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    Kids & Family

    The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}

    Formerly the Parenting after Trauma podcast, internationally recognized children’s mental health expert Robyn Gobbel decodes the most baffling behaviors for parents of kids with vulnerable nervous systems. If you’re parenting a child who has experienced trauma or toxic stress or a child with a neuroimmune disorder, sensory processing, or other nervous system vulnerability, this show will let you know you are not alone. You can stop playing behavior whack-a-mole because Robyn offers you tools that actually work. 

    You can become your child’s expert, feel more confident as a parent, and bring more connection and clarity into your family.

    Educators, therapists, coaches and consultants- you too can learn all about what behavior really is and become more effective at helping the families you support. You can love your work again!

    Advertise

    Copyright: © 2024 The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}

    • Apple Podcasts
    • Google Play
    • Spotify

    Latest Episodes:
    Ep. 121: How Toxic Shame Heals Mar 21, 2023
    Show notes

    Part 3 of a 3 part series on toxic shame discusses how toxic shame heals and gives parents a map for how to be with kids who experience toxic shame.

    In this episode, you’ll learn:

    • There is no technique or tool to heal shame
    • What toxic shame really needs in order to heal
    • The role of memory reconsolidation in healing toxic shame
    • Why holding the truth for our kids matters

    Resources mentioned in this podcast:
    Robyn's Book: https://robyngobbel.com/book/
    The Club: RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

    Previous Podcast Episodes:
    Trauma, Memory, and Behavior Part 1
    Trauma, Memory, and Behavior Part 2 (includes a F R E E download)
    What Our Kids Really Need (and Us, Too): Moments of Healing

    Read a summary or the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/toxicshame3

    Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

    Once you order, head to RobynGobbel.com/MAP and register for the FREE online workshop exclusively for everyone who orders the new Guided Journal. Map Your Child's Nervous System LIVE, online October 1- PLUS you'll get the recording

    We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

    RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

    Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

    Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

    Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

    Follow Me On:
    Facebook
    Instagram

    Over on my website you can find:
    Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
    eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
    LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
    Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
    Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)


    Ep. 120: What Does Toxic Shame Look Like? Mar 14, 2023
    Show notes

    Understanding how your child's - or your - behaviors protect against re-experiencing toxic shame and what it looks like will help you along the way to healing toxic shame.

    In this episode, you’ll learn:

    • What behaviors might you see that are related to toxic shame
    • How and why behaviors protect us from re-experiencing toxic shame
    • How Internal Family Systems helps us make sense of these behaviors
    • How toxic shame can protect us from experiencing the grief of aloneness

    Resources mentioned in this podcast:
    Robyn's Book: https://robyngobbel.com/book/
    The Club: RobynGobbel.com/TheClub
    Ilyse Kennedy's book: The Tender Parts: A Guide to Healing Trauma through Internal Family Systems Therapy.

    Read a summary or the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/toxicshame2

    Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

    Once you order, head to RobynGobbel.com/MAP and register for the FREE online workshop exclusively for everyone who orders the new Guided Journal. Map Your Child's Nervous System LIVE, online October 1- PLUS you'll get the recording

    We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

    RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

    Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

    Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

    Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

    Follow Me On:
    Facebook
    Instagram

    Over on my website you can find:
    Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
    eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
    LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
    Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
    Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)


    Ep. 119: The Neurobiology of Toxic Shame Mar 07, 2023
    Show notes

    Understanding the neurobiology of toxic shame helps us understand how to begin to change this for our kids.

    In this episode, you’ll learn:

    • What is the difference between shame and toxic shame
    • What is the neurobiology of toxic shame
    • How does toxic shame develop?
    • Why do good things trigger shame for some people?
    • Robyn's book is available for pre-order!!!

