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    Christianity

    The Babylon Bee – The Babylon Bee

    This is the official, authoritative, inspired podcast of the Babylon Bee. Join editor-in-chief Kyle Mann for a look at weekly highlights, discussing the spiciest topics of the times, the stories behind the stories, and a behind-the-scenes look at the inner workings of America’s most trusted source for Christian news satire.

    Advertise

    Copyright: All Contents © Copyright 2019 The Babylon Bee

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    Latest Episodes:
    The Bee Weekly: Primaries, Peach-gate, Pride & Prejudice, Prices Aug 05, 2022

    Enjoy an 82% discount and 3 months free with the most trusted VPN provider, Private Internet Access at our link: https://privateinternetaccess.com/TheBabylonBee

    This week at The Babylon Bee, Kyle, Jarret, Christina, and Brandon talk about whether or not we are living in MAGA country after the primary results pour in, a woman made a bunch of resentful comics about her husband causing the internet to make peach memes, and an impassioned argument broke out over which Pride and Prejudice adaptation is the best. Also the prices are just too dang high!

    This episode is brought to you by our wonderful sponsors who you should absolutely check out:

    Get gold for these uncertain times: https://allegiancegold.com/bee

    Get prepared with The Babylon Bee and My Patriot Supply: http://preparewithbee.com

    Get help from Christian counseling today: https://www.betterhelp.com/babylonbee/

    The Bee announces an upcoming Beach Boys parody video. Also, terrorists are getting drone striked while hanging out with the Taliban, Newsom declared a state of emergency over a disease that totally isn’t gay, and Obi-Wan Kenobi is now bi for some reason. Okay.

    The Babylon Bee plays The Price Is Wrong, Bee where Kyle, Jarret, and Brandon try to guess the price of some random items we got from the store. There is also another exciting edition of Sizzler Facts, Bee Radio from Austin Robertson, and of course Hate Mail! Also, we find out what listeners would call their imaginary fat baby after putting out our latest Pregnant Man sketch.

    In the full length version of the podcast, Christina answers the Ten Questions and joins the other guys in reading the best subscriber submitted headlines and bonus hate mail!To get the full version of the podcast go to: http://babylonbee.com/plans


    Allie Beth Stuckey | A Babylon Bee Interview With A Fundamentalist Christian Propagandist Aug 02, 2022

    Allie Beth Stuckey is in the house with The Babylon Bee to talk in this wide-ranging interview about being a culture war crusader and fundamentalist Christian propagandist, while also being really good at naming cats. They also discuss the appropriate attire for a Backstreet Boys concert, the essential items you must have if you are a Christian woman, and where the line is for Christians criticizing politicians. The Babylon Bee also tests Allie’s principles by offering her Target gift cards.

    Hear more from Allie on Relatable with Allie Beth Stuckey

    And be sure to check out her new book You’re Not Enough and That’s Okay


    The Bee Weekly: Redefining Recession and The Quest For A Third Joke Jul 29, 2022

    Enjoy an 82% discount and 3 months free with the most trusted VPN provider, Private Internet Access at our link: https://www.privateinternetaccess.com/offer/TheBabylonBee_v12qjfi

    The Babylon Bee talks about the news this past week, gives the latest update on its search for a third joke, and says goodbye to intern Claire. Very sad! Also, no one in the Biden administration can tell us what a recession is now that it seems like we are definitely in one! Not good!

    This episode is brought to you by our wonderful sponsors who you should absolutely check out:

    Get yourself some gold! It’s a no-brainer with Allegiance Gold: https://allegiancegold.com/bee

    Check out the Fight Laugh Feast conference: http://fightlaughfeast.com

    Meditate on God’s Word With The Abide app (25% off): https://abide.co/babylon

    Kyle, Emma, and Claire answer a subscriber dare from Jennie and provide some obscure but positive facts about PA. They also see what jokes are performing well or not on the site and have another fascinating edition of Sizzler Facts. Bee Radio with Austin Robertson makes a return and Weakly News carries on despite Adam’s overly long vacation. Where has he gotten to?

    Kyle takes the show through some unused headlines at The Bee before saying goodbye to intern Claire. So sad! Then Cindy wonders how we can be Christians and drink booze while another commenter theorizes that The Bee is a Jewish conspiracy! What?

    Babylon Bee subscribers get more of the show in the full-length, ad-free version where Claire answers the second ten questions, subscribers have a chance at hearing their headline submissions be read, and the Bee reacts to some bonus hate mail over their mostly praised video game segment from last week.To get the full show, go to: http://babylonbee.com/plans


    Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, and Harry Potter Point To Jesus | A Bee Interview With Frank Turek Jul 26, 2022

    Frank Turek hangs out with The Babylon Bee to talk about how all your favorite Hollywood blockbuster movie heroes like Iron Man, Frodo Baggins, and Harry Potter will point you to the ultimate hero: Jesus Christ. Kyle and Jarret ask Frank about how hit movie franchises like the Marvel Cinematic Universe, Star Wars, and Lord of the Rings reveal God, the battle between good and evil, and the true savior of all mankind.

    Frank Turek is the founder of the Christian apologetics ministry CrossExamined and the author of the new book Hollywood Heroes. You can listen to Frank on CrossExamined Radio Program and the I Don't Have Enough Faith To Be An Atheist podcast.

    CrossExamined on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CrossExamined.org

    CrossExamined on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/CrossExamined

    Get your copy of Hollywood Heroes: https://www.amazon.com/Hollywood-Heroes-Favorite-Movies-Reveal/dp/1641583517


    The Bee Weekly: FreedomFest and The Best Video Games Ever Jul 22, 2022

    Enjoy an 82% discount and 3 months free with the most trusted VPN provider, Private Internet Access at our link: https://www.privateinternetaccess.com/offer/TheBabylonBee_v12qjfi

    This week at The Babylon Bee, the guys review their crazy weekend in Las Vegas at FreedomFest because what happens in Vegas echoes in eternity. They also talk about good Samaritans who use guns and run into burning buildings, repent of not knowing the fish slapping dance, and discuss the top ten greatest video games of all time. Travis is back with a vengeance this episode.

    This episode is also brought to you by these sponsors bringing you Fake News You Can Trust: BetterHelp: http://betterhelp.com/babylonbee My Patriot Supply: http://preparewithbee.com ABIDE app: http://abide.co/babylon Allegiance Gold: http://allegiancegold.com/bee

    The Babylon Bee crew also talks about the news of the week like Brandon Falls being a historical landmark now, NPR deciding to open up a brand new disinformation wing, and Joe Biden wandering around the Middle East asking for Jafar. There’s also more Sizzler facts, a Weakly News with Claire filling in for Adam, and Bee Radio with Austin Robertson. Kyle sits down with Andrew Crapuchettes, from Red Balloon, who is trying to connect freedom-loving employers with people who just want to work without compromising their beliefs and values. Last but not least, the guys at The Babylon Bee set in stone their top ten video games of all time.


    Raised from the Dead: The Angel Studios Story Jul 20, 2022

    Two Mormons, Jeff and Neal Harmon, and an orthodox Jew, Matthew Faraci, stop by The Babylon Bee to tell the story about Angel Studios. Angel Studios was sued by Disney and ordered to pay a company-crushing $62 million judgment to Disney over its VidAngel service. That should have been the end of them. Then they went on to produce Dry Bar Comedy and The Chosen, which is the top crowd-funded film project of all time and has been seen by hundreds of millions of viewers worldwide.

    Check out The Chosen on Amazon Prime: https://www.amazon.com/The-Chosen-season-1/dp/B091D6KCBS

    The Chosen App: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.vidangel.thechosen&hl=en_US&gl=US

    Angel Studios: https://www.angel.com/


    The Bee Weekly: Top Ten Cartoons with Tuttle Twins Voice Actor Alex Elkin! Jul 15, 2022

    Kyle and Adam are joined by Comedian and Tuttle Twins voice actor Alex Elkin to dive deep into hard hitting issues like Jill Biden comparing “latinx” to “breakfast tacos,” Hunter Biden’s leaked iCloud messages (why is no one covering this?), and more! We also list our top 10 cartoons OF ALL TIME, thanks mostly to hate mail saying that grown men shouldn’t watch cartoons. And don’t miss out on this week’s Sizzler Fact!

    Bee Radio w/ Austin Robertson and Weakly News w/ Adam Yenser strike back at fake news by being even faker. The Babylon Bee talks to Glen Scrivener about his new book The Air We Breathe where he suggests people are believers without even knowing it. Hmm?!

    In the subscriber portion, the crew reads subscriber headlines, the classic article of the week, bonus hate mail, and then Alex Elkin answers the ten questions.


    Prime Time With Walking Satire Machine Alex Stein Jul 12, 2022

    The Babylon Bee spends prime time with Alex Stein, notable Blaze TV contributor and host of The Conspiracy Castle podcast. We learn behind the scenes info on his work posing as a far left madman at city council meetings and the importance of getting involved in local government. And did you know life isn't worth living without the love of a cat? You will!


    The Bee Weekly: Top Ten Comedy Shows and Bison Attack! Jul 08, 2022

    Kyle, Adam, and Emma from The Babylon Bee talk about what’s in the news this week. Hide yo kids and hide yo wife because the bison are attacking everybody up in here! Also, adoption is creepy now, TikTok banned The Babylon Bee, and it was revealed that Joe Biden financed Hunter’s trysts with Russian-linked escorts. They also do a rundown of their top ten comedy shows of all time and for some reason Kyle really really likes The Big Bang Theory. Really. Then, Emma, even though she isn’t a biologist, claims to be able to tell Kyle and Adam what a woman is.

    This episode is brought to you by Better Help Counseling. Don’t struggle alone! Get help from counselors who share your faith by going to BetterHelp.com/BABYLONBEE!

    Also, make sure to get some food stuff to prepare for the economic times we seem to be living in. Check out My Patriot Supply at PrepareWithBee.Com!

    We got a lot of hate mail for our recent amazing and very informative video Frightening But 100% True Facts About Guns. In the full-length podcast available to Babylon Bee subscribers only, there are even more crazy hate mail, a classic article of the week, and a rundown of the top Subscriber Headlines of the Week!


    Dismantling Islam With David Wood | A Bee Interview Jul 06, 2022

    Head of Acts 17 Apologetics and sociopath David Wood discusses Islam, imprisonment, and personality disorders with The Babylon Bee. An important episode for anyone interested in talking to muslims about the gospel message.


    The Bee Weekly: ROE IS DEAD And There Are Women In This Episode Jul 01, 2022

    Roe V. Wade got aborted this past week, so the podcast gets hijacked by the women at The Babylon Bee. Men cannot talk about abortion, because of their lack of uteri, so Chandler, Bettina, Emma, and Claire take over to discuss the overturn of almost 50 years of baby murder precedent and how everyone lost their poop on Twitter. Kristan Hawkins from Students For Life of America calls in to tell us about Roe V. Wade being overturned and what that means is up next for the pro-life movement. Also, Pete Hegseth and David Goodwin talk to The Babylon Bee about how progressives hijacked public education and ruined basically everything.

    This episode is brought to you by our awesome sponsor Alliance Defending Freedom. They are helping us bring you Fake News You Can Trust and now they need your help defending freedom in this nation. Become a flag bearer for freedom today!

    Check out Pete and David’s book Battle for the American Mind and the Association of Classical Christian Schools.

    Check out Kristan Hawkins’ podcast Explicitly Pro-Life.

    Kyle and Joel’s new book The Postmodern Pilgrim’s Progress is out and it is good. Get it now!

    Of course, there is Weakly News with Adam Yenser, but Austin Robertson and Bee Radio take a break this week. Sad! Not good! But, there’s Sizzler Facts! Choices! Good!

    Babylon Bee subscribers get access to the full-length podcast where you can keep learning more about the women behind The Babylon Bee and get access to bonus hate mail, the best subscriber headlines, and the classical article of the week.


    God, UFOs, and The Physics of Star Wars with Hugh Ross | A Bee Interview Jun 28, 2022

    Astrophysicist Hugh Ross, the founder of Reasons To Believe, talks to The Babylon Bee about extraterrestrial alien life, UFOs, and the reasons from science to believe in the God of the Bible. They also talk about how faster than lightspeed travel would completely kill you dead.

    Check out Reasons To Believe and Dr. Ross’ new book coming out soon: Designed To The Core.


    The Bee Weekly: Mega Stuff That’s Good Unlike Lightyear Jun 24, 2022

    This week at The Babylon Bee, Kyle, Adam, and Chandler talk about the very woke pro-LGBT+ Lightyear bombing at the box office, Rick Warren single handedly carrying the church on his back, and Ben Stiller going to Ukraine for some reason. MyPillow also got canceled by Walmart and Sizzler Facts is back! And, by popular demand, the crew have a mega edition of Stuff That’s Good– unlike Lightyear!

    Kyle and Joel’s new book The Postmodern Pilgrim’s Progress is out and it is good– unlike Lightyear. Get it now!

    This episode is brought to you by our awesome sponsors My Patriot Supply, Better Help, and Alliance Defending Freedom. They are helping us to continue to bring you Fake News You Can Trust. Check them out.

    Bee Radio with Austin Robertson and Weakly News with Adam Yenser strike back and The Babylon Bee talks to education freedom advocate Sam Sorbo about the importance of home education. Also, everyone demanded more Travis, so we listened. Welcome to Travis’ Video Game Korner.

    Be sure to check out Sam Sorbo online to find out more about her podcast, The Sam Sorbo Show, and The Home Learning Conference.

    In the subscriber lounge, the crew reads subscriber headlines, the classic article of the week, bonus hate mail, and then the amazing Chandler Juliet answers the newer better second ten questions.


    What Really Happened On January 6th With Brandon Straka | A Bee Interview Jun 22, 2022

    Brandon Straka joined The Babylon Bee to talk about being arrested for participating in what is being called the 2021 United States Capitol Attack. As a former liberal, Brandon Straka started the Walk Away social media campaign to encourage liberals to leave the Democratic Party and he was there on that fateful day in our nation’s capital. Subsequently, his house raided by the FBI and he was arrested, prosecuted, and convicted for the role officials say he took in an insurrection against the government. May Brandon have committed some light treason? We interview, you decide.

    You can check out the Walk Away campaign or Brandon’s website.


    The Bee Weekly: Grilling Authors And Our New Studio Jun 17, 2022

    Kyle and Adam welcome Joel Berry to the brand new podcast studio. It has a neon light and everything! The trio discuss gun control, sentient AI, and more! We've also got some more Bee Radio and Weakly News coming at you. And Travis hops in to quiz Kyle and Joel on their new book, The Postmodern Pilgrim’s Progress.

    We also take the time to interview Penny Nance to find out how many Pennie's her thoughts cost. (It's three)

    Subscribers, stick around for hate mail, subscriber headlines, and a dramatic discussion on which dinosaur is Joel’s favorite. The answer may shock you!


    The Bee Weekly: Grilling Authors And Our New Studio Jun 17, 2022

    Kyle and Adam welcome Joel Berry to the brand new podcast studio. It has a neon light and everything! The trio discuss gun control, sentient AI, and more! We've also got some more Bee Radio and Weakly News coming at you. And Travis hops in to quiz Kyle and Joel on their new book, The Postmodern Pilgrim’s Progress.

    We also take the time to interview Penny Nance to find out how many Pennie's her thoughts cost. (It's three)

    Subscribers, stick around for hate mail, subscriber headlines, and a dramatic discussion on which dinosaur is Joel’s favorite. The answer may shock you!


    The Bee Weekly: Grilling Authors And Our New Studio Jun 17, 2022

    Kyle and Adam welcome Joel Berry to the brand new podcast studio. It has a neon light and everything! The trio discuss gun control, sentient AI, and more! We've also got some more Bee Radio and Weakly News coming at you. And Travis hops in to quiz Kyle and Joel on their new book, The Postmodern Pilgrim’s Progress.

    We also take the time to interview Penny Nance to find out how many Pennie's her thoughts cost. (It's three)

    Subscribers, stick around for hate mail, subscriber headlines, and a dramatic discussion on which dinosaur is Joel’s favorite. The answer may shock you!


    Toppling Queer Theory’s House Of Cards With Liz Wheeler | A Bee Interview Jun 15, 2022

    Political commentator Liz Wheeler joined The Babylon Bee to talk about reading all the founding documents of critical and queer theory, Mark Zuckerberg being a robot who may have swung the 2020 election, Ron DeSantis’ bid for 2024, and the hottest spots to buy chest binders and packing underwear.

    You can check out Liz Wheeler on her podcast The Liz Wheeler Show

    Or read her book Tipping Points: How to Topple the Left's House of Cards


    The Bee Weekly: Just Tyrus And A Joke About Taco Bell Jun 10, 2022

    Join us for a very special abbreviated episode! It’s special because it’s shorter and only includes the good parts! We’ve got new editions of Bee Radio w/ Austin Robertson, Weakly News w/ Adam Yenser, and a special interview with professional wrestler and political commentator Tyrus.

    In the subscriber lounge we’ve got the classic article of the week, bee headlines, and Tyrus answers the Ten Questions.


    The Bee Weekly: Beloved Bee Memories, Conservatism, and Racist Star Wars Fans Jun 03, 2022

    Welcome to the end of all things! Join Kyle Mann, Adam Yenser, and beloved Managing Editor Joel Berry for the final podcast in the old studio! The trio discusses popular K-Pop group BTS, Joe Biden’s plans for protecting schools (or lack thereof), Pelosi’s super drunk husband, and more! The Babylon Bee team also talks about their favorite memories as they bid farewell to the old production studio.

    Award-winning biblical scholar and political theorist Yoram Hazony sits down for an interview with Kyle and Dan Coats to discuss his new book, Conservatism: A Rediscovery. If you read it, you will become a smart person!

    This episode is brought to you by our wonderful sponsors who you should absolutely check out:

    My Patriot Supply at PrepareWithBee.com. Get ready today!

    Allegiance Gold!

    Alliance Defending Freedom!


    God and Ayahuasca With Neal Brennan | A Bee Interview Jun 01, 2022

    Comedian Neal Brennan, who co-created and co-wrote Chappelle's Show, joined The Babylon Bee to talk about doing comedy, believing in God after doing ayahuasca, and how cancel culture is totally fake-so stop crying about it.

    You can check out Neal Brennan on his show Neal Brennan: Unacceptable or his Netflix special 3 Mics or simply go to Neal Brennan’s website for upcoming shows.


    The Bee Weekly: Tragedy in Texas, Running for School Board, and Face Tattoos May 27, 2022

    The Babylon Bee talks to repeat guest and fan favorite, Kira Davis, who is running for school board to save the kids from CRT, groomers, and mask mandates. They talk about what’s going on in the world this week like the tragic event in Texas, Nancy Pelosi being told she can’t have communion- we can’t believe it either!- and how monkeypox is totally not gay. The Bee also talks to rapper and songwriter Tom MacDonald about his non-woke music and what it’s like to be a normal guy with face tattoos.

    It’s a packed episode with what’s banging and bombing on The Babylon Bee, love mail, hate mail, Weakly News with Adam Yenser, and Bee Radio from Austin Robertson. In the subscriber portion, Kira Davis answers questions directly from Bee subscribers.

    Check out Kira Davis for School Board and also her podcast, Just Listen To Yourself.

    Check out the music of Tom MacDonald on YouTube.

    This episode is brought to you by:

    UnderTac (Get the best boxer briefs on the market!)

    Alliance Defending Freedom (You can support freedom and get a free American flag!)

    BetterHelp (Get 10% off today and get counseling from Christians who share your faith!)


    No Altar Calls For Ray Comfort | A Bee Interview May 25, 2022

    The founder and CEO of Living Waters, Ray Comfort, is in the studio with guys from The Babylon Bee to talk about evangelism, the gospel of Jesus Christ, and how he would have handled that Elon Musk interview a bit differently. Ray tells Kyle Mann and Adam Yenser all about his life’s work of talking to strangers on the street and why you should never leave home without a stack of gospel tracts.

    Ray can be seen on Living Waters on YouTube and his TV show Way of the Master.


    The Bee Weekly: The Officer Tatum and PragerU’s Will Witt May 20, 2022

    The Babylon Bee talks to PragerU’s man on the street, Will Witt, and The Officer Brandon Tatum. Kyle and Adam talk to Will about what’s going on in the news this week like baby formula shortages, the media’s different coverage of recent tragedies depending on what narrative they fit, and Twitter employees who got caught saying some communist things! Never go full potato, Twitter!

    Kyle and Adam talk to Brandon Tatum about the craziest cop stories he has, law enforcement being vilified by media and politicians, and how fast you can drive over the speed limit without getting pulled over. Some of this interview is for Babylon Bee subscribers only!

    Will Witt chats with the Bee about his man on the street videos and whether or not we should just call it a day and weep for the future of the nation.

    In the subscriber lounge, subscribers get the rest of the Brandon Tatum interview, Will Witt answers the Ten Questions, and subscribers get their best headlines read!

    You can see more of Will Witt over at PragerU.

    Brandon Tatum just landed a new radio show on Salem Radio! You can also find Brandon Tatum over at The Officer Tatum and you can check out his book Beaten Black and Blue: Being a Black Cop in an America Under Siege

    This episode is brought to you by our wonderful sponsors who you should absolutely check out:

    My Patriot Supply at PrepareWithBee.com. Get ready today!

    Allegiance Gold!

    Alliance Defending Freedom!

    The PublicSq app!


    The Bee Weekly: The Officer Tatum and PragerU’s Will Witt May 20, 2022

    The Babylon Bee talks to PragerU’s man on the street, Will Witt, and The Officer Brandon Tatum. Kyle and Adam talk to Will about what’s going on in the news this week like baby formula shortages, the media’s different coverage of recent tragedies depending on what narrative they fit, and Twitter employees who got caught saying some communist things! Never go full potato, Twitter!

    Kyle and Adam talk to Brandon Tatum about the craziest cop stories he has, law enforcement being vilified by media and politicians, and how fast you can drive over the speed limit without getting pulled over. Some of this interview is for Babylon Bee subscribers only!

    Will Witt chats with the Bee about his man on the street videos and whether or not we should just call it a day and weep for the future of the nation.

    In the subscriber lounge, subscribers get the rest of the Brandon Tatum interview, Will Witt answers the Ten Questions, and subscribers get their best headlines read!

    You can see more of Will Witt over at PragerU.

    Brandon Tatum just landed a new radio show on Salem Radio! You can also find Brandon Tatum over at The Officer Tatum and you can check out his book Beaten Black and Blue: Being a Black Cop in an America Under Siege

    This episode is brought to you by our wonderful sponsors who you should absolutely check out:

    My Patriot Supply at PrepareWithBee.com. Get ready today!

    Allegiance Gold!

    Alliance Defending Freedom!

    The PublicSq app!


    The Chosen’s Dallas Jenkins | A Bee Interview May 17, 2022

    The director of The Chosen, Dallas Jenkins, is in studio with The Babylon Bee to talk about Christians in the arts, the state of Christian entertainment, and the challenge of depicting Jesus without a British accent.

    Angel Studios, which produces The Chosen, is a crowdfunded movie studio that let’s investors directly choose which programs they want the studio to pursue.

    Be sure to check out The Chosen App to watch the show The Chosen. Also available on VidAngel, Amazon Prime, Apple TV, and more!


    The Bee Weekly: Ultra-MAGA Siaka and the Libertarian Zoomer May 13, 2022

    Kyle Mann is joined by The Babylon Bee’s own MJ and special guest Siaka Massaquoi. The trio discuss laaaaaame Democrats, the FBI confiscating MAGA hats, Gen Z being a weird generation, and more!

    New editions of Bee Radio and Weakly News are here… and MJ answers questions from her Twitter followers. They all seem to like her but the rest of us have to deal with hate mail. Why do we keep getting these? You’re hurting our feelings, you guys. FROWNY FACE.

    Siaka Massaquoi is also running for California office as representative of District 43! If you’re in that area try legally voting for him. He seems cool. And he’s black. Also, check out his What The Fact channel on Rumble and on Instagram.

    This episode is brought to you by Alliance Defending Freedom! Support the ones defending your freedom and receive a free American flag as a thank you!

    This episode is also brought to you by Faithful Counseling! Get the help that you need today from counselors who share your faith and your values and get 10% off!

    This episode is also brought to you by our friends at PublicSq who are connecting freedom-loving Americans with their local communities, reliable information, and the businesses that share their values. Now available on the App Store, Google Play, Windows, and Mac.


    The Bee Weekly: Abortion, Abortion, Abortion! May 06, 2022

    Kyle and Adam are joined by special guest Amala Ekpunobi from Unapologetic LIVE! She gives us the low down on her Internet feud with a trans woman who is sponsored by a feminine hygiene product. And did you hear Roe v Wade might get overturned? THAT’S BIG NEWS, YOU GUYS!

    Adam Yenser is back with an incredible new installment of Weakly News and Austin “The Voice In My Heart” Robertson is back with a new edition of Bee Radio. Exclamation points!

    Subscribers should be sure to stick around for Amala Ekpunobi’s answers to the fabled TEN QUESTIONS and ton of hate mail.

    This episode is brought to you by:

    Allegiance Gold

    Also brought to you by:

    Alliance Defending Freedom

    Strikeman

    My Patriot Supply


    The Bee Weekly: Lil’ Bladder and the Global Failure of Masks Apr 29, 2022

    Check out Private Internet Access and get a special deal.

    Kyle, Adam, and Brandon Toy talk about this week at The Bee and also talk to Ian Miller about his book Unmasked: The Global Failure of COVID Mask Mandates. Kyle gains a new street name as he sits in the slammer of Twitter Jail and Anthony Fauci has declared that the pandemic is now over to anyone still listening to him. Due to popular demand Sizzler Facts is back and then The Bee analyzes what satire is currently banging and bombing on the site. Bee Radio from Austin Robertson runs straight into your ear canal like smooth honey dripping from a wooden spoon and Adam Yenser brings Weakly News. The Bee dips into the everflowing hate mail and Brandon Toy is subjected to the Ten Questions in the subscriber lounge.

    This episode is also brought to you by Undertac. Get Undertac today!

    Get Christian counseling from our friends at Faithful Counseling.

    Be a flag bearer for freedom today! Support our friends at Alliance Defending Freedom as they fight for your First Amendment rights today and get a free American flag!


    The Bee Weekly: Doxxing Libs of TikTok and Rational Dating With Dennis Prager Apr 22, 2022

    It’s another week at the Bee and you can use our special link for 83% off Private Internet Access!

    Kyle, Adam, and Emma Spies discuss the doxxing of Libs of TikTok, the demise of mask mandates on airlines, Disney losing their little autonomous zone, and much more! Adam Yenser brings Weakly News, Austin Robertson presents another edition of Bee Radio, and Dennis Prager sits down for a talk about dating—what else?—from a large desk in a dramatic power move.

    Join us in the Subscriber’s Lounge as Emma answers the ten questions and reveals that Hitler is still alive and well.

    This episode is brought to you by My Patriot Supply. Go to PrepareWithBee.com to get special pricing on your emergency food supply.

    This episode is brought to you by Strikeman Laser Dry Fire Training System. Ammo is expensive, but with a laser dry fire training system from Strikeman you can still train to become proficient in the safe and accurate use of your weapon. Use promo code AMMOFREEDOM to save 20% off!


    Fighting Fake News with Alex Marlow | A Bee Interview Apr 15, 2022

    Alex Marlow is the Editor-in-Chief of Breitbart News and hosts the Breitbart News Daily Podcast. Marlow faces Adam Yenser’s Real or Fake Headlines challenge and reminisces about Joe Biden’s most memorable speeches. Marlow recently published a book called Breaking the News: Exposing the Establishment Media’s Hidden Deals and Secret Corruption, which is available now.

    This episode is brought to you by Private Internet Access.

    This episode is also brought to you by Faithful Counseling. Get help today from people who share you faith and values.


    The Bee Weekly: Twitter Changes and The New Bee Book on Democracy Apr 08, 2022

    It’s another week at the Bee and you can use our special link for 83% off Private Internet Access!: https://privateinternetaccess.com/TheBabylonBee

    Kyle and Adam are joined by Jarret to discuss the big new shareholder of Twitter. Didn’t you get the memo? The Bee is also releasing a brand new book! Enjoy a sneak peak of The Babylon Bee Guide To Democracy!

    You can pre-order The Babylon Bee Guide To Democracy now!

    Stay a while and listen to new editions of Bee Radio w/ Austin “The Robinson” Robertson, Weakly News w/ Adam Yenser, and a brand new segment: Sizzler Facts. Listeners also get an exclusive leak of the audition tapes from some ambitious people who want Jen Psaki’s job.

    In the subscriber’s lounge we hang out with world-famous Bee Subscriber JungleBiker. Will he answer the ten questions? Only you can find out!

    This episode is brought to you by Strikeman Laser Dry Fire Training System. Ammo is expensive, but with a laser dry fire training system from Strikeman you can still train to become proficient in the safe and accurate use of your weapon. Use promo code AMMOFREEDOM to save 20% off at: http://TRAINWITHSTRIKEMAN.COM

    This episode is also brought to you by MY PATRIOT SUPPLY.. Don’t be unprepared when disaster strikes. Save $150 on a three month emergency food kit at: http://PrepareWithBee.com


    The Bee Weekly: Unboxing Joel Osteen’s Prosperity Cube Apr 01, 2022

    Kyle and Adam are joined by Jarret Lemaster to discuss the recent event at the Oscars and our favorite Hero of the Faith: Joel Osteen.

    We have another edition of Babylon Bee Radio courtesy of Austin Robertson. He serves up the fakest news you can get. And how could you forget Weakly News with Adam Yenser? It’s knee-slappin’ - or face-slappin’ - good.

    Then the three vote on what is or is not heresy from various Joel Osteen quotes by putting a dollar in our Heresy Jar. We also look back on previous Joel Osteen headlines. This is followed by a couple’s account of how Putin is affecting their relationship.

    This episode is brought to you by: Undertac Faithful Counseling Revolution Allegiance Gold


    The Bee Weekly: Twitter Death Comes For Us All Mar 25, 2022

    Kyle and Adam are joined by Chandler Juliet to discuss The Babylon Bee’s recent ban from Twitter. We also take a look at several suspicious accounts that haven’t been banned. Weird.

    We have another edition of Babylon Bee Radio courtesy of Austin Robinson. He serves up the fakest news you can get. And how could you forget Weakly News with Adam Yenser? You’re so insensitive.

    Dr. Fazale Rana of Reasons To Believe visits The Bee to discuss transhumanism and how it may, or may not, relate to Locutus of Borg. But no one thinks to ask him about Robocop. Sad.

    Dr. Rana’s collected works are available on Amazon, including Humans 2.0: Scientific, Philosophical, and Theological Perspectives on Transhumanism and his most recent work, Fit for a Purpose: Does the Anthropic Principle Include Biochemistry?

    This episode is also brought to you by My Patriot Supply

    Also brought to you by…

    Allegiance Gold

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    In the Subscriber Lounge™ Kyle is confronted with the fact he’s probably possessed by a demon (darn!) and, as always, we review a classic Bee article and Subscriber Headlines of the Week! And don’t forget to stick around for the rest of Dr. Fazale’s interview!


    A Bee Interview With Larry Elder Mar 23, 2022

    Accomplished radio host—and almost Governor of California—Larry Elder stopped by The Babylon Bee studio to talk about being the black face of white supremacy and to give his thoughts on the recall campaign, that gorilla lady who threw eggs at him, and whether the future of California is truly hopeless. Editor-in-Chief Kyle Mann and Adam Yenser ask the questions in this hard-hitting Babylon Bee interview before inviting Larry to blow off some steam with some eggs we found.

    This episode is brought to you by the precious metals experts we trust at Allegiance Gold. Get $500 in free silver with a qualifying purchase: https://allegiancegold.com/bee


    The Bee Weekly: Kids Write Bee Headlines and The Corrupt U.S. Government Mar 18, 2022

    Kyle, Adam, and Jarret commune to discuss the inevitable destruction of the earth as a result of nuclear war, high gas prices (yes, this is still a thing), Rachel Levine being… a thing, and Obama getting COVID! Hilarious!

    A new edition of Babylon Bee Radio is hot off the air waves (is that a thing?). Austin uses his sensual voice to give you the fake news that really matters.

    Need more fake news? Check out headlines written by kids and some unsolicited headlines from the deep underdark that perhaps should never have seen the light of day.

    We also sit down with Patrick Newman to discuss government cronyism. Did you know the government has been corrupt since the beginning of time? Now you do!


    The Bee Weekly: Our New World Of Soaring Gas Prices And Movies Not As Good As The Phantom Menace Mar 11, 2022

    This week The Babylon Bee discusses how insane gas prices are. Biden seems to think it’s entirely Russia’s fault but we know he’s just being modest. Kyle, Adam, and Jarret also discuss their personal top ten Sci-Fi films (but no one picks The Last Jedi? Weird.) We also sit down with Carl Trueman, the author of a very thick book called The Rise and Triumph of the Modern Self: Cultural Amnesia, Expressive Individualism, and the Road to Sexual Revolution. He now has a shorter, more approachable book covering the same ground called Strange New World.

    You can pre-order Dr. Carl Trueman’s new book Strange New World now

    For the much larger book, check out The Rise and Triumph of the Modern Self: Cultural Amnesia, Expressive Individualism, and the Road to Sexual Revolution

    This episode is also brought to you by Daily Nouri

    This episode is brought to you by Private Internet Access


    The Bee Weekly: Russia Invades, Moral Fossil Fuels, and The Bee Turns 6 Mar 04, 2022

    On The Bee Weekly, Kyle and Adam are joined by Mike Luso to talk about this week at the Babylon Bee as The Bee turns 6 years old, Russia invades Ukraine, and Biden gives an interesting State of the Union. Then Alex Epstein—no relation—brings his moral case for fossil fuels.

    You can find out more about Alex Epstein at the Center for Industrial Progress.com, get his book The Moral Case For Fossil Fuels or pre-order his upcoming book Fossil Future!

    This episode is brought to you by My Patriot Supply. Go to PrepareWithBee.Com!

    This episode is also brought to you by Daily Nouri!

    In need of Christian counseling? Check out our friends and Faithful Counseling!

    Kyle, Adam, and Mike talk about Ukraine and the State of the Union before looking at the Banger and Bomb articles of the week. Adam brings Weakly News and then the Bee celebrates turning 6 years old by going through some of its greatest hits! Kyle and Adam then talk to Alex Epstein about the moral case for fossil fuels and whether or not you can really run the entire nation on solar power. The Bee got some hate mail for making fun of Christians again.

    In the subscribers-only lounge, Kyle, Adam, and Mike look at the top subscriber-pitched headlines of the week and some love mail for making fun of Christians. Subscribers to the Bee also get the rest of the Alex Epstein interview!


    The Bee Weekly: Facebook Deletes Our Post and We Make Grammar Gooder Again Feb 25, 2022

    The Babylon Bee discusses how Facebook says we have gone against their community standards and have deleted our post about Amy Schneider. Adam and Jarret are joined by copy editor Kristin Oren to help us all with our grammar and to talk about some stuff that’s good like books that you really need to read.

    Kristin worked on Kyle and Joel’s new book The Postmodern Pilgrim’s Progress, which is available for Pre-Order!

    This episode is brought to you by My Patriot Supply!

    This episode is also sponsored by Daily Nouri!

    This episode is also brought to you by ADF Legal. Help support Lorie at the Supreme Court!!

    Adam, Jarret, and Kristin talk about this week at The Babylon Bee, some stuff that’s good, and the social network that is hoppin’ over at Not The Bee. They also discuss this week’s banger article and this week’s bomb. This week’s subscriber dare has The Bee crew analyzing the lyrics to a Twenty One Pilots song. Then Adam brings sweet Weakly News straight to your ear canal. Listeners are also treated to The Bee’s latest sketch about a brave great white shark that has finally been allowed to compete in the women’s swimming competition. Kristin talks about her latest projects and helps everyone get good with their grammar.

    In the subscriber-exclusive lounge, subscribers get access to the classic article of the week, a PureTeej edition of the Subscriber Headlines of the Week, and then Kristin Oren flips the tables on the Bee guys and asks them the questions!


    The Bee Weekly: Metaverse or Mark of the Beast? Feb 18, 2022

    The Babylon Bee discusses life in the Metaverse, including going to church in the Metaverse, with Christian astrophysicist Dr. Jeff Zweerink from Reasons to Believe. The Bee also talks about everything else going in the writer’s room and, of course, the notorious hate group, Westboro Baptist Church.

    This episode is brought to you by Private Internet Access. Get 83% off!

    Check out Dr. Jeff Zweerink’s work at Reasons to Believe.

    This episode is also brought to you by ADF Legal. Join the fight!

    This episode is brought to you by Faithful Counseling!

    Kyle and Adam talk about this week at The Babylon Bee and also the hate group Westboro Baptist Church. They also discuss this week’s banger article and this week’s bomb. Adam brings Weakly News again. Listeners are also treated to The Bee’s latest sketch about an Atheist Chaplain who has discovered the liberating message that everything is meaningless.

    Dr. Jeff Zweerink joins Kyle and Adam to talk about the Metaverse. Is it the next evolutionary leap for humanity? Is it the Mark of the Beast? If you get baptized in the Metaverse, and go to church in the Metaverse, does that mean when you die you go to Metaverse Heaven? In the spirit of Valentine's Day, The Bee Reads some love mail. Then the usual Hate Mail this week continues the epic saga of Sherry.

    In the subscriber-exclusive lounge, subscribers get access to the full Dr. Jeff Zweerink interview, get Subscriber Headlines of the Week, and bonus hate mail!


    The Bee Weekly: Thrash Metal Apologetics, Worship Leader Uniforms, and Star Trek Nerdery Feb 11, 2022

    This episode is brought to you by Private Internet Access. Get 83% off: https://privateinternetaccess.com/TheBabylonBee

    The Babylon Bee analyzes some thrash metal apologetics, evaluates the current state of worship leader life with a real-life worship pastor, and talks to comedian Yannis Pappas!

    Check out Yannis Pappas comedy tour dates and his podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/longdays-with-yannis-pappas/id1547367594

    https://www.yannispappascomedy.com/

    This episode is also brought to you by ADF Legal. Join the fight: https://adflegal.org/babylonbee

    Kyle and Adam are joined by worship pastor and actor Jarret Lemaster to talk about this week at The Babylon Bee and also the thrash metal apologetics of Tourniquet. They also discuss what the expectations are of a modern worship pastor and the scene of Christian movie acting. The guys talk about what Whoopi Goldberg said on the View and some cases before the Supreme Court relating to the Banger and Bomb articles of the Week. Adam Yenser brings Weakly News and the guys all talk about their favorite thing this week in Stuff That’s Good. Kyle and Adam ask Jarret who he is and get into a discussion involving worship leader skinny jeans and acting in the Christian movie world.

    Yannis Pappas then joins Kyle and Adam for a lengthy discussion. Viewers are also treated to the Joy of Painting With Hunter Biden sketch that Yannis did with The Bee. The Hate Mail this week is a bit of an epic saga that you don’t want to miss.

    In the subscriber-exclusive lounge, subscribers get access to the full Yannis interview, get to hear Jarret’s answers to The Ten Questions, and also are treated with some spicy hate mail conspiracy theories about how The Babylon Bee is a CIA plant to propagandize its audience.


    Smashing Leftist Late Night Shows | A Bee Interview with Greg Gutfeld Feb 10, 2022

    Greg Gutfeld, the new king of Late Night, joins Kyle and Adam to talk about how he is destroying all the other Late Night hosts, cancel culture, and why he continues to call Brian Stelter fat. Greg never planned on working in Late Night. He first started writing in the magazine world then working his way up into shows on Fox before landing on his current show, Gutfeld! Greg is bringing his live shows to new cities. Check out the links below for how to get FREE tickets.

    Get FREE tickets to see Greg in Dallas here: Greg Gutfeld Events Check out where to watch Greg here: Greggutfeld.com Kyle and Adam find out how Gutfeld! has evolved over his time on the air. Greg talks about how he became the Late Night king. Kyle and Adam find out why Greg goes so hard after the CNN pundits.

    Kyle and Adam both find out why they were rejected from working with Greg. Adam finds out what Greg thinks about the current state of cancel culture.

    In the Subscriber Portion, Kyle talks about Greg's almost Muslim Gay bar and how his position has evolved. Greg answers the ever great 10 questions.


    The Bee Reads LOTR Episode 39: The Ultimate Episode Feb 05, 2022

    Kyle and Dan finish reading through The Lord of the Rings with subscribers of The Babylon Bee and discuss the chapters of The Scouring of the Shire and The Grey Havens. The hobbits are back in town and they mean business. How did the Shire turn into North Korea and what can four little hobbits do about it? How did Sam turn into Johnny Appleseed? Will Frodo ever be healed and whole? What Lord of the Rings board games must you try? Tune in as The Bee Reads LOTR sails off into the west with its final “fantastic.”

    Kyle and Dan wish to thank Jonathan Watson and Michael Grumbine for being most excellent hobbits, esteemed Tolkien nerds, and dear friends.

    To access this subscriber-exclusive content, go to BabylonBee.com/plans. Support The Babylon Bee, enjoy the extra content, and join the community of subscribers reading good books together!


    THE BEE WEEKLY: Biden’s First Year and The Viking Heart Feb 04, 2022

    The Babylon Bee remembers the first year of Joe Biden’s Presidency since he might have forgotten it and also talks to historian Arthur Herman about how to be more like the Vikings, but not the football team. The Bee also has an exclusive statement from Justin Trudeau, Weakly News from Adam Yenser, and an inside look to this week at The Babylon Bee.

    Check out Arthur Herman’s latest book The Viking Heart.

    This episode is brought to you by Faithful Counseling.

    This episode is also brought to you by Enduring Word Bible Commentary.

    Kyle played board games, Adam went to Montana, and Dan’s roof blew away in a windstorm. A subscriber makes it possible for The Bee to launch our subscriber-exclusive audio yacht. There’s a banger and bomb article of the week, stuff that’s good, and an exclusive statement from Justin Trudeau brought to you only by The Babylon Bee. Adam Yenser brings Weakly News and then The Bee remembers Joe Biden’s first year of being President because it’s possible that he doesn’t quite remember all of it. Then Kyle and Adam talk to historian Arthur Herman about pointy helmets, conquering the world, and the indomitable spirit of the Vikings. Of course, The Bee opens up its hate mail for the week too.

    In the subscriber exclusive lounge on the third floor of The Babylon Bee Audio Yacht, subscribers are treated to the Bee’s classic article, subscriber headlines, love mail, bonus hate mail, and the rest of the interview with Arthur Herman!


    The Bee Reads LOTR Episode 38: Homeward Bound Jan 29, 2022

    Kyle and Dan continue reading through The Lord of the Rings with subscribers of The Babylon Bee and discuss the chapters of Many Partings and Homeward Bound. Why are goodbyes always difficult? Why is Saruman so bitter? What does Bilbo have to teach us about getting old? Tune in to find out!

    To access this subscriber-exclusive content, go to BabylonBee.com/plans. Support The Babylon Bee, enjoy the extra content, and join the community of subscribers reading good books together!


    THE BEE WEEKLY: Backhanding Blue Checks and Now You Can Be A Skittle Jan 28, 2022

    Candy can be trans now, Democrats are talking about backhanding women they disagree with, and pro-life conservatives tell a pro-abortion Oklahoma state legislator that his terms are acceptable. This week at The Babylon Bee, Kyle and Adam talk to Skillet’s John Cooper about his new album, Dominion, which is lifting spirits and melting faces.

    This episode is brought to you by Alliance Defending Freedom Legal Fund: go to: http://ADFLegal.org/babylonbee

    This episode is also brought to you by Enduring Word Bible Commentary, which is completely free. Go to: http://enduringword.com

    Kyle and Adam talk about the banger and bomb articles of the week which involve a new M&M trans character and Uyghur Muslims being forced to make Golden State Warrior jerseys. Podcast viewers can enjoy the video about the first trans Skittle. Then, Adam gives you the news you need to know this week in Weakly News. The Bee also gets caught up on all the crazy things Blue Checks say like how women should be backhanded, it’s now celebrated for a wife to renounce her husband’s thought crimes, and USA Today wants us to better understand pedophilia for some reason. Also, Trey Gowdy doesn’t understand how three times zero isn’t three. Then it’s time for The Celebrity Dating Game featuring AOC!

    Kyle and Adam then talk to John Cooper from Skillet about Dominion, honoring the Emperor, and what’s causing crime to skyrocket in our cities. Of course, there is also hate mail.

    In the subscriber lounge, Gavin answers the ten questions and shows off his lightsaber collection with the news that we are one step closer to making lightsabers a reality. Subscribers also get the rest of the interview with Skillet’s John Cooper!


    The Bee Reads LOTR Episode 37: The King Returns Jan 22, 2022

    Kyle and Dan continue reading through The Lord of the Rings with subscribers of The Babylon Bee and discuss the chapters of The Field of Cormallen and The Steward and the King. They discuss how these chapters really have a sense of fulfillment and show Tolkien’s mastery in weaving together romance, eschatological themes, and humor. What is true greatness? Will the King enter into his city finally? Is everything sad going to come untrue? Tune in to find out!

    To access this subscriber-exclusive content, go to BabylonBee.com/plans. Support The Babylon Bee, enjoy the extra content, and join the community of subscribers reading good books together!


    THE BEE WEEKLY: Flying Spaghetti Monsters and Bad British Food Jan 21, 2022

    Kyle, Adam, and Dan talk about this week at The Babylon Bee and talk to Justin Brierley from the ‘Unbelievable?’ podcast about bad British food, the worst atheist arguments, and staying Christian even while arguing with other Christians. Kyle and Adam also try to roast the resident Reformed guy in the office. The interview show is now a part of The Bee Weekly, so tune in to a new action-packed Bee Weekly! Be sure to check out Justin Brierley’s ‘Unbelievable?’ book and podcast. He also hosts The Big Conversation, so check that out! This episode is brought to you by Enduring Word Bible Commentary. Go to https://enduringword.com for David Guzik’s completely free teaching resources.

    This episode is also brought to you by INKL. Go to https://inkl.com/bee for curated ad-free news from reliable sources.

    This episode is also brought to you by Faithful Counseling. Go to https://faithfulcounseling.com/babylonbee to connect with a fellow believer online within a network of licensed, professional therapists.

    The Bee guys talk about the banger and bomb article of the week and then Weakly News with Adam Yenser gives you all the news you need to know for this week. Kyle and Adam roast the Reformed guy Dan Coats. The Babylon Bee obtained an exclusive interview with one of Kamala Harris’ staffers, so hear it here on The Bee Weekly. Then, Justin Brierley of ‘Unbelievable?’ sits down with Kyle and Adam to talk about apologetics, annihilationism, and how British people sound very intelligent, but still have bad British food. And then, The Bee gets called out for being blasphemous for writing a story about Chick Fil-A getting an order wrong.

    In the subscriber lounge, Dan answers more questions from subscribers to The Babylon Bee about predestination, Roman Catholicism, and NFTs. There’s also the best subscriber headlines, classic article of the week, and bonus hate mail. There’s also a lot of N.T. Wright discussion in the rest of the interview with Justin Brierley!


    THE BEE WEEKLY: Cringe Sermon Moments, SCOTUS, and Questioning a Catholic Jan 14, 2022

    Kyle Mann and Adam Yenser are joined by Patrick Green on this Bee Weekly to talk about heroes of the faith who gave us cringe moments in the history of preaching and to talk about the Bee’s deep dark secret practice of employing a Roman Catholic. Kyle gets a surprise and Patrick Green gets put in the hot seat for being Catholic.

    This episode of The Bee Weekly is brought to you by INKL. Get a discount on curated, ad-free news from 100+ sources with a single subscription at: http://inkl.com/bee

    This episode is also brought to you by Faithful Counseling. Get counseling from people who share your faith and your values at: http://faithfulcounseling.com/babylonbee

    Kyle gets a surprise that should help him stay on keto for another 4 hours and the guys talk about our latest parody video getting restricted by YouTube. They talk about the banger and bomb of the week, Adam Yenser does Weakly News and then there is the latest Heroes of the Faith. After learning how to smash a television with an axe and that all atheists have video games in common, the guys show our latest sketch about a lonely unvaccinated man whose vaccinated friends all have COVID, and then the Bee’s ultimate showdown between Roman Catholics and Protestants commences. The Bee also responds to atheist hate mail.

    In the subscriber lounge, Patrick answers some questions from subscribers to the Babylon Bee and also answers the ten questions. The Bee guys interact with bonus Elon Musk hate mail and headline pitches from the subscribers.


    Solving the Case of Jesus with Homicide Detective J. Warner Wallace Jan 11, 2022

    Homicide Detective J. Warner Wallace joins Kyle and Joel to talk about how he investigated Jesus' death as a cold case detective, his journey to becoming an apologist, and more cool cop stories. J. Warner Wallace worked as a cold case homicide detective before finding Jesus. Once he retired from police work he went on to become an apologist and author. His latest book is "Person of Interest: Why Jesus Still Matters in a World That Rejects the Bible."

    Go to Inkl.com/bee to get an additional 25% off a year subscription

    Kyle and Joel find out how working surveillance played a large part for J. Warner’s journey to becoming a Christian. J. Warner goes into what reading the new testament was like for him. Kyle asks the tough questions such as if J. Warner has fired his gun or if he likes Jesus. Joel takes the role of book promoter by constantly bringing up J. Warner’s book. J. Warner comments on the Kyle Rittenhouse case and why it was a bad idea from the beginning.

    In the Subscriber Portion, Joel finds out if becoming a Christian changed J. Warner’s police work. J. Warner talks about his views on finding an audience. Kyle sparks a great topic with police profiling and some probable causes for it. As always we end the conversation with the ever inspiring 10 questions.


    The Bee Reads LOTR Episode 36: Endgame Jan 08, 2022

    Kyle and Dan continue reading through The Lord of the Rings with subscribers of The Babylon Bee and discuss The Land of Shadow and Mount Doom. Frodo and Sam trudge through Mordor with Hobbit tenacity to finish what they started and the guys discover that Monster energy drinks are Kyle’s Lembas. No matter how dark it gets, there is light and high beauty ever beyond the small and passing shadow. Kyle also shows off his sweet commissioned painting from Laura Hollingsworth of Sam looking up at the star.

    To access this subscriber-exclusive content, go to BabylonBee.com/plans. Support The Babylon Bee, enjoy the extra content, and join the community of subscribers reading good books together!


    THE BEE WEEKLY: False Prophets and Babylon Bee Prophecies for 2022 Jan 07, 2022

    In this episode of The Bee Weekly, Kyle is joined by Joel Berry and Adam Yenser to talk about what’s going on at the Bee and what the Bee is prophesying will happen in 2022. There’s the Weakly News with Adam Yenser and also Heroes of the Faith filled with classic false prophecies.

    Be sure to check out Adam Yenser’s Cancelled News on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/adamyenser

    The Bee writers discuss the changes at The Babylon Bee this week and talk about the banger and the bomb articles. Adam Yenser presents the Weakly News and then the guys discuss what the highly accurate Babylon Bee prophecies are predicting for 2022. In Heroes of the Faith, the guys discuss famous failed secular and religious prophets. Then the Bee guys read some hate mail from the week.

    In the subscriber lounge, Kyle, Joel, and Adam discuss whether a hot dog is a sandwich and the ontological nature of the Kool-Aid Man.Subscriber Headlines of the Week are read and Joel Berry is subjected to a new list of Ten Questions.

    To see the full episode, go to: http://babylonbee.com/plans


    Behind The Bee Interview With Managing Editor Joel Berry Jan 04, 2022

    On The Babylon Bee Interview Show, Patrick Green interviews Babylon Bee’s own Managing Editor, Joel Berry. They talk about his origin story before landing his dream job of helping to rule the world of satire with The Babylon Bee. Joel started off as a super fan of the Bee and worked his way up to being a full time writer for us. Besides writing articles, Joel is the co-author of The Babylon Bee Guide to Wokeness and The Post-Modern Pilgrim’s Progress.

    This episode is also brought to you by Faithful Counseling. Go to http://betterhelp.com/babylonbee for 10% off!


    The Bee Reads LOTR Episode 35: Based Sam Dec 28, 2021

    Kyle, Dan, and Michael continue reading through The Lord of the Rings with subscribers of The Babylon Bee and discuss The Tower of Cirith Ungol. A discussion arises as to who is the real hero of The Lord of the Rings when we get to a chapter where Sam storms a castle all by himself. Sam is also tempted by the ring right at the doorstep of Mordor and we read that the road to Mordor is paved with good intentions. The guys also lay the whole Allegory discussion to rest until the next time Kyle says something is an allegory. By the way, Sam is the GOAT.

    To access this subscriber-exclusive content, go to BabylonBee.com/plans. Support The Babylon Bee, enjoy the extra content, and join the community of subscribers reading good books together!


    THE BEE WEEKLY: Elon Musk Recap, Demanding Figgy Pudding, And Bad Christmas Books Dec 24, 2021

    The Babylon Bee had an insane week and comedian Kellen Erskine is in the studio to talk to Kyle and Ethan about the Elon Musk interview and also to figure out what the deal is with figgy pudding. Adam Yenser joins them to share with them The Weakly News and then the guys analyze figgy pudding hype while discussing bad Christmas books you should never read.

    Be sure to watch the recent interview with Elon Musk here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jvGnw1sHh9M

    Be sure to check out Kellen Erskine’s podcast The Book Pile, which he barely mentioned: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-book-pile/id1541602946

    Kyle and Ethan get invited to a wedding from a man who asked them for marriage advice, and The Bee crew reviews their banger and bomb of the week. Adam Yenser brings the news and the guys look back on their recent Elon Musk interview. They eat figgy pudding and talk about the best and worst Christmas books and then read this week’s hate mail.

    In the subscriber lounge, Kyle and Ethan help Kellen to be a better comedian, read bonus hate mail, hear from a Reformed dating site about Catholic Patrick’s new profile, talk more about Christmas, and read subscriber-submitted headlines. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all!


    FULL INTERVIEW: Elon Musk Sits Down With The Babylon Bee Dec 22, 2021

    RED ALERT: this is not a joke. Elon Musk sat down with Babylon Bee CEO Seth Dillon, EIC Kyle Mann, and Creative Director Ethan Nicolle for an in-depth interview on wokeness, Elizabeth Warren, taxing the rich, the Metaverse, which superhero Elon would be, and how the left is killing comedy. Go to http://ADFlegal.org/mandate and make a tax deductible donation to ADF’s Freedom Fund to ensure they have the resources necessary to continue their challenges in court, all the way to the U.S. Supreme Court, if necessary! Back The DAVID Movie project by going to http://angel.com/david to help to help bring this incredible movie to life. Go to http://TuttleTwins.com and use coupon "BEE" to get 50% off any of their book bundles. Become a premium subscriber: https://babylonbee.com/plans The Official The Babylon Bee Store: https://shop.babylonbee.com/ Follow The Babylon Bee: Website: https://babylonbee.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/thebabylonbee Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheBabylonBee Instagram: http://instagram.com/thebabylonbee


    The Bee Reads LOTR Episode 34: For Frodo Dec 18, 2021

    Kyle, Dan, and Michael continue reading through The Lord of the Rings with subscribers of The Babylon Bee and enter the chapters The Last Debate and The Black Gate Opens. Even if we have a somewhat hopeless situation, we still must do what is right. Enjoy the final epic chapters with The Babylon Bee as they finish Book 5.

    To access this subscriber-exclusive content, go to BabylonBee.com/plans. Support The Babylon Bee, enjoy the extra content, and join the community of subscribers reading good books together!


    THE BEE WEEKLY: Reformed Dating For Catholics and The California Bacon Apocalypse Dec 17, 2021

    The Babylon Bee guys are joined by Joe Baldwin from Strategic Swine Solutions to talk about how California is soon going to run out of bacon, leaving them in a post-apocalyptic nightmare straight from Satan. The guys also set up a dating profile for Catholic Patrick on a Reformed dating site. The Weekly News gets a revamp with Adam Yenser taking the lead and there’s the latest Heroes of the Faith featuring Canadian nudist bombers.

    This episode is brought to you buy Issues, Etc. Radio Show and Podcast. Go to https://issuesetc.org/babylonbee/ to see their interview with Kyle Mann and Joel Berry.

    Be sure to check out Adam’s Cancelled News Segment on his YouTube channel.

    Also be sure to buy pork products to make Joe Baldwin happy.

    In the subscriber lounge, the guys finish Patrick’s Reformed dating profile with a video they coach him through, there are subscriber headlines of the week, bonus hate mail, and Joe Baldwin answers the Ten Questions!


    How Democrats Cause Homelessness and Poop on the Street | A Bee Interview with Michael Shellenberger Dec 14, 2021

    Micheal Shellenberger joins Ethan and Adam to talk about how Democrats are destroying cities with terrible policies, better ways for clean energy, and why there is so much poop on San Francisco's streets. Michael recently wrote the book SanFran-Sicko, where he details how Progressives are ruining major cities. He has written other books, including Apocalypse Never, where he details policies that can realistically give cleaner energy without all the wokeness attached.

    Ethan and Adam find out from Michael some new ways to make fun of San Francisco, besides there just being poop in the streets. Michael shares in detail how these progressive mayors have been slowly destroying cities. He gives his distinction between shelter and housing and why its relevant to these policies. Ethan and Adam play a game where they take turns being the most extreme on both sides of a political issue.

    In the Subscriber Portion, Ethan and Adam get Michael’s take on major cities in the U.S. and what could be done to fix them. Michael shares about how defunding the police has done for cities, such as Portland. Michael details how Seth Rogen tweets have become out of touch with reality. Ethan and Adam end the interview with the ever great 10 questions.


