teens? Teach These Simple Skills… Jan 19, 2022

My guest this week is Scott Donnell.

In this episode, Scott and I discuss how to teach children about money and finances so they can have a healthy relationship with money, develop initiative, be generous, and raise them into responsible adults with the financial literacy skills they need. Finances can be a taboo topic to some and unfortunately, it isn't required in the school curriculum, so as parents, we are responsible for helping our kids learn these skills so that we can minimize problems for them later on. It’s never too late to learn these important life skills, even as adults, with a few easy tips and resources, your child can be fully financially capable by the time they are a teen.

Scott Donnell is a serial entrepreneur who has dedicated his life to both physical and mental health. He's the founder of Apex Leadership Company, a fitness fundraising and leadership program for elementary schools nationwide. Apex has net profited $110 million for schools and now has 55 franchises and 3.6 million customers across the nation. Scott is also the founder of the Hapbee, which is a wearable tech specializing in ultra-low frequencies and can record small magnetic fields from chemical solutions. Its ability to play safe low energy, magnetic signals enable it to replicate feelings, such as happy, alert, relaxed, calm, and sleepy. It's one of my favorite wearables, (maybe we will do a different show on that). Currently, Scott is working on a project called GravyStack, the platform to raise financially capable, generous self-starters. He is also a dad.

Episode Takeaways:

Episode Intro … 00:00:30

Introduction to Scott Donnell … 00:01:30

Need for Financial Literacy Starting in Youth … 00:04:00

If You Don't Master Money, it Will Master You … 7:24

Teaching to be Financially Smart, Not Spoiled … 00:10:30

Finances are the Biggest Problem with Married Couples … 00:14:05

Tangible Practices to Teach Financial Literacy … 00:18:30

Using GravyStack or Physical Jars to Teach … 26:50

Quiz to Find out Beliefs You Have Around Money … 00:31:21

Free Business Fair for Kids to Learn Safe Business … 33:56

Adult Resources for Learning Financial Literacy … 00:37:45

Episode Wrap up … 00:43:16

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Episode 190 Q&A: How Can I Help My Child If I Don’t Have An Accurate Diagnosis? Jan 17, 2022

This week’s question is from Alan and Cara,

“We have a seven-year-old adopted daughter who has struggled with all aspects of regulation and development since she came home with us as a young toddler. She has sensory processing issues, major eating and sleeping issues is hyperactive and impulsive, learning issues, generally is difficult for kids and adults to get along with. Raising her has been challenging to say the least, and the ways that we have handled our other two kids just don't seem to be very effective for her.

There are lots of things we could ask questions about, but the issue we are struggling with right now is getting an accurate diagnosis for her. She's been seen by many professionals and has had many labels given like ADHD, possible Autism, ODD, anxiety disorder, learning disorder, feeding disorder, and sensory processing disorder. We are confused about how all these labels can be accurate, and feel like the real diagnosis hasn't been determined yet. She's scheduled to see another clinician next month, and we hope that maybe she can give us a definitive diagnosis. We feel like until we get the right diagnosis, we can't figure out the best way to help her. What suggestions do you have for getting an accurate diagnosis and treatment plan for a child like this?”

In this episode, I will address the parent’s concerns about getting an accurate diagnosis. The most important thing to remember is that chasing a diagnosis can be a life-long challenge with no real end result. But treatment can start now! Though it may seem like it, a diagnosis is not the key to developing an appropriate treatment plan for your child, specifically in the realm of psychology and mental health. Clinical diagnoses have their place and can be helpful in opening doors, but they can also be extremely limiting and get you and your child stuck on the frustrating hamster wheel of no progress. I will talk about how to shift the focus toward progress so you can help your child be their best by looking at symptoms and not getting hung up on the labels.

You can submit a question by emailing us at support@drbeurkens.com with the subject line "Podcast Question."

Episode Takeaways:

How do we get the right diagnosis? … 00:01:15

Getting a Definitive or “Right” Diagnosis … 00:02:23

Concern with Fixating on the Diagnosis or Label … 00:08:17

Diagnosis is Not the Key to Developing an Appropriate Treatment Plan … 00:11:15

Where is the Answer Found? … 00:13:25

What is My Clinical Evaluation Process … 00:17:35

How the Digging Deeper Workshop Can Help … 00:21:45

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Episode 189: How To Prevent Cavities And Help Children Understand Why Oral Health Is Important Jan 12, 2022

My guest this week is Dr. Staci Whitman.

In this episode, Dr. Staci and I discuss all things oral health, cavities, and children. The mouth could just be the tattletale you actually want in your child’s life! There’s a forgotten link between oral health and systemic health/immune function. Issues in the mouth can actually be one of the first clues that something bigger might be going on physically or brain-wise that we need to deal with. So helping kids have healthy mouths is about a lot more than just the cavity issue. Dr. Staci and I dive into contributing factors to rampant cavities and other oral health issues we are continuing to see at younger ages. She shares many tips on how to make dental hygiene non-negotiable in an approachable and realistic way, as well as overcoming (and avoiding) anxiety and dental phobias. Dr. Staci provides lifestyle tips, resources, and product suggestions that she uses in her pediatric dental practice that can support your whole family’s health journey.

Dr. Staci Whitman is on a mission to create a world without cavities. She's the founder of NoPo Kids Dentistry, where she takes a whole-body holistic and functional approach with her patients. She attended Tufts University School of Dental Medicine and worked as a general dentist for two years, and then went on to earn a certificate in pediatric dentistry from Oregon Health and Sciences University. In 2019, she founded NoPo Kids Dentistry, became a diplomate of the American Board of Pediatric Dentistry, and is a board-certified pediatric dentist and fellow of the American Academy of Pediatric Dentistry. She has taken numerous courses and training in children's sleep and airway medicine, studying oral myofunctional therapy, cranial-sacral therapy, and is a Breathe Institute ambassador. She's also an internationally certified health and wellness coach, and dreams of a world without cavities, and believes in motivating families to join her as a team, keeping their children healthy and thriving with small, manageable daily changes. Episode Takeaways: [00:01:38] Introduction to Dr. Staci Whitman & Holistic Dentistry [00:06:45] How the Mouth is Significantly Connected to Overall Health [00:10:18] Why Kids Are Having More Cavities and Oral Health Problems [00:15:45] Chewing and Facial Development [00:18:36] Cavities: Causes and Reversal & Prevention [00:26:00] Tips for Brushing and Flossing for Kids [00:32:06] Reducing Anxiety & Phobias Around Dentist Visits [00:36:40] Systemic Health & Airway Health [00:41:26] Deep, Oxygenated Quality Sleep is Foundational [00:43:24] Oral Microbiome Importance [00:46:43] Resources and Episode Wrap Up Connect With Dr. Nicole:

Episode 188 Q&A: What To Do When My Child Acts Disappointed After Receiving A Gift Jan 10, 2022

This week’s question is from Erica,

“I’m wondering how to deal with the inevitable disappointments that come from my kids when they get gifts sometimes. They are six and nine years old, and it seems like every time a fun event or season comes around, there ends up being disappointment, tears, and even temper flares. They get ideas in their head about how things will be and not everything works out that way. Or they have all kinds of things they want for gifts, but they don't get all of them. We just went through this for Christmas, and now they have birthdays coming up in the next two months, and I don't want a repeat. How can I help them handle the disappointment better?”

When a child seems "ungrateful" or "spoiled" after receiving a gift, it can be embarrassing for the parent. But what's really going on when a child expresses disappointment when receiving gifts? It's not that they are spoiled or that there is a lack of gratitude, but rather an issue of reacting to disappointment.

I'll break down what your child might be going through and how to deal with it in the moment. And more importantly, how to preemptively ease any potential let-downs ahead of time and navigate through embarrassment or discomfort should a negative reaction occur from your child in a group or home setting.

You can submit a question by emailing us at support@drbeurkens.com with the subject line "Podcast Question."

Episode TimelineFeelings of Disappointment Doesn't Equal Spoiled … 00:01:55 Parenting Through a Child Expressing Disappointment … 00:04:00 Tips for Handling a Child's Disappointment … 00:07:56 Questions to Preview with Your Child … 00:09:57 Problem-Solving Approach for When Disappointment Occurs … 00:14:15 When a Child has a Negative Reaction in the Moment … 00:19:12

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Episode 187: How To Help A Child Manage Stress Before It Negatively Impacts Development, Mood, And Behavior Jan 05, 2022

My guest this week is Josh MacNeill. In this episode, Josh and I discuss teaching children how to manage stress and the ways in which stress affects brain development in children. There is a stronger need now, more than ever, for adults to understand how stress impacts a child's brain. Stress affects a child's ability to function in all areas of their life—developmentally, academically, socially, and behaviorally. So we are going to first discuss stress tolerance, how stress can vary, the capacity for stress, what stress looks like through the lens of a child, and then wrap up by exploring ways in which we can help children become more resilient when encountering stress both in school and at home.

Josh MacNeill began his career as a high school English teacher in an alternative school just outside of Philadelphia. While he was teaching, his organization began to take steps towards becoming a more trauma-informed school and Josh was an early adopter. He saw a lot of success utilizing brain-based and trauma-informed strategies in his own classroom, and quickly found himself with opportunities to train other teachers on the approaches he was using. In 2015, Josh shifted out of the classroom and became the director of Neurologic by Lakeside, a program focused on transforming schools to become more trauma-informed and neurodevelopmentally supportive environments for all learners. (Love that.) Since then, Josh and his team have had the privilege of working with tens of thousands of individuals across the world. Additionally, Josh is an adjunct professor in Eastern University's MD program and published the book 101 Brain Breaks and Brain-Based Educational Activities. Josh, thanks so much for being here. It's great to have you with us today.

Episode Takeaways

What is Stress & How it Impacts the Brain … 00:07:10 “Stress” is in the Eye of the Beholder ... 00:12:25 What is the Root of the Stressors? … 00:17:38 Building Stress Tolerance & Tips … 00:18:30 Finding Individual Stress Sweet-Spots … 27:22 Empathy for Variance in Stress Capacity … 00:31:00 Adults Being Transparent & Vulnerable … 00:36:40 Neuroplasticity: Ability for the Brain to Change … 00:40:18 Recognizing Individual Approaches to Stress … 00:44:58 Professional and Parental Stress Resources … 51:05

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Episode 186: What To Do When Your Child Is Struggling To Get Out Of Bed In The Morning Jan 03, 2022

This week’s question is from Adrienne,

“My 10-year-old son is virtually impossible to wake up and get going in the mornings. He is struggling to get out of bed and can't seem to wake up easily no matter what we do. This turns into a big argument, struggle, and stress for me and my husband every day. My husband tries to threaten and punish, which I don't think is helpful, and then he and I get into an argument about it. I just want my son to do what he needs to do with getting up and going without all of the morning drama. I'm not sure if there's something physically wrong or another issue we need to look at, but I'm worried about what's going to happen to him in the future if he doesn't learn to wake up on his own.”

In this episode, I will address how to get your groggy or resistant child going in the morning. Trying to get everyone out the door in the morning can be stressful, especially when you have a child that struggles to get up. It can cause a lot of problems not just for the child but also between parents and siblings. Sure, some people are just biological early birds but for others not so much. There could also be some other things going on that are interrupting sleep which would make it difficult for your child to wake up early. I’ll give you some tips on what to investigate to see if perhaps it’s a sleep issue. If you have a child who is groggy, resistant, or slow to start in the mornings, this is the episode to listen to for tips to get “up and at’em” without the struggle or drama! (Hint: these tips aren’t just for sleepy kids either!) Episode Timestamps Sleep Cycles & Morning Grogginess … 00:01:33 Parenting Approaches Between Parents … 00:04:14 Is Sleep Quality a Potential Root Cause? … 00:06:30 Evaluating Bedtime & Sleep Hygiene … 00:08:50 Nutrition, Supplements, Medication & Sleep … 00:10:12 Talk with Your Child About Their Observations … 00:14:25 Strategies for Difficult Mornings … 00:17:42

Connect with Dr. Nicole Beurkens

Episode #185: Plant Medicine Can Help Children With Better Brain Function, Behavior, and Sleep Dec 29, 2021

My guest this week is Dr. Dan Gubler.

In this episode, Dr. Dan and I discuss the power of plants for supporting brain function, behavior, ADHD, sleep, anxiety, and more. We talk specifically about how the bioactive compounds in plants, called phytonutrients, can be used therapeutically to improve specific symptoms and their necessity in overall health through diet. Plants used for medicine is anything but a new concept, however, more education in this area is needed for parents to feel confident in trying plant-based therapies for their children. So Dr. Dan and I cover what to look for in a quality supplement, safety with plant-based medicine, and concerns when combining natural supplements together or with other medications.

Dr. Dan Gubler is a natural product chemist that has traveled to every continent, discovering and researching bioactive compounds in plants and using them to help others. He has 16 patents and has developed 70 nutritional supplements. He is an expert on how phytonutrients can improve health conditions. He is a member of the London Speaker Bureau, has spoken at over 150 events in 40 countries, and is co-founder and chief scientific officer at Brilliant, an innovative proactive wellness company that creates nutritional supplements to help people unleash their innate brilliance. He is also the host of Discover with Dr. Dan, the proactive health podcast.

