The Art of Charm

Latest Episodes:

716: 8 Tips to Keep the Conversation Going Aug 13, 2018

Show notes

How do you take a conversation to the next level and create real connection? In this episode of The Art of Charm podcast, AJ and Johnny explain 8 fundamental steps to develop a relationship beyond just a brief interaction with a stranger on the train, scoring a number at a bar, or a handshake at a business conference. Learn the social cues, the mental tricks, and the right body language to tee up a compelling conversation.

The 8 Steps

Take from the following article - 8 Insanely Effective Ways to Connect with Anyone You Meet

1. PAY ATTENTION - It’s simple but so easy to overlook.

*What are a few ways for you to lock into a conversation?

2. SEEK FEEDBACK - From trusted friends to tell you the truth on what you can improve on.

*Can you think of someone who you can talk to about this? Call them tonight!

3. ASK QUESTIONS - What’s everyone’s favorite topic? Encourage people to talk about themselves and share their experiences with you to create understanding.

*How can you show someone your genuine interest in who they are?

4. REMEMBER YOUR NAME - What’s the best way to remember someone’s name and how can you use these tools during your next night out?

5. DON’T PRETEND YOU KNOW EVERYTHING - It’s the biggest turn-off of them all!

*In fact, what’s one of the best ways to create a seamless and empathetic connection to turn someone one and create a connect?

6. CARE ABOUT OTHERS about others! Show appreciation for the people around you and let that bleed over into all areas of your life.

*How can you create grateful positivity to spread over into your environment?

7. SEE A ROOM FULL OF FRIENDS - Visualize that at your next outing — treat no one like a stranger.

*What’s one of the reactions that we have by becoming uncomfortable in a new environment?

**REMEMBER: This takes practice! If you expect everyone to treat you like a friend, you might set too high of an expectation, so take it in stride.

8. CONNECT IN PERSON. As much as we might want to, we can’t truly connect online! But it’s easy to be afraid of the risk and rejection of meeting in person.

*In what ways can you pivot your body language to show true interest to someone you’re meeting in person?

This was a big episode, but don’t get overwhelmed! Focus on finding that one genuine friend and go from there. And remember: Humans are naturally bad at active listening, so don’t beat yourself up if you find yourself struggling along the way.

Through these podcasts, we strive to give you daily hacks for your life that you can use to overcome the whims of your primitive mind and truly connect with the people around you!

Check out our bootcamp page to learn about the Art of Charm’s personal training!

The Art of Charm Bootcamp

Resources

Articles from this episode!

8 Insanely Effective Ways to Connect with Anyone You Meet - “Lifehack”

How to Make Friends, According to Science - “The Atlantic”

Keep up with The Art of Charm

The Art of Charm Challenge
The Art of Charm Insiders
The Art of Charm Bootcamp
Best of The Art of Charm Podcast
The Art of Charm Toolbox
On social media: Instagram | Twitter | Facebook

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715: The Art of Compelling Conversations Aug 06, 2018

Show notes

In this episode, AJ and Johnny share stories of how they’ve built connections with others and improved upon them — then explore them from a scientific perspective. In their quest to reach the perfect balance, they talk about how vital opening up the door of introduction is without prying into someone’s life or personal space. AJ and Johnny explain the power of the invite, creating an emotional connection and ultimately helping us all understand the kind of person we’re interested in. As best stated by Dr. Jack Shafer (Ep #712), “The sense of closeness increases if the disclosures are emotional rather than factual.”

CHEAT SHEET

We live in a time when technology gives us instant satisfaction for almost everything: food, transportation, running errands, dating, keeping track of… well, almost everything! It’s easy to expect connections to be created just as instantaneously. We hit a button and, BAM, a new best friend. But, it rarely happens that way. Why? How come? How does technology change our assumptions and expectations when interacting with someone new?

What’s the best way to instantly connect with a stranger? Trick question: you don't. Connection takes time.

Think of this: Your next business mentor, romantic interest or long-term friend may be sitting right next to you! And how would you know? These moments may be passing you by in your everyday life?

What practical ways can you give more people the ability to connect on an emotional level with you? By showing emotion, mirroring their body language.

What are emotional bids and how can we use these to understand others? Emotional bids are humor/play/affection, and they’re used to hook the other person into also sharing emotion. It’s the emotion that creates a connection.

AJ and Johnny refer back to their interview with Dr. Jeffrey Hall (our guest on AOC podcast #712) about how long it can take to move from acquaintance to true friend. Where in your daily interactions can you apply this patience as you get to know someone? Example: By trying not to push myself onto the new girl at the coffee shop. She seems nice, but I don’t know her well enough.

