The Art of Charm

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Role Mate to Soul Mate | Dr. Warren Farrell Oct 07, 2024

In today's episode, we discuss the dynamics of relationships, empathy, and conflict resolution with Dr. Warren Farrell, a renowned thought leader in gender studies and communication. As the author of multiple bestselling books, including The Boy Crisis and his latest, Role Mate to Soul Mate: The 7 Secrets to Lifelong Love, Dr. Farrell has spent over 30 years teaching couples the art of effective communication. Named one of the world’s top 100 thought leaders by the Financial Times, he specializes in helping couples build lasting relationships through empathy, appreciation, and conflict-free communication.

Join us for a compelling conversation with Dr. Warren Farrell as he unpacks the emotional dynamics that define our relationships and the steps we can take to nurture lifelong love. How can we resolve conflicts without escalating defensiveness? What’s the secret to creating a conflict-free zone in your relationship? Dr. Farrell shares his deep expertise on how appreciation, empathy, and his transformative 4-step apology can reshape even the most strained relationships. Discover actionable strategies to enhance communication, build deeper emotional connections, and foster a resilient partnership that can weather any storm. Whether you're looking to improve your romantic relationship or strengthen bonds with those closest to you, this episode is packed with practical tips to help you succeed.

What to Listen For

Introduction – 00:00:00

What inspired Dr. Warren Farrell to write Role Mate to Soul Mate?
How does Dr. Farrell define the difference between a “role mate” and a “soul mate”?
What are the common challenges couples face as they transition from passion to routine, and how can they overcome them?

Creating a Conflict-Free Zone – 00:06:24

Why is it essential to establish a conflict-free zone in relationships?
How does this practice help couples avoid walking on eggshells and promote honest communication?
What are the steps involved in the caring and sharing practice that Dr. Farrell recommends?

Family Dynamics and Parenting – 00:11:17

How do different parenting philosophies create tension between partners?
What is “checks and balance” parenting, and why is it crucial for long-term harmony?
How does Dr. Farrell suggest couples manage conflicts regarding child-rearing?

The Importance of Regular Appreciation – 00:13:37

Why does regular appreciation help maintain strong relationships?
What are the five levels of specificity in appreciation, and how do they deepen emotional connections?
How can couples create routines, like weekly date nights, to build appreciation and gratitude into their relationship?

The Impact of Modernity on Family Structures – 00:23:01

How does modern society challenge the traditional family structure?
What role does the absence of fathers play in the development of boys and girls?
Why is the rising rate of single-parent households a product of modern societal shifts?

Balancing Career Success with Love – 00:28:21

How do the skills that make you successful at work hinder success in love?
What can high-performing professionals do to shift their mindset and improve communication at home?
Why is listening, rather than problem-solving, key to strengthening emotional connections?

The Importance of Regular Appreciation – 00:35:38

Why does regular appreciation help maintain strong relationships?
What are the five levels of specificity in appreciation, and how do they deepen emotional connections?
How can couples create routines, like weekly date nights, to build appreciation and gratitude into their relationship?

The 4-Step Apology Framework – 00:49:42

What are the four critical components of an effective apology?
How can this apology method transform conflict resolution in relationships?
Why is tone of voice just as important as the words used in an apology?

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Unbreakable (Building Grit And Resilience) | Compilation Sep 30, 2024

In today's episode, we review the greatest hits around building resilience and leveraging social skills to get you closer to your goals, drawing on our insightful conversations with Angela Duckworth, Laura Huang, John Livesay, and Steven Hayes.

Life gets rough. It’s important to develop good habits while things are going smoothly so when the seas get rough, you have a strong baseline to fall back on. Grit and resilience are integral to your success in life because they make the tough times easier to push through without feeling like the world is collapsing around you.

What to Listen For

Introduction – 00:00:00

What is the difference between talent and effort?
What is the foundation for reaching your goals and how do you make it strong?
What are the two P’s you need to push toward your goals?

This always beats talent alone – 00:09:48

What should you focus on if you want to be the best and you weren’t “born with talent?”
How do you maintain your passion in something when you keep failing at it?

Breaking down goals to make them easy – 00:14:48

How can you break down goals and objectives in a way that makes them feel easier while also motivating you to stick with them?
What can you do to stop getting caught up in the past and focus on the future?

How to trust your gut – 00:24:05

What can you do to develop your intuition and learn when to rely on it?
What will always outperform hard work in the world we live in now?
Why is “just be yourself” terrible advice even though there is a kernel of truth embedded in it?

Overcome your fear of rejection today – 00:34:46

What one exercise can you do today to overcome your fear of rejection so you can push forward after every “no” without missing a beat?
What is the secret to not taking rejection personally so you can maintain your focus and mood in the face of overwhelming rejection?

Stop letting your inner critic dictate your life – 00:41:42

What can you do to release the death grip that your inner critic has on your life so you take risks and chase your big goals without fear of failure?
Why do you need to develop competence?

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Finance & Your American Dream | Mark Matson Sep 23, 2024

In today's episode, we explore money and investing with Mark Matson. Mark is an American entrepreneur, author, and innovator in the science of investing and financial education. He creates educational experiences, platforms, and tools that make investing research accessible to investors and transform their relationship with money. His new book, “Experiencing the American Dream: How to Invest Your Time, Energy, and Money to Create an Extraordinary Life” is out now. Mark challenges the traditional definition of the American dream and what many of us get wrong when defining it.

Join us for an insightful conversation with Mark Matson as we discuss why money doesn’t equal happiness and how more money leads to more stress, why you need to understand academic investment principles to save yourself from gambling your retirement away, how to overcome the scarcity mindset to build your American dream, and what it takes to find your purpose and live an extraordinary life.

What to Listen For

Introduction – 00:00:28

How does Mark Matson define the American dream differently?
What problems does money NOT solve?

Identify Your Blindspots with Money – 00:09:03

How do you identify your blindspots with money and then fix them so they don’t hinder your success in life?
What can you focus on to make ANY amount of money feel like enough?

Intelligent Investing vs Stock Gambling – 00:16:15

What behaviors in the stock market make you a gambler vs an investor?
Are big investing firms actually great at investing your money or just lucky over the long term?
Why is the investing industry broken and can it be fixed?
What are the 3 academic investing principles you can apply to mitigate the biggest risks associated with investing?

Why Investing Solo Will Lose You Money – 00:27:34

What natural human tendencies make it an uphill battle to succeed as a solo investor and what value does a coach bring to the table?
How do you apply the 3 academic investing principles when you’re just starting out?

The Investing Roadmap to Prosperity– 00:39:01

What is the secret to creating life changing wealth?
How do you build financial security and freedom if you don’t want to be an entrepreneur?

5 Discoveries That Will Change How You Think About Money – 00:48:22

What 5 facts about investing will change the way you think about money and help prevent you from making huge mistakes?

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Get Better at Anything (Three Pillars to Learning) | Scott Young Sep 16, 2024

In today's episode, we explore the world of accelerated learning and skill mastery with Scott Young, a leading expert on self-directed learning and productivity. As the best-selling author of Ultralearning and Get Better at Anything: 12 Maxims for Mastery, Scott has transformed the way people approach acquiring new skills, pushing the boundaries of what’s possible through deliberate practice and innovative techniques. Known for his ambitious project of learning MIT's 4-year computer science curriculum in just one year without attending any classes, Scott has dedicated his career to understanding how we can learn faster, overcome our fears, and achieve mastery in any field.

Join us for an insightful conversation with Scott Young as he shares with us the art and science of ultra learning—how we can master new skills at an accelerated pace and break through the barriers that hold us back. What are the most effective ways to learn quickly and efficiently? How can we overcome the fear of failure and the anxiety that often accompanies new challenges? Scott shares his expert insights into the principles of deliberate practice, the importance of feedback, and the myths that often cloud our understanding of talent and ability.

What to Listen For

Introduction – 00:00:28

How did Scott Young become a leading expert in self-directed learning and skill mastery?
What inspired Scott to tackle the challenge of learning MIT’s 4-year computer science curriculum in just one year without attending any classes?
What are the core ideas behind Scott's books Ultra Learning and Get Better at Anything, and how can they help you master new skills faster?

The Three Pillars of Learning – 00:02:34

What are the three essential steps to mastering any skill?
What examples demonstrate that talent often appears effortless due to extensive practice and refinement?
How can you apply these insights to push past the limits of what you believe is possible for yourself?

Overcoming Fear and Embracing Exposure – 00:10:49

Why is exposure to what you're afraid of critical for overcoming fear and anxiety in learning?
How can gradual exposure to challenging situations, like public speaking or cold calling, help reduce fear over time?
What are some practical strategies to start applying exposure therapy in your personal and professional life?

Unlearning Bad Habits – 00:18:42

What challenges come with unlearning ingrained habits, and how can you effectively replace them with better techniques?
How did AJ’s experience with unlearning a golf swing illustrate the difficulties and importance of relearning a skill the right way?
Why is it sometimes necessary to learn completely new approaches when trying to unlearn bad habits?

The Importance of Simplification in Early Learning – 00:22:21

How does starting with simplified versions of a skill help accelerate the learning process?
What can we learn from flight simulators about the benefits of practicing in a controlled, simplified environment before facing real-world challenges?
Why does beginning with the basics lay a stronger foundation for mastering more complex skills later on?

The Value of Variable Practice – 00:28:04

How does variable practice, or mixing up different types of practice, enhance learning and adaptability?
Why is practicing in varied conditions more effective than repetitive practice, and how can this approach be applied to everyday learning?
What are some examples of variable practice that can be used for skills like language learning, sports, or public speaking?

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The Secret Language Of Emotions | Karla McLaren Sep 09, 2024

In today’s episode, we cover emotions and empathy with Karla McLaren, a renowned expert in emotional intelligence and empathy development. As an award-winning author, educator, and social science researcher, Karla dedicated her career to helping individuals and organizations understand and harness the power of emotions. She developed the "Six Essential Aspects of Empathy" model, which breaks down empathy into accessible and actionable steps, making it possible for everyone to enhance their emotional skills. Karla's books, including "The Language of Emotions," "The Power of Emotions at Work," and "Embracing Anxiety," offer transformative insights into revaluing even the most challenging emotions, turning them into pathways for self-awareness, effective communication, and healthier relationships.

Join us for an enlightening conversation with Karla McLaren as she unpacks the intricate language of emotions and the vital role they play in our daily lives. Ever wondered why certain emotions feel so overpowering or why we struggle to articulate what we're feeling? Karla breaks down the complexities of emotional intelligence and empathy, offering practical tools to expand your emotional vocabulary and improve your communication skills. We explore how emotions are not the enemies of rationality but essential allies in decision-making and relationship-building. Discover how to manage challenging emotions like anger and jealousy, set healthy boundaries, and develop a deeper connection with yourself and others.

What to Listen For

Introduction – 00:00:00

Why do we often feel strong negative emotions even in our most loving relationships?
How does vulnerability play a crucial role in the intensity of emotions experienced in close relationships?
Introduction to Karla McLaren and her journey into exploring the language of emotions and empathy.

Understanding Emotions – 00:02:46

What are emotions, and why are they essential to our rationality and decision-making?
Why is it unhelpful to label emotions as simply ‘good’ or ‘bad’?
How does expanding your emotional vocabulary improve your self-awareness and emotional regulation?

Building an Emotional Vocabulary – 00:05:28

What are the benefits of having a broader emotional vocabulary?
How can identifying the intensity of emotions help you manage them more effectively?
Practical steps to enhance your emotional vocabulary and how it can lead to better communication.

Anger and Boundaries – 00:16:01

What is the true purpose of anger, and how does it relate to setting boundaries?
Common misconceptions about anger and how they can lead to unhealthy expressions or repression.
Strategies for managing anger constructively to maintain and reinforce personal boundaries.

Resist Emotional Manipulation – 00:27:20

What easy questions can you ask yourself to figure out if/how someone is trying to convince you to do something or think a certain way?

The Role of Jealousy – 00:32:36

What triggers jealousy, and why is it considered a crucial social emotion?
How to differentiate between healthy jealousy that sets boundaries and unhealthy reactions driven by insecurity.
Tips on addressing jealousy in relationships through clear communication and understanding personal needs.

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Connection Through Personal Branding | Leslie Zane Sep 02, 2024

In today's episode, we dive into the psychology of influence and brand growth with Leslie Zane, a pioneer in the field of behavioral science and marketing. As the founder and CEO of Triggers Brand Consulting, Leslie has been at the forefront of helping top brands like Coca-Cola, McDonald’s, and Nike accelerate their growth by understanding the subconscious drivers of consumer behavior. With a background that spans behavioral science, marketing, and brand strategy, she is also the author of “The Power of Instinct: The New Rules of Persuasion in Business and Life”, where she reveals how tapping into the instinctive mind can lead to unparalleled success in business and personal branding.

Join us for an eye-opening conversation with Leslie Zane as she reveals the power of the instinctive mind in shaping our decisions and brand preferences. Have you ever wondered why some brands stand out effortlessly while others struggle to make an impact? Leslie uncovers the subconscious drivers that influence our choices and explains how businesses—and individuals—can leverage these insights to gain a competitive edge. Leslie also shares practical tips for crafting a compelling personal brand that resonates on a deeper level. Discover how to tap into the instinctive mind to enhance your influence, master persuasion, and set yourself apart in both your professional and personal life.

What to Listen For

Introduction – 00:00:00

What drove Leslie Zane to pioneer the field of brand connectomes and behavioral science in marketing?
How did Leslie’s early career experiences shape her understanding of consumer behavior and influence her approach to brand consulting?
What are the key principles behind Leslie’s book, The Power of Instinct, and how can they be applied to both personal and business growth?

The Instinctive Mind and Brand Connectome – 00:01:55

What is the instinctive mind, and why does it play a more significant role in decision-making than the conscious mind?
How does the brand connectome influence consumer choices, and why is it crucial for brands to expand their connectome in consumers' minds?
Why do brands need to stand for multiple associations rather than a single attribute to be successful?

Building a Personal Brand with Subconscious Triggers – 00:07:22

How can individuals apply the principles of the brand connectome to develop a strong personal brand?
What are growth triggers, and how can they be used to build positive associations quickly and effectively?
Why is it important to create a holistic personal brand that connects with various aspects of people’s subconscious?

Overcoming Legacy Brand Challenges – 00:11:49

Why do legacy brands have an inherent advantage, and how can new brands compete effectively?
What are some examples of small brands overtaking legacy brands by using strategic triggers and targeted messaging?
How can legacy brands continuously evolve their connectome to stay relevant and combat negative associations?

Actionable Advice for Personal and Professional Growth – 00:21:55

How can listeners apply Leslie’s insights on brand connectomes and subconscious triggers to accelerate their careers and personal growth?
What are the critical steps in building a personal brand that resonates with employers, clients, and networks?
Why is it essential to control your narrative and make strategic connections between your brand and your target audience?

Navigating Negative Associations and Competitive Strategies – 00:29:21

Why are negative associations so powerful, and how can they become significant barriers to brand growth?
How can brands effectively address and replace negative associations with positive triggers?
What competitive strategies can brands use to leverage the relativity principle and contrast against competitors?

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How Evolutionary Forces Impact Your Success | Kristian Rönn Aug 26, 2024

In today's episode, we discuss the hidden forces that shape human behavior and global challenges with Kristian Rönn, a leading thinker in sustainability and evolutionary psychology. As the CEO and cofounder of Normative, Kristian revolutionized how businesses approach sustainability accounting, helping large enterprises achieve their net zero targets. With a rich background in mathematics, philosophy, computer science, and artificial intelligence, he is also the author of "The Darwinian Trap: The Hidden Evolutionary Forces That Explain Our World (and Threaten Our Future)", where he unpacks the evolutionary pitfalls that hinder long-term success and offers insights into how cooperation and high-value behaviors can lead to better decision-making and a brighter future for all.

Join us for a thought-provoking conversation with Kristian Rönn as he uncovers the evolutionary forces that silently shape our world and the challenges we face in both personal and global contexts. How do these hidden forces drive human conflict and short-term thinking? What can we do to avoid the Darwinian traps that hinder long-term success? Kristian shares his deep insights into the psychological underpinnings of our behavior, the impact of competitive pressures on society, and the importance of fostering cooperation to create a better future. Discover actionable strategies to navigate these evolutionary pitfalls, enhance your decision-making, and become a more high-value, cooperative leader in your career and beyond.

What to Listen For

Introduction – 00:00:00

What sparked Kristian Rönn’s passion for understanding the evolutionary forces behind human behavior and global challenges?
How did Kristian’s journey from Oxford’s Future of Humanity Institute to founding Normative shape his perspective on sustainability and global risks?
What is the central thesis of Kristian’s book, The Darwinian Trap, and why is it crucial for our future?

The Darwinian Trap: Evolutionary Forces in Action – 00:06:13

What is the Darwinian Trap, and how does it explain the short-term thinking and conflicts we see in society?
How do evolutionary pressures influence everything from nation-state conflicts to personal career competition?
What are the "Darwinian demons" we must be aware of, and how can they impact decision-making on both a personal and global level?

The Hidden Costs of Short-Term Thinking – 00:24:26

How can short-term evolutionary strategies be both beneficial and harmful in different contexts?
What are some real-world examples of how short-term thinking has led to long-term problems, and how can we avoid these pitfalls?
Why is it easier to destroy than to build, and how does this concept relate to the challenges we face today?

Navigating the Complexities of Modern Society – 00:36:20

How has globalization and the interdependence of nations both helped and hindered global cooperation?
Why is decentralized power important in creating a more equitable and cooperative future?

Building a Better Future: Cooperation and Governance – 00:45:27

How can we overcome the cooperation failures that drive global conflicts and environmental degradation?
What role can reputational markets and decentralized governance play in solving these complex problems?
What are the potential dangers of technological advancements, particularly in AI, and how can we manage these risks responsibly?
What actionable steps can individuals take to contribute to a more collaborative and sustainable world?

Concluding Thoughts and Optimism for the Future – 00:56:23

Despite the challenges, what gives Kristian optimism about the future of humanity and our ability to overcome the Darwinian Trap?
How can meditation and introspection help individuals maintain a positive outlook in the face of global challenges?
Where can listeners learn more about The Darwinian Trap and Kristian Rönn’s work on sustainability and global risks?

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Give to Grow (Invest In Relationships) | Mo Bunnell Aug 19, 2024

In today's episode, we explore the crucial mindset shift from doing the work to winning the work with Mo Bunnell, a renowned business growth expert and founder of the Bunnell Idea Group. With decades of experience helping organizations scale and thrive, Mo has dedicated his career to teaching professionals how to elevate their approach to relationship-building and business development. As the author of "The Snowball System: How to Win More Business and Turn Clients into Raving Fans" and host of the "Real Relationships, Real Revenue" podcast, Mo brings a wealth of knowledge on how small, consistent actions can lead to exponential growth in your career and business.

Join us for an engaging conversation with Mo Bunnell, where he reveals the secrets to shifting from simply doing the work to winning the work in your career. How can you overcome the internal obstacles that hold you back from building meaningful relationships and growing your business? What are the small, consistent habits that can lead to exponential success over time? Mo shares his expert strategies on developing a winning mindset, the art of giving to grow, and the critical shifts in communication that can help you move from being a good performer to a top performer. Discover actionable insights to elevate your career, deepen your professional relationships, and unlock new opportunities in both your business and personal life.

What to Listen For

Introduction – 00:00:00

What inspired Mo Bunnell to focus on the mindset shift from doing the work to winning the work?
How has Mo’s extensive experience in business growth shaped his approach to relationship building and business development?
What key principles from "Give to Grow" can help you elevate your career and business relationships?

The Mindset Shift: Doing the Work vs. Winning the Work – 00:02:16

What is the crucial difference between doing the work and winning the work, and why is it essential for career growth?
How can you start thinking 10x, not 1x, to overcome internal fears and embrace opportunities?
What are the key habits that successful professionals use to transition from a delivery-focused mindset to a growth-oriented one?

Overcoming the Lies That Hold You Back – 00:13:47

What are the five common lies we tell ourselves that hinder our success in relationship building?
How can you identify and counteract these lies to maintain momentum in your career?
Why is it important to act through discomfort and rejection to achieve long-term success?

Integrating Relationship Development with Daily Work – 00:19:47

How can you seamlessly integrate relationship building into your daily tasks without feeling overwhelmed?
What are practical examples of small, consistent actions that can lead to significant career growth?
How can face-to-face interactions dramatically increase your chances of success in building relationships?

The Power of Giving to Grow – 00:31:39

What does it mean to “give to grow,” and how can this mindset transform your professional relationships?
How can you provide value even when you feel you have nothing to give?
What are the four types of gifts you can offer to deepen relationships and create opportunities?

Strategic Giving and Setting Boundaries – 00:43:38

How can you be a strategic giver without getting taken advantage of?
What are the boundaries you need to set to ensure that your giving leads to mutual growth?
How can asking for small commitments from others help you identify who’s worth investing in?

Building Habits for Long-Term Success – 00:51:47

How can you create routines and habits that naturally lead to winning the work?
What is the importance of maintaining a list of key opportunities and relationships, and how can this practice drive your success?
How can focusing on three most important things (MITs) each week create unstoppable momentum in your career?

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Peacemaking and Conflict Resolution In The Modern Age | Steven Collis Aug 12, 2024

In today's episode, we dive into the art of productive discourse, the challenges posed by modern technology, and the 10 essential habits of a peacemaker with Steven T. Collis, a distinguished law professor and expert in First Amendment rights. As a scholar dedicated to understanding and navigating the complexities of free speech and religious liberty, Steven has spent years engaging in some of the most contentious topics of our time. His insightful perspectives have been shared across North America, where he educates audiences on the sophisticated tactics used by social media companies to keep us addicted and the importance of intellectual humility in today's polarized world. In this episode, we explore key insights from his upcoming book, "Habits of a Peacemaker," available this September.

