The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}

Latest Episodes:

REPLAY: Child Always Dysregulated? Try this!!! Dec 21, 2021

Show notes

Connection. Empathizing. Offering choices. These parenting ideas sound good in theory but if you are living with a child who seems chronically angry or won’t get out of bed or is otherwise pretty much always unhappy or dysregulated- none of those parenting suggestions seem to do much good. So…what should you do instead???
This episode takes you through the three places I always recommend parents start first when they are trying to support their child who feels chronically dysregulated.
1. Food, water, and movement
2. Structure, routing, and predictability
3. Stick close
These may or may not help your child to decrease their level of arousal and dysregulation but they are always where I recommend parents start first!

Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

Once you order, head to RobynGobbel.com/MAP and register for the FREE online workshop exclusively for everyone who orders the new Guided Journal. Map Your Child's Nervous System LIVE, online October 1- PLUS you'll get the recording

We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

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Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Ep. 64: Right Where You Need To Be Dec 14, 2021

Show notes

As I sat down to prep this final podcast episode of 2021- I really paused and reflected on the question- what do you need?

What Do You Need?

What do you need in December? In a time of year that often involves increased dysregulation and chaos. There are more responsibilities this time of year. You might feel more pressure to have a family that looks or acts a certain way.

There are definitely more opportunities to enforce our own boundaries.

And almost certainly more opportunities to grieve that this isn’t life you imagined.
Read a summary of this episode and access the full show notes at: RobynGobbel.com/RightWhereYouNeedToBe

Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

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Ep. 63: Connections over Compliance with Dr. Lori Desautels Dec 07, 2021

Show notes

Lori Desautels is an assistant professor in the College of Education at Butler University in Indianapolis. Dr. Desautels is especially interested in applying the social and affective neurosciences, including polyvagal theory, into the education setting. Dr. Desautels also spends two days a week in the classroom, currently with 7th graders, where she has the opportunity to be applying the concepts she is teaching to other educators.

Dr. Desautels remembers that even before she moved into academia or had the opportunity to be exposed to social neuroscience she had a lot of curiosity about what behavior really is. She’s always been on a quest to find out what is driving behavior (sound familiar?!).

Now equipped with the science of behavior, including the autonomic nervous system, she is tenaciously working to bring this science to classroom educations.

In today's episode, Dr. Desautels gives us a primer in:

The brainstem
Fight/flight/collapse behaviors
How to help kids
How to help adults
Discipline versus punishment.

Find Dr. Desautles!

Dr. Desautels’ website: Revelations in Education

Her book: Connection over Compliance: Rewiring our Perceptions of Discipline can be ordered HERE on Amazon. The audio book is coming soon!

Read a summary of this episode and access the full show notes at: RobynGobbel.com/ConnectionsOverCompliance

Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

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Ep. 62: Trauma Informed Schools with Jim Sporleder from Paper Tigers Nov 30, 2021

Show notes

You might have met Jim Sporleder in the groundbreaking documentary Paper Tigers. Jim is the former principal of Lincoln High School in Walla Walla, Washington, where he led his team and ultimately his students on the journey of becoming a trauma-informed school.

The work Jim, his team, and his students did was so phenomenal that it inspired the documentary Paper Tigers. If you haven’t seen Paper Tigers, I highly recommend it. It is absolutely worth your time!

A New Lens on Behavior

Jim was inspired to shift toward a trauma-informed lens because he knew his school and his students needed something different. He attended a trauma and toxic stress conference in 2010 where he was exposed to a completely new paradigm on behavior.

“I always believed behavior was a choice,” Jim said.

