The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}

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Latest Episodes:

EP 265: Nothing Changed & Everything Changed - A mom interview May 19, 2026

Show notes

A single mom who adopted boy-girl twins through foster care shares about her slow, almost invisible journey from survival mode to genuinely delighting in her now-13-year-old kids. Nothing shifted in one big moment. Yet somehow, everything changed.

In this episode, you'll learn:

Why the shift from "I have to fix this right now" to "I can just be with you in this" is the thing that changes everything — for your kids and for you
How letting go of performing shame (in school meetings, with professionals, for society) freed up the energy to actually parent
Why the biggest leaps — academic, emotional, social — consistently happened during the stretches when they stopped trying to fix anything and just existed together

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/everythingchanged

Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

Once you order, head to RobynGobbel.com/MAP and register for the FREE online workshop exclusively for everyone who orders the new Guided Journal. Map Your Child's Nervous System LIVE, online October 1- PLUS you'll get the recording

We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
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Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

EP 264: Responding to the Judgement and Advice from Others May 12, 2026

Show notes

Parenting kids with big, baffling behaviors is hard enough. THEN someone has opinions about it. This episode breaks down why people say the things they say, what's actually happening in you when judgment lands, and how to respond- or not respond- in a way that protects your own regulation.

In this episode:

Why unsolicited advice and criticism are almost always a projection from the other person's protection brain
How to recognize when explaining yourself won't actually help
Practical ways to respond to judgment

Scripts

"Thank you. I'm comfortable with our parenting decisions."
"I hear you. I need to tend to my child right now."

Neutral / Redirect

"We've got it covered, thanks."
"We have a lot of support around this."
"I have people I go to for that."
"That's not something I'm looking for input on."
"We're working with someone on it."

Warmer with a Clear Boundary

"I appreciate that you care. We're good."
"Thanks for thinking of us — we've got support."

Confident / Firmer

"I'm not looking for advice, but thank you."
"That's not actually something I'm open to feedback on."
"We're pretty settled on how we're handling it."
"I'm not going to take that in, but I hear you."

For the chronic offender

"We've talked about this- we're not changing course."
"I've let you know this isn't something I want input on."

The subject-change version

"Mmm. Anyway…" (and move on)
"Noted." (full stop)

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/judgement

Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
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EP 263: The Framework That Works on Everyone in the Room May 05, 2026

Show notes

Whether you're supporting a dysregulated eight-year-old, a parent who's convinced nothing is working, or the version of yourself driving home after a really hard week, the science is exactly the same. Let’s look at how the theory underneath this podcast, Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors, and the BBTI’s Professional Immersion Program are grounded in the same unified relational neuroscience framework. This paradigm supports your work with kids, parents, and yourself. You only have to learn it once, because it scales!

This is the second episode in a row I’ve recorded for professionals and helpers. Next week, we’ll be back with episodes for parents! (Of course, anyone can listen to all of them!)

In this episode, you'll learn:

Why the nervous system framework that explains kids' behavior is the exact same one that explains parents' behavior…and yours
What it actually means to "be the owl" as a professional, and why that is the intervention
Why your reactions to clients aren't failures of professionalism. Their information, and getting curious about them, makes you a better helper

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

All Behavior Makes Sense {EP 198}

Read the full transcript at:RobynGobbel.com/framework

Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

EP 262: Why Helpers Burn Out- and what to do about it Apr 28, 2026

Show notes

The helpers ~ therapists, coaches, teachers, advocates ~ are burning out at alarming rates. We talk endlessly about self-care, caseload management, and having better boundaries but almost nobody is addressing the root cause.

This is a special episode that I recorded for all the professionals who listen. All the helpers who show up day after day because they love to help the parents of kids with big, baffling behaviors. All the helpers who are tired and wondering how much longer they can keep doing this.

In this episode, you'll learn:

Why working with clients in chronic protection mode pulls helpers into protection mode too - and how that's the real starting point of burnout
Applying the "all behavior makes sense" framework to your own nervous system responses changes everything about how you work
The skill that actually prevents burnout - and why bubble baths and calendar blocking aren't it

And if you want to learn more, you can join 4000+ other professionals and me in Making Sense of Baffling Behaviors- a 4-part free audio training for professionals!

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

All Behavior Makes Sense {EP 198}

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/burnout

Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

EP 261: When It's Not Working: Troubleshooting Apr 21, 2026

Show notes

You've learned about the nervous system, you're trying to co-regulate, you're thinking about felt safety and connection — and the behavior is still happening! WHY?!?! This episode is a troubleshooting guide for exactly that moment. Instead of going back to the drawing board, we're going deeper into the same map: getting curious about regulation, felt safety, connection, and skills to figure out what the nervous system actually needs.