Join us for an insightful conversation with Steven T. Collis, where he discusses the challenges of modern communication and the critical role of peacemaking in today's polarized society. How can we break free from the habits that social media companies have engineered to keep us addicted and instead foster more productive and meaningful discourse? What are the essential habits that can help us navigate difficult conversations and bridge divides? Steven shares his expert insights on cultivating intellectual humility, the power of real learning, and the surprising ways humor can be a tool for connection. Discover practical strategies to become a more effective peacemaker, enhance your relationships, and contribute to a more respectful and understanding world both online and offline.

What to Listen For

Introduction – 00:00:00

What inspired Steven T. Collis to write "Habits of a Peacemaker" and why is peacemaking more important than ever?
How does Steven’s background in First Amendment law influence his approach to productive discourse?
What challenges do modern technologies, especially social media, pose to our ability to engage in meaningful conversations?

The Art of Productive Discourse – 00:03:00

What habits can help you engage in more productive and respectful conversations?
How can you overcome the addictive nature of social media to focus on real learning and intellectual humility?
Why is it important to seek out differing viewpoints, and how can this practice improve your understanding of complex issues?

Social Media's Impact on Communication – 00:10:45

How do social media platforms use psychological techniques from the gambling industry to keep users engaged?
What are the dangers of echo chambers and how can they hinder productive discourse?
What strategies can you use to protect yourself from the negative effects of social media on your communication habits?

Developing Intellectual Humility – 00:16:14

What does it mean to have intellectual humility, and why is it crucial for productive dialogue?
How can you reframe conversations to focus on learning rather than debating?
Why is it important to recognize the limits of your knowledge, especially when discussing complex topics?

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Building Trust In A Cynical World | Jamil Zaki Aug 05, 2024

In today's episode, we explore the rise of cynicism, strategies to cultivate hope, and the crucial difference between skepticism and cynicism with Dr. Jamil Zaki, a distinguished professor of psychology at Stanford University and director of the Stanford Social Neuroscience Laboratory. Dr. Zaki has spent nearly two decades studying how people connect with each other, how these connections benefit us, and how we can improve our ability to connect. His groundbreaking research has been featured in top-tier publications such as The New York Times, The Atlantic, and Scientific American. In this episode, we explore insights from his upcoming book, "Hope for Cynics: The Surprising Science of Human Goodness," available this September.

Join us for an engaging conversation with Dr. Jamil Zaki, where he unpacks the rise of cynicism and offers practical strategies to foster hope and trust. How can you recognize and combat your own cynical tendencies in a world that often feels increasingly distrustful? What are the key differences between healthy skepticism and detrimental cynicism? Dr. Zaki shares his expert insights on cultivating a more positive outlook, drawing from his extensive research and groundbreaking work. Discover effective strategies to nurture hope, improve your relationships, and create a more trusting and cooperative environment both personally and professionally.

What to Listen For

Introduction – 00:00:00
How does Dr. Jamil Zaki's extensive background in psychology and social neuroscience inform his approach to combating cynicism?
What personal experiences inspired Dr. Zaki to focus on the rise of cynicism in his research?
How does Dr. Zaki define cynicism and its impact on both personal and professional relationships?

Recognizing and Combating Personal Cynicism – 00:06:28
What are the key differences between healthy skepticism and harmful cynicism?
What strategies can you use to cultivate a more hopeful and trusting mindset?

The Contagion of Cynicism – 00:13:45
In what ways is cynicism contagious, and how does it spread through groups and organizations?
How can you counteract the spread of cynicism within your own social and professional networks?
How does organizational cynicism from leaders affect employees and company culture?
What are the consequences of micromanagement and lack of trust in a work environment?

Strategies to Foster Hope and Trust – 00:18:04
How can you build trust and positivity within your immediate team or social circle?

Demographic Trends in Cynicism – 00:24:27
How can you identify your own cynical tendencies?
What demographic groups are experiencing the highest rise in cynicism, and why?
How do generational differences impact levels of trust and cynicism?
What are the implications of increasing cynicism among younger generations for the future of society?
What factors contribute to the increasing levels of cynicism in today's society?
How have historical trends and recent events, such as the pandemic, influenced collective trust and cynicism?

Cultivating Hope and Trust – 00:34:14
How does Dr. Zaki differentiate between hope and optimism?
What are practical steps to foster hope and maintain a positive outlook?
How can you support friends and family members who are struggling with cynicism?
What is the concept of "trusting loudly," and how can it enhance your relationships?
How can collecting more social data help you challenge and overcome negative assumptions about others?

Final Thoughts and Resources – 00:45:34
Where can listeners learn more about Dr. Jamil Zaki's research and his new book, "Hope for Cynics"?
What additional resources are available for those looking to improve their social and emotional health?
How can listeners apply the insights from this episode to their own lives and relationships?

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3 Powerful Tips to Boost Your Social Health | Kasley Killam Jul 29, 2024

In today's episode, we explore the vital importance of social health, strategies to foster meaningful connections, and the transformative power of relationships with Kasley Killam, a renowned expert in social health and connection. Kasley has dedicated over a decade to advancing global well-being through her work with organizations like Google, the US Department of Health and Human Services, and the World Economic Forum. Her insights have been featured in prestigious publications such as The New York Times, Scientific American, and Psychology Today. In this episode, we uncover key takeaways from her book, "The Art and Science of Connection: Why Social Health is the Missing Key to Living Longer, Healthier, and Happier," available now.

Join us for an insightful conversation with Kasley Killam, where she explores the essential components of social health and the art of building meaningful connections. How can you enhance your social well-being in a world increasingly driven by technology and individualism? What are the fundamental practices to nurture quality relationships that truly enrich your life? Kasley shares her expert strategies for assessing and improving your social health, drawing from her extensive research and impactful work. Discover the transformative 531 guideline for social connection and the steps to integrate diverse, fulfilling relationships into your daily life.

What to Listen For

Introduction – 00:00:27

How does Kasley Killam's extensive background in social health and public health shape her approach to building meaningful connections?
What inspired Kasley to focus on social health and connection in her career?
How does Kasley define the concept of social health and its significance in today’s society?

How Can You Understand and Improve Your Social Health? – 00:02:15

Why does Kasley believe that social health is as important as physical and mental health?
How can you accurately assess your own social health?
What are the three core characteristics of being socially healthy?

How Does Technology Impact Your Social Health? – 00:10:28

How does technology influence our social health, both positively and negatively?
What are the pitfalls of relying too much on technology for social connections?
How can you use technology thoughtfully to enhance your social health?

What is the 531 Guideline and How Can It Transform Your Life? – 00:19:22

What is the 531 guideline and how can it help improve your social health?
How can you implement the 531 guideline in your daily life?
What are some practical examples of connecting with five different people each week?
How do you bring connection back into your life if you feel isolated?
What are the signs that the relationships you are in are not mutually beneficial and holding you back?

Why Should You Cultivate Diverse Relationships? – 00:36:18

Why is it important to have a diverse social portfolio?
How do connections with people from different backgrounds and cultures benefit your social health?
What steps can you take to build and maintain diverse relationships?

How Can You Prioritize Connection in a Busy Life? – 00:41:14

What small steps can you take to weave connection into your busy schedule?
How can you be present and prioritize quality over quantity in your interactions?
Why is it essential to balance alone time and social time, especially for introverts?

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The Art of Negotiation: The Balcony and The Bridge | Dr. William Ury Jul 22, 2024

In today's episode, we explore the art of conflict resolution, negotiation strategies, and transforming challenging relationships with Dr. William Ury, a distinguished expert in the field of negotiation and conflict mediation. Dr. Ury is the co-founder of Harvard's Program on Negotiation and has nearly 50 years of experience in resolving some of the world's toughest conflicts. His seminal works include the bestsellers "Getting to Yes" and "Getting Past No," which have sold over 5 million copies worldwide. In this episode, we explore insights from his latest book, "Possible: How We Survive (and Thrive) in an Age of Conflict," available now.

Join us for an enlightening discussion with Dr. William Ury, where he unravels the nuances of conflict resolution and high-stakes negotiation. How can you turn a seemingly insurmountable conflict into a collaborative opportunity? What are the key techniques to prepare yourself mentally and emotionally for tough negotiations? Dr. Ury shares his top strategies for avoiding common negotiation pitfalls and engaging constructively, drawing from his vast experience and groundbreaking work. Discover how to build a "golden bridge" in negotiations and the essential steps to transforming difficult relationships into productive partnerships.

What to Listen For

Introduction – 00:00

How does Dr. William Ury's extensive background in negotiation and anthropology shape his approach to conflict resolution?
What drew Dr. Ury to the field of negotiation and conflict mediation early in his career?
How does Dr. Ury define the concept of a "possibilist" and its significance in today's world?

Understanding Conflict – 05:02

Why does Dr. Ury believe that more conflict is necessary for growth and change?
How does he differentiate between destructive and constructive conflict?
What is the importance of "going to the balcony" in managing conflict effectively?

The Power of Pausing – 13:04

What role does pausing play in reducing emotional reactivity during negotiations?
How can the simple act of pausing transform a negotiation's outcome?
What is the magic question you can use to find the best compromise in a negotiation?

Building the Golden Bridge – 25:15

What is the "golden bridge" strategy and how can it facilitate successful negotiations?
How does listening actively help in building a golden bridge for the other side?
Why is it crucial to understand your own objectives and the underlying interests behind them?
How can you prepare effectively for a negotiation by considering the other side’s perspective?

What You Must Avoid in Negotiations – 30:14

What are the three common pitfalls in negotiation and how can you avoid them?
What steps can you take to create a collaborative atmosphere in negotiations?

Leveraging Curiosity and Creativity – 33:21

How does curiosity drive creativity in finding solutions during negotiations?
What are some effective "what if" questions to ask that open up new possibilities?
How can separating evaluation from creation enhance the brainstorming process in negotiations?

Transforming Relationships through Conflict – 39:31

How does engaging in conflict with curiosity and respect transform relationships?
Why is focusing on long-term relationship building more beneficial than seeking short-term wins?
How can understanding and articulating mutual interests lead to successful conflict resolution?

The Victory Speech Exercise – 52:23

What is the "victory speech" exercise and how can it shift the negotiation dynamic?
How did Dr. Ury use this exercise to help de-escalate tensions between Donald Trump and Kim Jong Un?
Why is envisioning the other side’s victory speech a powerful tool in negotiation?

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Accelerate Your Career & Grow Your Network | Dr. Tessa West Jul 15, 2024

In today's episode, we dive into the intricacies of workplace dynamics, career satisfaction, and professional growth with Tessa West, a leading expert in the science of interpersonal communication. Tessa is a professor of psychology at New York University and one of the world's top researchers on social perception. Her acclaimed work includes the books "Jerks at Work: Toxic Coworkers and What to Do About Them" and her latest release, "Job Therapy: Finding Work That Works for You" available July 23, 2024.

Join us for an insightful conversation with Tessa West, where she unpacks the complexities of workplace dynamics and career satisfaction. How can you turn a difficult coworker into an ally? What are the exact questions to ask when networking to ensure you land the best job offers? Tessa shares her top strategies for identifying the top 5 career frustrations and navigating them effectively, drawing from her extensive research and personal experiences. Discover how to leverage your network in salary negotiations and the critical steps to finding work that truly fulfills you.

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
How does Tessa West's background in social perception and psychology inform her insights on workplace dynamics?
What are the psychological tensions people experience at work that Tessa identifies in her book?
How can fear of uncertainty and status loss impact career decisions?

The Five Key Drivers of Career Frustration – [00:11:59]
What are the top sources of career frustration that Tessa outlines in "Job Therapy"?
How can understanding these drivers help in navigating career satisfaction?

Balancing Fulfillment and Compensation – [00:17:14]
What are the common trade-offs between career fulfillment and financial security?
How does being embedded at work complicate career changes and personal fulfillment?
How can strong team cohesion negatively impact individual recognition and promotion prospects?

Strategic Networking for Career Growth – [00:26:45]
What specific questions should you ask when networking to explore career fit?
How can you create a coherent and compelling narrative of your career journey?
What are the risks of taking on non-promotion-relevant roles in search of fulfillment?

Articulating Your Contribution to Company Outcomes – [00:38:02]
Why is it crucial to understand and articulate how your work contributes to broader company goals?
How can you effectively communicate your role in achieving company outcomes?
What is the importance of having a broad network beyond your immediate workplace?
How can networking outside your organization enhance your career prospects?

Asking Tough Questions During Networking – [00:45:15]
Why should you ask tough questions about status and promotion prospects when networking?
How can feedback from former colleagues provide insights into your career advancement?

Effective Networking Strategies – [00:51:27]
What practical advice does Tessa give for effective networking?
How can you approach potential contacts and ask the right questions to build meaningful connections?

Insightful Questions During Job Interviews – [00:56:07]
Why insightful questions should you ask during a job interview?
What specific questions can help you ensure a good fit with a potential employer?
How can embracing awkwardness and having tough conversations lead to finding fulfilling work?

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Emotional Intelligence with Former Spy | Dave Fielding Jul 08, 2024

In today’s episode, we explore the complex intersections of military service, intelligence work, and mental health with Dave Fielding, a decorated US Army Green Beret turned intelligence officer and mental health advocate. David's distinguished career includes service in high-stakes operations such as Operation Inherent Resolve and Operation Enduring Freedom, earning him a Bronze Star. As the author of Into the Darkness: A Journey of Love, War, and Emotional Freedom, David brings a unique perspective on emotional intelligence, the struggles of returning to civilian life, and the silent battles faced by veterans.

Join us for an enlightening conversation with Dave Fielding, where he unveils powerful strategies for navigating the challenges of military life and transitioning to civilian life. How can emotional intelligence transform your relationships and leadership skills? What are the secrets to building rapid rapport across diverse cultures? David shares his personal battle with suicidal thoughts and how he overcame them, offering invaluable insights for those struggling with similar issues. Discover the significance of understanding motivations and learn practical advice that can help you foster stronger connections. Don't miss this episode, filled with heartfelt stories and actionable tips.

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
How does David Fielding's unique background shape his perspective on emotional intelligence and mental health?
What pivotal moments in David's career as a Green Beret and intelligence officer define his journey?

The Green Beret Secret to Building Rapid Rapport – 12:40
How can understanding motivations help you build instant connections with others?
What techniques does David use to create deep connections across diverse cultures?

How to Overcome Your Darkest Struggles – 17:40
Why did Dave go from Special Forces to mental health advocacy and what was that shift like?
What strategies did David employ to overcome his suicidal thoughts?
How can others facing similar struggles find their way out of the darkness?

How to Reframe Challenges into Life Changing Opportunities – 33:13
How can reframing your perspective help you tackle seemingly insurmountable challenges?
What practical steps can you take to reframe and find meaning in difficult situations?

The Power of Understanding Motivations – 43:16
How can understanding the motivations of others improve your leadership and relationships?
David discusses the significance of asking “why” in conversations.

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Secrets to Building Habits That Stick | BJ Fogg Jul 01, 2024

In today’s episode, we delve into the fascinating world of behavior design with BJ Fogg, a renowned behavior scientist and founder of the Behavior Design Lab at Stanford University. BJ’s pioneering work focuses on understanding and influencing human behavior through innovative models and methods. His groundbreaking research, including the widely acclaimed Fogg Behavior Model and the Tiny Habits method, has been featured in prominent publications such as The New York Times and Forbes. BJ shares his insights on how tiny changes can lead to significant transformations, debunks common myths about habit formation, and offers practical strategies for creating lasting positive behaviors.

Join us for an insightful conversation with BJ Fogg, where he reveals the secrets to designing behaviors that lead to lasting change. Discover how tiny habits can transform your life, why common myths about habit formation are misleading, and how to create positive habits effortlessly. Plus, explore the importance of celebration and positive emotions in reinforcing new behaviors. Don't miss this episode packed with practical tips and strategies to help you build habits that stick and achieve your goals!

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
What are the most common myths about habit formation and why they are misleading?
What are tiny habits and how can they lead to significant changes?
Practical examples of tiny habits you can implement in your daily life.

How can you leverage your emotions to rapidly create great habits – 10:57
Why are positive emotions crucial for habit formation?
The concept of celebration and how it accelerates habit development.

Practical Application of Tiny Habits – 16:01
How do you design tiny habits into your existing routines?
Real-life examples of how tiny habits can transform your behavior.

The Secret to Breaking Bad Habits – 32:30
Strategies for untangling bad habits and creating lasting change.
The three phases of the Behavior Change Master Plan.

Technology and Behavior Change – 43:01
How does technology positively and negatively impact your habits?
Practical tips for managing screen time and fostering positive behaviors.

Tiny Habits for Kids – 49:20
How parents can use tiny habits to instill good behaviors in children.
The importance of creating an environment that celebrates and reinforces positive change.

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How AI is Transforming Modern Dating | Liesel Sharabi Jun 24, 2024

In today’s episode, we explore high-value dating with Liesel Sharabi, an associate professor and Director of the Relationships and Technology Lab at Arizona State University. Liesel’s research delves into the impact of communication technologies on romantic relationships, particularly through online dating and mobile apps. Her work, featured in top journals and media outlets like The Wall Street Journal and NPR, examines how AI and virtual reality are reshaping modern romance. Liesel shares her expertise on creating authentic online profiles, managing choice overload, setting realistic expectations, and using AI to find meaningful connections.

Join us for an insightful conversation with Liesel Sharabi, where she reveals the secrets to creating an authentic online dating profile that ignites meaningful connections. Discover how to navigate the overwhelming choices on dating apps to make better decisions, manage your expectations, and find serious relationships in the digital world. Plus, explore the game-changing role of AI in modern dating. Don't miss this episode packed with tips and strategies to enhance your online dating experience!

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
Who is Liesel Sharabi, and how did she get involved in the world of dating at an academic level?
How did online dating change the way we perceive dating and what we look for in potential partners?

The Hidden Impact of Dating Apps on Long Term Relationships – 13:51
How are dating apps hurting your ability to connect on a deeper level with potential partners?
What mindset should you adopt if you actually want to find a partner on dating apps and not get stuck in an endless loop of matches that don’t go anywhere?

Is more technology really the solution to the dating hellscape – 23:45
What are companies in the dating “industry” doing to solve the problems many people are encountering around loneliness and how are those “solutions” making things worse?
Should you use AI to improve your results on dating apps?

Are people still meeting other people in real life? – 31:14
What is easier about starting relationships with people you meet in real life and what is harder about starting relationships with people you meet online?
How have dating apps changed cultural norms and expectations for each gender?

The effects of dating apps on marriage/divorce rates – 41:39
How have dating apps changed the landscape of marriage and long term commitment?
What does the future of dating and dating apps look like, and how can you prepare for it?

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The High Value Effect | Toolbox Jun 17, 2024

In today’s episode, we help you avoid low value behaviors and master high value ones with AJ and Johnny.

In this episode of The Art of Charm, AJ and Johnny delve into the dynamics of high and low value behaviors and their impact on your personal and professional relationships. Ever wondered how to take control of your social interactions and ensure they lead to meaningful connections? AJ and Johnny explore the crucial distinctions between high value and low value behaviors, offering practical insights on how to elevate your social value. Learn how to harness the power of responsibility and cooperation, and discover why honesty and generosity are pivotal in forming strong, lasting relationships. How can you balance being cooperative without being taken advantage of? What steps can you take to become a high value individual in every aspect of your life? Tune in to uncover actionable strategies backed by science and real-life experiences to transform your interactions and boost your value.

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
How do you identify patterns of high and low value behaviors in yourself and others, and what can you do to change those behaviors in yourself?
What specific behaviors lead to long-term success and positive relationships?

The 3 low value behaviors you must avoid – 5:36
How to navigate social interactions by giving value and avoiding common pitfalls.
What behaviors consistently build strong relationships?

The role of attention in building value – 10:14
What is the most powerful (and easiest) form of value you can give when talking to someone?
What two behaviors transform your social interactions?

Most people miss the connection between value and responsibility – 18:30
Why do high value people seek out more responsibility than everyone else?
How do low value people avoid responsibility to shift blame when things go wrong?

This one thing is crucial if you want to be high value – 23:52
How does honesty build trust and strengthen relationships?
What are the detrimental effects of lying and manipulation on your value and relationships?

The long-term benefits of giving value – 28:15
Real-life examples of how giving value without expecting immediate returns can lead to significant long-term benefits.
How do you build a supportive social circle that pushes you to succeed and helps you out when you’re going through tough times?

Practical Tips for Giving Value – 40:58
Simple and practical ways to give value in everyday interactions.
Examples of how giving value can lead to unexpected rewards and strengthen relationships.

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Transform Low-Value Behaviors into High-Value Habits | Toolbox Jun 10, 2024

In today’s episode, we help you identify and avoid low value behaviors with AJ and Johnny.

In this episode of The Art of Charm, AJ and Johnny dive deep into the psychology of value and behavior. Have you ever wondered if your actions unknowingly sabotage your social interactions? What behaviors might be holding you back from forming meaningful connections? AJ and Johnny explore how to identify and eliminate low value behaviors that keep you from connecting with others. Discover the three critical elements of value—attention, approval, and acceptance—and learn how to nurture high value behaviors that attract positive relationships. What does the science say about the benefits of being a high value individual? How can you balance being generous without being taken advantage of?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
Why is understanding value important in forming meaningful connections?
What will you learn about identifying and eliminating low value behaviors?

What are low value behaviors you need to avoid? – 02:08
What are supplicative behaviors, and how do they manifest in social interactions?
How does the victim mentality negatively impact your value?
Why is it important to avoid combative behaviors, and how can they harm your relationships?

