The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya

Latest Episodes:

Nicole Kidman Presents: The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya Nov 05, 2024

Show notes

We come to this podcast…for magic. We come to Bald to chortle, to weep, to soil ourselves, to hear about Demi Moore's commanding yet disgusting performance in The Substance. Because we need that, all of us, that indescribable feeling we get when the theme music begins to fade, Trixie and Katya's angelic voices materialize, and we are transported to an enchanting place we've never been before; like an inane story about exercising with butt plugs or a trip to Costco to buy forty-eight razors and 7lbs of strawberries. Not just entertained, but somehow reborn, together, spewed from the collective birth canal, covered in amniotic fluid and writhing on the floor like a hairless, newborn gargoyle. We come for the sparkling sounds, words of both surprising wisdom and transcendent stupidity, delivered straight to our auricular orifices like Satan's DoorDash. Sounds that you can feel deep within your vulva. Somehow, heartbreak feels good in a place likе this. These forty-five minutes feel like thе best part of our week, and the stories about hot dog launchers and necrophilia feel perfect and powerful. Because here, they are. The Bald and the Beautiful. We sit in chairs and talk. We call it a podcast. The dolls are the dolls.

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This holiday season, gift yourself some peace of mind! If you’re 21+, check out https://bit.ly/viiathebbpod and use code BALD to receive 15% off! After you purchase they ask you where you heard about them. PLEASE support our show and tell them we sent you. This holiday season, enhance your everyday with VIIA!

To get Mint Mobile's new customer offer and your new 3-month premium wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month, go to https://MintMobile.com/BALD

Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel

Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo

To watch the podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT
Don’t forget to follow the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast
If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to: https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com
If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast
To check out future Live Podcast Shows, go to: https://trixieandkatyalive.com
To order your copy of our book, "Working Girls", go to: workinggirlsbook.com
To check out the Trixie Motel in Palm Springs, CA: https://www.trixiemotel.com

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

The Bitch is Back and She's Got Cake with Trixie and Katya Oct 29, 2024

Show notes

After nine guests and eleven episodes' worth of meandering stories about historical colon blockages, mermaid genitalia, and cosmic boreworms, prepare your grey matter for even more meandering stories about dental care imposters, chastity device technology, and acceptable dildo quantities, but this time delivered by the one, the only: Trixie mother-effing Mattel. From all of us here at Bald, LLC, especially Cheryl from Accounts Receivable, we want to say welcome the f*ck back, Trixie.

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://BetterHelp.com/BALD and get on your way to being your best self!

Start all of your holiday shopping at https://Rakuten.com or download the Rakuten app to start saving today! Your Cash Back really adds up!

Do you want your leather handbag to last forever? Head to https://MyCuire.com to get your leather care kit today!

Stop putting off those doctors appointments and go to https://ZocDoc.com/BALD to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today!

Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel

Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo

To watch the podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT
Don’t forget to follow the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast
If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to: https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com
If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast
To check out future Live Podcast Shows, go to: https://trixieandkatyalive.com
To order your copy of our book, "Working Girls", go to: workinggirlsbook.com
To check out the Trixie Motel in Palm Springs, CA: https://www.trixiemotel.com

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Joel Kim Booster's Atlantis Cruise Matinée Nightmare (Part 2) with Katya Oct 22, 2024

Show notes

It's the 4th day of your all-gay Atlantis Cruise. You just left the Bahamas and the bed of a sexy Nassau scuba instructor. You're tired. You're hungover. Your stomach is full of rum, waffles, and passionfruit-flavored lube. The hot Caribbean sun is baking your pale-ass to a crisp. Do you know what you need? You need to go directly to your cabin, drink a bottle of Pedialyte, and take a 4-hour nap. But do you listen to me? Of course not. What do you do instead? You attend Joel Kim Booster's twenty-minute stand-up set about being a hot gay man having sex with other hot gay men, and heckle the hell out of him whilst spilling a bottomless mimosa all over your brand-new pink floral swim trunks.

To get Mint Mobile's new customer offer and your new 3-month premium wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month, go to https://MintMobile.com/BALD today!

