The Art of Manliness

Latest Episodes:

#448: Your Son Isn't Lazy — How to Empower Boys to Succeed Oct 10, 2018

Show notes

Do you have a teenage boy who struggles in school? Or do you have a younger son who you can imagine struggling in school as he gets older? He may be an otherwise capable young man, but seems apathetic and unmotivated, to the point you think he's not excelling simply because he's lazy. My guest today says that's the wrong conclusion to draw, and one that leads to the wrong parenting approach to addressing it.

His name is Adam Price and he's a child psychologist and the author of He's Not Lazy: Empowering Your Son to Believe in Himself. Today on the show, Dr. Price argues that the real reason many young men are unmotivated is not that they don't care about succeeding, but that they feel too much pressure to do so, and are scared of failing. We discuss why nagging and over-parenting simply exacerbates this issue, and how stepping back and giving boys more autonomy can help them become more self-directed and find their footing.

Get the show notes at aom.is/notlazy.

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#447: On Grand Strategy Oct 08, 2018

Show notes

The ancient Greek poet Archilochus said, "A fox knows many things, but a hedgehog one important thing."

The original meaning of the quote has been lost to the mists of time, but my guest today argues that it's a great metaphor for classifying two types of leadership strategies.

His name is John Lewis Gaddis and he's a Pulitzer Prize-winning author, an expert on the Cold War, and a professor of military history at Yale University. Today, Professor Gaddis and I talk about his book, On Grand Strategy, in which he distills insights about strategy from political and military history going all the way back to antiquity.

We begin our conversation discussing what strategy is and what it means to have grand strategy. John then shares the analogy of the fox and the hedgehog, and the benefits and downsides to each approach to thinking and acting. We then discuss why the best strategists combine fox-like and hedgehog-like mindsets, examples from history of great leaders who had both, and how he helps his students see the relationship between principle and practice.

Get the show notes at aom.is/grandstrategy.

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#446: How Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu Will Make You a Better Man Oct 03, 2018

Show notes

In the 1980s, when people signed up for a martial art, they probably joined a karate or taekwondo school. Today? They’re probably signing up for a roll on the mat in a Brazilian jiu-jitsu class. And the Gracie family has played a central role in this martial art's precipitous rise. My guest today is a member of the Gracie family, the head instructor of the Gracie Jiu-Jitsu Academy, and the co-creator of Gracie University, an online jiu-jitsu program. His name is Rener Gracie, and you may have seen the videos we made with him on our YouTube Channel a few years ago.

Today, Rener walks us through the origins of Brazilian jiu-jitsu, beginning with his grandfather Helio, and how a martial art born in Japan ended up being reshaped in Brazil. He then shares how his father helped develop the UFC as a way to promote the efficacy of Brazilian jiu-jitsu, but why there's a big difference between sport BJJ and self-defense BJJ, and why BJJ is such an effective real world martial art. We end by talking about the mindset shift that occurs when you learn how to defend yourself, and how the confidence you gain from learning jiu-jitsu carries over into other aspects of life.

Get the show notes at aom.is/gracie.

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#445: How to Close the Character Gap Oct 01, 2018

Show notes

Are people mostly good or mostly bad? We're apt to think of ourselves as good people, while thinking of the general population as not-so-stellar. My guest today argues that most people, including yourself, are really best described as a mixed bag.

His name is Christian Miller, he’s a professor of moral philosophy and religion at Wake Forest University, and today on the show we discuss his new book The Character Gap: How Good Are We? We begin our conversation discussing how Christian defines the extreme ends of the character spectrum and why very few people can be described as entirely virtuous or vicious. Christian then points to psychological studies that highlight both bad news and good news as to whether humans tend to have praiseworthy or blameworthy character, and which suggest that whether we behave virtuously or viciously often depends on the context we find ourselves in. We then discuss how to close the gap between how we should act and how we do act, including practices that strengthen our ability and desire to do the right thing. We end our conversation discussing how all world religions provide structure to moral development and why we should be slow to call ourselves and others good or bad people.

Get the show notes at aom.is/charactergap.

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#444: How to Use the Procrastination Equation to Start Getting Things Done Sep 26, 2018

Show notes

Procrastination can be a big stumbling block to our success in life. If you’re a student and you put off studying to the last minute, you might not do as well on a test. If you wait to start saving for retirement until you’re in your 40s, you lose out on the power of compound interest.

We know that we need to do certain things sooner, rather than later, but we don’t. Why?

My guest today is Dr. Piers Steel, and in his work and his book, The Procrastination Equation, he's distilled all the research out there on procrastination into a kind of formula that explains why we put things off. Piers explains why his approach to procrastination is different from that taken by many psychologists, and what they often get wrong about its root causes. He then digs into the different components of why we procrastinate, as well as actionable advice on how you can mitigate these issues and start getting more stuff done.

Get the show notes at aom.is/procrastinationequation.

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#443: What Building Your Own Coffin Teaches You About Life, Death, and Meaning Sep 24, 2018

Show notes

When David Giffels was 50 years old and completely healthy, he decided to build his own coffin with his 81-year-old, master craftsman father. Why? Well, I ask him that on today’s podcast. David Giffels is a writer who previously published a book of essays about growing up in the Rust Belt of Ohio in the 1970s. That title is called The Hard Way on Purpose. In his latest book, Furnishing Eternity: A Father, a Son, a Coffin, and a Measure of Life, he recounts the experience of building his own coffin with his father and the lessons about life, aging, and death that he picked up along the way.