    The Bee Weekly: Big Tech Challenges With Dan Dillon and The Voice of The Bee Dec 10, 2021

    CTO Dan Dillon and the Voice of The Bee, Austin Robertson, join Kyle and Ethan this week to talk about big tech challenges, The Bee’s ambitions for the future, and how there’s always money in the Lakewood Church bathroom. Dan Dillon designed Not The Bee too. The guys play a game to find out who knows the most about The Babylon Bee and Dan Dillon discusses the challenges of running conservative websites in today’s internet environment.

    This episode is brought to you by Issues, Etc. radio talk show and podcast which features expert guests, expansive topics, while extolling Christ. Go to http://issuesetc.org/babylonbee to see their special interview with Kyle Mann and Joel Berry today!

    Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee’s sister site, Not The Bee, which has real news articles that we can’t believe aren’t satire and a full-fledged social media experience.

    Kyle, Ethan, Dan, and Austin go through the week’s weird news including an Italian man avoiding the vaccine with a fake arm, a breastfeeding airline passenger whose child might actually be a cat, and the money that is pouring out of the walls of Joel Osten’s church bathroom. They talk about the week’s Banger and Bomb of the Week at The Babylon Bee, including how the unemployment rate both Cuomo brothers has gone up 100%. Of course Austin Robertson reads the extra salty hate mail in his super sultry voice.

    In the subscriber lounge, CTO Dan Dillon answers questions submitted by Not The Bee subscribers before the guys read subscriber-submitted headlines, read love mail, and Dan Dillon and Austin Robertson answer The Ten Questions!


    Adam Carolla Talks Comedy and His New Daily Wire Show | A Bee Interview Dec 07, 2021

    Adam Carolla joins Ethan and Adam to talk about his new comedy show on Daily Wire, why the right will save comedy, and how he ended up working with Daily Wire. Adam Carolla is a comedian, podcaster, and all around truth teller. He gained fame for co-hosting Loveline and The Man Show. Adam currently hosts The Adam Carolla Show, a talk show distributed as a podcast, which set the Guinness World Record for “most downloaded podcast.” Adam’s new show Truth Yeller is available on Daily Wire, where he brings on comedians for stand-up and an interview in front of a live audience. You can find out more about Adam on his website. Watch Ethan on The Adam Carolla show here

    Ethan and Adam find out where comedy is heading now with woke mobs attacking comics and the left making it seem like they have a handle on all things comedy. Adam shares how the current culture has led him to working with The Daily Wire. Ethan and Adam find out about Adam’s struggle with each political side finding something new to criticize him on. Adam shares about how he responds to criticism that he has changed even though he doesn’t see it quite that way. Adam shares what it was like to work with Dennis Prager on their documentary, No Safe Spaces. Ethan finds out what Adam’s opinion is on how the media portrays people on the right.

    In the Subscriber Portion, Ethan and Adam find out Adam’s favorite Christian bands. Adam tells a story of a party guest leaving the biggest red wine stain on a white carpet in his house. Ethan and Adam end the interview with the ever great 10 questions with a great shout out to Dennis Prager.


    THE BEE WEEKLY: Know Your Bible and Trump Taekwondo Dec 03, 2021

    Ethan Nicolle and Adam Yenser are joined by Pastor David Guzik of Enduring Word Bible commentary to help The Babylon Bee know where the lines are for Christian satire, mockery, and jokes about Hell. Pastor David is put to the test to see if he really knows the Bible like he says he does. They talk about this week at The Babylon Bee, weird news, and also question if Trump really deserves a ninth black belt in Taekwondo.

    Be sure to check out David Guzik’s freely available Bible commentary at Enduring Word.

    Be sure to also check out Ethan old band’s new release Today For Tomorrow.

    Ethan, Adam, and Pastor David answer a two-for-one subscriber dare involving a meme, talk about The Bee’s Banger and Bomb of the Week, and dive into deep end of this week’s weird news. The weird news involves Canada’s strategic maple reserve, a street sweeper getaway, and a woman kicked out of a church for illicit cilantro. Pastor David is subjected to a brutal Bible trivia quiz and The Babylon Bee officially puts him on retainer to make sure all their jokes are clear with Heaven. Then there’s some salty hate mail.

    In the subscriber lounge, there is a bonus better hate mail, a discussion about free will and God’s sovereignty, subscriber-submitted headlines, and The Ten Questions for Pastor David Guzik.


    Comedian Explains the Challenges of Christian Entertainment | A Bee Interview with Thor Ramsey Nov 30, 2021

    On The Babylon Bee Interview Show, Christian comedian, Thor Ramsey, talks to Kyle and Ethan about becoming a Christian stand-up comedian, making the Church People Movie, and doing a political comedy show. Thor Ramsey recently wrote the book, The Most Encouraging Book on Hell Ever, where he tackles the question by probing deeper. Thor starred in Church People, as a Pastor trying to find his passion again inside the mega church marketing machine. The political climate has motivated Thor to start a new web series, The Protest Show.

    Kyle and Ethan find out the origin of where Thor Ramsey’s name came from. They talk about his transformation from a secular comic to a Christian comic. Thor gives insight on the challenges of Christian comedy and how it differs from a normal comedy club. Thor gives his Kirk Cameron story once in the free portion and again in the exclusive subscriber portion for all those listeners that missed it the first time. Thor talks about making Church People with Stephen Baldwin. They talk about the struggle of making good Christian art and how secular movies can be just as bad.

    In The Subscriber Portion, Kyle and Ethan find out Thor’s worst bombing story. Thor goes into how he’s learned to deal with hecklers. Ethan asks how Thor tells the same joke over and over again when developing an act. Thor tries out some of his political jokes on the Bee team showing how difficult it is to do political comedy. As always the interview ends with the ever great, 10 questions.


    THE BEE WEEKLY: Thanksgiving Special 2021 Nov 25, 2021

    Kyle and Ethan run down memory lane on this Thanksgiving 2021 special episode of The Bee Weekly. This is your chance to catch up with some of The Bee’s personal favorite moments from the podcast archives. Gratitude is the key to happiness, so give thanks for these hilarious moments.

    This episode is brought to you by Faithful Counseling. Go to http://betterhelp.com/babylonbee for 10% off!

    Behold the glory of the Worship Song Generator. Re-live that time The Bee had a deep thinking theologian on the show just to talk about their past relationship with Linkin Park and eat links of pork. Walk down memory lane of some of the Babylon Bee’s most hated headlines. All this and more on this week’s The Bee Weekly!

    Be sure to check out the full-length version by becoming a Babylon Bee subscriber and hear Kyle and Ethan answer Even More Ten Questions from subscriber Calvin!


    The Bee Reads LOTR Episode 33:The King Heals And The Rebel Burns Nov 20, 2021

    Kyle, Dan, and Michael continue reading through The Lord of the Rings with subscribers of The Babylon Bee and enter the chapters The Prye of Denethor and The Houses Of Healing. Wouldn’t it be great if we had a king right about now that—oh, I don’t know— fulfilled some prophecy told long ago to return again some day and heal his people and save them from death? Boy, that’d be neat. And the ones that don’t want that king to return? They can just go light themselves on fire, I tell you what.

    To access this subscriber-exclusive content, go to BabylonBee.com/plans. Support The Babylon Bee, enjoy the extra content, and join the community of subscribers reading good books together!


    The Bee Weekly: Name That Christian Rock Music Lyric And Making Good Comics Nov 19, 2021

    Kyle and Ethan are joined by artist and comic creator Brian E. Lau to Name That Christian Rock Music Lyric and to discuss the importance of telling good stories with high quality art. Christian Rock sometimes has some interesting lyrics. Let's see if The Babylon Bee guys can figure out which lyric is real or fake and also name the rock music group who wrote it. Brian brought Christmas to The Bee early with his bag of goodies like signed copies of Staunch Ambition and Inferno City Firehouse. If comic books with excellent art and stories worth telling are your kind of thing, be sure to check them out. Of course, there is the usual shenanigans at The Bee, like weird news, subscriber dares, and glorious, salty hate mail.

    Brian E. Lau is the creator of the comics Inferno City Firehouse and Staunch Ambition. Check out his amazing books at: https://www.staunchambition.com/

    The guys talk about what’s going on this week at The Bee, what’s banging and bombing, and read interesting comments from The Babylon Bee YouTube channel. In this week’s weird news a baby was born with a “ball” tail, a duck ran a marathon, and a woman found a website that falsely advertised a hitman service. Two Canadian burglars are really bad at what they do, and there is weird animal news involving owls, possums, and steers. Kyle is unimpressed with yet another Guinness World Record.

    The guys open their Christmas presents from Brian E. Lau and then try to Name That Christian Rock Lyric. They read this week’s hatemail before diving into the subscriber lounge.

    In the subscriber lounge, they answer some subscriber questions, read extra bonus hate mail, and ask Brian E. Lau The Ten Questions!


    Rush Limbaugh’s Producer Bo Snerdley Talks About Rush, Racism, and Politics Nov 16, 2021

    On The Babylon Bee Interview Show, James Golden aka Bo Snerdley talks about being Rush Limbaugh's right hand man, if Rush Limbaugh was racist, and how the political world has changed over the years. James started as the call screener and quickly became the Senior Producer for Rush Limbaugh. Since then James has written a new book titled, "Rush on the Radio," where he talks about the behind the scenes of working with Rush Limbaugh. He also created a podcast titled "Rush Limbaugh: The Man Behind the Golden EIB Microphone."

    Kyle and Ethan hear all the cool stories from James’ past working with Rush and speaking at Republican conferences. James talks about why he has such a deep respect for Rush. He talks about how comedy and satire helped build the Rush radio empire. Kyle and Ethan hear about James’ favorite parody song they did on Rush’s show. James gives his take on President Obama and his healthcare plan.

    In the Subscriber Portion, Kyle and Ethan find out about celebrities that were secret fans of Rush. Kyle gets James’ take on CRT and what it means for the next generation's schools. Ethan gets James’ perspective being a black Republican and how others have viewed him. As always the interview ends with the ever glorious 10 questions.


    The Bee Reads LOTR Episode 32: The Hooves of Wrath Nov 13, 2021

    Kyle, Dan, and Michael, accompanied by Babylon Bee subscriber JustFrancesca, continue reading through The Lord of the Rings with subscribers of The Babylon Bee and enter the chapters The Ride of the Rohirrim and The Battle of the Pelennor Fields. Is old king Theoden up for one last battle like Rocky Balboa? Is Dernhelm genderfluid? It’s a roller coaster of a battle with plenty of eucatastrophe in this week’s episode!

    To access this subscriber-exclusive content, go to BabylonBee.com/plans. Support The Babylon Bee, enjoy the extra content, and join the community of subscribers reading good books together!


    THE BEE WEEKLY: Leftist Memes and What’s Wrong With Modern Conservatives Nov 12, 2021

    Kyle and Ethan are joined by AlfonZo Rachel from Bronze Serpent Media to talk about leftist memes and the problem with modern conservatives. They also talked about the week’s weird news like how a third of millennials identify as gay or trans and two bald eagles got into a street fight proving that the bald eagle is the perfect bird to represent the United States. All this and more on The Bee Weekly!

    Be sure to check out Zo’s YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/machosauceproduction

    And Zo’s website: http://bronzeserpentmedia.com

    Kyle, Ethan, and Zo talk about how atheists were fast and furiously tipping their fedoras over our latest interview with Eric Metaxas and get a subscriber dare involving Canadian patriotism. The weird news this week includes a stripper’s monkey who bit a child on Halloween, a bald eagle brawl, another update on what the bears are up to, and an 8-year-old girl who is braver than you are. Also don’t jump into piranha infested waters, or eat tacos in space without a space plumber, or have your doctor write you a prescription for Climate Change.

    Kyle, Ethan, and Zo then analyze some leftist memes so that, as conservatives, they can up their game, learning from the masters of comedy. Then, Zo fires off with what’s wrong with modern conservatives and why they keep getting the football taken away from them like poor Charlie Brown.As usual, there is some hate mail which is pretty, pretty, pretty good.

    In the subscriber lounge, Zo answers The Ten Questions and helps Kyle and Ethan read bonus hate mail and subscriber headlines of the week. Also there are two mystery Babylon Bee subscribers who make an appearance!


    Why Atheism is Dead | A Bee Interview with Eric Metaxas Nov 09, 2021

    On The Babylon Interview Show, Eric Metaxas talks to Adam and Ethan about why Atheism is now dead, becoming a comedy writer, and Dave Chappelle's latest controversy. Eric's latest book 'Is Atheism Dead?' responds to the "Is God Dead?" question by revealing new evidence that supports Christianity more than Atheism. Eric first gained fame for being the keynote speaker at the National prayer breakfast. He has written many biographies including his most famous, Bonhoeffer. Eric currently hosts the nationally syndicated radio program the 'Eric Metaxas Radio Show.'

    Adam and Ethan find out Eric’s journey into becoming a national bestselling author. They find out about the Ex-Lax commercial that started Eric’s career. Ethan and Eric connect on both having worked on VeggieTales. Adam finds out how the Yale Humor magazine helped shape Eric. Eric shares how the media narrative of him going from an intellectual to a Trump supporter is wrong and what he thinks about the whole situation. Adam and Ethan find out the story behind Eric’s Trump children’s books.

    In the Subscriber Portion, Adam and Ethan play a game with Eric to see if he can say good things about some of the worst people in our current society. Eric talks about his new book ‘Is Atheism Dead’ and how he stumbled into an extraordinary topic. Adam and Ethan ask Eric the ever great 10 questions and get one of the best punching stories.


    The Bee Reads LOTR Episode 31: The Siege of Gondor Nov 06, 2021

    Kyle, Dan, and Michael continue reading through The Lord of the Rings with subscribers of The Babylon Bee finally reaching the chapters The Muster of Rohan and The Siege of Gondor. What are the Púkel-men and why must we catch them all? Does Gandalf have a backup staff in case the Witch King of Angmar shows up? Does experience playing Command & Conquer: Red Alert 2 give you practical skills for life and war? Find out by tuning in!

    To access this subscriber-exclusive content, go to BabylonBee.com/plans. Support The Babylon Bee, enjoy the extra content, and join the community of subscribers reading good books together!


    THE BEE WEEKLY: Pokémon Fraud, Tacos in Space, and Is This Racist? Nov 05, 2021

    Managing Editor of The Babylon Bee Joel Berry is in town for this Bee Weekly to talk with Kyle and Ethan about Pokémon fraud possibly resulting in 20 years in prison, how tacos in space are a terrible idea, and how to tell if stick figures, starfish, and traffic lights are racist.

    Learn how to be woke with The Babylon Bee Guide to Wokeness.

    Kyle, Ethan, and Joel read YouTube comments, answer a subscriber dare, and talk about The Babylon Bee’s banger and bomb articles of the week. Then they talk about the week’s weird news like cocaine hippos now being considered people, a teacher of the year punching a student, and bats are now winning awards that rightfully belong to birds.Adam Yenser joins the guys to play a new game: Is It Racist? Of course, they read the latest of The Bee’s everflowing hate mail.

    In the subscriber lounge, they read mail from a subscriber who almost lost her job because of The Babylon Bee, a fan who is beginning to tell Kyle and Ethan’s voices apart, and a man with a vulgar email address telling The Babylon Bee how to be Christians. The guys dig into whether more things are racist and then Joel Berry answers The Next Ten Questions.


    Sexpert Debra Soh Talks To Christian Prudes At The Babylon Bee Nov 02, 2021

    Sexpert Debra Soh joins awkward Christian prudes at The Babylon Bee to talk about sex, gender, and wokeness. Dr. Debra Soh is a sex neuroscientist, the author of The End of Gender and the host of The Debra Soh Podcast. She has appeared on The Megyn Kelly Show, Real Time with Bill Maher, the Joe Rogan Experience twice, and recently spoke at the Oxford Union.

    Kyle and Ethan find out how Gen-Z’s views on sex are hurting their generation from Dr. Debra Soh. They go through Debra Soh’s myths on gender that seem to all be created with this new generation. Dr. Soh gives tools for parents on how to talk about gender and sexual orientation with their children and schools. Kyle and Ethan get Dr. Soh’s opinion on other hot button issues like what research has shown on growing up with Gay and Lesbian parents and the conversations scientists are being forbidden to talk about. Kyle and Ethan talk about purity culture and the effects it had on our culture.

    On The Subscriber Portion, Kyle and Ethan talk about Dave Chappelle’s latest special. Dr. Soh goes on why this kind of activism will only lead to trouble for the Transgender community. Ethan shares his experience with furries. Dr. Soh shares what she learned about the furry community and her time learning about sexual fetishes.


    The Bee Reads LOTR Episode 30: The Steward and the King Oct 30, 2021

    The kings have returned to read The Return of the King. Kyle, Dan, and Michael continue reading through The Lord of the Rings with the chapters Minas Tirith and The Passing of the Grey Company. They finally arrive at the big city and the stronghold of the men of the West just as the hammer of the forces of evil is about to fall upon it. Aragorn also visits the dead and steps foot onto his rightful land. Kyle, Dan, and Michael discuss the actions of the steward, the returning king, and the brave hobbits who step up to fight the big people’s war.

    To access this subscriber-exclusive content, go to BabylonBee.com/plans. Support The Babylon Bee, enjoy the extra content, and join the community of subscribers reading good books together!


    THE BEE WEEKLY: A G.K. Chesterton Special With Dale Ahlquist and Cheese Oct 29, 2021

    It's Chestermania 2021 at The Babylon Bee and Kyle and Ethan are joined by the President of the Society of G.K. Chesterton, Dale Ahlquist. Dale has been called the greatest living authority on the life and work of G.K. Chesterton and has authored five books on Chesterton, including Common Sense 101: Lessons from Chesterton and G.K. Chesterton: Apostle of Common Sense. Why should people start reading Chesterton and where should they begin? What are some of Chesterton's big concepts that help to unlock an understanding of his writings? What would Chesterton say about Cheetos?

    Be sure to check out The Society of Gilbert Keith Chesterton at: https://www.chesterton.org/

    Kyle, Ethan, and Dale, accompanied by Adam Yenser play a special edition of Real or Fake where the headlines are all supposedly weird news headlines from a hundred years ago. They discuss how prophetic Chesterton was and talk about his prominent books and essays that you must read to not waste your life. Then in the subscriber portion, they discuss cheese and Chesterton’s big concepts that he returned to again and again throughout his life’s work. Dale answers subscriber-submitted G.K. Questertons and is subjected to The Ten Questions!


    The Simpsons and Progressive Christianity | A Bee Interview With Michael J. Kruger Oct 26, 2021

    On The Babylon Bee Interview Show, Kyle and Ethan talk to Michael J. Kruger about The Ten Commandments of Progressive Christianity, the theology of the Simpsons, and how Christians can survive college with Root Beer Pong. Michael J. Kruger is President and Professor of New Testament and Early Christianity at Reformed Theological Seminary. He has written several books, including his latest Surviving Religion 101: Letters to a Christian Student on Keeping the Faith in College. He also runs his website, where he talks about exploring the origins of the New Testament canon and other biblical and theological issues.

    Check out Michael J. Kruger's book on Progressive Christianity here: https://www.amazon.com/Commandments-Progressive-Christianity-Cruciform-Quick/dp/194925321X

    Check out Kruger's website: https://www.michaeljkruger.com/

    Kyle and Ethan give Michael a few icebreaker questions to help get to know him better. Michael gives some surprising answers to what he would be doing if he wasn’t a president of a reformed university. Kyle and Ethan dive in deep to the 10 commandments of Progressive Christianity. Michael gives his explanation for the origin of where these commandments came from.

    After hearing about the book, Kyle and Ethan dive into a game of Root Beer pong with Michael. They each take turns shooting ping pong balls and asking Michael questions about Theology, personal questions, and monkeys. Once they finish drinking all the cream soda, Kyle and Ethan transition to playing a Theology Simpsons trivia game with Michael.

    In the Subscriber Portion, Ethan finds out about Michael’s views on the canonization of the bible. Kyle finds out if Michael had a God’s Not Dead experience while he was in college. Michael gives his grade on Church leadership in our current culture. Ethan and Kyle ask Michael the ever amazing 10 questions.


    THE BEE WEEKLY: Explain The Joke, Poor Wizards, And A Surprise For Dan Oct 22, 2021

    The Atlantic tries to make The Babylon Bee's Kyle Mann explain why the joke is funny on this episode of The Bee Weekly. Kyle and Ethan are joined by Eli Chance and The Bee's own Bettina to dramatically reenact an encounter in which a barely awake Kyle was put on the spot to explain the joke and to give a defense against the accusation that Jesus would not want Christians to mock wokeness for a living. There's weird news like how shocking it is how little wizards earn in New Zealand and The Bee Team surprises Dan. As always, there is glorious hate mail.

    Eli Chance is a comedy writer and performer. Check out some of his work on YouTube.

    Be sure to pre-order The Babylon Bee Guide To Wokeness which is dropping on November 2.

    Kyle, Ethan, and Eli find out what the kids are saying these days and how “bomb” is not lit and is pretty sus. Then they break down this week’s weird news. The Bee’s own Bettina is brought in to dramatically reenact Kyle’s interview with The Atlantic. The Bee Team surprises Dan with a sweet gift and then this week’s hate mail is a lengthy saga of The Babylon Bee not noticing this person who kept sending us messages for months.

    In this week’s subscriber lounge, Kyle, Ethan, Eli, and Dan read bonus hate mail, questions from subscribers about Harrowing Hell and killing Hitler, and then Eli and Dan both answer The Next Ten Questions. Subscribe or click Join on YouTube to watch it all!


    Apologetics and Witnessing to Black Hebrew Israelites | A Bee Interview With Vocab Malone Oct 19, 2021

    On The Babylon Bee Interview Show, Kyle and Ethan talk about apologetics and witnessing to Black Hebrew Israelites with Vocab Malone. Vocab Malone gained prominence for street rapping the gospel and witnessing to Black Hebrew Israelites. He shows why Black Hebrew Israelites are a movement we need to take seriously.

    He has a YouTube Channel, where he shares his street evangelization.

    Kyle and Ethan find out the history of Black Hebrew Israelites. They find out why Vocab has become an expert on the topic and why everyone should be aware of the rising popularity of the group. Vocab explains why diversity doesn’t bring Orthodoxy and why he disagrees with the Black Hebrew Israelites so strongly. Kyle and Ethan find out how good Vocab is at defining new words. Ethan freestyles with Vocab while Kyle tries to moderate.

    In the Subscriber Portion, Kyle and Ethan find out about Vocab’s past satire videos and web series. Vocab shares stories of helping convert Black Hebrew Israelites. Vocab ends the interview with the ever great 10 questions.


    THE BEE WEEKLY: Headlines With Pie, Culture Gets Kunkled, and Robocop is Real Oct 15, 2021

    Kyle, Ethan, and Brett Kunkle from MAVEN guess which headlines are real or fake and have to eat mystery pie if they guess wrong. Brett Kunkle also kunkles some culture and helps us discern what is good or harmful in pop culture today. There’s weird news headlines, glorious hate mail, and other shenanigans going on at The Babylon Bee.

    Be sure to check out MAVEN which exists to help the next generation know truth, pursue goodness, and create beauty, all for the cause of Christ at: http://maventruth.com

    Don’t miss the upcoming Bee interview with Vocab Malone. See Vocab’s YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/VocabMalone

    Kyle, Ethan and Brett Kunkle talk about the Maven Parent podcast and how conversations about Animal Crossing in the recent Bee Interview with James Poulos were deemed by Twitter to be intense. They talk about Bee articles that are banging and bombing and then get into this week’s weird news. The guys play Headlines With Pie and Kunkle Culture before reading a glorious hate mail about how our website has become literary pornography.

    In the subscriber lounge, they read top subscriber-submitted headlines, special love mail, bonus hate mail, and finally subject Brett to the Next Ten Questions, giving the Bee the opportunity to show off their new trolly dilemma display featuring Lego replicas of Kyle, Ethan, and The Newsboys.


    Animal Crossing is Demonic | A Bee Interview With James Poulos Oct 12, 2021

    The Claremont Institute's James Poulos talks about how Animal Crossing is destroying your soul and how your smartphone is crossing into the demonic. James Poulos is the Executive Editor of the American Mind, the Claremont Institute’s online publication. He is a frequent commentator on technology, the American character, and social scores for Kyle and Ethan.

    Check out BetterHelp.com/BabylonBee for 10% off

    Kyle and Ethan start out the interview by playing a few icebreakers with James to get to know him better. Since James speaks about our dystopian future, Kyle and Ethan find out which dystopian movie world he would want to live in. James talks about the spiritual warfare taking place within technology. He gives his thoughts on the new social scores the government will want to use for the population in the near future. Kyle and Ethan find out how difficult it is to keep a high score in our dystopian future. Kyle and Ethan have James explain the Great Reset using Mario characters.

    In the Subscriber Portion, Kyle and Ethan find out James’ thoughts on the best videogames of all time. Ethan finds out about what it’s like to be on the Bill Maher show. James gives his thoughts on Edward Snowden and how it affected America. Kyle and Ethan ask the ever great 10 questions and get a great Keanu Reeves story out of James.


    THE BEE WEEKLY: Bee Outtakes, Weight Loss Cult, and Homicidal Whales Oct 08, 2021

    Kyle, Ethan, and Adam talk about their favorite hilarious Babylon Bee Outtakes that didn’t make the final cut of Babylon Bee sketches, the new HBO Max documentary on Gwen Shamblin Lara and her weight loss cult as another Hero of the Faith, and Homicide Whales now being a thing. The Bee guys go through weird news of the week and salty hate mail too.

    You can now Join the Launch Team for The Babylon Bee Guide to Wokeness. Pre-order your copy today!

    Check out Adam Yenser’s YouTube channel and stand-up comedy schedule (http://adamyenser.com/).

    Be on the lookout for the next Babylon Bee Interview featuring James Poulos to learn why cellphones are demonic.

    Kyle, Ethan, and Adam talk about their week at the Bee, the Banger Article of the Week, the Bomb Article of the Week, and weird news like how squirrels hate the metric system and homicide whales now being on the loose. They then talk about a weight loss cult featured in a new HBO Max documentary The Way Down and how the cult’s leader’s hair gained weight as she gained influence in yet another segment of Heroes of the Faith.

    Then the Bee guys talk about their favorite outtakes from The Babylon Bee sketches on YouTube and give everyone a peak at what Bee subscribers have been enjoying for a while now. The Bee gets hate mail for making fun of Christians and then the guys jump into the subscriber-exclusive lounge for bonus hate and love mail, top subscriber-submitted headlines of the week, and the classic article of the week.

    To get the Lounge, click Join on YouTube or go to http://babylonbee.com/plans.


    Australia, Aquinas, and Arguing for Christianity - A Bee Interview With Matt Fradd Oct 05, 2021

    On The Babylon Bee Interview Show, Ethan and Michael talk to Matt Fradd about Aquinas’ view on happiness, the tyranny of Australia, and how comedy from liberals is going down hill. Matt Fradd hosts the popular podcast, Pints with Aquinas, where he interviews religious figures and hosts debates on Christianity. He has written several books, including his new one How To Be Happy: Saint Thomas’ Secret to a Good Life available wherever you buy books.

    Ethan and Michael run through a few ice breakers in order to get to know Matt a little better. They get into the meat of the interview finding out what Aquinas would say about today’s culture and his remedies are for sorrow. Matt gives his distinction on why being happy shouldn’t be the end all be all. Michael finds a way to slip in a test on the Lord of the Rings books while Ethan takes a long nap. Ethan finds out more about how Matt, as an Australian, views the lockdowns going on over in Australia. Ethan and Michael then try to test Matt Fradd’s knowledge of Saints.

    In the Subscriber Portion, Ethan and Michael find out where Aquinas had views that would be deemed wrong by the Catholic Church today. They go through a few subscriber questions like finding out if Trent Horn is tall and whether he believes in the bodily resurrection. Michael quizzes Matt on a few insider Catholic hot button topics. They end the interview with the ever glorious 10 questions.


    The Bee Reads LOTR Episode 29: Star, Sting, and Spider Oct 02, 2021

    Kyle, Dan, and Michael continue reading through The Lord of the Rings in Shelob’s Lair and The Choices of Master Samwise. They discuss how masterful a horror writer Tolkien was and how most modern storytelling pales in comparison, the importance of always using the right tool for the job, and how even a simple hobbit from the Shire with a little light can advance against evil and drive the darkness back.

    To access this subscriber-exclusive content, go to BabylonBee.com/plans. Support The Babylon Bee, enjoy the extra content, and join the community of subscribers reading good books together!


    THE BEE WEEKLY: Vaccine Mandates from God, Woke Wrestling, and Kissing in Portland Oct 01, 2021

    It's a discussion on vaccine mandates this week on The Bee Weekly. Ethan Nicolle, Adam Yenser, and Kira Davis from RedState talk mandates, woke wrestling, and how it is now legal to kiss in Portland if you are vaccinated. Adam Yenser quizzes Kira and Ethan on whether headlines are real or fake. Kira answers subscriber questions in the subscriber lounge.

    Check out Kira Davis on her podcast, Just Listen To Yourself.

    Check out Adam Yenser’s YouTube channel and stand-up comedy schedule.

    The Bee’s New Guide to Wokeness is coming out and You Can Join The Launch Team! Some people offered some criticism of The Bee’s recent interview with Dr. Mary Grabar on her new book Debunking the 1619 Project. One of the Bee’s subscribers is looking for love at the Bee in a Subscriber Dare. It’s another Weekly, so the show looks at the Banger and Dud of the Week before diving head first into some weird news. Kira and Ethan are contestants on a new game show called ‘Which Headline is Real?’ run by Adam. After that, they discuss the vaccine mandates from the God of New York Governor Hochul. There’s also the usual salty hate mail.

    There’s bonus hatemail you won’t want to miss in the subscriber/YouTube Superfan-exclusive lounge, Kira Davis answers our subscriber-submitted questions, and then all three of our hosts read the top subscriber headlines of the week.


    A Gen Zer Warning - A Bee Interview With "Hollowed Out" Author Jeremy S. Adams Sep 28, 2021

    On the Babylon Bee Interview Show, Kyle and Ethan talk to Jeremy S. Adams about working with the Gen Zer student, the warning about this new generation, and anxiety in kids. Jeremy S. Adams has been a teacher for both the high school and the college levels. He thinks that teachers have a front row seat to America’s decline with Generation Z. Kyle and Ethan find out why everyone should read his book Hollowed Out and why this warning needs to be heard by everyone. Check out BetterHelp.com/BabylonBee for 10% off

    Kyle and Ethan take some time to get to know him by playing some ice breakers before finding out why this Generation Z is going to have a tough time in the future. Jeremy gives Kyle and Ethan the questions that the publisher gave to every interviewer and asks a surprisingly great question. Jeremy goes into the anxiety he has been seeing with the kids he’s been teaching. Jeremy tells all about why this generation is different from all generations before it.

    In the Subscriber Portion, Kyle and Ethan get some cool stories out of Jeremy like when a drug deal happened in the back of his classroom or when he hurt himself as a young teacher. Ethan finds out what Jeremy’s favorite tv show to show his classes. They also find out about Jeremy’s favorite depiction of a teacher in the media. As always they ask the ever great 10 questions.


    The Bee Reads LOTR Episode 28: King’s Crown Sep 25, 2021

    Kyle, Dan, and Michael continue reading through The Lord of the Rings in Journey to the Cross-Roads and The Stairs of Cirith Ungol. They discuss how evil is only a twisted distortion of what is good, how holding on to the good helps us to reject the bad, and how the king has got a crown again. Also, what’s the deal with all these stairs?

    To access this subscriber-exclusive content, go to BabylonBee.com/plans. Support The Babylon Bee, enjoy the extra content, and join the community of subscribers reading good books together!


    THE BEE WEEKLY: Debunking the 1619 Project and Taliban Paddle Boats Sep 24, 2021

    In this episode of The Bee Weekly, cancelled standup comedian Josh Denny joins Kyle and Ethan to talk about what’s been going on at The Babylon Bee this week, how Hitler opposed vaccine mandates, and how smart people are making blood bricks on Mars. Kyle and Ethan also talk to Dr. Mary Grabar about her new book, Debunking the 1619 Project.

    Kyle, Ethan, and Josh discuss the Bee’s ‘Banger of the Week’ and ‘Dud of the Week’ and then jump into weird news like how scientists are planning on making blood bricks on Mars, how Hitler opposed vaccine mandates, and a couple that drives drunk together. A man decides to give up his life to become a hobbit, a new beer is illegal in 15 states, and the Taliban’s new feared weapon is a paddle boat. Even cats and dogs are getting in on Guinness World Records.

    Kyle and Ethan talk to Dr. Mary Grabar who has previously debunked Howard Zinn to find out how she debunked the 1619 Project and whether she sleeps in a debunk bed. Someone doesn’t like the Bee’s new poop emoji shirt in this week’s Hate Mail. Finally, the show moves to the subscriber-exclusive lounge where Kyle, Ethan, and Josh go into the Bee archives for the classic article of the week where Jesus turned water into grape juice, subscriber headlines of the week, and bonus hate mail.


    The David Storrs Interview | Pranks, Scare Tactics, and Scaring People Sep 20, 2021

    On The Babylon Bee Interview Show, Kyle and Ethan talk to David Storrs about the process of making prank videos, Fameless, and the one prank show David regrets making. Ethan reveals himself as a connoisseur for prank shows with David being one of his ultimate favorite pranksters. David has worked on the prank shows, Fameless, Scare Tactics, and Fright Club. David shares how he loves being in the awkward moments and how far he’s willing to go in order to get them.

    Kyle and Ethan find out how some of the funniest pranks came to be. David shares stories of pranks that never made it to air and even the horror stories that happen when dealing with people that have no idea they’re on camera. David shares stories of one of his favorite shows, Double Cross with Blake Griffin that should be getting a lot more attention.

    In the Subscriber Portion, Kyle and Ethan hear a cool story from David about the time a cop pulled a gun on him. David shares his holy grail of pranks that he has never been able to pull off. David goes into injuries that have happened while pranking. Ethan finds out more about David’s views on conversation culture, instead of cancel culture. As always they end with the ever great 10 questions.


    The Bee Reads LOTR Episode 27: Faramir Yeets Filmamir Sep 18, 2021

    Kyle, Dan, and Michael continue reading through The Lord of the Rings in The Window on the West and The Forbidden Pool. They discuss how book Faramir completely owns weak cry baby Filmamir, how our culture can’t process a character that is virtuous and good, and Frodo coming back to his central decision to show mercy to the one who wants to throttle him. To access this subscriber-exclusive content, go to BabylonBee.com/plans. Support The Babylon Bee, enjoy the extra content, and join the community of subscribers reading good books together!


    THE BEE WEEKLY: The Bee’s New Book and Remembering Norm Macdonald Sep 17, 2021

    In this episode of The Bee Weekly, musician Chandler Juliet joins Kyle and Ethan to talk about what’s been going on at The Babylon Bee this week, The Babylon Bee’s new book that is available for pre-order now called The Babylon Bee Guide to Wokeness, and the saddest news ever about Norm Macdonald’s passing. In the subscriber-exclusive lounge, Adam Yenser joins in to discuss his memories of working with Norm Macdonald.

    Keep up with Chandler Juliet:

    Music:

    https://fanlink.to/ChandlerLoveLanguage

    YouTube:

    https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYJAxrOiTRmgPSZrrZ9jL8g

    Instagram:

    https://www.instagram.com/chandlerjofficial/

    Kyle, Ethan, and Chandler discuss the Bee’s ‘Banger of the Week’ and ‘Dud of the Week’ and then jump into weird news like a man considering veganism after what he finds in his McDonald’s sandwich, a trans MMA fighter dominating the women, and a cat is saved by the American flag. A rhino gets airlifted upside down, a man swallows his cell phone, and Florida man fills a pothole, but maybe creates another problem.

    The Babylon Bee has a new book: The Babylon Bee Guide to Wokeness, available for pre-order now. Kyle, Ethan, and Chandler talk about all the cool stuff inside. Then they remember the great Norm Macdonald and all the ways he made us laugh. There’s plenty of hatemail too.

    Finally, the show moves to the subscriber-exclusive lounge where Kyle, Ethan, and Chandler are joined by Adam Yenser who actually worked with Norm Macdonald and has cool stories about him. There’s bonus hate mail, the subscriber-submitted headlines of the week, The Babylon Bee’s classic article of the week, and more.


    The Jonathan Pageau Interview | Monsters, Hidden Symbols, and Jordan Peterson’s Church Experience Sep 14, 2021

    On The Babylon Bee Interview Show, Kyle and Ethan talk to Jonathan Pageau about making Christian carvings, monsters, and the breakdown of identity in our culture. Jonathan carves Eastern Orthodox images and other traditional images. He has been appearing on many podcasts, including one on Jordan Peterson’s podcast. Jonathan has a knack for discovering the hidden meaning behind things. Kyle and Ethan delve in deep on why we need symbolism and how the Bee is making the world turn right side up again.

    Check out BetterHelp.com/BabylonBee for 10% off

    Kyle and Ethan first find out what informs Jonathan’s art and why he can make images of Christ and other Eastern Orthodox figures. Jonathan tells us how it was to be with Jordan Peterson in church. Ethan discovers the hidden meaning behind his love for monsters and the grotesque. Jonathan gives his criticism of our culture that is losing the idea of identity.

    In the Subscriber Portion, Kyle and Ethan find out what Target’s logo means, along with a few others. Jonathan tells all about what is the biggest misuse of symbolism in churches in our current culture. He also gives us what he terms as the upside down hierarchy with The Babylon Bee as the hope to help turn things right side up again. As always Kyle and Ethan finish the interview with the ever great 10 questions.


    The Bee Reads LOTR Episode 26: Black Gate Closed And Potatoes Sep 12, 2021

    Kyle, Dan, and Michael continue reading through The Lord of the Rings in The Black Gate is Closed and Of Herbs and Stewed Rabbit. They discuss how rude it is for Sauron to keep his front door locked, Sam taking time off from saving the world to cook some stew, and the tremendous importance of potatoes.

    To access this subscriber-exclusive content, go to BabylonBee.com/plans. Support The Babylon Bee, enjoy the extra content, and join the community of subscribers reading good books together!


    THE BEE WEEKLY: Fact Check Checks and Losing Your Job for Holding Common Opinions Sep 10, 2021

    In this episode of The Bee Weekly, Ethan Nicolle is joined by Adam Yenser to discuss what happened this week, like a man losing his job for expressing an opinion half of Americans have. Also, who will check the fact checkers? There’s weird news, hate mail, and lots of tarantulas.

    Ethan and Adam talk about their weeks and get into weird news. Keep your eyes out for the next Bee Interview with Jonathan Pageau which will be dropping next week. A bunch of tarantulas and a snake were found abandoned in a basement, a man tried to smuggle 350 pounds of meat across the border, and some weird human crab was dashing around a neighborhood. California is requiring gender-neutral child displays and toy aisles, Ford made a very gay raptor, and vegan speed-eating is apparently a thing.

    Ethan and Adam introduce a new segment of Fact Check Check. Who checks the fact checkers? The Babylon Bee. Then they discuss a video game company CEO losing his job for expressing the controversial opinion that half of America shares that unborn babies should be protected from being murdered. There’s hate mail too and then Adam Yenser answers The Next Ten Questions in the Subscriber Lounge.


    The Dr. Owen Strachan Interview | Woke Culture, Escaping Oppression, and Dissecting Movies Sep 07, 2021

    On The Babylon Bee Interview Show, Kyle and Ethan talk to Dr. Owen Strachan about defining wokeness, never escaping your oppression, and the deeper meaning behind the movie, 1917. Owen Strachan is the Provost and Research Professor of Theology at Grace Bible Theological Seminary. He received his Ph.D from Trinity Evangelical Divinity School. Dr. Owen has written several books, including his latest book, Christianity and Wokeness, where he speaks on the new philosophy that is infecting churches with Marxist ideology.

    Kyle and Ethan dig in deep with Dr. Owen about defining wokeness and how it has been affecting churches. Dr. Owen describes how the wokeness ideology keeps people from ever leaving their oppression. He goes onto describing how white people are being told that they can never escape themselves being oppressors. Kyle and Ethan find out more about the complex issues that are fueling wokeness.

    In the subscriber portion, Kyle and Ethan find out more about Dr. Owen’s views on the movie, 1917 and how the director, Sam Mendes is up to something deeper than mere movie gimmicks. Kyle and Ethan continue their streak of flawless segues by moving the conversation into why Dr. Owen has problems with Thomas Aquinas. Kyle and Ethan fulfill their promise and find out from Dr. Owen on how to stop wokeness in your church. They finish the interview with the ever amazing 10 questions.


    The Dr. Owen Strachan Interview | Woke Culture, Escaping Oppression, and Dissecting Movies Sep 07, 2021

    On The Babylon Bee Interview Show, Kyle and Ethan talk to Dr. Owen Strachan about defining wokeness, never escaping your oppression, and the deeper meaning behind the movie, 1917. Owen Strachan is the Provost and Research Professor of Theology at Grace Bible Theological Seminary. He received his Ph.D from Trinity Evangelical Divinity School. Dr. Owen has written several books, including his latest book, Christianity and Wokeness, where he speaks on the new philosophy that is infecting churches with Marxist ideology.

    Kyle and Ethan dig in deep with Dr. Owen about defining wokeness and how it has been affecting churches. Dr. Owen describes how the wokeness ideology keeps people from ever leaving their oppression. He goes onto describing how white people are being told that they can never escape themselves being oppressors. Kyle and Ethan find out more about the complex issues that are fueling wokeness.

    In the subscriber portion, Kyle and Ethan find out more about Dr. Owen’s views on the movie, 1917 and how the director, Sam Mendes is up to something deeper than mere movie gimmicks. Kyle and Ethan continue their streak of flawless segues by moving the conversation into why Dr. Owen has problems with Thomas Aquinas. Kyle and Ethan fulfill their promise and find out from Dr. Owen on how to stop wokeness in your church. They finish the interview with the ever amazing 10 questions.


    The Bee Reads LOTR Episode 25: Ninnyhammers and Noodles! Sep 04, 2021

    Kyle and Dan are joined by their new friend Michael to discuss the first two chapters of Book Four, The Taming of Sméagol and The Passage of the Marshes. They discuss the obvious tonal shift from book three to book four, the importance of gratitude that each day we are alive and unthrottled, and how you should always pack a rope unless you want to be a ninnyhammer.

    To access this subscriber exclusive content, go to http://babylonbee.com/plans


    THE BEE WEEKLY: Punk Rock Nature and the Roller Coaster of Doom Sep 03, 2021

    Kyle and Ethan are joined this week by political commentator Bill Whittle to talk about blue checks on Twitter calling conservatives the American Taliban, weird news of the week like Japanese death rides, and a nature documentary series that doesn’t hate God called The Riot and the Dance!

    Be sure to check out Bill Whittle’s website and show called The Right Angle.

    First, the guys tackle this week’s weird news like a Japanese roller coaster that is breaking people’s necks, a Kentucky school with a furry problem, and a Texas father that strips down to his underwear to prove a point. Mountain Dew Flamin’ Hot is out now, kids are pledging allegiance to the pride flag, and some cows go through the McDonald’s Drive-Thru. China doesn’t want their kids wasting their time playing video games and a video game Guinness World Record was also broken.

    Kyle and Ethan then talk to N.D. Wilson about his new nature documentary, The Riot and the Dance, which doesn’t hate the fact that God created everything. You will want to tune in to this episode for what could be the greatest hate mail ever.

    Kyle, Ethan and Bill read some bonus hate mail and the top subscriber-submitted headlines of the week in the subscriber lounge. Then Bill Whittle answers the Ten Questions.


    John Schlitt of Petra Interview | Christian Rock, Winning Over Crowds, and Finding Jesus Aug 31, 2021

    On The Babylon Bee Interview Show, Kyle and Ethan talk to Petra lead vocalist, John Schlitt. They talk about the journey to front man of Petra, almost getting swept out to sea, and his views on the top Christian music artists. John had a long road into becoming the lead vocalist of Petra that dealt with lots of hardship and an engineering job along the way. Check out BetterHelp.com/BabylonBee for 10% off

    Kyle and Ethan ask John the difficult questions like, which musician is the flakiest. Kyle and Ethan find out what John’s dream team of musicians would be for a super Christian band. John shares stories from playing all over the world. He also shares his secret for getting crowds on his side for shows.

    In the Subscriber Portion, Kyle and Ethan find out about Carman from John, who filmed a music video with him. John shares a story with a difficult crowd over in New York. Kyle and Ethan find out about some of the biggest Christian bands and what John thought about them when they started out. Kyle and Ethan end the interview with the ever great 10 questions.


    The Bee Reads LOTR Episode 24: The Treason of Isengard Aug 28, 2021

    Kyle and Dan from The Babylon Bee read The Lord of the Rings with the subscribers of The Babylon Bee. This time they wrap up Book 3 with The Voice of Saruman and The Palintir chapters. As the band formerly known as the Fellowship of the Ring encounters Saruman, will there be a big epic wizard duel at Saruman’s crazy tower? Where is that round spikey wheel dealie wizard device that we saw in the movie? How does Middle-Earth have cell reception? All these questions and more will be raised on The Bee Reads.

    To watch or listen to this episode become a subscriber to The Babylon Bee: http://babylonbee.com/plans


    THE BEE WEEKLY: Free Will and the Problem of Drunk Driving Elephants Aug 27, 2021

    Kyle and Ethan are joined by our friendly neighborhood professor of theology, Dr. Thaddeus Williams. He is the author of Confronting Injustice Without Compromising Truth and God Reforms Hearts: Rethinking Free Will and the Problem of Evil. As usual, they dig into the weird news of the week, but they also get an update from Ethan’s wife about her experience getting a mandatory jab and talk to Dr. Williams about how free will doesn’t get God off the hook for all the evil in the world.

    First, the guys get an update from Ethan’s wife Jess about what happened to her after getting a mandatory jab so she could keep her job. Then, the Bee wishes Bill Powers a very happy and healthy 75th birthday! The guys try to think of their stories of being 18 years old for a Subscriber Dare since they will do just about anything for money. The weird news keeps coming and this week it includes naked stabbing matches, a romantic man stealing 50 cars for his 16 girlfriends, and Sri Lanka banning the drunk driving of elephants. They also get updates on Larry Elder being the black face to white supremacy, a ladybug living in some dude’s colon, and another record smashed by the person with perhaps the world record in number of world records.

    Kyle and Ethan ask Dr. Thaddeus Williams some meaty theological questions about free will and the problem of evil related to his new book coming out called God Reforms Hearts: Rethinking Free Will and the Problem of Evil. Following the main course, The Bee always has a dessert of sweet hate mail, which The Bee always shares with its loyal listeners. In the subscriber portion, Kyle, Ethan, and Thaddeus read subscriber-pitched headlines, bonus hate mail, talk about Calvinism a bit, and then give Thaddeus the Next Ten Questions.


    Christian Comedy, Eating Bacon, and Performing at Prisons | The Nazareth Interview Aug 24, 2021

    On The Babylon Bee Interview Show, Kyle and Ethan talk to stand-up comedian Nazareth. They talk about performing on Zoom, finding Jesus, and being Middle Eastern. Nazareth has been a stand-up for over 25 years. He started his comedy career working with the likes of Chris Rock, Adam Sandler, and Kevin James. Once he found Jesus, Nazareth committed his life to Christ and quickly became one of the top Christian comedians in the country. He has written a book entitled Hope in 24 Hours. Check out his website for when Nazareth will be performing near you.

    Kyle and Ethan find out about Nazareth’s views on loving your neighbor and why we need a new website to help us choose our homes. Nazareth talks about what led him to Christ while working as a stand up comedian at the Los Angeles Improv. Once he came to Christ, Nazareth speaks on where God led him and how he has become one of the top Christian comedians in the country. Kyle and Ethan try throwing out topics to Nazareth to see if he can make anything funny.

    In the Subscriber Portion, Kyle and Ethan find out who Nazareth's comedy heroes are. They talk about the strangest places Nazareth has performed comedy. Kyle and Ethan get Nazareth’s worst bombing and worst show stories. They end the interview with the ever glorious 10 questions with an impassioned call to Jesus by Nazareth. Nazareth offers his email address if anyone wants to ask any questions about coming to Jesus: Naz@nazarethusa.com.


    The Bee Reads LOTR Episode 23: Flotsam and Jetsam Aug 21, 2021

    In this episode of The Bee Reads, Kyle and Dan talk about two chapters of The Lord of the Rings, The Road to Isengard and Flotsam and Jetsam, where they find Merry and Pippin finally reunited with their friends on a field a victory enjoying a few well-earned comforts. Is Saruman the original liberal? Is smoking all that pipe weed healthy? Will Kyle and Dan have to check a dictionary to find out what flotsam and jetsam are? Tune in this week for The Bee Reads The Lord of the Rings!


    THE BEE WEEKLY: Carolina Reaper Blazing Love Barrage and also Hunter Biden Aug 20, 2021

    This episode of The Bee Weekly is brought to you by Conservative Conversations by Intercollegiate Studies Institute. Enjoy in-depth conversations with leading thinkers on the most important issues facing conservatism.

    Kyle and Ethan attempt the One Chip Challenge and then sing to Em and her husband in Spanish, using a Worship Song Generator and Google Translate on a subscriber dare since they’ll do just about anything for money. The song is entitled Bombardeo de Amor Ardiente. They talk about the weird news of the week like what the Department of Homeland Security sees as a terror threat now, a bank robber who needs to pay for handwriting lessons, and a man who yeets himself over to Dairy Queen in a helicopter. Also they find out you shouldn’t bite snakes or play with handgun laser sights. The Mattel company failed to impress with its Tokyo Olympics Barbie lineup and apparently chugging a 2-liter of soda can land you with a world record.

    Kyle and Ethan then talk to documentary filmmaker Phelim McAleer about his new project, My Son Hunter. As usual, there is glorious hate mail and even more fun in the subscriber-exclusive lounge.


    Christian Movies, Nicolas Cage, and Say Goodnight Kevin | The Kevin McCreary Interview Aug 17, 2021

    On The Babylon Bee Interview Show, Kyle and Ethan talk to Kevin McCreary from Say Goodnight Kevin. They talk about the art of making fun of Christian movies, Nicolas Cage in Left Behind, and the state of Christian art. Kevin created his YouTube channel back in 2014 for a way to help people think for themselves on movies. He has grown his audience by taking apart Christian movies and still remaining a Christian. One of his featured videos gives a breakdown on How to Make a Christian movie. Check out BetterHelp.com/BabylonBee for 10% off

    Kyle and Ethan find out about some of Kevin’s more obscure reviews like Lego Passion of the Christ. Kevin goes into why Christian movies are not trying as hard since they know the audience goes for the message instead of looking for a good story. They talk about how Christian filmmakers are afraid of their own audience misinterpreting things and how this holds back from making a good story.

    In the Subscriber Portion, Kyle and Ethan find out about Kevin’s views on salvation. They go in deep on some good Christian movies and some of his favorite filmmakers working today. Kevin talks about the many abortion and child sick movie genres that he has reviewed extensively. They end the interview with the ever great 10 questions.


    The Bee Reads LOTR Episode 22: The Battle of Helm’s Deep Aug 14, 2021

    In this episode of The Bee Reads The Lord of the Rings, Kyle and Dan talk through two chapters, The King of the Golden Hall and Helm’s Deep. They read about how Aragorn threatens to kill anyone who touches his stuff, Theoden sees the brighter side of things thanks to Gandalf, and Legolas and Gimli become fast friends while killing orcs together. Will Eowyn get with Aragorn? Will Gimli top Legolas’ top score? What can men do against such reckless hate? Find out on this episode of The Bee Reads!


    THE BEE WEEKLY: Weird News and Frank Turek Tackles Google’s Top God Questions Aug 13, 2021

    In this episode of the Bee Weekly, Kyle and Ethan are joined by apologist Dr. Frank Turek, founder of CrossExamined and author of several books including Stealing From God and I Don’t Have Enough Faith to be an Atheist. They talk about the weird news of the week that they can’t believe is real and ask Frank all the internet’s top questions about God. In the subscriber portion, Frank is subjected to the Next Ten Questions and of course salty hate mail.

    This episode of The Bee Weekly is brought to you by Conservative Conversations by Intercollegiate Studies Institute. Enjoy in-depth conversations with leading thinkers on the most important issues facing conservatism.

    Kyle and Ethan jog Frank’s memory about the time Ethan couldn’t help himself and basically made a hardcore Unofficial Theme Song for Frank Turek’s CrossExamined show. They react to some YouTube comments on Hateful White Men Questing How Hateful They Really Are. They also talk about the weird news of the week like parrots who can’t stop swearing, a hawk losing a fight with a deer, and ANTIFA attacking Christians to end fascism. Also what is happening in Kyle, TX?

    Frank Turek takes on the challenge of answering all of the top questions about God that the internet is asking. In an unusual change of pace, Kyle and Ethan answer some love mail about how edifying The Babylon Bee has been for someone’s walk with God and then return to our more usual fare of salty hate mail.

    In the subscriber portion, Frank Turek answers The Next Ten Questions and the guys read the week’s top subscriber headlines. Subscribers also enjoy some bonus hate mail!


    Giving Tyranny The Tombstone Piledriver | The Glenn Jacobs Interview Aug 10, 2021

    On The Babylon Bee Interview Show, Kyle and Ethan talk to Glenn Jacobs. Glenn Jacobs is the current Knoxville County Mayor and is also known as the WWE wrestler Kane. They talk about being a wrestling star, libertarian philosophy, and the best hot chicken in Tennessee. Glenn had gained most of his fame from being one of the most feared villains with his intimidating physique and red mask he has worn throughout his career. Glenn felt an obligation to keep freedom going for the next generation by becoming the mayor of Knoxville County.

    Kyle and Ethan start the interview by finding out who is behind the Kane mask. Glenn obliges by describing his journey as a wrestler and what led him into becoming a libertarian. Kyle and Ethan find out the best food in Tennessee while Ethan reveals a secret about Kyle that shocks Glenn. Glenn goes into how he has been leading his county and all the obstacles he has had to work through.

    Glenn reveals which President he would figuratively lay a smackdown on and which President he would have the ultimate tag team with. They all talk about the growing opposition to talking to the other political side and what can be done to help keep an open conversation between our political parties. Ethan is able to get the ultimate cool story out of Glenn Jacobs before entering the Subscriber portion.

    In the Subscriber Portion, subscribers get some questions asked by Kyle and Ethan such as finding out which politician Glenn would lay a figurative chokeslam on. Glenn goes in depth on how libertarianism and Christianity can work together. Glenn talks about what drove him to English Literature as a major in college. Kyle and Ethan ask Glenn the 10 questions with Glenn giving one of the best fight stories.


    The Bee Reads LOTR Episode 21: Treebeard and the White Rider Aug 07, 2021

    Kyle and Dan continue reading through The Lord of the Rings and make it to the ancient forest of Fangorn. Will Treebeard get the John Wick biopic that he deserves? What does C.S. Lewis have to do with Fangorn? Is Mordor going to open up a hot chicken restaurant? Tune in to find out.

    Subscribe to The Babylon Bee to get access to The Bee Reads at: http://babylonbee.com/plans

    Kyle and Dan read through the chapters of Treebeard and The White Rider. We meet the Ents, learn about their tragic past and non-hasty language, and a mysterious White Rider makes his appearance and immediately pranks everyone.


    THE BEE WEEKLY: Best Christian Album Covers And How To Hang Your Hammock Aug 06, 2021

    In this episode, Kyle and Ethan are joined by Kevin McCreary from Say Goodnight Kevin. They talk about the best Christian album covers of all time, horrible places to hang your hammock, and The Babylon Bee triggering the socialists on Twitter. In the subscriber portion they talk about crazy Christian movies they can’t believe are real.

    One of our superfans gives us a very sweet and loving one-star podcast review and then Kyle, Ethan, and Kevin dive into the weird news of the week. People have been hammocking on electricity towers, the AMA says to get rid of sex designation on birth certificates, and a two-headed snake still needs to eat. Then Biden ate something off his chin and people in Spain were assaulted by a guy with a harpoon. A cat apparently likes to play loud music, eBay stalked some innocent people, and there is a disturbing new Guinness World Record that raises so many questions.

    The guys then do a run down of the greatest Christian album covers of all time. They will definitely rock your faith! We get hate mail from the official Socialist Party account on Twitter and then the guys talk about some crazy Christian movies that they can’t believe are real in the subscriber-exclusive lounge.


    Catholics, FreedomToons, and Public Schools | The Seamus Coughlin Interview Aug 03, 2021

    On The Babylon Bee Interview Show, Kyle and Ethan talk to Seamus Coughlin of FreedomToons about animation, public school, and personality types. Seamus has grown a large following with his YouTube channel, FreedomToons, while also being the Catholic voice on various podcasts including The Tim Pool Daily Podcast. Seamus grew his love of politics and animation into one of the best channels on YouTube. He has since amassed over 650 thousand subscribers.

    This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Go to Betterhelp.com/babylonbee and use the code BabylonBee to save 10% off.

    Kyle finds out about how Ethan and Seamus started their animation careers. They go into how the education system has evolved in our current culture. Seamus goes into how children's films have degraded and how he hopes to renew them. Seamus tells Ethan and Kyle about the temperament personality types coined from Thomas Aquinas.

    In the Subscriber Lounge, Kyle and Ethan get a lesson on what Catholics believe about the Eucharist. They go into how churches reacted during to being shut down. Lastly Seamus answers a new set of 10 questions.


    The Bee Reads LOTR Episode 20: Riders of Rohan and Uruk-hai Jul 31, 2021

    Kyle and Dan from The Babylon Bee continue reading through The Two Towers with chapters introducing us to The Riders of Rohan and the Uruk-hai. They discover that Rohan is a very big place. They talk about their favorite parts of the chapters and find out what happened to Merry and Pippin. What do Legolas’ elf eyes see? Do orcs even have menus? How woke is Tolkien? Find out all this and more on The Bee Reads.