He left that conference in 2010 with a new – and radically different - understanding of behavior. He said it felt like he was hit by a bolt of lightning; he knew immediately that his approach to discipline needed to change.
Connect with Jim
Watch Paper Tigers on iTunes by CLICKING HERE.
Watch Paper Tigers on Amazon by CLICKING HERE.
Watch Paper Tigers on You Tube by CLICKING HERE.
Find Jim’s consulting services by CLICKING HERE.
Jim is the co-author (with Heather Forbes) of The Trauma Informed School. You can find that by CLICKING HERE.
Read a summary of this episode and access the full show notes at: RobynGobbel.com/PaperTigers

Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

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Ep. 61: Against a Behavioral Approach with Greg Santucci Nov 23, 2021

Show notes

Greg Santucci is an Occupational Therapist who has taken Facebook by storm with his bold, playful, and useful posts about working with kids- especially kids with regulation challenges. He currently works both in a hospital clinic and in the schools. Greg also has a consultation and training business where he gets to travel the country, training schools and occupational clinics in his ground-making model of working with kids through the lens of regulation and the neuroscience of behavior (sound familiar?!).

Greg has years of experience as a school-based occupational therapist and advocating for the respectful treatment of students.

Greg is vocal voice in the movement away from behavioral therapy, especially ABA. He is emphatically opposed to behavioral methodology and practices while at the same time, he never criticized the professionals who have worked from a behavioral model.

We know more now and we have to be brave enough to move past what we thought we knew. Greg Santucci

You will love this inspiring and fun episode with Greg Santucci while we explore a hard topic- shifting away from a behavioral approach- with compassion and joy.
You MUST go follow Greg on Facebook. If you're not on Facebook, you should create an account just to follow him, it's that good ;)
https://www.facebook.com/gregsantucciOT
Read a summary of this episode and access the full show notes at: RobynGobbel.com/AgainstABehavioralApproach

Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

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Ep. 60: Creating Trauma Sensitive Schools with Julie Beem Nov 16, 2021

Show notes

Julie Been is the executive of the Attachment and Trauma Network, a non-profit organization the supports the families of children with experiences of attachment trauma.
One of the resources ATN offers the community is the Creating Trauma Sensitive Schools conference.
In today's episode, Julie and I talk a bit about how the conference came to be and what you can currently find at the conference (which is offered both virtually and in person in 2022).
Julie also shares her go-to advice for parents who are struggling to get the services their child needs at school.
You can read a summary of the podcast over at: https://robyngobbel.com/traumasensitiveschools
Parents and educators can join ATN for free. CLICK HERE to see what ATN offers.

ATN also offers a podcast- Regulated and Relational- that Julie co-hosts with Ginger Healy.

The 2022 Creating Trauma Sensitive Schools Conference is open for registration and you can see all the details and register by CLICKING HERE.

Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

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Ep. 59: The Regulated Classroom with Emily Daniels Nov 09, 2021

Show notes

Is it possible to consider that the story we write about the experiences we are having are exactly that? Just a story? And that it's possible to re-write that story?
What about the story we write about someone else's behaviors and our reaction to those behaviors?
This week's guest, Emily Daniels, MEd., MBA, NCC, SEP in Training, is the founder of HERE this NOW, a trauma-informed education and consulting firm dedicated to bringing trauma-informed education into schools. She is the author of The Regulated Classroom, a guidebook for teachers to help them bring the science of regulation and the autonomic nervous system into their classroom, as well as the Educator Self-Care Toolkit, a collection of regulation hacks and sensory tools for educators.
Emily's superpower is obviously bringing a relational approach to what can be pretty heavy science - polyvagal theory and the autonomic nervous system. She's fun, relatable, and teaches the science in a way that makes sense and is actually useful and practical in real life.
The Regulated Classroom is organized into four classroom practices:

Connectors- Practices that cultivate relationships in the classroom
Activators- Collective rhythm-making exercises grounded in the theory of regulating the brainstem
Settles- Practices to calm the body’s stress response
Affirmations- Practices that encourage reflection, compassion, and recognition for self and others.