The dangers of social media most people ignore – 14:06
How does social media manipulate our need for attention, approval, and acceptance?
What are the dangers of seeking validation through social media?

Most people fail to escape this mindset that cripples them – 24:48
Why is a competitive mindset still considered low value?
How does the scarcity mindset fuel unhealthy competition?
What are the pitfalls of constantly comparing yourself to others?

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Ways To Win | Craig Robinson Jun 03, 2024

In today’s episode, we dive into the dynamic world of sports and leadership with Craig Robinson. Craig is a distinguished college basketball coach, basketball executive, and podcaster. A former standout player at Princeton, he was twice named Ivy League Player of the Year. Transitioning from a successful finance career, Craig pursued his passion for coaching, leading teams at Boston University and Oregon State University. He has held executive roles with the New York Knicks and Milwaukee Bucks and is now the Executive Director of the National Association of Basketball Coaches. Craig co-hosts the podcast "Ways to Win" with John Calipari, sharing life lessons and strategies from his extensive on-court experience, making his insights valuable beyond the basketball world.

Craig Robinson shares his insights on the evolving landscape of leadership and coaching. How has the role of empathy and communication transformed modern coaching? What strategies can you use to build momentum in both your personal and professional life? Craig also delves into his courageous transition from a successful finance career to pursuing his passion for coaching—what challenges did he face, and what rewards did he reap? Additionally, discover practical advice on how to identify and nurture young leaders, manage setbacks effectively, and leverage likability to foster team cohesion. Join us as we uncover these answers and more with Craig Robinson, a leader whose experience spans from the basketball court to the executive office.

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
Who is Craig Robinson, and how has his diverse career from finance to coaching shaped his approach to leadership?
What are the key differences between the authoritarian coaching styles of the past and the empathetic approaches of today?
What motivated Craig to transition from a successful finance career to coaching basketball?

Empathy and Communication in Leadership – 19:27
Why is empathy crucial for modern leaders and coaches?
How can understanding and meeting people where they are enhance your effectiveness as a leader?

Insights from "Ways to Win" Podcast – 25:38
Key takeaways from Craig’s podcast, including building personal relationships with team members and creating a culture of accountability.
Lessons from prominent guests like Dave Roberts and Dawn Staley on leadership and team dynamics.

Identifying and Nurturing Young Leaders – 30:29
What attributes and talents should you look for when identifying potential young leaders?
Strategies for nurturing and developing leadership skills in young individuals.

Managing Setbacks and Defeat – 34:17
How can you quickly recover from setbacks and losses in both sports and professional environments?
Practical advice on managing the psychological impact of defeat and maintaining a forward-looking mindset.

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The Laws of Connection | David Robson May 27, 2024

In today’s episode, we dive into the world of human connection with David Robson. David is an award-winning writer specializing in the psychology and neuroscience of human relationships. With a rich background in scientific journalism and a degree in mathematics from the University of Cambridge, David has dedicated his career to exploring the intricate ways we bond and interact with each other. His work has been widely recognized and featured in top-tier publications such as The Guardian, The Atlantic, and BBC Future. David is also the author of The Laws of Connection, a profound exploration into the science behind how we form lasting connections.

In today’s episode, David Robson reveals the secrets to building stronger social connections through the latest psychological research. He explains the profound impact of social ties on our physical health, the importance of overcoming the "liking gap," and how to effectively use follow-up questions to create shared realities. David also shares strategies for rebuilding our social skills post-pandemic, the power of expressing appreciation, and how the Benjamin Franklin effect can strengthen our relationships.

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
Who is David Robson, and how can his insights on human connection and psychology transform your personal and professional relationships?
How do social connections affect your health, and what diseases can they help protect against?
Why is it important to recognize and manage ambivalent relationships effectively?

What barriers prevent you from connecting with others – 10:40
What is the "liking gap," and how does it prevent you from forming deeper connections?
How can you recalibrate your perceptions to overcome these psychological barriers?

What questions can you ask to rapidly build deep connections? – 24:24
What types of questions are most effective for building deeper connections?
How can you move past small talk quickly to create meaningful conversations?
What overlooked expression can drastically improve your relationship with anyone at work and in your personal life?

How can you rebuild your social skills post-pandemic? – 47:51
How has the pandemic affected our social skills, and what strategies can help you rebuild them?
Why is practicing daily interactions with strangers crucial for maintaining social confidence?

What is the Benjamin Franklin Effect and how can it strengthen relationships? – 51:30
What is the Benjamin Franklin effect, and how can asking for small favors strengthen your relationships?
How can you apply this effect in your daily life to enhance your social bonds?

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3 Questions to Build Intimacy & Deepen Relationships | Topaz Adizes May 20, 2024

In today’s episode, we tackle the art of building deep connections with Topaz Adizes. Topaz is an Emmy award-winning director, writer, and experienced design architect. With a background in philosophy from UC Berkeley and Oxford University, Topaz has made significant contributions to the fields of intimacy and human connection through his groundbreaking project, The And. His work has been showcased at prestigious festivals such as Cannes and Sundance, and featured in top publications like The New Yorker and The New York Times. Topaz is also the author of 12 Questions for Love: A Guide to Intimate Conversations and Deeper Relationships.

In today’s episode, Topaz Adizes shares why questions are so powerful for creating deep bonds, how to create space for intimate conversations in our lives, when to bring logic in to deepen a relationship conversation, and the secret to developing emotional articulation with your partner.

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
Who is Topaz Adizes, and how can his insights on communication and relationships transform your career and personal life?
How can asking the right questions unlock deeper connections and enhance your leadership skills?
What’s the secret to creating a space where your team or partner feels safe to be vulnerable and authentic?

Surprising revelations from over 1200 intimate conversations – 11:00
What surprising revelations did Topaz uncover from over 1200 intimate conversations, and how can they apply to your high-stakes professional environment?

Practical tips for emotional articulation – 20:15
How can mastering emotional articulation make you a more effective leader and improve your team’s performance?
What are the 12 questions that can revolutionize your personal and professional relationships, and how should you use them?

Real-life applications that will change your life – 32:29
How have others used Topaz’s methods to transform their relationships and careers, and what can you learn from their experiences?
How can you create intentional spaces for deep conversations that foster trust and innovation within your team?

Lessons on communication that no one tells us – 45:11
What techniques can you use to enhance your communication skills and build stronger connections with your team and loved ones?
How do different cultures approach intimate conversations, and what can you learn from their methods to improve your own interactions?
Why is it crucial to ask better questions in your professional and personal life, and how can this practice accelerate your career growth?

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3 Steps For Building Friendships As An Adult May 13, 2024

In today’s episode, we tackle making friends as an adult with AJ, Johnny, and coach Michael Herold.

Delve into the complexities of making and maintaining friendships as an adult. Why do many adults struggle with loneliness and how can propinquity—or the strategic use of proximity—open doors to new and lasting connections? Whether you're a seasoned professional or a social novice, this episode offers actionable strategies to enhance your social life and deepen your relationships. Tune in to discover how you can turn social opportunities into a thriving network of genuine connections, and learn why mastering the Art of Charm is more essential today than ever before.

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
How can understanding propinquity transform your approach to forming social connections?
What alarming trends about loneliness were revealed in recent global surveys?

How do you start building new relationships and make new friends? – 11:24
How does remote work affect team cohesion and personal relationships at work?
What scientific principles can help in forming deep and lasting friendships?

Many underestimate the value of this when it comes to making friends – 24:38
How can re-engaging with old hobbies or exploring new passions rejuvenate your social life?
What practical steps can you take to weave social opportunities into your everyday activities?

What are you doing to push new people away from being your friend? – 34:06
How can recognizing and reducing friction in social interactions facilitate the formation of friendships?
What practical steps can you take to lessen the burden on potential friends and make it easier for them to engage with you?

How do develop a plan for a vibrant social life – 28:32
What are the benefits of having a structured plan for social interactions?
How does consistency in social activities lead to stronger and more meaningful relationships?
What practical steps can you take to lessen the burden on potential friends and make it easier for them to engage with you?

Introducing the Social Sales Funnel Concept – 44:55
What is the Social Sales Funnel, and how can it help you build a thriving social network?
How can hosting a monthly event streamline the process of turning acquaintances into friends?
What strategies can ensure the success of such gatherings, encouraging new connections to flourish?

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Avoid Regret and Find Your Alive Zones | Jodi Wellman May 06, 2024

In today’s episode, we tackle death with Jodi Wellman. Jodi is a former executive turned executive coach. She has a Master of Applied Positive Psychology from the University of Pennsylvania, where she's an instructor in the master's program and a trainer in the world renowned Penn Resilience Program. And she is the author of You Only Die Once: How to Make It to the End with No Regrets.

Jodi Wellman reveals essential strategies for transforming your professional stagnation into dynamic success and underscores the importance of quantifying your remaining Monday mornings to infuse purpose into your career, eliminating regrets before they hinder your progress.

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
How can thinking about death enhance your career and life ambitions?
Why should you calculate how many Mondays you have left?

Focus on this to improve your performance and happiness at work – 10:15
Gain insights on the value of time and how precise awareness of it can enhance your decision-making and prioritization at the managerial or C-suite level

Most people are held back from success by their ‘dead zones’ – 18:10
What are 'dead zones' and how can identifying them transform your professional growth and personal fulfillment?
How can facing the reality of mortality inspire urgent career and personal development?

How does the pandemic influence our perception of time and opportunities for growth? – 26:17
Understand the psychological impacts of COVID-19 on our ambitions and social interactions, with tips for re-engaging with life and work post-pandemic.

How do you bake your own 'happiness pie' and take charge of your life satisfaction? – 31:19
How do you start moving from 'dead zones' to 'astonishingly alive zones'?

How can the concept of fighting for your life goals redefine your approach to career and personal ambitions? – 42:39
What is the importance of self-compassion and forgiveness in pursuing a life without regrets?

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Harness Your Unconscious Mind for Success | Dr. James Doty Apr 29, 2024

In today’s episode, we tackle mind magic and manifestation with Dr. James Doty. James is an inventor, an entrepreneur, and philanthropist. He is a clinical professor of neurosurgery at Stanford University and the founder and director of Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education with the Dalai Lama himself as the founding benefactor. His new book is titled Mind Magic: The Neuroscience of Manifestation and How It Changes Everything.

We break down the systems in the brain responsible for shaping your beliefs and actions, how you can harness the power of your subconscious mind to reach your goals faster, why you need to visualize your success in detail to make it a reality, And James shares his own experiences with the magic of our mind.

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
What is mind magic and what does science say about the legitimacy of manifestation?

This is where most people go wrong trying to manifest their desires – 10:15
Where do most of us go wrong with manifestation versus what should we be focusing on with our manifestation to actually be whole, to be living a rich and fulfilling life?
How can we use our neural networks to increase the chances of manifesting what we want?

The secret to focusing in a world of neverending distractions – 24:17
How are self-compassion, focus, and manifestation linked together?
How should you define success if you are trying to manifest success for yourself or others?

What should you focus on if you want to manifest what you want – 34:21
What is the most important aspect of life you need to focus on if you want physical and mental health and a long life?

How does commitment to action transform intentions into reality? – 39:06

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Advanced Negotiation Tactics from a Hostage Negotiator | Scott Walker Apr 22, 2024

In today’s episode, we tackle the world of high stakes hostage negotiation in a divided world with Scott Walker. Scott is one of the world’s most experienced kidnapped-for-ransom negotiators. He served 16 years as a Scotland Yard detective specializing in covert policing, then supported organizations, governments, and private individuals in negotiating the release of hostages all over the world, and is the author of his the latest book, Order Out of Chaos: A Kidnap Negotiator's Guide to Influence and Persuasion.

You’re going to learn how to prepare for high stakes situations like a hostage negotiator. We discuss how to quickly build rapport with people that you do not share common interests with, what to listen for in negotiations to create a winning outcome, how to develop your emotional intelligence to be successful under stress, and the secrets hostage negotiators use to bring back hostages safely.

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
How frequently do people get kidnapped and held for ransom?
What are the biggest challenges that hostage negotiators face?

The first 30 seconds of a hostage situation are crucial for this reason – 15:53
What secret do hostage negotiators use to rapidly build trust with anyone?
What 30 second practice do hostage negotiators use to prepare themselves for every high stakes situation?

What consequences do kidnappers actually face? – 24:25
How do you cultivate the right mindset to be a master negotiator?
What can you do to predict the biggest hurdles you’ll need to overcome in any negotiation?
What are the 3 elements to every negotiation and how can you use them in your everyday life to build strong relationships?

Most people mistakenly think this is when the negotiation ends – 39:34
How should you think about negotiations on a short- and long-term basis to make sure you don’t hurt your reputation or future potential opportunities?

Hostage negotiators have to care about the kidnappers – 48:36
How do hostage negotiators raise their self awareness before entering high stakes situations?
How do you master your emotions like a hostage negotiator by simply asking yourself specific questions?
What are the biggest takeaways from Order Out of Chaos: A Kidnap Negotiator's Guide to Influence and Persuasion?

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Networking & Relationships in a Polarized World | Kurt Gray Apr 15, 2024

In today’s episode, we tackle building relationships in a divided world with Dr. Kurt Gray. Kurt is an award-winning researcher and moral psychologist with deep insights into human behavior and polarization. As a professor at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, he directs the Deepest Beliefs Lab and the Center for the Science of Moral Understanding. He is also the author of The Mind Club: Who Thinks, What Feels, and Why It Matters, exploring the intricacies of how we perceive and judge others in society.

Have you ever considered how rising polarization affects our ability to forge strong, meaningful relationships? What if bridging the vast divide between differing viewpoints could be achieved by examining our moral compass and the inherent blind spots it creates? Dive into a compelling discussion with Dr. Kurt Gray, who sheds light on the subtle yet profound ways morality shapes our perceptions of others.

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
What are Dr. Gray's strategies for strengthening relationships across ideological divides?
How do our default settings of fear and the search for allies affect our political and social views?

This is why most people can’t engage in tough conversations – 14:09
Why is it challenging to discuss politics and morality today?
What are the key strategies for overcoming polarization and enhancing communication in today's divided world?

The secret to bridging political polarization – 24:38
Why is validating someone's views crucial in conversations, and how can it be done without agreeing?
Why are personal stories more powerful than facts in changing perspectives?

The evolving nature of political identities – 36:17
How have our political identities evolved over time, and what does that mean for our current views?
How significant is the overlap of values shared between different political parties, and why is it often overlooked?
What misconceptions do we hold about political polarization, and how can understanding the past help us better navigate the present?

The predator vs prey narrative in politics – 47:17
How does viewing political opponents as predators or prey affect our ability to engage in meaningful conversations?
What are the 3 steps to connecting with people who you disagree with?

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Next Level Listening (The Ask Approach) | Jeff Wetzler Apr 08, 2024

In today’s episode, we tackle the Ask Approach with Jeff Wetzler. Jeff is a world expert in learning and human potential, has more than 25 years' experience in business and education as a management consultant at the world's top organizations, and is the author of his latest book, Ask: Tap Into the Hidden Wisdom of People Around You for Unexpected Breakthroughs In Leadership and Life.

Have you ever pondered why analytical thinkers often find themselves at a crossroads in communication and networking? What if the key to unlocking exceptional leadership and life-changing relationships lies in the questions we ask? How can shifting our approach from problem-solving to curiosity-driven conversations revolutionize our connections? Dive deep with us as we explore the Ask Approach, a transformative framework designed to bridge the gap between analytical prowess and emotional intelligence.

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
Who is Jeff Wetzler, and how can his "Ask Approach" transform your leadership skills and life?
What holds people back from sharing vital information, and how does it affect decision-making?

The secret to strengthening your curiosity muscle – 10:52
Why is curiosity essential for building stronger personal and professional relationships?
How can curiosity unlock problem-solving and collaboration in the workplace?

Make people feel safe enough to tell you anything – 17:41
What can you do if you want to make people feel safe and comfortable telling you information they normally would not?

How to start on the right foot in a new management position – 24:29
What questions can you ask to make sure your team feels safe following your leadership and comfortable enough to help you understand where the weaknesses are in the organization?

Is it possible to ask too many questions – 34:14
What types of questions foster deeper understanding?
How can you listen more effectively?
How can reflecting and reconnecting based on conversations enhance your communication skills?

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Mind Reading & Instant Connections | Dr. Nicholas Epley Apr 01, 2024

In today’s episode, we tackle attachment with Nicholas Epley. Nick is an expert on human behavior and decision making, a professor of behavioral science and faculty director for decision research at the University of Chicago Booth School of Business, the author of the highly acclaimed book Mindwise: Why We Misunderstand What Others Think, Believe, Feel, and Want.

Ever wonder why some people excel in social situations while others struggle? How can understanding the biases that lead us to believe we're effective mind readers of friends and strangers alike transform our interactions? And what simple strategies can we employ to build real connections quickly? Join us as Nick Epley sheds light on these intriguing questions, offering insights from his acclaimed book "Mindwise" and revealing the secret to truly understanding what others think, believe, feel, and want.

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
What is the biggest problem that stops us from being able to better understand and predict what other people think?
How well do we really know what others think and feel?

Dispelling the biggest myth about our brains – 13:36
Why does the biggest myth about how we use our brains continue to persist and why is it wrong?
How does perspective drastically change one person’s understanding of a situation and what can you do to alleviate the inevitable friction that difference in perspective causes?

The biggest hurdles most people struggle with when reading minds – 18:55
What are the dangers of typing vs. talking in our ability to convey sarcasm and understand each other?
How does our prediction of future behaviors or reactions in extreme situations often mislead us?
When are stereotypes useful and when are they harmful?

Dispelling the biggest myth about political polarization – 35:47
Is the country actually becoming more polarized politically or is something else going on that makes us think we’re becoming more polarized?

The importance of direct communication most people miss – 41:59
What is the best way to make any interaction with a stranger into a positive one that can lead to friendship or romance?

Most people won’t do this to create deeper relationships in their lives – 58:40
What do most people avoid doing even though it’s the best way to create the deep relationships they want in their lives?

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Rewriting Your Story for Unstoppable Success | Toolbox Mar 25, 2024

In today’s episode, we dive deep into rewriting your life story with AJ, Johnny, and Michael Herold.

How do you rewrite your personal narrative to align with your core values and set meaningful goals for your future? Can understanding and rewriting your story spark real change in your life? This episode of The Art of Charm delves into these critical questions, offering you a unique opportunity to explore the power of storytelling in personal development.

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
How do our brains use stories to predict the future, and why is this relevant to you?
How can acknowledging both positive and negative stories shape your future?

The Biggest Myth About Rewriting Your Story – 10:36
Why doesn't changing your past narrative work, and what should you do instead?
Why isn't revising your past the key to a brighter future?

The Most Important Step to Take When Rewriting Your Story – 23:24
Why is your next action step more important than your past narrative?
Values vs. Goals: How do they work together to attract success into your life?

Recognizing and Acting on Choice Points – 31:00
What are action points, and how can they be game-changers in your life?
How to deal with resistance from others as you start to change your narrative?

The Critical Role of Self-Compassion in Rewriting Your Story – 37:25
Why is self-compassion important in rewriting your story, and how can you cultivate an empowering level of self-compassion?
How can embracing your new narrative and taking action today transform your life?

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Leadership Lessons from Navy SEALs, Fortune CEOs & Top Executives Mar 18, 2024

In today’s episode, we dive deep into the essence of leadership and personal transformation with a stellar lineup of guests. Brad Lomenick brings his expertise on impactful leadership and personal growth, drawing from his experience as a consultant and author of influential books including H3 Leadership: Be Humble. Stay Hungry. Always Hustle. We hear from Brett Crozier, whose distinguished career in the US Navy offers invaluable lessons on resilience and integrity. Dan Luna, with his rich background as a Navy SEAL and leadership coach, shares insights on developing leadership skills under pressure. John Mackey, the visionary behind Whole Foods Market, discusses the principles of conscious capitalism and leadership that have guided his successful career. Leadership expert Patrick Lencioni provides practical advice on building effective teams and organizations, while Jake Wood, co-founder of Team Rubicon, talks about the power of vulnerability and integrity in leadership.

How can you bust leadership myths and embrace humility, hunger, and hustle to drive success? What are the key traits all leaders need, and how can embracing vulnerability and integrity transform your leadership style? This episode of The Art of Charm answers these questions and more, providing you with the tools and insights needed to become a stronger, more conscious leader.

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
What are common misconceptions about leadership roles and titles?
Why is self-leadership crucial in today's career landscape?

Most people don’t understand this about group dynamics and leadership frames – 10:10
How does the concept of "herd mentality" apply to leadership and fitting into social environments?
Why is focusing on your team or people fundamental to leadership success?

How do you master leadership skills in your everyday life? – 19:00
Why is practice crucial in developing leadership skills?
What makes conscious leadership different from conventional leadership?

How effective leaders deal with criticism and their inner critic – 29:44
What can you do to not feel anonymous in your organization and not be that cog?
How can leaders effectively show vulnerability to their team?
What are the three things employees need to avoid feeling miserable at work?

Leading with integrity and handling no’s – 39:05
What is the importance of facing rejection and criticism for a leader?
How can leaders remain steadfast and true to their values in the face of adversity?

Traits that make leaders effective – 47:48
How do humility and vulnerability contribute to leadership effectiveness?
How should leaders approach crisis situations to maintain team confidence and trust?

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Master Your Attachment Style and Accelerate Your Success | Dr. Judy Ho Mar 11, 2024

In today’s episode, we tackle attachment with Dr. Judy Ho. Dr. Ho is a clinical neuropsychologist and a tenured professor and researcher at Pepperdine University, works as a forensic expert and media consultant, and last time she joined us to talk about her book, Stop Self-Sabotage, and today, she's back to talk about her latest book, The New Rules of Attachment: How to Heal Your Relationships, Reparent Your Inner Child, and Secure Your Life Vision.