    Start reading The Lord of the Rings with guys from The Babylon Bee by becoming a subscriber!

    Keep sending us comments, questions, and fan art. Is this your first time reading the book? Let us know how it is going for you!


    THE BEE WEEKLY: Pitching Tents With Faith Heroes and the Maniac Jul 30, 2021

    In this episode of The Bee Weekly, Kyle and Ethan take time to recognize some heroes of the faith before looking at what G.K. Chesterton said about people who believe in themselves. In the subscriber lounge, Kyle asks Ethan the Next Ten Questions.

    Kyle and Ethan honor heroes of the faith like a preacher catching himself before offending little people, a youth pastor talking about tents and nothing else, and a man who is ready to sing. Kyle and Ethan then read and discuss The Maniac, a chapter from G.K. Chesterton’s Orthodoxy. Join Kyle and Ethan in the subscribe lounge to learn more about the mysterious enigma wrapped in a riddle stuffed into a Creative Director that is Ethan Nicolle.


    Aliens, Sci-Fi, and Christianity | The Dr. Jeff Zweerink Interview Jul 27, 2021

    On The Babylon Bee Interview Show, Kyle and Ethan talk to Dr. Jeff Zweerink about aliens, accurate Sci-Fi movies, and being a scientist and a Christian. Dr. Jeff is a senior research scholar at Reasons To Believe. He holds a Ph.D. in Astrophysics and has debated Ken Ham on the age of the earth on the Unbelievable radio program. He struggled earlier in life with how to reconcile his biblical training and love for science. But when he first heard Hugh Ross, President & Founder of Reasons To Believe and an astrophysicist, speak at Iowa State University, Dr. Zweerink began to think he could combine science and faith together with his life’s work.

    If you're hopelessly fascinated by the world of celebrity relationships, you can find Young & Holmes podcast episodes every two weeks on the podcast platform of your choice. You can also visit youngandholmes.com for more info.Kyle and Ethan find out when Dr. Jeff accepted Hugh Ross into his heart. Dr. Jeff talks about his origin growing up in Mississippi with science and Christianity in the same household. Kyle and Ethan dig into the questions submitted from our subscribers that go into what aliens would do to his theology, the realism of Sci-Fi movies, and Dark Matter. Kyle finds out what it’s like being a Christian in the science world.

    In the Subscriber Portion, Kyle and Ethan find out more about that Ken Ham debate and what flat earthers believe. Dr. Jeff goes into if he’s afraid of the multiverse and if we should be as well. He also goes into what is happening with artificial intelligence and what our possible future will be with it.


    The Bee Reads LOTR Episode 19: The Departure of Boromir Jul 24, 2021

    In this episode of The Bee Reads, Kyle and Dan begin the second part of The Lord of the Rings, The Two Towers, by reading The Departure of Boromir. They talk about their favorite parts of the chapter, try to summarize it, and go to subscriber-submitted comments and questions.

    Start reading The Two Towers with guys from The Babylon Bee by becoming a subscriber: http://babylonbee.com/plans.

    Keep sending us your comments, questions and fan art. How long will Kyle go before saying something is “Fantastic”? Will Dan make a connection to his Calvinism? Tune in to find out.


    THE BEE WEEKLY: Bigoted Crossword Puzzles, Pregnant Man Emojis, and Ask A Christian Woman Jul 23, 2021

    In this episode, Kyle and Ethan are joined by Kristin Weber, a comedian, speaker, and author of several books including Adulting For Jesus. She also plays a mean accordion. Kristin gifts us with our new theme song before getting into all the weird news of the week like how human civilization has finally reached pregnant man emojis and how crossword puzzles are bigoted now. There’s also Real Things Blue Checks Say, Ask A Christian Woman, and glorious hate mail.

    This episode is brought to you by The Chesterton Conference happening July 29, 30, and 31 and you can even attend online! (Bee fans make sure to get your substantial discount by using promo code TheBee25!)

    Other weird news includes a candle thief using bear spray on everyone in the store, a police officer who got scared of Jupiter, and a turtle getting stuck to an owl. Blue Checks on Twitter announce a new Dungeons & Dragons campaign where you go to prom, the hidden bigotry of crosswords, and that declaring martial law solves all problems. Also the bright side of a dollar being devalued by inflationary policies is that your wages will go up!

    In the super-exclusive subscriber lounge, Kristin tries out the Worship Song Generator. Subscriber headlines of the week are read and Kristin finally answers The Ten Questions.


    Humanity Of Cops, Christianity, and The Power Of Media | The Ryan Tillman Interview Jul 20, 2021

    On The Babylon Bee Interview Show, Kyle and Ethan talk to Ryan Tillman of Breaking Barriers United. They talk about misconceptions about being a cop, being an outspoken Christian, and the power of the media on public perception. Ryan Tillman is a working police officer and founder of Breaking Barriers United. Breaking Barriers United is a Christian organization dedicated to bridging the gap between the community and the police force. Ryan does public speaking and breakdowns of police incidents to help inform the community on police work.

    Kyle and Ethan find out Ryan Tillman’s origin story into becoming a police officer. Ryan shares how he started off hating cops and how he came around to the idea of being a police officer. Kyle and Ethan find out the misconceptions into being a police officer and how we forget that cops are human too. Ryan shares how his Christianity has played a huge role in his life. We learn the distinction between racial profiling and criminal profiling. Then we find out why we need to start refunding the police instead of defunding them.

    In the Subscriber Portion, Ryan tries to top Greg Kading’s cop story with his own crazy story that starts off at a Motel 6 and leads into all different crazy directions. Kyle and Ethan find out how Ryan decompresses after having depressing nights on the job. He talks about being the prayer cop and finding real purpose for his career. Kyle and Ethan end the interview with the 10 questions.


    THE BEE WEEKLY: Rainbow Dill Pickle Monkey, Ask a Woman, and the Sunday Scaries Jul 16, 2021

    In this episode of The Bee Weekly, Kyle Mann and Ethan Nicolle are joined by musician, actress, and comedienne Chandler Juliet to talk about the most recent bad takes on social media, making music during the pandemic, and the library in the UK being forced to apologize for the “rainbow dill pickle monkey” brought in to entertain children. They talk about weird news of the week, get to ask a woman what others are apparently asking Google about women, and also read our glorious hate mail.

    Be sure to listen to Chandler’s music and YouTube Channel.

    One of our commenters point on Ethan’s sincerity eyebrows before Chandler tests her musical chops with The Babylon Bee’s Worship Song Generator. Kyle, Ethan, and Chandler see what’s weird in the world like a rancher surviving being pinned by his ATV through the power of beer, people in Portland being frightened by a pickup truck, and the world’s smallest cow. The White House, the New York Times, and someone in Canada who loves burning churches all make it into our Real Things Blue Checks Say segment. Chandler talks about her music during the pandemic and then answers the questions about women that men are apparently typing into Google about women.

    Chandler joins Kyle and Ethan for our super-exclusive Subscribers Lounge and even answers The Ten Questions.


    Slapfish, Newsom, and Recipes: Chef Andrew Gruel Interview Jul 13, 2021

    On The Babylon Bee Interview Show, Kyle and Ethan talk to Chef Andrew Gruel about running a restaurant, why people won’t let go of tips, and Ethan’s idea for nacho’s. Chef Andrew Gruel has appeared on many shows including as a Judge on Chopped and Food Truck Face Off. He has gained notoriety recently for being outspoken about the struggles restaurants have been facing this past year. He has a number of restaurants including his fish restaurant Slapfish and pizza joint Big Parm.

    Kyle and Ethan talk about the most controversial business decision Chef Gruel made: offering no pineapple pizza at Big Parm. After discussing why pineapple pizza is a bad decision, Chef Gruel goes into how difficult it has been running a restaurant during the pandemic. Kyle and Ethan give their ideas on how to improve Chef Gruel’s restaurants.

    In the Subscriber Lounge, Kyle and Ethan throw out random ingredients and ask Chef Gruel what dish he would make with them. Ingredients ranging from bat wings to Nashville hot chicken. Chef Gruel shares what food is unappreciated. Ethan finds out tips for finding the best seafood. As always the interview ends with the 10 questions with an added bonus of one of the worst customers Chef’s Gruel had to deal with.


    THE BEE WEEKLY: Evangelicals, Catholics and Facebook Extremists Together Jul 09, 2021

    In this episode of The Bee Weekly, Kyle and Ethan are joined by fan favorite Seamus Coughlin of FreedomToons to talk about skunks in pickle jars, Facebook warning you about all the extremists they platform, and how The Babylon Bee doesn’t make fun of Trump. There’s also weird news, hate mail, and the ultimate showdown between Calvinists and Catholics that will once and for all settle all theological debates.

    The guys talk about the week’s weird news like how a state owned oil company isn’t real socialism, how much we all saved on our July 4th barbecues thanks to Joe Biden, and how a nefarious illegal coupon ring is going to bring down our civilization. We have another round of Real Things Blue Checks Say and then Kyle and Seamus debate which is the one true faith: Calvinism or Roman Catholicism. They then decide to be friends and laugh at this week’s hate mail.

    In the lengthy Subscriber Lounge, Seamus, Ethan, and Laugh Track Patrick Green discuss their creative journeys and the pursuit of animation as a career and calling.


    Christianity, Libertarians, and Midwits | The Tom Woods Interview Jul 06, 2021

    On The Babylon Bee Interview Show, Kyle and Ethan talk to author/podcaster Tom Woods. They talk about being a very failed podcaster, the difference between society and politics, and Thomas Aquinas. Tom Woods is one of the leading Libertarian podcasters with The Tom Woods Show and is the author of 12 books. He also has written a number of Ebooks that he gives away for free by signing up for his email list on his website.

    We get some questions from our super fan, Michael Malice for Tom Woods that brings the discussion to Nullification, Ron Paul, and how Libertarianism works with his Catholic faith. He speaks about how Thomas Aquainas helped construct his views.

    In the Subscriber Portion, Tom answers a question about Russel Kirk and Patrick Buchanan. He answers who the 5 best presidents are in America’s history. Ethan finds out how the government is messing with our life from Tom. As always we conclude with the 10 questions for every guest.


    THE BEE WEEKLY: Most Hated Bee Headlines, Christian Lyrics, and Lies From Subway Jul 02, 2021

    In this episode of The Bee Weekly, Kyle and Ethan are joined by voice over actress, Wendy Shapero to talk about lies from Subway, Babylon Bee headlines people absolutely hated, and some of the greatest Christian lyrics of the 1990's.

    This episode is brought to you by the new Christian fantasy dungeon crawler game Deliverance

    Kyle, Ethan, and Wendy share in our celebration for getting the silver plaque from YouTube for getting 100,000 subscribers, even though we are much higher than that now. They go on to talk about the weirdest of news like the South African woman who had 10 babies was actually lying and a new weight loss technique that locks your jaw to keep you from eating. We find several new world records that bring joy to Kyle like never before.

    Kyle and Ethan go back into the archive to find the Babylon Bee Headlines that brought the most hate. Afterwards, Kyle and Ethan share with Wendy lyrics from some of the big Christian artists of the 1990s like Carmen, Newsboys, and T-Bone. We end the main portion with a hate tweet toward anyone who enjoys The Babylon Bee.

    In the Subscriber Portion, Kyle, Ethan find out more about Wendy’s career. They read subscriber headlines of the week. Then they end the show with Wendy answering the 10 questions.


    Intelligent Design, Atheists, and Dismantling Materialism | The Dr. Stephen Meyer Interview Jun 29, 2021

    On The Babylon Bee Interview Show, Kyle and Ethan talk to Dr. Stephen Meyer. They talk about Intelligent Design, DNA, and Richard Dawkins. He is a former Geophysicist and college professor, and now directs the Discovery Institute’s Center for Science and Culture in Seattle. He is a Cambridge-educated philosopher of science and has written several books, his most recent one being The Return of The God Hypothesis, where he discusses how science is coming back to the idea of an Intelligent Designer.

    Kyle and Ethan find out what science means along with what scientific evidence there is for God. Dr. Stephen Meyer shows how the materialistic viewpoints are becoming more insane and The Intelligent Design arguments are becoming the more sound arguments. Dr. Stephen Meyer talks about how DNA is even shocking Richard Dawkins and the rest of the scientific community.

    In the Subscriber Portion, Kyle and Ethan find out what Dr. Stephen Meyer thinks about old earth and young earth. He speaks on the evidence for what has swayed his opinion. They talk on how philosophy and science have created some of the best work for science. They end the interview with the 10 questions.


    THE BEE WEEKLY: Women of the Bible, Worship Fails, and Poor Penguins Jun 25, 2021

    In this episode of The Bee Weekly, Kyle and Ethan are joined by comedian Kellen Erskine to talk about the ecological destruction caused by humans trying to save Tasmanian devils, the new naked skydiving world record holder, and more heroes who are making the Christian faith better. Kyle and Ethan also talk to Fox News’ Shannon Bream about her book The Women of the Bible Speak.

    This episode is brought to you by the new Christian fantasy dungeon crawler Deliverance.

    Be sure to check out Kellen Erskine’s podcast The Book Pile.

    Kyle, Ethan, and Kellen answer a Subscriber Dare to wish Noah Myers a very happy birthday. Remember, we’ll do anything for money. They then talk about the week’s bizarre and weird news like the new Forever Hold hairspray and a climate change activism group disbanding because of its whiteness. The Babylon Bee’s own Brandon brings in some mystery food for the guys to guess what it is and the guys salute some heroes of the Christian faith. Someone stands up for Mother in a salty hate mail. In the subscriber lounge, the guys read the top subscriber-submitted headlines of the past week, read some bonus hate mail, and finally Kellen answers an updated Next Ten Questions.


    Christianity, Star Wars Prequels, and Staying In California | The Dave Rubin Interview Jun 22, 2021

    On The Babylon Bee Interview Show, Kyle and Ethan talk to political commentator Dave Rubin. They talk about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave Rubin is best known for The Rubin Report available on YouTube and all podcast platforms, where he has candid conversations about complex issues and current events. Dave is known for his iconoclastic and honest approach to big ideas and his unwavering support for free speech. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books.

    Kyle and Ethan find out which political figures would win a fight. They also get some advice on what to do with difficult podcast guests and what his experience has been trying to talk to the other side. Kyle is able to get an update on how Dave Rubin feels about Star Wars after his remarks on The Last Jedi. After Joe Rogan and Daily Wire fled California, Kyle and Ethan see if Dave Rubin is the next one to leave. A subscriber gets a question about how Dave Rubin feels about the Christian faith. Dave gives this video as an explanation of how he feels about his own faith.

    In The Subscriber Portion, Kyle and Ethan ask subscriber questions ranging from his history with Joe Rogan to what’s going on with lesbians. Dave gives his thoughts on how to convince the upcoming generation that conservatism is the best philosophy. We end the interview with the 10 questions and try to bring Dave Rubin to Jesus.


    THE BEE WEEKLY: Race-Norming and J.R.R. Woken Jun 18, 2021

    On this episode of The Bee Weekly, Kyle and Ethan are joined by Kira Davis! They talk about the Bee fighting the New York Times and winning, the Tolkien Society going full on woke, and also try to figure out what the heck “race-norming” is. As usual, there is glorious hate mail and plenty of weird news.

    This episode is brought to you by a new Christian fantasy dungeon crawler, Deliverance.

    Make sure to listen to Kira’s podcast, Just Listen To Yourself.

    Kyle, Ethan, and Kira talk about the week’s weird news like how someone mysteriously wrote “Joe Rogan is 5 foot 3 inches tall” in the sky above Los Angeles and how a New York Times columnist who believed Mayor Bloomberg could have given every American a million dollars is now very triggered by American flags. Cows may also now look like Bane but on both ends.

    They also have another Heroes of the Faith segment this time featuring Aimee Semple McPherson.

    Kira then asks Kyle and Ethan if they know what “race-norming” is and how the NFL is applying the racist rules that the federal government uses but this time to deny damages and payouts to players suffering from brain injuries.

    In the subscriber-exclusive lounge, everyone laughs through bonus hate mails, reads some fan mail, go over the week’s top subscriber-submitted headlines, and subject Kira to the Next Ten Questions.


    Defunding Police, Rap Murder, and Cop Stories | The Greg Kading Interview Jun 15, 2021

    On The Babylon Bee Interview Show, Kyle and Ethan talk to retired police detective Greg Kading. They talk about cool cop stories, defunding the police, and working on high profile cases. Greg is best known for working on a task force that investigated the murders of rap stars Tupac Shakur and Biggie Smalls in the mid-2000s. In September 2011, he made a documentary and self-published the book Murder Rap: The Untold Story of the Biggie Smalls & Tupac Shakur Murder Investigations Go to wethepeopleholsters.com/bee and enter the code BEE10 to save $10

    Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

    To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans

    Topics Discussed

    Best law enforcement shows

    Worse Crime shows

    Trying to figure out Rappers names

    Tupac and Biggie murders

    Watching someone portray you on TV

    Tupac murder

    How Greg became wrapped up in the large profile rap cases

    Homicides in Los Angeles

    Current status of gang violence

    Weird cop story

    Being a rookie cop

    Crashing in a police car

    Starting a podcast

    Reacting to police hatred

    Police violence

    Rodney King riots

    Derek Chuavin and George Floyd

    Waiting for all the facts

    Theology and police work

    Moral relativism

    Valuing all life as an officer

    Seperating yourself from your job

    Keeping your identity separate from being an officer

    Defunding police

    Being a private investigator

    Stench of autopsies

    Colors of the bodies

    Interrogating

    Subscriber Portion

    Orlando Bloom being robbed

    Smoking jackets

    Pro tips against burglaries

    Drug problems

    Always have a safe

    Flashlights as a weapon

    South Central beat cop

    Plainclothes detective

    Lethal Weapon

    Bureaucracy

    Flashlight over taser

    Pepper spray story

    PCP story

    10 questions


    THE BEE WEEKLY: Saving Abuela and Deliverance from Evil Jun 11, 2021

    On this episode of The Bee Weekly, Kyle and Ethan are joined by Andrew Lowen to talk about his new board game set in the battle between angels and demons, Deliverance. They also talk about noble efforts to help AOC’s Abuela and The Babylon Bee going up against The New York Times. Afterwards Andrew shares his creative process for creating Deliverance and how this game is unlike most Christian games in that it is not terrible.

    Intro

    Friend of the Bee Andrew Lowen joins Kyle and Ethan. Andrew has a new tactical combat adventure game about angels, demons, and the saints caught in between called Deliverance! You can back it on Kickstarter starting June 8, 2021!

    Upcoming Interview

    Next interview will be with former LAPD detective Greg Kading, known for his work on the Tupac and Biggie murder cases...Really good police story only in the subscriber poriton.

    Comments from Subscribers and YouTube

    Birdman and Axl Dave get featured today

    Weird News

    • Italian Artist Sells Invisible Sculpture That Only Exists In His Mind For $18,000
    • Us Special Forces Accidentally Stormed A Cooking Oil Factory In Bulgaria During A Live Training Exercise
    • Us Coast Guard Rescues 3 Adults And 2 Dogs Floating On Giant Inflatable Pink Flamingo Near Gulf Of Alaska
    • Matt Walsh Started A Gofundme To Fix Aoc's Grandma's House And It Raised Over $100,000 In A Matter Of Hours
    • Jeff Bezos Is Going To Space On One Of His Company’s Rocket Ships This Summer
    • ‘Among Us’-Shaped Mcnugget Sells For Nearly $100,000
    • South African Woman Gives Birth To Decuplets
    • Ontario Police Officer Rescues Skunk From Mcflurry Cup
    • Las Vegas Woman Crushes 3 Watermelons In 7 1/2 Seconds For World Record

    Segment 1

    Bee beef with the NYT naming us as an example of far-right misinformation sites that use “satire” claims to protect their presence on Facebook.

    Segment 2

    Andrew Lowen on Christians making stuff like his new board game Deliverance!

    You can back his kickstarter and become a supporter.

    Andrew talks about Christian board games, theology behind the game, and behind the scenes of creating a board game. Ethan struggles to keep up with Kyle and Andrew as they dive in deep into the nerdom of board games.

    Hate Mail

    Pamela says we are being inappropriate

    Subscriber Portion

    Andrew Lowen’s New Game Deliverance

    Kyle and Ethan experience the game with Andrew. Ethan remains confused during the whole game and Kyle beats up some demons


    Parody, Country Music, and Right Wing Politics | The Buddy Brown Interview Jun 08, 2021

    On The Babylon Bee Interview Show, Kyle and Ethan talk to Buddy Brown of YouTube Fame. They talk about his rise to YouTube fame, hunting stories, and living out his faith. Buddy gained his fame making YouTube videos from the back of his truck singing about anything from Covid to white privilege. He was able to get the number one spot on Itunes country charts without an agent or any publicist. You can find him on YouTube by clicking here and buy his merchandise here.

    Faithful CounselingGet 10% off your first month using this link: https://www.faithfulcounseling.com/babylonbee

    Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

    To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans

    Topics Discussed

    Buddy’s origin

    Current state of country music

    People are too sensitive these days

    Nashville music scene

    Big hearts and big opinions

    Mike Pence using Buddy’s song

    No Green screen used for truck songs

    Real estate agent to country music star

    Coronavirus song

    No apologies for his Covid song

    Woke country songs

    Blowback from people over country songs

    Connecting with Ted Nugent

    Eating bugs

    Cool hunting stories

    Taxidermy stores

    Playing SSC Football

    Be so good that they can’t start the game without you

    Pointing people to Jesus with country music

    Actors with ball caps on

    Finding a new way to be a musician

    How Buddy found his faith

    Living out your faith

    Country music influences

    Subscriber Portion

    The Holy Grail of country music for Buddy

    Pop country music

    Condescending cuteness of current country music

    Cover bands disguised as country artists

    Chris Stapleton

    Cool touring stories

    Embarrassing concert entrance story

    Touring life with Buddy

    Mudding

    10 questions


    THE BEE WEEKLY: Bear Pool Party and “Bake The Cake, You Bigot!” Jun 04, 2021

    On this episode of The Bee Weekly, Kyle and Ethan are joined by Trevor Andersen to talk about bears crashing a pool party, atheists finding Jesus, and what blue checks are doing for Pride Month. Kyle and Ethan also talk to Jack Phillips of Masterpiece Cakeshop about the cost of his faith and his fight for religious liberty.

    Intro

    Trevor Andersen joins Kyle and Ethan to guest host.

    Upcoming Interview

    Next interview will be Buddy Brown of YouTube fame. Get it a day early if you’re a paid subscriber.

    We Read Comments From Our Different Platforms

    Gaple comments on our John Cena article and we get a compliment on our upgraded equipment.

    Weird News

    • Suspects Break Into Storage Unit, Steal Boxes Of Little Debbie Snack Cakes
    • Mercedes Tumbles Off Jack, Kills Suspected Catalytic Converter Thief
    • Ontario Principal Removed After Twice Wearing Hair Of Student As A Wig
    • Flight From India To US Diverted After Crew Finds Bat In Business Class
    • Backlash As Skin-Coloured “equality stamps” In Spain Priced Differently
    • Video Shows Teen Girl Shoving Huge Bear Over Fence To Save Her Dogs
    • Seven Bears Crash High School Pool Party In Tennessee
    • Man Breaks Guinness World Record For World’s Tallest Spike Mohawk

    Faithful Counseling

    Get 10% off your first month using this link.

    Segment 1

    Kyle and Ethan Take a Test on the Trinity as seen on Challies.com

    Segment 2

    Real Stuff Blue Checks Say (and other happenings on social media)

    Segment 3

    Kyle and Ethan talk to Jack Phillips from Masterpiece Cakeshop

    Hate Mail

    Eve didn’t like our rainbow logo.

    Subscriber Portion

    Subsriber Headlines of the Week

    Subscriber Email Question/ Love Mail

    Bonus 10 Questions

    We learn even more about Trevor!


    Tweeters Be Mad | Pastor Gabriel Hughes Interview Jun 01, 2021

    On The Babylon Bee Interview Show, Kyle and Ethan talk to Pastor Gabriel Hughes. They talk about satire, Game of Thrones, and growing up around the Christian music scene. Pastor Gabriel Hughes is a Baptist Pastor and host of When We Understand The Text, an ongoing video series and daily podcast of bible commentary and teaching. He has become known on Twitter for preaching the gospel unapologetically. He currently is a pastor at the First Baptist Church in Lindale, Texas. Go to wethepeopleholsters.com/bee and enter the code BEE10 to save $10

    Topics Discussed

    Pastor Gabe originally followed Kyle

    Are you stupid?

    Jesus as a refugee

    Doug Tanapel Interview

    DC talk of Satire

    Sin or not sin?

    Vaping like a total cheesebag

    Throwing up the sign of the horns while listening to heavy metal

    Jazzercise

    Reading one of Doug Wilson’s books

    Tattoo of John Piper’s face

    Sprinkling a baby with water for some reason

    Following John MacArthur on Twitter

    Converting to Catholicism

    Reading Relevant Magazine

    Drinking IPAs when there’s perfectly good bourbon nearby

    Mormon missionaries

    Doing DMT with Joe Rogan

    Looting from local GameStop in the name of justice

    CCM

    Free Willy

    MXPX

    Promoting Christian concerts

    Growing up around CCM artists family’s

    Subscriber Portion

    Stupid things Christians say

    God’s wonderful plan for your life?

    Hearing God’s voice

    Preach the gospel, when necessary use words

    God will never give you more than you can handle

    Modesty is hottest

    Being banned from Twitter

    Women pastors

    International women’s day

    Biblical hyper-fundamentalism

    Being born again

    10 questions

    Carman meeting


    The Bee Reads LOTR Episode 18: The Breaking of the Fellowship May 29, 2021

    Kyle, Dan, and Jonathan reach the final chapter of The Fellowship of the Ring where the fellowship breaks and perhaps The Bee Reads fellowship breaks too since Jonathan is moving to Tennessee. Frodo knows what he must do and in this chapter his decision is made much easier by Boromir. The guys also talk about their favorite parts of the book so far and get listener comments and questions!


    THE BEE WEEKLY: Kissing Chickens, A Hollywood Conservative, And Blue Checks May 28, 2021

    In this Bee Weekly, Kyle and Ethan are joined by Adam Yenser, a writer on The Ellen Show and a Republican in Hollywood who has inexplicably not been canceled yet. The CDC has new guidelines about kissing chickens for some reason and we talk about real things blue checks on Twitter say. There’s the usual weird news of the week, unexpected love mail, glorious hate mail, and more!

    Introduction

    Adam Yenser is here! Check out Cancelled News!

    Upcoming Interview

    Pastor Gabriel Hughes will be on the interview show next. We play the game Sin or Not Sin with him, talk about growing up around CCM artists, and in subscriber portion we go into stupid things Christians have said. It will come out Tuesday for the free loaders and the extended interview will be out Monday for all the beloved and wonderful paid subscribers.

    Subscriber Comment of the Week From Last Bee Weekly Goes To crsluggo!

    Best comment from Frank Fleming’s Wife

    YouTube Comment of the Week On The White Liberal Shocked As Black Man Gets ID

    Weird News

    CDC urges Americans not to kiss chickens amid Salmonella outbreak

    Goodwill asks people to stop donating literal garbage

    During a burglary call in SC a police dog bit a cow, then the officer tased the dog, then the cow kicked the officer

    The largest Lutheran denomination in Europe just announced that it is "trans."

    Chicago's Lori Lightfoot is now excluding white reporters from interviews

    Teen in Spain built underground den after fight with his parents

    Spanish man becomes first creature killed by a dinosaur in a long time

    Idaho men bounce Ping-Pong balls into 5 cups for Guinness record

    “Real Things Blue Checks Say” and various Twitter happenings

    • What is going on with Larry the Cucumber?
    • This event was 1000 times worse than 9/11. Can you guess?
    • This journalist found discarded “glock packaging”
    • Wapo is worried about masks coming off and what this means for sexism.
    • Blue Check pontificates on who is not a Christian.
    • This mom on TikTok hates her baby because he’s white.
    • David Hogg makes an appearance this week.

    Adam Yenser on being a conservative Republican in Hollywood and writing for the Ellen Show.

    Love Mail

    Matt Taibbi had some nice things to say about us!

    Hate Mail

    We have sold out for the babies.Subscriber Portion

    We get a message asking about the conservative one joke and whether we get bored of it.

    The Ten Questions for Adam Yenser


    Anarchy, Joy, and Fleeing New York | The Michael Malice Interview May 25, 2021

    On The Babylon Bee Interview Show, Ethan and Dan talk to our Anarchist scholar, Michael Malice. They talk about Augustine, leaving New York, and the benefits of humor in dark times. This is Michael Malice’s fifth time on The Babylon Bee podcast. He has been one of the leading voices for the Anarchist movement appearing on The Joe Rogan Experience and many more. He has written several books, including organizing his newest book, The Anarchy Handbook, available wherever you get books. He also hosts the podcast “Your Welcome” available on wherever you get podcasts.

    Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

    To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans

    Topics Discussed

    Malice being mentioned in a Bee article

    Finding humor in the darkness

    The Cave and The Light

    Augustine

    Plato vs Aristotle

    Ronald Reagan

    Forgetting name trick

    Michael Malice’s Twitter following

    What makes a good tweet

    Liz Cheney and war mongering

    Liz Cheney or Caitlyn Jenner for president

    USA today on current Republicans

    Moving to Austin

    Current state of New York

    Michael Malice’s new hobbies

    Learning to drive

    The Anarchist Handbook

    Process of self-publishing

    Chesterton’s Gateway

    Chesterton’s Fence

    Jordan Peterson

    Benefits of humor

    Gavin Newsom and The French Laundry

    Do not give into evil

    Pure beauty

    Helping people feel less alone

    Donation story

    Safety valve for the mind

    Terrible experiences being a good thing

    Chasing your own hat

    High end collectibles

    Senses of humor in people

    Subscriber Portion

    Cryptocurrency

    10 questions for an Anarchist

    War

    Political parties

    Alexander Hamilton

    America


    The Bee Reads LOTR Episode 17: The Great River May 22, 2021

    Kyle, Dan, and Jonathan Watson from The One Ring, follow the Fellowship as they leave Lorien and head down The Great River, covering chapters 8 and 9 of Book 2. Galadriel gives them gifts that differ in significant ways from the film adaptation and Legolas does something way more awesome than sliding down a staircase on a shield. They also answer subscriber questions and comments. It’s another episode of The Bee Reads The Lord of the RIngs!


    THE BEE WEEKLY: Dinosaur Bones and Fighting Grizzly Bears May 21, 2021

    In this Bee Weekly, Kyle and Ethan talk to Mark Armitage of the Dinosaur Soft Tissue Research Institute about non-fossilized tissue being found in dinosaur bones and what that might mean for the war between science and religion. They also bring on Senior Writer Frank J. Fleming, our resident expert on animals and women, to talk about how women can gain confidence in fighting vicious animals. There’s the usual weird news of the week, glorious hate mail, and more!

    Intro

    Ethan returns from his trip

    Kyle has to chase his cat after it takes a ride in his engine

    Upcoming Interview

    Ethan and Dan talk to Michael Malice for round 5!

    We Read YouTube Comments

    Weird News

    Lady Trespasses At Miami High School, Poses As Student In Order To Gain Instagram Followers

    Chinese Man Discovered Glitch In KFC Online Ordering System And Stole Almost $19,000 Worth Of Food

    Rachel Maddow Says She Has To Rewire Herself To Not See Unmasked People As A Threat Now That Mask Mandate Is Gone

    Ohio Is Offering Vaccinated Citizens A Chance To Win A Million Dollars

    This Black Guy Disguised Himself As A White Dude In Order To Commit Series Of Burglaries In LA

    Chicago Has Released 1000 Feral Cats Over The Past Decade To Tackle Rat Problem

    Man Balances Pool Cue On Forehead For 2 Hours, 16 Minutes For Guinness Record

    Segment 1

    Which animals would win in a fight? Animal and women expert Frank Fleming joins us to report on his findings.

    Kyle and Ethan talk to Frank about his woman's guide to fighting animals

    Segment 2

    Kyle and Ethan talk to Mark Armitage of the Dinosaur Soft Tissue Research Institute.

    Hate Mail

    A YouTube subscriber wants us to spice up our channel. Kyle and Ethan come up with some ideas to spice up the channel.

    Subscriber Portion

    Bonus Hate Mail

    Subscriber Headlines of the week

    Nashville Trip


    The Most Unconservative Right-Wing Comedian: The Brent Pella Interview May 18, 2021

    On The Babylon Bee Interview Show, Ethan and Trevor talk to comedian Brent Pella. They talk about comedy without an agenda, cancel culture, and his hatred for Gavin Newsom. Brent Pella has performed stand-up comedy around the country and gained fame on YouTube doing sketch comedy. Some of his most popular impressions have been Eminem, Gavin Newsom, Joe Rogan, and many others. You can see when Brent is performing near you at his website.

    Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

    To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans

    Topics Discussed

    Being without an agenda

    Being seen as a conservative comedian

    Mocking the left

    How Brent grew up

    Making fun of yourself

    Hanging out with J.P. Sears

    Wearing masks

    Getting canceled

    Nick Cannon

    Gina Carano

    Impressions

    Gov. Newsom

    Trying out different comedic personas

    Finding a political label

    Political party labels

    Georgia voting laws

    Intentions being assigned

    Having in-depth conversations

    Improv

    UCB and Groundlings

    Subscriber Portion

    Brent’s origin into comedy

    Bombing on a cruise ship

    Best stand-up comics

    Actors

    10 questions


    Heroes of the Faith and Defending the Family May 14, 2021

    On The Babylon Bee Weekly, Kyle and Ethan talk about heroes of the faith like the kid-punching pastor and the man who showed worship teams everywhere how to play the drums. They talk about G.K. Chesterton’s argument in defense of the family. Kyle is also subjected to the next ten questions in our exclusive subscriber lounge.

    Intro:

    About the YouTube channel

    Heroes of the Faith 1

    Oceans Metal Drummer: https://youtu.be/POwayWGeQAU

    Coffin Preacher: https://youtu.be/5OImocOKy4I

    Kid punching pastor: https://youtu.be/Q19qRUBj-ic

    Chesterton In Defense Of The Family:

    Chesterton starts talking about how people claim to travel the world in order to experience humanity when they are really leaving it in this chapter of Heretics: On Certain Modern Writers and the Institution of the Family.

    SUBSCRIBER EXCLUSIVE LOUNGE:

    Kyle answers second ten questions


    Skillet’s John Cooper On Listening To Christ Over Celebrities May 11, 2021

    On The Babylon Bee Interview Show, Kyle and Ethan talk to John Cooper of Skillet. They talk about CCM fame, discovering Petra, and weird band names. John Cooper is the lead singer, bassist, and producer for Skillet. Skillet has become one of the best-selling bands with two Grammy award nominations and has gone platinum twelve times. He has recently written a book titled Awake and Alive to Truth, where he dives into the most asked questions in modern culture.

    Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

    To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans

    Topics Discussed

    Journey to CCM fame

    Viral Facebook post

    Being convicted with faith

    Awake and Alive To Truth Book

    Becoming famous young

    Celebrity Christians

    Growing up without Rock music

    MTV and Beat It

    Michael W. Smith

    Seeing Petra live

    Stryper story

    Comparing Skillet to other bands

    Secret to weird band names

    Korn

    Googling Skillet

    Iron Maiden

    Duets

    Raising kids with the Skillet voice

    Touring with kids

    Subscriber Portion

    Pyrotechnic story

    Props

    John Cooper’s gymnastics skills

    Band’s feeling entitled

    Creed story

    Positive lyrics

    Almost becoming Bono

    Women in the band

    10 questions


    The Bee Reads LOTR Episode 16: Welcome To Elfland May 08, 2021

    Kyle, Dan, and Jonathan Watson of The One Ring make it to Elfland in this week's episode of The Bee Reads The Lord Of The Rings! To watch or listen to this week's episode, go to BabylonBee.com/Plans.


    THE BEE WEEKLY: Linkin’ Pork and Very Catholic Presidents May 07, 2021

    On The Babylon Bee Weekly, Ethan is joined by guest hosts Trevor Andersen and Dr. Thaddeus Williams. They talk about the weirdest of news like an elderly couple using morse code to escape an assisted living facility and Biden being called “a very Catholic president who supports abortion rights.” Thaddeus gives the best Linkin Park stories while Ethan and Trevor share little known pork facts in our newest segment: Linkin’ Pork. Hate mail this week comes from a reader who found our comments on Latter Day Saints to be “tasteless and unfunny.”

    Intro

    It’s Mother’s Day this weekend, so naturally The Babylon Bee Podcast invited Thaddeus Williams to join Trevor Andersen and Ethan Nicolle! HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!

    Subscriber Comments

    Youtube Comments

    Subscriber Dare

    Weird News

    • British Man Arrested After 4mph Police Chase Down Canal For 8 Miles

    • Police In Canada Find Reported COVID-19 Violation In Restaurant Was Just A Mannequin

    • Elderly Couple Uses Military Morse Code Training To Escape Tennessee Assisted Living Facility

    • Caitlyn Jenner -- Olympic Gold Medal Winner And Now Trans Person -- Says Biological Males Should Not Be Allowed To Compete In Women's Sports

    • The Washington Post Referred to Biden As "a very Catholic president who supports abortion rights.”

    • A City In Switzerland Is Offering Beggars One-Way Tickets Anywhere In Europe As Long As They Don’t Come Back

    • Priest 'Baptises' Baby Using A Water Pistol

    • Gymnast Performs 36 Consecutive One-Handed Backflips To Break His Own Guinness Record

    Linkin’ Pork

    Hate Mail

    Subscriber Portion

    Thaddeus stories’

    Bonus Hate Mail

    Subscriber Headlines of the Week

    Thaddeus 10 Questions


    Christian Astrophysicist Explains Young Earth: Dr. Jason Lisle Interview May 04, 2021

    On The Babylon Bee Interview Show, Kyle and Ethan talk to Christian astrophysicist, speaker, and author, Dr. Jason Lisle. They talk about dinosaurs and cavemen, evidence of a young earth, and the Bible as a history book. Dr. Lisle obtained a Master’s degree and Ph.D. in astrophysics at the University of Colorado. He has since written a number of best selling books on the topic of creation including: Taking Back Astronomy, Stargazer’s Guide to the Night Sky, the Ultimate Proof of Creation, Discerning Truth, and Understanding Genesis. He also founded the Biblical Science Institute, where they help defend the Christian worldview against people who call it unscientific.

    Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

    To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans

    Topics Discussed

    Bible as a history book

    The problem of death before sin

    Genesis being doctrine

    Snopes article about creationism being a conspiracy

    Humans are all one race

    Current state of Young Earth Creationists scholarship

    Human origins

    Dinosaurs and cavemen

    Dragons

    Evidence of the Young Earth

    Carbon dating

    Origin of the universe explained with popcorn

    Subscriber Portion

    Comets

    The great flood

    Geological evidence of the flood

    DNA

    Theological problems with Aliens

    Slugs on the Arc

    Accuracy of the Interstellar movie

    Blackholes

    Distant starlight problem

    Problem with measuring speed of light

    10 Questions


    THE BEE WEEKLY: Racist Soap Dispensers and Headlines By Kids Apr 30, 2021

    THE BEE WEEKLY: Racist Soap Dispensers and Headlines By Kids

    On The Babylon Bee Weekly, Kyle and Ethan are joined by stand-up comedian Trevor Andersen again. They talk about drag racing cops and the racism built into automatic soap dispensers. We hear the best headline pitches by our subscribers' children and find a new hero of the faith. As always we end in hate mail, this one most likely coming from a disheartened satire-hating robot.

    Intro

    Trevor Andersen is back on the podcast to guest host.

    Coming up next Tuesday we have Dr. Jason Lisle, a young earth creationist on the interview show.

    We read subscriber comments and YouTube comments

    Weird News

    1. Greyhound Wins Race In New Zealand, But Is Later Discovered To Be On Methamphetamine

    2. Michigan Woman Glues Eye Shut After Mistaking Nail Glue For Eye Drops

    3. Oklahoma Woman Charged With Felony For Not Returning VHS Tape 21 Years Ago

    4. Two D.C. Police Cars Were Totaled After Officers Decided To Drag Race Each Other

    5. Florida Family Accused Of Selling Bleach As A "miracle" Cure For COVID-19

    6. Automatic Soap Dispensers Are Racist Now

    7. Biden Was The Only World Leader With A Mask On During Virtual Climate Summit

    8. British Speed-Eater Drinks Capri Sun in 15.71 Seconds For Guinness Record

    Kids Pitch Babylon Bee Headlines

    Buy Abigail Shrier’s 'Irreversible Damage' (Save $18.99 with this link!): babylonbee.com/damage

    Heroes of the Faith

    Joanna Southcott

    Hate Mail

    We get hate mail from a Stephen Hawking robot

    Subscriber Portion

    We talk about what books we’re currently reading

    BONUS HATE MAIL


    “Political Correctness is Deadly”: The Zuby Interview Apr 27, 2021

    On The Babylon Bee Interview Show, Kyle and Ethan talk to rapper, podcast host, author, Zuby. They talk about going viral, disgusting English food, and political correctness. Zuby first gained fame for a video of him beating the women's deadlift record. Since going viral, Zuby has gained over 700,000 followers and sold 25,000 albums independently. His most recent album, Word of Zuby, just became the most funded hip-hop project on Kickstarter in the U.K. You can pre-order his album and find his book on getting swol by going to Zuby’s website.

    Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

    To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans

    Topics Discussed

    Opening rap

    Kickstarter feat

    Being a contrarian on Twitter

    Zuby’s origin story

    Zuby’s impression of the United States

    Impression of California

    American food

    Reason for the British empire

    Stargazy pie

    Studying at Oxford

    Representing honesty

    Christianity in Zuby’s music

    Speaking out on gender

    Covid lockdowns

    Terms being changed

    BLM tweet

    UK police

    Truth over feelings

    Speaking out

    Silent majority vs a silenced majority

    Checkmate move

    Objective reality

    The overblown risk

    The incentive to lie

    Obesity

    “Political correctness is deadly”

    Being a contrarian to tell the truth

    Subscriber Portion

    Getting swol

    Zuby’s book

    Guns

    Beyond political solutions

    Trade off between freedom and risk

    Zuby’s influences

    Stupid things people have said to Zuby

    10 questions


    Sins and Dangerous Croissants Apr 23, 2021

    On The Babylon Bee Weekly Podcast, Kyle and Ethan are joined by guest host, Pastor Craig Hamilton of Church Two42. They find the strangest of news like the police being called on a woman afraid of a croissant and Twitter censoring James O’Keefe for doing actual reporting. Kyle and Ethan hear about Pastor Craig’s fundraiser to build a church that isn’t in his front yard and play the game,‘Sin or Not Sin, where Pastor Craig lets you know if a well-done steak or jazzercise will be getting you in trouble with the good Lord. As always we end with our everlasting hate mail, this time coming from a YouTube commenter that was most likely wearing a mask when he made his comment.

    Intro

    Welcome Pastor Craig Hamilton of ChurchTwo42

    Coming up next Tuesday is our interview with Zuby!

    We read YouTube comments

    Weird News

    Suspected Drunken Driver Speeds Into School’s Mock DUI Demonstration Nearly Striking Students

    Tire Slasher Leaves Severed Finger Behind On Woman’s Driveway

    Breakfast Taco Full Of Crystal Meth Found By TSA Agents At Houston Airport

    A Lord of the Rings Online Player Leveled A Hobbit To Level 130 In The Most Hobbit Way Possible: Cooking Pies

    Iran Censors Soccer Match Over 100 Times Due To Female Referee

    A Woman In Poland Called Animal Control Because Of A Croissant That She Thought Was A Dangerous Animal

    Iran Censors Soccer Match Over 100 Times Due To Female Referee

    A Woman In Poland Called Animal Control Because Of A Croissant That She Thought Was A Dangerous Animal

    James O'Keefe Of Project Veritas Has Been Booted Off Of Twitter, And Now He's Suing For Defamation

    The Oregonian Issued A Tweet Assuring Readers That It Was Only A White Guy Who Was Killed By Police So No Need To Riot And Loot

    Marvel At This Beast Of A Man As He Grabs A Bobcat Off His Wife, Yeets It Halfway Across His Yard, And Chases It Down With A Gun

    Idaho Man Reclaims Guinness Record By Catching 107 Tennis Balls In An Oversized Bucket Placed On His Head

    Ask Pastor Craig

    Pastor Craig talks about how he started doing church on his driveway.

    Help Fundraise Pastor Craigs Church

    Donate to Pastor Craig's Church Here

    Sin or Not a Sin with Pastor Craig

    Hate Mail

    Subscriber Portion

    Ask Pastor Craig Continued

    The Ten Questions

    Bonus Hate Mail


    Rejected By David Letterman, Accepted By Christ: The John Branyan Interview Apr 20, 2021

    On The Babylon Bee Interview Show, Ethan and Dan talk to stand-up comedian, John Branyan. They talk comedy, frogs, and bad Atheist memes. John Branyan has been doing stand-up comedy for the last 25 years. His ‘Shakespeare’ version of The Three Little Pigs has been viewed more than a million times on YouTube. He has written his second book titled, Life is Hardy-Har-Hard: How to Use Comedy to Make Your Life Better in which he discusses why we need to laugh more at ourselves when we fall down, especially if a banana peel is involved.

    Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

    To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans

    Topics Discussed

    Ethan’s on drugs and Dan’s replaced Kyle

    Indiana

    Being rejected by David Letterman

    Comedy as a weapon and a shield

    Why falling down is good

    Frogs

    Story time with Ethan

    The most important topic

    Why we need to bring humor into Christianity

    Comedy as a shield

    Banana peels

    Chasing your own hat

    Subscriber Portion

    Profanity

    Paul’s choice of words

    Bad atheist memes

    10 questions

    Another great Carman story


    Woke Ice Cream and Secret Racism Apr 16, 2021

    Woke Ice Cream and Secret Racism

    This is The Babylon Bee Weekly for the week of April 16, 2021.

    Kyle and Ethan talk about the weirdest of news like the Pentagon developing a microchip to detect Covid-19 symptoms before they arise and all the ways you could be a racist and not even know it. After that, they examine how ice cream is trying to dismantle the police and how video games are putting in disabled women as World War 2 soldiers. As always, we end in delicious hate mail that our bold CEO Seth Dillon responded to while swimming in his pool of $100 bills.

    Introduction

    Kyle and Ethan talk about what’s new and what’s happened to them lately.

    Ethan’s glass table broke

    Next Tuesday our interview with comedian John Branyan will come out on Tuesday

    Buy things from our store, like this shirt

    Subscriber Dare

    We want to wish a happy birthday to Kristen who listens to us while running.

    Kyle will read Stuff That's Good in his Kermit the frog voice.

    Stuff That’s Good

    Kyle likes Hoptea! (In his Kermit voice)

    Ethan likes Hand Rolled Documentary

    Weird News

    Groom's Mom Discovers Bride Is Her Long-Lost Daughter On Wedding Day

    Two Men Arrested In India For Using Monkeys To Steal Cash From Unsuspecting Victims

    Police Bust Mattress Factory Using Discarded Masks Instead Of Cotton To Fill Their Mattresses

    Cat Rescued After 18 Days Stuck In Arkansas Tree

    Co-Founder Of BLM Just Bought a $1.4 million L.A. "compound" In A Rich, Largely White Neighborhood

    David Hogg Drops Pillow Venture He Launched During Spat With Mike Lindell

    Steak-Umm Takes Out Neil DeGrasse Tyson AT THE KNEES In Epic Tweet Storm

    Chicago Car Thief Participates In Zoom Court Hearing For Stealing A Car From Inside Another Stolen Car

    The Pentagon Has Developed A Microchip That Goes Under Your Skin And Can Detect Covid-19 Before Symptoms Arise.

    Idaho Man Stacks 34 Bars Of Wet Soap For Guinness World Record

    10 Signs You Might Be A Secret Racist

    Most Bizarre Companies That Have Gone Woke

    Hate Mail

    Subscriber Portion

    Check out all our cool stuff in the lounge

    Love Mail

    Bonus Hate Mail

    Top Subscriber Headlines of the Week

    Battery-Powered Mowers


    Satanic Metal Bands For Jesus And Join The Corporate Resistance Apr 09, 2021

    Kyle and Ethan are joined by standup comedian Trevor Andersen, who viewers may recognize from some of our sketches on YouTube. They talk about Satanic musicians who are or were in the closet of following Jesus and how people who are on the side of every major corporation now think that they are part of the resistance. There’s weird news, glorious and salty hate mail, and apparently, Jordan Peterson is Red Skull.

    Introduction

    Kyle and Ethan are joined by guest host, Trevor Andersen. You may recognize Trevor from our Teacher Union sketch and a few other news desks.

    Upcoming Interview

    We will have Biola Professor Dr. Thaddeus Williams and Monique Duson of the Center For Biblical Unity! They worked together on a book Confronting Injustice Without Compromising Truth.

    Subscriber Dare:

    This one comes from Carla Pyle. She wants Kyle, Ethan, and Trevor to make the laughing guy, Patrick, laugh for 60 seconds straight.

    Weird News

    3D-Printed Cremation Urn Replicates Your Loved One's Head

    A Swan Is Terrorizing Homeowners In The UK By Constantly Knocking On People’s Front Doors

    Man Returns From Shopping Trip To Find 15,000 Bees In His Car

    MMA Fighter Loses Finger During Match, Causing First Ever TKO By Detached Finger

    French Police On Trail Of International Gang Of Lego Looters

    Marvel Releases Captain America Comic With Red Skull Jordan Peterson

    Australian Man Beaten Up By Octopus While Swimming At The Beach

    Family Kicked Off Of Spirit Airlines Flight For 2-Year-Old Not Wearing Mask

    Soviet Version Of Lord Of The Rings Discovered After 30 Years

    Tiny Rabbit Is Obsessed With Giant Girlfriend Who's 4 Times His Size

    Canadian Boy's 1.02-Inch Baby Tooth Declared A World Record

    Jimmy Kimmel stole our joke!

    Check out our Be Apart Of The Resistance Sketch

    Satanic Metal Bands That Were Actually Closeted Jesus Lovers

    Hate Mail

    Subscriber Lounge

    Trevor bombing story

    Bonus Hate Mail

    Subscriber Headlines

    Reading Mr. Andersen’s headlines

    Trevor does the 10 questions


    The Catholic Rock Star: Bishop Barron Interview Apr 06, 2021

    This is The Babylon Bee Interview Show.

    On The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk to Bishop Robert Barron. Kyle and Ethan talk with Bishop Barron about wokism, Catholic politicians, and why he loves the Coen Brothers. Bishop Barron with his media company, Word On Fire, engages the culture with videos on movies, music, and evangelization. Bishop Barron’s YouTube channel has been growing since starting in 2007 and has become a voice for Catholics in the culture. Bishop Barron has appeared in interviews with Ben Shapiro, Jordan Peterson, Dave Rubin, and many more.

    Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

    To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans

    Topics Discussed

    Starting Word On Fire

    Bad advice for connecting with young people

    Engaging the culture creatively

    Self inventive culture

    Starting with beauty

    Chesterton wants more holes in your skull

    Religious themes in movies

    Affirmative orthodoxy

    God is revealing himself through the culture

    Private belief vs Public belief

    The modern peace treaty

    Propose vs imposing

    Mario Cuomo

    Catholic politicians

    How to lead the way in the argument against abortion

    Engage the people at a high level

    Pope Francis

    Libertarianism and Catholicism

    Classical Liberalism

    Marxism

    Subscriber Portion

    Chesterton

    Bishop Barron as a universalist

    Evangelization

    Reasonable hope

    Catholic teaching on grace

    Dare We Hope

    Wokeness as the greatest enemy

    G.K. Chesterton view on culture

    Buffered self

    Wokism takes itself too seriously

    Cross breaking the circle of the rationalism

    Pre-modernism

    Top five Popes

    10 Questions


    Rabbits and Eggs Point To Jesus and Miss Me With Those Devil Shoes Apr 02, 2021

    This is the Babylon Bee Weekly for the week of 4/2/21.

    Kyle and Ethan are joined by good friend Kira Davis, editor-at-large of Red State. They talk about how easter bunnies and dyed chicken eggs clearly point to the life, death, and resurrection of our Lord. Trump crashed a wedding to give a campaign speech, there are devil shoes now, and the squirrels are definitely up to something!

    Introduction

    Kyle and Ethan and Kira

    Interview Show Upcoming

    Bishop Barron On the Show This Week

    Chesterton, Catholic Movie Reviews, Wokeism, and Catholic Politicians

    Stuff That’s Good

    Kyle likes the Snyder Cut

    Ethan likes Journey Guitars so much that he does a worship-generated song.

    Buy your Journey Guitars here!

    Kira likes her short film Minty. It’s a short film about Harriet Tubman.

    Watch it here.

    Subscriber Dare

    A big ol' birthday shoutout to Kyle Eckles

    Weird News

    • Woman Rescued After Wandering Through Town's Sewer System For 3 Weeks
    • The Ever Given Has Been Freed And Is Moving Again After 6 Days Blocking The Suez Canal
    • Trump Crashes Wedding At Mar-A-Lago And Gives 2-Minute Political Speech Trolling Joe Biden
    • Rapper Lil Nas X Comes Out With Limited Edition "Satan Shoes" That Include A Drop Of Human Blood
    • Florida Mom Shows Up To Daughter's School Wearing Boxing Glove, Fights Child, Gets Arrested
    • Anchorage Costco Customers Say Ravens Are Stealing Their Groceries In The Parking Lot
    • New Jersey Gym Owners Offer Free Membership To Those Who Don't Get COVID-19 Vaccine
    • Eastern Australia Experiences ‘Monumental’ Mouse Plague
    • California Construction Workers Find 2 People Living In Cave They Were About To Destroy
    • 'Emotional Support' Python Greets Officers During DUI Stop
    • Drunk Driver 'Hands Themself In' By Crashing Outside Police Station
    • Squirrel Steals Amazon Package From Porch In Chicago Video
    • Florida Man Sees 'Avengers: Endgame' 191 Times For Guinness World Record

    Check Out The New Elmo Cartoon

    Elmo Teaches Some New X Words On Today's Sesame Street!

    Origins of Easter

    • It is a spiritual time of year for people of faith around the world. A time where we remember the life, death, and resurrection of our Lord.

    Why An Easter Bunny?

    • In ancient Mesopotamia and Syria, three thousand years ago, the hare symbolized death and rebirth to these ancient people

    Dyeing Easter Eggs

    • The word ‘dye’ in it which sounds like ‘die.’ It reminds us of the suffering and death of our Savior on the cross on Good Friday. Jesus ‘Dyed’ for our sins.

    Hate Mail

    Subscriber Lounge

    Mailbag

    Bonus Hate Mail


    Comedic Ghost Stories: The Erica Rhodes Interview Mar 30, 2021

    In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk to stand up comedian, Erica Rhodes. They talk about the state of comedy, one line summaries of classic books, and ghost stories. Erica has performed stand up comedy all around the country and has a stand up album, Sad Lemon. She has appeared on Modern Family, New Girl, and many other shows. Erica appears on many podcasts and chooses to subvert expectations by writing on her blog, instead of having her own podcast.

    Topics Discussed

    Coffee and Mormons

    Writing blogs over podcasts

    Non-Binary politically

    Comedy for a lone wolf

    Free thinking has bad connotations

    Game stop could be Russians

    Blog about father

    Erica Rhodes Blog Post

    Kyle’s origin

    Kyle’s tattoo

    Ghosts

    Woody Allen

    Erica’s mom being oblivious to ghosts

    Ethan’s ghost story

    Kyle’s ghost story

    Surviving Death

    Erica’s dad

    Subscriber Portion

    Ethan’s trip to Norway

    Bombing story

    Hostage situation

    Growing up Episcopalian

    Fleabag

    Ethan and Kyle interviewing skills

    Practicing for Gina

    Therapy with Erica Rhodes


    New York Times Smears The Bee and How To Use Tragedy To Score Political Points Mar 26, 2021

    Kyle and Ethan talk to The Babylon Bee CEO Seth Dillon about The Bee’s recent mention in the New York Times as an example of a far-right site trafficking in misinformation disguised as “satire”. Kyle and Ethan talk about how to score political points during a national tragedy, why we can’t reach for the stars until we have a progressive tax system, and what not to do at the zoo.

    Intro

    Ethan Nicolle is on weird drugs

    Kyle had car trouble

    Weird News

    Washington Man Arrested For Allegedly Stealing Slide From Playground, And Mounting It To His Child's Bunk Bed

    Police Seize Real Gun Disguised As Nerf Toy In North Carolina Drug Raid

    Man Arrested After Taking His Toddler Into An Elephant Enclosure At The San Diego Zoo

    This Australian Performer Really Wants You To Call Him By His Preferred Pronouns, Which Are Tree, Treeself

    Virginia Police Officer Shot During Attempt To Catch An Escaped Cow

    Why Did Bernie Sanders Criticize Elon Musk With This Anti-Space Travel Tweet?

    President Trump Building His Own Social Media Platform?

    Mike Lindell Free Speech Website

    President Biden Fell Down Air Force One Stairs On Friday Before Heading To Georgia…

    Southern Minnesota Man Stole $1,250 Worth Of Girl Scout Cookies From Loading Dock

    Maine Man’s Car Stolen From Police Station While He Was Inside Reporting Suspected Nike Theft

    United Airlines Flight Diverted, Man Arrested, After Report Of ‘Someone's Ear Being Bit Off'

    Taiwanese People Are Changing Their Names To 'Salmon' To Qualify For Free Sushi

    Mattress Retail Chain Breaks Record For Tallest Stack Of Mattresses

    CEO Seth Dillon On The Line

    Seth comments on the New York Times hit piece

    The Babylon Bee Guide: 7 Ways To Score Political Points Online After A National Tragedy

    Here Are 25 Of The Worst Knee-Jerk Reactions From Woke Twitter Users Who Assumed The CO Shooter Was White

    Hate Mail

    Janice is ashamed of the Babylon Bee

    Subscriber Portion

    Bonus Hate Mail

    Mailbag

    Best Forum Headlines of the week

    Depressing Stories


    Christian Apologist Canceled By CNN: The Sean McDowell Interview Mar 23, 2021

    This is the Babylon Bee Interview Show.