In this episode you'll learn:

Why the question is never "what consequence haven't I tried yet?" — and what to ask instead
How to troubleshoot each of the four conditions that need to be in place for behavior to be okay: regulation, felt safety, connection, and skills
Why a child can "know" a skill and still not be able to access it — and what scaffolding that skill actually looks like

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

Podcast Episodes

Ep 198: All Behavior Makes Sense — deep dive into the moment the behavioral impulse fires
Ep. 9: Building the Tower of Self Regulation — very early episode about trust and what it means for kids with vulnerable nervous systems; link to go in show notes
Starts at Ep. 161: Felt Safety series — multiple episodes: one on inside, one on outside, one on between

Books

Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors — specifically Chapter 7 (Nat's story); available in paperback, ebook, and audio wherever books are sold; bulk ordering at RobynGobbel.com/Book
Guided Journal for Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors — pre-order available; publishes September 21; signed copies available through her local bookstore

Free Resources

Free Resource Hub — RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHub
Making Sense of Baffling Behaviors — free audio training for professionals; May 4–8, 2026; register at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBehaviors

Paid / Member Resources

The Club resource library — includes the troubleshooting worksheet and the Growing a Child's Owl Brain with Felt Safety packet/workbook (~40 pages) RobynGobbel.com/TheClub
Professional Immersion Program — students and alumni also have access to the troubleshooting worksheet RobynGobbel.com/Immersion

In-Person Trainings

Full list at RobynGobbel.com/Training

Read the full transcript at:RobynGobbel.com/itsnotworking

Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

{REPLAY} Is Co-Regulation Just Coddling?? Apr 14, 2026

Show notes

This episode originally aired in September 2024.

Almost every time I teach, especially if there are folks in the audience not already familiar with my work or the concept of co-regulation, someone asks the very valid question of-

“Isn’t this (co-regulation) just coddling?”

Fair question! There are a lot of underlying assumptions and fears in this question that we will deconstruct in today’s episode.

Spoiler: Co-regulation is NOT coddling!

In this episode, you’ll learn

The difference between co-regulation and coddling
Why asking this question helps us understand some of our fears
What trust has to do with co-regulation

Resources Mentioned on the Podcast

Read the transcript at https://robyngobbel.com/coddling

Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

EP 260: No Strategy Will Fix This: What Actually Helped Instead Apr 07, 2026

Show notes

Listen in on a conversation I have with a Club member whose family lived through years of intense, violent, and deeply isolating behavior…and eventually found their way to something different. It’s a story about holding onto the truth of who your child is, even when everything in front of you makes that feel impossible.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

Why “just tell me what to do” doesn’t work in the hardest situations, and what actually helps instead
How holding onto your child’s true essence can anchor you, even in the most dysregulated moments
The small, doable shifts that can begin to change things (even before behavior improves)

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/nostrategy

Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

EP 259: Holding Hope when your Child's Behavior is Truly Dangerous Mar 31, 2026

Show notes

Parenting a child with big, baffling behaviors can feel terrifying sometimes. Especially when those behaviors aren’t just frustrating… they’re dangerous. In this episode, I’m talking with a parent who knows that reality deeply, and who is also finding a way to hold onto hope.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

Why seeing your child as “good” doesn’t mean ignoring serious or dangerous behavior
How one parent stays steady even when others say, “This child isn’t worth it.”
What actually helps behavior change (hint: it’s not punishment, but it’s not the absence of accountability either)

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/holdinghope

Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

EP 258: Creating a Connected Classroom with Marti Smith & Amie Huggins Mar 24, 2026

Show notes

What if the biggest barrier to learning in the classroom isn’t behavior… but safety?

Teachers are overwhelmed. Kids are dysregulated. And somewhere in the middle, everyone is trying their best…but it’s not working the way we hoped. In this conversation, I sit down with occupational therapist Marti Smith and educator Amie Huggins to talk about what happens when we bring relational neuroscience into the classroom in real, practical ways.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

Why behavior in the classroom makes more sense when we see it as communication, not defiance
How connection, co-regulation, and felt safety actually support learning (not compete with it)
Simple, realistic ways teachers can meet sensory and relational needs—even with a full classroom

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

GET - The Connected Therapist
GET -Creating a Connected Classroom

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/connectedclassroom

Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

EP 257: One Reason why Kids Melt Down after School Mar 17, 2026

Show notes

When your kid melts down after school, it seems like they just have a bad attitude or don’t want to do homework. But sometimes those explosions have less to do with behavior and more to do with a nervous system that has been working hard to handle sensory stress all day long.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

Why do many kids fall apart after school, even if they seemed “fine” all day
How the sensory environment at school can slowly chip away at a child’s regulation
Why after-school meltdowns often happen with the people kids feel safest with

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

Read the full transcript at:RobynGobbel.com/meltdownafterschool

Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

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