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Do you want your leather handbag to last forever? Head to https://MyCuire.com to get your leather care kit today!

Follow Joel Kim Booster: @IHateJoelKim

Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel

Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo

To watch the podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT
Don’t forget to follow the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast
If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to: https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com
If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast
To check out future Live Podcast Shows, go to: https://trixieandkatyalive.com
To order your copy of our book, "Working Girls", go to: workinggirlsbook.com
To check out the Trixie Motel in Palm Springs, CA: https://www.trixiemotel.com

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Joel Kim Booster Loathes Katya's Movie Recommendations (Part 1) with Katya Oct 15, 2024

Show notes

Since the debut of The Bald and the Beautiful in October of 2020, Katya Zamolodchikova has tickled your ears with full-throated recommendations of tens of hundreds of films; many of which are great, most of which are not. As we approach the zenith of the Halloween season, be prepared for Joel Kim Booster to be utterly at odds with Katya's positively shining endorsement of Terrifier 3, with Miss Zamolodchikova describing it as what would happen if Ingmar Bergman decapitated Stanley Kubrick while simultaneously stabbing Wong Kar-wai with Jean-Luc Godard's sharpened femur.

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This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://BetterHelp.com/BALD and get on your way to being your best self!

If you’re 21+, check out VIIA. Head to https://bit.ly/viiathebbpod and use the code BALD to receive 15% off. This fall, enhance your everyday with VIIA!

Need a website? Check Out https://SquareSpace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, go to https://www.SquareSpace.com/BALD to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain!

Take more control of your finances and stop waiting for payday! Open your account in minutes at https://Chime.com/BALD Chime. Feels like progress.

Follow Joel Kim Booster: @IHateJoelKim

Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel

Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo

To watch the podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT
Don’t forget to follow the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast
If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to: https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com
If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast
To check out future Live Podcast Shows, go to: https://trixieandkatyalive.com
To order your copy of our book, "Working Girls", go to: workinggirlsbook.com
To check out the Trixie Motel in Palm Springs, CA: https://www.trixiemotel.com

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Jimbo Interprets Katya's Dreams with Katya Oct 08, 2024

Show notes

What does it mean if several drug-addled hopheads break down the door of your beautiful three-story New York City townhouse, lick your face whilst whispering sweet nothings in your ear, steal your valuables, and they do it all in the service of their kingpin crime boss: singer, songwriter, actress, & legendary pop icon Madonna? All this and more will be discussed at length in this very special episode of Bald featuring Canada's greatest cultural export since poutine: Jimbo.

This Fall, get your gut going! Support a balanced gut microbiome with Ritual’s Synbiotic+. Get 25% off your first month at https://Ritual.com/BALD

Take more control of your finances and stop waiting for payday! Open your Chime account in minutes at https://Chime.com/BALD Chime. Feels like progress.

Stop putting off those doctors appointments and go to https://ZocDoc.com/BALD to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today!

Follow Jimbo: @JimboTheDragClown

Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel

Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo

To watch the podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT
Don’t forget to follow the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast
If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to: https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com
If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast
To check out future Live Podcast Shows, go to: https://trixieandkatyalive.com
To order your copy of our book, "Working Girls", go to: workinggirlsbook.com
To check out the Trixie Motel in Palm Springs, CA: https://www.trixiemotel.com

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Sapphira Cristál's Chicken Carbonara For Two (Part 2) with Katya Oct 01, 2024

Show notes

Step 1: Locate an impossibly gorgeous man in South Boston who's family owns an Italian restaurant. Follow him home and heat extra virgin olive oil in a heavy frying pan over medium heat. Add pancetta and garlic and saute until the pancetta is brown and crisp, and you're hard as a rock, about 8 minutes.

Step 2: In a large bowl, whisk together the cream, cheese, yolks, basil, and penis to blend. When ready, proceed to insertion into said gorgeous man.

Step 3: Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil over high heat. Add the spaghetti and cook until you finish, about 10 minutes if you think of something awful like your 5th grade teacher Mrs. Shield's thick, lustrous goatee. Once finished, ensure that both you and the spaghetti are fully drained.