    Resources mentioned in this podcast:
    Robyn's Book: https://robyngobbel.com/book/
    The Club: RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

    Read a summary or the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/toxicshame

    Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

    Once you order, head to RobynGobbel.com/MAP and register for the FREE online workshop exclusively for everyone who orders the new Guided Journal. Map Your Child's Nervous System LIVE, online October 1- PLUS you'll get the recording

    We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

    RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

    Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

    Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

    Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

    Follow Me On:
    Facebook
    Instagram

    Over on my website you can find:
    Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
    eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
    LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
    Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
    Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)


    Ep. 118: How Can The Club Help my Family? Q&A Mar 03, 2023
    Show notes

    The Club is currently welcoming new members and I know you have questions- questions that ultimately boil down to:

    • Is The Club right for me and my family?
    • How can The Club help?

    I also answer very practical questions like:

    • What’s Included in The Club? (so much!)
    • How much direct interaction do I get with Robyn (lots!)
    • Is it easy to quit when I’m ready? (YES!)

    Welcome to the Friday Q&A series! I’m answering listener questions every Friday on the podcast.

    For all the details about The Club and to join us, head to https://RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

    Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

    Once you order, head to RobynGobbel.com/MAP and register for the FREE online workshop exclusively for everyone who orders the new Guided Journal. Map Your Child's Nervous System LIVE, online October 1- PLUS you'll get the recording

    We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

    RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

    Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

    Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

    Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

    Follow Me On:
    Facebook
    Instagram

    Over on my website you can find:
    Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
    eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
    LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
    Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
    Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)


    Ep. 117: How I've Strengthened my Psychological Boundaries Feb 28, 2023
    Show notes

    Robyn shares her personal journey with strengthening her own psychological boundaries.

    In this episode, you’ll learn:

    • Robyn’s experience as a client in a therapy setting
    • Allowing others to have their own emotional journeys without interfering
    • Caring for your watchdog and possum brains with your owl brain
    • The title for Robyn’s book coming out September 2023!!! Pre-order HERE

    Resources mentioned in this podcast:
    Being With Directory: RobynGobbel.com/BeingWithDirectory
    Parent Course Directory: RobynGobbel.com/ParentCourseDirectory
    The Club: RobynGobbel.com/TheClub
    Podcast with Juliane Taylor Shore: https://robyngobbel.com/boundaries3/

    Read a summary or the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/myboundaries

    Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

    Once you order, head to RobynGobbel.com/MAP and register for the FREE online workshop exclusively for everyone who orders the new Guided Journal. Map Your Child's Nervous System LIVE, online October 1- PLUS you'll get the recording

    We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

    RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

    Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

    Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

    Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

    Follow Me On:
    Facebook
    Instagram

    Over on my website you can find:
    Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
    eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
    LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
    Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
    Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)


    Ep. 116: Why does my child demand constant attention? Friday Q&A Feb 24, 2023
    Show notes

    My four-year-old is relentless in their demand for constant attention. But especially when I’m doing something like checking a text message, watching something on my phone, or talking to someone else- even just their dad! If I don’t pay attention immediately, he freaks out. How do I get this under control?

    In this episode, I:

    • Reassure you that the need for connection is totally normal!
    • Describe the neurobiology processes that make a lack of connection feel like danger
    • Recommend resources for how to help your child be able to tolerate disconnection

    Welcome to Fridays in February Q&As! I'll be answering one question every Friday in February.

    Additional Resources:
    Scaffolding Podcast: https://robyngobbel.com/scaffolding
    Bottomless Pit podcast: https://robyngobbel.com/bottomlesspit

    Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

    Once you order, head to RobynGobbel.com/MAP and register for the FREE online workshop exclusively for everyone who orders the new Guided Journal. Map Your Child's Nervous System LIVE, online October 1- PLUS you'll get the recording

    Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

    Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

    Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

    Follow Me On:
    Facebook
    Instagram

    Over on my website you can find:
    Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
    eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
    LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
    Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
    Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)


    Ep. 115: Boundaries with Verbal Aggression with Juliane Taylor Shore: Boundaries with Connection Part 3 of 3 Feb 21, 2023
    Show notes

    In part 3 of this series on Boundaries with Connection, Juliane Taylor Shore talks us through how boundaries work in relationships with our children - relationships where we have to show up every day - and why it is so important for us to have good psychological boundaries when our children are verbally aggressive.
    In this episode, you’ll learn:

    • What are psychological boundaries
    • How do psychological boundaries help us
    • Why good psychological boundaries are important when a child is verbally aggressive
    • How to create space between your mind and another's mind

    Resources mentioned in this podcast:
    Juliane Taylor Shore's website: https://www.cleariskind.com/
    Juliane's boundaries course: ​​https://therapywisdom.com/neurobiology-of-feeling-safe/
    Jules' Relationship Podcast : https://whydoesmypartner.com/
    FREE
    One-page PDF infographic on Boundaries with Connection!
    CLICK HERE to get the download sent to your inbox
    Read a summary or the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/boundaries3

    Follow Me On:
    Facebook
    Instagram

    Over on my website you can find:
    Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
    eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
    LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
    Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
    Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)


    Ep. 114: Can I teach my child about their brain? Friday Q&A Series Feb 17, 2023
    Show notes

    I’ve been listening for a while and the watchdog and possum brain ideas have really helped me. Is it OK to teach this to my kids too? I’m worried they’ll start using it as excuses.

    I get this question all the time! If we teach our kids about the watchdog and possum brain are they going to start saying things like “My watchdog brain made me hit my sister!”

    In this episode, I:

    • Outline the benefits of teaching our kids about their brain (there are lots)
    • Teach you what to do if your child uses it as an excuse
    • Recommend resources for how to teach your child about their brain

    Welcome to Fridays in February Q&As! I'll be answering one question every Friday in February.

    Additional Resources:

    Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior Podcast: https://robyngobbel.com/changebehavior
    Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior FREE Webinar: https://robyngobbel.com/webinar
    The START HERE podcast: https://robyngobbel.com/starthere

    Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

    Once you order, head to RobynGobbel.com/MAP and register for the FREE online workshop exclusively for everyone who orders the new Guided Journal. Map Your Child's Nervous System LIVE, online October 1- PLUS you'll get the recording

    Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

    Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

    Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

    Follow Me On:
    Facebook
    Instagram

    Over on my website you can find:
    Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
    eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
    LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
    Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
    Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)


    Ep. 113: Boundaries that Create Success: Boundaries with Connection Part 2 of 3 Feb 14, 2023
    Show notes

    In part 2 of this series on Boundaries with Connection, we explore how to set boundaries that create success by providing structure and containment that offers safety, connection, and co-regulation.

    In this episode, you’ll learn:

    • How boundaries can create physical and emotional safety
    • How to create the kind of boundaries your child really needs for continued development
    • How to set boundaries with the intent of increasing regulation

    Resources mentioned in this podcast:

    • Previous podcast episode https://robyngobbel.com/scaffolding

    FREE
    One-page PDF infographic on Boundaries with Connection!
    CLICK HERE to get the download sent to your inbox

    Read a summary or the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/boundaries2

    Follow Me On:
    Facebook
    Instagram

    Over on my website you can find:
    Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
    eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
    LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
    Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
    Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)


    Ep. 112: The Problem with a RAD diagnosis- Friday Q&A series Feb 10, 2023
    Show notes

    "I’m so confused about the RAD diagnosis. My son’s therapist suggested it but everything I read online is scary and hopeless. Help!"

    When parents get a diagnosis of RAD (or it even gets suggested!) they head straight to Google.

    What they find is terrifying!

    That's the problem with RAD as a diagnosis!

    In this episode, I give a new framework for considering what's underneath the behavioral symptoms that lead to a diagnosis of RAD- and why this reframe is crucial to treatment.

    Welcome to Fridays in February Q&As! I'll be answering one question every Friday in February.

    Additional Resources

    Brilliance of Attachment eBook by Robyn Gobbel

    Developmental Trauma Close Up by Beacon House (this is an EXCELLENT resource on Developmental Trauma)

    Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

    Once you order, head to RobynGobbel.com/MAP and register for the FREE online workshop exclusively for everyone who orders the new Guided Journal. Map Your Child's Nervous System LIVE, online October 1- PLUS you'll get the recording

    Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

    Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

    Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

    Follow Me On:
    Facebook
    Instagram

    Over on my website you can find:
    Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
    eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
    LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
    Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
    Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)


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