A WORD FROM OUR SPONSOR!

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714: The Art of the Pitch With Oren Klaff Jul 30, 2018

Show notes

On today’s episode of The Art of Charm we are speaking with investor, venture capitalist, and author—Oren Klaff. Oren has raised over $2 billion by understanding the prehistoric part of our brain (the “croc-brain”).

Tune in to this episode to hear Oren explain how this applies to your social skills and sales pitch, and why what’s required in the boardroom is no different than what’s required in real life.

CHEAT SHEET

What are the 3 priorities of a “croc brain?”

What is confirmatory diligence and how do you build from it?

How does the human mind automatically view someone in a less powerful position?

How do you find yourself using neuro-financing in your life with your friends and aspirations?

When do you find yourself finding value only “in what you’ve paid for”?

In what ways do you find yourself seeking rapport before expressing yourself freely?

Think of a time when you gave power to others. What was that moment like?

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713: The Art of Gaining Interest with Chris Williams Jul 23, 2018

Show notes

This week’s Q&A Episode features actor, comedian, and magician Chris Williams.

His resume is as diverse as his performance credits. You may know him as Hoover from Silicon Valley, Krazee Eyez Killa from Curb Your Enthusiasm, or Dwight from Dodgeball. He also just happens to be related to former Miss America and actress Vanessa Williams.

Regardless of where you may recognize him, after two and half decades in the industry, he has become a natural at gaining people’s interest and getting noticed. In our conversation, Chris shares what he’s learned about breaking the ice, making powerful impressions, how to handle rejection, and more. He also helps Johnny & AJ answer questions from our audience.

“Own who you are as you enter a room, what you can contribute and what you bring to the table.” – Chris Williams

CHEAT SHEET

Remember! If you have a question you would like Johnny & AJ to answer you can reach them at 1-855-ART-OF-CHARM. Calling not your style? Tweet us or send a DM on Instagram to @theartofcharm.

You’ll learn about Chris…

How his sibling rivalry inspired pride and drive to carve his own path.
Why acting (and life) is like surfing - and why enjoying the wait for the perfect wave is not wasted time.
How to use door frames to actually “frame” your first impression, and other techniques to make a powerful first impression learned from the auditioning
What Toblerone chocolates and the power of acknowledgment have in common.

And Chris helps Johnny & AJ tackle YOUR Questions:

“What’s the smoothest ice-breaking technique you can come up with? - Ben
“Any good tricks for getting people to put down their phones and start talking?” - Matthew
“What is the easiest way to eject out of a low-value conversation, that you realize you are not interested in talking to?” - Bruno
“What are the signs to look for when someone finds a question uninteresting?” - Jeff
“How do you identify if eye contact is meaningful or awkward?” - Trent

There is no magical combination of words. In reality, it’s taking an interest in the other person - AJ

We weren’t all born as confident and charismatic as Chris Williams. You’ll hear in the episode, even he had to learn how to have faith in himself in his early career. From July 22 to July 28, we are hosting a 7-Day Sprint to Confidence Challenge. You can join by CLICKING HERE. You’ll be surrounded by fellow confidence seekers and supported by our AoC Coaching Staff.

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Art of Charm listeners can get ANY PREMIUM INDOCHINO suit for just $379 + FREE Shipping when entering “CHARM” at checkout. This is 50% off the regular price for a made-to-measure premium suit. Incredible deal for a suit that will fit you better than anything off-the-rack ever could.

Resource Links

Listen to other episodes in the Breaking the Ice Series:
Episode 710: The Art of Breaking the Ice
Episode 711: The Art of Talking to Strangers
Episode 712: The Like Switch with Dr. Jack Schafer
Stay connected to Chris Williams: Instagram | Twitter

Keep up with The Art of Charm

Share even your smallest victories with us! We love to celebrate the Art of Charm community at the end of every episode. Send us a message or tag us on your favorite social media platform - @theartofcharm on Instagram | Twitter | Facebook

Other AoC Resources:

What do you love about Shownotes? The article-like recap? Key Questions? Quotes? Let us know what your perfect episode recap looks like here.

Enjoying what you hear? Your reviews are so valuable to us and to those who haven’t discovered The Art of Charm podcast yet. Click here to share your Art of Charm experience.

A big thank you to Chris. We’re grateful he was able to make the time to help us figure out how to break the ice and gain people’s interest - which he practices daily as a working actor.

AND for inspiring us to eat fermented shark while in Iceland… a memory we won’t soon forget!