Emily is an absolute delight and you will love meeting her in this episode. She is leading the way in trauma-informed education practices with her focus on helping the teacher be regulated.
More of Emily!
When you're done with this episode, you're going to want to figure out a way to bring Emily to your school district. But if you can't, you can order Emily's amazing resources online.
HERE this NOW (consulting and training services)
The Regulated Classroom Guidebook
Educator Self-Care Tool-Kit

Follow HERE this NOW on Facebook HERE.
Read a summary of this episode and access the full show notes at: RobynGobbel.com/RegulatedClassroom

Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

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Ep. 58: How to Advocate for our Kids at School Nov 02, 2021

Show notes

It's that time of year again.
Dysregulation is increasing, holidays are starting, and school is becoming a very hard place for our kids (and their teachers!)
Mid to late October begins a very predictable pattern of dysregulation in the families I work with.
It's one thing for this to happen at home, but it's probably happening at school, too.
Now what do you do?
Today's episode kicks of a series on Supporting our Kids (and their teachers!) at School and I have some pretty amazing guests planned for you.
When we find ourselves in the position of advocating for our kids at school, we get to use the same skills we use with our kids.
First- Regulate ourselves!
Next- Connect and use co-regulation skills (validate, language like "Of course you feel that way")
Third- Assure them you're on their team and have the same goals
Fourth- Offer to help without the help causing more stress (IE, don't send a 250 page book to read)
In this episode, I even give a sample script on emailing your child's teacher after some not-so-trauma-informed behavior management techniques have been used.
You can head over to my blog to get a copy of that script. https://robyngobbel.com/schooladvocacy
If you'd like to read a long summary of the episode, grab that at https://robyngobbel.com/schooladvocacy
NOW! Hit subscribe because there are some pretty amazing guests coming to the podcast in the next 6 weeks!

Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

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Ep. 57: The Relationship Between Nutrition & Behavior with Dr. Nicole Beurkens Oct 26, 2021

Show notes

What if we could get better behavior by focusing on something completely different?
Dr. Nicole Beurkens is a holistic psychologist in Grand Rapids, MI who also has degrees and experience in education and nutrition.

Dr. Beurkens started her career in special education and soon found herself with a desire to work with kids, parents, and families in a deeper way than she was able to as an educator.

Through her work with families, as well as her own family, Dr. Beurkens became interested in nutrition and brain health, ultimately earning another master’s degree in nutrition so that she could incorporate nutrition health into her work with kids and families.

Go Beneath Behavior
Dr. Nicole and I get pretty jazzed about the importance about looking waaaaay beneath behavior at a child’s physiology and how nutrition specifically impacts the child’s physiology. We agreed that attachment, boundaries, connection, all the things we are always talking about on this podcast are SO important…

And…
If a child’s microbiome is out of whack, their gut health, is impaired or there are other physiological difficulties that are contributing to their behavioral difficulties, then there is very little change can be made until the physical challenges are addressed.

Listen to the episode for Dr. Nicole's ideas to take simple steps that make a big impact on nutrition and brain health, or read a thorough summary over on my blog here.
Get more Dr. Nicole Beurkens!

You can find Dr. Nicole

On her website https://www.drbeurkens.com/
On her Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drnicolebeurkens/
On Demand Digital Courses: https://www.drnicoleworkshops.com/
On her podcast, The Better Behavior Show https://www.drbeurkens.com/podcasts/
At her clinic in Grand Rapids, MI https://www.horizonsdrc.com/

Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
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Ep. 56: But- What About a Consequence? Oct 19, 2021

Show notes

Consequences. Punishments. Limits. Boundaries.
These words don't mean the same thing but we often use them interchangeably.
In this episode, we get clear on what exactly is a consequence versus a punishment versus a boundary.
And how parenting through the lens of regulation, connection, and felt-safety is absolutely not boundary-less or permissive parenting.
It's a way of looking at our kids and asking "What does my child need to be successful?" and then giving them that.
It definitely isn't about making sure our kids are always happy or never frustrated or we always say yes.
It's about changing the lens on how we view their expressions of emotions and behaviors.
And yes- it's about setting boundaries that keep our kids safe and help their brains develop the internalized co-regulation (self-regulation!) they need!
In this episode, I reference a LOT of other episodes.
Has Trauma Informed Become a Behavior Modification Technique?
What’s Regulation Got to do With it
Focus on Arousal not Behavior
Connection can’t not work
We are Always Searching and Yearning for Connection
Felt Safety- what’s that?
Connection or Protection
What Behavior Really Is- free video series masterclass
Parenting after Trauma: Minding the Heart and Brain- online digital course
Read a summary of this episode and access the full show notes at: RobynGobbel.com/WhatAboutAConsequence

Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
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