Episode Timestamps: Plant Compounds and Phytonutrients … 00:05:38 When Pharmaceuticals are Necessary … 00:09:38 Bioactive Compounds Plants & Anxiety … 00:11:39 Quality Standards to Look for in Supplements … 00:15:24 CBD, Hemp, Cannabis … 00:18:00 Safety and Awareness of Mixing Plant Compounds … 00:24:25 ADHD, Anxiety and PMDD: Supplements and Plant Compounds … 00:27:00 Therapeutic Dosage May Vary from Bottle Dosage … 00:31:27 Autism Spectrum Disorder & Natural Compounds … 00:33:27 Sleep Supplements & Kids … 00:36:06 Compounds for Mood & Emotional Balance … 00:37:52 Phytonutrient Resources … 00:41.54

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Episode 183: How To Raise A Parent - We Can All Learn How To Be More Conscious And Self-Aware Dec 22, 2021

My guest this week is Ellen Gottlieb

In this episode, Ellen and I discuss what it means to be a conscious parent and self-aware person. This is an episode for everyone, not just those with atypical neurodevelopmental children. We talk about bringing a level of awareness to our relationships with our kids, to the approaches that we take with them that allow us to have a deeper, respectful, connected relationship so they can grow into the people they are meant to be in this world. You will find that this actually involves us as adults doing a lot more work on ourselves: with our ego, reactivity, unconditional love, reflection, and presence than it is with our kids. Our children will be okay if we are okay.

Ellen Gottlieb is an attorney and certified Conscious Parenting Coach. She coaches parents and individuals, teaching them how to live a more mindful, joyful life. Ellen recently published her new book called “How to Raise a Parent: Becoming A Conscious Parent In An Unconscious World.” She has been successfully guiding parents as she teaches them to shed their entrenched patterns and create deeper connections with their children, which fosters self-confidence and reduces anxiety.

Episode Timestamps:

Episode Intro … 00:00:30

Ellen Gottlieb from Attorney to Parenting Coach … 00:03:04

Conscious Humans & Mountain Awareness … 00:07:49

What Does it Mean to Be a Conscious Parent … 00:10:12

Separating Our Stories and Accepting What Life Actually Brings … 00:14:15

Hurt, Punishment, Fear and Control in Parenting … 00:17:55

Raising Ourselves as Parents … 00:22:43

Direct and Intergenerational Trauma … 00:25:48

Fearing a Child Won’t Outgrow Behavioral Challenges … 00:29:19

Where to Start with a Conscious Toolbox … 00:32:02

Recognizing Fear, Honoring Special Time and Presence … 00:37:32

Becoming A Conscious Parent In An Unconscious World … 00:43:55

Episode Wrap up … 00:45:24

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Episode 182 Q&A: What Are The Pros And Cons to Consider When Buying Your Child Their First Smartphone? Dec 20, 2021

This weeks question is from Priscilla,

“I have two daughters, ages 9 and 12, and both are begging to get an iPhone for Christmas this year. My husband and I have somewhat different opinions on this. I'm less comfortable with it than he is. I know there are lots of concerns with kids having their own phones, and honestly, it just feels like one more major thing that's going to be left for me to manage. I'm wondering your opinion on smartphones for kids and when is the right age to get them.”

In this episode, I will address age-appropriate smartphones. At some point, all parents will have to deal with deciding when it is appropriate to buy a smartphone for their child. Although there are no hard and fast rules for when it is appropriate, there are many things to consider. Let’s discuss the pros and cons of smartphones, criteria, and questions to help you decide when your child may be developmentally ready to handle the responsibilities of a phone, and once that is decided, how to set expectations, boundaries, and monitoring of the devices.

You can submit a question by emailing us at support@drbeurkens.com with the subject line "Podcast Question."

Episode Timestamps:

Episode Intro … 00:00:30

Listener’s Question … 00:00:48

Benefits of Smartphones for Kids … 00:02:27

Negative Sides of Smartphones for Kids … 00:04:25

Age Appropriate Time for a Smartphone … 00:08:05

Checklist for Assessing Readiness of Your Child … 00:09:55

Developing Guidelines for Smartphone Usage … 00:19:50

Nighttime Rules for Phone Usage … 00:20:07

Being Open with Monitoring Apps and Expectations … 00:22:38

Better Behavior in a Digital World Workshop & Episode Wrap up… 00:24:57

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Episode 181: How Trauma Impacts Brain Development & Brain Function in Children Dec 15, 2021

My guest this week is Robyn Gobbel

In this episode, Robyn and I discuss how trauma impacts brain development and brain function in kids. We talk about what trauma can mean, from big T to little t, how adoption is a traumatic experience through a child’s eyes, and the neuroscience of what trauma is doing to the brain. We also discuss looking past the “meaning” of the surfaced behavior(s) and how past traumas can impact all aspects of well-being: regulation, connection, health, and safety. And of course, we wrap up with ways parents and caregivers can better regulate themselves, kids, and their families in these situations.

About the Guest:

Robyn is a licensed clinical social worker who loves coffee, pink, and everything about the brain. Once, fairly recently, her teenager went ballistic on her for getting another glitter coffee mug in the mail. Robin loves cultivating deep, resonant connections with anyone who is up for it, and is especially fond of all the grownups in the world who love and care for kids impacted by trauma: Helpers, healers, educators, and parents. Her favorite thing is teaching anyone who will listen to harness the power of neuroscience so they can cultivate deep resonant connections. This would change the world if we could all do that: To be seen, to be with, feel and deeply know each other and ourselves. Robyn really believes that this can change everything.

Episode Timestamps:

Episode Intro … 00:00:30

Introduction of Robyn Gobbel & Working in Childhood Trauma … 00:01:35

What Does Trauma All Include? … 00:06:30

Big T Trauma vs Little t Trauma … 00:09:30

Adoption Process as Traumatic in the Eyes of Kids … 00:12:42

How Trauma Impacts Behavior of Kids & Development … 00:17:09

Looking Deeper, Past the Surface Behaviors … 00:25:11

Trauma Affects Regulation, Connection, Health, & Safety … 00:26:50

Ability to Regulate and Impaired Regulatory Circuits … 00:28:00

The Power Professionals Hold … 00:35:23

Tangible Solutions for Parenting Kids with Trauma … 00:37:15

Are Consequences Appropriate for Bad Behavior? … 00:48:00

Resources for Parents & Professionals … 00:50:52

Episode Wrap Up … 00:53:15

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Episode 180 Q&A: Why Do My Kids Behave at School but Meltdown at Home? Dec 13, 2021

This weeks question is from Tiffany,

“I’m really struggling with managing my two kids in the after-school time period. My nine-year-old has autism and his teachers tell me he does fine in school, but the minute he gets home, it's just one problem after another, it's like he's a different kid. My daughter is six, and also seems to get really worked up after she gets home from school. Maybe it's because of her brother. I'm not sure. I feel like I'm not doing a very good job managing them during this time. It’s creating a lot of stress for all of us. I just try to get through to the point where we can have dinner and they can go to bed. I don't get why they can have a good day at school and then come home and it's like this. Please help.”

In this episode, I will address a phenomenon called school-restraint collapse and the many things you can do about it. After school time can be tricky for everyone, I hear from parents all the time that kids have a great day at school, but the moment they get home, or in the car, it starts the cascade of endless meltdowns and fights. Why do they turn into a hot mess? We talk about how to work through this and more importantly, how to prevent it.

You can submit a question by emailing us at support@drbeurkens.com with the subject line "Podcast Question."

Episode 179: Practical Tips For Slowly Reducing Sugar and Junk Food From Your Family’s Diet Dec 08, 2021

My guest this week is Dr. Natasha Beck

In this episode, Dr. Beck and I discuss some of the biggest offenders in terms of nutrition, food for kids, and how it impacts their brain function. As we are coming out of the pandemic, let’s take an honest look at our family’s physical and mental health–what simple changes can we implement to feel and perform at our best? We start with the basics on how to realistically improve nutrition and lifestyle, including non-toxic living, so that every family is empowered to make healthy decisions.

About Dr. Beck:

Dr. Natasha Beck is a parenting expert and founder of Dr. Organic Mommy, an online resource focused on pregnancy, parenting, and non-toxic living. She holds a Doctorate in Clinical Psychology, specializing in Pediatric Neuro-psychology, and a Master's in Public Health specializing in Child and Family Health. She's also certified in leadership education and neurodevelopmental disabilities from Children's Hospital Los Angeles. From how to handle tantrums to mealtime difficulties to helping families live healthier lives, Dr. Organic Mommy aims to help every family make healthy decisions, drawing on her experience as a mom and a parenting expert. Her parenting expertise combines the use of Waldorf, Montessori, and RIE philosophies, all of which we have covered at various times on the show, tied into cognitive-behavioral and play therapy. When she's not working on Dr. Organic Mommy, Natasha is busy raising her three children, and she's got another, a fourth on the way, and her two fur babies with her husband, and serves on the board of various organizations.

Episode Timestamps: Episode Intro … 00:00:30

Introduction to Dr. Beck … 00:01:12

Dr. Beck’s Background—ADHD and Effects of Diet … 00:02:48

Biggest Knowledge Gaps on Food & Lifestyle … 00:05:23

2 Biggest Offenders in “Kids Food” … 00:07:28

Chronic Health Issues Associated with Sugars and Overconsumption … 12:47

Practical Ways to Reduce Sugar … 00:16:38

Taking Baby Steps to Decrease Sugar … 00:22:33

Best Kid-Friendly Snacks to Have On-Hand … 27:20

Should You Avoid Juice? … 00:31:19

Snacks are the Easiest to Transition to Start With … 00:36:45

Preservatives, Dyes, and Chemicals Hiding In Our Food … 00:38:58

Food Additives on the Gut, Oral, Brain, and Overall Health … 00:43:32

Social Toxins Can be Worse than Chemical Ones … 00:45:35

Episode Wrap up & Resources … 00:47:00

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Episode 178 Q&A: How to Effectively Handle Meltdowns, Tantrums, and Challenging Behavior (Without Making it Worse) Dec 06, 2021

This weeks question is from Marcus,

“I need ideas for how to manage meltdowns with my son who is seven years old. He is autistic and also has a history of trauma and has been given lots of other labels too. When he gets upset, he literally melts down, and I really don't know how to calm him. He doesn't respond to things like offering a treat or threatening punishment, and I'm really not sure what to do to help.”

In this episode, I will address how to effectively handle meltdowns, tantrums, and challenging behavior, which are tools all parents need! First, we need to understand what a meltdown really is and then we will dive into many strategies: starting with where parents and caretakers often go wrong, and how using a “bottom-up” approach is much more effective. I will give you tips and suggestions for all aspects of the meltdown process, as well as helpful reminders for yourself and for when they are transitioning into a more regulated state.

Episode 177: Setting These Boundaries Will Help You Avoid Parental Burnout Dec 01, 2021

My guest this week is Dr. Kim Swales

In this episode, Dr. Kim and I have a candid conversation about all things life— We discuss tips on co-parenting and setting boundaries, partnerships, obligations, burnout, values, and so much more! In a society that is on edge more than ever before, Dr. Kim shares powerful, wise, insights on how to gracefully navigate through the opposition we feel.

Dr. Kim earned her PhD in Marriage and Family Communication with a concentration in counseling from Ohio University over 27 years ago. She then went on to do postdoctoral studies in counseling. Dr. Swales was formerly a researcher and college professor at the University of Houston, but is now in private practice as a parenting, marriage, relationship, and life coach. She has published research on gender communication, friendship, family, and marital communication, and relationship maintenance. She speaks to schools and organizations several times a year on parenting relationships and marriage. And on the personal side, she has been married for 25 years and has three children of her own, so she brings a real-life perspective, to her practice, and certainly to the things that we are going to talk about today.

Timestamps:

Episode Intro … 00:00:30

Dr. Kim Swales Introduction … 00:01:05

Communication & Getting on the Same Page with Your Partner … 00:05:35

Head & Assistant Coach Position Analogy in Parenting … 00:12:45

Sharing Responsibilities & Avoiding Burnout … 00:17:20

Signs Parents May Need Professional Communication Support … 00:20:08

Adjusting & Being Firm with Family Values, Time & Traditions … 00:29:05

How to Set Boundaries with School and Homework …00:32:47

Stop Getting Sucked into Everyone’s Everything … 00:38:35

Navigating Through an On-Edge Society … 00:42:08

Episode Wrap Up & Resources … 00:47:56

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Episode 176 Q&A: The Best Nutrient-Dense and Kid-friendly Food for Picky Eaters Nov 29, 2021

This weeks question is from Izzy,

“What are some nutrient-dense, and at least kind of kid-friendly foods I can try to incorporate into my child's diet? My three kids range from somewhat picky to super picky and we are working on getting comfortable with new foods. I would like to try to incorporate some new foods that have better nutrient density, any recommendations?”

In this episode, I will address picky eaters and 7 of my top foods/food categories that I find are the most kid-friendly, nutrient-dense, readily available, and easy to prepare. First, I'm going to define "nutrient-dense foods" and why whole foods are essential in brain and body development. Then I will discuss each of the 7 foods/food categories, the nutrients they contain, and why they are good options.

You can submit a question by emailing us at support@drbeurkens.com with the subject line "Podcast Question."

Connect with Dr. Nicole Beurkens on...

Episode Timestamps:

Episode Intro … 00:00:30

Listener’s Question … 00:01:12

What is Nutrient Density? … 00:02:12

Exposing Picky Eaters to Nutrient-Dense Foods … 6:02

7 Nutrient-Dense Foods, Starting with Blueberries … 00:08:35

Versatile and Nutrient-Packed Avocado … 00:12:50

Pumpkin Seeds as a Hero Food … 00:16:06

Getting in Animal Proteins with Kids … 00:18:32

Nutrients and Ways to Incorporate Dark Leafy Greens … 00:23:18

Variety of Nut Choices and Ways to Use Them … 00:24:05

Sweet Potatoes Have Endless Possibilities … 24:58

Episode Wrap up … 26:40

Episode 175: Is Sleep Quality Causing Your Child’s Behavior & Health Issues? Nov 23, 2021

My guest this week is Dr. Chris Winter

In this episode, Dr. Chris and I discuss the importance of his new book, The Rested Child: Why Your Tired, Wired or Irritable Child May Have a Sleep Disorder and How To Help.