    In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk to Sean McDowell. They talk about Purity Culture, the BLM organization, Yoga, and evil G-Rated Disney films. Sean is an author, speaker, and apologetics professor at Biola University. Sean has earned his P.H.D. in Apologetics and Worldview Studies from Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. He has since used his knowledge to equip the church in apologetics speaking at conferences, schools, and churches nationwide. Sean has authored, co-author or edited over 18 books on various topics in apologetics.

    Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

    To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans.

    Topics Discussed

    Difference teaching between high school and college students

    Chasing Love

    Science and faith

    Is Christianity good?

    Problem with Evil

    Beach ball metaphor

    Objective standard of ethics

    Secular worldview in Christian homes

    G rated relativistic worldview

    Frozen 2

    Pocahontas problem

    Matrix vs Saving Private Ryan

    CNN interview

    Rick Warren's secret library

    Sean’s father on tolerance

    Buzzwords from the Left

    Tolerance

    Response towards BLM

    Discernment towards the BLM organization

    Coleman Hughes

    How do Christians push for more conversations

    Yoga

    Purity culture

    Questioning phase over rebellious phase

    Subscriber Portion

    Purity Culture

    Critiquing purity culture

    Fate of the apostles

    Bartolomeu

    Peter being crucified upside down

    Christian schools


    It’s For The Kids and National Socialism Mar 19, 2021

    This is the Bee Weekly 3/19/21.

    Kyle and Ethan talk about the week’s biggest stories like a man sitting in a pool of bean dip for a good cause, brave teacher’s unions literally laying their lives down for the kids, and the entire world becoming national socialists. Ethan talks about losing his dad this week, the guys will do anything for money, and we get sent the best hate mail.

    Intro

    Kyle and Ethan talk about their weeks. Kyle has been sick as a dog and hasn’t been in the office. Ethan talks about losing his dad this week.

    Announcement:

    The Lord of the Rings podcast will continue behind the paywall starting this Saturday

    Subscriber Dare

    From Mitchell Ferencevich: Read John 3:16-18 on Podcast in Hawaii Pidgin Bible on YouVersion Bible app. Shout out to his wife Melissa Ferencevich. She's the best wife and mother of 6 and goes by "Proverbs30gunwoman" on Fortnite.

    Weird News

    These Insane Videos Show What Happens When You Improperly Store A Truckload Of Fireworks In Your House, A Lesson Just Learned By One SoCal Homeowner

    Florida School Principal, Daughter Arrested For Allegedly Hacking Student Accounts To Cast Homecoming Votes

    Did The Hill Publish A Fake Video Of Biden?

    Marvel Is Rolling Out A Gay Captain America

    Man Sits In Bean Dip For 24 Hours To Promote California Restaurant

    Columbia U. Will Have 6 Separate Graduations Segregated By Race, Income, Sexuality, and Ethnicity. Seriously.

    Here It Is: Possibly One Of The Worst Tweet Of All Time.

    Website Hiring 'Minecraft' Gardening Consultants For Virtual Landscaping

    Cat Trapped In Tree For Over A Week Rescued, Given Spaghetti

    Baby Kangaroo Found After Night On The Loose In New York

    Loose Ram Chases Ontario Cyclist Down Rural Road

    Dog Driver Blamed For Crashing Owner's Jeep Into Wisconsin Building

    Look: Home-Invading Raccoon Found Sleeping In Dishwasher

    British Man Drinks Capri Sun In 16.65 Seconds To Set Guinness Record

    Man Catches 67 Pieces Of Caramel Corn In His Mouth For Guinness Record

    Is THIS like the Nazis??

    Now watch The Cartoon!

    Teacher’s Union Negotiations

    Check out the YouTube channel for more video content.

    Hate Mail

    Susan is happy she let her Babylon Bee subscription expire.

    Ultra-Exclusive Subscriber Lounge

    Subscriber Update

    Mail Bag (Not hate mail)

    We were probably mean to Megan Markle. Or not.

    Bonus Hate Mail

    We believe this man has had a few to drink and doesn’t like the pop-up ads.

    Subscriber Headlines of the Week

    Kyle’s Christian Book Store stories


    Liberty and Kid's books: Julie Borowski Interview Mar 16, 2021

    This is the Babylon Bee Interview Show.

    In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk to YouTube influencer and Libertarian advocate, Julie Borowski. While working at FreedomWorks, Julie rose to YouTube and Facebook fame by being a young voice for the Libertarian Party. She has since written two children books titled Nobody Knows How To Make A Pizza and The Peaceful Porcupine. Kyle and Ethan talk to Julie about the failing Libertarian party, spanking kids, and anarchy.

    Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

    To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans

    Topics Discussed

    What does Libertarian mean?

    Children's book about Libertarianism

    Making inside jokes about Libertarians

    How did Julie get into politics?

    Free State Project conference

    Daycare

    Failure of the Libertarian party

    Jo Jorgenson

    Vice President Candidate Spike

    How Anarchy would play out

    Cops and Libertarianism

    Perfect world vs reality

    Mormon method for Libertarians

    HOA

    Bitcoins

    Morals for a Libertarian

    Parenting kids

    Spanking kids

    Another Calvin story

    Subscriber Portion

    Creative parenting

    Attack on the capitol

    Joe Biden authoritarianism

    Voices on Freedomtoons

    10 questions


    Tweeting Elon and Pouring One Out For Cancelled Homies Mar 12, 2021

    This is the Bee Weekly for 3/12/21.

    Kyle and Ethan are joined by CEO Seth Dillon and Managing Editor Joel Berry. They discuss the eccentric Elon Musk tweeting at The Bee while roasting The Onion, all those who have been recently cancelled in the culture wars, and Alabama kangaroos. Talk turns to Big Tech censorship in the subscriber-exclusive lounge with The Babylon Bee’s CEO and, of course, there’s plenty of weird news and glorious hate mail.

    Intro

    Seth and Joel arrive in beautiful Southern California and everyone announces their preferred pronouns. They want to know what Trump’s breath smells like.

    Subscriber Dare

    We’ll do anything to get you to subscribe. In today’s edition of a segment some call “Dance Monkey Dance” we all wish Knox a very happy 11th birthday!

    Weird News

    From NTB: "Pro-Life Evangelicals for Biden" group says they feel "used and betrayed" by his radical abortion platform

    In one of history's biggest "I told ya so" moments, the group called Pro-Life Evangelicals for Biden has written a letter to the president saying they feel "used and betrayed" for the Democrats' exclusion of the Hyde Amendment from the recent stimulus bill

    The Hyde Amendment is a bill renewed each year since 1976 that makes it so that federal tax dollars can't go toward abortion. There's a whole money laundering scheme Lefties have created with Planned Parenthood and others to give them support in other ways, but it remains illegal for my tax money to be used for the bloody evisceration of unborn babies.

    Wolf enclosure at Chinese zoo contains only a domesticated dog

    A Chinese zoo's wolf enclosure is gaining attention online after a visitor captured video of a domesticated dog in the enclosure labeled for its wild canine cousins.

    The filmer said a zoo employee told him there used to be a wolf in the cage, but it died of old age.

    An official with Forestry Bureau Office of Xianning City said the zoo told authorities the dog was being temporarily housed in the wolf enclosure to prevent people from trying to sneak into the zoo by scaling the wall into the habitat.

    TWO CATS in different states reunited with families after four years

    Story 1: North Carolina family reunited with lost cat after four years

    Story 2: Missing New Jersey cat turns up four years later in Pittsburgh

    What’s up with all these cats disappearing for four years? Theories?

    Turkey crashes through window into California dentist's office

    "It clawed up multiple walls to where we're gonna have to repaint in there. Some of the glass that came in cut the dental chairs ... and we'll need some deep cleaning," McDonald told the Sacramento Bee.

    Animal control referred McDonald to Gold Country Wildlife Rescue, which sent someone to the scene to evict the turkey.

    "There was no wrangling this bird as an amateur. The wildlife lady kind of struggled with it," McDonald said.

    Escaped kangaroo captured after two days on the loose in Alabama

    The kangaroo was supposed to spend a few days at a farm in Winfield before continuing on to the home of a buyer in Tennessee, but the marsupial slipped loose from one of its handlers Monday and fled.

    What did the Kangaroo do during it’s two days loose in Alabama?

    15th century Chinese bowl bought for $35 at Connecticut yard sale

    A small bowl bought for $35 at a Connecticut yard sale was identified as a 600-year-old Chinese antique and is expected to sell for up to $500,000 at auction.

    Sotheby's auction house in New York said the seller, a man who is not being identified, purchased a floral bowl for $35 at a yard sale in New Haven in 2020 and sent photos of the object to auction specialists to see if it was a genuine antique.

    The porcelain bowl was identified as a "lotus bowl" from the court of the Yongle Emperor, who ruled from 1403 until 1424. Only six other lotus bowls from the same period are known to still exist.

    The auction house said the bowl is expected to fetch a high bid of $300,000 to $500,000 -- up to 14,300 times the amount of money it sold for at the yard sale.

    From NTB: Woke madness: 6th grade teacher divides her students into "privileged groups" and "targeted groups" to teach about "oppression"

    A Minnesota middle school teacher taught a lesson on "different types of oppression" and then had her students separate into "Privileged Groups" and "Targeted Groups" based on their group identities — race, sex, religion, sexual orientation, and place of birth.

    The lesson taught by Odelis Anderson, choir teacher (yes a choir teacher did this) at Sunrise Park Middle School in White Bear Lake, MN

    For Kyle:

    Teenager spends 36 hours on swing to break Guinness record

    A 17-year-old New Zealand boy broke a Guinness World Record when he spent 36 consecutive hours swinging on a playground swing set.

    Patrick Cooper, 17, of Hawke's Bay, began swinging at a park in Taradale at 10:23 a.m. Saturday and completed his attempt at 10:23 p.m. Sunday.

    The teenager said he was supposed to start at 9 a.m., but the attempt was delayed when he slept through his alarm.

    Elon Musk Tweeting The Bee

    The Bee has taken on some strange bedfellows. You know like the previous president and the richest man on earth.

    Elon Musk just trolled The Onion by replying to them on Twitter with a plug for The Babylon Bee 😍😂😭 Gone but not forgotten: remembering the cancel culture icons we’ve lost Hate Mail

    Sometimes Seth will personally respond to your hate mail. A dramatic re-enactment.

    Subscriber Portion Cancel Culture/Big Tech Censorship with Managing Editor Joel Berry and/or CEO Seth Dillon, what The Babylon Bee is seeing right now in the war on free speech The Ten Questions for The Babylon Bee’s CEO and Managing Editor! Bonus Hate Mail

    Abigail calls us racists over our recent coverage of the former royals: Harry and Megan.

    Subscriber Headlines of the Week Got any cool stories?

    Creating The Christian Metal Genre: Michael Sweet Interview Mar 11, 2021

    In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk to Christian heavy metal legend, Michael Sweet. Michael Sweet is the lead singer/guitar player for the band Stryper. Stryper has produced a new album titled Even The Devil Believes available wherever you get music. Kyle and Ethan find out about Stryper’s origins, throwing Bible’s into the audience, and where that van with a machine gun came from.

    Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

    To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans.

    Topics Discussed

    Christian Metal

    Stryper color’s origin

    Response to criticism

    Why Stryper isn’t cool

    Stryper’s accomplishments

    Kyle’s discovery of Stryper

    Stryper making a comeback

    Being spat on

    Oz and Michael’s style of guitar playing

    Album recording tricks for Stryper

    Even The Devil Believes

    Subscriber Portion

    Newsboys

    Touring with Boston

    Lessons in falsetto

    Stryper playing a part of the metal community

    Driving around with a machine gun

    Babylon Bee Song

    10 questions

    Carmen meeting


    Death by Rooster and Observing Lent While Hating Everybody Mar 05, 2021

    Ethan is joined by Doug Tennapel in Exile and Wes Halula on this Bee Weekly to talk about Texas ditching mask mandates and what it’s like to celebrate Lent while hating everybody. Ethan and Wes also discuss totally substantiated rumors of more Star Wars stars getting cancelled, irony striking at cockfights, and Satanic cats trying to crash passenger airplanes.

    This episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast is brought to you by The Word of the Lord Endures, a fifteen minute, verse-by-verse bible study with Pastor Will Weedon.

    INTRO

    Kyle is gone for this week, but the Bee turned 5 years old, we have 100,000 subscribers on YouTube now, and comedy pitched to the algorithm gets rejected.

    Subscriber Dare (We’ll do anything to get you to subscribe)

    Jason Tate writes, “mention my new podcast Caffeinated Theology on a podcast, and I’ll upgrade my subscription. (Are y’all still doing that? Lol)”

    Michael Poush writes, “ I was on the fence about subscribing, and then I heard you guys talk about how you’d do anything to get people to subscribe. On further review, I never did come up with anything I wanted; no websites to plug or anything. Can I get a voucher for one free shoutout at a later date? Thanks!

    Weird News

    Florida couple find 7-foot alligator lurking in garage

    Passenger flight turns around in Sudan when stowaway cat attacks pilot

    There are blue, pink, and green dogs running wild in Russia and I have questions.

    A rooster killed its owner with a knife.

    This woman was refused service at a grocery store for not wearing a mask so she did what any ordinary person would do

    NC-based Marine sentenced for smuggling firearms to Haiti in plot to train army, become president

    Giant NCAA bracket on Indiana hotel breaks Guinness record

    Totally substantiated Star Wars Rumors

    Star Wars land is crazy right now and everyone is getting cancelled.

    Doug Tennapel in Exile

    Doug Tennapel joins Ethan and Wes to talk about the week’s craziness and also what it’s like to celebrate Lent while hating everyone.

    Hate Mail

    Chayse says we crossed a line with our cat humor.

    Heads Up

    Stay tuned for our upcoming interview with Stryper’s Michael Sweet coming next Tuesday!

    Subscriber Portion

    Ethan, Wes and a mystery guest talk about showrunning and writing in Hollywood.

    Mailbag

    Michelle appreciates how we handled a delicate situation with certain celebrities abandoning the faith.

    Bonus Hate Mail

    The Bee Support asks why Anna cancelled us and she says we make fun of conservatives too much.

    Subscriber Headlines of the Week

    Ginormous Food, Gigantic Cancellation: The Josh Denny Interview Mar 02, 2021

    In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk to stand up comedian, Josh Denny. Josh was the host of Ginormous Food on Food Network until he was cancelled back in 2018 for a tweet. You can support his podcast and comedy on Locals.com by searching Josh Denny. Kyle and Ethan talk to him about how he became a food show host, why McDonalds is worth fighting for, and the future of stand up comedy.

    Topics Discussed

    Making a food network show

    Fault of most competition shows

    Two reasons that will make Josh walk out on a restaurant filming

    Getting emails of doppelgangers

    Creating the wardrobe for your food show

    Project Greenlight

    McDonald's

    Jim Gaffigan’s stances

    Comedians talking against Trump

    George Bush

    Multi racial whiteness

    The absurdity of politics

    Ridicule over arguing

    Winning on absurdity instead of intellectualism

    Being cancelled in 2018

    Silver lining of covid

    Choosing where to spend your money

    The reality of being a comedian

    Subscriber Portion

    Defending the tweet that cancelled

    Masked Singer

    Judging people by the color of your skin

    Being openly Pro-life

    Being educated on your rights

    Problem of censoring bad ideas

    Josh’s way of making comedy

    Racial separation

    Creating bits beyond the first idea

    Jeselnik Offensive

    Time machine

    Putting guard rails on comedy

    Being relatable vs boring

    The Pixar movie Up

    Giving people a new perspective

    Bombing story

    Why you need to bomb

    Auditions

    Self tapes


    Russian Slap Fighting Devotionals and Biblical Archaeology Feb 26, 2021

    Kyle and Ethan from The Babylon Bee Podcast are joined by Kristin Oren who has served as a tireless writer, headline generator, and copy editor for The Babylon Bee. They talk about new Disney Plus show content warnings you should know about, read weird news and hate mail, and meditate upon the spiritual lessons to be gleaned from competitive Russian slap fighting. Kyle and Ethan also talk to Amanda Hope Haley about her new book, The Red-Haired Archaeologist Digs Israel, and how archaeology can help us better understand Bible times.

    Introduction

    Weird News

    Baby monitor catches boy's funny exchange with Alexa when he was unable to sleep

    Panasonic's Nicobo is a pricey robot cat that farts whenever it feels like it

    Man Builds amazing bird village during pandemic

    Philadelphia airport employs robot for contact-free food delivery

    California woman's new ID has photo of her wearing a mask

    ‘Hot mom’ claims Sacramento Catholic school expelled her children because of her online photos

    Puppy born in Oklahoma believed to be the first to survive with six legs

    Idaho woman dresses husband in 35 T-shirts for Guinness record

    Disney Plus Shows That Are Getting Warnings

    YouTube Devotional - Finding Biblical Inspiration In… SLAP FIGHTS

    Topic of the Week: Digging Around Israel

    Amanda Hope Haley talks about her new book, The Red-Haired Archaeologist Digs Israel, and how archaeology can help us better understand Bible times.

    Hate Mail

    Subscriber Portion

    Subscriber Update

    Mailbag

    Bonus Hate Mail

    Steve gives us his address and hopes we die in a camp.

    Subscriber Headlines of the Week

    Kristin answers the ten questions


    Fighting The Left As A Libertarian: Jeff Deist Interview Feb 23, 2021

    This is the Babylon Bee Interview Show.

    In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Dan talk to Jeff Deist. They talk about economics, Covid, and Disneyland security. Jeff is the president of the Mises Institute, where he serves as a writer, public speaker, and advocate for property, markets, and civil society. He is the host of The Human Action Podcast. He previously worked as a longtime advisor and chief of staff to former Congressman Dr. Ron Paul.

    Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

    To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans.

    Topics Discussed

    State of society

    Mises Institute

    Economics for the younger generation

    How economics is all encompassing

    Austrian economics

    Economics being a social science

    Finding ways to implement Libertarianism into society

    Federal Reserve

    Ron DeSantis

    Baby boomers

    Unseen consequences of economic policies

    Riots

    Disneyland security

    Subscriber Portion

    Civilization

    Ownership

    Jeff’s religious origins

    Inside stories of Ron Paul

    Great reset

    What Trump’s victory meant

    10 questions


    The Bee Reads LOTR Episode 8: Fog on the Barrow-Downs Feb 20, 2021

    Kyle and Dan from The Babylon Bee are joined by Jonathan Watson of TheOneRing.Com as they catch up with Frodo, Sam, Merry, and Pippin as they make it to the barrow-downs and immediately run into trouble. There’s some ghosties, ancient evil stirring, and newfound courage found in a dark place.

    The subscriber portion is where all the best content is, so head over to BabylonBee.Com/Plans and sign up to enjoy full-length podcasts!

    Chapter summary: The hobbits leave Tom Bombadil’s house, Frodo almost turns around sad he didn’t get to say goodbye, but Goldberry beckons to them from up ahead and sees them off properly. They lunch and accidentally fall asleep in a wide hollow circular area near a shapeless stone- that seemed to be a landmark or warning in its midst. Sinister fog rolls over them, feeling like a trap, and when the hobbits try to make their way out and into the fog they somehow get separated and captured by barrow-wights. Frodo stabs a hand and calls Tom Bombadil with a song. Tom rescues the hobbits and gives them all daggers which are swords for their size, and has his pony fetch their ponies, and then escorts them to the great east road where they just about make it to Bree.

    Some questions or themes:

    A line that gets adapted into the movie and put into Gandalf’s mouth in Return of the King: “either in dreams or out of them, he could not tell which, Frodo heard sweet singing running in his mind: ” a song that seemed to come like a pale light behind a grey rain-curtain, and growing stronger to turn the veil all to glass and silver, until at last it was rolled back, and a far green country opened before him under a swift sunrise. The vision melted into waking; and there was Tom whistling like a tree-full of birds; and the sun was already slanting down the hill and through the open window. Outside everything was green and pale gold.”

    Tolkien continues to sprinkle the history of the area throughout this chapter.

    “Tom said that it (the dike they thought was the road from a distance) had once been the boundary of a kingdom, but a very long time ago. He seemed to remember something sad about it, and would not say much.”

    The Men of Westernesse made their knives.. The brooch Tom finds for Goldberry has a history. The Dark Lord.. “overcome by evil king of Carn Dum in Land of Angmar.”

    ‘Few now remember them,’ Tom murmured, ‘yet still some go wandering, sons of forgotten kings walking in loneliness, guarding from evil things folk that are heedless.’ The hobbits did not understand his words, but as he spoke they had a vision as it were of a great expanse of years behind them, like a vast shadowy plain over which there strode shapes of Men, tall and grim with bright swords, and last came one with a star on his brow.

    But even as he spoke he turned his glance eastwards, and he saw that on that side the hills were higher and looked down upon them; and all those hills were crowned with green mounds, and on some were standing stones, pointing upwards like jagged teeth out of green gums.

    Tom is Master of his domain. He sings the barrow wights away. He removes any curse from the items in the barrow to make them free to all finders. He calls the ponies back.

    Frodo finds an awakened courage to not leave his friends so easily in the barrow and takes action.

    “There is a seed of courage hidden (often deeply, it is true) in the heart of the fattest and most timid hobbit, waiting for some final and desperate danger to make it grow. Frodo was neither very fat nor very timid; indeed, though he did not know it, Bilbo (and Gandalf) had thought him the best hobbit in the Shire. He thought he had come to the end of his adventure, and a terrible end, but the thought hardened him.”

    The hobbits run around naked on Tom’s orders.

    The power in naming and the evil of namelessness.

    MAILBAG

    Laura Hollingsworth caught our attention on Not The Bee Social by making incredible LOTR artwork. Buy her stuff here.

    Fog On Barrow-Downs specific Comments/Questions

    General Mailbag


    “LOL, JK” and Prospects for Conservative Movies Feb 19, 2021

    Kyle and Ethan, from The Babylon Bee, are joined by Wes Halula, a writer and producer on Church People, to talk about the prospects of conservative and Christian films and also how the Babylon Bee gets away with spreading disinformation by putting “LOL, JK” at the end of every article according to Wikipedia editors. The guys also discuss the sad news of contemporary Christian music pioneer Carman and radio giant Rush Limbaugh passing away. There’s weird news, stuff that’s good, and glorious hate mail!

    Introduction

    Kyle, Ethan, and Wes talk about losing Carman and Rush this week.

    Stuff That’s Good

    Kyle likes Jon Foreman’s Departures.

    Ethan likes Wes’s movie Church People.

    Weird News

    California man's wallet lost in Antarctica returned after 53 years

    Rapper Len Martin Starts Gorilla Glue Challenge after thinking Tessica Brown’s story about being unable to get Gorilla Glue out of her hair was a hoax, Immediately gets red solo cup stuck to his face

    Mysterious Trail of Four-Toed Footprints Discovered Atop Frosty Car in England

    Musician Turns Late Uncle's Skeleton into Working Guitar

    Ted Cruz is rocking a mullet now

    It’s freezing cold in Texas, The Weather Channel tweeted on January 21 that February would be unseasonably WARM

    'I Was Gonna Be A Mashed Potato': Florida Boy Recounts Garbage Truck Horror

    Actor Sean Penn suggests the pope should "impeach" evangelical Christian leaders

    20-foot-2-inch bear made from roses breaks Guinness record

    The guys from the Babylon Bee talk about the conversations by people editing our Wikipedia page about whether what we do can be legally considered “satire” or how we get away with spreading harmful disinformation by writing “lol jk” at the end of all our stories.

    Topic of the Week

    What are the prospects for independent conservative media? Is there a shift? Can Hollywood lose its grip on entertainment?

    Hate Mail

    Denise is saddened to see us post mistruths and have a misleading agenda.

    Subscriber Portion

    Kyle, Ethan, and Wes react to Carman’s Satan Bite The Dust and Addicted To Jesus.

    Subscriber Update

    Mailbag

    Tim sends us an audio message from across the ocean wondering where Dave DeAndrea has been.

    Bonus Hate Mail

    Terry thinks we are backing AOC and her lies!

    Subscriber Headlines of the Week

    Wes answers The Ten Questions!


    Finding Purpose Without Wokeness: Spencer Klavan Interview Feb 16, 2021

    This is the Babylon Bee Interview Show.

    In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk to Spencer Klavan. They talk about the current woke culture, essence of talent, and living as a gay Christian. Spencer Klavan is an Associate Editor @ClaremontInst/@Theammind and Host @YngHereticsShow (http://YoungHeretics.com). Spencer received his Doctorate in Greek and Roman literature, eventually writing the book Music in Ancient Greece: Melody, Rhythm, and Life based on his research.

    Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

    To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans

    Topics Discussed

    Essence of Christmas movies

    Pandemic beards

    Spencer in the musical Grease

    Singing in choir

    Aristotle and free will

    10,000 hour rule

    Alignment towards a purpose

    Isiah calling out to the angels

    Taking Homer’s, The Odyssey out of schools

    Discovering Veggie Tales

    Young Heretics Podcast

    #DISRUPTTEXTS

    Hypocrisy towards the evil of history

    How to read an epic

    C.S. Lewis being the biggest 20th century intellectual

    The Abolition of Man

    Shadowboxing with Freud and psychoanalysis

    Same sex attraction

    Subscriber Portion

    Getting ripped with Spencer

    What is the gay agenda?

    Transgender issues

    Gay Christian controversy

    The Ten Questions


    The Bee Reads LOTR Episode 7:Tom Bombadil Is Awesome Feb 14, 2021

    Kyle and Dan, from The Babylon Bee, along with Jonathan Watson, from TheOneRing.Com where you can join a growing fellowship of Tolkien fans, get to one of their favorite chapters of The Lord of the Rings: In The House Of Tom Bombadil! Who the heck is this weird guy dancing and singing in the old forest? What did Tolkien say about who Tom is and what does he have to teach us? How is this detour in the old forest to Tom’s house essential to the story? Tom Bombadil is awesome and by the end of this episode, we think you’ll agree.

    Chapter 7 summary: The hobbits enter the house and seem to be enchanted by Goldberry. Frodo even bursts into song when he sees her. Frodo asks her who Tom Bombadil really is and she tells him that Tom is simply Tom: the master of wood, water and hill. He has no desire to own anything and he has no fear. Frodo asks Tom if he had heard their cry for help or if he had just happened to come by at the right time. Tom said that he had been expecting them. They eat and go to bed. The Hobbits all have nightmares, except Sam. Frodo dreams of man on a tower taken away by a large eagle and then black riders, Pippin is back in the willow tree, and Merry thinks he is about to be drowned.The next day it rains, so Tom begins to tell them stories. He tells them about the old forest and the trees like Old Man Willow. He warns them about the barrow downs and the spirits. The Hobbits lose track of time. Frodo once again tries to find out who Tom Bombadil is by asking him directly. Tom asks Frodo to show him the Ring. He is completely unconcerned about the ring or Sauron. He teaches them a rhyme to call him for help and tells them they must leave the next day.

    Topics Discussed

    Who the heck is Tom?

    "Tom was a paradoxical creature, one moment defeating ancient forces with hardly an effort, the next capering and singing nonsensical songs."

    "Eldest, that's what I am... Tom remembers the first raindrop and the first acorn... He knew the dark under the stars when it was fearless - before the Dark Lord came from Outside."

    “He is Master of wood, water, and hill.” But he doesn’t own it! “That would be a burden,” says Goldberry. He also “just is as you have seen him” and is “not afraid.”

    Tom always seems preoccupied about his own business and seems to forget the needs of his guests. ‘Tom, Tom! your guests are tired, and you had near forgotten!

    Who the heck is Goldberry? She is full of joy and laughter and is described as “enthroned.”

    The paradox of Bombadil in that he is good but is not concerned with the shadow vs the Hobbits "you cannnot shut the world out forever"

    Kyle’s tweet thread about his favorite passage in Lord of the Rings: (though he reserves his right to say that a lot over the course of this show)

    Dan thinks it is odd that Tom just happens to have a feast set, four mattresses, four pairs of hobbit slippers, vessels of cold and hot water just waiting for the hobbits in the guest room. Tom says he was waiting for them.

    “Farmer Maggot, whom he seemed to regard as a person of more importance than they had imagined. ‘There’s earth under his old feet, and clay on his fingers; wisdom in his bones, and both his eyes are open,’ said Tom. It was also clear that Tom had dealings with the Elves, and it seemed that in some fashion, news had reached him from Gildor concerning the flight of Frodo.”

    Our zeitgeist and its need for big, epic heroes, and its intolerance of quirkiness and things that are uncool.

    Whether the morning and evening of one day or of many days had passed Frodo could not tell. He did not feel either hungry or tired, only filled with wonder.

    ‘Who are you, Master?’ he asked. ‘Eh, what?’ said Tom sitting up, and his eyes glinting in the gloom. ‘Don’t you know my name yet? That’s the only answer. Tell me, who are you, alone, yourself and nameless? But you are young and I am old. Eldest, that’s what I am. Mark my words, my friends: Tom was here before the river and the trees; Tom remembers the first raindrop and the first acorn. He made paths before the Big People, and saw the little People arriving. He was here before the Kings and the graves and the Barrow-wights. When the Elves passed westward, Tom was here already, before the seas were bent. He knew the dark under the stars when it was fearless – before the Dark Lord came from Outside.’

    Tom holds up the superweapon of Sauron and laughs at it like it’s child’s play. And can even make it disappear??? Tom can see invisible Frodo?

    Some stuff from Silmarillion is mentioned like Valar and Maiar and hopefully the slides on the video help. Tom doesn’t fit any established category in Middle-Earth.

    Is Tom Bombadil right to be unconcerned with fighting evil?

    Subscriber Portion

    We “solve” who Tom really is (become a subscriber)Tolkien’s own words about Tom Bombadil

    Subscriber Questions, fan theories, and tattoo suggestions for Kyle

    The Hobbits’ dreams in the house of Tom Bombadil


    Valentine’s Day With The Queen Bees Feb 13, 2021

    The Queen Bees, Destiny, Jess, and Chandra, join their blockheaded husbands, Kyle, Ethan, and Dan, for a great Valentine’s Party on The Babylon Bee Podcast. They talk about their spouse’s annoying habits, tough guys from San Bernardino getting stabbed, and Kyle’s thing for feet. In the subscriber portion, they answer questions taken from subscribers and the ladies are subjected to the world-famous Ten Questions!

    Chandra is a different color than Dan

    The horrors of parenting

    Some of the scariest moments of having children

    Why a kid will need a rhino leash

    Relationship Questions

    Spouse’s Annoying Habits

    Cultivating desire or repulsion

    Kyle’s Thing For Feet

    Fighting is a good thing

    Don’t leave your meat trash in the sink

    Tough Guys From San Bernardino

    Patrick is single, ladies

    Subscriber-submitted questions

    Wives Answer The Ten Questions


    Christian Comic, Secret Conservative: Kerri Pomarolli Interview Feb 09, 2021

    This is the Babylon Bee Interview Show.

    In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk to Kerri Pomarolli, comedian, actress, author of 6 books, and “out-of-the-closet Christian in Hollywood.” Kerri has worked with Jay Leno on the Tonight Show, performing in numerous sketches. She has hosted the Gospel Music Awards and has a Dry Bar Comedy special coming up. Her book Confessions Of A Proverbs 32 Woman has been featured on The Babylon Bee. Topics include Mormon heaven, comedy in the Trump era, and keeping her ex-husband in her garage.

    Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

    To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans

    Topics Discussed

    Mormons and heaven

    Jim Bakker story

    Earthquake kits

    Asian babies

    Ancestry

    Being outside of the Liberal bubble

    Confessions about Proverbs 32

    Essential oils

    Married people

    Value of ex-husbands

    Homeschooling

    Healing through prayer

    Honor students

    Organizing moms on Facebook

    Being asked out by a 22 year old dentist

    80s entertainment

    Henry Winkler

    TikTok

    Parler

    Instagram

    Linkedin

    Cobra Kai

    Trump voting

    Mike Lindell having secret information

    Soap opera acting

    Working with Jay Leno

    Being openly conservative in Hollywood

    Having to say no to films

    Wikifeet

    Touring with your ex-husband

    Divorce

    Subscriber Portion

    Roaming the isles of Homegoods

    Steven Wright

    High energy Kyle

    Jonas Brothers

    Casting Crowns

    Amy Grant

    Meeting Kirk Cameron

    Dukes of Hazzard

    Kathy Lee Gifford

    Sean Astin

    Hosting red carpets

    Behind the scenes of The Tonight Show

    Jim Carrey

    Losing the edge in comedy

    Eminem

    Mormonism

    EHarmony

    Future of stand up comedy

    Censorship

    Subtle racism of entertainment

    Hallmark movies

    Smiling under a mask

    10 questions


    The Bee Reads LOTR Episode 6: A Conspiracy and an Old Forest Feb 06, 2021

    Kyle, Dan, and Jonathan Watson, of TheOneRing.Com, guide you to Crickhollow, where Samwise Gamgee’s conspiracy is unmasked, and then on to a spooky ancient forest that tries to kill the hobbits. Then, as Kyle puts it, a “cracked out hobo” comes to rescue them. It’s two chapters this week on The Babylon Bee Reads The Lord of the Rings!

    Chapter summaries: Frodo, Sam, Pippin, and Merry make it to the tucked away house in Crickhollow and also meet Fatty who with Merry has been getting the house ready. The three travellers all bathe together and sing (in separate tubs), eat food, and Frodo finds out that his friends have known all along about the conspiracy to get the ring out of the Shire. Their plan is to sneak out through a small gate in the hedge that separates Buckland from the Old Forest. We learn that the Forest is very much alive and at enmity with the “colonizers” of Buckland. The four hobbits going through the Old Forest quickly find the forest against them! Old Man Willow causes the hobbits to fall asleep, traps Merry and Pippin within its cracks, and almost drowns Frodo. A cracked out hobo in the woods comes to their rescue!

    Some questions or themes:

    The fellowship seems to be borne in Chapter 5. Merry and Pippin refuse to let Frodo rush off into danger without them coming too.

    The stouthearted loyalty of the hobbits in their friendship

    The Forest being alive and at enmity and able to react to the trespassers

    Intro to Tom Bombadil

    MAILBAG


    Using The Internet To Make a Christian Movie And Bears Like Techno Feb 05, 2021

    Kyle and Ethan from The Babylon Bee talk about bears crashing a techno jam, spinach is now sending e-mails, and how to generate a Christian movie using the internet. There’s weird news, stuff that’s good, and glorious hate mail.

    Introduction

    Welcome to the newly revamped Bee Weekly. But first, A clarification on Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez article.

    Subscriber Dare

    Weird News

    A mob of left-wing radicals armed with hatchets and knives took over a Washington hotel on Sunday -- wait, the corporate media didn't tell you??-in-wa-on-sunday-the-media-told-you-all-about-it-right

    Bear interrupts DJ’s online techno jam

    Hitler’s toilet seat is going up for auction

    This tech company returned to their office after lockdown to discover the building was now under the control of 20,000 bees!

    Elon Musk's Brain Company Hopes To Make a Cyborg Monkey Play 'Mind Pong'

    Texas accidentally issues Amber Alert for cursed doll Chucky

    Scientists Have Taught Spinach To Send Emails

    STUFF THAT’S GOOD

    Ethan has stuff that’s good: Inferno City Firehouse

    Topic of The Week

    Can the internet make a better Christian movie than what is already out there? We generated a Christian movie using the internet.

    Hate Mail

    Lynn says that The Babylon Bee is the laughing stock of all the Republicans in her great area.

    Subscriber Portion

    Can the internet make a better Christian romance film?

    Mailbag

    Rush liked our interview with James White and is praying for Ethan.

    Subscriber Headlines of the Week

    Got Any Cool Stories?


    Bear Attacks Destroyed This Libertarian Utopia | Matthew Hongoltz-Hetling Interview Feb 02, 2021

    This is the Babylon Bee Interview Show.

    In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk to Matthew Hongoltz-Hetling, author of A Libertarian Walks Into A Bear, a book about what happened when libertarians took over a small town in New Hampshire with the one goal of dismantling its government and then the bears arrived. Matthew is an award-winning author, longform writer and investigative international journalist based in New England and his work has been featured in the Associated Press and USA Today.

    Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

    To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans.

    Topics Discussed

    The small world of bear authors

    Axe Cop

    Libertarian Utopia

    Problems with Libertarian utopia

    Bears arrive

    Burying the lead

    People that would move to a Libertarian utopia

    The Libertarian pastor

    New England’s history with bears

    Bear vs llama

    Subscriber Portion

    History of utopia’s

    Fordlandia

    Epcot

    Matthew’s diverse and oddball career before journalism

    Small town journalism

    Ethan story

    Why we need small town journalism

    Vampires in New England

    10 questions

    11th question about reaching out to the other side


    The Bee Reads LOTR Episode 5: A Short Cut To Mushrooms Jan 30, 2021

    Frodo, Sam, and Pippin continue trekking through the Shire in this week’s The Babylon Bee Reads The Lord Of The Rings with Kyle and Dan joined by Jonathan Watson from The One Ring, an online fellowship as well as a place for cool Middle-Earth maps and articles. We discover Farmer Maggot, some black riders, and the shortcut to mushrooms.

    Note: We had to salvage the audio on this episode after running into several separate production issues, but the discussion is good and we hope you still enjoy it.

    Chapter summary: Frodo, Sam, and Pippin make for Bucklebury after spending the night at a wooden hall where they were hosted by the elves led by Gildor Inglorion. Frodo worries about taking his friends into danger or exile. Sam states his loyalty to Frodo no matter what. Frodo and Pippin banter. They decide to stay just off the road so they won’t be spotted on the road by Black Riders and cut straight across the country to Bucklebury Ferry bypassing Stock, crossing the Stock-brook and missing the Golden Perch’s fine beer. Sam spots a rider behind them at the top of the green bank from where they climbed down right when they start debating going back because of difficult terrain. They hear the Nazgul cries and cut across open ground until they come to more orderly lands and ultimately Farmer Maggot’s lands. Frodo is distressed because he was a mushroom thief and terrified of the farmer’s dogs. The farmer was just getting his dogs out due to a black rider being suspicious on his lands. He brings them in and feeds them and gives them good ale on tap and gets them to Bucklebury Ferry.

    The banter between Frodo and Pippin.

    Pippin didn’t want to leave Frodo any breakfast but Sam insisted.

    “I don’t want to answer a sting of questions while I am eating. I want to think!” “Good heavens! At Breakfast?”

    “Short cuts make long delays” “All right!” I will follow you into every bog and ditch! But it is hard! I had counted on passing the Golden Perch at Stock before sundown! The best beer in the Eastfarthing…” “That settles it!’ said Frodo. “Short cuts make delays, but inns make longer ones.”

    The stout loyalty of Sam

    ‘If you don’t come back, sir, then I shan’t, that’s certain,’ said Sam. ‘Don’t you leave him! they said to me. Leave him! I said. I never mean to. I am going with him, if he climbs to the Moon; and if any of those Black Riders try to stop him, they’ll have Sam Gamgee to reckon with, I said. They laughed.’ … way. I know we are going to take a very long road, into darkness; but I know I can’t turn back. It isn’t to see Elves now, nor dragons, nor mountains, that I want – I don’t rightly know what I want: but I have something to do before the end, and it lies ahead, not in the Shire. I must see it through, sir, if you understand me.’

    Special Elf Drink

    “When they came to make their meal, they found that the Elves had filled their bottles with a clear drink, pale golden in colour: it had the scent of a honey made of many flowers, and was wonderfully refreshing. Very soon they were laughing, and snapping their fingers at rain, and at Black Riders. The last few miles, they felt, would soon be behind them.”

    They start singing louder and louder and the evil and lonely sounding black riders begin to cry to one another. CREEPY

    Farmer Maggot

    A Black Rider had been asking the Farmer about Baggins right before they showed up. Gives advice to stay in Buckland, not get mixed up with those weird Hobbiton folk like Bilbo and says if the Black Rider comes back, he’ll deal with him! They get supper, ale, and a dark ride to the ferry and a basket of mushrooms.MAILBAG

    Lynn asks us to set aside our Jacksonian lenses.

    From David on expected and unexpected parties.

    From Sarah on finding rest for this crazy world in Tolkien.

    For Kyles fixation on Tolkien tattoos, a message from RDeis23.

    From Real Lawyer, Not Rules Lawyer on the cool-as-a-cucumber Gandalf.

    2hokies has an audiobook recommendation.


    Prophecies Fulfilled, GameStop Stonks, Impeaching A Former President | Babylon Bee Weekly Jan 29, 2021

    Kyle and Ethan from The Babylon Bee talk about Gavin Newsom lifting lockdowns, GameStop stonks, and the impeachment of a former president. They also throw down in an epic rap battle and tell you how you can have a zoo name a roach after your ex.

    Introduction

    Kyle and Ethan have a rap battle so you will throw money at them.

    Stuff That’s Good

    Kyle likes his trusty Leatherman Rebar.

    Ethan likes his new collection of G.K. Chesterton poems signed by the man himself.

    Weird News

    Zoo offers to name roaches, rats after patrons' ex-lovers

    GoPro camera recovered after six years underwater in Hawaii

    Skier chased by a bear at Romanian resort

    Inventor unveils airbag jeans to protect motorcyclists in crashes

    Oklahoma bill would establish a Bigfoot hunting season

    Toronto woman finds knife-wielding squirrel in the back yard

    Man catches 54 pieces of popcorn in his mouth in one minute

    Stories of the Week

    Story 1 'You Can Reopen Now!' Governor Newsom Shouts At Row Of Abandoned, Dilapidated Buildings

    Story 2 GameStop Announces That Due To Skyrocketing Stock, They Can Now Afford To Pay Up To 25 Cents For Your Used Games

    Story 3 Congress To Retroactively Impeach All Previous Republican Presidents

    Topic of the Week

    https://babylonbee.com/news/another-10-fulfilled-prophecies-from-the-babylon-bee

    Hate Mail

    Richard takes issue with us assuming the fate of the eternal soul of Jeffrey Epstein or making light of hell.

    Subscriber Portion

    Subscriber Update

    Mailbag

    A LOVE MAIL from Joseph R. and asking for advice on marriage & purity, and also to dispute Kyle and Dan’s ranking of LOTR films.

    Bonus Hate Mail

    Kwame thinks our AOC coverage is bad and we should feel bad.

    Subscriber Headlines of the Week

    Got Any Cool Stories?

    We get an unbelievable update about one of Calvins- you already know which one.


    Apologetics, Debating Atheists, and Church History | Dr. James White Interview Jan 26, 2021

    In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk to James White, best known for debating Atheists, Catholics, and Muslims. He is the host of The Dividing Line Webcast, and Director of Alpha and Omega Ministries. He is the author of more than twenty books and an accomplished debater on subjects ranging from the King James Only controversy, Roman Catholicism, Islam, Calvinism and Mormonism.

    Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

    To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans

    Topics Discussed

    Apologetics ministry

    Jeffery Durbin

    Keeping church open during Covid

    Abigail Shrier

    America is heading toward Leftism

    Muslim debates

    Preaching from Luther’s pulpit

    Learning from the past

    Islam belief systems

    Start of the King James only controversy

    Greatest gifts to young people before college

    Gale Riplringner cultism

    James’ White favorite Bible translation

    Sweater Vest Dialogues

    James White 2nd best selling book

    Grief after death

    Calvinism and the problem of Evil

    Defining Arminianism and Free Will

    Subscriber Portion

    Hanging out with Skillet

    Worse debate stories

    Atheists trying to own James White

    Disasters of debate

    Memes of James White

    Western culture doesn't understand debates

    Youtube debates

    G.K. Chesterton eternal destiny

    Roman Catholic question

    Beetle Dung hills

    Why most protestants would agree with Catholics

    10 questions

    Good fight story


    The Bee Reads LOTR Episode 4: Three’s Company Jan 23, 2021

    From the heart of the Shire, through the depths of Moria, to the ends of Middle-Earth, it’s The Babylon Bee Reads The Lord Of The Rings! In this episode of The Babylon Bee Reads, Kyle and Dan are joined by Jonathan Watson, creator alongside his two friends of TheOneRing.Com, which can also be followed on Facebook. Kyle, Dan, and Jon continue their fellowship in reading through The Fellowship of the Ring, this time in Chapter 3 Three’s Company, where three hobbits encounter black riders and elves in their very own Shire.

    Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

    To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans.

    The story so far: The Shadow of the past summary- Gandalf has told Frodo all about The Ring and that he is no longer safe in the Shire. Samwise is recruited to accompany Frodo.

    In this chapter:

    Frodo has to slip out of the Shire unnoticed so he hatches a plan of pretending to move to a new house in Crickhollow beyond/near Buckland where his Brandybuck side lives while the plan is really to make for Rivendell.

    Plans to leave on his 50th birthday

    Life lesson: “What is to be my quest? Bilbo went to find a treasure, there and back again; but I go to lose one, and not return, as far as I can see.’ ‘But you cannot see very far,’ said Gandalf.

    Something spooks Gandalf who leaves suddenly to try to get news/ he tells Frodo to not use the ring! He promises to be back in time for the birthday party and to set off with Frodo (this does not happen- dang wizards).

    Frodo’s wine is not included in the sale of Bag End to the dreaded S.-B.s. and does not offer her any tea when Lobelia comes with an inventory list.

    Frodo leaves for a leisurely night hike to set out with Sam and Pippin and hears unpleasant voice asking about him at the Gamgees. They get their packs and Sam says farewell to the beer barrel in the cellar.

    Sam’s character: ‘I am sure you have given me all the heaviest stuff,’ said Frodo. ‘I pity snails, and all that carry their homes on their backs.’ ‘I could take a lot more yet, sir. My packet is quite light,’ said Sam stoutly and untruthfully.

    They walk, encamp, banter, eat, walk, eat, walk on a southern side road running through hill country eastward when they hear hooves coming up behind them. Frodo wants them to hide and “curiosity or some other feeling was struggling with his desire to hide.” The rider seems to have an invisible nose and is using it to smell for someone. They begin traveling alongside the road a stone’s throw to avoid detection.

    They encounter a rider again and then run into the elves who take them to a wood hall. Gildor!

    The Black riders are scared of the elves.

    The hobbits see the distinction between the Black Riders and the Elves.

    What is the significance of the songs they sing in this chapter?

    Gildor offers protection for the hobbits and is impressed with Frodo, naming him “Elf Friend.” Gildor tells Frodo and the hobbits to carry on without Gandalf and to avoid the black riders.

    Gildor tells the hobbits that he’ll send word to any other allies about his journey, although Frodo will discover that the elves are increasingly leaving Middle Earth.

    The Babylon Bee Reads LOTR Inn & Pub

    MAILBO BAGGINS

    We receive powerful testimony the brings up question about what money is used in the Shire

    On Fairy Stories and Eucatastrophe.

    The Will of the Ring.


    Not My President And Skynet Can Do Whatever It Wants Jan 22, 2021

    In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk about the week’s biggest stories like Skynet being a private company so their Terminator robots can do whatever they want to you, Democratic states are suddenly following the science on lockdowns, and how the right is learning from the left’s past four years on how to cope when they feel like the president is not their president. There’s weird news, glorious hate mail, and Kyle can’t say the word “dang.”

    Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

    To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans.

    Introduction

    Kyle can’t say ‘dang.’

    Stuff That’s Good

    Kyle likes C.S. Lewis’ Abolition of Man

    Ethan likes Run, Hide, Fight from The Daily Wire Run Hide Fight Trailer

    Dallas Sonnier Interview with Ben Shapiro

    Weird News

    New wristband the 'Moodbeam' tells your boss if you are unhappy

    Joe Exotic had a limo parked outside his prison, along with hair, makeup, and wardrobe people on standby, in case Trump pardoned him which never happened.

    Link

    A California man was arrested Saturday and accused of hiding in a restricted area of Chicago's O'Hare International Airport for three months.

    Stefan Thomas, of San Francisco, says he has made peace with forgetting his Bitcoin password that would turn him into a multimillionaire.

    Thomas, who recently was featured in The New York Times, has about $220 million worth of Bitcoin locked away on a hard drive that will erase its data after 10 password attempts.

    A New Guinness World Record!

    Musician plays box drum for over 25 hours for new Guinness record

    Amazon removes ‘distasteful’ coronavirus masks from sale.

    Stories of the Week

    Story 1: ‘Skynet Is A Private Company, They Can Do What They Want,’ Says Man Getting Curb-Stomped By Terminator

    Summary: Local man Karl Langler argued that Skynet is a private company and can do what they want as a Terminator T-800 curb-stomped him and then vaporized him with a plasma rifle. “Listen, I hear people actually complaining that this is somehow a human rights violation. But only the government can violate your first amendment rights. Skynet is the creation of Cyberdyne systems and is a private company. They have the freedom to do whatever they want with their own platform.”

    Story 2: Democrat States Follow The Science By Doing What Florida Did Back In May

    Summary: Democrat-run states are now calling on the nation to follow the science by doing what Florida did back in May: don’t do lockdowns.

    Story 3: Republican Starting To Think Trump Might Not Pull Off A Last-Minute 4D Chess Move

    Summary: Local Republican man Edward Chasney admitted Wednesday that he’s starting to worry Trump might not actually pull off a last-minute 4D chess move to win the election.

    Topic of the Week: How to cope with life under a president you find hard to accept

    Put on a neon vest and shriek at the sky

    Accuse him of colluding with a foreign adversary with no evidence while sleeping with a Chinese spy

    Impeach him at least 3 times, even on the final week of his presidency - why not go for four

    Riot in every major city, set fires, and loot for weeks on end for like 6 months - but whatever you do DO NOT riot at the capitol

    Make every Late Night joke some variation of ‘your president bad’

    Have all comedians stop doing comedy and instead spend every waking minute tweeting at the president with some sort of expletive-laden Braveheart speech

    Immediately assume half the country is secretly Nazis

    When dining out, scream at all the other diners that we now live under a dictator between bites

    Take 12 months worth of hormonal birth control at once and scream into your camera

    Get a permanent face mask with stay 6 feet away printed on it

    Keep all of your friends and family that agree with you close enough to hear the echo in the room

    Make sure to do a deep dive into every actor and musician’s Twitter history to make sure they align perfectly with your views. If not, cancel them.

    Don’t forget to embrace diversity as long as everyone still sees things exactly as you do

    Keep the news on 24 hours a day and never leave the house. Always be on Twitter and your phone. Make sure you know everything the president is doing at all times.

    Weep uncontrollably until 2024

    Hate Mail

    Judith seems to think we are racist and don’t understand the Calvinism/Arminianism debate, and doesn’t appreciate the Biden color chart for covid relief calculations.

    Subscriber Portion

    Behind the Scenes Update

    Bonus Hate Mail

    Updates to the podcast

    Headline Forum Highlights

    Got any cool stories


    Dustin Nickerson Interview: Former Youth Pastor/Current Stand Up Comic Jan 19, 2021

    This is the Babylon Bee Interview Show.

    In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk to comedian Dustin Nickerson who hails from Seattle, but suffers in Southern California. Dustin was married at 19 and 15 years later has 3 kids, so he has plenty of insight on parenting, marriage, and being generally annoyed by people. Dustin has a new special on Amazon called OVERWHELMED. Topics covered are Dustin’s start in stand up, new lockdowns, and working as a youth pastor.

    Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

    To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans

    Topic Discussed

    Starting a stand up comedy career

    Favorite Bee article

    Political comedy

    Ethan’s connection to Dustin

    Living in Seattle

    Chaz

    Moving to San Diego

    2nd round of lockdowns

    Secrets of a happy marriage

    Coos Bay

    Working as a youth pastor

    Comedy for Christian crowds

    Bad stand up gigs

    Laughing at both sides of politics

    Golfing with Larry the Cable Guy

    Subscriber Portion

    Keurig of furniture

    Roast of the subscriber lounge

    Bad segways

    College gigs

    Facebook trolling

    Comedy on the internet

    Mark Driscoll

    Being too insignificant to get fired

    Disdain for celebrity Pastors

    Appreciation of stand-up

    Brad Garrett stories

    10 questions

    Alter Call


    The Bee Reads LOTR Episode 3: The One Ring And The Shadow Jan 16, 2021

    From the heart of the Shire, through the depths of Moria, to the ends of Middle-Earth, it’s The Babylon Bee Reads The Lord Of The Rings! In this episode of The Babylon Bee Reads, Kyle and Dan are joined by Jonathan Watson, creator alongside his two friends of TheOneRing.Com, which can also be followed on Facebook. Kyle, Dan, and Jon are on a quest to joyfully dig through Chapter 2, The Shadow Of The Past, which gives us plenty of exposition about the one ring, the stirring forces of evil in Middle-Earth and explains why Frodo is no longer safe in the Shire.

    Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

    To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans.

    Chapter 2 - The Shadow of the Past

    Frodo is an oddity like Bilbo was and becomes restless.

    He continues celebrating Bilbo’s birthday and shows signs of ‘good preservation’ even as he approaches age 50 the same age when Bilbo left on his journey.

    Tolkien is telling history before it happens (the developing of his myth like Mad Baggins)

    We hear about his close friends... Fredegar Bolder and Folco Boffin are mentioned but Merry and Pippin are closest and are anxious about him as Frodo takes to taking long walks farther away from home in the hills under the stars and becoming obsessed with maps and dreaming of mountains he has never seen before. “The old paths seemed too well-trodden”

    Frodo is seeing the elves going west as they leave M-E for good. And dwarves are coming west to the Blue Mountains. They provide a lot of news from outside the Shire...

    Ominous tidings.

    “They were troubled, and some spoke in whispers of the Enemy and of the Land of Mordor.” the evil power in Mirkwood had been driven out by the White Council only to reappear in greater strength in the old strongholds of Mordor. The Dark Tower had been rebuilt, it was said. From there the power was spreading far and wide, and away far east and south there were wars and growing fear. Orcs were multiplying again in the mountains. Trolls were abroad, no longer dull-witted, but cunning and armed with dreadful weapons. And there were murmured hints of creatures more terrible than all these, but they had no name.”

    Gandalf hasn’t been seen for 9 years, after a time of coming and going and being concerned about Frodo’s health (what does he suspect?), and just as well since the people of the Shire suspect he had something to do with Bilbo going mad and disappearing

    "'I wish it need not have happened in my time,' said Frodo.

    'So do I,' said Gandalf, 'and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.'"

    The discussion of the fall and corruption of Smeagol and a discussion on the pity of Bilbo.

    The depiction of Sméagol not being wholly ruined.

    A discussion of fate in The Lord of the Rings: Bilbo was meant to find the ring and Frodo was meant to have it. Wills of secondary agents.Deserves it! I daresay he does. Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement. For even the very wise cannot see all ends. I have not much hope that Gollum can be cured before he dies, but there is a chance of it. And he is bound up with the fate of the Ring. My heart tells me that he has some part to play yet, for good or ill, before the end; and when that comes, the pity of Bilbo may rule the fate of many – yours not least.

    We get introduced to Samwise Gamgee w/ the convo at The Green Dragon at Bywater!! (He believes in “fairies” or at least dragons and ents)

    Has a love for elves and has a childlike wonder about the world nurtured by Bilbo’s stories.

    “I dare say there’s more truth in some of them than you reckon.”

    G.K. Chesterton wrote about the importance of fairytales as did Lewis and Tolkien… “Fairytales do not tell children that dragons exist. Children already know that dragons exist. Fairytales tell children that dragons can be killed.”

    Frodo seems to have some trust issues with Gandalf.

    You say the ring is dangerous, far more dangerous than I guess.

    It would overcome anyone of mortal race. The ring would possess the possessor

    ‘A mortal, Frodo, who keeps one of the Great Rings, does not die, but he does not grow or obtain more life, he merely continues, until at last every minute is a weariness. And if he often uses the Ring to make himself invisible, he fades: he becomes in the end invisible permanently, walks in the twilight under the eye of the Dark Power that rules the Rings. Yes, sooner or later – later, if he is strong or well-meaning to begin with, but neither strength nor good purpose will last – sooner or later the Dark Power will devour him.’

    The ring can also shrink or expand at will to slip of a finger if it wanted.

    Gandalf began to think something odd about it right when Bilbo found it and lied about winning the ring from Gollum. He talks about Saruman and whether Bible will be harmed. He voluntarily gave up the ring!

    Among the Wise I am the only one that goes in for hobbit-lore: an obscure branch of knowledge, but full of surprises. Soft as butter they can be, and yet sometimes as tough as old tree roots.

    Greatness vs Morality

    Subscriber Portion

    Mail-bo Baggins!

    Jonathan’s take on the Movie adaptations

    Movie Differences


    Pro-Trump Manatees, Arminian Riots, and Big Tech Censorship Jan 15, 2021

    This is the Babylon Bee Weekly News Podcast for the week of 1/15/2021.

    In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk about the week’s biggest stories like how Arminians are storming the gates of Heaven to protest election, wild manatees are suddenly coming out in a strong show of support for Donald Trump, and censorship is hitting anyone to the right of Stalin thanks to “Big T.” Kyle’s favorite bird to pronounce eats an alligator, samosas fly into space, and the squirrels are up to something! It’s another The Babylon Bee news show!

    Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

    To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans

    Introduction

    Kyle celebrates his birthday with the California Highway Patrol.

    Stuff That’s Good

    Kyle likes Pete Vik’s Hope and Light & Darkness.

    Ethan likes Gran Torino… again. And The Outlaw Josey Wales. Okay, Clint Eastwood stuff n general.