Everyone knows how attachment styles influence romantic relationships, but how do they hold you back in your career, why do you need to understand your attachment style to build healthy relationships, and what can you do to change your attachment style and raise children with secure attachment styles?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
What is attachment theory and what are the 4 attachment styles?
How do parenting styles produce different attachment styles in their children?

How to avoid raising insecure children – 13:14
What do you need to avoid to raise children to have a secure attachment style?
If you have an insecure attachment style, what can you do to change it to a secure attachment style?

How do you change your attachment style – 20:13
What can you do to break the pattern of avoidant attachment and develop a secure attachment style?
What are the strengths and weaknesses of the avoidant attachment style?
How do I connect with an avoidant attachment style?

The secret to living with an insecure attachment style – 33:14
What simple 10 second exercise can you do to accept your attachment style while you’re working to change it so it doesn’t sabotage your relationships?

How to deal with your partner’s attachment style – 40:23
What can you do if you’re putting in a lot of work to understand your attachment style and your partner’s, but your partner isn’t interested in doing the same work?
What are you supposed to do when a family member’s attachment style creates conflict with yours?

Breaking free of your avoidant attachment style in your career – 49:33
How does your avoidant attachment style sabotage your career and your ability to advance?
Should everyone be striving to have a secure attachment style?

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Achieve More By Doing Less: Slow Productivity | Cal Newport Mar 04, 2024

In today’s episode, we tackle slow productivity with Cal Newport. Cal is a leading productivity expert and the author of several best selling books, including a A World Without Email: Reimagining Work in an Age of Communication Overload, Digital Minimalism: Choosing a Focused Life in a Noisy World, Deep Work: Rules for Focused Success in a Distracted World, and So Good They Can't Ignore You: Why Skills Trump Passion in the Quest for Work You Love. His newest book is titled Slow Productivity: The Lost Art of Accomplishment Without Burnout.

What if slowing down was actually the secret to achieving more? In this episode, we dive into the intriguing world of slow productivity: Can embracing a slower pace truly catapult your career success? What are the three foundational principles of slow productivity, and how can you apply them to revolutionize your work ethic? Moreover, why is transforming your relationship with productivity essential for not just professional achievement, but for crafting a fulfilling life?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
What is pseudo productivity and how does being pseudo productive at work damage your relationships and personal life?
What’s wrong with how we think about transparency at work and what is the best level of transparency to maximize team productivity?

The evolution of workplace productivity – 13:49
Why did productivity decrease when we have so many tools to be more productive?
What can you eliminate from your daily schedule to be 10x more productive than your competition?
How do you limit communication to maximize productivity?

The reason most people can’t leave their work at the office – 28:18
Why is it important to slow down if you want to increase productivity?
What are the 3 biggest takeaways from studying traditional knowledge workers that you can use to maximize productivity?

Can you be more productive without using any email? – 40:45
What happpened the productivity of 12 employees in a study where the experimenters disabled their email accounts?
What simple framework can you implement on your team to improve transparency, reduce stress, increase productivity, and increase the collaboration between employees and managers?

The little known technique to most effectively distribute your team’s workload – 52:23
Why do rude people get promoted faster?
What mistake do people make that prevents them from getting promoted without even knowing it?

How do you apply slow productivity to being a more productive writer – 1:08:16
What principles of slow productivity should you apply to your writing practice to increase your productivity and efficiency as a writer?
What simple trick can you implement in your hybrid work situation to decrease time spent on email, increase communication effectivity, increase meeting effectivity, increase productivity, and increase deep work?

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What Evolution and Human Behavior Can Tell Us About Purpose and Meaning | Sam Wilkinson Feb 26, 2024

In today’s episode, we tackle meaning and purpose with Samuel T Wilkinson. Sam is a professor of psychiatry at Yale University, an associate director of the Yale Depression Research Program, and the author of his latest book Purpose: What Evolution and Human Nature Imply about the Meaning of Our Existence.

In this episode, we explore the two sides of human nature and how they guide us to find our true purpose. We dive into free will's role in achieving a good life, look at how committed relationships affect our happiness, and share new scientific findings on evolution that help explain our life's meaning.

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
How does understanding the duality of human nature enhance your leadership and communication strategy?
Is our success and decision-making process truly random, or is there an underlying order that can be leveraged for personal growth?

How do different religious beliefs about free will influence our life choices and purpose? – 14:48
Can exploring various beliefs on free will unlock a deeper sense of purpose and direction in life and career?

What are the implications of Monogamy vs. Promiscuity on society and personal well-being? – 20:10
How do shifting norms around relationships impact societal stability and individual well-being?
How do relationships define our happiness and purpose, according to the longest running study on human development?

How do deep meaningful relationships fuel our search for purpose? – 33:00
How do relationships and attachment theory play a critical role in finding purpose and fulfillment?
What are the actionable steps to deepen your connections and harness the power of meaningful relationships in your personal and professional life?

How does parenthood reshape our priorities and enhance our sense of purpose? – 40:16
How does parenthood transform one's priorities and contribute to a greater sense of purpose and societal contribution?
What are the unique rewards and challenges of raising children, and how do they impact personal growth and career advancement?

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Supercommunicators & The Secret Language of Connection | Charles Duhigg Feb 19, 2024

In today’s episode, we tackle supercommunicators with Charles Duhigg. Charles is a Pulitzer prize-winning reporter, writer for The New Yorker magazine, and the author of two New York Times bestsellers, The Power of Habit, and his second book, Smarter Faster Better. His latest book, Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection, is available February 20, 2024.

We discuss how supercommunicators use 3 types of conversation to their advantage. Charles shares a 3 second preparation routine you can use instantly to make your conversations better. How to skip small talk and take conversation deeper to create connection with anyone, and why recognizing social identities can help you manage difficult conversations effectively.

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
How do you recognize a supercommunicator in your life, and what impact do they have on your personal development and well-being?
What do supercommunicators do so well that most people suck at?

The thin line between authentic conversation and interrogation – 16:29
What simple mindset shift can you make to turn boring conversations into fulfilling conversations that engage the other person and make them look forward to talking to you?

Social media gets toxic because most people don’t know these rules – 24:13
Why are there rules for communicating through different forms of technology and how do those rules cause social media to be so toxic?
If you want lifelong happiness, what do you need to have by age 45 and 65?

The little known technique that makes hard conversations easy – 34:28
What are the 3 types of conversations and how do you know which type you’re having with someone so there’s no disconnect?
How do you build out the skill set to be more comfortable expressing vulnerability?

Quick guide to prepare you for any conversation – 47:43
What are practical ways to mentally prepare for emotional and social discussions, even if you're not accustomed to expressing vulnerability?

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Learned Excellence: Leadership Lessons from the Navy SEALs | Dr. Eric Potterat Feb 12, 2024

In today’s episode, we tackle learning excellence with Eric Potterat and Alan Eagle. Eric is one of the world's leading performance psychologists, a retired US naval commander, a lead psychologist for the US Navy Seals, the Los Angeles Dodgers, and co-author of Learned Excellence: Mental Disciplines for Leading and Winning from the World's Top Performers. His co author, Allan Eagle, is a colleague of Dr. Potterat’s at Google and best selling author himself. He was blown away by Dr Potterat’s lessons and wanted to co-author a book To share Eric's knowledge with the world.

How can the mental disciplines used by the world's elite performers transform not just your career, but how you connect with others? We uncover the secrets to achieving unparalleled success and fulfillment, learning from experts who've coached the best, from Navy SEALs to top business leaders, on learning excellence, becoming visible in elite circles to unlock career opportunities, and the 6 pillars of performance you need to master to become elite.

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
What simple exercise can you do to improve your performance in every area of your daily life?

The mindset shift most that causes most people to give up – 14:00
What do you do when effort and hard work are not enough to perform at your best or reach your goals?
What is the key to becoming excellent at anything you choose to pursue, even if you’re currently terrible at it?

How do you know if you’re on the right path – 27:20
What can you look for to figure out if you’re on the right path or using the right process to solve your problem?
What can you do to get yourself ready before a big speech or pitch to manage stress, and how do you manage the stress in the moment?

How do elite performers take valuable experience from everything they do – 37:50
What are the 6 pillars you should always maintain in life to create the greatest resilience before life inevitably kicks you in the face?

Unlocking elite performance in your children – 45:54
How do you help your children learn excellence?
What questions can you ask your kids everyday to achieve their potential?

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Applied Empathy for Strengthening Relationships and Networking Feb 05, 2024

In today’s episode, we tackle empathy with Michael Ventura, Paul Bloom, Geoffrey Cohen, and Rick Hanson. Michael Ventura is the author of Applied Empathy: The New Language of Leadership. Paul Bloom is a professor at the University of Toronto and author of Against Empathy: The Case for Rational Compassion. Geoffrey Cohen is a Stanford professor and author of Belonging: The Science of Creating Connection and Bridging Divides. And Rick Hanson is a psychologist and senior fellow at UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center and NYT bestselling author of Taking in the Good.

How can empathy revolutionize your personal and professional relationships? Have you ever considered that empathy could be more than just understanding others' feelings? What if we told you that empathy is not just about being nice, but about wielding a deep, objective perspective that could unlock your true potential and transform your approach to social interactions? Discover how to identify your empathy archetype, why empathy is crucial in leadership, and how it can be a superpower in your interactions. Are you ready to challenge your perceptions and cultivate a skill that guarantees meaningful connections and success?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
What is the most common misconception about empathy?
How do you develop empathy and why does it seem like so many people lack it these days?

Do psychopaths have empathy? – 13:02
What do most people get wrong about empathy and sympathy?
What are the 7 empathy archetypes?

Forging a strong and confident brain – 19:12
How do you strengthen your brain and make it confident, and why would you want to?
What tiny habit can you work on for moments each day that will enable you to build relationships with whoever you want?

The approach to empathy most people avoid – 31:39
What is the most time-efficient way to maximize your empathy?
What is the best way to stand up for yourself if someone says something that makes you or someone else uncomfortable?

Leaders ignore this one skill to the detriment of their business – 39:31
How can leaders and team members integrate empathy into their work environment to improve dynamics and outcomes?
What 15 minute exercise can you do every morning to cultivate deeper empathy?

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3 Ways To Boost Your Likability For Easy Networking | Toolbox Jan 29, 2024

In today’s episode, we tackle likability with AJ, Johnny, and Michael Herold.

In this episode, we unpack the secrets to becoming irresistibly likable, mastering the art of propinquity, and leveraging your network effectively. We tackle burning questions such as how to build a vibrant social life irrespective of your location, the role of technology in networking, and how to make every social interaction count. Whether you're starting anew in a different city or looking to inject new energy into your current social circle, this episode is a goldmine of strategies and insights.

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
What is propinquity, and how can it drastically improve your ability to make friends anywhere you live?

Stop unknowingly sabotaging your social life – 11:38
Are you unknowingly sabotaging your social life? Learn the common pitfalls to avoid and boost your social presence
Want to know how propinquity can boost your career? Discover how one client dramatically improved his professional life using this concept

Turn mindless activity into great networking opportunities – 19:12
Why is mindless social media scrolling a missed opportunity? Learn how to turn your social media habits into networking gold
How can your reputation skyrocket your likability and networking success? Find out the power of social proof in expanding your circle

The secret to boosting your likability – 30:01
How can showing curiosity in others' interests boost your likability?
Feeling like your interests are too niche for others? Learn how to find common ground in any conversation

The hidden psychological principle that draws people in – 40:15
What psychological principles drive our attraction to others and how can you use those principles to boost your likability?
How can you leverage online platforms to showcase your personality and interests?

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Curious about your influence level?

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That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone?

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Avoid The Perfection Trap | Thomas Curran Jan 22, 2024

In today’s episode, we tackle perfectionism with Thomas Curran. Thomas is an associate professor in the Department of Psychological and Behavioral Science at the London School of Economics, and the author of The Perfection Trap: Embracing the Power of Good Enough.

We tackle the critical issue of how perfectionism can be both a driving force and a relationship killer, dissect the three key dimensions of perfectionism, and guide you on self-assessment to understand your personal perfectionism traps. We also delve into managing perfectionism's impact on work ethic and productivity, especially in the era of social media. Lastly, we provide actionable strategies for high performers to avoid perfectionism pitfalls, ensuring a balanced approach that fosters achievement without sacrificing personal connections or mental well-being.

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
What are the 3 dimensions of perfectionism?

How perfectionism destroys relationships – 11:17
What do you need to do to foster healthy relationships with perfectionists?
What first steps can you take to overcome perfectionism so it doesn’t destroy your relationships and professional success?

Where do you fall on the perfectionism scale? – 20:19
How do you measure perfectionism and what questions can you ask to find out where you fall on the perfectionism scale?
How much of your perfectionism is genetic, and how do you manage perfectionism when you have kids who might inherit that trait?

Perfectionists sabotage their own work ethic because of this – 30:54
How do you make sure your perfectionism doesn’t have a negative impact on your productivity and work ethic?
How should you approach social media as a perfectionist since social media can present you with many opportunities for your perfectionism to take a toll on your psyche?

The perfectionism traps 90% of people fall into – 42:31
How do you avoid the perfectionism traps so you can accept imperfection, make mistakes, and be kind to yourself and others, so you can accomplish what you need to get done without leaving a wake of destruction?

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How To Use Friction To Draw People In or Push Them Away | Bob Sutton Jan 15, 2024

In today’s episode, we tackle friction with Bob Sutton. Bob is an organizational psychologist and professor at Stanford, a New York Times bestselling author, and is here with us to discuss his upcoming book, The Friction Project: How Smart Leaders Make the Right Things Easier and the Wrong Things Harder.

Bob Sutton sheds light on the double-edged sword of 'friction' in both professional and personal interactions, so why is friction a double-edged sword that you need to master to be successful, what strategies can you use to identify (and minimize) friction in your daily interactions, and how can you use positive friction as a tool to maximize your problem-solving capacity, boost productivity, and profitability?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
How do you identify the friction you bring to relationships that makes people not want to work with you or hang out with you?
What can you learn from the California DMV about the importance of reducing friction to maximize productivity and boost customer satisfaction?

3 Ways to Make Friction a Force for Good at Work – 19:57
If friction slows things down, how do individuals and businesses use friction to amplify results?
What strategies can individuals use to become friction fixers and accelerate their careers?
How can understanding a company's culture of handling friction help you in job interviews?

Power Poisoning and its impact on Organizational Friction – 34:00
How can leaders avoid falling into the trap of power poisoning so they don’t hurt their own bottom line by introducing unnecessary friction into the organization?

The Impact of AI and Technology on Organizational Friction – 44:12
What are the best practices for integrating AI into the workplace without increasing friction?

How can listeners apply the insights from The Friction Project to their professional and personal lives?

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When Grind Culture Meets Burnout: How To Revitalize You & Your Career Path | Dr. Debbie Sorensen Jan 08, 2024

In today’s episode, we tackle burnout with Dr Debbie Sorensen. Dr Sorensen got her PhD in psychology from Harvard University, is the cohost of the Psychologists Off the Clock podcast, runs a private practice in Boulder, Colorado, and is the author of ACT for Burnout: Recharge, Reconnect, and Transform Burnout With Acceptance and Commitment Therapy.

Today’s conversation delves into the signs, impact, and strategies to recover from burnout. Gain insights into recognizing burnout, addressing its root causes, and exploring Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) as a means to tackle burnout. From personal experiences to practical advice on navigating burnout, this episode offers a wealth of information to help listeners develop resilience and regain a sense of balance.

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
What are the obvious indicators of burnout that everyone overlooks when they’re burnt out?
This one thing prevents most people from overcoming burnout

Which of these 5 burnout cycles do you suffer from – 12:45
What are the most prevalent burnout cycles, and how do they trap individuals in a cycle of stress and recovery?
Are certain personalities more susceptible to specific burnout cycles, and if so, why?

The secret weapon against burnout that anyone can acquire – 25:51
What are the first steps someone can take to cultivate psychological flexibility in their daily life?
Are certain personalities more susceptible to specific burnout cycles, and if so, why? And what can you do to reduce your susceptibility?

The psychological toolkit to overcome burnout – 36:14
How can you use Acceptance Commitment Therapy tools to give yourself some breathing room and not allow your burnout to destroy the relationships you care about?

The road to burnout recovery – 46:07
What are the necessary steps to go from burnout to some semblance of normal?
How can you bring up the topic of burnout with someone you care about who is showing signs of burnout?

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The Ultimate Networking Playbook: A Compilation of Expert Advice for Introverts Jan 01, 2024

Right now, we’d like to thank the sponsor of this episode: LifeMD. Looking to lose weight and improve your health?

Embrace your journey towards a healthier and happier you, and achieve lasting sustainable weight loss with LifeMD by your side. Visit lifemd.com/CHARM to get started!

In today’s episode, we tackle networking secrets with four leading networking experts. The experts on this compilation are Karen Wickre, author of Taking the Work Out of Networking, Matthew Pollard, the author of The Introvert's Edge to Networking, David Siegel, a close friend of ours and the CEO of meetup.com, and Susan McPherson, the author of The Lost Art of Connecting.

With insights from experienced guests Karen Wickre, Matthew Pollard, David Siegel, and Susan McPherson, we explore the art of networking, both in person and online, while debunking common misconceptions about introverts and showcasing their unique strengths in the networking game. Join us as we explore the importance of storytelling, the value of research and preparation, and the significance of maintaining genuine connections over time.

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
How could mastering the art of professional networking unlock doors you never knew existed in today's dynamic career landscape?
As an introvert, what hidden strengths do you possess that could turn networking from a daunting task into your greatest ally in success?

5 Strategies to Crush Networking Events that Most Will Ignore – 13:10
Discover the ultimate strategies that transform ordinary networking encounters into life-changing connections — are you missing out?
What if I told you that in just 5 minutes, you can turn a casual chat at a networking event into a lasting, impactful relationship?

The Key Component of Networking Everyone Overlooks – 22:26
Ever wonder what makes certain people magnetic in any room? Uncover the key component of networking that ensures you're never forgotten
Are you approaching networking events all wrong? Learn how to research potential connections effectively and transform your next event into a goldmine of opportunities
Feeling lost at networking events? Set these simple yet powerful missions for yourself and watch how drastically your experience changes

Tips to Not Be Forgotten After an Event – 32:08
What's the one crucial step you must take after a networking event to ensure your new connections turn into meaningful, long-term relationships?

Should You Be Direct or Indirect – 41:50
How does adopting a more direct approach in your interactions lead to more meaningful connections, and what might you be risking by avoiding this strategy?

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Best of 2023 | Mindsets and Frameworks to Persuade and Connect Dec 25, 2023

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In today’s episode, we hand selected the best clips from 2023 to prepare you for the New Year. Check out the resources section down below for links to every interview in this episode. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

If you've ever found yourself pondering how to navigate life's unexpected challenges, master the art of influence, or forge deeper connections, this episode is your guide. We uncover the secrets to turning envy into empowerment and inspire those around you. From the psychological tricks that make you irresistibly interesting to the key strategies for maintaining vibrant friendships and marriages, we've got you covered. Tune in to discover revolutionary solutions for avoiding burnout and fostering enduring relationships.

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
How can you stay prepared for any unexpected hurdle in life?
The secret to framing questions to get people to do whatever you want
What can you do to leverage envy to help you instead of making you feel bad about yourself?

The Key to Inspire Everyone Around You – 19:12
What is the psychological trick to be so interesting to the people around you that everyone wants to spend time with you?
What is the key to exude confidence when talking to someone you’ve just met?

The Secret Language of Relationships – 32:50
How should you respond to your romantic partner if you don’t want to get dumped or divorced?
Why is it important for us to make small talk with strangers everyday?

The Little Known Way to Make Friends When We’re Older – 40:47
What can you do to create solid friendships when you’re older while also maintaining your youthful energy and child-like curiosity?
What are the 5 layers of listening that will supercharge your communication skills?

The Revolutionary Solution to Saving Marriages – 56:21
What signs do you need to pay attention to if you don’t want your marriage to fail?

The Ultimate Approach to Avoiding Burnout and Relieving Stress & Anxiety – 1:02:40
What can you do to alleviate any feelings of burnout and relieve stress and anxiety immediately?
How do you make replacement friends as you get older and why is it important to maintain peak performance later in life?

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Success Myths Debunked: A Deep Dive into the Psychology of Money | Morgan Housel Dec 18, 2023

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In today’s episode, we tackle the price of greatness with Morgan Housel, the author of The Psychology of Money and Same as Ever: A Guide to What Never Changes which is already a NYT bestseller.

Today we’re redefining success and happiness, starting with a myth-busting take on the 1950s' nostalgia. Discover the unconventional yet effective strategy of finding happiness, gain unique insights into how embracing failure is a secret weapon used by top comedians to achieve greatness, including wisdom from the legendary Jerry Seinfeld on the art of timing and knowing when to walk away.

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
Most people overlook this simple mindset shift to be happy
Why do we feel so nostalgic about the 1950s and does that nostalgia have a basis in reality?

The psychological trick to making effortless changes in behavior – 18:12
What is the simple strategy most people overlook to streamline your path to accomplishing your goals?
If you want to be successful, when is the best time to walk away or move on from something you’re invested in?

This is more important than competitive advantages in the long run – 26:50
What can we learn from why once-dominant businesses collapsed in order to stay competitive in a hyper competitive market?

The secret to going viral on any platform – 37:55
What do you have to do to go viral that most people will never try?

The unspoken painful price of greatness – 52:20
Why would most people give up on the pursuit of fame if they knew this price they would have to pay?