Learn more about the prevalence of sleep disorders in children, the detriment it has on life-long health, the frequency of dismissal in the medical community, and what it actually means to have disordered sleeping versus just a bad night of sleep. Most importantly, we discuss the warning signs in behavior and development that may be a signal to investigate sleep with your primary care providers and various sleep specialists.

Episode Timestamps:

Episode Intro … 00:00:30

Introduction to Dr. Chris Winter … 00:01:28

Appreciating & Recognizing if You Sleep Well … 00:05:15

What is Considered a Sleep Disorder in Kids? … 00:13:30

What Should Our Kids’ Sleep Look Like? … 00:19:38

Clear Red Flags of Sleep Issues … 00:23:15

Neurodevelopmental Challenges and Sleep … 00:32:00

Investigating Sleep Issues with Care Providers & Sleep Specialists … 00:34:40

Options for Sleep Support … 00:43:45

Sleep Education & Lifestyle Habits … 00:48:30

Episode Wrap up & Resources … 00:50:40

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Episode 174 Q&A: How to Teach Kids It’s Okay to Ask for Help & Make Mistakes Nov 22, 2021

This weeks question is from Emma,

“I’m struggling with my sixth-grade daughter who refuses to ask for help, even when it's obvious she needs it. This is becoming a major issue with school assignments as she is encountering some material she doesn't instantly understand. It's also an issue at home with various things, as she'll say she understands something and knows what to do, but then it becomes clear she actually doesn't. I have tried talking with her about it, I tried reassuring her that we all need help sometimes, and it's okay to ask, but beyond that, I'm just not sure what else to do. Any suggestions are welcome.”

In this episode, I will address how to help kids when they are resistant to asking for help or have a low tolerance for making mistakes. As adults, we can teach them how to overcome any uncomfortable feelings by modeling in ways that show them it is a normal part of life even as adults. I will give you many scenarios and tips to do just that in the home, at school, or in public settings.

You can submit a question by emailing us at support@drbeurkens.com with the subject line "Podcast Question."

Timestamps:

Episode Intro … 00:00:30

Listener’s Question … 00:00:50

Acknowledging Emotions Around Asking for Help … 00:01:50

Allow Kids to Sit with Their Feelings … 00:04:50

Normalizing Mistakes & the Associated Feelings … 00:06:15

Modeling Mistakes & Working Through Them … 00:08:36

Praising and Spotlight Efforts in Hard Things … 00:10:52

Start Practicing Mistakes When Stakes are Low … 00:12:40

Give the Opportunity for the Child to Be in the Helper Role … 00:15:43

Embarrassment Around Asking for Help … 00:17:44

Episode Wrap up … 00:19:35

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Episode 173: Holistic Solutions for Autoimmunity in Adults and Children Nov 17, 2021

My guest this week is Dr. Madiha Saeed

In this episode, Dr. Madiha Saeed and I discuss why there has been an explosion of autoimmune diseases not only in adults but also in children. These diseases have a huge impact on the quality of life far beyond just the physical aspects that conventional medicine hasn’t been able to effectively address. There is hope!

We discuss how families can overcome and thrive with autoimmune diseases. Dr. Madiha, a mom of four, is living proof that declining health doesn’t have to be part of our life span. She shares incredibly helpful tips and effective strategies that any family can implement regardless of where they are in their health journey.

Episode Timestamps

Episode Intro … 00:00:30

Dr. Madiha Saeed Introduction … 00:01:45

What is Autoimmunity? … 00:09:00

Why is Autoimmunity on the Rise? … 00:16:30

What is Holistic Parenting? … 00:22:45

A Holistic Approach to Restoring Balance … 00:27:38

Positivity is Powerful Medicine … 00:30:50

Food, Nutrition, and Autoimmunity … 00:32:45

Make Changes Fun, Not Overwhelming … 42:45

Resources for the Family … 00:47:15

Episode Wrap up … 00:49:18

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Episode 172: How Parents Can Support Their Own Sensory Processing Needs Nov 15, 2021

This weeks question is from Carrie,

“I really struggle with my own sensory needs when my kids get loud and upset, especially when it goes on for a while. I have auditory sensitivities, and I just feel overwhelmed when they are crying and carrying on. How do I meet my own sensory needs when my kids are getting loud and chaotic?”

In this episode, I will address effective tools and strategies for adults when they experience sensory processing overload due to their children being dysregulated, loud, etc. We often only think about the child and their emotions when they are dysregulated, but it is just as important for us to check in on our own emotional state. Sensory processing disorder in adults is common to some degree. Even if it isn't a diagnosed disorder, it's likely that most parents struggle with this at some point. Whether you've been home with the kids all day or you've come home from a stressful day at work, it can feel like major overload for parents when their children are dysregulated and upset. The simple strategies I discuss in this episode should help!

Episode #57 and episode #62 (about EFT) are full of really great resources as well.

You can submit a question by emailing us at support@drbeurkens.com with the subject line "Podcast Question."

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Episode Intro … 00:00:30

Listener’s Question … 00:00:55

Parents Struggle with Sensory Processing Disorder Too … 00:01:20

When Kids Get Louder, Parents Need To Get Quieter … 00:03:20

How To Mitigate Auditory Sensitivities for Parents … 00:06:15

Vagus Nerve Reset Activities … 00:08:22

Proprioceptive Input & Tapping … 00:10:50

When Parents Need to Step Away … 00:13:08

Episode Wrap up … 00:14:30

Episode 171: How Your Family Can Achieve Mindfulness, Gratitude, and Forgiveness with a Zen Pig Nov 10, 2021

My guest this week is Mark Brown. Ever since winning a region-wide poetry contest in fourth grade, coastal Virginia native Mark Brown, has been orbiting the world of writing. After graduating with a degree in film and settling down in Nashville, Tennessee, Mark found a niche creating healthcare-based video ads, but after a few years found that that kind of life didn't pair well with his life as a dedicated father. So, he decided to do a major change and apply his talents to the world of children's books, more specifically to the Zen Pig Universe. Mark wanted his son Noble to learn the life-changing power of values like gratitude, mindfulness, self-forgiveness way before he did. Quickly, Mark found that he wasn't alone. Zen Pig was a breakaway hit, helping parents articulate sometimes abstract concepts into easy-to-understand language, paired with beautiful minimalist art. The Zen Pig Universe continues to grow each year with 12 titles already available, and more releasing soon!

In this episode, Mark and I discuss how mindfulness, gratitude, and self-forgiveness are superpowers for adults and kids. More than ever, we need these simple tools that help us stay in the moment. The Zen Pig books have taken these concepts and whittled them down to the most concise, acute gems that are accessible and useful for all ages.

Episode Intro … 00:00:30

Mark Brown & Making Mindfulness Accessible … 00:01:15

Children are Innately Present … 7:08

Zen Pigs for Any Age … 00:12:25

How to Be Present & Compound Effect of Mindfulness … 00:16:40

Inserting Gratitude … 00:24:50

Flipping Kids to a Positive Outlook with Enjoyable, Peaceful Content … 00:30:20

Future of Zen Pigs … 00:35:10

Zen Pigs and Free Resources … 38:30

Episode Wrap up … 39:35

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Episode 170: Is It Appropriate To Discuss Your Mental Health With Your Child? Nov 08, 2021

This weeks question is from Elena,

“How do I talk to my child about my mental health issues? I struggle with depression and anxiety, both of which have been worse since the pandemic started. I know it impacts my child, but I am not sure how much to say, or whether to say anything at all. I don't want him to always be worried about me. I also don't want to give him problems by talking about these issues. I would love your thoughts on how to address it, if at all.”

The question of how to explain mental health to a child is a common one that I think a lot of parents wrestle with. In this episode, I will address when it is appropriate to talk about adult mental health issues with your children and how to approach the topic. There is no one way to approach this. The key is to address it in a developmentally appropriate way. Kids are very intuitive so ultimately you are helping them understand something they may already be perceiving. And in doing so they understand that parents have struggles too and it's ok to share your struggles with others. Throughout the episode, I provide several strategies to help guide you through this conversation.

You can submit a question by emailing us at support@drbeurkens.com with the subject line "Podcast Question."

Episode Intro … 00:00:30 Discus Adult Mental Health with Children …00:02:20 Kids Inherently Know When Parents Struggle … 00:04:50 How to talk to kids about Adult Mental Health … 00:08:00 Tailor Language in a Developmentally-Appropriate Way… 00:11:54 Keys to Address No Matter the Age … 00:15:55 Open Door Communication … 00:20:05 Episode Wrap up … 00:24:40

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Episode 169: How to Help Your Child Move Beyond Explosive Reactions and Crisis Mode Nov 03, 2021

My guest this week is Raun K. Kaufman, Autism thought leader and co-creator of the Autism Crisis Turnaround Protocol, author of the book Autism Breakthrough, the former CEO of Autism Treatment Center of America, and an international lecturer and graduate of the Ivy League's Brown University with a degree in Biomedical Ethics. His articles have been featured in journals, he has been interviewed by national and international media, and in addition to his work with families and educators for almost 25 years.

In this episode, Raun and I discuss ways we can support kids and young adults who are in what we might call crisis mode. Maybe they are struggling with extreme behaviors, explosive reactions, extreme overwhelm, and anxiety. They are not able to move forward in their lives as a result. And if you are parenting or working with someone in crisis, no doubt, you are feeling overwhelmed, anxious, and are struggling as well.

While many of the examples we discuss apply to those on the Autism Spectrum, you’ll realize that these strategies can really be applied to anyone you interact with on a regular basis. Seeing the world from someone else's experience opens up a lot of potential for building trust and learning what might be triggering their neuro crash. Learn more about Raun here.

Episode Intro … 00:00:30 Raun's background ... 00:03:00 Crisis defined ... 00:11:00 Trust deficits ... 00:19:20 Seven main causes of crisis ... 00:22:00 Recognizing signals of stress ... 00:28:00 7 Causes of a neuro crash ... 00:31:30 Autism crisis lifeline ... 00:39:10 Where to learn more ... 00:45:40

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Episode 168 Q&A: What To Do About Bed Wetting - So Your Child Can Stay Dry At Night Nov 01, 2021

This weeks question is from Sarah,

“I am struggling with how to handle nightly bedwetting with my six-year-old son. He was day-trained around three and a half years old, and that went quite well, but nighttime wetting has continued to happen. He'll go around 11:30pm, 3am, 6am. I tried for two months to transition him into a nighttime routine out of Pull-Ups, but it didn't work. He always would wake up soaked. I did all the tricks the doctors told me like bringing into the bathroom before bed, no drinks before bed, etc. I left him in Pull-Ups for two years and did notice that if he didn't have a bowel movement before bed, he seemed to wet far heavier. I am trying again now because he said he wants to get out of Pull-Ups, but waking him several times each night makes us both exhausted. Trying not to make a big deal out of this and stress him out over being wet as I know he can't help it, but it is hard to keep up with the laundry. What other things can I do or rule out to help with this issue and to help get them out of Pull-Ups?"

In this episode, I will address bedwetting—causes, ways to approach it, and ideas on how to resolve it so your child can stay dry at night.

You can submit a question by emailing us at support@drbeurkens.com with the subject line "Podcast Question."

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Episode 167: Answers to Anorexia—Personalized Care for a Brain-Based Illness Oct 27, 2021

My guest this week is Dr. James Greenblatt, he is a pioneer in the field of functional integrative medicine, a board-certified child and adult psychiatrist, and has treated patients since 1988. He received his medical degree and did his psychiatry residency at George Washington University and completed a Fellowship in Child and Adolescent Psychiatry at Johns Hopkins Medical School. He currently serves as the Chief Medical Officer at Walden Behavioral Care and an Assistant Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at Tufts University School of Medicine and Dartmouth College. Dr. Greenblatt has lectured internationally on the scientific evidence for nutritional interventions in psychiatry and mental illness. He is the author of seven books, and his latest book Answers To Anorexia is released right now, and we are excited about that. He is also the founder of Psychiatry Redefined, which is a really innovative educational platform dedicated to the transformation of psychiatry, and they offer online courses, webinars, and even fellowships for professionals.

In this episode, Dr. Greenblatt and I discuss his new book, Answers to Anorexia. Anorexia nervosa is on the rise, especially in young children, and the relapse and suicide rates are among the highest for psychiatric illnesses. We discuss warning signs, underlying causes, and effective treatment approaches.

Anorexia Affects All Age Groups

Anorexia nervosa is the most life-threatening of the psychiatric illnesses (highest rate of suicide)
Early intervention and treatment is critical
Increasing rates, especially in preteens and younger, but seen in all genders and races
Often starts in adolescence

What is Anorexia Nervosa?

