The Art of Manliness

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Declutter, Downsize, and Move Forward With Your Life Dec 26, 2023

Show notes

Note: This is a rebroadcast.

You want to declutter. You want to downsize. You want to live more simply. So what’s been holding you back from getting closer to those ideals?

My guest today sorts through both the psychological and practical roadblocks that can get in the way of living more minimally, and more in the present. His name is Matt Paxton, and he’s a downsizing and decluttering expert, a featured cleaner on the television show Hoarders, the host of the Emmy-nominated show Legacy List With Matt Paxton which showcases people’s heirlooms and treasures, and the author of Keep the Memories, Lose the Stuff: Declutter, Downsize, and Move Forward with Your Life.

We begin our conversation with how Matt got into cleaning out houses and working with hoarders, and some of the worst cases of hoarding Matt’s seen. We then get into both the mindset and brass tacks tips he’s learned from the most extreme cases of clutter that can be used by regular people who just want to pare down their stuff. We talk about why we can feel so attached to our possessions, and how to let them go, while still preserving your and your family’s memories. Matt recommends how and where to get started with your decluttering, and offers tools, including creating a “maybe pile” and a “legacy list,” for deciding what to keep and what to chuck, whether you’re dealing with big items like furniture or small stuff like documents and pictures. Matt explains what to do with your stuff whether trashing, donating, upcycling, or selling, and how much you can reasonably expect to get when you do the latter (spoiler alert: it’s a lot less than you think). We end our conversation with how, after you’ve decluttered your place, to keep it from getting clogged up again.

Oh, and we also discuss where to find hidden stashes of money when you’re cleaning out the house of an older person who’s died.

This is a really fun and interesting conversation that definitely motivated me to clean out our house.

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Matt’s Website

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Duty, Honor, and the Unlikely Heroes Who Helped Win the Battle of the Bulge Dec 20, 2023

Show notes

The Battle of the Bulge commenced on the morning of December 16, 1944. The Allies were ill-prepared for this last, desperate offensive from the Germans, and the campaign might have succeeded if a few things hadn’t gotten in their way, including a single, green, 18-man platoon who refused to give up their ground to the Nazis.

Alex Kershaw shares the story of these men in his book, The Longest Winter, and with us today on the show. He first explains the background of the Battle of the Bulge and how an Intelligence and Reconnaissance unit that had never seen combat ended up in the thick of it. And he describes the platoon’s 20-year-old leader, Lyle Bouk, who was determined to carry out his orders and hold their position despite being massively outmanned and outgunned, and how his men fought until they were down to their last rounds. Alex then shares how what Bouk thought was a total failure — being captured as POWs after just a day of combat — turned out to have been an effort that significantly influenced the outcome of the Battle of the Bulge, and how an unlikely platoon of heroes who initially went unrecognized for their valor became the most decorated American platoon of WWII. You’ll find such an inspiring lesson in this show about living up to your duty and holding the line.

Resources Related to the Podcast

Alex’s previous appearances on the AoM Podcast:
The Bedord Boys by Alex Kershaw
The Bitter Woods: The Battle of the Bulge by John S.D. Eisenhower
AoM Article: NUTS! Why Remembering Christmas 1944 Can Change Your Life
Lyle Bouck

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Season’s Screenings: A Tour of Classic Christmas Movies Dec 18, 2023

Show notes

Watching a holiday movie is a great way to get into the spirit of the season and has become an annual tradition for many families. But what exactly makes a Christmas movie, a Christmas movie, what are some of the best ones ever made, and what makes these gems so classic?

Here to answer these questions and take us on a tour of the highlights of the holiday movie canon is Jeremy Arnold, a film historian and the author of Christmas in the Movies: 35 Classics to Celebrate the Season. Today on the show, we talk about what defines a Christmas movie, why we enjoy them so much, and why so many classics in the genre were released during the 1940s. Jeremy offers his take on the best version of A Chirstmas Carol, whether Holiday Inn or White Christmas is a better movie, why he thinks Die Hard is, in fact, a Christmas movie, what accounts for the staying power of Elf, and much more. At the end of the show, Jeremy offers several suggestions for lesser-known Christmas movies to check out when you’re tired of watching A Christmas Story for the fiftieth time.

Movies Mentioned in the Show

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The Hobbit Virtues Dec 13, 2023

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Virtue ethics is an approach to life, a framework for developing character and making moral decisions. To learn about virtue ethics, you could read a philosophical treatise by Aristotle. Or, you could read a fictional novel by J.R.R Tolkien. As my guest, Christopher Snyder, observes, the ideals of virtue ethics are well illustrated in The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings, being vividly embodied in the characters of Middle-earth.

Chris is a professor of European history, a medieval scholar, and the author of Hobbit Virtues: Rediscovering J.R.R. Tolkien's Ethics from The Lord of the Rings. Today on the show, he shares the way Tolkien's fantasy stories provide real lessons in the capacity of ordinary people to act heroically. We discuss the courage of persistence, the importance of fellowship and how it differs from friendship, the role of merrymaking in the good life, and the value of chivalry.

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Connect With Chris Snyder

Chris' faculty page

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A Carpenter's Notes on the Art of Good Work Dec 11, 2023

Show notes

After forty years working as a carpenter, and not just any carpenter, but one who is often considered the best in New York and who executes some of the country's most elaborate, expensive, and challenging projects, Mark Ellison has filled hundreds of notebooks with drawings of his plans. He's also made plenty of observations about the nature of work, craft, and doing a good job at whatever you pursue.