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The 30-Second Rule: Astronaut Techniques for Overcoming Regret and Performing Under Pressure | Dr. Mike Massimino Dec 11, 2023

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In today’s episode, we tackle achieving the impossible with Dr Mike Massimino. Dr Massimino served as an astronaut from 1996 to 2014 and went to space twice, he was the first human to tweet from space, the last human to work inside the Hubble telescope, and is the author of Moonshot: A NASA Astronaut’s Guide to Achieving the Impossible.

In this installment, we have a truly out-of-this-world guest, Dr. Mike Massimino, who brings us inside the captivating world of space exploration as he delves into Hoot's Law and the art of handling mistakes in the unforgiving expanse of space. He shares invaluable insights into building a team culture that leads to unparalleled success at NASA, and explains the secrets behind the 30-second rule, a powerful tool for overcoming regret and performing at a high level in critical situations.

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
What are the most surprising challenges Dr Massimino had to overcome to become an astronaut after being rejected several times?

What is the value of teamwork most people have forgotten – 14:02
What are the psychological benefits of being on a team that greatly increase your ability to succeed?
What is the most important thing to nurture in your team as a leader in order to avoid catastrophe?

The danger signs that trust is about to break – 27:38
What signs should you pay attention for if you’re concerned about
What is Hoot’s law and why is it crucial to consider when you find yourself in a stressful or dangerous situation?

The astronaut’s secret to effortlessly overcome regret and perform – 40:54
How do you overcome regret in a high pressure situation so you can perform at the highest level regardless of the circumstances?

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The Psychology of Decision-Making: Conquering Cognitive Biases for Better Results Dec 04, 2023

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In today’s episode, we tackle decision making with some of the world’s experts on the topic. First, Annie Duke, a former professional poker player now a coach and author of Quit, The Power of Knowing When to Walk Away. Next, David Siegel, CEO of Meetup.com and author of Decide and Conquer, shares his expertise on leadership decision-making. Dan Ariely, a Duke University professor and renowned author, who delves into overcoming indecision and regret. Finally, former intelligence officer and author Shane Parrish talks about his book Clear Thinking: Turning Extraordinary Moments Into Extraordinary Results.

From the influence of regret on our choices to the impact of blind spots on decision patterns, our guests offer practical strategies to enhance your decision-making skills. Join us as we explore the power of timely action, the significance of embracing change, and the transformative potential of making better decisions.

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
Most people have no idea that this one mindset shift will lead to life changing improvements in decision making

Most people make bad decisions because of these factors – 9:28
How do most people get stuck in making decisions and what can you do to get unstuck?
What are the most common biases we have to overcome to make the right decisions?
How do you overcome the sunk cost problem so you don’t waste years of your life trying to make a prior bad decision work?

This bias stops people from reaching high levels of success – 21:39
Why are most people stuck making decisions that keep them where they are instead of making decisions that put them on track to where they want to be?

Use these tools to avoid making terrible decisions – 33:55
How do you create a habit so you make great decisions and avoid terrible decisions without even thinking about them?
Most people will never ask this simple question to obtain a mentor who could change their lives forever

People don’t prioritize this area of decision making enough – 44:09
How do you create rules for automatic success?
When is the right time to quit something you’re invested in?

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Why Your Success is Killing You & How To Break Free | Toolbox Nov 27, 2023

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In today’s episode, we tackle the epidemic of loneliness elite performance with AJ, Johnny, and Michael Herold.

With loneliness reaching epidemic levels in today's society, our hosts explore the detrimental impacts it can have on our health and well-being. They share their expertise in communication, confidence, and relationships to provide practical tools for combating loneliness and building meaningful connections. From recognizing the signs of loneliness to fostering strong networks, this episode offers valuable insights and strategies for navigating the challenges of isolation.

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
What is the loneliness epidemic, how did people get to be so lonely, and what can we do about it so it doesn’t get worse?

Most people don’t know the health risks of this – 14:33
How does loneliness cause detrimental effects to your physical health?

This type of self-talk stops people from asking for help – 20:02
What simple mental switch can you flip to strengthen the relationships in your life?
Who is to blame for the loneliness epidemic?

This exercise is crucial to figure out who your real friends are – 28:00
What can you do to figure out if the people in your life are helping you or holding you back?
What can you do today to build rock solid confidence?

Only a small handful will take this step to end the loneliness epidemic – 38:36
What can you do today to strengthen existing relationships in your life while simultaneously helping to end the loneliness epidemic?

A Word From Our Sponsors

Planet Money is a different kind of world where the complex economy actually makes sense; where human stories supersede abstract theories. Listeners can learn, laugh, and be entertained. It’s economics, down to earth.

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Building High Value Relationships | David Goggins Nov 20, 2023

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In today’s episode, we cover elite performance with David Goggins. David Goggins achieved the extraordinary, being the sole individual to conquer the grueling training regimens of the SEALs, Army Rangers, and Air Force Tactical Air Controllers. His resilience has seen him cross the finish line of over seventy ultra-marathons, frequently securing top positions, and his iron determination once earned him a Guinness World Record for an astonishing 4,030 pull-ups within a mere seventeen hours. Goggins isn't just a physical marvel; he's also a masterful orator, inspiring audiences worldwide with his insights on mental fortitude.

In today's episode, we are joined by the incredible David Goggins, a true embodiment of mental and physical resilience. Goggins has transformed his life, bringing himself from a place of insecurity and doubt to becoming a renowned ultra-marathon runner and motivational speaker. Join our hosts as they unravel the inspiring story of David Goggins and explore his strategies for overcoming self-doubt, finding inner strength, and pushing beyond our perceived limits.

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
How do you balance a relationship if you’re extremely ambitious so both of you can pursue goals?
What do you say to people you love who don’t support your lofty aspirations?

The secret to lose 100+ pounds in 3 months – 10:12
How did David Goggins lose 106 pounds in 3 months?
How do you flip that mental switch on days you don’t feel like working out?

What you’re looking for is on the other side of this – 21:14
Most people will never push themselves beyond this point to accomplish everything they want in life
The most successful people in history have a great relationship with this side of themselves that average people ignore

David Goggins’s secret to breaking crippling habits – 30:40
What can you do to eliminate all distractions right now?
How did David Goggins stop caring about what other people think?

This one thing makes you completely unrelatable – 46:51
This belief is the number on factor in David Goggins’s life that helped him build the self discipline to do what he does
What does David Goggins want to be remembered for?

A Word From Our Sponsors

Planet Money is a different kind of world where the complex economy actually makes sense; where human stories supersede abstract theories. Listeners can learn, laugh, and be entertained. It’s economics, down to earth.

Tune in to Planet Money every week for entertaining stories and insights about how money shapes our world. Stories that can’t be found anywhere else.

Listen now to Planet Money from NPR -- wherever you get your podcasts.

$75 SPONSORED JOB CREDIT to upgrade your job post at Indeed.com/CHARM. Offer good for a limited time.

Curious about your influence level?

Get your Influence Index Score today!

Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence

Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you?

That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone?

Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!

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5 Communication Secrets That Will Make People Respect You & Love You Nov 13, 2023

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In today’s episode, we cover communication with five elite communication experts. We have Dr Carole Robin, who's been teaching the legendary course, interpersonal dynamics at the Stanford Graduate School of Business. Chuck Wisner, the author of The Art of Conscious Conversations, Karen Wickre, the author of Taking the Work Out of Networking, Jonah Berger, professor at Wharton School and the author of several best selling books on influence and social Dynamics, including Magic Words, and Susan McPherson, the author of The Lost Art of Connecting.

From the significance of open-ended questions to the impact of language on emotions, our guests share strategies to influence and connect with others. We'll also uncover the keys to building high-value relationships, the role of vulnerability in leadership, and the importance of active listening in meaningful conversations. Join us as we uncover actionable steps and insights to elevate your communication skills and unlock hidden potential.

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
Break this one habit before it breaks your budding relationships
How do you create better quality conversations and open up dialogue with anyone?
What is the worst question you can ask when someone is sad or upset?

This type of language pushes most people away – 11:50
Most people won’t do this one thing in order to improve their relationships
How do you master the skill of listening so you can avoid relationship-breaking problems while also building the strongest relationships?

Most people hide who they are because of this – 22:15
This is the one key to being the greatest version of yourself
How do you turn acquaintances into friends and friends into allies?

The key to creating lifelong connections – 32:20
Most CEOs will never do this even though it supercharges the output of their employees
The secret to resolving marital conflict that people ignore at their own peril

The 3 little known phrases to get your point across – 45:20
How do you train your inner dialogue to be constructive instead of critical?

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Think Faster and Talk Smarter to Impress Anyone | Matt Abrahams Nov 06, 2023

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In today’s episode, we cover thinking fast and talking smarter with Matt Abrahams. Matt is a leading communication expert with decades of experience as an educator, author, and coach. As a Lecturer at Stanford University's Graduate School of Business, he teaches popular classes on strategic communication and effective virtual presenting. He hosts the award-winning podcast Think Fast, Talk Smart, and is the author of the book Speaking Up without Freaking Out, as well as his newest book Think Faster, Talk Smarter: How to Speak Successfully When You're Put on the Spot.

Being able to think on your feet in every conversation can yield life-changing opportunities and relationships, so how does maximizing mediocrity better prepare you to think on your feet, what is the 3 step framework to listening so you know how to respond, and what is the secret to gracefully exiting any conversation so you avoid awkward goodbyes?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
What is the anxiety spiral and how does it trip you up in critical moments?
What 3 ways does anxiety manifest and how do you deal with each one so they don’t trip you up in important conversations?

This common practice works against you – 9:59
What is scripting and why should you avoid it if you want to make a great first impression?
How do you communicate effectively when people’s attention spans are still on the decline?

Having this mindset makes communication effortless – 22:41
Why is storytelling important when it comes to communicating and building relationships, and how do you get better at telling stories?
What 3 simple questions can you ask yourself to provide the perfect response to any communication?

The secret to make small talk impactful when it counts – 31:39
How do you make small talk fun and meaningful for everyone you talk to so it leads to better relationships and more opportunities?
What is the “white flag” trick to leave any conversation without making it awkward?

How to fix a mistake when mis-speaking in a crucial moment – 44:16
What should you do if you make a mistake in an important conversation or presentation? How do you acknowledge it without making the situation worse?

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Overcoming Fear of Other People’s Opinions | Dr. Michael Gervais Oct 30, 2023

In today’s episode, we cover self-mastery with Dr. Michael Gervais. Michael is one of the world's top high performance psychologists and leading experts on the relationship between the mind and human performance, and the author of The First Rule of Mastery: Stop Worrying about What People Think of You.

Being social creatures is a double edged sword because we can rely on others to survive and get ahead in life, but with that comes the crippling concern of what others think about us, so how do you disregard the opinions of others so you can focus your efforts on what you need to do to reach your potential?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
What is FOPO and why is one of the greatest constrictors of human potential?
Why is FOPO the first step to mastery?

Overcome the doubt that crushes everyone else – 12:17
How do you stop worrying about what everyone thinks of you?
How do you make yourself significantly more attractive without changing anything about your outward appearance?

What do pros do under pressure that no one else does – 23:20
What is Ricky Fowler’s secret to excelling under the same pressure that crushes amateur athletes?
What is the difference between a performance-based mindset and a purpose-based mindset?

The secret to living a life most people never can – 33:38
What steps can you take to focus on your purpose and disregard the opinions and expectations of everyone around you?

Lone wolves will never reach the same level these people do – 44:58
What prevents loners from reaching their full potential?
Why do you need other people in order to reach your full potential?

Planet Money is a different kind of world where the complex economy actually makes sense; where human stories supersede abstract theories. Listeners can learn, laugh, and be entertained. It’s economics, down to earth.

Tune in to Planet Money every week for entertaining stories and insights about how money shapes our world. Stories that can’t be found anywhere else.

Listen now to Planet Money from NPR -- wherever you get your podcasts.

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Master Elite Human Dynamics: Lessons from Green Beret Nick Lavery Oct 23, 2023

In today’s episode, we cover what it takes to be a Green Beret with Nick Lavery. Nick is an active duty member of the United States Army Special Forces. On his 2nd combat rotation to Afghanistan 10 years ago, he and his detachment fell victim to an insider attack that led to Nick losing his leg. Refusing a military medical retirement, Nick set his sights on returning to operational status. Nick is considered the 1st special forces operator to return to combat as an above-the-knee amputee. Lastly, he's the author of the book Objective Secure: The Battle-Tested Guide to Goal Achievement.

The Green Berets are the elite special forces of the U.S. Army, but what separates the elite from the rest, why is relationship building critical to the Green Beret’s mission success, and what does it take to rapidly build trust and camaraderie with people across different cultures and language barriers?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
Why did Nick Lavery enlist in the Army Special Forces?

Most people never enlist this way – 11:30
What separates the Green Berets from other special operations forces in the military?
How do elite special forces learn to rapidly develop trust with people across different cultures and language barriers?

The military secret to building unbreakable teams – 23:26
What do elite special forces do to forge bonds among teams to ensure mission success in life or death situations?

The only Green Beret to return to active duty without a leg – 27:27
How did Nick Lavery lose a leg and return to active duty as the only Green Beret with an above-knee amputation?

The moment he rejoined his band of brothers – 46:15
What was it like for Nick to finally rejoin his team of Green Berets?
The 3 reasons soldiers crave the chaos of war when they’re away from the battlefield

The key to building relationships that most people overlook – 1:01:30
What do most people not do when they’re trying to build new relationships?
How do you crush self-doubt like the elite special forces?

Planet Money is a different kind of world where the complex economy actually makes sense; where human stories supersede abstract theories. Listeners can learn, laugh, and be entertained. It’s economics, down to earth.

Tune in to Planet Money every week for entertaining stories and insights about how money shapes our world. Stories that can’t be found anywhere else.

Listen now to Planet Money from NPR -- wherever you get your podcasts.

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The Secret to Being Memorable and Finding Your Passion | Toolbox Oct 16, 2023

In today’s episode, we cover the value of pursuing your passions with AJ, Johnny, and Coach Michael Herold.

You’ve heard people tell you to follow your passions, but how do you define a passion, how do you combine your passions to create a unique skill set that sets you apart in your industry, and how do you share your passions with people to strengthen your network and friendships?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
What is the most relevant definition of passion?
What is the opposite Dunning-Kruger effect and how do you overcome it?

Inspire people with your passion – 11:55
How do you bring your passions and interests into conversation to deepen your connections even when the people you’re talking to don’t share your passions and interests?
What’s the secret to mastering any skill?

Forge the unique passion skillset no one else has – 20:20
How do you combine your interests and passions to set yourself apart from 90% of people in your industry?

Leverage your passions to squeeze the most out of life – 32:27
How do you use your passions to define your purpose and craft goals that sling shot you toward your dreams?

Planet Money is a different kind of world where the complex economy actually makes sense; where human stories supersede abstract theories. Listeners can learn, laugh, and be entertained. It’s economics, down to earth.

Tune in to Planet Money every week for entertaining stories and insights about how money shapes our world. Stories that can’t be found anywhere else.

Listen now to Planet Money from NPR -- wherever you get your podcasts.

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Elite Relationship Building Strategies to Grow Your Social Capital | Toolbox Oct 09, 2023

In today’s episode, we cover building relationships with Geoffrey Cohen, Dr Carole Robin, Colin Coggins and Garrett Brown, David Siegel, and Susan McPherson. Geoffrey Cohen is a professor and the author of Belonging: The Science of Creating Connection and Bridging Divides. Dr Carole Robin teaches a legendary course called Interpersonal Dynamics at Stanford Graduate School of Business. Colin Coggins and Garrett Brown are the authors of The Unsold Mindset: Redefining What It Means to Sell. David Siegel is the CEO of MeetUp. Susan McPherson is the author of The Lost Art of Connecting: The Gather, Ask, Do Method for Building Meaningful Business Relationships.

Relationships are one of the most important factors in your happiness, fulfillment, and success, but how do you build exceptional relationships that actually last, what is the real problem with building relationships and how do you overcome it, and what is the secret to turning acquaintances into real friends?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
What is the secret to building lifelong friendships and relationships?
How do you come across as authentic when meeting new people so they don’t think you’re manipulative or deceptive?

The mindset you need to be successful in relationships – 13:37
What mindset shift do you need in order to be successful in relationships?
How do you develop resilience so the inevitable road bumps in life don’t crush you?
How do you reframe rejection so you embrace it rather than avoid it?

The ultimate strategy for making friends with like-minded people – 24:26
Where is the best place to meet people you want to build lasting friendships with?
How do you build an epic social circle from scratch no matter where you live?

The 3-step networking strategy 90% of people will never implement – 36:33
What simple pattern can you implement in any networking event to make connections with anyone you want?

Planet Money is a different kind of world where the complex economy actually makes sense; where human stories supersede abstract theories. Listeners can learn, laugh, and be entertained. It’s economics, down to earth.

Tune in to Planet Money every week for entertaining stories and insights about how money shapes our world. Stories that can’t be found anywhere else.

Listen now to Planet Money from NPR -- wherever you get your podcasts.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Create the OUTCOME You Want | A Conversation with Shane Parrish | Art of Charm Oct 02, 2023

In today’s episode, we cover the art of decision making with Shane Parrish. Shane is an expert on mental models and frameworks for effective decision-making, a former intelligence officer, founder of Farnam Street (the world’s most read blog on clear thinking), and the author of Clear Thinking: Turning Ordinary Moments into Extraordinary Results.

Every day is filled with countless decisions you don’t think twice about, but those little decisions have a larger impact than the “life-changing” decisions you spend days, weeks, or months contemplating, so what is the secret to ensure those everyday decisions you make are not pulling you away from the life you want, what 4 psychological traps must you avoid to make the best decisions, and what rituals can you put into place to propel you toward the life you want?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
How to use the small everyday decisions to get ahead of everyone worrying about the big “life-changing” decisions?
What is more important than doing your best?

Rules for success that 90% of people never follow – 15:05
How do you ensure you only make the best decisions in stressful or high pressure situations?

How to love doing something you hate – 27:47
What systematic routine can you implement to turn any task into one you look forward to and excel at?
What mental trick can you use to achieve any goal you set for yourself?

Are you chasing the right goals? – 39:51
How can you know if you’re chasing the goals YOU want for yourself or if you’re chasing the goals OTHERs want for you that you have internalized as your goals that you will later regret wasting your life in pursuit of?
What proven template can you use to learn from every mistake you make and have made?

Planet Money is a different kind of world where the complex economy actually makes sense; where human stories supersede abstract theories. Listeners can learn, laugh, and be entertained. It’s economics, down to earth.

Tune in to Planet Money every week for entertaining stories and insights about how money shapes our world. Stories that can’t be found anywhere else.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Making Friends As a Lone Wolf | Toolbox | Art of Charm Sep 25, 2023

In today’s episode, we cover how to make friends with AJ, Johnny, and Coach Michael Herold.

It is an unfortunate statistic that we lose friends as we get older, but why does that happen, what can you do to make and maintain friendships that last a lifetime, what are the 3 traits you need to be the friend everyone wants, and proven system can you implement tomorrow to attract dynamic high value people into your life?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
Why do you have fewer friends today than you did 10 or 20 years ago and what can you do to rebuild friendships you’ve lost?

Make dynamic high value friends that turbocharge your life – 10:05
What can you do to find and build friendships with high value people who share your values and interests?

3 steps to be the rock star of your social circle – 20:38
What 3 traits do you need to master to be the guy (or girl) everyone wants to be around?
How do you pinpoint the valuable social capital you bring to friendships so you can leverage it to accelerate the building of future friendships?

Build rock solid friendships effectively and efficiently – 38:46
How many hours does it take to build friendships that last a lifetime?
What is the most effective AND efficient strategy to funnel the best prospects for friendship into your life so you don’t waste time getting to know people who don’t meet your standards?

Planet Money is a different kind of world where the complex economy actually makes sense; where human stories supersede abstract theories. Listeners can learn, laugh, and be entertained. It’s economics, down to earth.

Tune in to Planet Money every week for entertaining stories and insights about how money shapes our world. Stories that can’t be found anywhere else.

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Breakthrough Mediocrity To Greatness With These 4 Strategies | Adam Alter Sep 18, 2023

In today’s episode, we cover getting unstuck with Adam Alter. Adam is a renowned academic and speaker known for his work in marketing and psychology, the New York Times bestselling author of Irresistible: The Rise of Addictive Technology and the Business of Keeping Us Hooked and Drunk Tank Pink: And Other Unexpected Forces That Shape How We Think, Feel, and Behave. His newest book is Anatomy of a Breakthrough: How to Get Unstuck When It Matters Most.

It can feel crippling to get stuck in life and not know how to move forward, so what psychological traps keep you stuck and how do you avoid them, how do you manage your emotions so you don’t waste time staying stuck longer than necessary, and what can you do to create a hot streak every time you get unstuck?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
How can you recognize when you get stuck so you don’t waste your life away?
What is the secret Lionel Messi uses to overcome his performance anxiety?

Your mind is tricking you into staying stuck – 16:42
What are the psychological traps that keep you stuck in life and how do you avoid them or get out of them?

Managing your emotions to get unstuck – 27:10
How do your emotions help you or hinder you when it comes to feeling stuck in life and how do you deal with them?

Fishy life lessons – 39:25
What can we learn from specific fish about the value of patience and always trying to be first?
How do you use failure to get unstuck?

Creating your own hot streak – 44:16
What can you do to create a hot streak of success in your career regardless of where you are in life?

Planet Money is a different kind of world where the complex economy actually makes sense; where human stories supersede abstract theories. Listeners can learn, laugh, and be entertained. It’s economics, down to earth.

Tune in to Planet Money every week for entertaining stories and insights about how money shapes our world. Stories that can’t be found anywhere else.