Listed as one of the eating disorders; as a psychiatric diagnosis
Symptoms include distorted body image along with restrictive eating/weight loss
- The brain plays tricks on the body, where there is a complete distortion of reality
Scientists now can articulate that this is a brain-based illness, that the neurophysiological changes are different in those with anorexia however, this has not been translated into clinical care
Caregivers and professionals need to focus on a more empathic collaborative treatment model

Early Warning Signs & Risk Factors

Very high genetic component, whether it is a parent or an aunt/uncle
One of the most dramatic, well-proven risk factors is going on a vegan/vegetarian diet in puberty, certainly pre-puberty
- Any change in diet is usually the onset
- Literature showing that a vegan diet in adolescence with a genetic vulnerability is a very high risk for an eating disorder, poorer outcomes, and a higher relapse rate
- The restricting of those (animal-based) foods, which are particularly high in nutrients such as zinc and vitamin B12, are critical for puberty and one of the core deficiencies in anorexia nervosa

Treatments Historically Have Been Ineffective

Massive lack of proper training about eating disorders and nutrition for practitioners
For anorexia nervosa, there are no approved medications
- So every practitioner is making an educated guess as to what would be helpful for medication and/or therapy
Dr. Greenblatt’s thesis is it's a brain-based illness due to malnutrition, and without that nutritional repletion, therapy is often ineffective
High relapse rate especially since typically patients are released with no ongoing care
Lack of treatment centers puts a large time, financial, and stress burden on families to have to travel further
Insurance companies limit treatment
The highest risk of suicide of any psychiatric illnesses
- Not a lot of research as to why, but Dr Greenblatt’s theory is the relationship between depleted levels of essential fatty acids (EPA and DHA) and brain function

Low levels of those nutrients are associated with a higher risk of suicide

Proper Treatment and Prevention

First, need to address the (chronic) malnutrition and genetic vulnerability as a first red flag as well as changes in diet in early adolescence
All nutritional deficiencies of major nutrients affect brain function and brain distortion
Forcing a patient to eat during in inpatient care to stabilize weight while not addressing a nutrient-dense diet is not an effective solution

Key Nutrients Needed for Recovery

Zinc, especially during puberty
- Low zinc is related to loss of appetite and taste, poor digestion, depression, and sleep problems
Other essential nutrients: B vitamins, amino acids, and fatty acids
Treatment centers are not necessarily providing nutrient-dense foods or additional supplementation
Magnesium is one of the most common nutrient deficiencies in the U.S., and particularly in those with anxiety, mental health, sleep, or constipation
- Nutrient testing is not always helpful/accurately providing the full picture as most nutrients are found in multiple parts of the body, not just blood

Where to Start for Support

Schedule a nutritional augmentation consultation
- Try in the fields of functional or integrative medicine as they are typically trained across multiple disciplines and are either well-versed in nutrition or work closely with nutritional professionals
Early interventions with personalized care/therapy and dietitian are critical
- Psychotherapy, so that children and adolescents are feeling valued and heard
Using food as a therapeutic approach along with targeted supplementation and nutrients; nutrition as being profoundly important in even some of these most severe clinical presentations.
Consider any underlying medical contributors such as undiagnosed celiac, PANDAS, etc.
Stay curious and keep asking good questions
Genetic testing can be helpful

Answers to Anorexia

Book: Answers to Anorexia
- An overview of the lack of a current effective model and a proposal around a nutritional repletion model
- Available on Amazon.com and jamesgreenblattmd.com
For clinicians, therapists, nurse practitioners, and psychiatrists there is an educational platform (psychiatryredefined.org) with hundreds of hours of content for functional medicine for mental health and functional psychiatry where they can learn a model to dig deeper

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Episode 166 Q&A: How To Advocate For Your Child When School Accommodations Aren’t Being Met Oct 25, 2021

This week’s question is from Amy,

“I need help understanding the purpose of carpet time in the elementary school setting. My son has ADHD and sensory processing disorder and struggles with carpet time, because he has to sit close to other kids, and he can't move because it's such tight quarters. I have been fighting for him to be able to sit elsewhere during carpet time since preschool, but the teachers just aren't willing to budge. Is carpet time something that is taught to people studying elementary education as being extremely important or something? I just don't get the point of it, if it makes it so the child can't listen and learn. Any suggestions are welcome.”

In this episode, I will discuss the best ways to work with teachers and administrators when you need to make accommodation requests for your child. There are many reasons that accommodations go unmet in the classroom and it’s important to be aware of what might be going on. Taking an empathetic and collaborative approach is best.

As the parent, you have the right to continue to advocate for your child and go up the chain of command once you’ve established that the teacher is unwilling to cooperate after a collaborative conversation. There are collaborative ways to maximize learning opportunities that benefit the entire classroom, the school administrators need to be willing to work that out with you. Ultimately if they are unwilling to meet a reasonable request it may be time to move on to another school.

You can submit a question by emailing us at support@drbeurkens.com with the subject line "Podcast Question."

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Is Carpet Time Essential?

It is not necessary or educationally valuable for a child to have to sit in a group on the carpet during any kind of instructional activity
A child is not going to suffer in their childhood or in their adulthood if they sit somewhere else and aren't with the crowd on the carpet

Trying to force kids to sit and receive instruction in ways that are not productive for them, such as carpet time, is actually far more harmful than making some accommodations

Teachers Denying Accommodations (During Carpet Time)

First identify what the goal of carpet/circle time is: is the goal to learn to sit on a carpet for a set period of time (of course not!) or is it a skill/learning/direction objective?
- This may sound ridiculous, but adults can be stubborn with their teaching approaches
We should be wide open to any type of seating arrangement that is going to allow a particular child to benefit from the instruction and achieve the goal of what is happening during that time (e.g., teaching a skill, receiving direction, etc.)
Ask the teacher or the adults involved: “Help me understand what is the actual goal of this activity/this lesson/this time during the day?”

Acknowledge Control Issues May be a Factor

A sensitive subject, but when a teacher or staff member absolutely refuses to make basic accommodations, it often is related to the adult having issues with control
- From the educator side (and as parents), it may be triggering past experiences such as not being heard or disrespected
- In the teacher’s mind they are likely thinking “I told you to do this, therefore, it's important that you do it and not create problems, not do something different than what you were told, not need something else. You have to do this because you have to learn to do what you're told even when you don't want to, and even when it actually doesn't work for you”
- Consciously or subconsciously, when the students comply, it reduces teachers anxiety and helps them feel more comfortable and in control
- It requires that we, as adults, get past our own issues of control, anxiety about what would happen if we deviate from the “norm”, and check in with why we are resisting the willingness to consider an accommodation—is it a past trigger and does the rigidity benefit the child and the classroom?
Have empathy for educators, just as we have similar experiences at home parenting, but also have accountability to make changes

Are the Educators Being Micromanaged?

Are administrators or others higher up very critical to what’s happening in the classroom?
We need to respect individual teachers' abilities to make decisions in the best interest of students and not micromanage or have policies being made by those far removed from the classroom
Recognize the overwhelm that teachers and classroom staff face due to the really big systems-level issues/politics and the under-supporting of education in this country and this absolutely affects their demeanor

Supporting the Child and Teacher

Ask “How can we best accomplish this/maximize learning ability for all the kids in this setting?”
Kids need to learn to follow instructions, they need to learn to respect their teachers and other adults and to engage with them in appropriate ways, but we need to make sure that the instruction and the demands and the requirements are appropriate and workable for the kids as well

In these situations, it’s important for educators to approach these topics through the eyes and perspective of the kids
For example, carpet time could be problematic for children who need movement to learn, have sensory processing issues and the carpet is bothersome, they may have joint issues, etc.

Specific Steps for Parents

Approach it with a collaborative mindset
Start with the adult or teacher that is involved first. Schedule a meeting or send an email sharing your observations, concerns, questions
- If it cannot be resolved, then it is appropriate to go to the administrator in that building: principal, counselor etc., or If you have a child who has a section 504 accommodation plan or an IEP use those processes to have your concerns heard
- - Make your requests known in written form and continue up the chain of command in the school or district to make your concerns heard and have your child's needs met
- In the end, parents have choices, if nothing is working, a different educational setting or different situation altogether may be best to meet their child's needs and reduce the stress/difficulty that they are constantly having to deal with at the school

Episode 165: How to Use Breathwork to Lower Stress and Anxiety in Kids Oct 20, 2021

My guest this week is Campbell Will, a physical therapist and breathwork specialist from Australia, who works around the world, introducing people to the power of the breath. He's worked in a variety of clinical settings, from the ICU to the sporting field, from young to old and everyone in between. His passion is teaching the principles of breathwork, and how it can be used in all situations to better regulate the body, the mind, and emotions.

In this episode, Campbell and I discuss the benefits of breathwork, why it’s important to our health, how it can help children, and specific breathing techniques you can try right now. Most of us take breathing for granted since it just sort of happens on its own. What most people don’t realize is the way you breathe determines your physiological state. There are some easy-to-try breathing exercises in this episode that I encourage parents to practice with their children! The sooner children learn to use their breath to regulate their response to stress, the better off they will be in life. Learn more about Campbell here.

Understanding how to use your breath is your best tool

It's free
It's nearly instantaneous
You don't need any equipment
You don't need any special know-how

Why breathwork is an important tool for our health

Breath is really the remote control of what's going on in our autonomic nervous system
Breathing is both automatic and under conscious control
- Mostly, breathing is unconscious throughout the day
- When you think about the breath and try breathing in through your nose and slowly out through your mouth, you have brought the breath under conscious control
By taking your breathing under control you can grab ahold of that autonomic process and direct the nervous system in the direction that you want to go

Breaking down breathing

Sympathetic nervous system = fight or flight
- As soon as we breathe with our mouth, we are more in the sympathetic
- As soon as we breathe high into our chest or shoulders, it's going to be more of a sympathetic trigger
- For example - a panic attack is very inhale-dominant, it's in and out of the mouth, it's high in the chest, and it's fast
Parasympathetic = rest, repair, recover, digest
- Breathing through the nose, down into the lower part of the chest and diaphragm or belly breathing helps put you in a parasympathetic state
- Breathing slowly and emphasizing the exhale also helps put you in a parasympathetic state
These two systems kind of work in opposition. We are never both at the same time

Difference between stress physiology and psychology

Managing your psychological stress symptoms without addressing the physiological symptoms will not yield much of a result
You have to pay attention to and wrangle in your physiological state in order to fully calm yourself to a parasympathetic state

Oxygen and Carbon Dioxide

We have to have the presence of carbon dioxide that allows the oxygen to move from the red blood cell into the cell of the body, where it then goes to the mitochondria and produces energy
While nose breathing is preferred, some people may experience discomfort with having a little more carbon dioxide present in the body, that’s the feeling of not enough air or feeling like there’s not enough oxygen
- Oxygen level is actually going up and you are making more oxygen available. It's just that your chemo senses are a little bit sensitive

How to help kids breath better

Try this exercise - “Take a sip of water, and then see if you can walk around the house or do some laps around the yard” this can help them get into the habit of “Hey, I can breathe”
If there’s an immediate need to swallow the water, that shows that there's a little bit of a sensitivity there
Pop the tip of the tongue behind the top teeth, this will encourage them to seal the lips
A tip for retraining a child to breathe through their nose instead of their mouth at night - place a very thin strip of micropore tape vertically across the lips. NOT taping the mouth closed but just the very front of the lips
Try BOX breathing - breathe in for a count of three, hold the breath for a count of three, breathe out for a count of three, and hold the breath for a count of three
Practice breathing softly
Practice an extended exhale by having them blow a mobile to make the hanging parts move or blowing a balloon or feather across a table
Try a double inhale with a prolonged exhale
- Breathing comfortably full in through the nose, pause for a moment, and then sneak another breath in, and then a long easy exhale

Follow Campbell

Website
Instagram - @breathbodytherapy
Facebook

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Episode 164 Q&A: How to Handle Negative Feelings Towards Your Children Oct 18, 2021

This weeks question is from Neerja,

“Can you help me with how to handle negative thoughts about my child? I'm getting very frustrated and tired of dealing with his challenges. I often think negatively about him and really hate myself for doing that. Any suggestions as to how to deal with this?”

In this episode, I will address how to deal with the shame and guilt parents experience when they have negative thoughts about their children. First off, please know you are not alone. Second, the strategies in this episode will help you deal with those feelings better and may even prevent them from happening at all.

You can submit a question by emailing us at support@drbeurkens.com with the subject line "Podcast Question."

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Parents Have a Wide Range of Thoughts About their Kids

It is completely normal to have negative thoughts about your child with regard to things they are doing or the challenges you are dealing with, especially if the child has extra challenges
- Difficult behaviors are exhausting and can feel frustrating and unfair
- You are not a bad or unloving parent for feeling these things sometimes about your child, even if those feelings are really uncomfortable feelings like anger
- It's real life, and it's much healthier to acknowledge it than it is to try to deny it because the feelings and the things that we are willing to acknowledge become the things that we are able to work with/improve ourselves

Separate Your Child from the Behaviors & Challenges

Your child and their behavior/challenges are 2 different things
If you step back and reflect, typically parents are not actually having negative thoughts and feelings about the child themselves
A mantra that works well around this for us to remind ourselves as parents is, "I love my child, but sometimes I don't like him or his behavior very much."