    Weird News

    Game warden uses marksmanship to rescue deer with locked antlers

    Fulfilled prophecy? Mysterious NYC squirrel attacks rise in Queens neighborhood: Report

    Website seeks 'professional binge watcher' to watch Netflix, eat pizza

    Samosa sent to 'space' by British eatery crash-lands in France

    Scientists Report First Instances of Dwarf Giraffes

    Florida manatee has 'TRUMP' etched into its side; officials seek information

    Florida bird caught on video swallowing whole alligator

    Kyle gets three Guinness World Records since it is his birthday!

    Man chops through apples while juggling knives for Guinness record

    Siblings Set World Record for the Highest Combined Age, 1042 Years

    Athlete does 64 hand-release pushups in one minute for new record

    Stories of the Week

    Story 1 Arminians Storm God's Throne Room To Protest Election

    Summary:A gang of rogue Arminians has broken into God's throne room in order to protest the doctrine of election, sources confirmed Thursday. Hordes of the anti-Calvinist protesters stormed the gates of heaven before angels were forced to fall back and barricade the throne room.

    "Down with the predestined, sovereign election of God!" cried one man from Florida as he burst into the throne room wearing a buffalo hat. "This whole thing is rigged! Divine interference!"

    Arminians were seen scaling the walls of heaven. One managed to hang a "Who is able to resist His will?" banner on the gates of the place, while others busted in and started roaming the streets of gold looking for the Lord's throne room. A few made it in but were instantly killed by being in the presence of the Almighty God, sparking further protests.

    There was very little looting, though a few Chick-fil-A sandwiches were taken.

    At publishing time, Arminians had suggested the protesters were actually Calvinists disguised as Arminians to make them look bad. Calvinists say there is no proof of this as most of the protesters had neither beards nor smug looks on their faces.

    The Real Story: Oh wait, the capitol building got stormed too? The capitol building was stormed, presumably by pro-Trump fanatics who think the 2020 election was rigged.

    -A man in a buffalo hat was there and another man walked off with a podium. One man ransacked Nancy Pelosi’s office.

    -Also, in related news, The Babylon Bee slack channel simply titled #Theology because #ArguingAboutCalvinism was too long, has kicked off with many fiery screeds about free will, election, predestination, and the love of God.

    -Imagine if Trump had won, none of this would have happened. this is Antifa at the capitol:

    -Antifa leader “Brothers, fret we may, but a fair election has ended and we must accept the results, though they were not in our favor. Lay down your bricks. Remove the vodka soaked rags from your molotov cocktails and drink with me as we accept these results like men. We shall leave the Capitol unmolested, we will don no buffalo garments, for we are not like those savages. Yes, we have a line we will not cross, and this is it.” Then they sing an ancient Antifa war song about honor, tragedy, and losing with dignity..

    Sad part of the story, in addition to the erosion of our norms and culture, was that a woman Ashli Babbitt was shot dead by the police, several other rioters died from medical emergencies, and a capitol police officer, Brian Sicknick, was killed in the riot at the Capitol.

    See also: Our NEW animation about Who Was Really Behind The Attack On The Capitol

    Story 2 After Being Kicked Off Social Media, Trump Forced To Go Door To Door And Shout 'RIGGED ELECTION!'

    Summary: After being permanently banned from social media, President Trump has been forced to knock on doors across the country, one door at a time. If anyone opens the door, he will shout one of his classic lines such as "RIGGED ELECTION!" or "Hillary is a loser! SAD!" at them before moving on to the next house.

    Real Story: Big Tech is going nuts on the censorship front.Donald Trump got suspended from Twitter and Facebook for “inciting a riot”

    Twitter’s statement said, “After close review of recent Tweets from the @realDonaldTrump account and the context around them — specifically how they are being received and interpreted on and off Twitter — we have permanently suspended the account due to the risk of further incitement of violence.”

    Amazon, Apple, and Google got Parler got taken down.

    Ron Paul has been blocked from Facebook.

    Conservatives, libertarians and otherwise non-woke people seem to be shedding followers on Twitter and also 70,000 Q accounts are being booted en masse.

    Conservatives have been quick to point out the double standards and hypocrisy of social media companies letting leftist incitements to violence stay and slamming the hammer down on conservatives.

    Revealing CNN article: Defiant Trump denounces violence but takes no responsibility for inciting deadly riot

    Twitter blog about Trump tweets

    Story 3 Biden Unveils Skin Color Chart To Determine Who Gets Federal Aid

    Summary: President-elect Joe Biden gave a press briefing from the basement of his Wilmington mansion announcing that his incoming administration will be utilizing an innovative skin color chart to determine who is the priority in receiving their share of the $900 billion federal coronavirus aid package recently passed by Congress.

    “Our priority will be black, Latino, Asian, and Native American-owned small businesses, women-owned businesses (real quote),” Biden informed the nation. “We are sending out a new color chart to all agencies involved to make sure there is no malarkey…”

    Experts praised the administration’s new color chart as being very unambiguous, black-and-white even, on who the government was going to help and not help.

    Real Story: From Joe Biden’s website “To address the racial wealth gap, the opportunity gap, and the jobs gap for Black and Brown people, Biden will launch a historic effort to empower small business creation and expansion in economically disadvantaged areas – and particularly for Black-, Latino-, AAPI-, and Native American-owned businesses.”

    Joe Biden Website

    Washington Post Article On Joe Biden Small Business Plan

    Joe Biden’s reported nominee for head of DOJ, Kristen Clarke said back in her Harvard days, “Melanin endows Blacks with greater mental, physical and spiritual abilities — something which cannot be measured based on Eurocentric standards.”

    Topic of the Week:

    Big Tech Censorship, what is the role of social media?

    -Libertarian private property trumps all so a private company can just do what it wants?

    -Federal Section 230 protections protect social media companies as being considered platforms instead of publishers- is that cool?

    -Jack was gloating about Parler being taken down.

    -Are we heading to a place where conservatives have to make their own phones, own networks, own web providers, own banks?

    They made their own, Parler, and it got taken down by Amazon, Google, and Apple.

    GoDaddy took away the domain registration for a gun forum AR-15.com

    Big megacorporations like AMEX, AMAZON, Marriot, Commerce Bank, Dow, Hallmark, Blue Cross, Charles Shwab, their PACs are cutting off donations to 147 Republicans who supported efforts against certifying the election results.

    At least three banks are cutting off ties from Trump. (Signature, Deutsche, and Profession banks)

    What are the implications for The Babylon Bee? What threats do we have and why do we need subscribers to support us.

    The hypocrisy of Big Tech of what they allow to remain up.

    Hate Mail

    Will says we are making Christianity look bad again.

    Subscriber Portion

    Behind the Scenes Update

    When this comes out Kyle will be at Winter Bee Con in Michigan.

    Mailbag

    Jackson Baker sent us a video about how the proposal went and answers some of Ethan’s questions like if Kelsey got bored reading the list of tips from the Bee.

    Bonus Hate Mail

    Doug incites violence we think and maybe thinks we created social media?

    Headline Forums

    Got Any Cool Stories?

    Story Time With Ethan Nicolle

    Email us your cool stories!


    Abigail Shrier Interview: The Truth Behind Trans Children Jan 12, 2021

    This is the Babylon Bee Interview Show.

    In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk to Abigail Shrier, a writer for the Wall Street Journal, The Federalist and author of new book Irreversible Damage. In the book she explores the “transgender craze,” where in the last few years, there has been an explosion in people identifying as transgender -- especially among biological females now identifying as male. The book was recently banned from Target -- though later reinstated -- after one transgender individual complained on Twitter. Topics include the Transgenderism craze, big tech, and making women a victim class.

    Buy her book here: Irreversible Damage: The Transgender Craze Seducing Our Daughters

    Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

    To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans.

    Topics Discussed

    Transgenderism craze in society

    How Abigail became involved in the debate

    Effects of testosterone on women

    Social media and Transgender influencers

    Using Google to solve everything

    Helicopter parenting

    Why social media is poison

    Embracing ideology instead of religion

    Gender clinics

    What you can get without a parent’s consent in most states

    How they are able to teach gender in school without parent’s knowledge

    Secret identities at school

    Teen hysteria

    What is the science behind transgenderism?

    Doctor’s roles

    De-transitioning

    Big tech

    The best thing a dad can do for his daughter

    Pride parade in schools

    Subscriber Portion

    Why this shouldn’t be a political issue

    Postmodernism, post-truth

    Making women a victim class

    LGBTQ infighting

    Public lies

    Biological differences

    Feminism

    Abigail’s book removal from Target

    Silence from reviewers

    In defense of boyhood and girlhood.


    The Bee Reads LOTR Episode 2: A Birthday In The Shire Jan 09, 2021

    From the heart of the Shire, through the depths of Moria, to the ends of Middle-Earth, it’s The Babylon Bee Reads The Lord Of The Rings! In this episode of The Babylon Bee Reads, Kyle and Dan dive into the book, beginning as most books do, in Chapter 1, with A Long Expected Party. There’s a birthday party of special magnificence, a place worth fighting for, and a wizard puttering down the road with fireworks. There’s something very wrong in Hobbiton though.

    Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

    To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans.

    We answer your comments and questions in the subscriber portion.

    Episode 2: A Long-Expected Party

    Opening line: When Mr. Bilbo Baggins of Bag End announced that he would shortly be celebrating his eleventy-first birthday with a party of special magnificence, there was much talk and excitement in Hobbiton.

    The subtle magic of Middle-Earth: Bilbo is 111 years old. Frodo/Bilbo having same birthday. Theme of fate introduced.

    The depiction of the Shire -- a foil for the rest of the adventure’s rising danger.

    The Shire gives us a place worth fighting for.

    Gandalf arrives -- we have an instigating event, a catalyst. (Kyle’s G rune tattoo mentioned). Fireworks! Such simple pleasures.

    Foreshadowing of ill effects of Bilbo’s ring and treasure -- and Bilbo’s planned trick.

    This chapter never managed to hook my older boys, but I wonder if I tried again at their ages -- 12 and 10 -- they would become interested. It’s a good hook. I suppose it helps if you’ve read The Hobbit. This may be the quintessential example of something where the previous book helps but is still absolutely unnecessary to read to understand.

    The foreboding ending is perfect: “Frodo saw him to the door. He gave a final wave of his hand, and walked off at a surprising pace; but Frodo thought the old wizard looked unusually bent, almost as if he was carrying a great weight. The evening was closing in, and his cloaked figure quickly vanished into the twilight. Frodo did not see him again for a long time.”


    Amen, Awomen, And A New Year For Bee Prophecies Jan 08, 2021

    This is the Babylon Bee Weekly News Podcast for the week of 1/8/2021.

    In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk about the week’s biggest stories like Biden’s new mask womandate, totally healthy dead Cosmopolitan cover girls, and The Babylon Bee’s new 100% effective marriage proposal service. The always prophetic Bee writers have made predictions for 2021, there’s weird news, and ever-glorious hate mail.

    Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

    To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans

    Stuff That’s Good

    Kyle likes coffee. He ranks his methods of coffee prep.

    Ethan likes BroForce.

    Weird News

    German pilot makes point with syringe in the sky

    Kentucky man goes viral for clearing snowy driveway with flamethrower

    UPDATE ON JETPACK MAN: Los Angeles pilot finally captures elusive 'jetpack man' on video

    Escaped hamster braves freezing temperatures to get to candy store

    Bodybuilder may spend holidays alone after sex-doll wife is ‘broken’

    Police respond to chickens 'wreaking havoc' at New Jersey McDonald's

    UAE chefs bake world's longest line of pies for Guinness record

    Story 1: 10 Tips for Proposing to Your Girlfriend: A Love Story!

    Summary: Spring is almost here. We think. We’re not really sure since we’ve all been locked inside our homes since last spring. Anyway, now is the time when Ring Before Spring takes over all the Bible colleges and young men start proposing left and right. Some of our readers might be wondering: how should I propose to my girlfriend? We asked love experts like Gary Chapman, our youth pastor, and Joshua Harris, and compiled these ten tips for proposing to your woman.

    Real Story: Top ten list in the link. The main thing was to keep number 9 and 10 in there for Jackson Baker to propose to his girlfriend, Kelsey. One of the pictures he sent is below:

    Story 2: Biden Promises Nationwide Mask Mandate And Womandate

    Summary: In light of recent events, Biden has updated his COVID plan to include not just a mask mandate, but a mask womandate as well. In a prepared statement given to his nurse and posted on Twitter, the completely legitimate and unquestioned president-elect apologized for the sexist language in his plan.

    Real story: Hilarity ensued when House Democrats opened up the 117th session of congress with an opening prayer from Rep. Emanuel Cleaver, D-Missouri, minister at the St. James United Methodist Church, a prayer made in the name of “the monotheistic god, Brahma, and god known by many names by many different faiths,” which ended with AMEN and A-WOMAN.

    Amen is not gendered. It is from Hebrew and means It means “it is so” or “so it be.” Amen is derived from the Hebrew āmēn, which means “certainty,” “truth,” and “verily.”

    Other ways on which Rep. Cleaver has updated his speech.

    Story 3: 'This Is Healthy': Cosmopolitan Features First-Ever Dead Cover Girls

    Summary: Yass, slay, queens -- dead queens, that is! Cosmopolitan Magazine is promoting body positivity with the first-ever series of corpse cover models.

    The issues feature interviews with and profiles on a dozen dead girls who show how they too can be healthy despite being completely dead.

    Real story: Cosmopolitan Magazine is featuring on its cover very overweight women as the picture of health with the main story being ‘11 women on why wellness doesn’t have to be one-size-fits-all.”

    Topic of the Week: The Babylon Bee’s 2021 Prophecies!

    Hate Mail

    Bryan says we’ve become too political.

    Subscriber Portion

    Mailbag from Drew that puts Ethan right to sleep

    Bonus Hate Mail

    Cool Story From Becky

    Headline Forum


    Andrew Heaton Interview: Will Be Your Amish Ambassador Jan 05, 2021

    This is the Babylon Bee Interview Show.

    In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk to comedian, author, and political satirist Andrew Heaton. Andrew has performed stand up comedy all over the world and hosts two podcasts, one of them featuring Kyle and Ethan. Andrew’s two podcasts are titled The Political Orphanage and Alienating the Audience. Kyle and Ethan dive into Andrew’s strange Oklahoma upbringing that deals with a Prison rodeo, eating a rattlesnake heart, and having unknown ties to a family cave. While on his journey out of Oklahoma, Andrew worked for a time at congress and tells Kyle and Ethan about how that experience helped shape him to become politically homeless.

    Andrew is @MightyHeaton on all social media.

    Political Orphanage Podcast

    Alienating The Audience

    Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

    To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans

    Topics Discussed

    Trouble with sleep

    Political labels and comedy

    Oklahoma prison rodeo

    Rattlesnake derby

    Eating rattlesnake hearts

    Exploring Caves in Oklahoma

    Weiner Dog racing

    Dinner with an Amish community

    Viking Runestones

    Working for Congress

    Beer pong with a Congressman

    Alienating the Audience

    Economics of Dune

    Current Political Art is going to age badly

    How British politics do it right

    Owning a distillery in Scotland

    Getting a van stuck in a bog in Scotland

    Subscriber Portion

    Italian Fire

    Cigar smoking

    Living in a variety of places

    Quarantine in a camper

    Legalizing drugs

    Underground libertarian drug den

    Meeting Vermin Supreme

    Yelling at politicians

    European Californians

    GK Chesterton quote

    History Improv

    10 Questions

    Phil Robertson

    Stephen Colbert

    Bombing as a comedian


    The Babylon Bee New Year's Special 2021 Dec 31, 2020

    This is the Babylon Bee New Year's Special 2021.

    In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan do a rundown on 2020’s biggest and best Babylon Bee stories that gave the world fake news they could trust. They talk about all the big changes at The Babylon Bee and give a behind-the-scenes look into the creative process behind the top ten Bee articles of the year. Even though the year was a crazy one, Kyle and Ethan want to end 2020 with a little Chestertonian awe, wonder, and gratitude.

    Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

    To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans

    The Babylon Bee 2020 In Retrospect

    This year, The Babylon Bee:

    Got a real studio

    Launched video podcasts

    Launched animation

    Grew tremendously in # of subscribers

    We shifted to full-time coronavirus jokes for a while

    First annual BeeCon

    Got attacked by Facebook, banned by Twitter

    Hired more people (it was basically just me and Ethan a year ago)

    Trump shared our article, thinking it was real?

    New York Times profile

    Interviewed some really big names!

    Published The Sacred Texts Of The Babylon Bee, Volume 1!

    Top 10 Bee Articles of the year

    10 - Inspiring: Celebrities Spell Out 'We're All In This Together' With Their Yachts

    9 - Trump Announces He Has Hidden 5 Golden Tickets Among Stimulus Checks

    8 - Biden: 'I Am The Only Candidate Who Can Beat Ronald Reagan'

    7 - FBI Hires Top-Rated Italian Bodyguard Hiluigi Clintonelli To Protect Ghislaine Maxwell

    6 - Walmart Now Requires All Shoppers To Wear Pants

    5 - NBA Players Wear Special Lace Collars To Honor Ruth Bader Ginsburg

    4 - Biden Campaign Says He Is So Close To A VP Pick He Can Smell Her

    3 - Bernie Tests Negative For President

    2 - Cracker Jack Changes Name To More Politically Correct Caucasian Jack

    1 - Biden Cuts Hole In Mask So He Can Still Sniff People's Hair

    One last “G.K. Chesterton!” for 2020.

    Subscriber Portion: Bonus Top Articles #11-15

    15 - Miracle: Coronavirus Passes Over Houses With Chick-Fil-A Sauce Smeared On Door Posts

    14 - With Statues Gone, Pigeons Forced To Poop On Rioters

    13 - In Bold Anti-Trump Statement, Pelosi Rips Up Bible

    12 - Podiums At Next Debate To Be Equipped With Life Alert Buttons

    11 - Democrats Warn That American People May Tamper With Next Election


    The Bee Reads LOTR Episode 1: Concerning Allegory and Hobbits Dec 30, 2020

    From the heart of the Shire, through the depths of Moria, to the ends of Middle-Earth, it’s The Babylon Bee Reads The Lord Of The Rings! In this episode of The Babylon Bee Reads, Kyle and Dan tell some of their personal stories relating to Tolkien’s writings and discuss Tolkien’s Foreword in which he aggressively denies that The Lord Of The Rings is an allegory. Subscribers also get to hear their discussion of the Prologue concerning hobbits, the Shire, and pipeweed.

    Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

    To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans.

    We answer your comments and questions in the subscriber portion. Leave your letters at podcast@babylonbee.com.

    Foreword

    Our personal stories with Lord of the Rings

    Themes we’ve gotten out of the books in the past

    How fleeting evil is. History is cyclical, but the faithful need not worry. (Tom Bombadil) (“There was light and high beauty for ever beyond its reach”)

    Small people doing ordinary deeds can change the world - Diana Glyer

    Good vs. evil, obviously. But more specifically, the asymmetric war of good and evil. Good is eternal. Evil is fleeting. Evil is just twisted good. They are not on equal footing.

    Tolkien’s almost overly defensive foreword -- extreme insistence that it’s not an allegory

    Says if it were an allegory for WW2, the Free Peoples would have used the Ring.

    Prologue

    Setting the stage: Middle-Earth as myth and an alternate history of earth

    Hobbits are seemingly unimportant, yet they change the world

    Maps!


    The Babylon Bee Christmas Special 2020 Dec 24, 2020

    In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan celebrate Christmas at The Babylon Bee Studio with returning guests Kira Davis, Kellen Erskine, and Greg Koukl. They debate what qualifies as a Christmas movie, wonder how great it would be to have a VeggieTales/Hallmark Movie Universe crossover, and try to rank International Ninja Day and Taylor Swift’s birthday among other venerated December holidays. Merry Christmas!

    Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

    To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans.

    Kellen has a podcast about books: The Book Pile

    Kira Davis has a podcast about her opinions and also another podcast about Hallmark Christmas movies: Just Listen To Yourself and A Very Merry Podcast

    Greg Koukl can be heard at Stand To Reason including #STRAsks.

    Topics Discussed

    New studio

    TikTok

    Coffee cup drinking style

    Short attention spans

    Red Pen Logic series

    Seeker friendly churches

    Bowling

    Parody in today’s world

    Karaoke at old folks home

    Brave Ollie Possum

    Veggie tales

    Problem with slogans

    Hallmark Christmas movie

    What makes a Christmas movie?

    Tragedy of Kevin McCalister

    Scrooged

    Goonies

    Seeing movies as an adult

    Star Wars

    Ranking Christmas holidays

    Kwanzaa

    Dewey Decimal system day

    International Ninja day

    Celebrating Santa

    The Book Pile podcast

    Just Listen To Yourself Podcast

    A Very Merry Podcast

    Stand to Reason Podcast

    Subscriber Portion

    Christmas for Latter Day Saints

    Defending the virgin birth

    Faith above reason

    The Red Sea

    Best and worst Christmas gifts

    Conservative news outlets

    Trump’s news network

    The War on Christmas

    The Nativity movie

    It’s a Wonderful Life

    Ugly Christmas sweaters


    The Justin Dyer Interview: Narnian Natural Law Dec 22, 2020

    This is the Babylon Bee Interview Show.

    In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk to professor of political science Justin Dyer, author of C. S. Lewis on Politics and the Natural Law and director of the Kinder Institute on Constitutional Democracy. Topics range from C.S. Lewis’ view on natural law, being a classical liberal, and how C.S. Lewis wanted all kids off his lawn.

    Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

    To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans

    Topics Discussed

    • How Dyer became interested in CS Lewis
    • Would CS Lewis vote for Trump
    • How Lewis pulls theology, philosophy, and politics all into his writing
    • What is natural law?
    • C.S. Lewis influences
    • C.S. Lewis being a classical liberal
    • Social Dilemma
    • Abolition of man and the modern times
    • Left and right attacking natural law in Lewis’ time
    • C.S. Lewis would be a libretraian
    • Lewis wanted to be treated like a dinosaur
    • Abolition of man waterfall
    • C.S. Lewis criticism of english language textbooks
    • Objective standards to beauty and art
    • Oxytocin for humor

    Subscriber portion

    • Lewis answering every letter written to him
    • Lewis hated his modern technology
    • Lewis didn’t like change
    • Lewis wouldn’t be a fan of twitter
    • CS Lewis and Sexuality
    • Cs Lewis view on marriage made Tolkien uncomfortable
    • How one writer believes Lewis is going to Hell
    • Lewis’ view of tradition
    • 10 Questions
    • Great embarrassing story

    The Chesterton Prophecies And The Eccentric Elon Musk News Show 12.18.2020 Dec 18, 2020

    This is the Babylon Bee Weekly News Podcast for the week of 12/18/2020.

    In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk about the week’s biggest stories like Elon Musk noticing our fine journalism, Dr. Jill Biden expertly saving a life with just a podium and a microphone, Disney announcing 7,562 new Star Wars shows. They also discuss how prolific and prophetic G.K. Chesterton was writing over a century ago. There’s stuff that’s good, weird news, glorious hate mail, and unintentional rambunctious reindeer.

    Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

    To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans

    Introduction

    Kyle is getting old and the guys discuss whether walking on one’s back is a remedy. On the plus side, Kyle read all of Abigail Shrier’s book Irreversible Damage. Kyle and Ethan remember Ebaumsworld and Newgrounds and how his Mission To The Moon music video is getting some attention recently.

    Stuff That’s Good

    Kyle likes the board game Sonar.

    Ethan likes Scythian album Roots and Stones.

    Weird News

    Porch pirate steals bait box filled with cat poop

    Precious painting lost at German airport found at dumpster

    Woman receives birthday card mailed by her late mother in 2015

    Man buys 160 tickets for one lottery drawing, wins 160 times

    Marvel's Star-Lord is apparently now a polyamorous bisexual

    Google sends 7-year-old warning that his parents are monitoring his account and WAY too many people are okay with that.

    Genius! These codebreakers just cracked the Zodiac Killer's infamous 340 cipher, 51 YEARS after it was first published.

    Teacher assistant mortified after missing rude detail on Christmas cardigan

    Sentence spelled out by balloons breaks Guinness record

    Stories of the Week

    Story 1 - Man Chokes In Restaurant, Dr. Jill Biden Springs Into Action To Deliver Educational Lecture Summary: As Dr. Jill Biden and her husband went out to eat over the weekend, a man began choking on his Denver omelet. But lucky for him, Dr. Jill Biden was there, and she is a doctor.

    "We need a doctor here!" cried a waiter. "Is there a doctor in the house?"Dr. Jill Biden sprang into action. "I'm a doctor!" she said, rushing over. "I'm going to need a podium and a microphone, stat!" After a busboy hurried over with the life-saving tools she would need, Dr. Jill Biden thanked him and then began delivering a speech on meeting students' needs at the community college level.

    An op-ed in the Wall Street Journal by Joseph Epstein sparked a debate over calling Jill Biden a “doctor” since she is not a medical doctor but has a doctorate in education.

    "Madame First Lady — Mrs. Biden — Jill — kiddo," the piece begins. "Any chance you might drop the 'Dr.' before your name? 'Dr. Jill Biden' sounds and feels fraudulent, not to say a touch comic."

    Epstein went on to argue that the prestige of doctorates and honorary degrees has been diminished by political correctness and the relaxation of academic standards before urging Biden to "forget the small thrill of being Dr. Jill, and settle for the larger thrill of living for the next four years in the best public housing in the world as First Lady Jill Biden."

    Conservative pundits pointed to the episode as an example of what they say is a quickness on the part of the political left to be offended.

    "I'm sorry. Telling a white lady in her late 60s that she should stop calling herself doctor because she is not an actual medical doctor, that is not sexist. It's not," commentator Ben Shapiro

    Hillary Clinton tweeted: Her name is Dr. Jill Biden. Get used to it.

    Lots of politicos on Twitter were changing their bio and hilarity ensued.

    Story 2 - The Babylon Bee Presents An Exclusive Inside Look At 15 Upcoming Star Wars Shows

    Summary: Disney announced about 7,562 new Star Wars shows yesterday. But that's just the tip of the iceberg, as more shows are soon to follow. We at The Babylon Bee have a Star Wars insider (we're not saying it's Gina Carano, but we're not not saying it). We asked her -- or him, or them -- what shows have yet to be announced, and they were able to tease these upcoming shows. They sound amazing!

    Story 3 - Immediately After Moving To Texas, Elon Musk Announces Tesla AR-15

    Summary: After years of fighting lame California politicians who want to lock everyone in their homes so they can't go to space or build cool stuff, Tesla CEO Elon Musk announced he was moving to a land flowing with milk and honey called Texas. Almost immediately after the move, he announced a new product the whole world has been waiting for: the Tesla AR-15.

    Elon Musk really is moving to Texas

    Elon has a strange obsession with The Babylon Bee

    He said we were “savage” on Twitter.

    He also weirdly tagged us under an Onion story.

    What else could he create?

    Topic of the Week: Top Prophetic Chesterton Quotes

    G.K. Chesterton was a prolific and seemingly prophetic writer. Kyle and Ethan discuss.

    Hate Mail

    Ethan delivers a moving rendition of Linda not appreciating our satire when it targets her personal political hero and we discover a new word to describe journalism that makes us think of the bathroom.

    Subscriber Portion

    Bonus Chesterton Prophecies/Quotes

    Mailbag

    Caleb R. writes in to tell Ethan he is not alone with his toddler poop struggles.

    Bonus Hate Mail

    Someone was looking for highbrow content and mental stimulation and was sorely disappointed when he flipped out The Babylon Bee Podcast.

    Email your cool stories for subscriber exclusive reading to podcast@babylonbee.com


    Mike Lindell Interview: The Jesse Ventura of Pillows Dec 15, 2020

    In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk to Mike Lindell. Mike Lindell is the founder and current CEO of My Pillow. Mike Lindell first gained fame for starring in the My Pillow infomercials sporting his trademark mustache, periwinkle blue shirt, and cross necklace. He has gained recent notoriety for becoming one of President Trump’s biggest supporters. Mike shows why he is always the best at parties by sharing stories of his crack addiction, becoming a commercial celebrity, and how the media can’t cancel him.

    Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

    To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans

    Don’t forget to check out our store and pick up your Christmas gifts!

    • Subscription deals
    • The Sacred Texts
    • Santa punching heretics shirt

    Topics Discussed

    • What makes the My Pillow Great?
    • How an inventor’s mind works
    • Becoming an Evangelical speaker
    • World record pillow fight
    • Bible Verses with My Pillow
    • Addiction story
    • Getting cut off from a drug dealer
    • Lindell Recovery Network
    • Donald Trump
    • Swords, drugs, Mexico
    • Armed robbery as a card counter
    • Infomercials
    • Been on tv 3.2 million times
    • Periwinkle Blue shirts
    • Government is sequestering the supplements
    • South Dakota has been doing it right
    • California’s insanity with Covid
    • Donald Trump and the election
    • Addiction centers
    • Mask giveaway with a two hour sermon

    Subscriber Portion

    • My Pillow voting machine
    • My Pillow can help with all the corruption in politics
    • Wearing a cross at the crack house and on TV
    • Breaking records on the shopping network
    • Hears God by staying proactive in Prayer
    • Funding Unplanned
    • Riding a bulldozer in Unplanned
    • Being attacked by Jack Dorky
    • 10 Questions

    Santa Hacked, Iron Crotch Kung Fu, and Death By Poodle News Show 12.11.2020 Dec 11, 2020

    This is the Babylon Bee Weekly News Podcast for the week of 12/11/2020.

    In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan are joined by actress Wendy Shapero, who you may know from Dirt, Free Samples, Robot Chicken, or the voice of the mom from our very own Babylon Bee animation. They talk about the week’s biggest stories like how our government is covering up aliens being among us, the vaccine being distributed through pyramid schemes, and how Santa’s Nice List has become compromised through software glitches. They also talk about how Kung Fu masters look to spread the gospel of the iron crotch, read hate mail, and wonder how many trendy food products Wendy will pitch to us before the show ends.

    Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

    To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans

    This episode is brought to you by Faithful Counseling. Babylon Bee listeners get 10% their first month at that link.

    Intro

    Wendy talks about some of the roles she has played for The Babylon Bee and Robot Chicken. You might recognize her voice as the mom for our family or from the Halloween special. Here is the song she can’t get out of her head right now.

    Stuff that’s Good

    Kyle likes Almost Heroes

    Ethan likes Sugar Taylor sauce and Junebug rub

    Wendy Shapero likes walking on hot coals with Tony Robbins and TUSOL which she swears is totally not a pyramid scheme.

    Weird NewsAliens in hiding until mankind is ready, says ex-Israeli space head

    • Space aliens have reached an agreement with the US government to stay mum on the experiments they conduct on Earth — as well as their secret base on Mars — until mankind is ready to accept them, the former head of Israel’s space program, 87-year old Haim Eshed, claimed in a new interview.
    • “Trump was on the verge of revealing [aliens existence], but the aliens in the Galactic Federation are saying, ‘Wait, let people calm down first,'” Eshed, who helmed Israel’s space security program from 1981 to 2010, reportedly said. “They don’t want to start mass hysteria. They want to first make us sane and understanding.”
    • He also claims astronauts have already been to Mars… at the Alien’s secret base

    California man punches 350-pound bear in face to save beloved dog 'Buddy'

    • This happened in Nevada county, the bear had the dog by the head in its mouth and was dragging it back into the woods 100 ft away so Kaleb Benham ran out and punched the 350 pound bear in the face.
    • Buddy went into surgery and came out after three hours with some stitches and some staples, but was able to return home for Thanksgiving. Benham and Buddy spent the holiday in bed resting up and healing.
    • Buddy is expected to make a full recovery.

    “I’m OK, Just A Bit Tired”: Italian Man Walks 450 Kilometers To Cool Off After Arguing With His Wife

    • A man from Italy walked 280 miles after an argument with his wife
    • He was caught by police and fined for breaking the lockdown.
    • Wife had to pick him up and drive him back home after paying the fine.

    Mall Santa Rejects Nerf Gun Request, Brings Boy to Tears

    • A video making the rounds on social media shows a mall Santa bringing a young boy to tears by rejecting the child’s request for a Nerf gun, and going even further to say, “No guns.”
    • The New York Post reported the story, referring to the Kris Kringle imitator as a “politically correct Santa.”
    • Update: Christmas justice! That mall fired Woke Santa and got a nerf gun for the kid he made cry.

    Chinese “iron crotch” kung fu masters fight to preserve a painful-looking tradition

    • These guys smash their testicles
    • Its most famous technique involves a steel-plate capped log, 6.5 feet in length and weighing 88 pounds that swings through the air and smashes into a man’s crotch.
    • “When you practise iron crotch kung fu, as long as you push yourself, you will feel great,” said Wang, head of the Juntun Martial Arts Academy.

    Man uses sword to slice 68 grapes while standing on balance board to beat world record

    Stories of the Week

    Story 1 - 138,000 Kids Suddenly Added To Santa's Nice List In Middle Of Night

    Summary: Santa Claus's nice list is said to be run on trustworthy software, safe and secure on an unhackable server under his workshop.

    But some are questioning the legitimacy of the nice list after the tally suddenly spiked in the middle of the night, adding over 138,000 kids to the good side of the list.

    • There was a suspicious adjustment of 138,000 votes all for Biden in the middle of the night in Michigan.
    • There are still various Trump lawsuits and the state of Texas lawsuit about the election procedures around the nation.
    • We will probably get banned from YouTube for talking about it though according to their latest email.

    Story 2 - In Order To Appeal To Suburban Christian Women, Vaccine To Be Distributed Through A Pyramid Scheme

    Summary: Many people are skeptical of the coming vaccine, some due to political reasons, and others due to religious reasons or the fact that all the numbers in the vaccine's serial number add up to 666 or something.

    But there's one group that will definitely be on board with the vaccine now: suburban Christian women.

    That's because the vaccine is being rebranded as an empowering wellness product called VacciLife. Women can sign on as an independent VacciLife consultant just by purchasing a $200 starter kit. Then, they're able to become their own boss and control their financial future by selling the vaccine -- and, even more importantly, a great business opportunity -- to their friends and family.

    Story 3 - Newsom Issues Double Stay-at-Home Order Where You Have To Stay In A Smaller House Inside Your Original House

    Summary: In an attempt to fight another spike in COVID-19 infections in California, Governor Gavin Newsom has issued the first ever double stay-at-home order. With the new order, people aren’t only ordered to stay in their homes no matter what, but also aren’t free to wander around their homes. Instead they have to stay inside smaller houses inside their regular homes.

    It’s suggested that each member of the household stays inside their own tiny house until the pandemic ends, even babies.

    • Once again a policy that favors the rich (they have space in their big houses for small houses)
    • Newsom is trying to ban gathering, outdoor dining, etc. Lots of local county and city law enforcement aren’t listening
    • LA County tried to ban outdoor dining, but lost a court case about it.
    • Newsom is a hypocrite going to French Laundry with no mask and no social distancing
    • LA County Supervisor Sheila Kuehl voted to ban outdoor dining and then went to her favorite restaurant
    • Chef Gruel who owns nation-wide chain of restaurants called SLAPFISH Seafood basically said the government’s orders aren’t based on any science that outdoor dining is causing the spread of COVID and that banning outdoor dining is causing more people to gather indoors in their homes which we know is causing the spread. He told the government he’s going to stay open. He says, "It's crystal clear... elected officials are owned by corporate America or Silicon Valley, perhaps the entertainment industry— the rules don't apply to them. But they obviously apply to all of us small businesses, and we're getting crushed..."
    • Pete Davidson calling people babies for wanting to end the lockdown and get back to work —- FROM HIS JOB (SNL)
    • The Austin mayor told everyone to stay home while vacationing in Mexico

    Topic of the Week: Wikipedia’s List Of Unusual Deaths

    Kyle recently became obsessed with this morbid topic.

    Hate mail

    A woman really takes issue with how we apparently are banning meals that serve more than six.

    Subscriber Segment

    Subscriber update

    Kyle and Dan are launching a Babylon Bee Reads podcast starting with The Lord Of The Rings. Get the book, read the foreword, prologue, and chapter 1 and look for episodes to drop in a few weeks.

    Mailbag

    We have a Carman sighting from Bee friendCameron Belt

    MAGABoomer Bonus hate mail -

    A MAGAboomer responded to our newsletter and didn’t like us poking fun at Sydney Powell and sent us the most ALL CAPS, LINK-FILLED, ANIMATED GIF-filled MAGABoomer email we have ever received. And we are absolutely in love with it.

    Subscriber headlines

    We do a weekly rundown of the top subscriber-submitted headlines of the week and give shoutouts to the ones that even got published! HUGE shoutout!

    Got any cool stories?


    Bridget Phetasy Interview: Wasteland of The Center Dec 08, 2020

    In this episode of the Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk to Bridget Phetasy. Bridget is a well known writer and podcaster. She has a monthly column on the Spectator website and has two Podcast shows: Dumpster Fire and Walk-Ins Welcome. Bridget gained notoriety for making both liberals and conservatives angry through her writing and now has gained an even greater audience making people angry on Twitter. You may even recognize her voiceover work on the Bee Animation, where she has voiced Samantha and many others. Kyle and Ethan talk to Bridget about how Kanye West wrote a lyric about her, her struggle with addiction, and how she is stuck in the wasteland of being a centrist in a polarized political world.

    Topics Discussed

    • Bridget’s origin story
    • Bridget’s dreams being delusional
    • 2020 can be good
    • Tropic Thunder
    • Appearing on Jerry Springer’s show Baggage
    • Stand-up comedy
    • Appearing on Curb Your Enthusiasm
    • Voiceover work
    • Game of improv for a career
    • Ben Shapiro
    • Bridget’s first appearance on Fox
    • Kanye writing a song about Bridget
    • Risk of talking to the other side
    • The left being afraid of platforming
    • Danger of woke culture
    • Wasteland of the center
    • Gavin Newsom atrocities
    • Gun control
    • Free speech warrior
    • Pro brunch

    Subscriber Portion

    • Introduction of the subscriber lounge
    • The PG rating
    • Being politically homeless
    • Trump wearing people down
    • The election results
    • Sydney Powell
    • Encouraging man spreading
    • Equal hate from both sides
    • No sacred cows
    • Take the work seriously, don’t take yourself seriously
    • Hypocrisy of capitalism
    • Wealthy woke white women
    • People in power thinking they are oppressed
    • Fake vote suppression
    • Twitter fact check
    • Built Back Better
    • Alex Jones starting to sound reasonable
    • Religious talk
    • Conspiracy theories are hilarious
    • Trust in Institutions
    • Q Adjacent
    • Handling Trauma with jokes
    • 10 Questions
    • Good fight story
    • Best Concerts

    Worst Christmas Songs Ever And It’s Pronounced Heron News Show 12.4.2020 Dec 04, 2020

    This is the Babylon Bee Weekly News Podcast for the week of 12/4/2020.

    In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk about the week’s biggest stories like Biden’s all-female communications team reminding us that we should already know what’s wrong in the nation, Biden’s arm falling off in peanut butter jar opening attempt, and a bowl of porridge getting a record-shattering 80 million votes. Kyle and Ethan inform you about the worst Christmas songs ever so that you can avoid them. There’s weird news, glorious hate mail, and Kyle learns how to pronounce the word ‘heron’.

    Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

    To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans

    Introduction

    The Babylon Bee wishes our fanbase in Wyoming, MATT TUNSTALL, a happy 40th birthday!

    Also, Ethan is having some killer deals at his Axe Bear Store with a way to get a free Axe Cop trade paperback.

    Stuff That’s Good

    Kyle likes The Battle of Five Armies Behind the Scenes Video

    Ethan likes Axe Cop the Game which is available now on Steam!

    Weird News

    More than 150 Santas ride jet skis for Guinness record

    Mike Tyson eats ear off Roy Jones Jr. cake ahead of exhibition bout

    George Clooney Has Been Using Flowbee For Years

    Anti-gay Hungarian politician József Szájer resigns after being caught attending 25-man orgy in breach of COVID-19 rules

    Eel bursts out of Flying Heron’s stomach alien style

    Stories of the Week

    Story 1 - Biden All-Female Communications Team Won't Tell Nation What's Wrong, Nation Should Already Know

    Summary: Biden's transition team has announced they will be appointing an all-female communications team. According to sources, the team will not tell the nation what's wrong, since the nation should already know.

    Story 2 - Biden's Arm Falls Off While Trying To Open A Jar Of Peanut Butter

    Summary: Staffers have revealed that Biden was the victim of yet another tragic accident after his arm fell completely off as he attempted to open up a jar of peanut butter.

    Story 3 - In National Survey Of Favorite Foods, Lukewarm Bowl Of Porridge Wins 80 Million Votes

    Summary: In a surprise result from a national survey of favorite foods, the winner, with 80 million votes -- blowing away the previous record of 69 million votes -- was a lukewarm bowl of porridge. The soggy bowl of chopped grains has apparently exploded in popularity around the country and is now handily the most beloved food of all.

    Topic of the Week: The Worst Christmas Songs of All Time

    • Mary Did You Know?
    • The Christmas Shoes
    • Last Christmas
    • Wonderful Christmastime
    • Little Drummer Boy
    • Baby It’s Cold Outside
    • We Three Kings
    • Anything by Chris Tomlin “Joy to the World”
    • Santa Baby
    • I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus
    • Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer
    • All I Want for Christmas is my Two Front Teeth
    • Feliz Navidad
    • We Wish You a Merry Christmas
    • 12 Days of Christmas
    • Every Hanson Christmas album

    Bonus: Christmas songs we like

    • O Holy Night
    • O Come O Come Emmanuel
    • Rob Halford’s III Winter Songs
    • Dio’s God Rest Ye Merry Gentleman
    • Stryper - Winter Wonderland
    • Handel’s Messiah

    Hate Mail

    A concerned fan believes the Joker has released laughing gas at The Babylon Bee studios and some dude has a thing for sweaty jars of mayonnaise.

    Subscriber Portion

    Behind the Scenes Update

    Subscribers actually get to see the subscriber-exclusive lounge.

    Mailbag

    Video question from subscriber Allen Boone.

    Bonus Hate Mail

    This is the most flowerbedded email we have ever received.

    Headline Forums

    Got Any Cool Stories?

    Email your cool stories for subscriber exclusive reading to podcast@babylonbee.com


    Larry The Cable Guy Interview: Can't Cancel Mater Dec 01, 2020

    In this episode of the Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk to Dan Whitney better known as Larry The Cable Guy. Dan gained fame from the Blue Collar Comedy Tour while patenting the phrase “Get R Done” in his hilarious stand up act. Dan was able to reach out to the next generation when he voiced the role of Mater in the Pixar film, Cars. Dan talks to Kyle and Ethan about how he snagged the role of Mater, how he’s canceling cancel culture, and the time he had to get Chuck Berry off stage.

    Topics Discussed

    • Larry The Cable Guy on the View
    • Why Dan chose the name Reagan for his daughter
    • How Dan found the Babylon Bee
    • The Story of Dan snagging the role of Mater
    • Joking with Paul Newman
    • Kicking Chuck Berry off stage
    • How Dan became Larry The Cable Guy
    • Ben Shapiro Tweet
    • Can’t cancel Larry The Cable Guy
    • Late night talk hosts
    • Goofiness of Steve Martin
    • The worst audiences of the world
    • Being a comedy superstar
    • Tobacco spitting and Delta Farce
    • Replacing the Rock and Arnold Schwarzenegger

    Subscriber Portion

    • Friendship with Lewis Black
    • Cool stories with Jeff Foxworthy
    • 10 questions
    • Another Carmen story

    The Babylon Bee Thanksgiving Special 2020 Nov 26, 2020

    This is The Babylon Bee 2020 Thanksgiving Special.

    Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

    To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans.

    Check out the new Babylon Bee book: The Sacred Texts Of The Babylon Bee. It makes a great Christmas gift!

    Check out the new Axe Cop video game coming out Thanksgiving 2020! Watch Kyle and Ethan react to their first time playing here!

    In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan don’t talk about the week’s top stories. They are joined by the rest of the studio Bee crew, Matthew McDavid, Dan Coats, and Patrick Green, to have a Thanksgiving feast and talk about gratitude, interesting facts about the history of Thanksgiving, and how Kyle sees himself as Tom Bombadil. In the subscriber portion, the dinner guests break into a meeting of the Chestertonians by reading The Philosophy of Gratitude by G.K. Chesterton.

    Also mentioned on the podcast: This article is what producer Dan had in mind about the first socialist thanksgiving: The Great Thanksgiving Hoax.


    Kellen Erskine Interview: TikTok, Gambling, and Appendicitis Nov 24, 2020

    In this episode of the Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk to Kellen Erskine. Kellen Erskine is a professional stand-up comedian and a current writer on the upcoming Tuttle Twins Television series. Kellen is a repeat guest that provided one of the more hilarious interviews and somehow makes this one even better. Kellen talks about the reason he despises Tik Tok, his first time gambling, and how his wife made his Appendicitis worse.

    Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

    To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans.

    Topics Discussed

    • Passive-aggressive Leaf Blowers
    • Virtual Comedy shows
    • Why Kellen had to pay for someone to break into his house
    • The delicacy of Stand up Comedy
    • Selfishness of Christmas songs
    • Writing on the Tuttle Twins
    • Performing at a Masonic Temple
    • The torture of the Berenstain Bears Books
    • Brave Ollie Possum
    • Gambling in Atlantic City
    • Kellen’s wife making his appendicitis worse
    • Why Kellen despises TikTok

    Subscriber Portion

    • More on FreeMasons
    • Dry Bar Comedy
    • Howie Mandel Story
    • Lunacy of Highschool Mascots
    • 10 Questions
    • Good fight story

    Bee Animation Takes Off, Baby Yoda Is Pro-Choice, Drones Get Woke News Show 11.20.2020 Nov 20, 2020

    This is the Babylon Bee Weekly News Podcast for the week of 11/20/2020.

    In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk about the week’s biggest stories like Disney cleaning up that shocking Mandalorian scene where Baby Yoda ate an unfertilized egg, Biden slapping some BLM stickers on attack drones, and Target making marketing decision based on single tweets. Get a behind the scenes look at The Babylon Bee’s sweet new animation studio taking flight and listen to Kyle and Ethan talk about weird real news, stuff that’s good, and glorious hate mail.

    Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

    To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans

    This episode is brought to you by Faithful Counseling. Bee listeners get 10% off at that link!

    Introduction

    Kyle went to Texas and experienced Buc-ee’s, guns, and freedom.

    Stuff That’s Good

    Kyle likes Economics in One Lesson by Henry Hazlitt.

    Ethan likes the Roald Dahl Audio collection.

    Weird News

    Sri Lankan Lawmaker bites raw fish to bolster slumping sales

    • After a coronavirus outbreak was traced back to the Central Fish maker in Colombo, the country’s commercial capital, the fishing industry took a hit.
    • "I am making an appeal to the people of this country to eat this fish. Don't be afraid. The coronavirus will not infect you," the lawmaker said, before taking a bite out of a raw fish

    Japanese Town Deploys Growling Robot ‘Wolves’ to protect residents from Bears

    • With bear sightings at a five year high, and dozens attacks reported in Japan alone, city officials in the town of Takikawa on the island of Hokkaido
    • Looking like a cross between Wolverine and the Terminator, each cyborg Canis lupus comes equipped with flashing red eyes, a blinking tail, and a repertoire of loud, threatening sounds—growls, roars, and heavy machinery noise—all triggered by motion detectors.

    School asks parents to stop throwing late students over closed gate

    • The Trillade school in Avignon put up signs outside its gate showing a cartoon of a parent sending a small child airborne to get over the fence. The text on the sign asks parents not to throw their children

    Botched carving restoration on Spanish building ridiculed online

    • A carved figure in the facade of a Spanish building is going viral on social media after an apparent botched restoration left the figure's face unrecognizable.
    • The result of the restoration has drawn comparisons to the botched "Monkey Christ" fresco restoration in the town of Borja, as well as comparisons to the faces of a Tusken Raider from Star Wars and U.S. President Donald Trump.

    Video shows unauthorized man with flamethrower atop NYC bus

    • A rapper who said he was making a tribute to a legendary New York City hip-hop group was recorded shooting a flamethrower from the top of an occupied city bus in an unsanctioned stunt a transit agency spokesman called “absurd, dangerous and just plain stupid.
    • Dupree, who also refers to himself as the Flame G.O.D, posted drone footage of the effort. In an earlier Instagram post, he invited people to the area for ice cream, T-shirts and champagne

    Egg fight at Tesco after woman was shushed for two minute silence

    • A woman was told to shush while other customers observed the silence in of fallen servicemen and women. However, she took umbrage at this.
    • A witness heard someone shout “you’ve disrespected my mother”

    7th Grade Language Art teach “living in the forest” and doesn’t have adequate internet to host.

    Stories of the Week

    Disney Edits Controversial Mandalorian Scene So Baby Yoda Just Eats An Unborn Baby

    Summary: Disney has edited its controversial scene from The Mandalorian, where The Child eats an unfertilized alien egg, so that the creature affectionately known as "Baby Yoda" will simply eat an unborn human baby instead.

    • Libs were mad that Baby Yoda ate an unfertilized alien egg.
    • May we also add that the alien egg, along with Baby Yoda, and along with the entire plot and cast of Mandalorian, is FICTIONAL
    • Buuuut abortion? Not so much.
    • Gina Carano loves us

    Progress: Biden Administration To Apply 'Black Lives Matter' Decals To All Attack Drones

    Summary: Now this is progress: in a move to bring attention to issues of social justice in the United States, the Biden administration has announced that all attack drones used to bomb countries in the Middle East will have "Black Lives Matter" decals applied to them. Inspiring!

    • We’re not sure why everyone is acting like the Biden administration will be love, tolerance and rainbows. The Obama administration dropped over 26,000 bombs in 2016 alone. That’s 72 bombs a day.

    Target Immediately Pulls Bible From Shelves After Church Of Satan Complains

    Summary: After the Church of Satan complained on Twitter that Target was selling Bibles, the retailer quickly apologized and pulled the Bible from its shelves. The Church of Satan complained that the book was "Satanophobic." Its tweet got 666 retweets, and Target jumped into action, immediately responding to the tweet that the book was pulled from shelves.

    • We jest. But ACTUALLY: Target DID pull Abigail Shrier’s book after one person complained.
    • UPDATE: Target backpedaled again because a different trans person complained about censorship
    • We later found out 40,000 Gamers DID sign a petition to remove the Bible from Target after the retailer decided to ban Grand Theft Auto V from their stores. Target said “we don’t sell the Bible.”

    Topic of the Week: Bee Animation

    • Halloween
    • ACB
    • Satan song

    Hate Mail

    We got an email from someone who normally likes our stuff.

    Subscriber Portion

    Subscriber exclusive updates from The Babylon Bee

    Mailbag

    Gavin asks Kyle and Ethan about changes to old hymns.

    Bonus Hate Mail!

    Patrick or “laugh track” as he is affectionately called reads hate mail about his laugh.

    Subscriber Headlines of the Week

    Ethan’s “friend” has a really funny story.


    Alisa Childers: The Dangers of Progressive Christianity Nov 17, 2020

    This is the Babylon Bee Interview show.

    In this episode of the Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk to Alisa Childers. Alisa Childers first gained fame by being in the Christian Pop band, ZOEgirl. Alisa has since moved on from music into becoming a Christian Apologist with her own podcast and her debut book, Another Gospel?, available wherever you find books. Alisa’s apologist story began when she discovered her Pastor was a self proclaimed “Hopeful Agnostic” thus leading her on a journey of discovering historic Christianity and the true meaning of rap core. Ethan and Kyle receive all the CCM back stories including that of the mysterious Carman.

    Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

    To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans.

    Topics Discussed

    • Alisa’s logo design explanation
    • What is Historic Christianity?
    • Origin of ZOEgirl
    • Alisa’s Crisis of Faith
    • Hopeful Agnostic Pastor
    • Journey towards becoming an Apologist
    • Defining Progressive Christianity
    • Ways Progressive Christianity is infiltrating the Evangelical Church

    Subscriber Portion

    • Cool Stories
    • Newsboys food habits
    • Ending up on Aerosmith's bus
    • Altar call with Journey
    • ZOEgirl name Origin
    • Rapcore
    • 10 Questions
    • G.K. Chesterton
    • Babylon Bee Altar Call

    The Left Makes Enemies List/Pandemic Is Over/The Sacred Texts News Show 11.13.2020 Nov 13, 2020

    This is the Babylon Bee Weekly News Podcast for the week of 11/13/2020.

    In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk about the week’s biggest stories like the pandemic being officially over now that Biden is President-elect, Biden’s secret list of cabinet picks getting leaked by The Babylon Bee, and the party against fascism, the Democrats, are creating a giant list of enemies because that always ends well. Also, The Bee’s big ‘covfefe’ table book The Sacred Texts of The Babylon Bee Volume 1 is finally hitting the streets and we have weird news and glorious hate mail!

    Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

    To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans

    Introduction

    Kyle and Ethan talk about why Kyle looked like a hobo last week, vacuum haircut devices as seen on Wayne’s World, the brand new The Sacred Texts Of The Babylon Bee Volume 1 available now and whether or not to accept the election results.

    Stuff That’s Good

    Kyle likes Dungeons & Dragons

    • Basic Rules
    • Starter Set
    • Tomb of Annihilation
    • Tomb of the Serpent Kings

    Ethan likes Bear in the Back Seat by Kim Delozier and Carolyn Jourdan.

    Weird News

    “Bigot” has been given a new dictionary definition (NTB)

    • Oxford English Dictionary’s definition of ‘bigot’ now reads: "A person who is obstinately or unreasonably attached to a belief, opinion, or faction, especially one who is prejudiced against or antagonistic toward a person or people on the basis of their membership of a particular group."
    • It no longer reads: “A person who is intolerant toward those holding different opinions.”

    Woman arrested for pretending to be FBI agent and demanding free Chick-fil-A. She even talked into her shirt like she was calling backup. (NTB)

    • Authorities said Ragsdale kept up the ruse even as she was being arrested Thursday, at one point pretending to talk into a radio supposedly hidden under her shirt and urging the FBI to send someone to her aid, according to The Polk County Standard Journal, citing police. She also claimed her credentials were electronic-only when officers asked to see identification.
    • Can FBI agents demand chick-fil-a?

    Russian scientists discover huge walrus haulout in Arctic circle

    • What the heck is a haulout - is it pronounced “haloot!” which is another word for Walrus dance party
    • There were 3,000 walruses found in Russia
    • The animals are believed to be going further and further south as scientists believe their habitats are warming and melting due to climate change
    • Is John Bolton among them? How is he doing?

    "Hey, Siri … How old is the president?" Her answer might shock (and infuriate) you (NTB)

    • For some period of time, Siri would tell you how old Kamala Harris is… not Donald Trump or even presumptive President-elect Joe Biden
    • Kyle tried it and it worked

    100 Year Old Disc Golf Player Breaks Guinness Record With Long Throw

    • At age 90 set a World Record when he lobbed a disc at a distance of 189 feet
    • At age 100 threw a disc 189 feet for the over 100 age bracket
    • Shinn said he is proud of his world record, but he feels like he can beat it again

    Indian man builds 9-foot-long marker pen for Guinness\\\\\\\ record

    • This one is just to piss Kyle off.

    Parrot returns to British Owner speaking Spanish - four years after disappearing

    • Nigel, a grey African Parrot, flew away from his home in California in 2010, but was returned to his British owner, Darren Chick, after he was discovered in Torrance, California.
    • The bird’s British accent is gone, replace by fluent Spanish and someone called “Larry”

    King of West African Tribe returns to gardening job in Canada

    • Eric Manu became royalty when his 67 year old uncle, Dat, passed away last year
    • He moved back to British Columbia, he has returned to landscaping and gardening in the town in a bid to raise cash for his 6,000 strong tribe
    • Manu hopes to improve healthcare with all the money he raises

    Stories of the Week

    Story 1

    Pandemic Officially Over

    Summary: After almost a year of suffering under a devastating killer pandemic, America was relieved to learn that the pandemic is officially over after they saw huge crowds of people smashed together celebrating Biden’s apparent electoral win.

    • You still can’t go to church or go to a funeral, but hey!
    • People were celebrating in the streets in mass crowds when major news like the AP and others declared Joe Biden the President-elect on Saturday 11/7.
    • Scientists predict if Trump manages to flip the results COVID will return with a vengeance

    Story 2We at The Babylon Bee have acquired a top-secret list of Biden’s cabinet picks. Here they are.

    Story 3

    The political party vocally opposed to fascism, the Democrats, have begun creating lists of undesirables

    • AOC’s tweet
    • The Trump Accountability Project
    • “Remember what they did,” the group’s sparse website declares. “We should not allow the following groups of people to profit from their experience: Those who elected him. Those who staffed his government. Those who funded him.”

    Topic of the Week

    The Sacred Texts of The Babylon Bee

    • Retrospective on the life of The Bee
    • Pull our favorite articles from the book
    • Read through some of the new infographics

    Hate Mail

    This guy really hates Jonah Goldberg.

    Subscriber Portion

    • Behind the Scenes Update
    • Mailbag From 13yo Kaitlyn and Jana asks about our podcast diet.
    • Bonus Hate Mail
      • Cancel your own subscription!
    • Headline Forum - Subscriber Headlines of the Week
    • Got Any Cool Stories? / Calvin Update
    • Email your cool stories for subscriber exclusive reading to podcast@babylonbee.com

    Austin Petersen: Secular Pro-Life Dude Bro Interview Nov 10, 2020

    This is the Babylon Bee Interview show.

    In this episode of the Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk to Austin Petersen. Austin Petersen ran for President in the 2016 election with the Libertarian Party and is the founder and chief editor for The Libertarian Republic Website. He is described as a secular dude bro that is Pro life and finds more in common with many Christian Conservatives than those in his own party. Kyle and Ethan test Austin on his Libertarian views, especially in terms of Trump policies, Ferret ownership, and how often he prays to the Libertarian father, Ron Paul.

    Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

    To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans.

    This episode is brought to you by Faithful Counseling. Get 10% off your first month.

    Topics Discussed

    • Election Day
    • How many times does Austin show reverence toward Ron Paul?
    • Why Petersen voted for Trump
    • Major difference between Dems and Republicans
    • Conservatism is about losing slowly
    • The Two kinds of libertarians
    • Libertarian view on Ferret ownership
    • Are Libertarians Eating babies?
    • Secular argument toward Pro life
    • Creation of incubation chambers
    • Secular journey for Petersen
    • Why Petersen prefers Christian Conservative to Atheists Communists
    • Not speaking up is much worse
    • Libertarian Government future is not good
    • Senator Mike Lee
    • Libertarians take on a social justice warrior perspective

    Subscriber Portion

    • Problem with Petersen’s Wiki page
    • Living in a dumpster behind a quick drip
    • Being a dude bro
    • Most Garbage Libertarian website
    • Why Petersen can’t fit in to any political party
    • 10 questions
    • Good Kick fight story

    The Babylon Bee Election Special News Show 11.6.2020 Nov 06, 2020

    This is The Babylon Bee News Podcast for the week of 11/6/2020.

    In this Election 2020 special, your hosts Kyle Mann and Ethan Nicolle do a recap of all of our Election 2020 coverage which turned out to be fake news you could trust after all. They fondly remember all the absurd moments of the primaries and general election and try to bring some sanity to your election week craziness. We make politics way too important as G.K. Chesterton teaches us in this most excellent Election Podcast Special. Also, will you be our RBG?

    Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

    To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans

    This episode is brought to you by Small Group The Movie.

    Introduction

    Kyle voted for the first time and is haggard and tired. Ethan wrote a song to bring us all together: Be my RBG.

    Stuff That’s Good

    Kyle likes Star Wars Squadrons.

    Ethan likes Monster DC Sniper.

    Weird news

    Costco pulls coconut milk after report on forced monkey labor

    • A PETA investigation accused Thai growers, who supply the coconuts for coconut milk such as the Chaokoh brand, of forcing monkeys to work as coconut pickers. Costco has stopped selling coconut milk derived from those producers, reports USA Today.
    • Seems inefficient. Can’t you just put a big snipper on a stick and get them down?
    • PETA says some of the monkeys are driven insane.

    Off-duty Nevada officer dressed as 'Star Wars' Stormtrooper stops suspected drunken driver

    • An off-duty state trooper wearing a "Star Wars" costume while returning home from a Halloween party prevented a suspected drunken driver from entering a Las Vegas freeway in the wrong direction.

    Indian doctor duped into buying ‘Aladdin’s lamp’ for $93,000

    • Police in India’s northern Uttar Pradesh state have arrested two men who allegedly duped a doctor into buying an “Aladdin’s lamp” for $93,000 that they promised would bring wealth and good fortune.
    • Dr Laeek Khan approached police in the northern state of Uttar Pradesh after he realised the lamp did not have any magical powers, as described in the popular folk tale about Aladdin and his wish-granting genie that appears when it is rubbed.

    California kayakers end up in mouth of humpback whale

    • Two kayakers escaped uninjured when they briefly ended up in the mouth of a humpback whale that surfaced beneath them.

    Seance live streamed from British manor breaks Guinness record

    Babylon Bee Election Coverage:

    2020 Election Roundup: The Insane Democratic Primary

    Trump Vs Biden: The Babylon Bee's Top Articles From The 2020 Election

    Topic of the Week

    Kyle and Ethan read a portion of Chesterton’s What’s Right with the World

    Hate Mail

    We get chewed out by a retired Army guy for our coverage of Mitch McConnel’s recent encounter with a plastic six-pack ring.

    Love Mail

    We get some crude love mail that we can appreciate.

    Subscriber Lounge

    Kyle and Ethan talk about politics being made to be more important than it is, discontent, prigs, and oligarchs as they continue reading from G.K. Chesterton.


    Jonah Goldberg On Why He Has Distaste for Gandhi and Trump: Jonah Goldberg Interview Nov 03, 2020

    This is the Babylon Bee Interview Show.

    In this episode of the Babylon bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk to Jonah Goldberg. Jonah Goldberg is the Asness Chair in Applied Liberty at the American Enterprise Institute and a Fellow at the National Review Institute. In 2019, he left a role as Senior Editor of National Review magazine after a 21-year stint with the publication to start a new venture. He has been a weekly columnist for the Los Angeles Times since 2005 and a nationally syndicated columnist since 2000. He hosts the popular podcast The Remnant with Jonah Goldberg.

    His most recent book, Suicide of the West: How the Rebirth of Tribalism, Populism, Nationalism, and Identity Politics Is Destroying American Democracy, was also a New York Times bestseller in 2018.


    California Cancels Thanksgiving, but keeps BLM Protests/ACB Orders Handmaid’s Outfits, and Democrats Propose More Coyotes News Show 10.30.2020 Oct 30, 2020

    This is The Babylon Bee Weekly News Show for the week of 10/30/2020.

    In this Spooky episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk about the Babylon Bee being mentioned at the Senate hearings and the week’s top stories like another amazing Guinness World Record that Kyle gets so excited about, ACB ordering all Nation’s Women to Wear Handmaid’s Outfits, Democrats Proposing to stop Coyotes by distracting them with Decoy Roadrunners, and after Thanksgiving being banned, Californians turning to Turkey Barbecues in Honor of Black Lives Matter. Kyle and Ethan also share their favorite Horror Movies, TV Shows, and Books all in time for you to enjoy them before Halloween. Tune in for more weird news, cool stories, a trip to the mailbag and, of course, glorious hate mail.

    Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

    To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans.

    This episode is brought to you by Small Group The Movie.

    Introduction

    Kyle and Ethan joke about Jack Dorsey dressing as a homeless man during his remote senate hearings and being referenced at the Senate hearings.

    Stuff That’s Good

    Kyle likes Geeks Under Grace

    Ethan likes Flor De Selva cigars

    Weird News

    • World’s longest gum wrapper chain created by 70 year old retired teacher
    • He began the feat back in 1965, which is when Gum chains were quite popular
    • Gary’s record breaking chain came in at a mind boggling 106,810 ft.
    • Gary says as someone with no special skills that he has to do a lot of hard work in order to succeed in getting a world record
    • Woman allegedly posed as prosecutor, dropped charges against herself
    • Lisa Landon used the state’s electronic system to drop the charges and submitted fake documents in three separate criminal cases last year.
    • A forensic examiner who was supposed to perform a competency evaluation on her, noticed the charges were dropped.
    • Landon also falsified a judge’s decision to waive a filing fee and faked an order in a child custody case involving her child and a family member
    • Police ID pastor accused of urinating on female Delta passenger: ‘He peed on me!’
    • According to the passenger named Alicia Beverly, told police she woke up on the plane around 2:45am to find a man urinating on her.
    • After Beverly yelled ‘He peed on me,’ the Pastor said “I peed on her, I thought I was going to the bathroom”
    • ‘Big Pile’ of eels dumped in NYC park; impact not yet known
    • After dumping the eels in the lake, the man walked away, explaining to bystanders that “I just want to save lives”
    • New York has a long history of people releasing animals. In 1890, Shakespeare enthusiasts released a flock of 60 European starlings(birds) that destroyed crops and snarl jet engines
    • California billionaire Bill Gross accused of blaring ‘Gilligan’s Island’ theme song on loop at his neighbor
    • Gross was frustrated that he was forced by the city to take down a series of lighting and netting that blocked the neighbors view.
    • The neighbor told Gross to turn the music down and he responded “Peace on all fronts or we’ll just have nightly concerts big boy”
    • Prescription drugs reported in children’s Halloween candy after California event
    • At a trunk or treat where kids would get candy through their windows, Police reported that a mother called after she found a resealable plastic bag with four blue pills and a white tablet in her child’s bag of candy
    • Recommended to parents to go through their children’s candy piece by piece before they eat any of it
    • Headless horseman brings music, double-takes to Concord, MA
    • Man rides bicycle with no hands playing guitar while in a headless horseman costume
    • Bicyclist says he has started to play the trumpet instead of the guitar on some days
    • He has fallen, he said, but no serious falls as the headless horseman though

    Story 1

    Newly Sworn-In ACB Immediately Orders All Nation's Women To Wear Handmaid's Outfit

    Summary:WASHINGTON, D.C.—After being sworn in as a Supreme Court justice, Amy Coney Barrett immediately issued a decree that all women are to wear red handmaid's outfits for the rest of their lives.

    "Execute papal order 66," she said, her eyes glowing red. "Implement the theocratic state."

    • ACB was confirmed on a party line vote in the Senate 52-48 with only one Republican Susan Collins voting NO.
    • 'No': Graham Shuts Down Democrats' Attempts to Delay ACB Vote
      • Graham says that after what they did to Kavanaugh he is a changed man and didn’t seem to have any tolerance for what they were trying to do.
    • Democrat Harry Reid got rid of the rule requiring a supermajority to end debate over a nominee in 2013 so these narrow votes are able to get through.

    Story 2

    Democrats Propose Stopping Coyotes By Distracting Them With Decoy Roadrunners

    Summary: After Trump brought attention to the coyote epidemic at the southern border during the debates, Democrats on Twitter are offering unique solutions to the problem, such as setting up decoy roadrunners to distract the coyotes.

    Trump brought up coyotes bringing immigrants over the border. Liberals freaked out on Twitter and it was hilarious.

    https://twitter.com/SophNar0747/status/1319524700721192967

    USA Today Factcheck: Fact check: Trump did not mean actual 'coyotes' take children across the border

    A "coyote," also known as "el coyote" is a term for people who smuggle others across borders in exchange for payment.

    Story 3

    After Thanksgiving Banned, Californians To Hold Turkey Barbecues In Honor Of Black Lives Matter On November 26

    Summary: CALIFORNIA—Gavin Newsom has effectively banned Thanksgiving from California, requiring celebrating households to have only a few people, no bathroom usage, two-hour maximums, and individual plates.

    Californians all announced they are complying with the plan and instead of celebrating Thanksgiving will be holding Black Lives Matter turkey barbecues scheduled, coincidentally, for November 26.

    Topic of the Week

    Scary Stuff We Like

    Ethan:

    Movies:

    Exorcism of Emily Rose

    Evil Dead 2 and Army of Darkness

    Bad Taste, Dead Alive (Braindead)

    The Babadook

    Troll 2

    Birdemic

    the Thing (Kurt Russell)

    Get Out

    Shaun of the Dead

    Gremlins

    Spielberg’s War of the Worlds

    The Monster Squad

    Riki Oh

    Dead Heat

    Books:

    Brave Ollie Possum!

    Babylon Bee Writers recommend the Cat which has a kung fu fight between a cat and dog

    Kyle:

    Movies:

    • New Blumhouse series - The Lie, Black Box, Nocturne, Evil Eye.
    • It Follows
    • The Witch
    • Misery
    • The Shining
    • Cabin in the Woods
    • Happy Death Day
    • Alien
    • Get Out
    • The Invisible Man
    • A Quiet Place
    • 2017’s It
    • Zombieland
    • Color Out of Space
    • 1922
    • Doctor Sleep
    • Black Sheep

    Books:

    • The Shining
    • Pet Sematary
    • Misery
    • Salem’s Lot
    • Frankenstein
    • Something Wicked This Way Comes
    • Carrie
    • Lovecraft: At the Mountains of Madness, The Festival, The Rats in the Walls, The Shadow over Innsmouth, Colour out of Space

    Hate Mail

    Check out some of the best Hate Tweets that are doing their best at hurting Kyle and Ethan’s feelings.

    Subscriber Lounge

    • Behind the Scenes Update of the Studio being installed
    • Updates on the Babylon Bee Book being sent out
    • Kyle and Ethan read from the mailbag about their experiences with Christian Worship music
    • Bonus hate mail from a reader that discourages Lebron wearing Lace to Basketball games
    • Exclusive cool Ethan and Kyle stories
    • Email your cool stories for subscriber exclusive reading to podcast@babylonbee.com

    Doug Wilson Talks Worshipers Being Arrested/Sex Robots/Postmillennialism Oct 27, 2020

    This is The Babylon Bee Interview Show.

    In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk to Doug Wilson. Doug is a pastor, author of over 90 books, most recently of Ride, Sally, Ride, and the host of Man Rampant. His church got in the news recently for a non-socially distanced, unmasked Psalm Sing in Moscow, Idaho that landed several members of their church in jail. They talk about what happened at the Psalm Sing, churches disengaging with the culture and politics, and why a Christian would write a book about sex robots.

    Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

    To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans.

    This episode is brought to you by Faithful Counseling. Get 10% off your first month.

    Topics Discussed:

    • The Moscow Psalm Sing
    • The Doug Wilson Cult and complex in Moscow
    • The Fight, Laugh, Feast network
    • Churches being politically active and engaging the culture or not
    • Churches meeting or not because of COVID-19
    • Partisan politics- is it a sin to vote for Joe Biden?
    • Dead people voting
    • Controversy surrounding Doug Wilson
    • Slavery, William Wilberforce
    • Revolution vs. Reformation as means of change, applying this to abortion
    • Postmillennialism in the year 2020
    • Mark of the Beast going on facemasks
    • Writing books about sex robots like Ride, Sally, Ride
    • Appropriateness of lewd, shocking things in Christian art

    Subscriber Portion

    • What the heck is Federal Vision?
    • Doug Wilson’s respectful relationship and debate with atheist Christopher Hitchens
    • The Ten Questions
    • Doug tells an awesome fistfight story
    • Kyle and Ethan de-convert Doug Wilson
    • Kyle and Ethan Post-Show

    Trump Tweets The Bee/Jordan Peterson Returns/Facebook Kills Comedy News Show 10.23.2020 Oct 23, 2020

    This is The Babylon Bee Weekly News Show for the week of 10/23/2020.

    In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk about the week’s top stories like President Trump tweeting out a Babylon Bee story, Jordan Peterson returning with the 12 Rules For Life on stone tablets, and how Facebook is murdering comedy. The Babylon Bee also has some updated and more realistic travel posters to America’s big cities. Tune in for more weird news, cool stories, a trip to the mailbag and, of course, glorious hate mail.

    Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

    To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans.

    This episode is brought to you by Small Group The Movie.

    Introduction

    Kyle and Ethan joke about our recent spat with Mark Zuckerberg and dive into the weekly news.

    Stuff That’s Good

    Kyle likes the 2018 video game Celeste.

    Ethan likes I survived...

    Weird News

    Space Station air leak repaired with help from floating tea leaves

    • There was a slow air leak in a transfer chamber on the space station that suddenly got worse
    • Astronauts broke open a tea bag to watch the leaves float toward where the leak was so they could use tape to seal it.

    'Breathable Bacon' face mask gives wearers the aroma of bacon

    • A U.S. company is offering fans of breakfast meats the chance to enjoy the scent of sizzling pork anytime they want with a bacon-scented face mask.
    • Hormel said the Black Label Breathable Bacon mask uses the "the latest in bacon-smell technology" to give the wearer the experience of smelling bacon anytime they don the protection accessory.
    • Do they make a soy version?

    Naked teen taken into custody after damaging business, covering himself in ranch dressing and crashing car.

    • Sheriffs responded to a call at 3:30am and found a naked 17 year old man who was under the influence of a substance
    • The man had covered himself in ranch dressing and damaged property inside the business
    • He ran outside and drove off. Didn’t get far and crashed into a pillar.
    • He must do penance by covering himself in CFA sauce

    Tennessee teenager's homemade fusion reactor lands Guinness record

    • the world's youngest person to achieve nuclear fusion after officials verified that he built his own nuclear fusion reactor at his family's home and successfully used it in his final hours of being 12 years old.
    • Tony Stark?

    Blindfolded man smashes 50 coconuts around another man's body

    • An Indian martial artist showed off his strength and precision when he donned a blindfold and smashed 50 coconuts that were arranged around the body of another man.
    • They were given a Guinness World Record
    • The men, Rakesh B and Prabhakar Reddy P, were awarded the Guinness record for most coconuts smashed around a person blindfolded in 1 minute.
    • Kyle would like to protest these absolutely ridiculous records
    • What’s next? Most toothpicks covered in Crisco fit into a microwave?

    Story 1

    Check Out These Eight Beautiful Travel Posters For America's Democrat-Controlled Cities

    Summary: U.S.—With people leaving Democrat cities in droves, mayors and city councils are hoping to fill them back up again -- with tourists!

    Maybe it's time to give these cities a second chance. Check out these beautiful tourism posters from Democrat-controlled cities around the country!

    • Read the posters and the punchline, keep it tight, video version will display the posters

    Story 2

    Trump Shares Babylon Bee Article, Thousands Accept Jesus Into Their Hearts

    Summary: WASHINGTON, D.C.—Thousands around the world are forsaking their sins and receiving Christ this week after Trump shared an article from The Babylon Bee.

    The Babylon Bee is widely known as the most Christian website ever created. In fact, it is so insanely Christian that a single share on social media has the power to instantly save hundreds of souls. According to sources, Trump was ignorant of this fact before sharing the article.

    • USA TODAY: Trump tweets satirical news story: What is Babylon Bee and is it 'fake news'?
    • The knowingly fake story came from Babylon Bee, a satire site with a conservative bent, and claimed, in jest, that Twitter was shutting down its platform to prevent the spread of negative news about Democratic nominee Joe Biden.
    • "Wow, this has never been done in history. This includes his really bad interview last night. Why is Twitter doing this," Trump tweeted.
    • Also mentioned: Video of Trump being normal guy at church in Las Vegas.

    Story 3

    Jordan Peterson Returns To Find Americans Worshiping Golden Statue Of Karl Marx, Breaks 12 Rules For Life In Anger

    Summary: After a year-long excursion into the belly of the beast, Dr. Jordan Peterson emerged this week and was dismayed to find millions of Americans worshipping at the altar of a golden Karl Marx statue. Overtaken with righteous anger, he smashed his stone tablets containing 12 Rules for Life into tiny pieces.

    • Jordan Peterson seems to be back posting to his YouTube channel a video entitled Return Home.
    • He had been out of the public eye for a very long time with a severe reaction he had to a anti-anxiety medication he had been taking as prescribed but became chemically dependent upon when he tried to cease taking it
    • He ended his video by saying, “"With God's grace and mercy, I'll be able to start generating original material once again and pick up where I left off."
    • We are interviewing Mikhaila soon so stay tuned for that!

    Topic of the Week: Facebookgate and the challenges of writing comedy for the internet

    • Facebook took down this facebook post Senator Hirono Demands ACB Be Weighed Against A Duck To See If She Is A Witch
    • 'It's literally a regurgitated joke from a Monty Python movie!" the Bee's CEO exclaimed.
    • Facebook completely deactivated any monetizing tools for us on their site.
    • Kyle’s tweet thread about this.
    • What makes writing comedy for the internet difficult? How the articles are seen, shared, received, etc.
    • It’s like a comedy show where you can’t talk to the audience directly. Instead, you must tell your jokes to Mark Zuckerberg. Then, he edits your joke and walks out to your audience and tells them the ones he finds appropriate. You’re never sure if a “bomb” is your fault or Mark’s.
    • Check out Kyle’s op-ed in Thursday’s edition of the WSJ
    • Kyle mentioned this Vulture article on how Facebook is killing comedy
    • Funny or Die was thriving, then Facebook came along. They fired a bunch of their writers ‘cause it was impossible to write for Facebook’s algorithm. Every post throttled, etc.

    Hate Mail

    We get some very fiery Scottish rendition of this week’s hate mail.

    Subscriber Lounge

    • A more structured Subscriber Portion!
    • Book updates and office updates
    • Mailbag
    • Mega Bonus Hate Mail
    • Headline Forum
    • Exclusive cool Ethan and Kyle stories
    • Email your cool stories for subscriber exclusive reading to podcast@babylonbee.com

    The Tolkien And Lewis Bromance: The Diana Glyer Interview Oct 20, 2020

    Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

    This is the Babylon Bee Interview Show.

    In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk to Diana Glyer, author of Bandersnatch: C.S. Lewis, J.R.R. Tolkien, and the Creative Collaboration of the Inklings.. She has spent 40 years combing through archives, studying old manuscripts, and is considered a leading expert on C.S. Lewis and J.R.R. Tolkien. Her scholarship, her teaching, and her work as an artist all circle back to one common theme: creativity thrives in community. Kyle and Ethan talk to Dr. Glyer about Tolkien, Lewis, and the creativity that can happen in a community like The Inklings.

    To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans

    Topics Discussed

    • Who were The Inklings?
    • How does Creativity thrive in community?
    • Tom Bombadil and the quiet “homely home” portions of LOTR
    • Peter Jackson’s Lord Of The Rings trilogy
    • “There are no dentists in Mordor”
    • Tolkien caused C.S. Lewis to throw Narnia in the trash at one point
    • Differences between C.S. Lewis and Tolkien
    • The Chronicles Of Narnia
    • C.S. Lewis’ journey to faith and Tolkien’s consistent prayer for his friend
    • G.K. Chesterton’s The Everlasting Man influencing Lewis
    • What was going on in the third book of Lewis’ Space Trilogy?
    • Humans being sub-creators, Mythopoeia
    • How much pipe weed did the Inklings go through?
    • What is a Bandersnatch?
    • Artists need brutally honest criticism to be better
    • Diana likes our Decaf Condemned As Heresy mugs and Mt. Writemore mugs in our store

    Subscriber Portion

    • Which of these modern writers make it into The Inklings or have been promptly kicked out?
    • The Chronicles of Narnia movies
    • How well did Christopher Tolkien manage to expand his father’s work?
    • Amazon’s Lord of the Rings series gets the Game of Thrones treatment
    • The Hobbit movies
    • Drama and conflicts in The Inklings
    • Dyson is the Yoko of the group
    • The Ten Questions

    Merriam-Webster Gaslighting/Orange Ball Worship/What Voters Deserve News Show 10.16.2020 Oct 16, 2020

    This is the Babylon Bee Weekly News Podcast for the week of 10/16/2020.

    In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk about the week’s biggest stories like ACB using a crucifix to defend herself from the Senate, Los Angeles allowing a large religious gathering after the Lakers win, and Biden telling voters they don’t deserve to know if he will enact a glorious communist utopia if elected. Kyle and Ethan also talk about the angry comments on the New York Times piece on The Babylon Bee and how dictionaries now are engaging in gaslighting the populace.

    Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

    To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans.

    Introduction

    Welcome to The Babylon Bee where we talk about the news and have an animation playlist on YouTube...

    Stuff That’s Good

    Kyle likes Stephen King’s On Writing.

    Ethan likes Gran Torino.

    Weird News

    Herd of charging cows in England kill second man in month

    • Police are looking for witnesses to help with the investigation in who’s causing the charging cows

    Thai hotel seeks deal with guest facing jail over bad reviews

    • Thailand’s criminal defamation and computer crimes acts, he could be fined up to 100,000 baht ($3,200) as well as facing jail time.
    • Reviewer said he was mad about a 500 baht ($16) corkage fee

    Reporter confronts aggressive raccoon outside White House

    • The incident was not the first confrontation between the media and racoons at the White House.
    • Reporter quoted “Frickin’ raccoons, man. God, again! This is the second time! Jesus...It always comes around right around when I’m about to go on TV...get!

    Ex-jail employees charged for playing ‘Baby Shark’ on repeat

    • Jail employees forced inmates to stand handcuffed for hours and listen to “Baby Shark” on repeat

    Stories of the Week

    Story 1

    Democrats Hiss In Terror As ACB Pulls Out Crucifix

    Summary: Amy Coney Barrett has eloquently defended herself through the Senate confirmation hearings this morning. But as Dems grew increasingly vicious, she was forced to turn to desperate measures. After several hours of hearings, Barrett pulled out a large crucifix and held it aloft. A light shone from the heavens, and the Democrats knew they were defeated.

    • ACB took questions beginning Monday from the Senate about her judicial philosophy of originalism and how she would decide on cases related to the Affordable Care Act (Obamacare) and Roe V Wade.
    • "I've made no commitment to anyone, not in this Senate, not over in the White House, about how I would decide any case,” said Judge Amy Coney Barrett “I’m not willing to make a deal, not with this committee, not with the President.”
    • Sen. Mazie Hirono asks ACB "since you became a legal adult, have you ever made unwanted requests for sexual favors or committed any verbal or physical harassment or assault of a sexual nature?"
    • @Erikrosalesnews tweeted: What is so amazing, Judge Amy Coney Barrett is testifying with only a small note pad and a pencil. She is a former law professor who is often correcting Senators on the details of the cases headed to the Supreme Court. She is schooling lawmakers.
    • When she was confirmed as a Federal judge 3 years ago, Sen. Diane Feinstein said, “The dogma lives loudly with you.”
    • The new Dem talking point is to scream loudly about Court Packing which nominating ACB is not. Here’s Dan Rather to illustrate.

    Story 2

    L.A. Mayor Allows Large Religious Gathering Outside Staples Center

    Summary: Los Angeles Mayor Eric Garcetti, having opposed large religious gatherings in his city for the past 7 months, has suddenly reversed course, allowing a large worship service to take place in the streets of the city last night. Despite the ban on religious gatherings, the worshipers came together to honor their god, LeBron James, in a spontaneous outpouring of love and praise. Worshipers in this religion, rather than singing songs or saying prayers, topple cars and throw things at the police.

    • Mayor Garcetti and Governor Gavin Newsom have famously been harassing churches that try to meet in defiance of the social distancing rules like Grace Community Church and John MacArthur
    • They seemingly have no problem with BLM/ANTIFA marches and now everyone massing in the streets to celebrate the Lakers winning the NBA championship
    • Did anyone watch it? There’s no salvaging these awful NBA Finals ratings

    Story 3

    Biden: 'I Won't Reveal Whether I Plan On Abolishing The Constitution And Establishing A Glorious Communist Utopia Until After I'm Elected'

    Summary: Joe Biden was asked yet again today if he plans to abolish the Constitution, overthrow Congress, dismiss the Supreme Court, and set up a Communist regime to take their place. Once again, Biden refused to answer the question, saying voters will find out whether he plans to seize the means of production and institute a one-party rule, U.S.S.R.-style.

    "Look, if I tell you whether or not I plan to institute a new Communist order, establishing a glorious worker-led revolution that will lead us out of this capitalistic nightmare and into a paradisical utopia, that would become the headline," Biden said. "That would be playing Trump's game. So I'm not going to say whether I support this great idea."

    • Joe Biden and Kamala Harris have been dodging the question of whether they would consider packing the Supreme Court
    • Biden says voters don’t deserve to know his position on court-packing.

    Topic of the Week: Even the dictionaries are beginning to gaslight people. The dictionary changed a word because of a moment at the ACB SCOTUS hearing to make something she said “offensive.”

    • Kyle’s Orwell tweet about the definition being changed in a day to make ‘sexual preference’ defined as ‘offensive

    Hate Mail

    Sit back for these awesome comments to the recent NYT mostly peaceful piece on The Babylon Bee. Their readers were not happy.

    Subscriber Portion

    Kyle and Ethan talk about peanuts and a terrible yard sign you’ve probably seen around town.


    Greg Koukl Talks Owning Atheist Celebrities/Converting Lady Gaga/20th Century Horrors Oct 13, 2020

    Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

    This is the Babylon Bee Interview Show.

    In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan welcome back Christian apologist Greg Koukl of Stand To Reason. He is the author of Tactics and The Story of Reality. They analyze celebrity quotes about God and religion, discuss the horrors of the 20th century world wars, and reveal how Greg would convert Lady Gaga in 30 seconds using his tactics. They also get into the concept of “wokeness” and how awful a lot of modern worship songs really are.

    To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans.

    Topics Discussed

    • The Greg Koukl Vs. Deepak Chopra faceoff
    • Celebrity quotes about God (Woody Allen, Penn Jillette, Ricky Gervais, H.P. Lovecraft, Lady Gaga)
    • Running the Gauntlet
    • Douglas Axe’s book Undeniable
    • The Strawman Fallacy
    • Religion causing more war than atheism?
    • Lenin, Stalin, Mao, and Hitler
    • Indoctrination and reading non-Christian books
    • Illiberal bullying and bludgeoning
    • Christian schools excluding non-Christians
    • ‘Practical suicide’ (Being what you condemn)
    • “LGBTQ Christians”
    • Converting Lady Gaga in 30 seconds using Tactics
    • Critical Race Theory infiltrating the church
    • Intersectionality and social justice
    • Greg’s book Tactics
    • Greg’s book The Story of Reality

    Subscriber Portion

    • Stephen Colbert and atheists/agnostics
    • Jordan Peterson’s tactics on this interview
    • On not being good enough or virtuous enough to become a Christian?
    • What the Bible says about “wokeness”
    • Subscriber-submitted questions
    • Is God’s love reckless? And other thoughts on modern worship songs
    • Miscellaneous heresies
    • The Ten Questions

    Get Dead Soon/Fact Checks/Bee Kid Pitches News Show 10.9.2020 Oct 09, 2020

    This is the Babylon Bee Weekly News Podcast for the week of 10/9/2020.

    Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

    In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk about the week’s biggest stories like Democrats hoping Trump “gets dead soon” after coming down with coronavirus, USA Today keeping the internet safe from satire, and Bee kids sending The Babylon Bee their best headline pitches. Kyle and Ethan also talk about murderous witches, Satanic billboards, and fat bears and get a chance to speak with filmmaker Matt Chastain about his new movie Small Group.

    Introduction

    Kyle hatches a scheme to fly across the country to be with his family and Kyle and Ethan discuss how kids age a parent.

    Stuff That’s Good

    Kyle likes his son’s YouTube channel Punk Rock Kid

    Ethan likes Brian Regan

    Weird News

    • Teen secures record for world's longest female legs
      • She is from Texas, 17 years old, 6’10” and has the longest legs record but not tallest woman (who happens to be 7’3” from Russia)
      • Taller than Doug TenNapel
    • Palm tree takes trimmer for wild ride high over the ground
      • A tree trimmer in California went for a wild ride on a tall palm tree when cutting the fronds free caused the tree trunk to whip upright from a bent-over position.
    • Man puts 125 scoops on an ice cream cone for world record
      • The 125 scoops were balanced on a single waffle cone
    • US jails man who bought Lamborghini with government loan
      • He took out a 1.6 million dollar loan from the government for coronavirus lockdown aid and got noticed when he spent 200 grand on the car.
    • Accused Killer Convinced Her Tinder Date to Join Murderous Coven of Witches
      • The couple accused of fatally strangling 24-year-old Sydney Loofe after wooing her on a dating app allegedly convinced at least one other Tinder date that they controlled a coven of witches who gained their powers by killing people.
      • “To get your power, you have to breathe in their last breath,” a witness, referred to on the stand as A.H., testified
    • Satanic Temple Sues Billboard Company for Declining Abortion ‘Religious Ritual’ Advertisements
      • They’re trying to argue their religious freedom demands their right to an abortion and are suing the billboard company for religious discrimination for not putting up their billboard
    • Fat Bear Week 2020 crowns chunkster "Earl of Avoirdupois" as fattest bear
      • Each week people had to vote between two bears on who they think is the fattest in a bracket
      • The winner was 1400 pounds roughly

    Kindergarten teacher gets fired for tattooing his eyeballs black

    • Kindergarten teacher has spent 450 hours under the tattoo gun and still teaches ages 6 and up. Check out the picture!

    Stories of the Week

    Story 1

    Trump’s Hospital Room Flooded With 'Get Dead Soon' Cards From Democrats

    Summary: It’s been a trying time for the country and President Donald Trump as he has been stuck at Walter Reed Medical Center trying to get better. Keeping Trump company is a flood of cards from Democrats wishing him to “Get dead soon.”

    “I hope you die!”, “You deserve this!”, and “I want you to die and go to hell -- Russian hell!” read some of the cards sent by poor-wishers, cards that now decorate the president's room. Such cards have become so popular that Hallmark has added a “For Sick Presidents You Don’t Like” section, including some humorous ones where a cartoon cat dances on Trump’s grave.

    • Trump got COVID, so did a bunch of people at the White House.
    • Media seemed pretty pumped that the President could die on Friday when it was announced that he has contracted the virus
    • Trump walked himself to the helicopter on the White House lawn to go to the hospital “out of an abundance of caution”
    • He posted several photos and videos over the weekend showing him working and thanking his supporters. Internet conspiracies went nuts about reflections on the table in the photos, the timestamps in the exif data, Trump seemingly signing a blank piece of paper i.e. “He staged these photos! He’s not working or he doesn’t have COVID!”
    • The Media and bluecheck types seemed to either think Trump was faking COVID or was covering up how bad his situation was.
    • Trump rode around in an SUV to thank gathered supporters and wave
    • Trump was released from the hospital Monday.

    Story 2

    Governor Whitmer Refuses To Throw Ring Of Power Back Into Fires Of Mount Doom

    Summary: In legal news, a Michigan Supreme Court has ordered Governor Gretchen Whitmer to throw the Ring of Power, which she has wielded to enact tyrannical coronavirus restrictions upon her citizens, back into the fires of Mount Doom.

    "Nooo! Not my precious!" Whitmer screamed as the state Supreme Court handed down the order to destroy the Ring. "Nasty, nasty Constitution! We don't likes it! Nasty, fat Founding Fathers!" She turned and left.

    • The court ruled 4-3 that Whitmer's decision to declare a state of emergency without approval from state legislators was unconstitutional
    • She could declare a state of emergency but must get approval for extension "after 28 days” according to the law
    • The plaintiffs in the case were health care providers who could not perform “nonessential” medical procedures due to the extension
    • Also Mentioned: Go to our Youtube Channel and check out a music video that seemed like it came out forever ago.

    Story 3

    USA Today Publishes Fact-Check On Whether A Priest, A Rabbi, And A Minister Really Walked Into A Bar Together

    Summary: After hearing someone tell a questionable story about how a priest, a rabbi, and a minister walked into a bar together, USA Today published a 1,200-word fact check on the tall tale. Citing over 15 sources to cast doubt on the story, USA Today handily dismantled the fib.

    • The Babylon Bee ran this story: Genius Trump Nominates Joe Biden To Supreme Court Forcing Dems To Accuse Him Of Sexual Assault
    • USA TODAY actually fact checked this article with their story: Fact check: False claim suggesting Trump nominated Biden to the Supreme Court started out as satire
    • They also fact checked Ninth Circuit Court Overturns Death Of Ruth Bader Ginsburg
    • How many sources did they use to show this was factually inaccurate, morally true?

    Topic of the Week:

    Christians making movies with Small Group Director Matt Chastain.

    Also we asked subscribers to Send Us The Best Headline Pitches From Your Kids.

    Hate Mail

    We got a comment about the quiet man in plaid and the liberal in the Legend of Zelda t-shirt.

    Subscriber Portion

    MAILBAG

    Sarah sends us a message asking about whether or not every Christian ought to have a “road to Damascus” conversion moment or a sense that “God told me” to know which way to go in life.

    To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans


    Kevin Sorbo Talks Being A Conservative Christian in Hollywood Oct 06, 2020

    This is The Babylon Bee Interview Show.

    Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

    In this episode, Kyle and Ethan talk to Kevin Sorbo. An outspoken actor, producer, and director, Kevin is perhaps best known for playing Hercules and, in Christian circles, for playing the angry atheist professor in God’s Not Dead. Kevin and his wife Sam have a new book together called True Faith: Embracing Adversity to Live in God's Light. Kyle and Ethan talk to Kevin about how he found true strength after suffering a stroke, married the Golden Hind, and now works to make movies that aren’t just for Christian audiences, but for everyone.

    Topics Discussed

    • Golfing with Donald Trump and Jesse Ventura
    • Hercules being the top show on television
    • Having a stroke and going from Hercules to mere mortal
    • Kull The Conqueror
    • Don’t go to Dr. Die or Dr. Slaughter
    • Writing True Strength and becoming a speaker
    • Kissing stunt doubles
    • Conservative, Christian heterosexual and looking for work in Hollywood
    • Protect the sea turtle eggs, abort the fetuses?
    • Kevin is working on a new show The World According To Billy Potwin
    • Making movies that aren’t just for one audience
    • Sorbo’s other recent work: Let There Be Light, What If…, God’s Not Dead, Miracle In East Texas
    • Mask politics
    • ANTIFA
    • Marrying the Golden Hind
    • Disappointed!
    • Hercules crew working on LOTR
    • Bad TV props
    • True Faith

    Subscriber Portion

    • Kevin Sorbo gives more juicy Hollywood stories
    • What not to call your wife when she’s pregnant
    • Before The Wrath
    • Kyle and Ethan pitch Kevin Sorbo on some Christian movies that must be made
    • Walking Tall: Lone Justice and Walking Tall: The Payback
    • Hollywood regrets and frustrations
    • The Ten Questions

    To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans.


    Dumpster Fire Debate/ACB Blood Cult/Smart People Don’t Pay Taxes News Show 10.2.2020 Oct 02, 2020

    This is the Babylon Bee Weekly News Podcast for the week of 10/2/2020.

    In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk about the week’s biggest stories like it being revealed by the corporate press that Amy Coney Barrett is part of some weird religious cult that drinks blood, the nation’s libertarians cheering Trump’s smart avoidance of Federal theft, and a state without electricity now demanding everyone buy an electric car. Kyle and Ethan also react to the dumpster fire that is our nation’s presidential debate. Buckle your Chesterbelts, it’s another Babylon Bee News Show.

    Introduction

    Ethan wants face foam and Kyle visited Texas for The Texan’s Night With The Babylon Bee.

    Stuff That’s Good

    Kyle likes Stryper - Even the Devil Believes.

    Ethan likes BREAKDOWN with Kurt Russell.

    Weird News

    • Coronavirus: Half a million sharks may be killed for virus vaccine
    • Romanian mayor wins landslide re-election two weeks after death
    • Bear with three legs steals Diet Coke from Florida garage
    • Turkey crashes through window into Virginia home
    • Couple win $100,100 in two-day lottery winning streak
    • Man died from eating excessive amounts of black licorice
    • Bengal govt releases obit for its ‘alive and healthy’ minister

    Stories of the Week

    Story 1

    CNN Reports Amy Coney Barrett Attended Bizarre Ceremony Where She Ate Flesh, Drank Blood Of Jewish Guy

    Summary: In a disturbing new report, CNN has revealed the bizarre practices of the strange cult Amy Coney Berrett belongs to. Known to some as "Christendom," it features many ancient rituals that were recorded by undercover CNN journalists at a strange stone building on Sunday where the ceremonies were held. Secret cameras showed Amy Coney Barrett kneeling before a priest-type figure as he recited some kind of incantation in a dead tongue. The priest then held up a round wafer and a goblet of red liquid which he announced to be the true body and blood of a Jewish rabbi who died 2000 years ago.They then brought a newborn baby to a basin of water and attempted to drown it.

    • Both Are In The Same Church, But Media Love Joe Biden’s Faith And Hate Amy Coney Barrett’s
    • She has 7 children, 2 adopted Haitan children. Some people call that potentially problematic like Director Of Antiracist Research @ Boston University Ibram X. Kendi (TIME lists him in the top 100 most influential ppl…) saying White colonizers ‘adopted’ blacks and ‘civilized’ them to use as props..
    • She belongs to a charismatic Catholic church called “People of Praise”
    • Newsweek published and then “corrected” a headline stating that her church inspired The Handmaid's Tale
    • What options do Dems have? They don’t have the votes and there might be backlash if they are seen as attacking successful bright mother of 7

    Story 2

    Libertarian Voters Flock To Trump After Learning He Avoided Paying Taxes

    Summary: Trump is polling high among an unexpected group: libertarians, who were energized and drawn to Trump's cause after the New York Times revealed that he paid as little as $750 in federal taxes some years.

    • The NYT published last Sunday twenty years of back tax returns after some anonymous bureaucrat leaked it showing “chronic losses and years of tax avoidance”
    • Within 4 hours Biden had a video ad attack the info contained in the leak
    • It is illegal for the IRS to leak the personal tax returns of any individual. The Times is guarding its sources closely.
    • Trump bragged in 2016 at debates that he paid the least amount of taxes that he legally could. “That makes me smart,” he said in a debate with Hillary.

    Story 3

    State With No Electricity Orders Everyone To Drive Cars That Run On Electricity

    Summary: California, a state with no electricity, has ordered everyone to drive cars that run on electricity. Well, how dya like that

    • California to ban all new gas-powered cars by 2035 under order by Gov. Gavin Newsom
    • This doesn’t require a bill to be passed into law??? Gavin just decided this? School House Rock was a lie!

    Topic of the Week: Biden-Trump Debate Reaction

    Kyle and Ethan laugh and then cry a little when reacting to the first debate between Trump and Biden.

    Hate Mail

    Tony wants to know why it is our mission to spread misinformation and lies in this pandemic apocalyptic time and we also get accused of being “proud boy lovers”.

    Love Mail

    The people demand more animation and weird Bible stories.

    Subscriber Portion

    Kyle and Ethan talk muppets for some reason and answer an email from Holly about Kyle being such a rebel with his non-voting.

    To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans


    Seamus Coughlin Talks Shapiro Impressions/Catholicism/Crazy Libertarians Sep 29, 2020

    This is The Babylon Bee Interview Show.

    In this episode, Kyle and Ethan speak with Seamus Coughlin, who is the man behind FreedomToons and also an animator, writer, director, editor, and uncanny Ben Shapiro impersonator. Today, Seamus produces entertaining animated content for a number of outlets, and a good deal of his work can be found on the FreedomToons YouTube channel and the Foundation for Economic Education series Common Sense Soapbox with Seamus Coughlin. They talk about arson being bad, punching the Pope, and being as libertarian as the Catholic church allows.

    This episode is brought to you by Faithful Counseling. Go to faithfulcounseling.com/babylonbee for 10% off your first month.

    Topics Discussed

    • Introduction to FreedomToons: Ben Shapiro Thanksgiving
    • Seamus does an excellent Ben Shapiro and Jordan Peterson impersonation
    • Being as libertarian as the Roman Catholic church allows
    • Roman Catholic teaching on mortal and venial sins (doing drugs, punching Pope)
    • On not doing PopeToons and guarding ourselves from crossing the line
    • The bizarre defense of arson
    • How Seamus got into animation to begin with
    • Being politically homeless
    • Bernie Sanders giving the Establishment what they want
    • Jordan Peterson tells us who would win between Donald Trump and a lobster
    • Churchill wasn’t antifascist enough
    • Ethan recommends Jonah Goldberg’s The Tyranny of Clichés
    • The need for art in the right-of-center political sphere
    • The creativity crunch that produced Right Wing Agitators
    • Bill Watterson’s Calvin & Hobbes
    • Explicitly Christian art vs. implicit themes and bad Christian art

    Subscriber Portion

    • On being a Russian bot
    • YouTube’s relationship with conservative creators
    • Weird google search results
    • Russia and China
    • Abortion so nobody lives in poverty
    • The Rubin Report
    • PragerU is not a real university
    • South Park, The Simpsons, Family Guy
    • Snopes attacking The Babylon Bee and the pros and cons of internet fact checkers
    • The Ten Questions

    To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans


    LeBron In Lace/1619 Project/Demons And Ghosts News Show 9.25.2020 Sep 25, 2020

    This is the Babylon Bee Weekly News Podcast for the week of 9/25/2020.

    In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk about the week’s biggest stories like the NBA’s heartwarming tribute to Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Donald Trump ordering all the nation’s schools to show the movie ‘Top Gun’ daily instead of 1619 Project materials, and how 95% of evangelicals don’t believe in God, the Bible, or Jesus. Kyle and Ethan also talk to demon and ghost investigator Billy Hallowell about demon possessions, infestations, and what happens when you use that Ouija board.

    Billy Hallowell’s new book is available now: Playing with Fire: A Modern Investigation into Demons, Exorcism, and Ghosts.

    This episode is brought to you by Faithful Counseling. Go to faithfulcounseling.com/babylonbee for 10% off your first month.

    Introduction

    Kyle got kicked off Twitter for being a bot apparently and the guys and report live from Moscow.

    Stuff That’s Good

    Kyle likes the Dune audiobook

    Ethan likes Scythian (the band).

    Weird News

    • Trump or Biden? Peruvian shamans try to predict U.S. election winner
    • Belgian city finds its former mayor's heart in a fountain
    • D.C. police wanted to use a HEAT RAY on protesters! (NTB)
    • German soccer team loses 37-0 after social distancing on the field (NTB)
    • Watch: Man spotted wearing live snake as a mask on city bus

    Stories of the Week

    Story 1: NBA Players Wear Special Lace Collars To Honor Ruth Bader Ginsburg

    Summary: NBA players are honoring the life of Ruth Bader Ginsburg this week by wearing pretty lace collars just like Notorious RBG used to wear

    • Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg died September 18, 2020, at the age of 87, from complications of metastatic pancreatic cancer
    • She became known as a leftist icon and dubbed The Notorious RBG by a law student (like the rapper The Notorious B.I.G.)
    • Bill Clinton nominated her to SCOTUS 1993 (Bill was elected with 43% of popular vote in 1992)
    • She became known as a liberal wing of the court and argued for gender equality and women’s “rights”
    • Her death is right up on the election, leftist celebrities and media types like Reza Azlan are doubling down on threatening to burn everything down to the ground if the Republicans “ram” through a judge
    • Romney said he would not block the vote and would vote based on the merits of the nominee, and that Trump as President can constitutionally nominate and the Senate can give advice and consent. This comes amid calls of hypocrisy since in 2016 the Republican led Senate blocked a vote on Merrick Garland nominated by Barack Obama.
    • Trump has promised to nominate a woman. Because that’s important for some reason.
    • Lefty types on Twitter seem to think this article was real. Really.

    Story 2

    Trump Orders Schools To Replace Anti-American Curriculum With Daily Viewings Of 'Top Gun'

    Summary: In what many are calling the most popular Executive Order of all time, President Trump has ordered public schools to stop teaching anti-American history classes, replacing them all with daily viewings of Top Gun.

    • Trump issued an executive order to stop federal agencies from using Critical Race Theory in their training materials and two weeks later says he will issue an Executive Order to fight critical race theory and 1619 project style curriculum in local schools across the nation
    • Trump Launches 'Patriotic Education’ Commission, Calls 1619 Project 'Ideological Poison’
    • Trump’s executive order was met with fierce backlash from commentators, who recognized it as authoritarian; New York Times opinion columnist Farhad Manjoo tweeted, “Kim Jong Un wasn’t writing him love letters, it was an instructional manual.”
    • Culturally, this is one of the more important things Trump has done

    Story 3

    Survey Finds 95% Of Evangelicals Don't Believe In God, Bible, Jesus

    Summary: A new study has found that 95% of evangelicals don’t believe in God, the Bible, or Jesus.

    • Ligonier released their annual ‘State Of Theology” polling data and it’s not looking good:
    • What do Americans believe about God, salvation, ethics, and the Bible? Ligonier Ministries and LifeWay Research partnered to find out.
    • 51% of US adults and 32% of evangelicals say “Jesus was a good teacher, but was not God”
    • 63% US Adults/46% of evangelicals believe God accepts the worship of all religions
    • 55%U.S. Adults/56% of evangelicals believe “Jesus is the first and greatest being created by God”
    • 59% US adults/51% evangelicals agree with “The Holy Spirit is a force, but not a personal being.”
    • 46% evangelicals agree with “Worshiping alone or with one’s family is a valid replacement for regularly attending church.
    • 31% evangelicals agree with, “Churches must provide entertaining worship services if they want to be effective.”
    • 24% evangelicals agree with, “Gender identity is a matter of choice.”
    • 18% evangelicals agree with, “The Bible’s condemnation of homosexual behavior doesn’t apply today.”

    Topic of the Week: Billy Hallowell’s Playing with Fire: A Modern Investigation into Demons, Exorcism, and Ghosts

    • The world — and the church — sometimes tends to avoid or ignore the topic of demons and spiritual warfare
    • The issue of source credibility
    • Documented cases
    • Things Hollywoods gets wrong
    • Christians- how to respond to demons

    Hate Mail

    We get a text message that we don't disagree with.

    Subscriber Portion

    Kyle and Ethan continue their talk with Billy Hallowell on specific crazy cases of demon and ghost stories and give him The Ten Questions.


    Michael Malice Talks Cuties/Conspiracy Theories/Boomercons Sep 22, 2020

    This is The Babylon Bee Interview Show.

    In this episode of The Babylon Bee Interview Show, Kyle and Ethan welcome back again The Bee’s favorite anarchist troll: Michael Malice, the author of Dear Reader and The New Right and host of "YOUR WELCOME" and Night Shade. They discuss the new Netflix movie that sexualizes children, which conspiracy theories are aging better than others, and how the depravity and malfeasance of the corporate press is without cessation. You can get more Michael Malice on YouTube, Twitter and Locals.

    You can catch Michael’s previous appearances on The Babylon Bee Podcast here and here.

    Topics Discussed

    • The sexualization of children, ‘Cuties’, and the “enemy class (Mainstream figures defending Cuties)
    • Power elites caught up in the Epstein scandal
    • Conspiracy theories like QAnon, PizzaGate, RussiaGate and all the other Gates
    • Public schools/homeschooling
    • People who collect jars of urine
    • Going back to cassette tapes over CDs
    • The case of Breonna Taylor and the ethics of No Knock style raids
    • Meth in energy drinks and drug cartel leaders not names “El Guapo”
    • Ethan solves the prison overcrowding problem
    • The Crossfit CEO situation
    • We all need the space suits from Aliens with light up helmets going forward
    • Government overreach to do anything to solve a problem and not worry about the unintended consequences
    • Internet search engines and mainstream press making it impossible to find alternative views
    • American propaganda using celebrities like the cringe New York PSA
    • Jim Gaffigan’s twitter rant about Trump
    • Donating to Biden’s campaign for the comedy
    • Conservatives, libertarians, conservatarians, and the essence of the boomercon

    Subscriber Portion

    • George W Bush was not a Jr.
    • Anarchist cliches
    • Underground libertarian parties
    • Why did Christ have to die?
    • “Losers and suckers” of World War I?
    • Edibles
    • Going to war against Japan in World War II
    • Appealing to standards of objective morality
    • The NEW Ten Questions and they’re a bit more intense
    • Also mentioned: Our Birthday Present To Michael Malice.

    To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans


    Puppy Murder/Threatening Riots/Weird Bible Stories News Show 9.18.2020 Sep 18, 2020

    This is the Babylon Bee Weekly News Podcast for the week of 9/18/2020.

    In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk about the week’s biggest stories like how Netflix is putting out films to show how bad something is by having actors do that thing, Democrats are threatening chaos and death if they don’t get their way in November, and a woman is marrying a tree. Kyle and Ethan do a rundown of the most weird stories of the Bible and come up with great band names like Stabbing Eglon.

    Introduction

    Welcome to The Babylon Bee, the only podcast on the internet where two pasty white guys tell you what they think about politics.

    Kyle has a church visit horror story.

    Stuff That’s Good

    Kyle LOVES They Shall Not Grow Old - 2018 documentary by Peter Jackson featuring restored and colorized footage of World War I. No narrator, no framing, no commentary, just audio of actual World War I vets over the footage. Very few historical details, just the soldiers’ experiences. An incredibly moving film.

    Ethan likes Norm MacDonald’s Based On a True Story Audiobook.

    BEARS WANT TO KILL YOU IS BACK

    Weird News

    • Zoo's sloths appear to kiss on camera in first encounter
    • Watch: Bear nudges Massachusetts man napping by backyard pool
    • Man beats his own record after sitting in tub of ice for over two hours
    • Man breaks into home and poops in dishwasher
    • 'Tropical' bird turns out to be a seagull someone dyed electric blue
    • Mum-of-two who married a tree celebrates their first wedding anniversary
    • Virginia man gets permission to be buried in Juicy Fruit-themed casket

    Stories of the Week

    New Netflix Movie Actually Murders Puppies To Teach That Murdering Puppies Is Bad

    Democrats Reveal They Have Planted Dynamite All Around Nation And Will Blow It Up If Biden Isn't Elected

    Summary: Democrats are offering their most persuasive case yet for Biden's election claiming that ‘A Vote for Trump is a vote for more violence’. They said if Biden is not elected president they will detonate a series of explosives and millions will die.

    • From Shadi Hamid at the Atlantic “A loss by Joe Biden under these circumstances is the worst case not because Trump will destroy America (he can’t), but because it is the outcome most likely to undermine faith in democracy, resulting in more of the social unrest and street battles that cities including Portland, Oregon, and Seattle have seen in recent months. For this reason, strictly law-and-order Republicans who have responded in dismay to scenes of rioting and looting have an interest in Biden winning—even if they could never bring themselves to vote for him.”

    Academy Strips 'Schindler's List' Of Best Picture Award Due To Lack Of Diversity

    Summary: Schindler’s List is considered to be one of the greatest films about the holocaust and man’s ability to do good in the midst of evil-- well until now. The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences recently ruled that films without representation from LGBTQ+ characters, people of color, and other oppressed groups would not be eligible to win Oscars. Sorry Schindler’s List!

    • According to The Academy’s new Best Picture rules—which go into full effect in 2024—films must meet at least two of four new standards that stipulate roles both onscreen and behind the scenes be filled by people from underrepresented groups, including race, women, LGBTQ and people with cognitive or physical disabilities, including the deaf and hard of hearing.
    • Who says they decide what the best picture is? “You can’t be the best unless you follow our rules” sounds like playground talk.
    • Among the critics was actress Kirstie Alley, who didn’t mince words: “The new RULES to qualify for ‘best picture’ are dictatorial…anti-artist…Hollywood you’re swinging so far left you’re bumping into your own a**.”
    • It’s almost as if the racists are suggesting the criteria for best picture should be that it was a picture and it was the best one.
    • Movies are one of the great ways to see into another culture and understand them better. Cultures should get their own films.

    Topic of the Week: Weird Bible Stories

    There are a ton of beautiful, inspiring stories in the Bible. We all know about those ones. But there’s also a lot of weird stuff. Some nasty stuff too.

    • The Bible shows us a true picture of reality, including the sad and horrific stuff, as well as the bizarre stuff no one can explain.
    • Why do you think we shy away from telling these stories?
    • Why do you think they’re in the Bible?
    • Jael and the Tent stake (Judges 4:9-22)
    • Elisha and the she-bears (2 Kings 2:23-24)
    • Balam’s talking donkey (Numbers 22:21-39)
    • Stabbing Eglon (Judges 3:12-30)
    • Ezekiel baking bread over poo (Ezekiel 4:9)
    • God tells prophet Hosea to marry the prostitute Gomer (Hosea 1)
    • Nebuchadnezzar cursed to eat grass for 7 years (Daniel 4)
    • Elijah mocking the prophets of Ba’al- “Maybe your god is on the toilet!” (1 Kings 18)
    • Guy who fell asleep during a sermon and fell out the window (Acts 20:7-12)
    • Actually did a Bee article about this
    • Paul resurrected him!
    • Jesus letting the demons go into the herd of pigs (Luke 8:26-39)
    • Jesus curses the fig tree (Mark 11:12-25)

    Hate Mail

    We always get great hate mail.

    Enjoy our latest animation: Better Cops! (Also watch it here on our YouTube channel and SUBSCRIBE!)

    Subscriber Portion

    Kyle and Ethan dive into the mailbag to answer questions from subscribers about tattoos and reading books.

    To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans.


    Sam Sorbo Talks Home Education/15-Passenger Vans and Denim Jumpers/Public School Failures Sep 15, 2020

    This is The Babylon Bee Interview Show.

    In this episode, Kyle and Ethan talk to Sam Sorbo, who is a major advocate for home education in a time when many people are starting to look at it as an alternative in an age of virtual schooling, pandemic lockdowns, and kindergartners doing 2 hour zoom meetings. Her books include They’re Your Kids: An Inspirational Journey From Self- Doubter To Home School Advocate and Teach From Love: A School Year Devotional For Families. Her new book, with her husband Kevin, is True Faith: Embracing Adversity to Live in God's Light. She is also the host of The Sam Sorbo Podcast.

    Topics Discussed

    • Public schools not serving our kids
    • Virtual schooling and pandemic lockdowns
    • Parents ceding authority to the school
    • Children lecturing parents
    • The purpose of education
    • Education as daycare
    • School doesn’t take 7-½ hours a day
    • What about college?
    • Does college tuition make sense?
    • Teachers concerned about parents getting in the way with their “racism” and backwards views
    • Aren’t homeschoolers weird?
    • Bullies teaching kids not to bully and in our culture nowadays bullying seems to be fine anyway
    • Common core math and the 1619 Project
    • “Homeschooling is not ‘school at home.’ It is the education of your child. They are two different beasts.”

    To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans.


    Anonymous Sources/Demon Bread/Weird Christian Videos News Show 9.11.2020 Sep 14, 2020

    This is The Babylon Bee Weekly News Show for the week of 9/11/2020.

    In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk about the week’s biggest stories like California’s progressive green energy grid leading the nation in brownouts, anonymous sources totally confirming that Trump punched a baby, and a man blowing up his house in an attempt to swat a fly. Kyle and Ethan also dig into the video archives to find really weird videos from Christian music and educational programming to talk about how weird they are. For example, why is that loaf of bread talking to us?

    Intro

    Kyle and Ethan discuss September 11 and Frank J. Fleming’s Superego: Fathom Audible release.

    Stuff That’s Good

    Kyle likes the video game Fall Guys.

    Ethan likes a Youtube Channel called Corridor Crew.