Step 4: Add the chicken to the pan with the pancetta and stir to combine, as you prepare yourself to receive the gorgeous man inside you. Next, add the spaghetti and the cream mixture and toss over medium-low heat until he creams, (do NOT boil or you might end up scrambling his eggs). Season the pasta to taste, sprinkle his nuts with lemon zest, and serve with a generous topping of parmesan. Feeds two.

(Part 2 of a special 2-part interview!)

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://BetterHelp.com/BALD and get on your way to being your best self!

Stop putting off those doctors appointments and go to https://ZocDoc.com/BALD to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today!

Follow Sapphira: @SapphiraCristal

Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel

Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo

To watch the podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT
Don’t forget to follow the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast
If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to: https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com
If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast
To check out future Live Podcast Shows, go to: https://trixieandkatyalive.com
To order your copy of our book, "Working Girls", go to: workinggirlsbook.com
To check out the Trixie Motel in Palm Springs, CA: https://www.trixiemotel.com

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Sapphira Cristál's Mermaid Erotica (Part 1) with Katya Sep 24, 2024

Show notes

MEN SEEKING MERMAID/MERMAN (Pacific Ocean Adjacent): Here for a naughty-cal time with sexy sirens of the sea. We are two fit & fabulous drag queens, one folically-challenged (Katya) and one with a glorious mane (Sapphira), seeking wet and wild night with sensual seafarers turned on by promiscuous pirates. Must have functioning fish genitalia and be DTF with land-dwelling homo sapiens. Tolerance for fish badussy strongly recommended. (ability to speak on land a plus) Please send juicy pics of your driftwood and/or mariana trench to: "buckets_of_seamen@if_the_boat_is_rocking.org"

(Part 1 of a 2-part interview!)

Achieve the zen of being regular and feel the difference daily with Ritual’s Synbiotic+. Get 25% off your first month at https://Ritual.com/BALD Happy squatting!

Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @lumedeodorant and get 15% off with promo code BALD at https://LumeDeodorant.com! #lumepod

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://BetterHelp.com/BALD and get on your way to being your best self!

Try VIIA today! Head to: https://bit.ly/viiathebbpod and use code BALD to receive 15% off!

Take more control of your finances and stop waiting for payday. Open your Chime account in minutes at https://Chime.com/BALD Chime. Feels like progress.

Follow Sapphira: @SapphiraCristal

Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel

Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo

To watch the podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT
Don’t forget to follow the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast
If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to: https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com
If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast
To check out future Live Podcast Shows, go to: https://trixieandkatya.com
To order your copy of our book, "Working Girls", go to: workinggirlsbook.com
To check out the Trixie Motel in Palm Springs, CA: https://www.trixiemotel.com

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Raja Gemini: The Elusive Chanteuse with Katya Sep 17, 2024

Show notes

This week, the Loch Ness Monster of drag herself, Raja, visits the studio to discuss love, yoga, and wistful nostalgia for physical media porn. Many questions are posed and even fewer are answered. Does Raja exist? Do you exist? Is free will available to humanity in our desperate search for some semblance of personal and/or societal development? Or is it all an illusion, a minute portion of the complex ruse through which we spend every waking moment of our lives? I ask you this one question: does anyone really, truly exist? Probably not. But put that crisis aside for a moment and listen to this episode, because it's charming and entertaining and it will make you forget about the ceaseless march towards your inevitable demise for about an hour, and that's something.

Go to https://GreenChef.com/BALDCLASS for 50% off your first box + 50 FREE Credits with ClassPass! Green Chef. The #1 meal kit for eating well!

Need a website? Check out https://Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, go to https://www.Squarespace.com/BALD to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain!

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://BetterHelp.com/BALD and get on your way to being your best self!

Stop putting off those doctors appointments and go to https://ZocDoc.com/BALD to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today!