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712: The Like Switch: Dr. Jack Schafer Jul 16, 2018

Show notes

Our guest is former FBI Special Agent, author, and professor – Dr. Jack Schafer. In the past, Dr. Schafer has developed spy recruitment techniques, interviewed terrorists, and trained agents in the art of interrogation and persuasion. Today, he shares strategies, techniques, and tools you can employ to get people to like you for a minute or a lifetime.

CHEAT SHEET

What is the friendship formula and how does it increase other people’s ability to like you?
What are three “friend signals” you can practice to project likeability?
What signals can you look for to know whether or not good rapport has been established?
What is a “curiosity hook,” and how can you use it to attract others with common interests?
If the golden rule of friendship is to make people feel good about themselves, how do you go about doing that?
How do you use empathic statements to listen more, talk less, and still gain interest in the conversation?
Why learning the C.A.R.E acronym is important to ensure you are maintaining focus on others – and not yourself.

This episode is full of tools for becoming a more likable person, and it’s important to remember the words of Dr. Schafer when applying them in our daily lives:

“No one tool works for all circumstances, but for all circumstances, there is a tool that works. And it’s the time and circumstance that determine what tool to use.”

Talkspace has over 2,000 licensed therapists who are experienced in addressing life challenges we all face. To match with a perfect therapist for a fraction of the price of traditional therapy, go to talkspace.com/charm, and use the code CHARM to get $45 off your first month and show your support for this show.

Acuity Scheduling is your online assistant, working 24/7 to fill your schedule. The AoC family can go to AcuityScheduling.com/AOC to get 45-days free — that’s over three times as long as the standard trial

DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design — even tattoo designs! Check out DesignCrowd.com/Charm for a special $100 VIP offer for our listeners or enter the discount code CHARM when posting a project.

Resources

The Like Switch by Dr. Jack Schafer
Dr. Schafer’s Blog in Psychology Today

Keep up with The Art of Charm

The Art of Charm Challenge
The Art of Charm Insiders
The Art of Charm Bootcamp
Best of The Art of Charm Podcast
The Art of Charm Toolbox
On social media: Instagram | Twitter | Facebook

Enjoying what you hear? Your reviews are essential to us and for those who haven’t discovered The Art of Charm podcast yet. Click here to share your Art of Charm experience.

We tried something new with show notes this week. Did you notice the condensed format? Let us know what you think here.

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711: The Art of Talking to Strangers Jul 09, 2018

Show notes

“There are no strangers here, only friends you haven’t met yet.” – William Butler

Think about it – at one point in time everyone in our lives was a stranger – even our closest friend.

Whether we are trying to strike up a conversation at a networking event, meeting someone at a bar, or just talking to your barista, the art of talking to strangers comes alive every day.

On today’s episode, we aren’t just discussing how to talk to strangers, but why doing so can improve our lives and increase our happiness.

The Cheat Sheet

How can we use the F-E-A-R acronym to help define the types of fear fueling our anxieties? 10:47
Fusion 11:11 Expectations 19:26 Avoidance 30:48 Remoteness 34:47
What do Silicon Valley CEOs know about the influence of technology and connection? 13:17
Why is talking to strangers essential to growing our personal and professional networks? 37:46
How does talking to strangers bring out the best in us? 47:00
Could simply saying hello be the most underrated icebreaker? 53:57

“Most people aren’t going to give you a no, they’re going to respond to a hello” – AJ Harbinger

If you want to be first to know what’s coming beyond the podcast – go to TheArtofCharm.com/Insiders to become an AoC Insider. Any new programs, events, challenges and even give-a-ways will go to our AoC Insiders first. SPOILER ALERT: We’re just weeks away from our first big announcement!

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Resources

Keep up with The Art of Charm

The Art of Charm Insiders
Best of The Art of Charm Podcast
The Art of Charm Toolbox
On social media: Instagram | Twitter | Facebook

Enjoying what you hear? Your reviews are essential to us and for those who haven’t discovered The Art of Charm podcast yet. Click here to share your Art of Charm experience.

We tried something new with show notes this week. Do you like the condensed format? Let us know what you think here!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

710: The Art of Breaking the Ice Jul 02, 2018

Show notes

This episode kicks off The Art of Charm’s series on Breaking the Ice. After learning The Art of the First Impression - it’s time to dig into how to start engaging conversations that genuinely capture the other person’s interest.

AJ and Johnny walk us through how to devise a strategic plan to break the ice that we can practice and quiet self-doubt and anxious thoughts.

Beyond the social science, you’ll get to hear how AJ broke the ice with his girlfriend Amy, and how Johnny’s father broke the ice with unsuspecting hikers on the trail.