Constant Negative Feelings & Time to Recharge

If negative feelings coming up when you have to deal with your child, when you have to face certain things during the day, or it is happening frequently, that is a sign to us as adults that we need to have more opportunities to take breaks from our kids
When we notice that those frustrated, angry, sort of impatient thoughts and feelings are coming up, we are having a lot of this negativity around our kids, that's our brain waving little flags, saying, "Hey, we need to be taking more of a break here."
Be intentional about stepping away and recharging your batteries
- It may mean leaving the house, but for many, it could be letting them watch a show, placing them in their room to play alone, or putting them to bed a little earlier so you can have time for yourself
- Get creative about it. Don't shut down to the idea and say "Well, that's not possible”, It absolutely can be done.
We need to make sure that we are not letting our cup get too full with that frustration and negativity; finding an opportunity to let some of that drain out so that we can keep that cup from overflowing on a regular basis
- It's good for us and it's good for our kids

Intentional Stops in the Day

Be intentional several times a day. Just stopping, putting your hand on your own heart, taking a few deep breaths and remind yourself out loud or in your head mantras such as:
- “He's a good kid and having a hard time.” Or “I’m a good parent. I'm doing the best that I can”
Spotlighting the positives throughout the day, both for your child and for yourself
- Our brains are Velcro for negative things and it's a lot harder to be aware and focus on the positive things, particularly with our kids
Try daily journaling, make a running list on your phone, or sharing positives at mealtime as a family as well
- Kids hold onto “bad” too, so it is very beneficial to have them participate

When You Feel Beyond Frustrated

When parents are feeling things aren’t improving with all their efforts, try looking for different or additional support and approaches
- Too often the focus becomes that the problem is the child rather than the need to look for different systems, tools, strategies, or professionals.
- What is best for one child or family may not work for another—Seek alternatives
- Perhaps the true underlying causes of their challenges have not been addressed
Resource: “Digging Deeper Workshop” at drnicoleworkshops.com
- Helps parents have a better picture of what areas are probably contributing to the symptoms and the challenges a child is experiencing, so that parents can seek out the right kinds of interventions, approaches, and treatments

Recognizing Our Emotions as a Parent

Honestly check in with yourself to see how your ability is to regulate your own emotions and behaviors
- Kids are only one part of your life
Do you have the tools and strategies to support your mental health or issues you need to address?
All parents struggle at times with negative thoughts or questioning their ability as a parent—acknowledge when this occurs, don’t be ashamed, and seek out support/a support group, etc.
As parents, when we are feeling like we've got our feet underneath us more/a bit more together/managing ourselves and our inner and outer worlds just more effectively, that goes a long way to helping us have a more balanced or better outlook on what's going on with our kids and the challenges that we face each day with them

Episode 163: How To Prepare Kids For Life Beyond High School - College, Workforce & Other Alternatives Oct 13, 2021

My guests this week are Cindy Muchnick and Jen Curtis. Here is a little bit about each of their backgrounds. Cindy Muchnick is a graduate of Stanford University and has been working in education for the past 25 plus years as a former assistant director of college admission, high school teacher, educational consultant, and author of five other education-related books. She speaks professionally to parents, students, teachers, and business groups on topics around study skills, the adolescent journey, college admission, and now the Parents Compass Movement.

Jen Curtis earned a BA from UCLA and an MSW from USC and has been an educational consultant and professional speaker for the past 12 years. As the owner of FutureWise Consulting, she has worked with hundreds of students on every aspect of the college admission process. She's particularly passionate about empowering teens to approach life with intention and educating parents about navigating their parent compass.

In this episode, we are talking about preparing kids for life beyond high school, particularly if they're thinking about college or some sort of post-secondary training. But even if they aren't, you are going to get a lot of great tips and ideas around how to support kids in this phase of life.

We’ll also be answering questions like how can we as parents best prepare our kids for education in life beyond high school? How can we help them strike the balance of realistic but also ambitious goals? And how can we manage ourselves and our feelings so that we're not pushing them into something that might not be the best path for them? Perhaps the most important message here is to start empowering your kids at a young age to speak for themselves, advocate for themselves and express their own individual interests. Learn more about Cindy and Jen here.

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Parents should STOP doing this …

Speak over their kids, answer for their kids, and not let their kids have their own opinions
- This mostly happens unintentionally
Going straight to administrators or teachers, before letting kids advocate for themselves
Protecting kids from feeling emotions, disappointments, failures
Putting your own interests and opinions for what they “should” be doing first
Doing all the planning and organizing

Where parents have the opportunity to do better

You have the opportunity as the parent of a younger child to be aware of and think about how you want to nurture their independence and individuality
It’s not too late for any parent to start empowering their children, young adults or even grown adults
We have a lot of opportunities in the growing up years to put these things into practice with being aware of how much we're inserting ourselves, versus allowing our kids to have a voice, being aware of how much we might be rescuing in a way that isn't going to lead them well
When we don't focus on who the child uniquely is, often we're inserting our own biases into who we want them to be, and it really kind of can get in the way of us parenting authentically

Micromanaging your kids

Two categories of older kids, young adults who experience micromanaging by their parents or caretaker
- One is the category who don't need that, but the parents think they do and are doing it anyway, or the parents are doing it out of their own need to be needed
- Two is the category of young people where parents are continuing to insert themselves and do that because if they didn't, their young adult kids truly don't have the skills to manage and deal with many aspects of their life
Parents may need to step back and find ways outside of the higher education environment for their kids to develop life skills so that they can be successful there
- Basic food skills like cooking, grocery shopping and nutrition
- Basic financial skills
- Basic laundry skills
- Basic skills around organization and planning
- Social awareness
- Social skills

Alternatives to a 4yr. College

Community college
Workforce
Gap years
Military
Internships
Research
Volunteer opportunities all over the world to find ways to give back.
Immersive experiences to learn languages or to learn instruments
Give time to a religious cause
Apprenticeships for students who want to learn a skill like woodworking, hairstyling, or creative arts

Ways to show your child you believe in them

Let your kids advocate for their grades and even go speak to their teachers
Let your kids pay for things
Let your kids speak up about how they are feeling at the doctor
Let them take charge and make decisions when planning big life events like college or a trip, etc.
Let them talk first, let them self advocate first, and then you can fill in the blanks if need be
Give your kids the freedom to have their space
- Have freedom to be creative on their own walls with what inspires them
- Instilling in kids from early on that “You are capable, of course you can choose what you would want to put on your walls. I trust that you can have an opinion about that and figure that out.”
Show them we like who they are and we're trying to understand who they are, and to ask those questions that allow them to share their interests with us

Follow Cindy and Jen

Episode 162: How To Inspire Healthy Eating For Teenagers And Kids Oct 11, 2021

This weeks question is from Meg,

“I am needing advice for how to handle nutrition and eating with my 13-year-old daughter. She's got anxiety and attention issues, and we've known for a long time that food impacts her symptoms. When she was younger, it was easier to control what she ate. Now that she's older, it's become more of a power struggle. She's eating and drinking all kinds of things that are causing problems for her, and I worry about her weight as well. We just seem to be arguing about it all the time at home, and I'm not sure how to get her to listen. Any advice?"

In this episode, I will address how parents can help kids make healthier food choices. It all starts with how you are communicating with your child or teen. If the trust and good communication aspects aren't there, it's likely nothing will change. When you listen to one another and build trust, they usually respond by being more open to change. Modeling what you hope to see in your kids and teens is very effective. Kids notice what we do. And finally, in this episode, I will provide specific strategies on how to raise healthy eaters at any age.

You can submit a question by emailing us at support@drbeurkens.com with the subject line "Podcast Question."

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The Controllable Aspects of Kids’ Diets

Focus on what we can control as caregivers such as the food we purchase and bring home
Try to stay factual, neutral, and not let our emotions or future-oriented thinking, fears, anxieties take over
Kids, even in their teen years, can struggle with regulating their emotions, especially for intense/or sensitive topics such as food
When caregivers are neutral rather than in an agitated state, the information is more likely to get in, even if the child doesn't acknowledge it in the moment

Modeling Healthy Food Habits is the Most Impactful

Be aware of what your child is hearing and internalizing from adults, peers, and on social media/TV about food, eating, fitting in, body image, etc.
Be mindful of how you act and speak about your own body, weight, food choices, etc.
Focus on what you can control by modeling
- Not having a conversation with them about it when we're doing this
- Not trying to force them to eat what we're eating -We're simply being a model of how to make those decisions and how we're thinking about those things (ex. when I eat X, I notice I feel Y)
- Staying away from black and white thinking around “good vs bad” foods
  - It can create anxiety, stress, and power struggles

Weight Concerns and Kids

It is critical that we avoid talking about food and eating as related to weight for any child, especially teens
- This can set them up for dysfunctional thoughts and feelings around food and around their bodies (ex. diet culture and restriction)
Instead, focus on food as providing information, fuel, and building blocks for our brains and bodies, and the physical and mental health components/effects

Are you Really Listening to Your Kids?

Important to acknowledge and empathize with how they feel, even when we don't agree with them
- ex. "Yeah, I get it, it feels frustrating. You know what? I remember feeling frustrated when I was your age, too. It's okay to feel that way, I get it."
- When an opportunity arises that they initiate, spotlight (in a productive way) the food-body connection involving any symptom struggles they might be experiencing (ex. they are complaining about acne but they have been eating a lot of sugar and fast food)
- Use that as an opportunity to listen, hear their frustrations, and what they're experiencing, and also help them make some connections with things, both in their eating and their lifestyle
- Casually make the observations and open up those conversations by raising possibilities
  - Not doing the thing that's going to shut it down right away, which is, "Well, of course, you're breaking out because XYZ”
  - Instead, ask them what they think might be going on

What We Can Control with Their Food

Parents need to focus on what is being brought into the home, groceries, availability/timing, where you choose to eat out, etc., and not micromanaging what goes on outside the home (exceptions for children with dietary requirements or special needs).
Do not become the “food police” as they can make it much more likely that they are going to sneak food, not be open, not tell you what's going on, or develop anxiety and distrust around these things
- This can lead to massive power struggles and breakdowns in our relationship with our kids
Remember parent roles are to provide the food and when the child’s role is to decide if they will eat and how much

Development and Appetite Shifts

Infancy and adolescence are significant periods of growth and require more food
Suggest that all families have foods readily available that kids can access at any time if they're hungry such as fruits and vegetables and nuts.

Cultivate Open Communication with Kids

Be a safe place for them to bring questions, observations, concerns
Keep putting things out there and let them know that you always want to answer any questions that they have, hear how they're feeling about things related to food, meals, etc.
Remember being open to hearing and discussing doesn’t mean you necessarily agree
- It’s about acknowledgment
- They really appreciate feeling respected in that way and feeling acknowledged

Better Brain and Behavior Diet Workshop for More Support

I cover food, nutrition, eating approaches, tools, and strategies to implement as the parent, but also for the entire family
There is an emphasis on eating to best support our kid's brains, which then helps to support their behavior, learning, mood, anxiety
Feedback from current parents that having their older kids watch some of the videos is extremely helpful for them to hear it from somebody who is not their parent
Visit drnicoleworkshops.com

Episode 161: Why "Unschooling" Could Be The Right Educational Style For Your Child Oct 06, 2021

My guest this week is Iris Chen, she's an author, unschooling mom, deconstructing tiger parent, and founder of theuntigering movement. As an advocate for peaceful parenting and educational freedom for children, her mission is to inspire generational and cultural transformation, especially among Asian communities. She spent 16 years living overseas in China, the land of the tiger parent, but now resides in her native California with her husband and two sons.

In this episode, Iris and I discuss meeting the educational needs of all kids, including kids with special needs, in-non traditional ways. Specifically, with an educational model called unschooling, which is gaining in popularity in recent years. It’s important to raise awareness about different educational styles so that parents and children don’t feel stuck in their current school system and blindly follow whatever they are told. Thankfully there are many different educational styles that fit kids’ personalities, interests, and challenges better. Learn more about here.

Episode Highlights

What is a Tiger parent?

Equates to very strict Chinese parenting (but can also be a term for any strict parents)
A lot of rules, very authoritarian, high expectations, particularly in the area of academics

What is untigering?

Moving away from very authoritarian, controlling, coercive parenting, but also redefining ideas about the value of formal education and academics and the push to succeed and achieve in those ways

Being a controlling parent is not healthy for your kids

Parents of kids with special needs, whether that is neurodevelopmental issues, mental health issues, learning challenges, whatever it might be, experience an extra set of fears and concerns, and there can be even more of a drive to control or to make kids conform to a certain way of doing things, out of love and a desire for them to fit in, to have a successful future
It is important in those situations for parents to step back and recognize what our fears are around this
How do I support the child I have, who this child actually is, which includes all of their amazing strengths and qualities, as well as their challenges? Not trying to make this child fit into a box

Opting out of conventional thinking

There is this collective reimagining going on right now that is so important to the future of education
Education most certainly does NOT need to be done in four walls, sitting down all day long
The educational model we choose for our kids, comprises a lot of their childhood daytime life, we should choose based on all our options not just the one everyone else does
We need to ask, "Is this serving me?" Because an education is supposed to serve the child, it is supposed to empower the child and give them the skills
If it's not serving the child, why are we still doing it? So are we serving the system? Or is the system there to serve us? If we're just saying yes to whatever they're asking us to do, we're not questioning it, it's not an intentional choice
One of the most compelling arguments in support of parents looking at different options educationally, is the research on educational outcomes in the current school system
- A large percentage of kids are not coming out of the current school system with great success
- We’re also seeing a generation of kids now in young adulthood with more serious mental health issues than ever before
When we think about parenting kids who are autistic, kids who have ADHD, kids with mental health issues, behavioral challenges. All the more need to look at what is going to constitute success, health, well being, an engaged quality of life for them in adulthood?
- It may not at all be the picture that we have in our mind of traditionally what's done, and that need to broaden that understanding

What is unschooling?

Living, loving and learning with our children outside the construct of compulsory schooling
Child-led, no homework, no curriculum, no particular subjects, no strict schedule
Unschooling really opens up a lot of options for reducing kids' anxiety about school or about learning, and by using their strengths and using their interests, it allows a much better entry point into helping them grow in their skills, in their knowledge, because we're approaching it in a way that doesn't automatically heighten their anxiety and create a lot of distress for them

How do children become educated with unschooling?