Follow Raja: @sutanamrull

Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel

Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo

To watch the podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT
Don’t forget to follow the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast
If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to: https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com
If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast
To check out future Live Podcast Shows, go to: https://trixieandkatya.com
To order your copy of our book, "Working Girls", go to: workinggirlsbook.com
To check out the Trixie Motel in Palm Springs, CA: https://www.trixiemotel.com

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Jinkx Monsoon & Silencing One's Mind with Bebe Neuwirth with Katya Sep 10, 2024

Show notes

It's 1am as you stare at the crack in the ceiling. The wind rustles through the oak tree outside as you hear Jim next door drag his garbage can down the driveway. Pam's staying at her sister's because of her divorce, the kids get up at 6, and Katherine demanded chocolate chip pancakes with whipped cream and sprinkles. You have to catch the train at 7, and on top of that the big meeting is at 9am sharp and the Jenkins file isn't even done yet! How are you supposed to fall asleep when making your way in the world today takes everything you've got? The answer? Jinkx Monsoon's patented 4-step program: "Takin' a Break From All Your Worries Sure Would Help A Lot." In just four easy steps, your mind will be whisper quiet and you'll be counting sheep in no time. Step 1: turn on your television set. Step 2: Find your local programming guide to locate syndicated airings of Cheers. Step 3: Watch Sam, Diane, Coach, Norm, Cliff, Carla, Woody, Frasier, Lillith, & Rebecca navigate life's roller-coaster of joy and pain in the titular bar and escape from the doldrums of the rat race with a live studio audience and light alcoholism. Step 4: Fall Asleep and get enough shuteye to slay the ever-loving shit out of that Jenkins file.

Climb back on that porcelain throne, and make us proud! Feel the difference, daily with Ritual’s Synbiotic+. Get 25% off your first month at https://Ritual.com/BALD Happy Squatting!

Take more control of your finances and stop waiting for payday! Open your account in minutes at https://Chime.com/BALD Chime. Feels like progress.

FX’s English Teacher is Now Streaming on Hulu! All-New Mondays on FX! And keep an eye out for a special appearance by none other than Trixie Mattel!!! https://www.fxnetworks.com/shows/english-teacher

Stop putting off those doctors appointments and go to https://ZocDoc.com/BALD to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today!

Follow Jinkx: @TheJinkx

Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel

Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo

To watch the podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT
Don’t forget to follow the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast
If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to: https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com
If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast
To check out future Live Podcast Shows, go to: https://trixieandkatya.com
To order your copy of our book, "Working Girls", go to: workinggirlsbook.com
To check out the Trixie Motel in Palm Springs, CA: https://www.trixiemotel.com

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Courtney Act's Fall Rhinestone Jackaroo Fashion Tips with Katya Sep 03, 2024

Show notes

This Fall, buck the hackneyed trends that ooze like a puss-filled pimple from the runways of Milan and Paris. Instead, embrace the effortless style that comes from the classic down-under fashion of the extraordinarily ebullient and embarrassingly eloquent Courtney Act. Whether you're channeling your inner Crocodile Dundee or the cowboy sleaze of John Wayne's 40 lbs of impacted colon feces, look no further for your comprehensive Fall Fashion Guide! From Miss Act's sparkly rhinestone Dr. Martens to her signature "Coochie-Cut" bugle crystal jorts, your neighbors will be peaking through their blinds to goon at the unadulterated gorgeousness on display. To accent your genetically-perfect complexion and perfectly-coiffed hair, finish the outfit with a genre-defying sequined denim Jacket and blindingly-neon-yellow tube-top that subtly hints at the existence of the perky little nipples that lie beneath. If you can walk down the street wearing this outfit without being instantly booked to be a model on Ed McMahon's Star Search, then you can slap my ass and call me Shirley.

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://BetterHelp.com/BALD and get on your way to being your best self!

Stop putting off those doctors appointments and go to https://ZocDoc.com/BALD to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today!

Follow Courtney: @CourtneyAct

Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel

Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo

To watch the podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT
Don’t forget to follow the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast
If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to: https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com
If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast
To check out future Live Podcast Shows, go to: https://trixieandkatya.com
To order your copy of our book, "Working Girls", go to: workinggirlsbook.com
To check out the Trixie Motel in Palm Springs, CA: https://www.trixiemotel.com

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

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