Show notes
Note: This is a rebroadcast.
A lot of young men today struggle in finding their footing in adulthood. They feel lost, directionless, and unsure of who they are and how to confidently and competently navigate the world.
Part of the reason for this is that most young men today lack something which was once a part of nearly every culture in the world, but has now almost entirely disappeared: a rite of passage.
My guest today didn’t want his son to flounder on the way to maturity, nor to miss out on having an initiation into manhood, so he set out to create a 6-year journey for him that would help him move from boy to man. His name is Jon Tyson, and he’s the author of The Intentional Father: A Practical Guide to Raise Sons of Courage and Character. Today on the show, Jon unpacks the components of the years-long journey into manhood he created for his son, beginning with how he brainstormed those components by doing “The Day Your Son Leaves Home” exercise. We then discuss how old Jon’s son was when he started his rite of passage and why it began with him having a “severing dinner” with his mom. We get into what his rite of passage consisted of, from the kickoff ceremony to the challenges, experiences, trips, and daily rituals Jon used to impart values and teach his son the “5 Shifts of Manhood.” Jon shares how moving his son’s focus from being a good man, to being good at being a man, helped him get remotivated to continue the process, why his rite of passage included a gap year after high school, and how Jon celebrated the end of his son’s journey into becoming a man. We also discuss whether Jon did something similar with his daughter. We end our conversation with some key principles any dad can use to start intentionally helping their kids become well-rounded individuals who can confidently step out on their own and into the world.
Resources Related to the Podcast
Connect With Jon Tyson
0:00 Introduction
0:29 Guest Introduction: John Tyson & The Intentional Father
2:28 The Research on Fatherless Boys
4:54 What Men Lack Without a Rite of Passage
8:37 The "Day Your Son Leaves Home" Exercise
10:47 Building an Asset Map & Community of Fathers
13:37 The Severing Dinner with Mom
17:10 The Beach Initiation Ceremony at Age 13
20:42 Taking Your Son Back to Your Roots
28:14 The Five Shifts of Manhood
31:52 Daily Morning Talks, Books & Movies
42:32 Good Man vs. Good AT Being a Man
46:28 The Archetypes: Lover, Leader, Warrior, Brother, Sage
50:01 The Life Arc Interview
56:03 The Gap Year as the Ordeal
1:01:16 The Capstone Ceremony on the Camino de Santiago
1:04:44 Doing Something Similar for His Daughter
1:09:09 Key Principles Any Dad Can Start With Today
That's 17 — let me trim to the 12 most distinct:
0:00 Introduction & Why Rites of Passage Have Disappeared
2:28 The Research on Fatherless Boys
4:54 What Men Lack Without a Rite of Passage
8:37 The "Day Your Son Leaves Home" Exercise
13:37 The Severing Dinner & Beach Initiation Ceremony
20:42 Taking Your Son Back to Your Roots
28:14 The Five Shifts of Manhood
31:52 Daily Talks, Books & Movies
42:32 Good Man vs. Good at Being a Man
50:01 The Life Arc Interview
56:03 The Gap Year as the Ordeal
1:01:16 The Capstone Ceremony & Key Principles for Any Dad
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