They are intrinsically-motivated, they do have the skills they need and the drive that they need in order to pursue their individual interests
There is a lot of parenting support. Exploring outside, reading at the library, going to museums, these are ways children can build knowledge
By giving kids time and room to play and lead activities it's actually supporting their own developmental pace too, which again, is really important for neurodivergent kids, for kids with different kinds of processing systems in their brain, to be able to operate at a pace that supports their own development, as opposed to constantly being pushed

Life provides opportunities for learning

People learn because we are made to learn
We don't need school in order to do that
There's so much learning that needs to happen outside the mind, outside the intellect, where the school environment doesn't really allow for that
- We need to learn how to listen to our bodies, how to rest and engage with nature, how to meet our our needs to survive in the world, like cook and do laundry and pay your taxes and all those things
For kids who have more significant neurodevelopmental, behavioral, anxiety kinds of issues, traditional classrooms often are not the best place for them to be doing the kinds of learning and development and growth

Follow Iris Chen

Website
Instagram - @Untigering
FB - @Untigering
Twitter - @Untigering

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Episode 160 Q&A: 5 Key Food Strategies to Improve ADHD and Behavior Challenges Oct 04, 2021

This weeks question is from Monica,

“My seven-year-old son has been diagnosed with ADHD, and I do recognize that the diagnosis describes the symptoms he has: poor attention, especially in school, problems managing his emotions and behaviors, he doesn't think before he acts a lot of the time. But he's also very smart and quite talented with art, and he really enjoys playing sports. I'm considering all of the treatment options, and want to try as many non-medication supports as I can before deciding if we want to try prescription medication. I've heard about food changes that can improve symptoms of ADHD, but I'm not sure what information to believe or really where to start. I trust you as a source of accurate information, so I'd love your thoughts on this.”

In this episode, I will address the important role nutrition and diet play in ADHD or any type of behavior challenges. Plus you'll learn my 5 key food strategies to start improving ADHD symptoms. You may want to take notes.

You can submit a question by emailing us at support@drbeurkens.com with the subject line "Podcast Question."

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Episode 159: Movement and Fun Can Help The Brain Focus, Learn, and Retain Better Sep 29, 2021

My guest this week is Trent McEntire. For more than two decades, he's been helping people gain back their mobility, a story that he knows well. Born with a mild form of cerebral palsy, Trent experienced pain and stiffness every day from the time he was a child. However, his creative problem solving abilities kicked in, and he figured out ways to improve his movement capacity to participate in his love for sports, and then went on to discover that how he repaired his own body was the foundation for what would be his life's work. He attended Western Michigan University where he received a BFA in dance, requiring studies in movement science and training.

Trent pursued a career as a professional dancer, where he performed on stages throughout the country and abroad. As a movement professional, Trent has laid a path where he could help others who have movement limitations. He has helped many people move past their most debilitating situations, and today, his mission is to get his methods and tools out to everyone who needs help. The Fire Up Your Brain program was created as a fun, engaging, affordable way to support his mission.

In this episode, Trent and I discuss ways to fire up our kids' brains so they can learn focus, move, and live better. Trent has used his personal experiences with cerebral palsy and movement education to figure out creative fun methods for improving processing, mobility, and so much more in kids and adults with a wide variety of challenges. He's going to share specific training methods we can use to support brain-body connectivity and improved functioning across the board. Removing shame from the equation and focusing on helping kids' brains through activities they love is where the most effective brain growth happens. Learn more about Trent McEntire here.

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Episode Q&A 158:How to Handle Tantrums: Strategies for Parents and Children Sep 27, 2021

This weeks question is from Nicole,

“I have an almost-four-year-old daughter who has started having major tantrums. She hasn't had behavior issues like this previously, or at least outbursts to this level in frequency. I understand this can be a part of her age, but it feels out of hand and I'm at a loss. It seems like any little thing can set her off, and it can be up to 1-2 hours of rage and screaming. There seems to be nothing that can get her to move through it until she just comes down by herself. We’ve tried everything we can think of: Gotten angry, tried consequences, been patient, given opportunities, we've tried ignoring, separating from the situation. She’s currently an only child and I'm pregnant with my second, so I wonder if that could have something to do with the massive behavior shift. My question is: What can cause a huge behavior shift at this age, and what are the strategies for handling this?” “

In this episode, I will address tantrums: what might be underlying causes, what to do when nothing seems to be working, how parents can overcome frustration, as well as in the moment and long-term strategies.

You can submit a question by emailing us at support@drbeurkens.com with the subject line "Podcast Question."

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Episode 157: How To Help Kids On The Autism Spectrum Build On Their Strengths And Interests Sep 22, 2021

My guests this week are Dr. Temple Grandin and Dr. Debra Moore. Here is a bit about them:

Dr. Temple Grandin is a Professor of Animal Science at Colorado State University. She had no language until age four, and good teachers and her mother helped her develop her strengths. She has a successful career as both a designer of livestock handling systems and as a scientific researcher. She also lectures widely on her experiences with autism. She has written many books, some of them include Emergence, Labeled Autistic, Thinking In Pictures, and The Autistic Brain.

Dr. Debra Moore is a psychologist with extensive experience helping children, teens, and adults on the autism spectrum. She practiced for over 30 years in the Greater Sacramento area. During that time, she served as president of the Sacramento Valley Psychology Association and Director of Fall Creek Counseling Associates. She co-authored The Loving Push: How Parents and Professionals Can Help Spectrum Kids Become Successful Adults with her co author Temple Grandin. Their second book together is out right now and it's called Navigating Autism: Nine Mindsets For Helping Kids On the Spectrum

In this episode, we discuss how parents and professionals can best support kids on the autism spectrum, specifically the mindsets that support positive outcomes for kids. Dr. Temple Grandin shares her perspective as an autistic adult, and Dr. Debra Moore shares her perspective as a psychologist who spent her career working with autistic kids and young adults. Learn more about Temple and Debra.

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Episode 56 Q&A: How to Handle Crying, Running Away, and Low Frustration Tolerance at School Sep 20, 2021

This weeks question is from Carla,

“I have a student who gives up and runs away or cries if he doesn't win a game, or if a task is too difficult for him. His parents separated a year ago, and he suppresses this experience with all of his might. How can I help him when he reacts like this?”

In this episode, I will address how teachers can handle emotional upset with their students. I will discuss what is happening internally with kids when they have emotional outbursts, and how homelife and stressors can greatly affect them even if they don’t talk about it. As always, I will provide you with in-the-moment strategies to diffuse the situation and long-term approaches to support more regulated emotions.

You can submit a question by emailing us at support@drbeurkens.com with the subject line "Podcast Question."

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Episode 155: Why You Might Want To Consider Homeschooling For 90 Minutes A Day Sep 15, 2021

My guest this week is Kelly Edwards, She's the creator of the 90-Minute School Day, a lifestyle approach to education. The 90-Minute School Day method connects children with learning in their natural environment: At home with their family. It's designed for kids at an educational level of Pre-K through sixth grade. Kelly is passionate about home education, connecting families through attachment, learning as a lifestyle and helping children and parents identify their purpose. Kelly's entering her seventh year as a homeschool mom. She lives in the Shenandoah valley of West Virginia with her husband and three girls ages, 13, 6, and 3. Nice spread of ages there. She's a licensed foster parent, successful entrepreneur and community citizen. She uses her personal and professional experiences to guide the homeschooling parent with a framework and system to overcome the overwhelm that affects each of us.

In this episode, Kelly and I discuss some amazing benefits of homeschooling. Before you run away after being traumatized from schooling at home during the pandemic, know that this is completely different. That was crisis schooling NOT homeschooling. We’re talking 90 minutes a day about 4 days per week max.

I have found both as a parent with my own kids, as well as a professional working with kids with lots of different types of needs, homeschooling really can be the best, most supportive educational option for some kids. It lowers the stress around education and schooling significantly for some kids and parents, but you really need to have the intel on what homeschooling actually is, how it works best, the different ways to do it, how to make it work for you in a way that doesn't add to the stress of your life which is why I invited Kelly Edwards on the podcast today to tell us all about it. Learn more about Kelly Edwards here.

Episode 154 Q&A: What To Do When Multiple Diagnoses and Treatments Don't Lead to Solutions Sep 13, 2021

This weeks question is from Mark and Josie:

“Our son has had challenges since he was an infant. He has never slept well, he's a fairly picky eater, easily upset, and has no frustration tolerance. His behaviors have steadily gotten more challenging as he's gotten older, he's now 10. He's smart and can do academic work for the most part at school, but struggles with his behavior there. He's also pretty difficult to get along with and doesn't have friends because of that. We've brought him to a lot of different professionals over the years and have been referred to various places for counseling, medication, social skills groups, and other kinds of things.

He has been given several diagnoses: ADHD, ODD, DMDD anxiety, and even ASD has been mentioned, but nothing really seems to fit. None of the recommendations have helped improve the challenges very much. We are at a point of feeling very frustrated and overwhelmed, as he's getting older and we really don't know how to help him. Is more counseling the answer to work on some coping skills? Are there other medications to try? We're open to any suggestions and appreciate your insight.” “

In this episode, I will address what to do when you hit a roadblock with your child’s health; when multiple practitioners, diagnoses (or zero diagnoses), and treatments don't lead to solutions for your child’s behavioral or developmental issues, and how to start with a fresh perspective to get to the root cause. In my 25 years of practice, I’ve learned that there is always hope. I've always been able to find one, if not several areas, where we can really start to impact, change, and see progress. It’s time to dig deeper and connect the dots! Visit www.DrNicoleWorkshops.com to sign up.

You can submit a question by emailing us at support@drbeurkens.com with the subject line "Podcast Question."

Episode 154 Q&A: What To Do When Multiple Diagnoses and Treatments Don't Lead to Solutions Sep 13, 2021

This weeks question is from Mark and Josie:

“Our son has had challenges since he was an infant. He has never slept well, he's a fairly picky eater, easily upset, and has no frustration tolerance. His behaviors have steadily gotten more challenging as he's gotten older, he's now 10. He's smart and can do academic work for the most part at school, but struggles with his behavior there. He's also pretty difficult to get along with and doesn't have friends because of that. We've brought him to a lot of different professionals over the years and have been referred to various places for counseling, medication, social skills groups, and other kinds of things.

He has been given several diagnoses: ADHD, ODD, DMDD anxiety, and even ASD has been mentioned, but nothing really seems to fit. None of the recommendations have helped improve the challenges very much. We are at a point of feeling very frustrated and overwhelmed, as he's getting older and we really don't know how to help him. Is more counseling the answer to work on some coping skills? Are there other medications to try? We're open to any suggestions and appreciate your insight.” “

In this episode, I will address what to do when you hit a roadblock with your child’s health; when multiple practitioners, diagnoses (or zero diagnoses), and treatments don't lead to solutions for your child’s behavioral or developmental issues, and how to start with a fresh perspective to get to the root cause. In my 25 years of practice, I’ve learned that there is always hope. I've always been able to find one, if not several areas, where we can really start to impact, change, and see progress. It’s time to dig deeper and connect the dots! Visit www.DrNicoleWorkshops.com to sign up.

You can submit a question by emailing us at support@drbeurkens.com with the subject line "Podcast Question."

Episode 153: How to Handle Siblings Fighting and Drama Sep 08, 2021

My guest this week is Dr. Dawn Huebner. She is a psychologist, parent coach, and the author of 10 books for children, including perennial bestsellers What To Do When You Worry Too Much and Outsmarting Worry, another recent work, Something Bad Happened to provide support for children, learning about problems around the world, while her newest, The Sibling Survival Guide speaks with warmth and humor to children struggling to get along. Her books are practical and relatable, selling well over a million copies in 23 languages. She's been featured on a host of news and information outlets and frequently interviewed by popular parenting magazines.

In this episode, Dr. Dawn Huebner and I discuss The Sibling Survival Guide. What often drives sibling conflict, when to intervene or stay out of it, and how to handle it in the moment without inadvertently making things worse. We will discuss how to stop tattling. And we will get into the nuances of what to do when families have children with behavioral, emotional, or social communication kinds of challenges. This episode is packed with practical tips for how parents can respond to sibling conflict in ways that are helpful immediately and in the long-term.

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Episode 152 Q&A: What To Do When A Child Is Constantly Interrupting You (and Becomes Aggressive) Sep 06, 2021

This weeks question is from Nana,

“My four-year-old daughter hits, climbs on people's bodies, screams, and does all kinds of physical behavior when she wants my attention. This happens whenever I'm talking with someone besides her. Sometimes she'll even scratch or hit me. I'm not sure about the best way to handle this.”

In this episode, I will address the insistent and sometimes physically aggressive behavior that kids exhibit when they want our attention. We will talk through what is normal, how to proactively address it, what to do in the moment, and long-term ideas to work on for behavior change.

You can submit a question by emailing us at support@drbeurkens.com with the subject line "Podcast Question."

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Episode 151: Using PLAY (for all ages) to Make Parenting Easier Sep 01, 2021

My guest this week is Sarah Moore, the founder of Dandelion Seeds, Positive Parenting. She is a certified Gentle Parenting Coach and has worked directly with some of the world's most respected psychologists, neuroscientists, researchers and advocates for children. She also graduated from improvisational comedy school — that may be a first for this show, that's awesome! She is an expert on play, a regular contributor to international parenting magazines, she's a frequent guest on podcasts and parenting summits. She's also the editor for Pregnancy Magazine and a master trainer for The Jai Institute for Parenting.