Mark is the author of Building: A Carpenter's Notes on Life & the Art of Good Work, and today on the show, he shares some of the lessons he's learned over his career in high-end construction, including those that center on the less romantic aspects of being a carpenter. We discuss the comparative importance of will, talent, and interest in learning a craft, the challenges not only of construction but managing personalities, mistakes, and expectations, why speed is essential for a successful craftsman, and how the principles that make for a master builder carry over into other pursuits.

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Connect With Mark Ellison

Mark's website

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Unpacking The Emotion No One Likes to Talk About Dec 06, 2023

Show notes

Of all the emotions, there's one that people are arguably the most reluctant to talk about and admit to feeling.

Envy.

Not only is there very little social discussion of envy, but there's also been very little academic scholarship on the topic. As a result, few people really understand this emotion — what it is, why they feel it, and what it means in their life.

Today we'll reveal the fascinating dimensions of the green-eyed monster with one of the few people who has given a lot of thought and study to this oft-neglected but important subject: Sara Protasi, a professor of philosophy and the author of The Philosophy of Envy. Today on the show, Sara defines envy and explains how it's different from jealousy and why people are more comfortable admitting to feeling jealous than envious. Sara then unpacks what she thinks are the four types of envy, and we work our way from the worst type to a kind that is actually redeemable and potentially beneficial. We end our conversation with how envy, something that's often considered the worst kind of vice, can, in fact, be used to achieve more excellence in your life.

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Connect With Sara Protasi

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Increase Your Influence With the Science of Immersion Dec 04, 2023

Show notes

Why are so many social, business, and classroom interactions so dang dull? This state of affairs isn't only a bummer for those on the receiving end of these underwhelming experiences, but those offering them, too. It means that people are failing to connect with others, teachers are failing to impart knowledge, and salespeople are failing to make sales. Because when you don't engage people, you don't influence them.

My guest says that the secret to making an impact on others is learning to turn ordinary experiences into extraordinary ones through the science of immersion. Dr. Paul Zak is a professor, scientist, and the author of Immersion. Today on the show, Paul shares what he's learned from decades of neuroscience research on how to create immersive experiences that will set you apart as an individual or business and increase your influence. We discuss the elements that create immersion, what goes on in the brain when it occurs, how long it can last, and how to induce immersion, whether you want to teach a more engaging class, wow your customers, or simply make everyday interactions with friends and family more memorable.

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Turn Your Anxiety Into a Strength Nov 29, 2023

Show notes

Anxiety is typically thought of as a disease or a disorder. My guest has a very different way of looking at it, and says that rather than being a burden, anxiety can actually become a benefit, and even a strength.

Dr. David Rosmarin is an associate professor at Harvard Medical School, the founder of the Center for Anxiety, and the author of Thriving with Anxiety: 9 Tools to Make Your Anxiety Work for You. Today on the show, David explains why the prevalence of anxiety has risen while the reasons to feel anxious have fallen, and what the increase in anxiety has to do with our growing intolerance for uncertainty and uncontrollability. We discuss how the perception of anxiety is a big part of the problem that has made anxiety a problem, and how you can change your relationship with anxiety, transforming it from something that hinders your life, to something that helps you develop greater self-awareness, reach your goals, make needed changes, connect better with others, and build your overall resilience.

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Connect With David Rosmarin

David's website

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Counterintuitive Ideas About Marriage, Family, and Kids Nov 27, 2023

Show notes

There are a lot of popular ideas out there around marriage, family, and culture, like, for example, that living together before marriage decreases your chances of divorce, people are having fewer children because children are expensive to raise, and society is becoming more secular because people leave religion in adulthood.

Are these ideas actually born out by the data?

Today we put that question to Lyman Stone, a sociologist and demographer who crunches numbers from all the latest studies to find out what’s going on in population, relationship, and familial trends. We dig into some of the counterintuitive findings he’s discovered in his research and discuss the possible reasons that cohabitation is actually correlated with a higher chance of divorce, the effect that marrying later has on fertility, why the drop in the number of kids people are having isn’t only about cost but also about the rise in high intensity parenting, and how the increase in societal secularization can actually be traced to kids, not adults.

Resources Related to the Episode

Connect With Lyman Stone

Lyman on Twitter

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The Cues That Make You Charismatic Nov 22, 2023

Show notes

Note: This is a rebroadcast.

Charisma can make everything smoother, easier, and more exciting in life. It’s a quality that makes people want to listen to you, to adopt your ideas, to be with you.

While what creates charisma can seem like a mystery, my guest today, communications expert Vanessa Van Edwards, says it comes down to possessing an optimal balance of two qualities: warmth and competence.

The problem is, even if you have warmth and competence, you may not be good at signaling these qualities to others. In Vanessa’s work, she’s created a research-backed encyclopedia of these influential signals, and she shares how to offer them in her book
Cues: Master the Secret Language of Charismatic Communication. Today on the show, Vanessa and I discuss some of the verbal and nonverbal social cues that make you attractive to others, and keep you out of what she calls the “danger zone.” She explains what the distance between your earlobes and shoulders has to do with looking competent, how using uptalk and vocal fry sabotages your ability to convey power, how to put more warmth in your voice, how to trigger the right response with a dating profile picture, and more.

Resources Related to the Episode

Connect With Vanessa Van Edwards

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