We begin the show discussing why many in the Rust Belt live by the motto, "The Hard Way on Purpose," and how it manifests itself in their undying loyalty to their sports teams that come up short year after year. We then shift gears and discuss David’s project of building his own casket with his dad, the expectations he had going into it, and why lying in your own coffin is, unfortunately, not as profound of an experience as you’d think it would be.

Get the show notes at aom.is/giffels.

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#442: Rocky Marciano's Fight for Perfection in a Crooked World Sep 19, 2018

Show notes

Rocky Marciano was a slow, stocky kid, with short arms and stubby legs. He wasn’t the kind of kid you’d pick to one day be an elite boxer, yet he went on to become the only undefeated heavyweight champion in boxing history. In the process, Marciano became a cultural icon in 1950s America, rubbing shoulders with presidents, movie stars, and gangsters.

How did someone who got a late start in the sport, become one of boxing's greatest athletes? And what happens to a man when fame and fortune are suddenly thrust upon him?

My guest today explores those questions in his new book Unbeaten: Rocky Marciano’s Fight for Perfection in a Crooked World. His name is Mike Stanton and today on the show Mike shares how grit, discipline, and fate led Rocky to become the only undefeated heavyweight fighter in boxing history. Mike then shares the challenges Rocky faced with his newfound fame — from balancing work and family, to managing a huge influx of money, to navigating the crooked world of organized crime that controlled the sport of boxing. We end by talking about how Rocky is both an inspiring and tragic figure.

Get the show notes at aom.is/marciano.

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#441: Do Less, Work Better, and Achieve More Sep 18, 2018

Show notes

Do you feel like you’re putting your nose to the grindstone and working longer and longer hours, but not getting anywhere with your career? My guest today makes the case that if you want to be a top performer and advance in your job, you need to start working smarter instead of harder.

His name is Morten Hansen and in his book Great at Work, he highlights his groundbreaking, exhaustive analysis on top performers and shares his "7 Work Smarter Practices” that can maximize your job performance, without necessarily requiring you spend more time at it.

Today on the show, Morten explains why top performers concentrate on fewer things, but obsess more about them, as well as the optimal number of hours to be working each week. He then shares some advice on how to convince your boss to limit the number of irons you've got in the fire. We then discuss a practice Morten called "the one thing" that will elevate your skills, why you shouldn't pursue a job based on passion alone, why the best collaborations involve a bit of heated debate, and why you need to find more time to work alone.

This show busts a bunch of myths as well as offers a lot of really interesting insights that you can put into practice.

Get the show notes at aom.is/greatatwork.

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#440: The 3 Great Untruths That Are Setting Up a Generation for Failure Sep 12, 2018

Show notes

If you haven’t been living under a rock, you’ve likely seen headlines about the tumultuous atmosphere on many college campuses in the United States, which primarily centers around what is and isn’t okay to say or express. The interesting thing is that not too long ago, it was the students who were protesting against the administration placing controls on free speech. But a few years ago, my guest noticed that things had gotten flipped: the students had started protesting that administrators weren't doing enough to limit speech. What happened?

Well, my guest explores the answer to that question in a book he co-authored with Jonathan Haidt entitled The Coddling of the American Mind: How Good Intentions and Bad Ideas Are Setting Up a Generation for Failure. His name is Greg Lukianoff and he’s the president of the Foundation for Individual Rights in Education. Today on the show, Greg tries to explain what’s going on on college campuses with the trigger warnings, microaggressions, protests, and sometimes violent clashes between social justice warriors and far-right provocateurs. He argues that there are 3 great untruths that have become woven into childhood and education that are leading the rising generation astray. Greg gets into where these untruths come from and how they're creating a culture of "safetyism" that's not only affecting intellectual discourse but the normal process of maturation.

If you’re looking for some thoughtful, non-polemical insights about some of the craziness you see going on at college campuses, this episode is for you.

Get the show notes at aom.is/coddling.

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#439: Meditation for Fidgety Skeptics Sep 10, 2018

Show notes

You’ve probably read or heard about the benefits of meditation, but you’ve never given it a try because it all seems a bit too woo-woo. You’re not alone. My guest used to be a skeptic himself, but after falling into drug use and suffering a nervous breakdown on national television, he gave meditation a try and found that it made him calmer and more resilient. He’s now on a mission to make meditation approachable for the masses — no meditation pillow required. His name is Dan Harris. He’s a news reporter at ABC who you can see on Nightline. He’s also the author of the books 10% Happier and Meditation for Fidgety Skeptics.

Today on show, Dan shares the story of his nervous breakdown in front of millions of people and how that led him to meditation. He then takes us through the latest research on the benefits of meditation, including the way it reduces depression and anxiety. Dan and I then discuss some of the myths that people have about meditation, such as the idea that it takes a lot of time, requires you to sit on a pillow, and will cause you to lose your edge. We end our podcast with Dan taking us through a 1-minute guided meditation which will you give you a nice moment of practical zen.

Get the show notes at aom.is/meditation.

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