In this episode, Sarah and I discuss the important role of Play in a child’s life and in the parent’s life. Play doesn’t take a ton of effort like you might think. All it takes is focus. Play is anything your child delights in doing. You don’t have to spend a ton of energy coming up with scenarios or making crafts you found on pinterest, just stop and do whatever your child is doing as long as they are delighting in it. We’ll also discuss the benefits of play from the perspective of a child’s growth and overall health. And how you can divide and conquer to make sure each of your children is getting a bit of playtime without you burning out. Learn more about Sarah here.

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Episode 150 Q&A: How to Stop my Child from Hitting, Biting, and Pinching Aug 30, 2021

This weeks question is from Hazel,

“How do I react and respond when my child is biting me and other family members when he gets upset? Sometimes he hits or pinches us really hard. It's typically when he's been told no, or when something doesn't go the way he wants it to go. We're new to all of this, and I feel like we have no idea what to do. Help.”

In this episode, I will address what to do when your child is hitting, biting, or pinching when they’re upset. I will provide you with strategies on how to divert and redirect this negative behavior, how to keep yourself calm, and ways to structure your caregiving methods to build positive self-regulating skills.

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Episode 149: Interoception: How This 8th Sense Impacts Child Behavior Aug 25, 2021

My guest this week is Dr. Kelly Mahler, has a doctorate in occupational therapy, and has been an occupational therapist for 18 years serving school-aged children and adults. Kelly is the winner of multiple awards, including the 2020 American Occupational Therapy Association Emerging and Innovative Practice Award, and a Mom's Choice Gold Medal. She's an adjunct faculty member in the Department of Occupational Therapy at Elizabethtown College and is actively involved in several research projects pertaining to topics like interoception, self-regulation, trauma, and autism. Kelly is an international speaker and presents frequently on topics related to a wide variety of resources she has authored. She's got lots of great books and resources, like The Interoception Curriculum, Interoception Activity Cards, Sensory Issues, and High-Functioning Autism.

In this episode, Dr. Kelly and I are going to talk about the importance of the 8th sense, also known as the interoception sensory system, which helps you understand and feel your bodily cues. This critical system is often forgotten about and problematic in sensory processing disorder individuals, where it can be over or under-functioning. We will discuss how this severely impacts the life and development of a child or adult that is struggling to modulate it and share clinical approaches to strengthening this system.

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Follow Dr. Kelly Mahler

Free resources kelly-mahler.com
Join free Facebook group: for "Interoception: The Eighth Sensory System"
Instagram: @kelly_mahler
Twitter: @kmahlerkmahler
Books

Episode 148 Q&A: Why Should We Make Time for Family Dinners? Aug 23, 2021

This weeks question is from Andrea

“I grew up in a home where we had meals together most nights, and I want to do the same thing for my family, but I'm struggling because my kids who are 3, 7, and 13 don't want to sit at the table and participate in a family meal. They want their devices, they want to eat in the other room, or they just want to grab something and eat whenever they want. My partner doesn't think it's a big deal and tells me to stop trying to make family meals happen, but I don't think the way we're doing things is good for any of us. Do you have ideas for making family meals more manageable?”

In this episode, I will address why it is so important to have family mealtime for both children and adults. I will share how to implement successful, supportive healthy mealtime routines strategies, even for families with resistive behaviors or who need accommodations for children with developmental challenges.

You can submit a question by emailing us at support@drbeurkens.com with the subject line "Podcast Question."

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Episode 147: How Energy Healing, Like Reiki, Can Be Helpful For Children Aug 18, 2021

My guest this week is Serena Poon, a nutritional energy practitioner who fuses her expertise as a celebrity chef, holistic nutritionist and Reiki Master to serve her A-list clientele from the likes of Jerry Bruckheimer to Kerry Washington and many more. Serena Loves was launched in 2019, a lifestyle brand blog and TV show that encompasses all the pillars of optimal health and well-being. This is achieved through her method of culinary alchemy, which is a combination of education, integrative and functional nutrition, and healing energy. She is also the founder of Just Add Water, a wellness line of super nutrient foods and supplements.

In this episode, Serena and I discuss energy healing, spirituality, and a particular healing modality called Reiki. We're going to delve into what Reiki is, how it can be helpful for children and really everyone in the family, along with how energy healing can combine with nutrition and other approaches to benefit kids and families, both physically and mentally.

Learn more about Serena here.

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Episode 146 Q&A: How to Get Kids to Listen Better Aug 16, 2021

This weeks listener question is from Debbie,

"My eight-year-old son has ADHD, and I'm constantly frustrated with his lack of listening. I'll tell him something or ask him to do something, and he acts like he doesn't hear me, or says, “Yup", but then doesn't do it. Sometimes I tell him it's time to do something, and he just runs the other way and refuses. I feel like I spend all day trying to get him to listenand do what he's told. I've tried all the reward charts and consequences, but they don't have a consistent impact, and they just create more work for me to manage. How can I get him to understand that he needs to listen and do things the first time he's told?”

In this episode, I will address the challenge most parents face; how to get kids to listen better! Whether it's a stubborn kid, one kid who has ADHD, is on the autism spectrum, has anxiety, or has behavior challenges, the principles and effective approaches I share work for all ages and stages of development.

You can submit a question by emailing us at support@drbeurkens.com with the subject line "Podcast Question."

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Episode 145: How To Sort Through The Right Autism Treatment And Support For Your Child Aug 11, 2021

My guest this week is Sue Simmons. Sue is on a mission to change the way our society views and addresses Autism. For decades, frazzled parents of autistic children have waited anxiously for treatment, feeling helpless and dependent. Sue proposes a new paradigm armed with training and knowledge: Not only are parents able to make dramatic changes in their children's lives, but they are ideally suited to do so. Her refreshing approach puts parents back in the driver's seatwith a focus on building safe emotional relationships rather than only seeking compliance.

In this episode, you'll be hearing from the mother of a now-adult son with ASD. Sue and I discuss Autism and related disorders. We learn about their journey (she and her son) and how it changed her perspective on what's really important when it comes to treatment and support for kids and adults with Autism Spectrum Disorder. Learn more about Sue’s complimentary session and training here.

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Episode 144 Q&A: What Might Cause A Potty-Trained Child To Regress? Aug 09, 2021

This weeks question,

“My four-year-old consistently urinates on himself at night and even during the day while he's awake. His response is that he doesn't care about using the bathroom and doesn't want to stop his playtime in order to use it. I've tried everything from rationalizing with him, encouraging and congratulating him when he goes to the bathroom, and admittedly even putting him in timeout or taking away his toys when he urinates on himself. He has not experienced any recent trauma that I'm aware of. There haven't been any major changes in our family that could possibly be connected to this. Nothing seems to be helping, I would appreciate your insight.”

In this episode, I will address a very common issue, potty training regression, especially when kids claim they just don’t care or don’t want to stop playing. I will give some background on what is appropriate for different developmental stages, discuss potential underlying issues, and provide strategies to get them to want to keep their pants (and bed) dry.

You can submit a question by emailing us at support@drbeurkens.com with the subject line "Podcast Question."

Episode 143: Understanding The Stigma And Struggles Of Parenting A Black Child With Autism Aug 04, 2021

My guest this week is Maria Davis-Pierre, the founder and CEO of Autism in Black Inc. This organization aims to bring awareness to autism and reduce the stigma associated with the diagnosis in the Black community. Her unique approach exemplifies her drive and motivation toward greater acceptance and overcoming the barriers and personal struggles associated with raising a Black autistic child. Maria has been featured in Forbes, The New York Times, she's collaborated with Microsoft, and personally has a wealth of experience on this topic.

In this episode, Maria and I discuss the unique stigma and struggles in the Black community as it relates to autism and related kinds of disabilities. Maria describes how we can better meet the needs of Black families who have children on the autism spectrum or other neurodiverse challenges. This topic is not talked about enough, I hope practitioners, school professionals, and parents put into practice all of the advice Maria provides in this episode. Learn more about Maria here.

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Episode 142 Q&A: How To Help A Child Who Struggles With Writing Aug 02, 2021

This weeks question is from Salome,

“My 10-year-old son is academically and socially gifted, but has issues around writing, even though he's an avid reader and speaker. I trace it back to earlier school years where he had mechanical difficulties with fine motor skills, with holding the pencil, forming letters, etc. And my reaction to it was over-practicing and pressuring him to try harder. I've come a long way and see how unhelpful that was. Now, he resists writing and it turns into a major battle. What would you suggest I do to help him get over this?”

In this episode, I will address how to overcome writing resistance and difficulties with children. We will discuss the complexities around why writing is one of the biggest academic challenges, and provide you with lots of simple tips, strategies, and resources to encourage writing skill development.

You can submit a question by emailing us at support@drbeurkens.com with the subject line "Podcast Question."

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Episode 141: Understand Your Child's Eating Style To Resolve Picky Eating Jul 28, 2021

My guest this week is Mary Voogt, she is a Nutritional Therapy Practitioner, feeding expert, wife, and a homeschooling mom to four who used to be selective eaters. She is the founder of Just Take a Bite and creator of The Mouth Mind Movement Minerals Method to get kids to say “Mmm!” to nourishing food every day. She uses a combination of nutritional therapy, eating styles profiling, EFT, and hair tissue mineral analysis to assess kids and get to the root cause of feeding challenges and create a personalized plan to overcome them. She blogs about her passion for nourishing food and empowering kids to take ownership of their health. And when she’s not in the kitchen, teaching her kids, or working with clients, Mary enjoys reading, walking, yoga, and spending time with her family on their 10-acre hobby farm and orchard.

In this episode, Mary and I discuss how to empower kids to be healthy eaters. We delve into a unique way of thinking about eating styles in kids, and why it’s important to understand each child’s specific needs around eating, including how things like their personality and activity level play a role in eating. Learn more about Mary Voogt here.

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Episode 140 Q&A: What To Do When Your Child Gets Highly Distressed After Making Mistakes Jul 26, 2021

This weeks question is from Elizabeth,

“My son, who is 7 is still bursting into tears, yelling, stomping, and throwing things when he makes a mistake or doesn't get his way. It’s hard for him to self-regulate when he has reached his red zone.”

In today's Q&A, I'll be talking about strategies that can help your child learn to regulate their emotions as they go through developmental phases that can be overwhelming and challenging. We are going to cover a lot of ground; some specific parenting strategies you can try in the moment, some longer-term strategies that are critical to success, and some big picture things to be thinking about in terms of the underlying cause.

You can submit a question by emailing us at support@drbeurkens.com with the subject line "Podcast Question."

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Episode 139: What an Autistic Adult Wants Parents to Know About the Growing Up Years Jul 21, 2021

My guest this week is Sarah Frisch, an independent, agender autistic adult. Since their diagnosis in adulthood, they have earned a BA in psychology and pursued a career in autism consulting. They work with parents and other autistic people as well as organizations like Autism Support of Kent County and the Department of Defense's Autism Research Program. When not expanding their understanding of the many and varied experiences in the autism spectrum, they enjoy gardening and foraging for wild food as well as spending time with their spouse.

In this episode, Sarah and I discuss their experience of growing up autistic, but not knowing it until adulthood, experiences in adulthood thus far, and what might be helpful for parents and professionals to know about how to best support people with brain-based differences throughout their lifespan. This is a fantastic episode for parents of children with autism to listen to (as well as family members and professionals). Learn more about Sarah here.

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Episode 138 Q&A: What To Do When Kids Scream Mean Things Jul 19, 2021

This weeks question is from Shante,

“My 7-year-old son stomps, screams, yells and constantly says, ‘I hate you mom, you’re so mean.’ I tell him to use other words to express what about me is mean. Should I tell him to go to his room? How do I get him to stop doing this all the time, even when he’s slightly upset or frustrated? I also have a 3-year-old, and I don’t like that she’s learning and watching her brother respond to me and yell at me that way, because now she’s calling me mean and screaming and yelling. I’m feeling lost, please help.”

In this episode, I will address what is really going on when an upset child becomes verbally hostile and says really hurtful things. We will discuss specific strategies, things to say, ways to get through these moments, and then some things to implement in the long term.

You can submit a question by emailing us at support@drbeurkens.com with the subject line "Podcast Question."

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Episode 137: How To Overcome The Challenges Of Parenting Children With ADHD Jul 14, 2021

My guest this week is Brendan Mahan. He is an internationally recognized ADHD and Executive Function expert, a highly engaging, sought-after speaker, and the host of the “ADHD Essentials” podcast. A former teacher, mental health counselor, and principal, Brendan helps individuals, families, schools, and businesses manage the challenges of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder and neurodiversity through an approach that blends education, collaborative problem solving, and accountability with compassion, humor, a focus on strengths and growth, and his trademark Wall of Awful model.

In this episode, Brendan and I discuss some of the major challenges parents and families face when a member of the family has ADHD and ways to support them and celebrate their strengths. Brendan tells us about the Wall of Awful and how this philosophy can help people with ADHD approach difficult tasks in a more positive way. Learn more about Brendan here.

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Episode 136: How To Embrace The Joys And Challenges Of Raising Neurodiverse Kids Jul 07, 2021

My guest this week is Penny Williams. Penny helps parents of challenging kids feel less alone and break down the barriers to success and joy for their families and for themselves. Through her podcast, award-winning books, online parent training programs and conferences, parent coaching, and mom retreats, she has helped thousands of neurodiverse families survive and thrive in the face of ADHD and/or Autism.

In this episode, we get to hear all about Penny’s experience as a mom of a neurodiverse child and how she rose to the challenge and became an expert in helping parents and families see the right path for their children. Penny has so many encouraging things to say to parents and gives some good take-home tips as well. Learn more about Penny here.