Listen now to Planet Money from NPR -- wherever you get your podcasts.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Art & Science Of Getting Happier | Arthur C Brooks Sep 11, 2023

In today’s episode, we cover the 4 pillars of happiness with Arthur C Brooks. Arthur is the best selling author of 12 books on topics ranging from economic opportunity to human happiness, and his newest book Build the Life You Want: The Art and Science of Getting Happier that he co-wrote with Oprah Winfrey.

Happiness is a feeling anyone can cultivate but one that is increasingly difficult in a tech-centric world, so what is the best way to manage your emotions to achieve happiness and success, why are extroverts happier than introverts and what can you do to decrease your unhappiness as an introvert, and what is the difference between pleasure and enjoyment that most people don’t know even though it makes the difference between fulfillment and loneliness?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
When is intolerance and hatred necessary?
Why do humans crave social interaction with family and friends?

The secret to happiness – 14:08
What is the key to increasing your happiness no matter what is going on in your life?
How do you manage envy so it doesn’t prevent you from being happy?

Why you need to feel unhappy – 24:08
Why is unhappiness just as important as happiness when it comes to managing your mood from day to day?
What are the 4 pillars of happiness?
What is the most important thing loners need to understand if they want to be happy in their solitude?

Real Friends vs Deal Friends – 37:00
What are the two types of friends we all have and which group contributes to your loneliness?
What are the 5 challenges we face in building strong and healthy relationships?

The right choices to build relationships – 50:36
What two things should you be focusing on to build lifelong relationships with friends, family, and your significant other?
What is the neurochemical difference between pleasure and enjoyment and why does one make you feel empty and lonely?

Planet Money is a different kind of world where the complex economy actually makes sense; where human stories supersede abstract theories. Listeners can learn, laugh, and be entertained. It’s economics, down to earth.

Tune in to Planet Money every week for entertaining stories and insights about how money shapes our world. Stories that can’t be found anywhere else.

Listen now to Planet Money from NPR -- wherever you get your podcasts.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Truth About Your Happiness and How To Boost It Sep 04, 2023

In today’s episode, we cover happiness with 4 of the world’s leading experts on the topic: Arthur C. Brooks, Dr. Robert Waldinger, Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar, and Christoph Schnedlitz.

Happiness and purpose make a life worth living, but what factors contribute to and take away from your ability to be happy, what role do relationships play in your happiness, and how do you build happiness that doesn’t depend on what’s happening in your life?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
Who are the world’s leading experts on happiness?

Building Happiness – 3:50
What simple question can you ask yourself to build life-changing happiness?

Success Addiction – 12:00
How do you get addicted to success and what can you do to break the addiction?

Harvard Happiness Study – 14:24
What is the Harvard Happiness Study and what can you learn from the results to foster happiness in your life?

Social Media and Happiness – 24:25
How does social media affect global happiness and what can you do to protect yourself from its effects?

Relationships and Happiness – 29:02
How much do your relationships influence your lifetime happiness?
What can you do to maintain the relationships in your life that bring you happiness?
What are the biggest happiness myths?

The 3 Happiness Skills – 40:35
What skills should you work on to build resilient happiness?
Why is boredom an important component of happiness?

Planet Money is a different kind of world where the complex economy actually makes sense; where human stories supersede abstract theories. Listeners can learn, laugh, and be entertained. It’s economics, down to earth.

Tune in to Planet Money every week for entertaining stories and insights about how money shapes our world. Stories that can’t be found anywhere else.

Listen now to Planet Money from NPR -- wherever you get your podcasts.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Avoid These 3 Conversation Pitfalls For Masterful Communication | Toolbox Aug 28, 2023

In today’s episode, we cover the 3 pillars of powerful communication with AJ, Johnny, and Coach Michael Herold.

Humans are social creatures and history has taught us that powerful communication can help anyone achieve any goal we have in life, but what are the 3 pillars of powerful communication, how can you strengthen each one, and what are you risking by never becoming a powerful communicator?

What to Listen For

First pillar of powerful communication – 0:00
What is the difference between hearing what someone is telling you vs actively listening to someone?
What are the 3 layers of listening you need to understand so the people around you feel like they are important to you?
What is the crucial skill you are missing to get ahead professionally, personally, and romantically?

Second pillar of powerful communication – 22:17
What is the biggest pitfall you make in conversation that can kill a connection and make people not want to talk to you?
How do you give people value in a conversation so they want to know more about you and spend more time with you?

Third pillar of powerful communication – 35:53
What is the one thing you should pay attention to if you don’t want your friendships, relationships, or even your marriage to fail?
What is an emotional bid and how do you recognize each of the 9 types in conversation so you can build long lasting connections with anyone you meet?

A Word From Our Sponsors

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5 Questions To Work With “Almost” Anyone | Michael Bungay Stanier Aug 21, 2023

The Art of Charm is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/charm today to get 10% off your first month.

Nom Nom delivers fresh dog food with every portion personalized to your dog’s needs, so you can bring out their best. Get 50% off your first two weeks at tryNom.com/artofcharm.

Working out is tough. And finding a workout program that sticks, even tougher. Peloton’s classes don’t feel like a regular workout class, they feel like entertainment. In fact, you’ll be craving your workouts. Get started and download the free Peloton App today.

Backed by a leading clinical trial where nine out of ten men experienced healthier and visibly improved skin, Caldera Lab has the tools to unlock your best first impression and confidence! Use code CHARM at calderalab.com for 20% OFF their best products.

Factor, America’s #1 Ready-To-Eat Meal Kit, can help you fuel up fast with ready-to-eat meals delivered straight to your door. Head to factormeals.com/charm50 to get 50% off your first box.

In today’s episode, we cover relationship building and repairing with Michael Bungay Stanier. Michael is the founder of Box of Crayons, a learning and development company, and the author of several books including his bestseller The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More & Change the Way You Lead Forever and his newest title How to Work with (Almost) Anyone: Five Questions for Building the Best Possible Relationships.

Relationships are not easy to maintain and the best relationships take work, so how do you build the best relationships, what can you do to repair broken relationships, and how do you know you should just walk away?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
What are the negative impacts of not having psychological safety in the workplace?
Why is it important to seek relationships that go beyond safety?
What questions can you ask so you can work with almost anyone?

Increase productivity with language – 15:20
What is the best way to make a to-do list so you’ll actually complete it?
What question can you ask to understand why people don’t like working with you?

Repair the relationship – 31:20
What questions can you ask to stop a relationship from failing?
What questions can you ask to repair a broken relationship?
Can you reset a relationship?

Choose your battles – 41:37
How do you know when you should walk away from a relationship or friendship?

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Elite Communication Tips To Take Your Influence From Ordinary to Extraordinary Aug 14, 2023

The Art of Charm is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/charm today to get 10% off your first month.

Nom Nom delivers fresh dog food with every portion personalized to your dog’s needs, so you can bring out their best. Get 50% off your first two weeks at tryNom.com/artofcharm.

Working out is tough. And finding a workout program that sticks, even tougher. Peloton’s classes don’t feel like a regular workout class, they feel like entertainment. In fact, you’ll be craving your workouts. Get started and download the free Peloton App today.

Backed by a leading clinical trial where nine out of ten men experienced healthier and visibly improved skin, Caldera Lab has the tools to unlock your best first impression and confidence! Use code CHARM at calderalab.com for 20% OFF their best products.

Factor, America’s #1 Ready-To-Eat Meal Kit, can help you fuel up fast with ready-to-eat meals delivered straight to your door. Head to factormeals.com/charm50 to get 50% off your first box.

In today’s episode, we cover influence with Jonah Berger, Zoe Chance, and Vanessa Bohns. Jonah Berger is a professor at the Wharton School at the University of Pennsylvania, a best selling author, and world expert in social influence and consumer behavior. Zoe Chance is a professor at Yale School of Management and a researcher, speaker and consultant who specializes in persuasion, influence and behavioral economics. Vanessa Bonds is a social psychologist and professor at Cornell University, and her research focuses on how people make judgments and decisions in social contexts.

Humans are social creatures so we are always influencing others and being influenced by others, but how does influence work, how do you protect yourself from being influenced by others, and what can you do to become more influential?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
How do others influence you without you being aware of it?
What is the most common mistake we make when trying to influence the people around us and what should you do to avoid making the same mistake?

The 3 layers of listening required for influence – 9:02
Why do you need to listen to others in order to influence them?
What 3 things do you need to listen for so the other person knows you understand them and thus is more susceptible to your influence?

One simple change to boost your influence – 15:07
What one word will amplify your ability to influence the person you’re talking to?
What common mistake do people make when speaking that makes others less likely to respect what they have to say?

Power of the pause – 31:20
Why is silence in conversation so impactful and how can you use it to your advantage?

The number one reason you don’t try – 33:42
How do you reframe rejection so you can embrace it and grow from it rather than avoid it and stop yourself from achieving your goals?
What’s the best way to reject someone so you don’t hurt the person’s feelings?

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Master Change With These 4 Ps | Brad Stulberg Aug 07, 2023

The Art of Charm is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/charm today to get 10% off your first month.

Nom Nom delivers fresh dog food with every portion personalized to your dog’s needs, so you can bring out their best. Get 50% off your first two weeks at tryNom.com/artofcharm.

Working out is tough. And finding a workout program that sticks, even tougher. Peloton’s classes don’t feel like a regular workout class, they feel like entertainment. In fact, you’ll be craving your workouts. Get started and download the free Peloton App today.

Backed by a leading clinical trial where nine out of ten men experienced healthier and visibly improved skin, Caldera Lab has the tools to unlock your best first impression and confidence! Use code CHARM at calderalab.com for 20% OFF their best products.

Factor, America’s #1 Ready-To-Eat Meal Kit, can help you fuel up fast with ready-to-eat meals delivered straight to your door. Head to factormeals.com/charm50 to get 50% off your first box.

In today’s episode, we cover how to master change with Brad Stulberg. Brad regularly contributes to the New York Times and his work has been featured in the Wall Street Journal and the Atlantic, and he is the bestselling author of Peak Performance, The Passion Paradox, The Practice of Groundedness, and his newest: Master of Change: How to Excel When Everything Is Changing – Including You.

Change can rock your world when you’re not prepared for it, so what can you do to become more resilient to change, how do you develop rugged flexibility, and what role does change play in our relationships?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
How many major changes will you encounter in life and how do you prepare for them?
How can you embrace change and use it to grow?
What steps can we take to find balance in our own lives during times of change?

Rugged Flexibility – 13:25
What is rugged flexibility, why do you need it, and how do you build it in your life?

How to be resilient to change – 23:45
What are the two requirements to be resilient to change?
How do you whittle down a list of values to your 3-5 core values and what impact can living in alignment with your core values have on your overall well-being?

Control vs Expectations – 38:03
How do you balance the control you have over a situation with the expectations you have?
How do you handle relationships with people who change in different ways from you?
How do you set expectations with friendships to make your friends feel like they can always come to you?

The 4-P framework to handle change – 57:58
What is the 4-P framework and how can you use it to handle any change you encounter in life?

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How Expectations Keep You Stuck | David Robson Jul 31, 2023

The Art of Charm is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/charm today to get 10% off your first month.

Nom Nom delivers fresh dog food with every portion personalized to your dog’s needs, so you can bring out their best. Get 50% off your first two weeks at tryNom.com/artofcharm.

Working out is tough. And finding a workout program that sticks, even tougher. Peloton’s classes don’t feel like a regular workout class, they feel like entertainment. In fact, you’ll be craving your workouts. Get started and download the free Peloton App today.

Backed by a leading clinical trial where nine out of ten men experienced healthier and visibly improved skin, Caldera Lab has the tools to unlock your best first impression and confidence! Use code CHARM at calderalab.com for 20% OFF their best products.

Factor, America’s #1 Ready-To-Eat Meal Kit, can help you fuel up fast with ready-to-eat meals delivered straight to your door. Head to factormeals.com/charm50 to get 50% off your first box.

In today’s episode, we cover the expectation effect with David Robson. David is an award winning writer who specializes in psychology and neuroscience, and is the author of The Intelligence Trap: Why Smart People Make Dumb Mistakes, and his most recent book, The Expectation Effect: How Your Mind Can Change Your World.

Your expectations can mean the difference between failure and success, but why do your expectations have such a drastic impact, how can you reframe your expectations to achieve success whenever possible, and how do you use visualization techniques to boost your performance in any area overnight?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
What is the expectation effect and why do your expectations impact everything you do?

Reframe expectations to reach your goals – 10:47
How can you reframe your expectations to enjoy working out and achieve the body you’ve always wanted?
Why is it important for you to feel stress and how do you know what too much stress is?
What can you do to reframe expectations to be comfortable with public speaking?

Visualization and Performance – 26:22
What visualization technique can you use to increase your strength by 10% and recover from injury faster?
How do you use visualization to decrease your stress and anxiety?
How do the expectations of people around you affect your performance and what can you do to decrease their impact?

Do not do this if you want to be happy – 40:10
What do you need to avoid doing if you want to maximize your happiness and minimize your daily suffering?
How can you use science to increase your willpower?
How can you harness the science of expectations to build the top performing routine that will reach any goal you set for yourself?
How do you reframe frustration to help you grow?

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The Secret to Finding Your Tribe Through Culture| Marcus Collins Jul 24, 2023

The Art of Charm is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/charm today to get 10% off your first month.

Nom Nom delivers fresh dog food with every portion personalized to your

dog’s needs, so you can bring out their best. Get 50% off your first two weeks at tryNom.com/artofcharm.

Working out is tough. And finding a workout program that sticks, even tougher. Peloton’s classes don’t feel like a regular workout class, they feel like entertainment. In fact, you’ll be craving your workouts. Get started and download the free Peloton App today.

Backed by a leading clinical trial where nine out of ten men experienced healthier and visibly improved skin, Caldera Lab has the tools to unlock your best first impression and confidence! Use code CHARM at calderalab.com for 20% OFF their best products.

Factor, America’s #1 Ready-To-Eat Meal Kit, can help you fuel up fast with ready-to-eat meals delivered straight to your door. Head to factormeals.com/charm50 to get 50% off your first box.

In today’s episode, we cover culture with Dr Marcus Collins. Marcus is an award-winning marketer and cultural translator, the head of strategy at Wieden+Kennedy New York, a clinical assistant professor of marketing at the Ross School of Business, University of Michigan, and the author of For the Culture: The Power Behind What We Buy, What We Do, and Who We Want to Be.

Introduction

Culture is as much a part of everyday life as the air we breathe, but how do we define what a culture is, what is the secret that marketers use to tap into culture and motivate you to take action, and how do you build your own culture (or find a new one)?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
What does the word culture mean and why is culture so important to us?
What are the three systems that make up culture?

Fast Culture vs Slow Culture – 15:15
Why do certain aspects of culture move faster than others and how do they influence each other?
Why is it taboo to talk openly about politics, religion, and money?

Role Theory – 30:11
What is role theory and how is it embedded in every culture?
What is the difference between cultural appropriation and cultural appreciation?

How do you turn a trend into a cultural phenomenon – 45:28
What is a cultural contagion and what two factors determine whether something becomes an official part of a culture?
If you’re not part of a culture, how do you understand a culture to appreciate it and understand where members of that culture are coming from?

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What is Charisma and How to Become Charismatic in 3 Steps | Toolbox Jul 17, 2023

The Art of Charm is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/charm today to get 10% off your first month.

Nom Nom delivers fresh dog food with every portion personalized to your dog’s needs, so you can bring out their best. Get 50% off your first two weeks at tryNom.com/artofcharm.

Working out is tough. And finding a workout program that sticks, even tougher. Peloton’s classes don’t feel like a regular workout class, they feel like entertainment. In fact, you’ll be craving your workouts. Get started and download the free Peloton App today.

Backed by a leading clinical trial where nine out of ten men experienced healthier and visibly improved skin, Caldera Lab has the tools to unlock your best first impression and confidence! Use code CHARM at calderalab.com for 20% OFF their best products.

Factor, America’s #1 Ready-To-Eat Meal Kit, can help you fuel up fast with ready-to-eat meals delivered straight to your door. Head to factormeals.com/charm50 to get 50% off your first box.

In today’s episode, we cover how to grow your charisma with AJ, Johnny, and Coach Michael Herold.

Charismatic people can light up a room and make everyone want to be around them, but what even is charisma, how does your charisma impact your career and relationships for better or worse, and what can you do to unlock your inner charisma to be more memorable and interesting?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
What 3 skill sets do you need to work on to develop your charisma?

How to Grow Your Charisma – 10:50
How do you practice being more present so people feel like you are not ignoring or dismissing them?
What can you do to develop your empathy so people don’t feel judged by you and pushed away?
How do you be more enthusiastic so people don’t think you’re boring?

Emotional Climate – 25:00
What emotional climate are you creating around people and how do you make a fun, positive, inviting emotional climate that makes people want to spend more time with you?
Why is pessimism detrimental to your charisma and how can you become optimistic?

Confidence – 36:02
How do you exude confidence that draws people in everytime you walk into the room?
Why is vulnerability key to showing confidence?

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Don’t Get Fooled: How Con Artists Gain Your Trust | Chris Chabris Jul 10, 2023

The Art of Charm is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/charm today to get 10% off your first month.

Nom Nom delivers fresh dog food with every portion personalized to your

dog’s needs, so you can bring out their best. Get 50% off your first two weeks at tryNom.com/artofcharm.

Working out is tough. And finding a workout program that sticks, even tougher. Peloton’s classes don’t feel like a regular workout class, they feel like entertainment. In fact, you’ll be craving your workouts. Get started and download the free Peloton App today.

Backed by a leading clinical trial where nine out of ten men experienced healthier and visibly improved skin, Caldera Lab has the tools to unlock your best first impression and confidence! Use code CHARM at calderalab.com for 20% OFF their best products.

Factor, America’s #1 Ready-To-Eat Meal Kit, can help you fuel up fast with ready-to-eat meals delivered straight to your door. Head to factormeals.com/charm50 to get 50% off your first box.

In today’s episode, we cover deception and fraud with Chris Chabris. Chris is a research psychologist, Senior Investigator at Geisinger Health System, visiting fellow at the Institute for Advanced Study, and associate professor of Psychology and co-director of the Neuroscience Program at Union College in New York.

Scammers and con men are everywhere these days, but how can you recognize when you’re being scammed, what behaviors or habits of your own should be aware of that tip you off as a potential victim, and what tactics do scammers, businesses, and governments use on us to get what they want?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
Why are people fascinated by conmen and scammers?
How did AJ get scammed in Thailand and what can you learn to avoid being scammed anywhere?

How scammers choose their targets – 13:44
What 4 key cognitive habits do scammers exploit in their targets and how can you stop them from exploiting those habits in you?

How we help scammers to scam us – 33:50
What do we unconsciously do to help people deceive us?
How do people get away with large scale fraud and deception?
What are the 4 hooks that businesses and governments use to deceive us?

The weapons of scammers – 52:30
How do scammers and con men use words and memories against us?
How does your memory deceive you every time you try to remember something?

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How To Read Body Language Like An FBI Agent Jul 03, 2023

The Art of Charm is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/charm today to get 10% off your first month.

Nom Nom delivers fresh dog food with every portion personalized to your

dog’s needs, so you can bring out their best. Get 50% off your first two weeks at tryNom.com/artofcharm.

Working out is tough. And finding a workout program that sticks, even tougher. Peloton’s classes don’t feel like a regular workout class, they feel like entertainment. In fact, you’ll be craving your workouts. Get started and download the free Peloton App today.

Backed by a leading clinical trial where nine out of ten men experienced healthier and visibly improved skin, Caldera Lab has the tools to unlock your best first impression and confidence! Use code CHARM at calderalab.com for 20% OFF their best products.

Factor, America’s #1 Ready-To-Eat Meal Kit, can help you fuel up fast with ready-to-eat meals delivered straight to your door. Head to factormeals.com/charm50 to get 50% off your first box.

In today’s episode, we cover body language with former FBI agents Jack Schafer and Joe Navarro, trust and body language expert Abbie Maroño, and CEO of The Behavior Company Anne Maartje Oud, some of the leading experts in body language.

We all possess the ability to read body language before we can form words, but in today’s world we seem to disregard this incredible ability early on, so what happened, why is it more important than ever, and what can you do to quickly relearn this invaluable skill?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00

Why we (now) suck at reading body language – 3:01
How did we get so bad at reading body language in the west when we’re born with this ability?
What is the only thing you can do to change a first impression?
How do you build trust rapidly and effectively?

What makes sincere human connection – 11:22
What are the 3 components you need to build a sincere human connection?

FBI advice for introverts – 23:01
When approaching a group of people, how do you know who is easiest to talk to?
How do you know if you’re making someone uncomfortable and what can you do to make the other person comfortable?

Body language myths – 31:25
What are the biggest misconceptions people have about body language?

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Talk To Anyone Anywhere. Breaking The Ice (Toolbox) Jun 26, 2023

The Art of Charm is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/charm today to get 10% off your first month.

Nom Nom delivers fresh dog food with every portion personalized to your

dog’s needs, so you can bring out their best. Get 50% off your first two weeks at tryNom.com/artofcharm.

Working out is tough. And finding a workout program that sticks, even tougher. Peloton’s classes don’t feel like a regular workout class, they feel like entertainment. In fact, you’ll be craving your workouts. Get started and download the free Peloton App today.

Backed by a leading clinical trial where nine out of ten men experienced healthier and visibly improved skin, Caldera Lab has the tools to unlock your best first impression and confidence! Use code CHARM at calderalab.com for 20% OFF their best products.

Factor, America’s #1 Ready-To-Eat Meal Kit, can help you fuel up fast with ready-to-eat meals delivered straight to your door. Head to factormeals.com/charm50 to get 50% off your first box.

In today’s episode, we cover breaking the ice with AJ, Johnny, and Coach Michael.