    Weird News

    • Beer made with whale testicle and sheep dung among exhibits at 'disgusting' booze museum
    • The Swedish museum says people can be "very desperate to get drunk" and in such a situation become "quite inventive"
    • Other gross brews: wine fermented in a prison toilet, a spit-fermented cornmeal beer from Peru, a Ugandan gin made from fermented bananas, and an ancient Korean beverage fermented from children's faeces and rice, which was thought to be medicinal in the past. There is also a strong Scottish brew served from the mouth of a taxidermied squirrel.
    • Anheuser-Busch's non-alcoholic 'Dog Brew' quickly sells out
    • Why not feed the dogs the whale testicle beer
    • Doctors pull 4ft snake from woman’s throat after it slithered in as she slept
    • Doctors remove 15lb ball of hair from teenager’s stomach
    • Residents rescue donkey with plastic chair stuck around its head
    • Goat hops into deputy's car, chews on civil papers, head butts officer
    • Man, 80, blows up his kitchen while trying to swat a fly

    Stories of the Week

    Governor Newsom Claims Rolling Blackouts Are To Show Support For Black Lives Matter

    Summary: California has been experiencing blackouts across the state. While many thought the blackouts were due to poor planning and unrealistic green energy requirements, Governor Gavin Newsom clarified that he ordered the blackouts as a powerful display supporting BLM.

    • CA passed AB-32 in 2006 which basically says the state should be half green energy by 2025.
    • CA currently is about 30% powered by wind and solar (mostly solar)
    • During heatwaves there is no wind, and at night there is no sun, so at night, CA loses nearly 30% of its energy.
    • SCIENCE!

    'Humans Are Basically Good,' Says Man Who Has Never Met A 3-Year-Old

    Summary: Local man Chad Bruner says he believes all humans are born good, that altruism is man’s natural state, and that it is society and parenting that corrupts them. Incidentally, Bruner had no younger siblings, no kids of his own, not even any nephews or nieces or even some neighbor kids. When asked ‘Have you ever even met a three year old once in your life?” he answered no.

    Anonymous White House Source Claims Trump Punched A Baby

    Summary: According to an anonymous source in the White House, President Trump shocked aides and other staffers last year when he lost his temper and punched a baby in the face.

    • The Atlantic published a piece saying that Trump called the dead soldiers in a war “losers.”
    • When [John] McCain died, in August 2018, Trump told his senior staff, according to three sources with direct knowledge of this event, 'We're not going to support that loser's funeral,' and he became furious, according to witnesses, when he saw flags lowered to half-staff. 'What the f--- are we doing that for? Guy was a f---ing loser,' the president told aides."
    • Trump and many from the White House staff have forcibly denied the allegations published in The Atlantic on Thursday, alleging, according to four unnamed sources, that the president referred to dead soldiers buried at the Aisne-Marne American cemetery near Paris as "suckers" and that the land was "filled with losers" during his visit to France in 2018.
    • People present came out and said it didn’t happen, including our favorite walrus, John Bolton.

    Topic of the Week

    The Babylon Bee Writers React to Weird Christian Videos

    Jesus is a Friend of Mine

    Third Eagle of the Apocalypse

    The Renewed Mind Is The Key

    Carman - A Witch’s Invitation

    Creepy bread loaf at minute 1:50

    Hate Mail

    Young earth creationists send in some hate over our recent interview and some guy wrote us to make sure we knew that Trump did not punch that baby.

    Subscriber Portion

    Calvin H. sent in audio and wants to know from Kyle what a libertarian America would look like and the guys tell more stories about crazy stuff that neighbors and family friends have done to them.

    To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans.


    A.L. Van Den Herik Talks Female Apologists/Riding Dinosaurs/Arguments For Faith Sep 08, 2020

    This is The Babylon Bee Interview Show.

    In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk to A. L. Van Den Herik who is the author of a new book called The Shortest Leap: The Rational Underpinnings of Faith in Jesus. This is a great dialogue about the historical, rational, and scientific arguments for Christianity and how a person decides to become a Christian.They discuss whether a woman can write an apologetics book, break Ethan’s brain with Einstein’s law of relativity, and trigger Kyle with old earth arguments.

    Topics Discussed

    • C.S. Lewis and apologetics
    • Women writers on the Christian book scene
    • Allyson’s conversion from hardcore atheist & leftist to Christianity
    • Tarantula wasps and rabbits eating their own poop
    • Dinosaurs are cool
    • God’s wisdom in how he has revealed Himself
    • Time dilation & light speed travel or how the movie Interstellar maybe backs up the days of the Genesis creation account
    • Were all of her professors at Stanford and Berkley like Kevin Sorbo’s character in God’s Not Dead?
    • The Noah’s Ark story and did people ride dinosaurs?
    • Do people decide to be a Christian through pure reason?
    • “Christians” that don’t believe in God
    • Pagan creation, flood and resurrection myths
    • Parenting tips while working on big projects
    • Working for Rush Limbaugh
    • The Ten Questions

    To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans.


    Jetpacks Over LAX/Karate Moves In Church/Rejected Bee Headlines News Show 9.4.2020 Sep 04, 2020

    This is The Babylon Bee News Show for the week of 9/4/2020.

    This episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast is brought to you by Faithful Counseling.Go to faithfulcounseling.com/babylonbee and get 10% off your first month!

    In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk about the week’s big stories like a mysterious man with a jetpack spooking airline pilots approaching LAX, people are being karate chopped in the throat at church now, and wild bears are becoming regular customers at a convenience store. Kyle and Ethan also talk about rejected Babylon Bee headlines that for one reason or another didn’t make the cut. Also, Kyle and Ethan got turned into a cartoon and President Trump retweeted The Babylon Bee.

    Introduction

    Bee Fan Zander sent us an awesome animation of Kyle’s origin story, where Kyle discovered he had super satirical powers, and we moved to a new office!

    Stuff That’s Good

    Kyle: HOPE Coffee

    Ethan: The Monster Engine

    Weird News

    Not The Bee has hit the ground running and will definitely be our go-to place for harvesting weird real news from now on .

    • A lady got throat-chopped by another lady in a Catholic church service and I have so many questions (NTB)

    • This weird looking sheep just sold for half a million (NTB)

    • 3-year-old gets tangled in kite, literally goes flying 100 feet into the air

    • 2 airline pilots report seeing "a guy in a jetpack" flying next to them above LAX

    • Bears make repeated visits to California convenience store

    • Two large pythons crash through man's kitchen ceiling

    Stories of the Week

    Large Turnout At Memorial For Hans Gruber Who Was Thrown From A Building By A Police Officer Summary: A huge crowd turned out Sunday for the memorial service of a victim of extreme police violence, Hans Gruber. Gruber was thrown from the top floor of Nakatomi Plaza by New York police officer John McClane, which many consider one of the most excessive uses of force ever witnessed. McClane was not even in his jurisdiction at the time of the crime.

    Biden: 'If You Thought The Republican Convention Was Good, Just Wait 'Til We Have Our Convention!'

    Summary: Joe Biden conceded today that the Republican Convention was "alright," "pretty inspiring, to be honest," and "a real gas." But also said the Democratic Convention is going to be "even better” in a conversation with a department store mannequin. It was unclear how Biden got into the department store, as it's been out of business since 2013. Aides located him after they put out a Silver Alert and coaxed him into a windowless van by writing "FREE HAIR" on the side. They were then able to transport him safely back to the basement for storage until the election.

    • Trump retweeted us

    14 Mostly Accurate CNN Headlines From The Last 6,000 Years Of Human History

    Summary: CNN has been there from the beginning, always running toward the important stories and absolutely never covering them up. We went through CNN's archives and dug up these 14 headlines they published while covering some of the most significant events of human history. They are truly a bastion of truth and honesty in journalism.

    Topic of the Week

    Babylon Bee Headlines We Never Published

    Hate Mail

    We encounter another Susan out in the wild.

    Subscriber Portion

    Kyle and Ethan lead subscribers on a tour our new office, talk about their plans for growth and where things have come, They also read some more of Ethan's and Kyle's very first headlines from the early days.

    To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans.


    Andrew Klavan Talks Violence In Storytelling/Becoming Christian/Movies Ruining Movies Sep 01, 2020

    In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk to Andrew Klavan an author, screenwriter, essayist, and host of The Andrew Klavan Show at The Daily Wire. They discuss whether good storytelling requires sex & violence, movies that ruined entire movie genres, and going from secular Jew to Christian at age 49. Kyle and Ethan pitch their best movie remake ideas and they talk shop with a fellow satirist.

    Topics Discussed

    • Edgar Awards are ugly
    • Writing scripts for Hollywood
    • Going full skinhead and entering conservative media
    • Ruining a perfectly good headline [SATIRE]
    • A secular Jew becoming a Christian at age 49
    • Kyle and Ethan pitch movie ideas to Klavan that are in dire need of a remake
    • Movies that ruined movies
    • On the necessity of putting sex, cursing & violence in stories
    • Stephen King’s twitter feed
    • Behind-the-scenes Ben Shapiro stories
    • Church shopping during lockdown
    • Andrew judges some our subscriber satirical headline pitches
    • The Ten Questions

    Jerry Falwell Jr./Netflix Pervs/Top 10 Comedies News Show 8.28.2020 Aug 28, 2020

    In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk about the week’s big stories like the news surrounding Jerry Falwell Jr., Netflix trying to normalize pedophilia before celebrities get outed by Ghislaine Maxwell, and how flatulence during lockdown may be leading to a rise in elder abuse. They also do a rundown of their top ten comedy movies of all time, read some hate mail, and talk about infant baptism and lame church websites.

    Intro

    We are in The Babylon Bee Autonomous Zone and Ethan has a milestone birthday today!

    Stuff That’s Good

    Kyle likes Legend of Korra.

    Ethan likes the Richard Jewell movie directed by Clint Eastwood.

    Weird News

    • Florida woman arrested after beating her father for his flatulence
    • Colombian authorities on Tuesday arrested two Florida fugitives who are accused of selling toxic bleach as a fake coronavirus cure.
    • Jerry Falwell Jr. officially resigns as Liberty University president, university confirms
    • Woman, 21, posted for sale as joke wasn’t funny, say RCMP in B.C.
    • Neighbour's note demands mum limits toddler's time outside as he annoys her dogs
    • Netherlands fights 'wild peeing' with hemp-filled public urinals
    • Bear wanders into California grocery store, steals bag of chips
    • Stealthy thieves steal 330-pound safe from ninja museum

    Stories of the Week

    Story 1

    Hollywood Elites Rush To Normalize Pedophilia Before They're All Outed By Ghislaine Maxwell

    Summary: With Epstein’s infamous assistant Ghislaine Maxwell awaiting trial and testimony in prison, many celebrities, politicians, and entertainment industry elites are rushing to make pedophilia generally acceptable before they’re outed as patrons of Epstein’s notorious island.

    Story 2

    California Ends Exploitation Of Workers For Good By Banning All Jobs

    Summary: California has claimed victory over the horrible abuse and exploitation of workers at the hands of evil employers with a new bill, AB666, which will make it a crime to work for a living.

    Story 3

    Gen Xers Decide To Split Off From Rest Of Society And Form A Utopia That’s All Relaxed And Cool And, You Know, Whatever

    Summary: After years being stuck between the lame boomers and the extra millennials, Generation X has finally decided to do the sensible thing and split off from the rest of society and make a utopia that will be all relaxed and chill and not get worked up over everything.

    Topic of the Week

    Kyle and Ethan talk about their Top 10 Comedy Movies Of All Time

    Hate Mail

    We encounter a Susan and somebody keeps commenting on the podcast telling us to quit podcasting and go back to being funny.

    Subscriber Portion

    Mailbag: Kyle, Ethan, and Producer Dan answer an audio question from subscriber Clarence Thomas Aquinas about infant baptism. He says he only listens to ⅔ of the episodes though. Kyle and Ethan also tackle a question about a church’s online presence.

    Also Mentioned: The R.C. Sproul vs. John MacArthur debate on infant baptism.


    Doctor David Fisher On Surviving COVID/Masks/Keeping Mom Out Of A Nursing Home Aug 25, 2020

    In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk to Dr. David Fisher, one of The Babylon Bee’s longest-tenured writers going back to the Adam Ford days when The Bee was still funny. David Fisher is a physician with Doctors Making Housecalls in Durham, NC and is board certified in family medicine, geriatrics, and palliative care. He is the author of How to Keep Mom (and Yourself) Out of a Nursing Home: Seven Keys to Keeping Your Independence. They talk about the politics and science of COVID, the myths and censorship surrounding a certain medicine that shall not be named, and how to exercise your fart holders.

    Topics Discussed

    • Is COVID a hoax?
    • Do masks do anything?
    • What is the deal with the drug that can’t be named (the H word)?
    • Doc is recovering from COVID
    • Any thoughts on that video of “medical doctors” that is going around? Banned by Facebook, Twitter, Google, YouTube
    • Health impacts of the lockdown
    • Visiting loved ones in the hospital
    • How to keep your mom and yourself out of a nursing home
    • Laughter is good medicine

    Subscriber Portion

    “Doc Savage” answers The Babylon Bee subscriber questions that were submitted to us and not screened at all.

    Also mentioned:

    Archaeologists Discover Prophet Daniel's Weight Loss Diary

    Report: Baptists' Impressive Life Expectancy Linked To Casserole Consumption

    Church Service Canceled After Guitar Cable Identifies As Female

    Joel Osteen Launches Line Of Pastoral Wear: 'Sheep's Clothing'


    Twitter-Gate/Trump Stamps/Students For Life News Show 8.21.2020 Aug 21, 2020

    This is The Babylon Bee Weekly News Show for the week of 8/21/2020.

    Watch or listen to this episode on our podcast page, where subscribers can find full length episodes, or over on our YouTube channel. Subscribe using your favorite podcast platform here.

    In this episode of The Babylon Bee podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk about the week’s biggest stories like Twitter “accidentally” suspending the Babylon Bee for the web’s darkest 90 minutes, the humble Postal Service being the focus of all the nation’s fire and fury, and how students got arrested for the peaceful protest with sidewalk chalk outside a Planned Parenthood. Kristan Hawkins, President for Students For Life, talks to The Babylon Bee and silliness ensues.

    Show Outline

    Introduction

    Stuff That’s Good

    Kyle likes The Peanut Butter Falcon.

    Ethan likes: The Last Narc on Amazon Prime.

    Weird News

    Mum's disbelief after returning home to find naughty puppy had eaten her savings

    Beer company accidentally names itself after pubic hair

    Factory malfunction causes chocolate rain in Switzerland

    Cow surprises beach-goers by emerging from the sea

    Newlyweds shamed for wedding cake that looks like 'burnt mutilated cow flesh'

    Woman catches Amazon driver mid-squat pooing in her garden

    Stories of the Week

    Story 1

    Twitter Apologizes After Intern Accidentally Sets Coffee On ‘Destroy All Conservatives’ Button

    Summary: A large number of conservative and satirical Twitter accounts that criticize the left were shut down yesterday in what CEO Jack Dorsey says was, "a totally honest mistake." Dorsey claims an intern set their coffee on a button labeled, 'Destroy All Conservatives,' which is located in the commons area near the coffee machine and easy to miss if you're not paying attention.

    • A growing trend of non-woke satirists getting suspended like Titania McGrath and others.
    • The Babylon Bee twitter account was down for 90 minutes. Kyle and Dan had to verify their accounts to log back in.
    • Twitter says they are sorry:
    • Meanwhile, "Drag Queen Story Hour" posts tweet deemed pedophilic, locks account after pushback
    • This only seems to be happening in one direction against non-leftists or the non-woke

    Story 2

    Brilliant Trump Puts Himself On All Postage Stamps, Forcing Democrats To Push For Abolishing USPS

    Summary: Sources are reporting that Trump has dealt a killer blow in his ongoing war against his sworn enemy, the United States Postal Service. In a move of sheer, mind-blowing brilliance, Trump directed the Post Office to put his face on every single stamp, forcing the Democrats to reverse course and abolish the institution once and for all.

    Story 3

    Oops! Public School Teacher Forgets To Remove Antifa Mask Before Logging On For Class

    Summary: Parents are raising concerns after a teacher opened her Monday morning online class in full Antifa riot gear. According to witnesses, Willow Maven, a local first-grade teacher and prolific scarf knitter, began teaching her online class, not realizing she was still wearing a black ski mask and a leather jacket emblazoned with an Antifa logo.

    • Prophecy fulfilled
    • A thread where teachers talk about their concern over parents being able to listen in to what they actually teach kids

    Topic of the Week

    Kyle and Ethan talk to Kristan Hawkins who is the president for the nation’s largest youth pro-life organization: Students For Life.

    Hate Mail

    We get some hate from someone who seems to think we are mocking John MacArthur.

    Subscriber Portion

    Kyle and Ethan continue their conversation with Kristen Hawkins and get into the stuff they couldn’t say in front of the paywall. Crazy stories, many more Flowerbeds, and the Ten Questions. Sorry, freeloaders!

    To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans


    Phil Johnson Talks Grace Community Church's "Peaceful Protest"/Wokeness/John MacArthur's Emoji Game Aug 18, 2020

    In this episode, Kyle and Ethan talk to Phil Johnson who is the executive director of Grace to You. He has been closely associated with John MacArthur since 1981 and edits most of Pastor MacArthur’s major books. Phil also founded several popular websites, including The Spurgeon Archive, The Hall of Church History, and the Pyromaniacs blog. He is an ordained elder and pastor at Grace Community Church, which is in the news recently for its decision to meet on the Lord’s Day for worship in defiance of California orders to socially distance.

    Topics Discussed

    • Grace Community Church deciding to meet on Sunday in a “peaceful protest”
    • Response to critics of opening the church
    • Pot is essential, church is not
    • Does John MacArthur read The Babylon Bee?
    • Emoji game is strong for J-Mac
    • Gavin Newsom and his nefarious schemes
    • Spurgeon and smoking a good cigar to the glory of God
    • Baptists hate alcohol though
    • The emergent church, wokeness, and the Young, Restless, Reformed

    Subscriber Portion

    • Inside scoop on John MacArthur including several stories that are unbelievable like getting into an altercation with a cultist and driving over to a house to stop an adulterous act
    • Kyle dropping out of The Master’s College
    • Charismatic chaos and how people keep rushing the stage at GCC.
    • The Ten Questions!

    Also mentioned: Phil Johnson gave a message exploring the history of “Calvinism”

    Also: Phil Johnson’s Po-Motivators.

    To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans.


    VP Kamala/Atheist Arguments/Bats and Boars News Show 8.14.2020 Aug 14, 2020

    In this episode of The Babylon Bee podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk about the week’s biggest stories like Biden picking Kamala Harris as his running mate, irrefutable atheist arguments that will have you running out to buy a sophisticated trilby hat, and how bored boars and bats are attacking naked Germans and libertarians.

    This episode is brought to you by The Compromised Church by Frederick A. Herschelman.

    Exploring issues like the prosperity gospel, the entertainment-centered, seeker-sensitive church, and the importance of lay believers and pastors alike remaining biblically faithful in a time when we’re being pressured to compromise our beliefs, The Compromised Church is a timely exposé of the complacency in American Christianity today.

    Show Outline

    Introduction

    Stuff That’s Good

    Kyle likes HBO’s Chernobyl.

    Ethan likes Jubilee - Middle Ground on YouTube.

    Weird News

    Naked German man chases down feral hog that stole his laptop

    World's last Blockbuster video store listed on Airbnb

    Wild boar leads police on hours-long chase through city

    Researchers teaching robots to write a stage play in Czech Republic

    Domino's New Zealand pulls promotion giving free pizzas to 'Karens'

    Australian pub bans emus for 'bad behavior'

    Libertarian Presidential Nominee Jo Jorgensen Bitten by Bat | Time

    Woman who gouged out eyes while on meth receives prosthetic eyeballs

    Stories of the Week

    Story 1

    Chicago Mayor Drives Past Looters To Arrest 7-Year-Old Having A Birthday Party

    Summary: The mayor of Chicago made headlines this week when she heroically drove her car toward a group of pillaging looters, then swerved past them to arrest a 7-year old having a birthday party.

    Story 2

    Biden Campaign Warns That For Debate Biden Will Need A Mask That Completely Conceals His Face And He Might Sound Different

    Summary: The Biden Campaign has said they are open to debating Donald Trump however they have warned the press that Joe Biden will need to wear a mask that completely conceals his face and that his voice might sound different

    Story 3

    10 Irrefutable Atheist Arguments That Will Explode Your Feeble Christian Brain

    Summary: Go ahead and order that fedora or trilby.

    Topic of the Week

    Kamala Harris chosen as Joe Biden’s running mate

    • RIP Kamala was trending on Twitter
    • Whats the point of a VP anyway?
    • What the left said about her then vs now
    • Tulsi Gabbard torpedoed her on her criminal justice record
    • What Kamala said about Joe Biden vs now
    • Kamala Harris gun ownership
    • Kamala Harris on abortion

    Hate Mail

    We get a very confusing message leading us to wonder who at the Democratic National Committee runs the Department of Approved Jokes.

    Subscriber Portion

    Mailbag! We get a video question from our buddy Cameron!

    To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans.


    Steve Reiter Talks Loved Ones Dying Alone/Arbitrary Lockdown Rules/Reclaiming Our Human Dignity Aug 11, 2020

    In this episode of The Babylon Bee Interview Show, Kyle and Ethan talk to good friend of The Babylon Bee: Steve Reiter. Steve is the host of the Holy Smokes Podcast, which is about a friendship movement of cigar smoking Christians. Steve and his sons were kept apart from his sick wife for several weeks due to the inhumane policy of no visitors whatsoever for hospitalized patients during the pandemic. Steve’s wife ended up dying alone. Since then, Steve has founded the Never Alone Project to pass legislation to make sure this doesn’t happen again to anyone else ever again. Warning: this episode is a hard story to hear, but, Kyle, Ethan, and Steve are able to find joy and laughter in their fellowship together despite hard times.

    Read Steve’s full story in this piece on The Federalist.

    In addition to checking out the Never Alone Project, there’s a Change.org petition that you can sign.

    Topics Discussed

    • Steve tells the story of his wife’s health and long stay in the hospital alone due to arbitrary rules
    • Our humanity being being both physical and spiritual
    • Steve’s efforts in Colorado on a bill to force the issue of at least one screened visitor per day
    • The failure of government and hospital administration at every step leading up to this
    • Steve’s advice for anyone stuck in this situation
    • Steve is the host of Holy Smokes Podcast, so he talks a bit about that
    • Steve worked for Dr. James Dobson at Focus On The Family and Ethan seems to have him confused for someone else
    • The Ten Questions

    That Story Show Crossover! Zombies From Jesus/Gas In Church/Defending Skeletons Aug 07, 2020

    In this special crossover episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan welcome the guys from That Story Show: James Kennison and John Steinklauber! This episode is filled with stories about misplacing children, skeletons, bombs, zombies from Jesus, casting out demons, and the wacky things that 4-year-olds do. In the subscriber portion, we finally get Ethan’s disgusting pizza story and read some of our own subscriber submissions!

    Stories Discussed

    • 4 year old antics
    • Christians that aren’t being a good witness on the road with their massive JESUS bumper stickers
    • There are some things the GOODWILL guys will NOT take
    • When zombies interrupt worship and romance
    • Autobot transforming piano tuners
    • An Innocent bomb threat
    • In defence of skeletons
    • Cookie Jerky
    • The quarterly casting out of the demons
    • What’s wrong with The Smurfs?
    • Sandy Patty
    • Farting in church

    Subscriber Portion

    • Ethan’s disgusting pizza story
    • The Babylon Bee Subscriber submissions
    • The Ten Questions!

    Brett & Erin Kunkle Talk Equipping The Next Generation/Youth Ministry Antics/Crushing Monks Aug 04, 2020

    In this episode of The Babylon Bee Interview Show, Kyle and Ethan talk to Brett and Erin Kunkle who founded and lead MAVEN, which is an organization that exists to help the next generation know truth, pursue goodness, and create beauty, all for the cause of Christ. They talk about how we need to update the flannelgraphs, prompt the next generation to ask why they believe what they believe, and help youth groups equip the next generation with worldview knowledge, apologetics, and deep theology. They also discuss discernment in how G-rated movies are probably rotting your kid’s brain with cultural messages, screen time restrictions, and wacky youth group games and pranks that would probably land you in court nowadays. There’s also sage marriage advice from Erin in the subscriber portion.

    Topics Discussed

    • Brett and Erin Kunkle lead up a group called MAVEN which is a movement of students who know truth, pursue goodness and create beauty.
    • Flannelgraphs being updated for modern sunday school lessons
    • Parenting and youth ministry challenges
    • Teaching the Why and not just the What
    • Catechisms and deepening our relationship with God just be knowing who He is
    • Prompting the “Why?” questions as a parent, instead of waiting for them
    • Teaching kids to crush the monks with facts and logic
    • Blue-haired ladies on TikTok indoctrinating teenagers
    • Screen time restrictions for kids
    • Youth groups can be more than pizza and games
    • Intergenerational church experiences
    • Eating bugs for the kingdom and handling dead animals
    • G-rated movies are rotting your kid’s brains
    • Narrating life for your kids to help them see what’s going on around them

    Subscriber Portion

    • Holy Smokes
    • Marrying a single parent with kids
    • The Ten Questions

    Doug TenNapel Guest-hosts! Christian Art In Hollywood / Mythical Riots / Gavin the Grinch - News Show 7.31.2020 Jul 31, 2020

    In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan are joined by good friend Doug TenNapel to talk about the week’s big stories like John MacArthur standing up to the real-life grinch, the government favoring Caesar’s palace over Calvary Chapel, and conservatives being gaslit to believe in the riots being real. Doug TenNapel also talks about Christian art in Hollywood. This episode might be our most flower-bedded yet.

    In the subscriber portion, Kyle, Ethan, and Doug spill on behind-the-scenes stuff writing and showrunning VeggieTales, take a question from a subscriber on Christians using discernment on what media to enjoy, and have Doug undergo the ten questions!


    Interview Show: Dan Crenshaw Talks Eyepatches/Mob Democracy/Unscientific Lockdowns Jul 28, 2020

    Kyle and Ethan talk to Representative Dan Crenshaw. He is the representative for Texas’ second congressional district and the author of Fortitude: American Resilience in the Era of Outrage. They discuss the importance of knowing a good eyepatch guy, the difference between a democracy and a republic, and try to decide what was more chaotic: Afghanistan or CHAZ?

    Watch or listen to this episode on our podcast page, where subscribers can find full length episodes, or over on our YouTube channel. Subscribe using your favorite podcast platform here.

    Don't forget to pre-order the new Babylon Bee coffee table book!

    Topics Discussed

    • Glass eyes bearing secret symbols

    • Knowing a good eye patch guy

    • Cancel culture

    • Democracy Vs Republic

    • Democrats, Republicans, and tribalistic partisanship

    • CHAZ or Afghanistan

    • The politicization of COVID-19

    • Federal Secret Police on American streets?

    • The Ten Questions

    To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans.


    News Show: Mask Pollution/Nick Cannon/Bee Prophecies Fulfilled Jul 24, 2020

    This is The Babylon Bee Weekly News Show for the week of 7/24/2020.

    In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk about the week’s big stories like Nick Cannon informing us all about the rotten savage mountain people in our midst, humanity deciding producing masks was more important than sustaining the earth, and all of the times the Babylon Bee has successfully predicted the future through its prophetic ministry.

    In the subscriber portion, Kyle and Ethan discover a way to eat an entire civilization in a few bites and answer voicemails from subscribers.

    Show Outline

    Introduction

    Stuff That’s Good

    Kyle likes Pandemic Hot Zone.

    Ethan likes Jason Brubaker.

    Also mentioned: Ethan Nicolle, Jason Brubaker and Doug TenNapel once did a podcast.

    Weird News

    Swarm of flying ants spreads across London, Kent and Sussex

    Man unearths 'witch bottle' with teeth inside - but is urged to 'put it back'

    Frustrated in lockdown? Send your scream to Iceland. Wait, what?

    Man throws 19 chopsticks into archery target for\Guinness record

    Sea gull rescued with face mask wrapped around legs

    Stories of the Week

    Story 1

    Walmart Now Requires All Shoppers To Wear Pants

    Summary: In a move that's being called "unprecedented tyranny," Walmart is now requiring all shoppers to wear pants in their stores.

    But really, Walmart told everyone to wear masks in their stores.

    • Shout out to Jimmy Humphrey for submitting the headline idea

    Story 2

    Nick Cannon Quits 'Masked Singer': 'I Need To See A Person's Skin Color Before I Pass Judgment'

    Summary: Nick Cannon has stepped down from his position as host of The Masked Singer, saying he doesn't know how to judge someone's singing voice without first seeing the color of their skin. The move comes just days after Cannon totally owned white people on his podcast, calling them "sick animals," and "rotten little mountain people."

    Hey, that last part is mostly true! Cannon was fired by ViacomCBS for crazy anti-white, anti-semitic comments. Though he was not fired by Masked Singer.

    • Adam Ford seems to have started the controversy with this tweet: https://twitter.com/Adam4d/status/1283087941271801861

    Story 3

    10 Safety Tips For Going Back To Church

    Topic of the Week

    Fulfilled Babylon Bee Prophecies

    Hate Mail

    We are serenaded by someone who doesn’t like what we do. Give his video some likes and positive comments. The world would be a better place if people who disagreed with each other created stuff instead of destroying stuff.

    Subscriber Portion: Mailbag and CHIRPS

    A subscriber mailed The Bee some bug chips. And two other subscribers sent The Bee audio questions, so Kyle and Ethan dive into the mailbag!

    To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans.


    Kira Davis talks White Guilt, JK Rowling, and COVID Christianity Jul 21, 2020

    This is the Babylon Bee Interview Show.

    Kyle and Ethan welcome back Kira Davis! They discuss how white people are making black people feel awkward in an effort to stamp out racism, J.K. Rowling and the TERF wars, and how the rules of Quidditch make no sense to our resident expert on games, Kyle Mann.

    Topics Discussed

    • White people making black people feel awkward to stamp out racism
    • Accepting doughnuts from strangers
    • Poisoned Halloween candy
    • Black people who support Donald Trump
    • COVID lockdowns and civil disobedience
    • Churches trying to navigate the lockdowns and being a voice in the community
    • The Walking Dead and creepy horror movies
    • J.K. Rowling and TERF wars
    • Sexuality, social contagion, and making life-changing decisions at age 12
    • Looking for identity in brands and labels
    • Old tweets coming back to haunt people
    • The rules of Quidditch don’t make sense to Kyle
    • Enjoying entertainment without agreeing with all of the creator’s personal ideologies
    • Christians in Hollywood and Kira’s unhealthy obsession with celebrity culture

    Subscriber Portion

    • The Ten Questions
    • Kira tells an insane story involving a spider in her garage

    To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans.


    Bully Culture, Bible Adventures, and Boogaloo Skunks Jul 17, 2020

    This is the Babylon Bee weekly news podcast special episode for 7/17/2020.

    In this week’s episode of the Babylon Bee podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk about the week’s big stories like Christian knockoffs of secular products being bad, people on the right side of history who are on the wrong side of God, boogaloo skunks, and how are current culture is just the free market of people's fists meeting other people's faces.

    Show Outline

    Introduction

    Welcome to The Babylon Bee podcast with your hosts Kyle Mann and Ethan Nicolle, the two funnymen behind a lot of the stuff you read on The Babylon Bee. They’re not as funny here as they are when they write satire, so get used to disappointment.

    Stuff That’s Good

    Stuff that’s good update: Kyle is finishing up Avatar The Last Airbender and it’s amazing

    Kyle likes Journey to the Center of the Earth

    Ethan likes Blood Father

    Weird News

    Dog left 'looking like alpaca' after biting pet groomer halfway through haircut

    Shopper spotted using paper bag as face covering - and others have used knickers

    ​​​​​​​Family found man declared 'dead' still alive after breaking into hospital morgue

    Pizza Shop Owner Thwarts Robbery By Tossing Pie At Suspect

    Sealed copy of 'Super Mario Bros.' auctioned for a record $114,000

    Mysterious 'vampire-slaying kit' including pistol and knife up for auction

    Stories of the Week

    Story 1

    Man On Right Side Of History Surprised To Find He Still Went To Hell

    Summary: A local progressive was very careful to only advocate for the most progressive politics and be an activist for all the popular new social justice causes. So, since he was so clearly on the right side of history, he was very surprised to find after he died that he still went to hell.

    Story 2

    Op-Ed: There's No Such Thing As Bully Culture, It's Just My Fist's Free Market Response To Your Stupid Face, Dweeb

    Summary: Local lunch money thief and wedgie specialist Biff O’Doyle wrote in a recent op-ed that Bully Culture is not real -quote- ‘It’s just my fist’s free-market response to your stupid face, dweeb’ -end quote

    tory 3

    Here's What's Problematic With Each Of The NFL's 32 Team Names

    Well, the PC police have come for the Redskins. But we at The Babylon Bee feel they did not go far enough. There is white supremacy and racism everywhere in the NFL, with every single team in the league having some kind of offensive stereotype in their name.

    We hereby call on every team in the league to change their name for the following reasons.

    Topic of the Week

    Why is Christian stuff so bad?

    • Bee article: If You Like Secular Things, Try These Christian Alternatives That Are Almost As Good
    • Why is Christian stuff so bad?

    Hate Mail

    We get a reponse to a sponsored newsletter blast speaking out against antifa and get accused of being Christo-fascists.

    Subscriber Portion

    • Kyle and Ethan dive into the mailbag!
    • Bonus weird news filled with projectile penguin poop

    Also mentioned: Ethan Nicolle’s awesome animated music video Lunaractive-Mission To The Moon

    To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans.


    The Woke Cult: The James Lindsay Interview Jul 15, 2020

    This is the Babylon Bee Interview Show.

    In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, editor-in-chief Kyle Mann and creative director Ethan Nicolle talk to James Lindsay, one of the actors involved with the Greivance Study Papers affair in which they got a bunch of peer-reviewed papers published by inserting woke language into stuff they just made up. They talk about the cult of wokeness, its ideology and its tactics, and also about how the landscape of Christianity is kind of like Narnia to an atheist.

    Lindsay’s latest book with Helen Pluckrose is Cynical Theories: How Activist Scholarship Made Everything about Race, Gender, and Identity―and Why This Harms Everybody and is available for pre-order.

    Topics Discussed

    • The State of academia and the workplace

    • White fragility

    • Brown fragility

    • White neurosis and the ‘racial cray-cray’

    • Minoritized

    • Building a bullet train to the bad old times

    • Woke-ism as a new or replacement religion and its parallels with cults

    • NewDiscourses.com and James’ ever-changing encyclopedia of work terminology

    • Finding identities that unify everyone in religion (supernaturally) or nationally or in humanity (naturally) vs. fracturing over identity groups that must speak “authentically” or else get cancelled

    • Politically black vs racially black?

    • Why does BLM want to eliminate the western nuclear family?

    • The academic origins of intersectionality, critical theory, etc.

    • Traditional theory and critical theory- the normative vision and seeking out problematics

    • Wokeness from false consciousness

    • Atheists and Christians are friends now?

    • The left eating itself- the fracturing of critical theory and trans/queer theory and post-colonial theory- Subscriber Portion

    • Quizzing James Lindsay on woke terms in his encyclopedia

    • Critical theory meets the church i.e. Emerging Church 2.0 (More institutionally powerful and worse)

    • The Ten Questions

    To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans.


    Birthday Party On Mars Jul 10, 2020

    This is the Babylon Bee weekly news podcast special episode for 7/10/2020.

    Editor-in-Chief Kyle Mann and Creative Director Ethan Nicolle are joined by The Babylon Bee Senior Writer Frank J. Fleming to talk about the week’s big stories. Frank has a new book Superego: Fathom which is a sequel to Superego. They talk about the week’s big stories like Kanye West declaring a run for the Presidency, how modern Americans are definitely morally superior to slaveowners from 200 years ago, and why a Russian grandmother was caught smearing poo on playground swings. They also talk about how the rich and the powerful can say whatever they want and then in the subscriber portion talk about all of Frank’s problematic writings.

    Show Outline

    Introduction

    Kyle and Ethan come down from their high of celebrating freedom by almost blowing themselves up and letting their kids play with fire.

    Weird News

    Driver fights off snake with just a knife and seatbelt while speeding at 76mph

    Germany goes nuts over sausage vending machines

    Alligator with missing limbs shows up on Florida family's porch

    Escaped pigs cause traffic chaos on Virginia highway

    Cat falls asleep in washing machine and miraculously survives 12-minute cycle

    Woman, 90, caught smearing 'poo' on children's swings in bizarre protest

    • Stomach-churning footage shows an elderly woman smearing what appears to human faeces on a children's swing she wants removed.
    • Gavin Newsom could do this. Layering the skateparks with excrement.

    Married woman, 32, used doctored baby scans bought on eBay to fool her 18-year-old lover into thinking he was the father of her child and let his family bring the boy up as one of their own

    Stuff That’s Good

    Kyle likes Robot Jox.

    Ethan likes The Napoleon of Notting Hill by Chesterton.

    Frank likes Hamilton.

    Stories of the Week

    Story 1 - Kanye West Seizes Opportunity To Be Most Rational, Coherent Presidential Candidate

    Summary: Noticing a lack of rational, coherent, sane presidential candidates, Kanye West announced this weekend that he will be running for president. The move surprised everyone who hasn't been paying attention to 2020 at all so far.

    The real story: Kanye West actually announced his presidential run -- though it’s not clear if he can actually still run.

    • The Forbes interview

    Story 2 - Nation That Kills 3,000 Babies A Day Feels Morally Superior To Slaveowners From 200 Years Ago

    Summary: Leftists who support killing 3,000 babies a day were trying to virtue-signal but quickly ran into a problem: there's no one alive to whom they can feel morally superior. So, the movement was forced to look to people from 200 years ago to find someone they could somewhat credibly criticize for moral failings: slave owners

    • What is it about humanity that makes us think the sins of other ages are so much worse than the sins of our age?
    • Most people go with the crowd, how do you know you would not?
    • It is like Chesteron’s picture of the cad who climbs up to the top of a castle turret then kicks down all ladders that got him there.
    • Real abolitionists who paid the price at the time

    Story 3 - New App Reminds You To Look Up From Your Phone To Check If Your Kids Are Still Alive

    Summary: The tech world is abuzz after the announcement of a new smartphone app that could save millions of lives. The new app, called Kid-Alyve, will remind parents to look up from their phones every so often to confirm that their children are still breathing.

    -Parenting is crazy

    Topic of the Week

    Cancel Culture / Harper’s Letter

    Hate Mail

    LOVE MAIL

    Subscriber Portion

    Bonus Frank Stories And The Ten Questions

    Story 1

    Innovative New Process Turns Vegetables into Meat by Feeding Them to Cows

    Story 2

    Superman Criticized for Unrealistic Portrayal of Journalist as Heroic

    Story 3

    Retraction: Those Kids We Accused Of Holding A KKK Rally Were Actually Just Playing Duck, Duck, Goose


    Christian In Portland: The Drew Dyck Interview Jul 07, 2020

    This is the Babylon Bee Interview Show.

    Editor-in-chief Kyle Man and creative director Ethan Nicolle talk to Drew Dyck about whether criminals are real, being saved from a life of stealing deodorant, and invading Canada. Drew is an acquisitions editor at Moody Publishers and a contributing editor at CTPastors.com, a Christianity Today publication for church leaders. He’s the author of Your Future Self Will Thank You: Secrets to Self-Control from the Bible and Brain Science, Yawning at Tigers: You Can’t Tame God, So Stop Trying, and Generation Ex-Christian: Why Young Adults Are Leaving the Church…and how to Bring Them Back.

    Topics Discussed

    • Sending your book ideas to Drew
    • Arguing with people on Twitter about abolishing the police and whether criminals are a thing
    • Spicing up your testimony by stealing deodorant
    • Milk in a bag
    • The weirdest thing about Canada
    • Portland is stuck in the 90s/Portlandia
    • On the difference between a beat poet and a slam poet
    • When bookstores were a thing
    • Christian stores bestselling “Jesus junk”
    • Where ANTIFA will set up their gulags
    • God isn’t safe but he’s good, like Aslan
    • Self-control in everything but buying Drew’s books
    • Mental illness in the church
    • Remembering the Emerging Church movement
    • What’s better: fur babies or actual babies
    • Writers retreats never help
    • On not psychologizing your opponents
    • The Ten Questions

    To watch or listen to the full length podcast, become a paid subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans


    The Suicide Of Thought Jul 03, 2020

    This is the Babylon Bee weekly news podcast special episode for 7/3/2020.

    This episode is brought to you by Faithful Counseling. Bee listeners get 10% off!

    In this episode of The Babylon Bee podcast, editor-in-chief Kyle Mann and creative director Ethan Nicolle talk about the week’s big stories like a man being fined £450 for provocative intestinal wind, the fallen world we live in where The Princess Bride is possibly being remade, and how doctors are recommending we keep opening up and closing the economy until we all go insane. In the main topic, they read G.K. Chesterton's ideas on the suicide of thought.

    In the subscriber portion, Kyle and Ethan dive in into the mail bag, talk about their years in ministry, and bring in producer Dan so that they all can answer the ten questions.

    Show Outline

    Introduction

    Kyle and Ethan return from the warm, sunny beaches of Florida to churn out another podcast. We have an update on the 'Best of the Bee' book.

    Weird News

    • Broody mother goose has taken 47 babies under her wing - and they're so cute

      • “This phenomenon is known as a gang brood"

    • Man falls through floor of home, plunges down 30-foot well
    • Pair hired for man's broom sexual fantasy turn up in bedroom at wrong address with machetes
    • In fart news: Man fined £450 for 'provocative' fart in front of police officers
    • Newton's recipe for 'toad vomit lozenges' up for auction

    Stuff That’s Good

    Kyle likes Dead Cells the video game.

    Ethan likes WACO on Netflix.

    Stories of the Week

    Story 1

    Equality At Last: Disney Confirms Winnie The Pooh Will Now Be Voiced By An Actual Bear

    Summary: In order to ensure that voice actors only portray characters they actually look like, Disney announced this week that Winnie the Pooh will now be voiced by an actual bear.

    The real story: Several voice actors have stopped voicing characters that are not the same race they are. The Simpsons, Big Mouth, American Dad, Cleveland Show.

    Story 2

    Doctors Recommend Locking Down And Reopening Repeatedly Until Everyone Has Nervous Breakdown

    Summary: A survey of leading physicians unanimously agreed that the best response to COVID-19 is for the government to lock everything down, then reopen, then lock down again, then reopen again and to just keep doing that until everyone completely loses their minds.

    Story 3

    Merciful God Vows To End Humanity Before 'The Princess Bride' Can Be Remade

    Summary: Upon rumors of a remake of The Princess Bride, a spokesperson for the Almighty God confirmed that He will end the world in fire before He would ever allow that to happen.

    Topic of the Week

    Kyle and Ethan read a portion of G.K. Chesterton's Orthodoxy on the suicide of thought and discuss its relevance in our times of constant revolutionary agitation.

    Hate Mail

    Someone went to home depot and bought a whole bunch of flowerbeds.

    Subscriber Portion

    Kyle and Ethan dive into the mail bag, talk about their years in ministry, and have producer Dan join them to answer the ten questions. Subscribers, get to know the Bee boys.


    Growing Up Hinn: The Costi Hinn Interview Jun 30, 2020

    Editor-in-chief Kyle Mann and creative director Ethan Nicolle talk to Costi Hinn, nephew of notorious faith healer Benny Hinn. After leaving that ministry behind, Costi Hinn is now a pastor at Redeemer Bible Church in Gilbert, Arizona. He is the author of God, Greed, and the (Prosperity) Gospel. They talk about Costi’s childhood living large like a Kardashian, learning about a different gospel from a pink study bible, and what goes on behind the scenes of a prominent prosperity gospel ministry.

    Topics Discussed

    • Going straight into the deep end of Calvinism because of a pink MacArthur study bible
    • A day in the life of Benny Hinn- what’s it like to have a personal duster?
    • On growing up as a Hinn was a Kardashian lifestyle
    • The prosperity gospel vs the Biblical gospel
    • On batting 0.068 slaying people in the spirit and only “healing” one guy
    • What went on behind the scenes at these healing events?
    • Not raising a hand against the Lord’s Anointed, even if they happen to be creeps just claiming to have the anointing
    • On whether prosperity health-and-wealth healers sincerely believe their own message or if they just cashing in
    • On Benny Hinn’s occasional “repentance” on the prosperity gospel
    • New wave prosperity preachers and the old generals
    • The Ten Questions

    See also: Benny Hinn is my uncle, but Prosperity Gospel is not for me

    A few Babylon Bee articles on Benny Hinn:

    Benny Hinn Holds Healing Service In Full Hazmat Suit

    Benny Hinn Loses Control Of Powers, Sends Audience Member Soaring Hundreds Of Feet Into Air

    Benny Hinn Spends Another Long Day At Children's Hospital Healing Kids

    Benny Hinn Attempts Jedi Mind Trick On IRS Agents Investigating His Ministry

    Benny Hinn Miraculously Removes Lump From Woman's Purse

    Benny Hinn Added To 'Smash Bros.' Roster

    Benny Hinn Masterfully Knocks Down Audience Members Arranged In Notoriously Difficult 7–10 Split

    I Honestly Can Not Believe I'm Still Getting Away With This

    To watch or listen to the full length podcast, become a paid subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans


    Cops, Kanye, And Candace With Kira Davis Jun 26, 2020

    In this episode of The Babylon Bee podcast, editor-in-chief Kyle Mann and creative director Ethan Nicolle welcome guest host Kira Davis who is editor-at-large at RedState. They talk about the difference between protesting and rioting, some problems Kira sees with the approach of Candace Owens, and how we need to have a reality show where everyone gets stuck in an elevator with someone they hate until we achieve world peace.

    In the subscriber portion, Kyle, Ethan, and Kira talk about Black Lives Matter (as an organization and as a movement), where peace is found in this world, how Kanye is buying up Wyoming, serial killers, sending kids off to college, and that Trump photo-op with the Bible.

    Kira can be regularly heard on her podcast Just Listen To Yourself.

    Pre-order the new Babylon Bee Best-Of Coffee Table Book coming in 2020! Get a Sneak Peak!

    Send your emails to podcast@babylonbee.com and maybe we will answer you in our next Mailbag segment!

    Show Outline

    Introduction

    Kyle, Ethan, and Kira talk about the weird “pacman” masks that allow the coronavirus conscious person to eat out at their favorite restaurant and how Kyle has never seen a Tarantino movie.

    Main Topics

    • Kira Davis has some disagreements with Candace Owens.
    • Kira Davis responds to Ethan’s 13 year old daughter on issues of social justice, race, and protests.

    Paid-subscriber portion

    • Black Lives Matter
    • Trump Photo Op

    Also mentioned on the podcast: Just Listen To Yourself With Kira Davis- Episode 37- Black Lives Matter

    To watch or listen to the full length podcast, become a paid subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans


    Civil War, Socialism, And The Simpsons: The Dinesh D'Souza Interview Jun 23, 2020

    Kyle and Ethan talk to Dinesh D’Souza. He has been called a far right provocateur and is a filmmaker and the author of several books, most recently United States of Socialism. They talk about socialism, identity politics, and whether or not it’s okay to laugh at Apu.

    Watch or listen to this episode on our podcast page, where subscribers can find full length episodes, or over on our YouTube channel. Subscribe using your favorite podcast platform here.

    Pre-order the new Babylon Bee Best-Of Coffee Table Book coming in 2020! Get a Sneak Peak!

    Topics Discussed

    • Dinesh gives a rundown on the new socialists

    • What’s the difference between identity socialism and classic socialism?

    • Socialists abandoning the working class

    • The decline of Christianity in the culture and the rise of a new religion in the Left

    • Virtue signalling versus actual virtue

    • Debating libs vs debating atheists

    • Dinesh’s new book and what it’s all about

    • Is it okay to laugh at Apu?

    • Defending morphing Abraham Lincoln’s face into Donald Trump’s

    • Dating Ann Coulter

    Paid-subscriber portion

    • The Ten Questions

    To watch or listen to the full length podcast, become a paid subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans


    Flashlights And Duct Tape With Brent Mann Jun 19, 2020

    In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan celebrate the one year anniversary of the show and welcome Kyle’s dad, Brent, for Father’s Day. They talk shop about duct tape, flashlights, initialisms, rocket science, and dad hacks. They also dive into the week's news stories. Kyle and Ethan enlighten Brent on what CHAZ or CHOP is, and then discuss Elon Musk's quest to occupy Mars, and an aerospace engineer’s perspective on seeing God in creation.

    Pre-order the new Babylon Bee Best-Of Coffee Table Book coming in 2020! Get a Sneak Peak!

    Send your emails to podcast@babylonbee.com and maybe we will answer you in our next Mailbag segment!

    Show Outline

    Introduction

    Today on The Babylon Bee Podcast, we welcome Brent Mann, Kyle’s dad. It’s Father’s Day and we celebrate the Babylon Bee Podcast’s one year anniversary!

    Stuff That’s Good

    Kyle likes Avatar: The Last Airbender.

    Ethan likes Rifftrax.

    Brent likes Columbo. Remember Columbo?

    Weird News

    • Mum renovating home finds 'clever' tip from previous owner under old wallpaper

      Florida man fist-fights alligator to save dog
    • Deer runs into Black Lives Matter protest in New Jersey, seriously injuring woman

      Teen fell into coma after having bubble tea twice a day for a month
    • South Carolina police seek couple accused of holding Pizza Hut manager at gunpoint, stealing Pepsi

    • German police: Petty thief fled supermarket, forgot his son

    Story 1

    Trump Enacts Tariffs, Travel Ban On CHAZ

    Summary: Trump has announced a new set of tariffs and a travel ban on CHAZ, escalating the trade war between the United States and the fledgling nation-state.

    The real story: An "autonomous zone" or Occupy Protest and sprung up in Seattle complete with warlords, speech codes, segregated gardens, calls for foreign aid from its capitalist neighbors, and brutal community policing tactics.

    Story 2

    Study: Average Father Spends 97% Of Time Running Around House Turning Lights Off

    Summary: A new study of fatherhood in America found that the average dad spends up to 97% of his time running around the house turning off lights that the rest of the family left on.

    The real story: Kyle's dad has an ingenious solution to teach your kids to not leave the lights on.

    Topic of the Week

    It's Father's Day! Kyle, Ethan, and aerospace engineer Brent (Kyle's Dad) talk about all sorts of stuff like dad jokes, initialisms and acronyms, Brent's work on the Space Shuttle program, Elon Musk's amazing space feats, and a few of Brent's fatherly quirks like how he carries a really old cell phone in a ziplock bag.

    Hate Mail

    A recent article made some very overworked and stressed booksellers very angry.

    Subscriber Portion

    Ethan and Brent talk bladder blabber when Kyle leaves the room, and then they continue going through Brent's box of stuff he brought in, and finish by talking about more dad hacks and stories, including the time when Brent acted out a scene from The Bourne Identity to chase down a bicycle thief.

    Also mentioned on the podcast: Fingerprint of God: Recent Scientific Discoveries Reveal the Unmistakable Identity of the Creator by Hugh Ross

    To watch or listen to the full length podcast, become a paid subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans


    Fly Fornication And Other Puritan Names: The Dustin Benge & Nate Pickowicz Interview Jun 16, 2020

    Things get downright puritanical when Kyle and Ethan talk to Nate Pickowicz and Dustin Benge about their new book The American Puritans. Dustin is Provost and lecturer and Union School of Theology and Nate is pastor of Harvest Bible Church. Dustin and Nate talk about the inspiration that they draw today from the lives of these men and women and their religious movement in church history while Kyle and Ethan try to figure out why someone would name their kid ‘If-Christ-had-not-died-for-thee-thou-hadst-been-damned’ and whether it’s true that Puritans invented tablecloths to cover up scandalous table legs.

    Topics Discussed

    • The difference between Puritans and Pilgrims

    • Puritan theology: Are sinners in the hands of an angry God?

    • Myth or fact: Puritan edition

    • Puritans’ favorite alcoholic beverage

    • Some church history of the Puritans in England and in America

    • Strange Puritan names like ‘Praise-God’ and ‘Fly Fornication’

    • People walking stark naked through church and cutting off Quaker ears

    • Some of the Puritans highlighted in their new book The American Puritans

    • Kyle and Ethan provoke some baptist answers to The Ten Questions in the Subscriber Portion!

    To watch or listen to the full length podcast, become a paid subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans


    Not All Cops Jun 12, 2020

    In this episode of The Babylon Bee podcast, editor-in-chief Kyle Mann and creative director Ethan Nicolle talk about the biggest stories of the week like how religious gathers and pretending to be protests so they can meet, our recent feud over putting Trump in an AWANA vest, and how all of a sudden defunding the police became a national talking point. Detective Dan from Small Town Dicks joins Kyle and Ethan to talk all about it.

    In the subscriber portion, subscribers get to listen to Kyle and Ethan continue their conversation with Detective Dan!

    Pre-order the new Babylon Bee Best-Of Coffee Table Book coming in 2020! Get a Sneak Peak!

    Send your emails to podcast@babylonbee.com and maybe we will answer you in our next Mailbag segment!

    Show Outline

    Introduction

    Kyle's dad burns podcasts onto CDs and Ethan diagnoses depression in dads stemming from how children handle blu ray discs.

    Stuff That’s Good

    Kyle likes O.C. Supertones album For the Glory

    Ethan likes Mac Smith’s Scurry.

    This News Is Weird

    Man charged with assault after thrown pickle hits Vermont highway worker

    Peruvian mayor poses as corpse to avoid arrest for flouting coronavirus lockdown, reports say

    Ocean Just as Gross as You Thought: Filled with Mucus

    Doctors remove mobile phone charger from man's bladde

    Crayola launches skin tone crayons so 'all kids can colour themselves

    Seagull flies into woman's house and vomits on her kitchen counter

    Stories of the Week

    Story 1

    Clever Churchgoers Avoid Arrest By Disguising Themselves As Rioters Summary: Many churches still aren’t gathering in person but several congregations came up with a clever way to avoid arrest for gathering against government orders: disguising themselves as rioters.

    The real story: Governments seemed to be going hard after churches and other things deemed non-essential, but anything related to protesting was fine.

    • Originally a satire of how apparently COVID wasn’t a concern for anything related to the protest.

    • A thousand medical experts signed an open letter supporting public gathering for protests stating that “white supremacy contributes to COVID and is a lethal public health issue”

    • Churches were/are still fighting to open and trying to comply with lots of extra rules they needed to follow such as limited capacity, masks, no physical contact, some were saying no communion elements, no singing.

    • A prophecy fulfilled. A group of Hasidic youth in NYC put up a George Floyd sign so that they could not be shut down by the cops for their religious gathering.

    Story 2

    Trump Shows Off Completed Awana Vest

    Summary: President Trump and Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi are firing Bible photo ops back and forth, as you would expect politicians to be doing at a time like this. But Trump won the contest of Bible knowledge by showing off his completed Awana Sparks vest.

    The real story: Trump decided to walk across the street from the White House to the Episcopalian church St. John’s (“The church of the Presidents”) which rioters had set on fire the night before. He did this as a show of resolve against the lawlessness which would lead to the burning of churches. He drew criticism for supposedly using police to drive away protestors with “teargas” for the photo op and for the way he stood in front of the church and held up the Bible like it was a political prop.

    • We decided to poke fun of the pandering-ness and the Bible being used as a prop by Trump and then Pelosi and then Cuomo all suddenly being experts on the Bible in all these weird public events quoting verses and making the Bible agree with their side

    • We put an AWANA vest on Trump, which prompted an email from AWANA communications chief asking us to immediately pull it down as it was “beyond satire” and how they didn’t want their vest to be on Donald Trump. They threatened to sue us if we didn’t comply.

    • Seth put AWANA on blast on Twitter

    • We learned Monday that they would NOT be pursuing a lawsuit

    • Kyle's Awana stories!

    • Ethan just hated Awana

    Story 3

    Los Angeles Police To Undergo Intensive Socially Conscious Slam Poetry Training

    Summary: As public demand for comprehensive police reform grows, the LAPD is leading the way by training its officers in socially conscious slam poetry.

    The Real Story: BLM protests are demanding #DefundThePolice… the details are vague but it sounds like they want to get rid of the police altogether in some instances.

    • Marriane Williamson has a great tweet about the ex-cops starting ISIS.

    • Minneapolis Mayor Jacob Frey was publicly mocked and shamed at a protest when he refused to say he would abolish the police..

      • Here is his walk of shame. “Go Home Jacob!” “Shame! Shame!”

      • The Minneapolis city council just voted 9-3 vowing to DISBAND their city police department and council president Lisa Bender told crowds that these 9 members were “committed to ending the city’s relationship with the police force and “to end policing as we know it and recreate systems that actually keep us safe.”

        • Has this been done anywhere before? Camden, NJ

        • “ the city's police department was disbanded and replaced with a new one covering Camden County that had more officers, but on lower pay, according to a City Lab report.”

    • A CNN anchor, Aislyn Camerota asked city council President Lisa Bender “who do I call when someone breaks into my house?” and she said that that question comes from a place of privilege

    • She later went on Chris Cuomo’s Prime time and said a "police free future" is "the goal."

    • We also did a CFA joke, but Ethan hates them.

    Topic of the Week

    Detective Dan of Small Town Dicks joins Kyle and Ethan to talk about all the police issues facing the nation. Dan was formerly a K9 handler and Violent Crimes detective at the same Small Town police department as his twin brother Dave, who also hosts the podcast with Yeardlley Smith of the Simpsons. Dan regards his years as a K9 handler to be the most rewarding of his career. He is now retired. They discuss misconceptions about the police and discuss changes we need to make to serve and protect everyone.

    Hate Mail

    We get an email filled with flowerbeds.

    Paid-subscriber portion

    Kyle and Ethan continue their conversation with Detective Dan.