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Episode 135 Q&A: How To Get Hyperactive Kids To Focus Better Jul 05, 2021

This weeks question is from Heather,

“Hi Dr. Nicole, my four-and-a-half-year-old son is a good kid, but we can’t get him to focus on learning. All he wants to do is run and play. When they have circle time at school, he’ll only sit for four minutes, then he’s up and looking for something else. I am trying so hard to teach him his ABC’s, and he just says “Nope, let’s play.” or “Not now, mom”, but yet if I give him my cell phone, he can be on it for an hour watching shows without a problem. I just don't know what else to try. He’s also lacking in some speech development by about a year, and I have an appointment to get a referral for speech therapy. Not sure if I should ask about ADD or other issues.”

In this episode I will address the question - what is a normal attention span for a young child and why does screen time seem to hold their attention when nothing else will. I will also share effective strategies to improve focus and learning in children that never seem to want to sit still.

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Episode 134: How To Celebrate Your Child’s Intense Behavior Instead Of Criticizing It Jun 30, 2021

My guest this week is Tammi Van Hollander, a licensed clinical social worker and Registered Play Therapist Supervisor. She spent over 20 years working with children, families and individuals. Her work and creative interventions in the field of play therapy have been published and internationally recognized. Tammi is the author of a multi-sensory, attachment-based children’s book titled, Casey’s Greatness Wings: Teaching Mindfulness, Connection, and Courage to Children. The success of the book inspired her to create Casey’s Greatness Sticks & Greatness Cards to be used in schools, counseling and in the home. She specializes in attachment, sand tray play therapy & sensory integration work with infants, children, families, and adults. She is a certified Advanced Trainer for the Nurtured Heart Approach, a certified FirstPlay practitioner and a founding board member of The World Association for Sand Therapy Professionals.

In this episode, Tammi and I discuss the Nurtured Heart Approach. This is the relationship-focused approach to supporting kids with challenges (also works for children without a diagnosis). When we talk about behavior challenges, so often our focus goes to the negative, but it really is true that the things that we focus our energy on tend to become bigger. And as you’ll hear in this episode, that's one of the big reasons why there is a focus on the positive and on greatness in the Nurtured Heart Approach. We want to spotlight positives and focus our relational energy and interactions on the good in ourselves as well as our kids. Behavioral psychology is such a fascinating field and what I like about this method is that it helps to change everyone for the better. Learn more about Tammi here.

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Episode 133 Q&A: How Can My Child Play Independently Without Screen Time? Jun 28, 2021

This weeks question is from Alexandra,

“How do I guide my 9-year-old, only child, to play independently with something other than his iPad?”

In this episode I will address the dreaded, “I’m bored!” complaint parents hear so often outside of screen-time. I will share creative ideas for non-device activities that your child can do independently, why boredom is actually healthy for development, and how to properly react to a child when they are upset with the boundaries and expectations that are set for them.

You can submit a question by emailing us at support@drbeurkens.com with the subject line "Podcast Question."

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Episode 132: How To Introduce New Foods To A Picky Eater Jun 23, 2021

My guest this week is Jenny Friedman and I discuss How to manage picky eating issues with your kids. She is a registered dietitian who specializes in pediatric extreme picky eating. Known for her playful and approachable style, Jennifer is a leading resource for parents and professionals working with children who struggle at mealtimes. She is the author of Stories of Extreme Picky Eating and shares her insight on her website and her blog and on social media Learn more about Jenny Friedman here.

In this episode, Jenny and I discuss one of the most popular questions I get in the clinic “what to do with picky eaters?” She offers excellent expert advice in this episode that provides parents with a roadmap of where to start and how to think about this from their kids’ perspective. We’ll discuss the bridging method, language around food, and other changes you can make to food that help your child move in the right direction of trying more foods.

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Episode 131: Why Most Kids Should NOT Do Academic Summer School This Year Jun 21, 2021

This weeks question is from Nida,

“One of the things I'm struggling with right now is whether to focus on academics with my daughters this summer. Both of them are in elementary school and have some learning challenges. It has been a real struggle to help them focus and benefit from the virtual learning situations this past year. I'm feeling a lot of pressure from the school and my family to try to catch up with academics before the next school year, but I really feel like we all need a break from it. I am conflicted and wondering if you have an opinion on this.”

In this episode, I will address the dilemma parents are facing with feeling like their child may have fallen behind this last year in school. I'll give some insight on whether or not summer school might be a good option for your child and how to enjoy the summer while also best preparing your kids for the fall of 2021 school year.

You can submit a question by emailing us at support@drbeurkens.com with the subject line "Podcast Question."

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Episode 130: How To Help Young Adults Transition To Adulthood Successfully Jun 16, 2021

My guest this week is Alisa Foreman. She has a Master’s Degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from Phillips Graduate Institute. She has a strong passion for the field of psychology and supporting others on their life path through the power of therapy. She began her work at the California Counseling Center providing therapy to children, adolescents, couples, and families. She has also served as a child therapist for the Los Angeles Unified School District, where she has conducted individual and group therapy at the elementary through high school level. Alisa is the clinical director at Optimum Performance Institute and has been a part of that team for the past 11 years. She is enthusiastic about the work that she does there and the opportunity to help young adults on their journey to independence. She believes in the importance of finding joy and balance in life and building a healthy repertoire of skills to manage day-to-day life.

In this episode, Alisa Foreman and I discuss young adults, particularly the struggles that some of them experience with transitioning into independent adulthood, and how we can best support them. You may have heard the term “failure to launch”, which basically means that an individual who has the ability to move into independent adulthood has not yet been able to do so, and there can be a variety of reasons for that. Alisa and I give some examples of how parents can help young adults transition into adulthood successfully. Learn more about Alisa Foreman here.

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Episode 129: Q&A How To Manage Behavior Challenges In Children With ADHD Jun 14, 2021

This weeks question is from Audrey,

“My son is six and has been diagnosed with ADHD. We struggle with managing his impulsive and disrespectful behavior sometimes at home. His pediatrician says we should use more rewards and punishments and specifically told me to use exercise as a consequence or punishment when he does inappropriate things, like make him do push-ups, run up and down the stairs, jumping jacks, those kinds of things. Something about that just seems off to me, but maybe it is the best thing to do. What do you think?”

In this episode, I will address how to manage challenging behaviors in children with or without ADHD. Ultimately the real work, on the part of parents and professionals, is figuring out what kinds of skills the child is lacking that they resort to challenging behavior. Understanding why your child is unable to meet your expectations takes some observation, patience, and empathy. There are many ways you can help your child develop the skills to regulate their emotions, I give some examples of how to do this in this episode.

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Episode 128: 1000 Hours Outside - How Time In Nature Sets Kids Up for Lifelong Success Jun 09, 2021

My guest this week is Ginny Yurich, a Michigan mom of 5 who committed several years ago to having her kids spend 1000 hours a year outdoors. She is the founder of 1000 Hours Outside. She is a thought-leader in the world of nature-based play and its benefits for children. One of her top priorities is to inspire parents to invest in spending time in nature with their children.

Her 1000 Hours Outside Challenge spans the globe and has been featured on The Today Show, Weather Channel, Better Homes and Gardens and so many more. Many from all walks of life look to her for inspiration as well as practical tips on how to put down the screens and get outside. Ginny has a degree in Mathematics, a Masters Degree in Education from the University of Michigan, is a speaker, author, and illustrator. Check out her children’s book, The Little Farmhouse in West Virginia and 1000 Hours Outside Activity Book, Low Tech Nature Activities in a High Tech World.

In this episode, Ginny and I discuss how to get kids to spend more time in nature and why it's so important for their development and mental health. There is overwhelming evidence supporting the health benefits of outdoor time and while it sounds easy to get outside more, it can be tricky. Lots of things can get in the way like weather, schedules, finding a safe place, etc. Ginny has some easy ways to approach and overcome these hurdles so it’s easier to make the commitment. We hope you and your family find your way to 1000 hours outdoors each year. Learn more about Ginny Yurich here.

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Episode 127: My Child Has Severe Anxiety, Are There Effective Alternatives To Anxiety Medication? Jun 07, 2021

This weeks question is from Rebecca,

“ My 9-year-old daughter has always been what I would describe as a worried or more anxious child. But in the past year, with COVID, it has really ramped up. She has developed fears around doing things that didn’t use to be a problem for her, including going to school. She is more clingy to me and concerned when I leave the house, and bedtime has become more frustrating because she doesn't want to sleep alone.

I raised these concerns with her pediatrician, who said she has an anxiety disorder and gave me a referral to a local counselor who works with kids. He also told me that she probably needs medication and offered a prescription which I was not interested in at the time. Now the counselor has met with her a few times and tells me that my daughter doesn't really open up in sessions and has severe anxiety that will require medication to treat. I feel conflicted about all of this because I'm not sure anyone is really looking at what’s going on, and I don’t want her on medication if there are other things that can be helpful. Are there alternatives to anxiety medication? Thanks for any insight you have.”

In this episode, I will discuss the many inputs that may be causing the child's anxiety. And how to communicate with your child's provider when you don't agree with their recommendations for medication. So I'm going to focus my answer there, recognizing that there are many very effective non-medication treatments for anxiety.

You can submit a question by emailing us at support@drbeurkens.com with the subject line "Podcast Question."

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Episode 126: Breaking the Cycle of How We Think About and Respond to Child Behavior Jun 02, 2021

My guest this week is Mr. Chazz. His mission in life is to enjoy the process of becoming the best version of himself and help others do the same. He helps adults see, guide, and trust children. Mr. Chazz is an Educational Specialist who, “teaches teachers to teach” in a chain of Child Development Centers. He works closely with 8 different schools, 100s of teachers, and 1,000s of children. He has trained thousands of teachers in person and virtually, and earned his Master’s in Executive Leadership at American University. He is in the process of writing a book and has his own podcast called “Mr. Chazz’s Leadership, Parenting and Teaching Podcast. He also coaches people in his Patreon community.

In this episode, Mr. Chazz and I discuss how to break the cycle of the way we respond to children. The way we adults respond is rooted in our childhood experiences, how we were parented, and the models that we’ve had personally in our lives like teachers, coaches, older siblings, etc.

Once we understand these cycles, we can make a more conscious choice about what we want to keep and what we want to change in terms of our understanding and responses, and this gives us a really powerful foundation for truly supporting and meeting the needs of kids in more effective ways. Learn more about Mr. Chazz here.

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Episode 125: My 7 Yr. Old Is Constantly Being Sent Home From School For His Behavior. What Can We Do? May 31, 2021

This weeks question is from Gina and Matt,

“Our 7-year-old son doesn't have a diagnosed condition but has always struggled with his attention and focus, is very active, and sometimes has trouble managing his behaviors. He struggles with his behavior at school and sometimes gets angry and lashes out when he feels frustrated and overwhelmed. It could be pushing or hitting another child, tearing up his papers, or running and hiding in the bathroom.

This year, we’ve had an issue with the school calling us when these things happen and insisting that we come to pick him up. He has been suspended multiple times, as they request that we keep him home when this happens.

We don’t feel like being sent home from school for bad behavior is solving the problem, and in some ways, it’s teaching him that when he does these things he gets to come home. It's also very frustrating for us because we are busy in our work settings and have to drop everything to come and get him from school. We feel like there must be a better way to manage this but aren’t sure how to address it or if we even have a say in the matter. Please help.”

In this episode, I will address considerations for disruptive behavior at school and how to work collaboratively with your child’s school to come up with solutions. Being sent home from school for bad behavior is not a viable long-term solution however there are ways you can work with the school to better support the child. I will also discuss the types of support programs that are commonly available, within most schools, to help your child.

You can submit a question by emailing us at support@drbeurkens.com with the subject line "Podcast Question."

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Episode 124: How the world we live in is rewiring our brain May 26, 2021

My guest this week is Dr. Austin Perlmutter, a board-certified internal medicine physician and New York Times bestselling author. He received his medical degree from the University of Miami and completed his internal medicine residency at Oregon Health and Science University in Portland Oregon. His focus is on helping others to improve decision-making and quality of life.

He is also interested in methods of understanding and reducing burnout in the medical field, and he is the co-author of Brain Wash. He writes for Psychology Today on his blog, The Modern Brain.

In this episode, Austin and I discuss how the inputs of our daily lives affect our brains. When you recognize that the brain is always evolving to better adapt to the environment, you start to look at the inputs in your life that change your life. Like screen time, food, sleep, movement, connectedness, and mindfulness. These are all rewiring our brains on a daily basis. It is only when your body and mind feel strong and able, that you are capable of making good decisions about your inputs. If you are looking for ways to improve your cognition, decision-making, and mood, Austin includes lots of examples of how to do that. Learn more about Austin Perlmutter.

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Episode 123: Is Spanking An Effective Or Beneficial Form Of Discipline? May 24, 2021

This weeks question is from Katy,

“I’m wondering about your opinion on spanking a child who seems to be intentionally misbehaving and doesn't seem phased by anything else we do to stop inappropriate behavior.

Spanking or a threat of spanking seems to at least get his attention and stop the behavior for a bit. I don't like doing it but I feel like for really big things, maybe it's the only way to go. Wondering about your thoughts and if there is some kind of bigger damage I am doing if I use spanking on a very limited basis.”

In this episode, I will address why spanking is not an effective form of discipline and what to do instead. While many of us may have grown up getting spanked, we now have good evidence backed by research that shows that spanking is not the way to go. Mainly because spanking doesn’t address the root of the problem. I’ll also address why challenging behavior may be persisting and what to do about it.

You can submit a question by emailing us at support@drbeurkens.com with the subject line "Podcast Question."

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