Taking the first step is often the hardest, so when it comes to breaking the ice what is the most effective way to strike up a conversation, what mindset can you cultivate that will make conversations flow effortlessly, and what can you do to become unforgettable in the eyes of people you meet?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
How do you start conversations with strangers without coming off as awkward?

The Conversation Formula – 7:50
What are some examples of simple questions to ask in social, romantic, or professional environments to start a conversation?
Why is it important to focus on "we" moments in conversations rather than just talking about yourself?
What questions should you avoid in conversation?

What Should You Say Next – 21:24
Why should you avoid asking questions over and over again, and what should you say after someone answers your question?
If curiosity is the key to great conversations, how do you cultivate your own curiosity so conversations don’t feel awkward and forced?
What topics should you avoid when talking to someone new?

Become Unforgettable – 27:57
How do you create a positive, memorable impression so people never forget you and look forward to spending time with you?
What exercise can you use in a conversation to create a stronger bond with anyone?

With all of these tips in mind, it's important to remember that building meaningful relationships still takes time and effort. It's not a one-time event; rather, it's an ongoing process that grows with each new connection. Working on developing meaningful relationships may bring success in the professional or personal goals desired. Nevertheless, it also requires a commitment to get out of your comfort zone, acknowledge different points of view, listen more than you talk, and ask thoughtful questions about the person and what they stand for. Ultimately, when we put care into connecting to others on a more focused level and look beyond our surface interests or intentions, we can create stronger connections that have a lasting impact on our lives.

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How To Journal Your Way To Massive Transformation | Ceri Samvilian Jun 19, 2023

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Working out is tough. And finding a workout program that sticks, even tougher. Peloton’s classes don’t feel like a regular workout class, they feel like entertainment. In fact, you’ll be craving your workouts. Get started and download the free Peloton App today.

Backed by a leading clinical trial where nine out of ten men experienced healthier and visibly improved skin, Caldera Lab has the tools to unlock your best first impression and confidence! Use code CHARM at calderalab.com for 20% OFF their best products.

Factor, America’s #1 Ready-To-Eat Meal Kit, can help you fuel up fast with ready-to-eat meals delivered straight to your door. Head to factormeals.com/charm50 to get 50% off your first box.

In today’s episode, we cover journaling with Ceri Samvilian. Ceri is an expert on journaling, a certified life coach, author of Journal and discover your authentic self, and speaker with 20 years of experience in human resources.

The most important relationship you can have in life is with yourself, but how do you use journaling to nurture and strengthen that relationship, what simple journal prompt can you use to defeat overthinking, and when is it more important to journal so you are better capable of handling the inevitable tough times in life?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
If you’re feeling stuck in life, what can you do today to get unstuck and start building unstoppable momentum?
How can you use journaling to figure out who your authentic self is?

The Principles of Effective Journaling – 19:45
How do you start journaling?
What questions can you ask yourself to make journaling productive?
How can journaling help individuals become more self-aware?

Who should journal? – 30:50
Why do men need to journal?
When is it more important to journal?
What questions can you ask yourself to improve your journaling practice and make it more enjoyable?

The one thing all humans need in order to be happy? – 47:20
How does journaling help you find the one thing you need in order to be happy?
How do the “masks” we wear prevent us from achieving our dreams?
How do you identify the masks you wear around different people so you can understand where your road blocks are between you and your potential?

Journaling is a powerful practice that helps bring clarity and understanding to even the most confusing of inner voices. It just takes a few simple steps to start living an empowered life, starting with choosing a pen, grabbing a notebook or opening an app, and selecting a prompt that works for you. Although self-development is often a bumpy road, Ceri's journal can help you navigate it more easily and string those bumps together into mountains of success and joy for your future. Don’t let the intimidating thought of taking that first step prevent you from reaping its rewards. You deserve to be authentic, so set aside some time today for self-reflection and overthinking prevention—start journaling now!

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Effective Communication Tools For Top Tier Leadership | Brett Crozier Jun 12, 2023

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dog’s needs, so you can bring out their best. Get 50% off your first two weeks at tryNom.com/artofcharm.

Working out is tough. And finding a workout program that sticks, even tougher. Peloton’s classes don’t feel like a regular workout class, they feel like entertainment. In fact, you’ll be craving your workouts. Get started and download the free Peloton App today.

Backed by a leading clinical trial where nine out of ten men experienced healthier and visibly improved skin, Caldera Lab has the tools to unlock your best first impression and confidence! Use code CHARM at calderalab.com for 20% OFF their best products.

Factor, America’s #1 Ready-To-Eat Meal Kit, can help you fuel up fast with ready-to-eat meals delivered straight to your door. Head to factormeals.com/charm50 to get 50% off your first box.

In today’s episode, we cover leadership, relationship building, and feedback with Brett Crozier. Brett graduated from the United States Naval Academy, served as the Commanding Officer of a combat F/A-18 strike fighter squadron, the world’s largest and most advanced communications ship USS Blue Ridge, and the aircraft carrier USS Theodore Roosevelt before retiring from the Navy in 2022. Brett is the author of Surf When You Can: Lessons in Life, Loyalty, and Leadership from a Maverick Navy Captain.

On this episode of The Art of Charm, we interview Brett Crozier, retired Captain of the US Navy and former Commanding Officer of the USS Roosevelt. We dive into the importance of teamwork and leadership in implementing successful missions and running a floating city. Brett shares his experiences launching fighter jets and navigating the challenges of COVID-19 on the Roosevelt. He also provides valuable insights on building relationships and feedback mechanisms as a leader.

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
Why has surfing always been important to Brett?
What goals did Brett have when he first entered the Naval Academy?
How did Brett’s fighter pilot experience influence his leadership abilities?

Building Trust Cross Culturally – 10:08
How do you build trust with someone from a different culture?
Why are sports important to building relationships in structures of hierarchy?

Relying on Instincts When Training isn’t Enough – 23:47
What do you do when you encounter a situation that wasn’t covered in class or training?
How do you make sure you get quality feedback from the people who matter?
What two traits do you need to develop to be an effective leader?

Navy Captain Sends Email, Gets Fired – 37:55
Why did Brett Crozier lose his position as Captain of an aircraft carrier when COVID started?

Leadership is more than simply a position of authority; it's an opportunity to build relationships, bridge divides, and promote safe and healthy practices. From this discussion we can take away valuable lessons for not only overcoming challenges but also directing a team towards sustainable success. We can treat each situation as an opportunity to learn, grow, and build meaningful connections while developing skills that will aid us when leading others anywhere be it at home or work.

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Secrets to Unlocking Your Inner Super Connector | Toolbox Jun 05, 2023

The Art of Charm is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/charm today to get 10% off your first month.

Nom Nom delivers fresh dog food with every portion personalized to your

dog’s needs, so you can bring out their best. Get 50% off your first two weeks at tryNom.com/artofcharm.

Working out is tough. And finding a workout program that sticks, even tougher. Peloton’s classes don’t feel like a regular workout class, they feel like entertainment. In fact, you’ll be craving your workouts. Get started and download the free Peloton App today.

Backed by a leading clinical trial where nine out of ten men experienced healthier and visibly improved skin, Caldera Lab has the tools to unlock your best first impression and confidence! Use code CHARM at calderalab.com for 20% OFF their best products.

Factor, America’s #1 Ready-To-Eat Meal Kit, can help you fuel up fast with ready-to-eat meals delivered straight to your door. Head to factormeals.com/charm50 to get 50% off your first box.

In today’s episode, we cover how to become the super connector everyone wants to know.

Super Connectors aren't born with some special talent. By understanding what others value from a connection, focusing on how each person can help the other rather than focusing on what's in it for themselves, and making sure all interactions leave both parties feeling inspired and motivated, super connectors make invaluable connections that open doors to success. In this episode we explore what makes a successful super connector as well as simple steps to get on track towards becoming one yourself.

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00

Adam Grant and the Secret to Effective Networking – 3:35
How do you amplify your social capital and build a high value network in five minutes?
What is the secret to making your networking efforts more effective?

Super Connector Toolbox – 28:40
What is the best way to introduce two people you think will benefit from knowing each other?
What’s the best way to follow up with someone you meet at a networking event?

Keith Ferrazzi and Upgrading Acquaintances to Friends – 36:50
What are the 8 attributes of a high performing relationship?
How do you turn an acquaintance into a lifelong friend?

Building a high value network and amplifying your social capital need not be a long, drawn out process. Just five minutes a day can go a long way in making your connections more valuable and meaningful. Start by introducing two people that you think could benefit from knowing each other, as this is a great way to get the ball rolling. Following up with someone soon after meeting them at an event is important to foster a new relationship. Connecting on an emotional level, being sincere, and sharing your knowledge are all essential pieces for creating strong bonds with others.

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Break Free From Limiting Beliefs And Self-Destructive Patterns Today | Vienna Pharaon May 29, 2023

The Art of Charm is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/charm today to get 10% off your first month.

Nom Nom delivers fresh dog food with every portion personalized to your

dog’s needs, so you can bring out their best. Get 50% off your first two weeks at tryNom.com/artofcharm.

Working out is tough. And finding a workout program that sticks, even tougher. Peloton’s classes don’t feel like a regular workout class, they feel like entertainment. In fact, you’ll be craving your workouts. Get started and download the free Peloton App today.

Backed by a leading clinical trial where nine out of ten men experienced healthier and visibly improved skin, Caldera Lab has the tools to unlock your best first impression and confidence! Use code CHARM at calderalab.com for 20% OFF their best products.

Factor, America’s #1 Ready-To-Eat Meal Kit, can help you fuel up fast with ready-to-eat meals delivered straight to your door. Head to factormeals.com/charm50 to get 50% off your first box.

In today’s episode, we cover how patterns from your childhood impact your current relationships with Vienna Pharaon. Vienna is a licensed family and marriage therapist, the author of the national bestseller The Origins of You: How Breaking Family Patterns Can Liberate the Way We Live and Love,

We all have behaviors that help and hurt us, but the behaviors that hurt us aren’t always obvious, so what can you do to identify the behavioral patterns that negatively impact your life and relationships and what can you do to overcome them so you can build confidence and long-lasting fulfilling relationships?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
How do our childhood experiences create patterns in our relationships, behavior, and communication?

Identifying old wounds you don’t know about – 14:40
What are the obvious signs you have detrimental thought patterns left over from your childhood that are negatively impacting your relationships today?
How do you stop dating people who aren’t good for you?

Breaking patterns and healing old wounds – 29:00
What steps can you take to break harmful patterns in yourself and heal the wounds that cause the patterns to keep repeating?

The value of grief – 39:50
What is grief exactly and why is it important to feel and process grief when we experience it?
How does dealing with your grief improve your relationships and prevent them from failing?

Breaking childhood patterns is something that can take time, but it is an important step for anyone in order to create relationships that are healthy and fulfilling. Whether you are trying to build healthier relationships with friends or a romantic partner, understanding your family system is key. Taking a closer look at the childhood patterns that show up in adult life can provide insight into how we interact with others and sabotage our social and romantic relationships. By implementing the four-step process laid out in this episode, you can start breaking these patterns today, pivot in directions that bring joy and confidence, and create more dynamic relationships as a result of it. After working through this process, you will be empowered by the new-found understanding of what brought you to your current reality - giving yourself permission to make different choices going forward will reward you mentally and affirmingly for many years to come.

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How to Unlock Your X-Factor in Dating and Build Attraction Effortlessly May 22, 2023

The Art of Charm is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/charm today to get 10% off your first month.

Nom Nom delivers fresh dog food with every portion personalized to your

dog’s needs, so you can bring out their best. Get 50% off your first two weeks at tryNom.com/artofcharm.

Working out is tough. And finding a workout program that sticks, even tougher. Peloton’s classes don’t feel like a regular workout class, they feel like entertainment. In fact, you’ll be craving your workouts. Get started and download the free Peloton App today.

Backed by a leading clinical trial where nine out of ten men experienced healthier and visibly improved skin, Caldera Lab has the tools to unlock your best first impression and confidence! Use code CHARM at calderalab.com for 20% OFF their best products.

Factor, America’s #1 Ready-To-Eat Meal Kit, can help you fuel up fast with ready-to-eat meals delivered straight to your door. Head to factormeals.com/charm50 to get 50% off your first box.

In today’s episode, we cover dating and building attraction effortlessly with AJ, Johnny, and Coach Michael Herold.

Technology has made it easier than ever to stay connected, so why are we dealing with a pandemic of loneliness and what can you do to lift yourself out of it and create a vibrant social life?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
Does the pandemic of loneliness affect men or women more and what can we do about it?
What 3 areas in your life is technology hindering you the most and what can you do to develop them, unlocking your true potential?

Go from Ordinary to Extraordinary – 13:02
What can you do to be extraordinary and remain authentic to who you are?
How do you learn to be funnier and more charming?

Building Rock Solid Confidence – 25:35
How do you build confidence and why do you need to work on it in order to maintain it?

All Men Need a Vibrant Social Life – 35:23
Why is it important to have a vibrant social circle if you want to find a quality romantic partner?
How do you build a social life women will be excited to be a part of?

Loneliness affects us all. To conquer this sadness we need to work on ourselves and embrace technology but also find ways to have genuine human interactions. Begin by building confidence which comes from pushing yourself out of your comfort zone, openly expressing your feelings and striving to be the best version of yourself. Socializing with others is also essential for living a fulfilled life, as it helps you build connections and find prospective romantic partners. By being authentic, striving for excellence and working on self-improvement you can become an extraordinary individual while also valuing companionship without disregarding your independence. Start making connections today that will help you release the pandemic of loneliness in your life and boost your chances of living an enriching life full of quality relationships!

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Improve Your Communication With Improv Comedy Techniques | Kelly Leonard May 15, 2023

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Nom Nom delivers fresh dog food with every portion personalized to your

dog’s needs, so you can bring out their best. Get 50% off your first two weeks at tryNom.com/artofcharm.

Working out is tough. And finding a workout program that sticks, even tougher. Peloton’s classes don’t feel like a regular workout class, they feel like entertainment. In fact, you’ll be craving your workouts. Get started and download the free Peloton App today.

Backed by a leading clinical trial where nine out of ten men experienced healthier and visibly improved skin, Caldera Lab has the tools to unlock your best first impression and confidence! Use code CHARM at calderalab.com for 20% OFF their best products.

Factor, America’s #1 Ready-To-Eat Meal Kit, can help you fuel up fast with ready-to-eat meals delivered straight to your door. Head to factormeals.com/charm50 to get 50% off your first box.

In today’s episode, we cover the importance of improvising with Kelly Leonard. Kelly's career in the theater industry began by accident. He was hired as a dishwasher at Second City in Chicago, where he met John Favreau. He realized improv was not magic, but a skill that could be practiced and applied in business, parenting, and relationships. Kelly established himself as an executive producer for Second City, coordinating performances for generations of comics, actors, and writers. Kelly has written a book, "Yes, And," outlining how he believes the core principles behind improvisation can be applied to spark and drive collaboration.

In this episode of The Art of Charm, we explore the world of improvisation and its many benefits in communication, comedy, and creativity. From empathy and collaboration to resilience through failure, our guest speaker shares his experiences using improv to navigate ambiguity and uncertainty. We discuss the importance of listening, reframing, and storytelling, as well as the concept of post traumatic growth.

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
How did Kelly Leonard get started in improv?
Why is improv important for innovation?

The Core Principles of Improv – 10:58
What are the core principles of improv and why do they apply to many areas of life?
How do you lead a healthy conversation with someone you disagree with?

The Magic of Mistakes – 24:02
How do we leverage mistakes to create success or make progress toward your goals?
What simple exercise can you use to reframe negative events in your life to be positive?

Creating Comedy – 42:30
How do you formally create comedy?
How do you give status to people you’re talking to?
What simple tool can you start using today to make conversations easier, engaging, and more fun for anyone involved?

Many of us are familiar with improv comedy but did you know the principles of improv can be used in business, parenting, and relationships? Every time you have a conversation with someone, you are improvising because you can’t predict what the other person will say and so you must improvise every time the other person responds to something you say. The best conversations are fluid and dynamic, making both people feel comfortable and natural. But to be good at improvising, you must practice it just like you would any other skill.

Resources from this Episode

Yes, And: How Improvisation Reverses "No, But" Thinking and Improves Creativity and Collaboration by Kelly Leonard

Kelly Leonard on Twitter

Second City’s website

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Gretchen Rubin | Happiness and the Four Tendencies

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Life In 5 Senses: How Our Senses Connect Us | Gretchen Rubin May 08, 2023

The Art of Charm is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/charm today to get 10% off your first month.

In today’s episode, we cover harnessing the five senses to level up your life with Gretchen Rubin. Gretchen is an author and speaker who discovered the power of connecting with the five senses. After a visit to the eye doctor, where she learned she was at risk of losing her vision, she realized how much she took her senses for granted. Her epiphany led her to explore how we can use our senses to be happier and more fulfilled. Gretchen now shares her insights on how to pump up, calm down, get focused, get creative, and connect with others by tapping into the power of the five senses.

On this episode of The Art of Charm, we delve into the fascinating topic of how our senses shape our perception of the world around us. We learn that while preferences for taste are innate, preferences for smells are learned associations that vary by culture and personal experience. We explore how we can use our senses to improve our well-being, including listening better, using touch to calm anxiety, and substituting sensory stimulation to curb unhealthy snacking habits.

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
Why do we prefer certain senses (touch, taste, smell, sound, sight) over others and how do we tune into our neglected senses to get more out of life?
How do our senses help connect us with other people?

How your culture influences your five senses – 16:01
How does the culture you grow up in influence the way you perceive the world through your senses?
How do you use your senses to make time slow down so life doesn’t fly by so quickly?

Nurture neglected senses to get more out of life – 23:58
What simple exercise can you do to make everyday experiences feel new and exciting again?

Use your senses to conquer weaknesses – 31:22
How can you tap into your five senses to overcome cravings for unhealthy foods?
How do you use your sense of touch to overcome anxiety?

Delve into the fascinating topic of how our senses shape our perception of the world around us. While preferences for taste are innate, preferences for smells are learned associations that vary by culture and personal experience. We can use our senses to improve our well-being, including listening better, using touch to feel calm, and substituting sensory stimulation to curb unhealthy snacking habits. We also delve into the power of our brains to recognize faces and the challenges of navigating open-plan offices. Tune in for a thought-provoking discussion on the role of our senses in our daily lives.

A Word From Our Sponsors

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To get your hands on this training and immediately start improving your relationships, go to theartofcharm.com/sc

Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!

Resources from this Episode

Gretchen Rubin’s website

Life in Five Senses: How Exploring the Senses Got Me Out of My Head and Into the World by Gretchen Rubin

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Master Your Mindset with David Goggins (Episode 730)

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Build Resilience & Grit Like a Navy SEAL: Featuring David Goggins, Rich Diviney & Dan Luna May 01, 2023

The Art of Charm is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/charm today to get 10% off your first month.

Nom Nom delivers fresh dog food with every portion personalized to your

dog’s needs, so you can bring out their best. Get 50% off your first two weeks at tryNom.com/artofcharm.

Working out is tough. And finding a workout program that sticks, even tougher. Peloton’s classes don’t feel like a regular workout class, they feel like entertainment. In fact, you’ll be craving your workouts. Get started and download the free Peloton App today.

Backed by a leading clinical trial where nine out of ten men experienced healthier and visibly improved skin, Caldera Lab has the tools to unlock your best first impression and confidence! Use code CHARM at calderalab.com for 20% OFF their best products.

Factor, America’s #1 Ready-To-Eat Meal Kit, can help you fuel up fast with ready-to-eat meals delivered straight to your door. Head to factormeals.com/charm50 to get 50% off your first box.

In today’s episode, we cover the most valuable lessons Navy SEALS have shared with us over the years.

Navy SEALS are some of the toughest guys on the planet, so what can they teach you about motivation, overcoming your deepest fears, rising to be the best leader you can be, and setting goals to help you achieve your dreams and unlock your potential?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00

David Goggins – 3:28
How did David Goggins find the strength and motivation to unlock his potential and overcome all of his limiting beliefs?
What helped David Goggins pull off superhuman feats like running over 70 ultra-distance races and doing 4000 pull ups in 17 hours?

Rich Diviney – 21:30
What’s the difference between anxiety and insecurity and what can you do to overcome both?
What can you do to feel more confident about the present and your future?
Why do we feel fear and what can you do to overcome your fears so you can unlock your potential?
How do you become a better leader?

Dan Luna – 47:25
What can you learn about goal setting from a Navy SEAL so you can achieve your wildest dreams?
How do you stop being so hard on yourself?

True confidence comes from knowing you can perform no matter what the environment is like around you. Fear is a combination of uncertainty and anxiety, but you can control both by asking yourself what you can control in the moment and taking action towards it. Exposure to fear helps train your brain to step through fear and get less afraid. Developing our attributes takes self-motivation, self-direction, and a willingness to step into discomfort and uncertainty. And remember, practicing stepping into fears can lead to greater confidence and resilience.

Resources from this Episode

Rich Diviney | 5 Navy Seal Attributes To Annihilate Any Obstacle

5 Tips To Lead Like A Navy SEAL In Any Setting | Dan Luna

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

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Better Dating Through Self-Development w/ Nishant Patel Apr 24, 2023

The Art of Charm is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/charm today to get 10% off your first month.

Nom Nom delivers fresh dog food with every portion personalized to your

dog’s needs, so you can bring out their best. Get 50% off your first two weeks at tryNom.com/artofcharm.

Working out is tough. And finding a workout program that sticks, even tougher. Peloton’s classes don’t feel like a regular workout class, they feel like entertainment. In fact, you’ll be craving your workouts. Get started and download the free Peloton App today.