Cheat Sheet

Break the ice with banter - and no, we don’t mean a corny one liner
Learn how to ask a better question
Understand the importance of listening - and not just hearing
Take away a simple “Conversation Formula”
And more!

If you find yourself with questions, reach out! Tag us on social media @theartofcharm or leave us a voicemail at 1-855-ART-OF-CHARM. At the end of the month, we’ll be answering your questions on air with guest Chris Williams.

PLEASE SCROLL DOWN FOR FULL SHOW NOTES AND FEATURED RESOURCES!

Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/art-of-charm-podcast-the-art-of-breaking-the-ice-episode-710

If you want to be first to know what’s coming beyond the podcast - go to TheArtofCharm.com/Insiders to become an AoC Insider. Any new programs, events, challenges and even give-a-ways will go to our AoC Insiders first. SPOILER ALERT: We’re just weeks away from our first big announcement!

Acuity Scheduling is your online assistant, working 24/7 to keep your schedule straight. The AoC Family can go to AcuityScheduling.com/AOC to get 45-days free — that’s over three times longer than the standard trial.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

709: Q&A: The Art of Style Jun 25, 2018

Show notes

This week’s Q&A Episode wraps up our series on first impressions, and dive into conversation about style and the art of the first impression with two style experts. LA Based fashion expert and stylist Melissa Chataigne & Real Men Real Style Founder - Antonio Centeno. We also answer YOUR questions on first impressions.

CHEAT SHEET

How can you create a style that is authentic to reflect your personal brand?
How can style increase your confidence?
Why is it important to make a powerful first impression online and off?
What are some tips and tricks to take the stress out of shopping?

PLEASE SCROLL DOWN FOR FULL SHOW NOTES AND FEATURED RESOURCES!

Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/art-of-charm-podcast-qa-the-art-of-style-episode-709

Join our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrates your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here.

This week, Art of Charm listeners can get ANY Premium Indochino suit for just $379 + FREE Shipping when entering “CHARM” at checkout. This is 50% off the regular price for a made-to-measure premium suit. Incredible deal for a suit that will fit you better than anything off-the-rack ever could.

BAKblade 2.0 - a DIY back shaver includes a curved ergonomic handle to reach all those hard-to-reach areas. Use discount code CHARM20 for 20% on all orders over $30.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

708: The Art of Living - With Jesse Itzler Jun 18, 2018

Show notes

On today’s episode The Art of Charm is honored to welcome back Jesse Itzler. His first podcast ever was The Art of Charm - and in today’s episode we catch up with him to learn what he’s added to his “life resumé” since we saw him last.

Some of our favorite life highlights include: signing a record deal, co-founding a private jet company, a beverage company, he wrote a New York Times Best Seller and he’s just released his latest book, Living With The Monks: What Turning Off My Phone Taught Me About Happiness.

Tune in to today’s episode to learn more about Jesse’s journey, and how first impressions and his unique mindset has enabled his unique successes.

The Cheat Sheet

What happens when you start to value the journey more than the outcome?
How does thinking about mortality help you channel self-confidence?
Why is Jesse more concerned about maximizing potential than being happy?
How does Jesse deal with negative self-talk?
How is your life resumé more valuable than your professional resumé?
And so much more…

Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/art-of-charm-podcast-the-art-of-living-with-jesse-itzler-episode-708

Want to learn more? Join our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here

Blinkist gives you access to key insights from 2,500+ bestselling nonfiction books, transformed into powerful packs you can read or listen to in just 15 minutes. Go to blinkist.com/aoc to start your FREE trial or get 3 months off your yearly plan.

DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design -- even tattoo designs! Check out DesignCrowd.com/Charm for a special $100 VIP offer for our listeners or enter the discount code CHARM when posting a project.

Acuity Scheduling is your online assistant, working 24/7 to fill your schedule. The AoC family can go to AcuityScheduling.com/AOC to get 45-days free — that’s over three times as long as the standard trial

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

707: The Art of Body Language Jun 10, 2018

Show notes

Whether we’re meeting someone for the first time or trying to elevate ourselves to that next level—body language plays an integral part in our presentation of self. Listen to this episode to learn the importance of body language in our social interactions, and five simple signals you can focus on to improve your first impression.

The Cheat Sheet

What are the 5 signals of body language that we can control?
How does our environment choose our body language without us even knowing?
What happens when your body language doesn’t align with your words?
How can we actually control our emotions by controlling our body language?
And so much more…

Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/art-of-charm-podcast-the-5-signals-of-body-language-707

Problems hiring? ZipRecruiter is the highest-rated hiring site in America. Try for FREE at ziprecruiter.com/charm where ZR will send your job to 100+ of the web’s leading job boards.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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