    To watch or listen to the full length podcast, become a paid subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans


    Liberty For Lil' Ones: The Connor Boyack Interview Jun 09, 2020

    Kyle and Ethan talk to Connor Boyack! Connor Boyack is president and founder of the Libertas Institute. He is best known for writing the Tuttle Twins series of books, which focus on introducing kids to the ideas of liberty and the free market. Kyle and Ethan talk about weed-smoking Mormons, how many wives a man can have in an anarchist utopia, and pouring libertarian fertilizer on the saplings rather than trying to save the old, diseased statist trees.

    Topics Discussed

    • What are the Tuttle Twins series of books about

    • What is Libertarianism all about and what on earth is the deal with the Libertarian Party

    • Does a libertarian Mormon smoke weed?

    • Indoctrinating children with foreign ideas like "liberty" and introducing them to books by dead white guys

    • Isn’t it a bad idea to teach children about liberty since as parents we want to tell them what to do?

    • How many wives would each man be allowed to have in a libertarian utopia?

    • The polygamy case, where children were taken from their parents, that Connor worked on

    • The ten questions!

    To watch or listen to the full length podcast, become a paid subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans


    The Cheesecake Of Justice Jun 05, 2020

    In this episode of The Babylon Bee podcast, editor-in-chief Kyle Mann and creative director Ethan Nicolle talk about the biggest stories of the week like our cities burning down, the most righteous heroes of the riots, SpaceX scrubbing a launch because of a nosy Karen, and all our politicians suddenly became Bible experts overnight. Be sure to stick around for the main topic where two white guys decide to talk about critical race theory in the church and society, because why not?

    In the subscriber portion, subscribers get to listen to Kyle and Ethan dive headfirst into the mailbag and talk about even more stories!

    Pre-order the new Babylon Bee Best-Of Coffee Table Book coming in 2020! Get a Sneak Peak!

    Send your emails to podcast@babylonbee.com and maybe we will answer you in our next Mailbag segment!

    Show Outline

    Introduction

    We are out of quarantine and into curfew, but at least we have new swag for the office.

    Stuff That’s Good

    Kyle likes Brave Ollie Possum: the audio book.

    Ethan likes his own Spotify playlist: Every Song Is Perfect.

    This News Is Weird

    'The bird is free': India 'releases Pakistani pigeon held on spying charges'

    Knocking on Florida couple's door were two alligators fighting

    Monkeys attack lab worker, steal COVID-19 blood test samples

    Turtle crashes through windshield on Georgia highway

    Scientists say they went 'cuckoo' due to laughing gas from penguin poo

    Five-year-old pulled over by cops on his way to buy a Lamborghini

    Stories of the Week

    Story 1

    Powerful: Protesters Spell Out 'Love' With Burning Homes And Businesses

    Summary: In a powerful display of love and tolerance, peaceful protesters in Minneapolis burned several city blocks so the fire would read “LOVE” from the air. Wow. Such love. Much peace.

    The real story: Riots have engulfed the country. It seems like overnight COVID-19 disappeared and were replaced with absolute mayhem everywhere. The riots are over the wrongful death of George Floyd, who was killed by a police officer who had his knee on his neck for nine minutes. (We’ll discuss more in the main topic.)

    • Top 10 heroes of the riots

    • Somehow Chris Matthews and Chris Hanson both make an appearance

    Story 2

    SpaceX Launch Scrubbed After Local Karen Calls The Cops

    Summary: SpaceX had tried to launch a rocket but was forced to scrub the launch after a local Karen called the cops, reporting that people were outside doing things and she did not like it.

    The real story: If ever there were a good time to leave Earth…

    SpaceX did have a scrubbed launch but then launched for real later in the week. Its module successfully docked with the ISS.

    Story 3

    Trump, Pelosi Face Off In Intense Game Of Bible Jeopardy

    Topic of the Week

    Critical Race Theory in the church / racial divides in church culture

    There have been some strange reactions in the Evangelical world to this whole situation.

    • Some funny/interesting reactions from inside and outside the church:

      • Matt Walsh posted a video of white people kneeling to black people: https://twitter.com/mattwalshblog/status/1267507181689192448?

      • Dean of Union Seminary: “What has alienated America from its very soul, thereby virtually normalizing violence against Black lives? Answer: whiteness itself.” (link and soundbyte)

      • NBA Announcer fired for tweeting “All lives matter” (link)

      • CRU (formerly Campus Crusade for Christ) is holding segregated prayer meetings (link)

      • NBA reporter cheers on burning down of low income housing but then calls rioters "animals" when they come around his neighborhood.

      • There is a blueprint for racial reconciliation being adopted by many in the evangelical Christian world that seems to come from something called Critical Theory, or Critical Race Theory. So what is it?

      • Yearning for justice points us to objective reality in Jesus Christ

    Hate Mail

    A man is concerned our story on the Constitution dying from coronavirus may cause confusion.

    Paid-subscriber portion

    Mailbag!

    Kyle and Ethan answer some fair criticism about The Babylon Bee's coverage of Joe Biden.

    Story 1

    Oh No! The Scientist Gavin Newsom Has Been Listening To Is Actually A Bunch Of Raccoons Stuffed In A Lab Coat

    Summary: Gavin Newsom has been listening to scientists throughout the pandemic, but it turns out the main scientist he was listening to is actually a bunch of raccoons in a lab coat. Sad!

    • Are we not listening to SCIENCE! Anymore now that there are progressive crowds out and about?

    Story 2

    Archaeologists Unearth Galilean Coffee Shop Where Jesus Held Small Group

    Summary: Archaeologists have found one of the coolest Bible landmarks: the coffee shop in Galilee where Jesus and His disciples would hold their weekly small groups.

    • How would Jesus’s small group have been?

    • Small groups: yay or nay? What’s wrong with a good old-fashioned Bible study? Where’s the coolest place for a small group to hang out?

    • Small group horror stories

    • Subscribers, send us small group stories!

    To watch or listen to the full length podcast, become a paid subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans


    Save The Babies: The Lila Rose Interview Jun 02, 2020

    Kyle and Ethan talk to pro-life activist Lila Rose from Live Action about opposition to her organization, politicians gaslighting, and fostering a culture of life. Watch Kyle and Ethan get owned by facts and logic and be told their jokes are bad.

    You can listen to Lila Rose on her new podcast: The Lila Rose Show!

    The Lila Rose Show explores questions about relationships, work, health, identity, purpose, and faith, with political and cultural commentary.

    Also follow Live Action on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube.

    Topics Discussed

    • Lila has a new podcast to promote

    • How did Live Action get started

    • Taking on Anti-Abortion “Lies”

    • Parenting challenges like when one child makes themself vomit all over the kitchen from scarfing down hot chocolate packets while you are attempting to have the smaller toddler have their nap time.

    • Pranking Planned Parenthood

    • Deciding on what is the funniest dog

    • When they lit up WTC One Pink to celebrate the new abortion bill in New York state that allows late third trimester abortions

    • Politicians gaslighting about how sacred life is despite their policies

    • Kyle and Ethan get jabbed at for their Protestantism in the subscriber portion when they ask Lila The Ten Questions.

    To watch or listen to the full length podcast, become a paid subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans


    Worship Song Generator May 29, 2020

    In this episode of The Babylon Bee podcast, editor-in-chief Kyle Mann and creative director Ethan Nicolle talk about the biggest stories of the week like how we now have an awesome worship song generator on the website now. Subscribers sent us their unsolicited recordings and they were so good we had to share. Kyle and Ethan bring in a guitar and try their hand at randomly generated worship songs. Also, Biden can now decide people's race and gender, Florida violates the laws of SCIENCE by not killing more of their citizens, and social media is cracking down on misleading avatars.

    In the subscriber portion, subscribers get to listen to Kyle and Ethan go to the mailbag and answer some great questions from you, the subscribers.

    Pre-order the new Babylon Bee Best-Of Coffee Table Book coming in 2020! Get a Sneak Peak!

    Send your emails to podcast@babylonbee.com and maybe we will answer you in our next Mailbag segment!

    Show Outline

    Introduction

    There's been an issue with the subscriber length podcast on downloader apps. If you are having trouble getting the full episode try deleting the URL and re-adding it.

    Frank Fleming has a new book Superego: Fathom. Buy it!

    Kyle reached the end of YouTube and Ethan got locked in a park.

    Stuff That’s Good

    Kyle likes American Gospel: Christ Alone which is a sobering, layman’s-level look at the prosperity gospel and how it has spread through the American church and beyond. Now available on Netflix.

    Ethan likes Parry Gripp if you want your small kids to get good songs stuck in your head instead of bad songs.

    This News Is Weird

    Woman refuses to go on family walks after they invent disgusting 'poop tag' game

    • There is nothing more humiliating than carrying warm dog poop around

    Boy, 9, cries after mum surprises him with first McDonald's since lockdown

    ‘Hitler’s Alligator’ Dies In Moscow Zoo At The Age Of 84

    Boy, 6, Cracks Open Robbery Case By Reeling In Sunken Safe From Lake

    Robot dog herds sheep in New Zealand

    • We finally get robots and this is what we do with them? Who wanted to replace dogs?

    Kitten with two faces born in Oregon barn

    • A dog’s dream or nightmare?

    Grizzly bear with white fur caught on camera in Canada

    • It’s called a polar bear duh

    Stories of the Week

    Story 1

    Biden: 'If You Don't Let Me Sniff Your Hair, You Ain't A Woman'

    Summary: In a recent interview with a female reporter, Joe Biden suddenly lashed out, shouting, “Listen, if you don’t let me sniff your hair, you ain’t a woman!”

    The real story: Speaking to Charlamagne tha God last Friday, Joe Biden said, “If you have a problem figuring out whether you’re for me or Trump, then you ain’t black.”

    Biden is not alone among our political class in making wacky statements.

    Also mentioned: Ancestry.com Revokes Genealogies Of African Americans Who Don't Support Biden

    Also also mentioned: To Save Time, The Babylon Bee Will Now Just Republish Everything Biden Says Verbatim

    Story 2

    Florida Ruled To Be In Violation Of Science For Not Having More People Die

    Summary: Science says Florida should have seen skyrocketing deaths from COVID-19, but instead Florida has not seen anywhere near the number of problems faced by states like New York and New Jersey. Because of this a judge has ruled the state to be in violation of Science.

    The real story: Governor Ron DeSantis was getting slammed in the media for a cautious, “lax” approach to the crisis, with people predicting a huge number of deaths in Florida. This disaster never happened. DeSantis focused his approach on the most vulnerable, like nursing homes, while other states like New York locked the elderly in with COVID-19 patients and restricted low-risk populations severely. People criticized him for opening beaches saying doom was sure to follow a few weeks later -- but this did not happen.

    Florida: 2,200 deaths / 21,000,000 people

    New York: 23,000 deaths / 19,500,000 people

    • How does Andrew Cuomo do such a bad job managing this thing and get away with it while Florida gets slammed while doing a great job?

    • The politicization of this virus is unfortunate. It doesn’t feel like other national crises we’ve faced where we all band together against the big, bad threat -- it feels like we’re hoping our political foes lose big time no matter the cost in human lives.

    Story 3

    Facebook To Begin Fact-Checking Misleading Avatars

    Summary: Facebook announced today the social network will now be displaying a fact-check notice atop avatars that are an inaccurate portrayal of the user.

    The real story: Facebook recently launched customizable avatars similar to Bitmojis and Apple’s Memojis. They tend to look nothing like the people creating them, whether intentionally or not.

    • Ethan is offended that they do not have truly obese options

    • The avatars are very trans-friendly in that you can mix male/female body types, whatever you want.

    • Kyle feels his avatar is fairly accurate though they didn’t have his misaligned tooth or his quarantine neck beard.

    • What’s the deal with avatars anyway? I guess it’s fun to see what you’d look like as some kind of generic mass-produced cartoon.

    Topic of the Week

    The Babylon Bee unveiled a new feature: the Worship Song Generator. A few of you actually recorded your songs!

    • Kyle and Ethan generate songs on the spot!

    • Fan submissions:

      • “Ten Bazillion Reasons To Sing” by Jaycie and Charis Chambers

      • “Insane, Scandalous, Reckless, Unstoppable” by Lacey and Raina Cornelsen

      • “Thundering Heaven Deluge” by Jeremiah Webster

      • “Eternal Body Ember” by Kevin Grant and Daniel Flores

    • What lyrics were pitched by the writers but didn't make it in?

    Hate Mail

    It is short and sweet this week, but we don't think these people used their real names.

    Paid-subscriber portion

    Mailbag: We pull back the curtain on what it’s like getting pseudo-famous on the internet in response to a question from Bee fan Calvin Haynes.

    To watch or listen to the full length podcast, become a paid subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans


    Apologetical Assassin: The Frank Turek Interview May 26, 2020

    Editor-in-chief Kyle Mann and creative director Ethan Nicolle talk to apologist Dr. Frank Turek. Dr. Turek is an author, public speaker and radio host. He is the author of two books (Correct, Not Politically Correct and Stealing from God) and co-author of two more with Norman Geisler (I Don't Have Enough Faith to Be an Atheist and Legislating Morality).He hosts a call-in talk show called CrossExamined on American Family Radio. His television show, I Don't Have Enough Faith to be an Atheist, airs on the NRB Network. Kyle and Ethan talk to Turek about bad atheist arguments, evidences for Christianity, and Ethan sings a special song inspired by the CrossExamined website logo.

    Pre-order the new Babylon Bee Best-Of Coffee Table Book coming in 2020! Get a Sneak Peak!

    Topics Discussed

    • Is Turek of any relation to Turok the dinosaur hunter?
    • Ethan asks Frank if he wants to hear a song he wrote for him. It gets intense.
    • Bad atheist arguments
    • Who would win in a fight?
    • If God is good and all-powerful, how could he allow the Star Wars Prequels to exist?
    • Are murder hornets ontologically bad?
    • What the evidences for the New Testament?

    Subscriber Portion

    Kyle and Ethan ask Frank Turek questions submitted by our subscribers and then give him The Ten Questions

    To watch or listen to the full length podcast, become a paid subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans


    Recalling Ravi May 22, 2020

    In this episode of The Babylon Bee podcast, editor-in-chief Kyle Mann and creative director Ethan Nicolle talk about the biggest stories of the week like teenage expert Greta Thunberg teaching everything now, Elon Musk being the real-life Tony Stark, and Biden hiring a translator to render his speech into plain English. Ravi Zacharias went on to glory so our topic of the week is recalling Ravi's impact as an apologist and ambassador of the Gospel. This episode gets emotional.

    In the subscriber portion, subscribers get to listen to Kyle and Ethan continue their tribute to Ravi and talk about civility, humility, and forgiveness.

    Pre-order the new Babylon Bee Best-Of Coffee Table Book coming in 2020! Get a Sneak Peak!

    Send your emails to podcast@babylonbee.com and maybe we will answer you in our next Mailbag segment!

    Show Outline

    Introduction

    Ethan helps out a family. You can help out too at https://www.ethannicolle.com/post/helping-a-struggling-family

    Stuff That’s Good

    Kyle likes Seinfeld 23 Hours To Kill and Ethan likes Kerry Callen’s Super Antics and Halo & Sprocket

    This News Is Weird

    Alleged thieves wore watermelons over heads at grocery store

    'Virtual Pub Quiz' sets Guinness record for YouTube streaming

    French serial-killer 'expert' admits he made up his experience — even the murder of his nonexistent wife

    Pentagon officially releases UFO videos

    Massive asteroid flying past Earth next week looks like it's wearing a face mask

    Stories of the Week

    Story 1

    MasterClass Replaces All Instructors With Greta Thunberg

    • CNN added Greta to their panel of COVID-19 experts

    • Check out the new ad from MasterClass!

    Story 2

    California Police Attempt To Arrest Elon Musk's Holographic Decoy As Real Musk Escapes On Rocket To Mars

    • Musk threatened he was leaving CA to another state

    • Musk threatened they were reopening their factory and to come and arrest him if they county insisted on trying to keep them closed

    • CA or the county of Merced backed off

    • Tweeted “Take the red pill”/but red rose is democratic socialism

    • Elon Musk speaks in parables and riddles, like Jesus

    Story 3

    Biden Campaign Hires Interpreter To Translate His Speeches Into English

    • Biden’s interpreter reached out and provided a handy key to help us understand Biden’s unique and endearing speech patterns. Here are a few of the examples that should help you next time you see a Biden speech.

    Topic of the Week

    Kyle and Ethan recall great teaching moments from Ravi Zacharias.

    Clips referenced:

    Meaninglessness https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=03qR8b4P8Uk

    Islam/forgiveness: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GmRCsXRassg&feature=youtu.be

    Testimony: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yO8HWH7aq-s

    Civility: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9MYQhFB_f4I

    Humility: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f78Nr4P5KaE

    Short tribute: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UP5NybBs0Ak

    Another short tribute: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HSy4YtExaJg&t

    Meaninglessness is self-defeating: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4i68mc1lMkc

    Subjective moral reasoning: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0218GkAGbnU

    Hate Mail

    Going to video means we are beginning to get comments on our appearances and some conspiracy theories about Kyle.

    Paid-subscriber portion

    Ravi Zacharias still teaches Kyle and Ethan about forgiveness, subjective moral reasoning, humility, and civility.

    To watch or listen to the full length podcast, become a paid subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans


    China - Friend, Enemy, or Frenemy: The Tim Milosch Interview May 20, 2020

    In this episode of The Babylon Bee podcast, editor-in-chief Kyle Mann and creative director Ethan Nicolle talk to professor Tim Milosch about China and international politics. Tim Milosch is an adjunct professor of communication studies, teaching world politics at Biola University, and is currently pursuing a doctoral degree in political science studies at Claremont Graduate University. Did the virus start from someone eating some bad bat soup? Is the Great Wall really that great? Are the Chinese a bunch of filthy commies? Who is General Tso? Find out by watching this new episode!

    You can hear more from Tim on his podcast Tim Talks Politics.

    Topics Discussed

    • Which jokes are not racist?
    • Who is General Tso?
    • The origins of the coronavirus
    • Who are the Chinese Communist Party?
    • China’s handling of its neighbors in the South Sea and refusal to recognize independence for Taiwan or Hong Kong
    • China making fake islands
    • Chinese propaganda
    • China cracking down on churches, demolishing buildings, arresting Christians

    Subscriber Portion

    Kyle and Ethan subject Tim Milosch to the ten questions and we find out if there is a Roman Catholic Carman!


    My Son Built A Website And Got Two Life Sentences: The Lyn Ulbricht Interview May 15, 2020

    In this episode of The Babylon Bee podcast, editor-in-chief Kyle Mann and creative director Ethan Nicolle talk to Lyn Ulbricht, the mother of Ross Ulbricht who is currently serving two life sentences without the possibility of parole for creating Silk Road, which was essentially the libertarian Craigslist. Lyn Ulbricht heads up Free Ross, which is an organization that seeks criminal justice reform as well as Ross's freedom. They talk about Ross's case, excessive sentencing practices, and how Ross and Lyn have reconnected with Jesus during this whole series of events.

    Topics Discussed

    • Who is Ross? What was he like before all this happened?

    • Silk Road

    • Ross's prosecution and sentencing

    • Ross's testimony about Christ giving hope in the midst of hard circumstances

    Subscriber Portion

    Kyle and Ethan try to break Lyn's brain with the ten questions.

    Become a subscriber at babylonbee.com/plans


    Kamikaze Bears And Economic Fallout May 13, 2020

    This episode is brought to you by Faithful Counseling. Click that link and get 10% off!

    In this episode of The Babylon Bee podcast, editor-in-chief Kyle Mann and creative director Ethan Nicolle talk about the biggest stories of the week like the invasion of murder hornets, how a 30 second clip is dividing people, and the “if-it-just-saves-one-life” crowd supporting perpetual lockdown. Kira Davis, editor-at-large of RedState joins Kyle and Ethan for a bit and then Dr. Robert P. Murphy arrives to explain what in the world is going on with the economy under lockdown and how Christians should think more like an economist.

    In the subscriber portion, subscribers get to listen to Kyle and Ethan wax poetic on all the wonders of cheese with a G.K. Chesterton reading!

    Send your emails to podcast@babylonbee.com and maybe we will answer you in our next Mailbag segment!

    Pre-order the new Babylon Bee Best-Of Coffee Table Book coming in 2020!

    Show Outline

    Introduction

    Kyle’s vacation out of California rapidly descends into chaos as his car explodes and Ethan tries to one-up Kyle’s story.

    Stuff That’s Good

    Kyle likes the In-N-Out Animal Style Fries & secret menu and Ethan likes The Steeldrivers (Chris Stapleton years).

    This News Is Weird

    Florida lizard breaks world poop record, dies constipated

    Man walks into Dunkin Donuts with no mask — or pants

    'Darth Vader' enforces lockdown in Philippine village

    World’s biggest 5G tower installed on Mount Everest using yaks to lug ‘controversial’ equipment up tracks

    French encouraged to eat more cheese as act of patriotism

    Stories of the Week

    Story 1

    Trump Retaliates Against Asian Murder Hornets With American Kamikaze Bears

    • Washington state is noticing a worrying new invasive species of Asian Giant Hornets called “Murder Hornets”

    • Are bears the deterrent we need to stop this unchecked aggression from the Far East lately?
    • What other options did Trump consider?

    Story 2

    Asking For Context Of Thirty Second Video Revealed To Be Racist Dog Whistle

    • Ahmaud Aubrey was followed in a truck in an alleged citizen’s arrest by two whites, a father and son.

    • When one of the men tried to use a shotgun to force the man to comply, an altercation occurred, in which Ahmaud was killed.

    • Everyone is forming an opinion based on 30 seconds of footage- which looks really bad- but does it provide all the relevant data we need to decide guilt? Is it okay to ask questions?

    • The struggle of even talking about this civilly and the frustration felt by all people

    Story 3

    'It's Worth It If It Saves Just One Life,' Says Woman Who Supports Abortion On Demand

    • Hypocrisy of the left on saving lives… trying to keep abortion clinics open and shutting everything else down

    • Obviously would have to shut down cities, get rid of cars, planes, subways…

    • As if a permanent lockdown on the economy won’t cost lives in the long run. Even now the UN is warning about 260 million marching to starvation worldwide as a result of the economy being shut down. What about those lives?

    • If we don’t get back to work and produce things, pretty soon we won’t be just watching netflix and ordering in pizza every night. Things will get bad for everyone.

    • Planned Parenthood’s bizarre tweet on Mother’s Day

    Interview of the Week

    Dr. Robert P Murphy joins Kyle and Ethan to help explain what in the world is going on with the economy. He breaks things down like Ethan is five and uses numerous lemonade stand analogies. We had some issues on the skype video quality.

    Love Mail/Hate Mail

    We talk about how we are a racist trash fire.

    Paid-subscriber portion

    Looking at Chesterton’s essay on cheese. Poets need to write more about cheese.

    Become a paid subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans


    Duck Killin' And Gospel Preachin': The Phil Robertson Interview May 08, 2020

    Editor-in-chief Kyle Mann and creative director Ethan Nicolle go on a roller coaster ride of an interview with outspoken Christian and duck hunter Phil Robertson of Duck Dynasty fame. He was quarantining before it was cool and he gives life lessons and gospel witness in this whirlwind episode. They discuss free toilet paper you find in the woods, what the apostle Paul says about killing millions of ducks, and how sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll don't satisfy.

    You can watch Phil's new show In The Woods With Phil on Blaze TV.

    Pre-order the new Babylon Bee Best-Of Coffee Table Book coming in 2020! Get a Sneak Peak!

    Topics Discussed

    • Having a camera crew living with your family

    • Being explicitly Christian in a public sphere

    • Living off in the woods all by yourself- quarantining before it was cool

    • Free toilet paper in the woods

    • Coming to Jesus and living by the good book

    • Phil's mouth is Noah's ark filled with two of every animal

    • Why we kill ducks and not geese

    • Putting down the pudding and picking up popcorn

    This episode is available to watch in full for everyone as a celebration of the launch of our video podcasts.

    Become a paid subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans


    Real Moms Of The Babylon Bee May 06, 2020

    In this special mother's day episode of The Babylon Bee podcast, editor-in-chief Kyle Mann and creative director Ethan Nicolle are joined by their moms, Diane and Diane, to talk about the biggest stories of the week like celebrities being just like you, believe-all-women hypocrisy, and how expert predictions always go well. Then, the biggest topic of the week, your mom. We find out about what it was like having to raise Kyle and Ethan and whether or not it was worth it.

    In the subscriber portion, subscribers get to keep listening to the two Dianes spill on all the really embarassing stories that they have on Kyle and Ethan. Kyle's mom brings in a treasure trove of old stuff Kyle made.

    Send your emails to podcast@babylonbee.com and maybe we will answer you in our next Mailbag segment!

    Pre-order the new Babylon Bee Best-Of Coffee Table Book coming in 2020!

    Show Outline

    Introduction - Kyle and Ethan are joined by Kyle's mom Diane and introduce viewers to the new videocast.

    Stuff That’s Good -

    Kyle - Disc golf

    Ethan - Crooked Still

    Weird news-

    Police in India reveal device to detain coronavirus lockdown violators without contact

    Kentucky governor apologizes to Tupac Shakur for unemployment mix-up

    Sign warns 'mystery human poo-er' to stop defecating on garage

    Man takes 43 wet sponge hits to the face for Guinness record

    Stories of the Week

    Story 1 - Inspiring: Celebrities Spell Out 'We're All In This Together' With Their Yachts

    With Americans feeling the financial pressure of millions of jobs lost, Celebrities joined together to bring hope to the nation by spelling “We’re all in this together” with their yachts

    • Patton Tweet

    • People who thought it was real

    • Hope police cars - PROPHECY REPORT cops got together to spell out HOPE with their cars and they really did that

    Story 2 - Judge Dismisses Sexual Assault Allegations Against Biden On Grounds That He Is Not A Republican

    At a prelimary hearing to establish evidence in the sexual assault allegations against Joe Biden, a federal judge dismissed all charges after the revelation that he was not a Republican.

    • This is the new normal since Kavanaugh

    • Get screenshots of tweets from Kavanaugh era

    • Adam Ford updated old Pelosi tweets: https://disrn.com/news/opinion-updated-some-of-pelosis-tweets-in-light-of-accusations-against-biden

    • Feminist attorney Lisa Bloom said she believes Tara Reade was assaulted by Biden but still supports him: I believe you, Tara Reade.

    Story 3 - Scientists Who Didn't Predict A Single Thing Accurately For Last Two Months Confident They Know What The Weather Is Going To Be Like In 100 Years

    Authorities in the scientific community who touted faulty COVID-19 models confirmed today that they are "pretty confident" they know what the weather is going to be like in 100 years.

    Kyle and Ethan play Name That Failed Prophecy!

    Topic of the Week - Your Mom

    • Was it worth it?

    • Weird/embarrassing stories from the kids’ youth (subscriber?)

    • What’s your favorite yo momma joke?

    • Parenting advice: you’re obviously great parents since you raised the minds behind The Babylon Bee. What is some advice you have for all the young mothers out there?

    • What was the worst part about raising (Ethan/Kyle)

    • What hopes and dreams were crushed the moment you became a parent

    • What do you do with all your free time now

    • Kyle talks about his Christian upbringing. You didn’t let him watch movies like The Terminator or Friday the 13th, scarring him for life. What do you have to say for yourself?

    • Are there any interesting home remedies you found as a mother?

    • Tips for moms -- agree or disagree

    Love Mail/Hate Mail- We got some hate regarding this gem.

    Paid-subscriber portion

    Exclusive moms stuff

    Subscribers, please send you emails to our mailbag at podcast@babylonbee.com so Kyle and Ethan can answer your questions or talk about the things you want to hear about.

    Become a paid subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans


    Cucumber For Christ: The Mike Nawrocki Interview May 01, 2020

    This is The Babylon Bee Interview Show.

    Editor-in-chief Kyle Mann and creative director Ethan Nicolle talk to Larry the Cucumber voice and VeggieTales co-creator and Mike Nawrocki! Mike is a director, producer, writer, voice actor, animator, musician, puppeteer, and assistant professor of Film and Animation at Lipscomb University in Nashville, TN. Kyle, Ethan, and Mike give you the Babylon Bee exclusive behind-the-scenes look into the world of VeggieTales!

    Mike is also the author of a series of children’s books called The Dead Sea Squirrels—out now!

    You can find more from Mike Nawrocki at Facebook and Instagram.

    Pre-order the new Babylon Bee Best-Of Coffee Table Book coming in 2020! Get a Sneak Peak!

    If you are hurting financially right now, check out our $100,000 COVID relief fund set up by Seth Dillon which you can find out more about by contacting us at our website. If you need financial help contact us! Also donate if you are able to chip in to help!

    Topics Discussed

    • How the original VeggieTales became a huge sensation

    • How Ethan ruined VeggieTales with In The House

    • Kyle and Ethan give Mike free creative advise and character ideas

    • Mike's new books The Dead Sea Squirrels

    Subscriber Portion (Begins at 00:42:37)

    • Does he have any thoughts on Phil Vischer’s comments where he regrets aspects of VeggieTales?

    • Bacon Bill and MeatyTales

    • We get Larry the Cucumber to read some Bible verses you've never heard him read before!

    The entire interview is available for Babylon Bee subscribers only…

    Become a paid subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans


    Let My People Go Apr 29, 2020

    This is the Babylon Bee weekly news podcast for the week of 4/29/2020.

    In this episode of The Babylon Bee podcast, editor-in-chief Kyle Mann and creative director Ethan Nicolle talk about the biggest stories of the week like Kim Jong Un being Un-dead, doctor Trump talking about disinfectant being used to clean the body, and the oppression of the American people under this lockdown being so bad that Trump has to tell the governors to “let my people go!” This episode is a must listen for the ‘Go Down Donald’ music track alone which we spent way too much time on. They also talk about why staring at a TV isn’t church.

    In the subscriber portion, subscribers get to listen to Kyle and Ethan dig into the mail bag where they find an audio file sent to us by a subscriber! They talk about worship songs or worship leader habits that really bug them and answer other deep questions from subscribers.

    Send your emails to podcast@babylonbee.com and maybe we will answer you in our next Mailbag segment!

    If you are hurting financially right now, check out our $100,000 COVID relief fund set up by Seth Dillon which you can find out more about by contacting us at our website. If you need financial help contact us! Also donate if you are able to chip in to help!

    Pre-order the new Babylon Bee Best-Of Coffee Table Book coming in 2020!

    Show Outline

    Introduction - Kyle and Ethan talk about waterslides and hotdogs and shampoo.

    Stuff That’s Good -

    Kyle: H.P. Lovecraft - At the Mountains of Madness, The Festival, Rats in the Walls, The Hound

    Ethan: Like Trees Walking Podcast

    These Things Are Weird -

    Ontario woman’s life saved by breast implant that deflected bullet

    Dirt bikers make use of sand-covered skate park in California

    Oregon man drove to 11 different Wendy's restaurants twice in 1 day to stock up on free nuggets, report says

    Woman ‘wakes up in a body bag after mistakenly being declared dead’

    Stories of the Week

    Story 1 - North Korea Reports Kim Jong Un Is 'Most Alive Person In Universe'

    • NBC’s Katy Tur tweeted then quickly deleted a tweet saying he was brain dead

    • Conflicting rumors were circulating that the North Korean dictator had to have heart surgery to put a stent put in and that he was either dead or in a vegitative state

    • Liberals started thirsting for a woman dictator in his sister Kim Yo Jong

    • North Korea is going to get a woman leader before the US? LET THAT SINK IN PEOPLE

    • Other countries that beat the US to a woman leader

    • Kyle reads a very real and not fake at all statement from the People's Republic Of North Korea

    Story 2 - Trump Threatens More Plagues Unless State Governors Let His People Go

    • Trump wants to start recommending phases of opening up the economy. But California, Oregon & Washington Announce Western States Pact in which they will only open up their states when SCIENCE says to.

    Kyle and Ethan hit the guitar and banjo for a new version of an old classic, Let My People Go.

    (Begins at 00:29:11)

    Go down Donald, way down in Michigan

    Tell old Whitmer to let my people go

    When buyin’ guns and seeds was banned

    (Let my people go)

    Oppressed so hard they could not stand

    (Let My people go)

    “Go down , Donald

    way down in Cali Land

    Tell old Gavin to let the skaters go” (LET THE SKATERS GO)

    So Trump spoke to the press and there decreed

    (Let My people go)

    But CNN -wouldn’t air the feed

    (Let My people go)

    Yes the protesters said, “come down (COME DOWN), Donald, (DONALD)

    way (WAY) down (DOWN) at the Bass Pro” BASS PRO

    Tell those governors to let them buy ammo (LET THEM BUY AMMO)

    Trump said, “If you want to end the quarantine,

    (Why not give bleach a go?)

    Hit em with hydroxychloroquine

    (Let the Clorox flow!”)

    God, The Lord said, “Go down, (GO DOWN) Donald,(DONALD) way (WAY) down (DOWN) to America”

    Tell Dem TELL DEM governors GOVERNORS to let My people go

    Tell Dem TELL DEM governors GOVERNORS let My people go

    Story 3 - Trump Says To Drink Lots Of Water, Media Reports He Told Everyone To Drown Themselves

    • Trump seemed to be pontificating before the press about things he was discussing with his experts about in coming up with possible treatments to defeat coronavirus.

    • The corporate press immediately reported that Trump was advising the public to drink bleach and disinfectants and blue checks and Democrats jumped over it.

    Topic of the Week - Why go to church?

    • With most people streaming church services, is there a reason to go back? Why should Christians have fellowship in person?

    • Broader cultural effects of religion and church attendance

    • Hebrews 10:25 - And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, 25 not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

    • “They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching, to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer” (Acts 2:42) - Most of these things are not very zoom-friendly

    • Church as performance versus church as participation in the body

      • If you’re just there to see a cool concert and speech, then really there is no difference between attending and streaming.

      • The consumerism mindset, church as a product

      • Communion, baptism, church discipline

    • Also need to consider that you go to church to serve others not just to receive a message or receive service yourself

    • Plus, pastors who preach on a live stream are really flat and two-dimensional. They aren’t very responsive. It’s like talking to a wall.

    Hate Mail- Get rid of that Mullet guy!!

    Paid-subscriber portion (Starts at 01:08:22)

    Mailbag! - We get a audio clip from a fan and an email.

    Subscribers, please send you emails and short audio files to our mailbag at podcast@babylonbee.com so Kyle and Ethan can answer your questions or talk about the things you want to hear about.

    Become a paid subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans


    Preaching In Italy During A Pandemic Apr 24, 2020

    This is the Babylon Bee Interview Show.

    Kyle and Ethan talk to pastor Michael G. Brown, a reformed church planting missionary currently serving in an area hard hit by the virus: Milan, Italy. He is a co-author of the book Sacred Bond: Covenant Theology Explored. They talk about what it’s like being a missionary in a part of the world that got slammed hard by the pandemic and how the Gospel meets the greatest need of everyone living through these times. You can find out more about the mission efforts in Milan at ReformationItaly.org

    Topics Discussed

    • Serving in an area that was hit very hard by coronavirus

    • Planting a reformed church in Italy and the history of the Reformation there

    • Moralistic therapeutic deism and post-modernism

    • The Reformed Gospel and the Council of Trent

    • The pros and cons of nationalized healthcare

    • Metal music

    • Pizza, Mario Brothers, and Papist Ninjas

    • The Ten Questions

    The full interview is for Babylon Bee subscribers, so...

    Become a paid subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans


    Karens, Lutherans, And Chain-Smoking Monkeys Apr 22, 2020

    In this episode of The Babylon Bee podcast, editor-in-chief Kyle Mann and creative director Ethan Nicolle talk about the biggest stories of the week like New York City Mayor de Blasio calling on everyone to be a KAREN, a woman is wanting everyone to affirm her relationship with a chandelier, and the certain future of chain-smoking monkeys taking over the world. Kyle and Ethan then get Hans Fiene of Lutheran Satire wound up about various things in Christian culture.

    In the subscriber portion, subscribers get to hear the rest of the Hans Fiene interview and Kyle and Ethan go to the mailbag.

    Send your emails to podcast@babylonbee.com and maybe we will answer you in our next Mailbag segment!

    If you are hurting financially right now, check out our $100,000 COVID relief fund set up by Seth Dillon which you can find out more about by contacting us at our website. If you need financial help contact us! Also donate if you are able to chip in to help!

    Pre-order the new Babylon Bee Best-Of Coffee Table Book coming in 2020!

    Show Outline

    Introduction - Kyle and Ethan talk about the latest Babylon Bee podcast which happened to have been the latest Audio Mullet episode.

    Stuff That’s Good -

    Kyle: W.A Criswell’s sermon Whether We Live Or Die

    Ethan: Garlic Reaper Hot Sauce

    Weird news

    California woman dreamed about eating engagement ring — woke up to find she really did

    Rusty knife embedded in man’s head for 26 years after being mugged

    Woman dating a chandelier has discrimination case thrown out

    According to DISRN: A British woman who claims to be in a long-term relationship with a 92-year-old chandelier was told that her attraction to the light fixture is not a protected sexual orientation.

    Novelty toilet roll cakes keep Finnish baker in business

    Man opens up corroded can of Spider-Man pasta from 1995 after getting 1995 retweets.

    Monkeys and Apes chain smoking cigaretts as coronavirus panic grips planet

    Monkey caught on camera flying kite on rooftop

    Woman dating a chandelier has discrimination case thrown out

    Pensioner thrown from fighter jet after accidentally pulling ejector lever mid-flight

    Missouri Sues Televangelist Jim Bakker For Selling Fake Coronavirus Cure

    Coronavirus: Police raid closed Liverpool comedy club after live-stream mix-up

    Stories of the Week

    Story 1 - De Blasio Announces System For Reporting Social Distancing Violations: Knowledgeable Actors Reporting Edict Noncompliance (KAREN)

    At a press conference this morning, New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio unveiled a new way that individual citizens can help enforce social distancing: a.new enforcement program called the Knowledgeable Actors Reporting Edict Noncompliance, or KAREN for short.”

    • According to DISRN: De Blasio encourages New Yorkers to snap photos of people not social distancing and text to authorities: "Enforcement will come right away"

    Story 2 - Trump Announces America's Grand Reopening Sale

    President Trump has announced that America will be reopening soon, and the occasion will be celebrated with an "insane" "once-in-a-lifetime" Grand Reopening Sale.

    The grand reopening extravaganza will include 50% off all landmarks and monuments, in a bid to make back some of the trillions lost during the recession.

    Story 3 - Dems Rush To Defend Kavanaugh After He Puts On Joe Biden Mask

    Democrats are scrambling to defend Brett Kavanaugh against his accusers after he put on a Joe Biden mask.

    • According to DISRN: Just last Thursday we pointed out that more than three weeks after Reade's serious public accusation, CNN still had ZERO articles on their website mentioning her name. Not one. Despite 700 articles mentioning Brett Kavanaugh's debunked accuser, Christine Blasey Ford.

    • CNN finally ran this headline: Democrats grapple with questions about Tara Reade's sexual assault allegation against Joe Biden

    Interview of the Week - Hans Fiene of Lutheran Satire.

    Love Mail/Hate Mail- We get two this week. Rich hates the character limit on our contact form. He had so much more to say about us and our $100,000 COVID relief fund set up by Seth Dillon which you can find out more about by contacting us at our website. If you need financial help contact us! Also donate if you are able to chip in to help! We aren’t sure what we did to anger the second person.

    Paid-subscriber portion

    The rest of the Hans Fiene interview!

    Mailbag!

    Subscribers, please send you emails to our mailbag at podcast@babylonbee.com so Kyle and Ethan can answer your questions or talk about the things you want to hear about.

    Become a paid subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans


    God, Liberty, And Gold: The Ron Paul Interview Apr 17, 2020

    Kyle and Ethan talk to former congressman Dr. Ron Paul. Dr. Paul advocated for non-interventionism, sound money, and individual liberty throughout his career and became the figurehead of a libertarian movement through his presidential campaigns. He is the author of several books including End The Fed and Swords Into Plowshares. Kyle and Ethan ask Dr. Paul about his faith, attempt to get libertarian answers on various modern problems, and try to get him to spill on how much gold he has under his mattress. We find out if Ethan accepts Ron Paul into his heart to become a full-blown libertarian in the subscriber portion.

    You can see more Ron Paul on his Liberty Report.

    Topics Discussed

    • How Ron’s faith and politics intersect and on setting an example

    • Non-interventionism; blaming America, blowback, & war

    • Ron Paul’s foundations for his pro-life views

    • On refusing to endorse McCain or Romney

    • What is sound money and what is wrong with the dollar? The gold standard

    • The Boom-Bust cycle. Ron Paul thinks the virus is being blamed instead of where the real problem lies at the Federal Reserve

    Subscriber Portion (Begins At 00:43:45)

    • Coronavirus- is the government cure worse than the disease? Is it a HOAX?

    • Is there hope for the future?

    • Dan tries to explain inflation

    • Kyle and Ethan discuss non-interventionism

    • Does Ethan accept Ron Paul into his heart?

    The full interview is for Babylon Bee subscribers, so...

    Become a paid subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans


    Bernie, Biden, And Boomers Apr 15, 2020

    This is the Babylon Bee weekly news podcast for the week of 4/15/2020.

    In this episode of The Babylon Bee podcast, editor-in-chief Kyle Mann and creative director Ethan Nicolle talk about the great void in humor we sense as Bernie drops out of the race, how Biden is making the face mask regulations work for him when he wants to smell everyone, and how Trump finally solved his press briefing woes. Kyle and Ethan also talk about weird news like screaming goats taking over a Welsh town and also chat with comedian boomer Jeff Allen.

    In the subscriber portion, Kyle and Ethan talk about the latest open thread premium post about Good Friday for Babylon Bee subscribers, circumcision, Mediterranean food. and some unused headlines.

    Pre-order the new Babylon Bee Best-Of Coffee Table Book coming in 2020!

    Show Outline

    Introduction - Kyle and Ethan talk about milk production, goose racism, and word associations. Ethan also gives combat tips against geese. Kyle and Ethan talk about their Easter celebrations in quarantine.

    Stuff That’s Good -

    Kyle: 90s CCM Albums

    Ethan: Best Worst Movie

    Weird news- Ethan inspires a soundbyte and a new segment.

    Coronavirus lockdown spurs police in England to dye 'Blue Lagoon' black to deter Instagrammers

    Mountain goats use coronavirus lockdown to take over Welsh town, video shows

    Mum who gave birth during coronavirus lockdown calls child 'Covid Bryant'

    Story 1 - Bernie Tests Negative For President : Presidential Hopeful and Socialist Bernie Sanders had his entire campaign derailed after getting back the results from a routine medical exam. Overall he had a clean bill of health but he did test negative for President.

    • Bernie Sanders dropped out finally and endorsed Joe Biden!

    • Since we may not see Bernie again, here are some Bernie Sanders greatest hits…

      • Bernie Sanders Drops Out Of Race To Spend More Time With His Many, Many Houses

      • Bernie Sanders Drops Out As Campaign Goals Of Locking Everyone Up, Destroying Economy Already Achieved

      • Bernie Vows To Rebuild Berlin Wall

      • '80s Movie Night Gets Awkward As Bernie Sanders Keeps Rooting For All The Villains

      • Bernie Sanders Hastily Adds Right To An Abortion At Any Time To Copy Of The Constitution

      • Bernie Sanders Unveils New Plan To Levy Special Tax On Anyone Who Makes More Money Than Bernie Sanders

      • Nike Releases Bernie Sanders Signature Shoe That Helps You Survive Under Socialism

      • Bernie Sanders Arrives In Hong Kong To Lecture Protesters On How Good They Have It Under Communism

      • Bernie Sanders Praises China For Eradicating Poverty By Killing All The Poor People

      • Bernie Sanders Leaps Into Wood Chipper To Reduce Carbon Footprint

      • Bernie Sanders's Acme Rocket Explodes In His Face In Yet Another Failed Attempt To Catch A Billionaire

      • Sanders Clarifies His Gulags Will Be Democratic Gulags

      • Bernie Sanders Supporters Defend How He Always Wears A Top Hat And Monocle And Carries Around Bags With Dollar Signs On Them

      • Bernie Sanders Praises Slave Owners For Free Housing Program

      • Disheveled And Covered In $100 Bills, Bernie Sanders Claims He Was Attacked By A Group Of Billionaires

      • Dems Combine Into Giant Mech To Annihilate Bernie Sanders

      • Bernie Sanders Yelling At Kids To Get Off His Many, Many Lawns

      • Bernie Sanders Banned From Fortnite For Throwing All The Other Players Into Gulags

      • Bernie Sanders Takes Quiet Moment To Seek Advice From Portraits Of His Favorite Dictators

    Story 2 - Biden Cuts Hole In Mask So He Can Still Sniff People's Hair : Democratic presidential front-runner Joe Biden has agreed to wear a CDC-approved N95 ventilator mask. However his staff was troubled when he cut a nose-shaped hole out of his mask so that he could still sniff people’s hair.

    • This one went nuts. Burned Bernie Bros have been taking to social media to complain about Joe Biden too.

    • We need to make a mask that looks like you have a bat hanging out of your mouth

    • Is everyone complying with wearing masks out in public?

    • Jesus not obeying the shelter in place order

    Story 3 - Trump Installs Ejection Seats Throughout Press Briefing Room : After several tumultuous press briefings with a combative media, President Donald Trump has sought to solve the ongoing conflict by reaching out a hand ... and pressing a red button on his podium that ejects journalists into space on rocket-powered chairs.

    • Usual characters trade jabs with president at his press briefings with coronavirus task force.

    • Yamiche from PBS has been sparring with him about ventilators.

    • Mike Lindell the MyPillow guy retooled his 75% of his factory to make masks and gave some off the cuff remarks about reading the Bible and looking to God during this time, the media went apoplectic.

    • CNN’s Jim Acosta, another usual character, accused Trump of engaging in “happy talk” and painting a rosy picture despite personal protective equipment shortages. Trump slammed him.

    Interview of the Week - Millennial Kyle and Gen X Ethan talk to boomer and comedian Jeff Allen about life in America changing, Jesus saving Jeff out of alcoholism, and keeping comedy clean.

    Love Mail/Hate Mail/ Feedback - We get a neutral mail teasing us with knowledge of Carman.

    People! If you have stories about Carman, send a short audio file or email to podcast@babylonbee.com !!!

    Paid-subscriber portion (Starts at 01:24:54)

    Open Discussion Thread; Good Friday

    Some Unused Headlines and sneak peak at upcoming headlines in our drafts

    Mediterranean food and circumcision

    Become a paid subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans


    The Elusive Pro-Life Democrat: The Kristen Day Interview Apr 10, 2020

    This is the Babylon Bee Interview Show.

    Kyle and Ethan talk to Kristen Day, the Executive Director of Democrats For Life of America. She caught the Bee’s eye after putting Pete Buttigieg on the spot about whether or not there is a place in the Democratic Party for pro-life voters. Kyle and Ethan chat with her about abortion, pro-life activism, and partisan divides.

    Topics Discussed

    • There are 21 million pro-life democrats that aren’t being served by their party

    • Kristen’s pro-life convictions based on religious worldview and science

    • Having an opinion on abortion without a uterus

    • Safe, Legal, and Rare becoming Legal… ‘Shout Your Abortion’

    • Confronting Pete Buttigieg on whether there is room in the party for pro-life Dems

    • The goals and activism of Democrats For Life of America

    • How the pro-abortion lobby took control of the party

    • The Democrats For Life are not officially endorsing Joe Biden

    • “Pro-life for the whole life”

    • Political strategies and strange alliances

    • Adoption and pregnancy centers


    The Easter Worshipper Episode Apr 08, 2020

    This is the Babylon Bee weekly news podcast for the week of 4/8/2020.

    In this episode of The Babylon Bee podcast, editor-in-chief Kyle Mann and creative director Ethan Nicolle talk about how unemployment has skyrocketed, Jeremy Camp has created a camp for all kids named Jeremy, and how Bill Gates’ cure for coronavirus was taken out by a Windows virus. Kyle and Ethan then discuss the wonder, the mystery, and the historicity of the Resurrection and how that sets Christianity apart from every other worldview.

    In the subscriber portion, Kyle and Ethan see what you subscribers out there are reading in our new premium open discussion thread.

    This podcast is brought to you by the Classic Learning Test (CLT Exam). Check out an alternative to the SAT and ACT at cltexam.com

    Pre-order the new Babylon Bee Best-Of Coffee Table Book coming in 2020!

    Show Outline

    Introduction - Kyle tortures Ethan with Star Trek talk.

    Kyle- Codenames A Party Game

    Ethan- That Story Show Podcast

    Story 1 - Groundbreaking New Study Suggests Shutting Down Economy Could Contribute To Unemployment

    • This gif tells the story of the weekly unemployment claims. Unemployment skyrocketed over 10 million unemployment claims in just two weeks.

    • Some are projecting 15% unemployment rate in a few weeks and many small businesses are threatened with permanent closures and bankruptcies

    Story 2 - Jeremy Camp Opens Camp For Underprivileged Kids Named Jeremy: 'Jeremy Camp'

    Story 3 - Tragic: Bill Gates Had A Cure For Coronavirus But It Was Erased By A Windows Virus

    • Gates had stepped down from Microsoft board recently to focus on humanitarian efforts.

    • He says the deaths from coronavirus are a “nightmare scenario” but could be less that what is being predicted if we all stay home.

    • He said back in 2015 that we should be concerned about disease and not war causing millions of deaths.

    Topic of the Week - The historicity of Christianity in the life, death, and resurrection of Christ. The full humanity of Christ and how modern Christians tend to de-emphasize the resurrection of the body.

    • Modern Christians have deemphasized the resurrection of the body.

    • Kyle’s college story

    • Purpose-driven life gospel presentation:

      • “Believe God loves you and made you for his purposes. Believe you’re not an accident. Believe you were made to last forever. Believe God has chosen you to have a relationship with Jesus, who died on the cross for you. Believe that no matter what you’ve done, God wants to forgive you. Second, receive. Receive his forgiveness for your sins. Receive his Spirit, who will give you the power to fulfill your life purpose. ... Wherever you are reading this, I invite you to bow your head and quietly whisper the prayer that will change your eternity. ‘Jesus, I believe in you and I receive you.’ Go ahead. If you sincerely meant that prayer, congratulations! Welcome to the family of God!””

    • Lord I Lift Your Name on High

    Bible’s emphasis on resurrection --

    ...If Christ has not been raised, then our preaching is in vain and your faith is in vain.

    “By vindicating Christ in His resurrection, the Father declared His acceptance of Jesus’ work on our behalf... Had Christ not been raised, we would have a mediator whose redeeming work in our behalf was not acceptable to God.” -- RC Sproul

    “The cross and the empty tomb stand at the center of the Christian faith. Without these, there is no good news — no salvation.” -- Albert Mohler

    Emptiness of “religion” and the alternatives

    A.) Pop culture -- “he’s in a better place”

    B.) Atheist eulogy: And the physicist will remind the congregation of how much of all our energy is given off as heat. There may be a few fanning themselves with their programs as he says it. And he will tell them that the warmth that flowed through you in life is still here, still part of all that we are, even as we who mourn continue the heat of our own lives.

    And you'll want the physicist to explain to those who loved you that they need not have faith; indeed, they should not have faith. Let them know that they can measure, that scientists have measured precisely the conservation of energy and found it accurate, verifiable and consistent across space and time. You can hope your family will examine the evidence and satisfy themselves that the science is sound and that they'll be comforted to know your energy's still around. According to the law of the conservation of energy, not a bit of you is gone; you're just less orderly. Amen.

    Proofs of the Resurrection

    1. Empty tomb -- why didn’t his enemies just produce his body?

    2. Eyewitnesses -- Christianity began spreading rapidly as the eyewitness accounts began to spread.

    3. Disciples’ boldness -- Seeing a resurrected Christ turned Peter from being afraid of a little girl to proclaiming Christ crucified to thousands in the book of Acts (Bible’s honesty).

    4. Martyrs -- at some point, you would have thought some of the disciples would have given up the game if it were all a hoax. But all of them except possibly John were slaughtered for their faith and clung to Christ’s resurrection as their power and hope.

    5. Ultimately we believe because of the Word of God and because of our changed lives by the resurrection power of God.

    Love Mail/Hate Mail/ Feedback - We got love mail. We think. This is an emoji filled message so we will take it as a compliment.

    Paid-subscriber portion (Starts at 01:10:51)

    Open Discussion Thread: Whatchyall Readin' Lately?

    Become a paid subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans


    Unquestioned Answers: The Jeff Myers Interview Apr 03, 2020

    Editor-in-chief Kyle Mann and creative director Ethan Nicolle talk to Dr. Jeff Myers, President of Summit Ministries, and author of the new book Unquestioned Answers. They discuss cheesy church sign and bumper sticker theology, canned Christian clichés, easy answers, and the need to think deeply about the reasons for why we believe what we believe. Kyle and Ethan own Jeff with the ironclad "rabbit poop" proof for atheism and talk about the need for a more thoughtful faith.

    Pre-order the new Babylon Bee Best-Of Coffee Table Book coming in 2020! Get a Sneak Peak!

    Topics Discussed

    • What does Summit Ministries do

    • To what extent Is it okay to have doubts and questions in Christianity

    • Bumper sticker clichés in Christian culture

    • Church signs are mostly ‘dad jokes’

    • Unquestioned Answers

    • “Simplicism” - the desire to reduce deep truths into sound bytes?

    • Being in dialogue while not shutting down conversation

    • The ironclad ‘rabbit poop’ argument for atheism previously mentioned on our Greg Koukl interview

    Subscriber Portion (Begins at 00:43:45)

    Songs mentioned on the podcast:

    Heritage Singers / "God Said It, I Believe It"

    Bobby Bare / “Drop Kick Me Jesus”

    Become a paid subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans


    The Essential Business Of Keeping Perspective Apr 01, 2020

    This is the Babylon Bee weekly news podcast for the week of 4/1/2020.

    In this episode of The Babylon Bee podcast, editor-in-chief Kyle Mann and creative director Ethan Nicolle are joined by the editor-in-chief of Ricochet, Jon Gabriel, as they discuss the week’s big stories like using worthless dollar bills as toilet paper, China being so awesome and great at everything, and the government accidentally banning itself when it bans all non-essential business. They also discuss reading really old books by dead guys to gain perspective during hard times.

    You can hear more Jon Gabriel on his podcast: The Conservatarians.

    In the subscriber portion, Kyle, Ethan, and Jon Gabriel talk about our awesome subscriber portion intros that you’re missing out on if you are not a subscriber, pacing while talking on phone calls, ten questions on life for Jon, and also analyzing some list of the top 100 20th century novels.

    Pre-order the new Babylon Bee Best-Of Coffee Table Book coming in 2020!

    Show Outline

    Introduction - Kyle and Ethan welcome Jon Gabriel to the podcast.

    Stuff That’s Good -

    Ethan- Rise of Jordan Peterson documentary

    Kyle- Tuttle Twins Books

    Jon - A Confederacy of Dunces

    Story 1 - Toilet Paper Crisis Solved As Government Prints Trillions Of Fresh, Soft Dollar Bills

    • According to Thomas Massie this isn’t a $2.2 Trillion stimulus; it is a $6 trillion stimulus when you factor in all the unaccountable actions by the Federal Reserve and US Treasury

    • The Federal Reserve lowered interest rates to 0% and set reserve requirements at banks to zero.

    • When Americans get a $1200 check, but the bill is $2 trillion, each American’s tax burden to pay it off will be $13,333.

    • Inflation is the increase of the money supply, not the immediate increase in consumer prices. Effects won’t be felt immediately and equally dispersed throughout the economy’s industries. Austrian economics teaches that this is how bubbles form in certain industries and systematic malinvestments of resources take place in the first place. The higher forms of production get bid up first, they have the first crack at the “free money”. They go crazy building factories and end products that there are no real savings to buy at the end of the road. Boom and then bust.

    Story 2 - China: 'We've Completely Cured Coronavirus And Everything Is Fine Here And No One Is Allowed In To Check'

    • Their numbers are pretty low. They told World Health Org coronavirus wasn’t spreading from person to person and the WHO tweeted that out January 14!

    • Why does WHO defend China as in this CNBC article?

    • China stopped their lockdown protocols but then suddenly closed movie theaters again?

    • Orders for urns much greater than reported deaths?

    Story 3 - Government Accidentally Shuts Itself Down With Ban On Non-Essential Businesses

    • I really miss Adam Ford. Now it’s just the libertarian bee.

    • How are we deciding what is essential or not

    • Is it dangerous to cede the idea that church is “non-essential”

    Topic of the Week - Talking to Jon Gabriel about reading old books to gain a sense of perspective.

    Love Mail/Hate Mail/ Feedback - Ethan almost doxxes Joe “Flowerbed”

    Paid-subscriber portion (Starts at 01:02:47)

    • Ten questions for Jon Gabriel
    • Time’s Top Novels

    Become a paid subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans


    The Outrage Addiction: The Dana Loesch Interview Mar 27, 2020

    Editor-in-chief Kyle Mann and creative director Ethan Nicolle talk to Dana Loesch. She is a talk radio host, author, TV commentator, and longtime Second Amendment advocate. She has a new book Grace Canceled: How Outrage is Destroying Lives, Ending Debate, and Endangering Democracy. Kyle, Ethan, and Dana talk about milkshake ducks, corporate media reporting on cultural divides by taking sides, believing all women except conservative clumps of cells, and searching for Bigfoot.

    You can also follow Dana on Twitter.

    Pre-order the new Babylon Bee Best-Of Coffee Table Book coming in 2020! Get a Sneak Peak!

    Topics Discussed

    • Kyle and Ethan shine a spotlight on all of her evil

    • Dana talks about that