Backed by a leading clinical trial where nine out of ten men experienced healthier and visibly improved skin, Caldera Lab has the tools to unlock your best first impression and confidence! Use code CHARM at calderalab.com for 20% OFF their best products.

Factor, America’s #1 Ready-To-Eat Meal Kit, can help you fuel up fast with ready-to-eat meals delivered straight to your door. Head to factormeals.com/charm50 to get 50% off your first box.

In today’s episode, we cover self development and acceptance commitment therapy with Art of Charm alumnus Nishant Patel. Nishant went through the Art of Charm bootcamp 15 years ago and went on to become a successful practitioner of Acceptance Commitment Therapy.

The stories we tell ourselves define how we see the world and interact with the people around us, so what are these stories we tell, how do you tell if they’re helping or hindering you, and how do you tell yourself better stories to achieve your dream life?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
How did the pickup era start?
Why was the Art of Charm started?

The origin of self-development for men – 11:49
Why do men get into self-development?
What is life like after an Art of Charm bootcamp?

How do humans see the world? – 28:06
What stories do we tell ourselves that shape how we live in this world and interact with other people?
How do you learn to be better at life?

Why should you meditate? – 43:22
What is meditation and how can it reduce your suffering?
What are the 4 practical benefits of meditation that will change your life?

We are gifted powerful minds as humans but without any documentation to explain how to use them. Self-development acts as a manual to understand and leverage the minds we are given. Men often find their way into self-development through dating because in order to have success in the world of dating, men need to be high value to consistently attract women. And becoming high value takes a lot of work. Self-development allows us to understand who we are and what we need to do to get to where we want to be.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!

Resources from this Episode

The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom by Don Miguel Ruiz

The Voice of Knowledge: A Practical Guide to Inner Peace by Don Miguel Ruiz

The Work of Byron Katie

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

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Navigating Breakups: Rebound Smarter, Stronger, and Confident (Toolbox) Apr 17, 2023

The Art of Charm is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/charm today to get 10% off your first month.

Nom Nom delivers fresh dog food with every portion personalized to your

dog’s needs, so you can bring out their best. Get 50% off your first two weeks at tryNom.com/artofcharm.

Working out is tough. And finding a workout program that sticks, even tougher. Peloton’s classes don’t feel like a regular workout class, they feel like entertainment. In fact, you’ll be craving your workouts. Get started and download the free Peloton App today.

Backed by a leading clinical trial where nine out of ten men experienced healthier and visibly improved skin, Caldera Lab has the tools to unlock your best first impression and confidence! Use code CHARM at calderalab.com for 20% OFF their best products.

Factor, America’s #1 Ready-To-Eat Meal Kit, can help you fuel up fast with ready-to-eat meals delivered straight to your door. Head to factormeals.com/charm50 to get 50% off your first box.

In today’s episode, we cover breakups with AJ, Johnny, and Michael Herold.

Breakups are painful whether you’re breaking up with someone or being broken up with, so what is the best way to handle a breakup, what is the worst thing you can do after a breakup, and what can you do to stand out in a sea of unlimited options when you start dating again?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
What damage is hookup culture doing to you and the people around you?
What is the worst thing you can do after a breakup?
What is the best way to handle a breakup?

Rejection can cause anger and lower IQ – 13:35
How does rejection affect your mental state?
What can you do to overcome your fear of rejection and start dating the people you’re attracted to?

Stand Out in the Modern Dating Market – 25:21
What steps do you need to take to stand out from the crowd in a dating market of unlimited options?
How do you spark attraction on the first date?
What are some ways to effectively build a social circle?

Core Values and Dating – 40:13
Why do you need to identify your core values to be successful in dating and what can you do to figure out what your core values are?
How do you build a weekly routine that filters in high quality dating prospects?

Explore the ups and downs of dating in today's world! We dive deep into the pain of rejection and what it does to our brains, as well as the damage caused by breakups. We also discuss the best ways to build a successful social life and the importance of physical self-care. Join us as we share tips on how to stand out in a world with unlimited options and how to improve your online dating profile. We also touch on the power of weak ties and how they could be the key to finding your perfect match.

Resources from this Episode

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Prince Ea’s YouTube channel

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Understanding Oneself: Lessons in Self-Love and Personal Growth w/ Prince EA Apr 10, 2023

The Art of Charm is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/charm today to get 10% off your first month.

In today’s episode, we cover happiness and fulfillment with Prince Ea. Prince Ea grew up as a shy, introverted kid who discovered conscious hip hop in high school and was inspired to make music to educate others like the rappers he admired did for him. He pursued a career in hip hop but found himself constantly comparing and competing with other artists which led him to question the meaning of happiness. He stopped rapping and began reading books on Buddhism, Hinduism, Taoism, and psychotherapy to find the answer. He found that happiness is inside all of us and began sharing his insights through poetry and informative content. He continues to be the change he wants to see in the world and helps others find peace in their own lives.

The journey to find fulfillment in life is filled with obstacles and distractions, so what can you do to overcome them, what resources can you use to find happiness and fulfillment, and how can you know who to bring with you on your journey so they don’t hold you back?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
What advantages does being shy grant you over people who are extroverted?
How do you avoid the comparison trap of social media so you don’t get lost in beating yourself up over not doing or having enough?

Failure and Self-Criticism – 12:48
How do you view failure so you don’t bogged down when something you create doesn’t have the reception or impact you thought it would?
What can you do to be more patient?

Maximize the Value You Take From Books – 23:06
How do you approach a book to get the most value out of it?
What can you do to unlock your inner confidence and create lasting changes in your life?

Filtering People In and Out of Your Life – 32:28
How do you know who to allow into your life and who to remove from your life?

We explore stories of self-discovery and inner growth, ranging from the importance of self-love to the power of books and the pivotal role of relationships in our lives. We hear about a rapper's journey to finding peace, the value of prioritizing one's own world, and how comparing oneself to others online can lead to a trap. Additionally, we take a closer look at the significance of friendships, how to find a tribe that aligns with our energy, and the role language plays in our relationships. Tune in for insights and tips to cultivate personal growth and create a more fulfilling life.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Are you ready to take your career to the next level in 2023? Looking to grow your high-value social circle?

We’ve packaged our best insights inside a course called, Social Capital. And, as a thank you for being a podcast listener, we want to give you this training for FREE to start 2023.

To get your hands on this training and immediately start improving your relationships, go to theartofcharm.com/sc

Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!

Resources from this Episode

Prince Ea on Instagram

Prince Ea on Twitter

Prince Ea’s website

The Mood Cure: The 4-Step Program to Take Charge of Your Emotions--Today

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

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The Myth Of Normal & The Trauma We Acquire | Gabor Maté Apr 03, 2023

The Art of Charm is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/charm today to get 10% off your first month.

In today’s episode, we cover the myth of normal with Gabor Mate. Gabor is a renowned physician and author who has dedicated his life to exploring the themes of health, normality, and mental health. With a background in medicine, Gabor challenges existing norms and values, advocating for a world in which our practices reflect the true needs of individuals and society. He has written a number of books, including his best-selling work The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, and Healing in a Toxic Culture, in which he questions traditional ideas of what is normal and challenges readers to think critically about our assumptions.

Modern society is rewarding us for unhealthy behavior and punishing us for healthy behavior, but how did this come to be, how is it affecting you and everyone you care about, and what steps can you take to protect yourself and your loved ones?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
What is the myth of normal?
How has culture become toxic to the human condition?
Why is being nice harmful to your mental health?

Modern culture is destroying parent-child relationships – 15:37
How does modern culture erode a child’s ability to form bonds with their parents and what can you do ensure you have a healthy relationship with your kids?
Why do we feel the need to escape reality and pursue virtual relationships and virtual experiences?

What is trauma? – 25:11
How do we misuse the word “trauma” and how does it lead us to ignore serious problems in our relationships?
What can you do to heal your trauma so it stops harming you and your relationships?

Can we use anger to heal? – 35:40
Why is anger important for self-respect and feeling good about yourself and what is the difference between unhealthy and healthy anger?
What 5 steps can you take to overcome your limiting beliefs so you can unlock your potential and achieve your dreams?

What does it mean to be “normal” in a society where normal behavior seems increasingly harmful to our health and relationships? All the time we spend inside, alone, and on devices is not doing us any favors. But how did this happen? What pushed humans to develop lifestyles that are making us unhappy and unhealthy? It starts with the parents and how we have structured our lives to promote relationships that don’t serve us, discourage healthy expression of our emotions and boundary setting.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Are you ready to take your career to the next level in 2023? Looking to grow your high-value social circle?

After coaching over 10,000 clients including military special operators and Fortune 500 executives we’ve learned a thing or two about what it actually takes to grow your network. In fact, over 90% of the amazing guests on this show are from referrals in our personal networks.

We’ve packaged our best insights inside a course called, Social Capital. And, as a thank you for being a podcast listener, we want to give you this training for FREE to start 2023.

To get your hands on this training and immediately start improving your relationships, go to theartofcharm.com/sc

Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!

Resources from this Episode

The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, and Healing in a Toxic Culture by Gabor Mate

Gabor Mate’s website

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

The Harvard Happiness Study & What it Takes to Be Socially Fit | Dr. Robert Waldinger | AOC Podcast

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Network Building In A Hostile World (Toolbox) Mar 27, 2023

The Art of Charm is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/charm today to get 10% off your first month.

In today’s episode, we cover how to forge a thriving life with AJ, Johnny, and Coach Michael.

We are at war with the modern world when it comes to leading lives of satisfaction and fulfillment because technology and society are pushing us to be depressed and isolated, so how do you overcome it, what can you do to build a thriving social life, and how do you determine a mission that keeps you focused and driven?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
What is the key to health, wellness, and success in the modern world?

Navigating daily life, office politics, and media can lead to feeling isolated – 10:23
How is the modern world pushing us to isolate and how do you overcome it so you don’t end up sad and lonely?

How to build a new social circle – 21:11
Where do you start if you want to create an exciting social life?
What do we use to add value to peoples’ lives and enrich the relationships in our lives so people value us and want to spend time with us?
How do you reconnect with old friends?

Define your mission to attract high value connections – 31:32
Why is it important to spend time figuring out one's mission and becoming mission-driven, and how do you figure out what your mission is?
How do you create a high value network so you never worry about being lonely, unemployed, or single?

Building relationships is key to success in many areas, including the workplace, and cannot be replaced by hard work alone. And despite external factors such as nepotism and favoritism playing a role in success, building social capital in the form of value you can add to the relationships in your life is key. This episode offers strategies and frameworks for reconnecting with old relationships that have drifted away, including reaching out and inviting people into one's life. Find and connect with people who share similar goals and mindsets. Tune in to this episode for insights on building momentum in life through a high-value network and community.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Are you ready to take your career to the next level in 2023? Looking to grow your high-value social circle?

You are one relationship away from changing your entire life.

Listen: your social circle, professional network, and lack of confidence are thwarting your attempts at accelerating your career.

But there’s something you can do about it.

After coaching over 10,000 clients including military special operators and Fortune 500 executives we’ve learned a thing or two about what it actually takes to grow your network. In fact, over 90% of the amazing guests on this show are from referrals in our personal networks.

We’ve packaged our best insights inside a course called, Social Capital. And, as a thank you for being a podcast listener, we want to give you this training for FREE to start 2023.

To get your hands on this training and immediately start improving your relationships, go to theartofcharm.com/sc

Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!

Resources from this Episode

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Jonah Berger | The Art of Persuasion | AOC Podcast

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Communicate Powerfully Using These Magic Words w/ Jonah Berger Mar 20, 2023

The Art of Charm is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/charm today to get 10% off your first month.

In today’s episode, we cover magic words and the impact of language with Jonah Berger. Jonah is a Wharton School professor, an expert on natural language processing, influence, and consumer behavior, and is the internationally bestselling author of Magic Words, Contagious, Invisible Influence, and The Catalyst.

Questions are the key to connecting with the people around you, so what kinds of questions should you ask when getting to know someone, what questions should you avoid, and how can you word questions in a way to get people to do what you want them to do?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
Why are questions so powerful when talking to people?
What kind of question should you ask if you want other people to like you or perceive you better?
What should you say if someone asks you a question you don’t want to answer?

Questions that Push People Out and Pull People In – 14:53
What questions do we ask that put people on the defensive and how do we reword the same questions to get the answers we actually want?
What questions can you ask to turn strangers into friends?
How many questions can you ask before a conversation gets uncomfortable?

Identity and Agency Questions – 26:29
What questions can you ask to motivate people to take the action you want them to take?
How do many of us use self-talk the wrong way and how does it sabotage our goals and dreams?
What is hedging and how does hedging make us seem less confident?

When we use questions as tools, they become powerful. They can build bridges or break them; it's up to us to decide which kind of question we want to use. If you want other people to like you and view you better, the best type of question should be open-ended, positive and interesting. Avoid questions that put people on the defensive and instead choose phrases that invoke thought and curiosity. Asking questions to strangers is a great way to get them interested in knowing more about you and forming new relationships.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Are you ready to take your career to the next level in 2023? Looking to grow your high-value social circle?

You are one relationship away from changing your entire life.

Listen: your social circle, professional network, and lack of confidence are thwarting your attempts at accelerating your career.

But there’s something you can do about it.

After coaching over 10,000 clients including military special operators and Fortune 500 executives we’ve learned a thing or two about what it actually takes to grow your network. In fact, over 90% of the amazing guests on this show are from referrals in our personal networks.

We’ve packaged our best insights inside a course called, Social Capital. And, as a thank you for being a podcast listener, we want to give you this training for FREE to start 2023.

To get your hands on this training and immediately start improving your relationships, go to theartofcharm.com/sc

Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!

Resources from this Episode

Jonah Berger’s website

Magic Words: What to Say to Get Your Way by Jonah Berger

Jonah Berger | Invisible Influence | AOC Podcast

BetterHelp

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Anger, Compassion, and What It Means To Be Strong | TEDxOlympia

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Prevent Anger from Wrecking Your Relationships w/ Russell Kolts Mar 13, 2023

The Art of Charm is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/charm today to get 10% off your first month.

In today’s episode, we cover anger and compassion with Russell Kolts, PhD. Russell is Professor of Psychology at Eastern Washington University, an internationally recognized trainer in compassion-focused therapy (CFT), a TedX speaker, and the author of several books on compassion-focused therapy including CFT Made Simple: A Clinician's Guide to Practicing Compassion-Focused Therapy and Buddhist Psychology and Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy: A Clinician's Guide.

Many men struggle with anger, especially today because society condemns the emotion, so what does it mean to express anger in healthy ways vs unhealthy ways, what can you do to manage your anger effectively, and how can you use self-compassion to ensure your anger doesn’t destroy your relationships?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
What are the biggest misconceptions around compassion and why is compassion important to your ability to dominate life with finesse and courage?
Is it bad to use anger as fuel for action and growth?

How to Manage Anger – 12:40
What exercise can you implement today to make sure you don’t blow up at someone you care about the next time they make you angry?

The worst way to resolve conflict – 22:46
How do you handle conflict and arguments when your anger feels overwhelming?
How do you manage shame effectively?
Why is a problem solving approach problematic in relationship conflicts?

Tools for Building Self Compassion – 41:20
What 2 questions can you ask yourself to develop self compassion so you can be as patient and understanding with yourself as you are with the people you care about?

Self compassion doesn’t come naturally, especially for men, but it’s crucial for not allowing anger to control us. Also, it’s important to recognize the difference between using anger for positive things like motivation for taking action or problem solving versus letting anger consume us. It takes awareness, intention, and practice to be able to show the same compassion to yourself as you do the people you care about. When done effectively, showing compassion can transform any kind of hostile situation into something more meaningful, both in relationships you’re part of and in life in general.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Are you ready to take your career to the next level in 2023? Looking to grow your high-value social circle?

After coaching over 10,000 clients including military special operators and Fortune 500 executives we’ve learned a thing or two about what it actually takes to grow your network. In fact, over 90% of the amazing guests on this show are from referrals in our personal networks.

We’ve packaged our best insights inside a course called, Social Capital. And, as a thank you for being a podcast listener, we want to give you this training for FREE to start 2023.

To get your hands on this training and immediately start improving your relationships, go to theartofcharm.com/sc

Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!

Resources from this Episode

Russell Kolts on Twitter

CFT Made Simple: A Clinician's Guide to Practicing Compassion-Focused Therapy

Buddhist Psychology and Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy: A Clinician's Guide

BetterHelp

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Connor Beaton on Instagram

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Facing Your Darkness To Reach Your Full Potential w/ Connor Beaton Mar 06, 2023

In today’s episode, we cover self mastery with Connor Beaton. Connor is the founder of ManTalks, a TEDx speaker, runs a top ranked podcast called ManTalks, and is the author of Men's Work: A Practical Guide to Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, and Find Freedom.

We are facing a crisis of masculinity, so what can we learn from other cultures when it comes to helping and encouraging boys to become responsible and powerful men, why is it important for men to have strong friendships with other men, and what are modern men missing that lead them to fail in relationships?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
Why are initiation rituals important for men and what price is society paying for not having initiation rituals?
Why do men abuse power and what can we do to prepare our sons so they don’t abuse power when they become men?

Initiation Rituals – 10:56
Why do cultures across the planet use initiation rituals for young boys to enter into manhood?
How does your self-talk hold you back from being the person you want to be and how do you improve it?
Why is it important to have groups solely for men to be men and talk about men’s issues?

Men and Self Development – 26:14
What is the most important thing men should focus on to achieve and maintain their happiness and fulfillment in life?

The Secret to Non-Neediness in Relationships – 40:05
What are men lacking in their lives that lead them to be needy in romantic relationships, causing those relationships to fall apart?

Initiation rituals have been used throughout history to help transition young boys into manhood. These rites of passage can teach us many things, but the most salient theme that remains is the need for men to face failure and powerlessness so as to enter manhood with a strong sense of self and humility. With positive self-talk we can stop ourselves from believing any false disclosures we face and learn how to think positively and productively. It is also important that men find male-only spaces where they can be men and talk about their issues.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Are you ready to take your career to the next level in 2023? Looking to grow your high-value social circle?

You are one relationship away from changing your entire life.

Listen: your social circle, professional network, and lack of confidence are thwarting your attempts at accelerating your career.

But there’s something you can do about it.

We’ve packaged our best insights inside a course called, Social Capital. And, as a thank you for being a podcast listener, we want to give you this training for FREE to start 2023.

To get your hands on this training and immediately start improving your relationships, go to theartofcharm.com/sc

Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.

Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!

Resources from this Episode

Men's Work: A Practical Guide to Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, and Find Freedom by Connor Beaton

Connor Beaton’s website

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Colin and Garrett’s website

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4 Lessons You Can Take From Sales To Improve Your Relationships | Colin Coggins & Garrett Brown Feb 27, 2023

In today’s episode, we cover the unsold mindset with Colin Goggins and Garrett Brown. Colin and Garrett are sales leaders, teachers of the popular USC course Sales Mindset for Entrepreneurs, co-founders of Agency18, keynote speakers and guest lecturers, and the authors of The Unsold Mindset: Redefining What It Means to Sell.

Sales can be brutal if you don’t have the right mindset, so what makes the best salespeople so great, what is the one quality you should express in every interaction with a potential customer, and how do you build resilience to push through all the rejection?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
What makes for a great salesperson and why don’t the best salespeople consider themselves to be salespeople?

Transformational vs Transactional Sales – 22:10
What is the difference between transformational and transactional sales and which one do customers prefer?
Why is it a strength to be intentionally ignorant when meeting/speaking with customers?
What is the most important quality you can express when interacting with a potential customer?

Rejection and Resiliency – 34:18
What can you do to build resilience in sales so you don’t get hung up on rejection?
What is the difference between toxic positivity and pathological optimism and why is one off putting while the other is necessary to accomplish great things?

Goal Setting – 56:32
How should you view and set goals so they help you rather than hinder you?
How do you find a meaningful purpose in your work when you feel your work is meaningless?

Salespeople are great connectors, and success in sales not only takes hard work but also the right mindset. Building resilience is key to sustaining energy in sales, so techniques like positive self-talk are incredibly important. By setting achievable goals and adopting motivation techniques like vision boards, you’ll be able to tackle any challenges that arise in the workplace. Attitude is everything when it comes to finding purpose and passion in your work; no matter how mundane it may seem, every task can bring joy and meaning if you choose to make it worthwhile.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Are you ready to take your career to the next level in 2023? Looking to grow your high-value social circle?

You are one relationship away from changing your entire life.

We’ve packaged our best insights inside a course called, Social Capital. And, as a thank you for being a podcast listener, we want to give you this training for FREE to start 2023.

To get your hands on this training and immediately start improving your relationships, go to theartofcharm.com/sc

Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.

Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!

Resources from this Episode

The Unsold Mindset: Redefining What It Means to Sell by Colin Coggins, Garrett Brown

Colin and Garrett on Twitter

Colin and Garrett on Instagram

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Simple Art Of Subtracting To Get More Fulfillment Out Of Life | Leidy Klotz Feb 20, 2023

In today’s episode, we cover the science of subtraction with Leidy Klotz. Leidy studies the science of design, his research has appeared in both Nature and Science, and his book, Subtract: The Untapped Science of Less, was ranked as one of the most influential titles in the fields of design and behavioral science.

As humans, we gravitate toward acquiring things and activities to add value to our lives, but many times we can add value to our lives by removing things from it—why is our biology working against us, how can you determine what to subtract from your life, and how do you get your family, friends, and coworkers on board?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
How can you make your life more fulfilling by removing things from your life?
Why does our biology prime us to add things to our life even if those things don’t enrich our lives?

Reduce Distractions to Increase Fulfillment – 16:28
What questions can you ask to determine what you should remove from your life to improve your life?

What pushes you to add unnecessary things to your life – 31:53
What are the forces around you that are always nudging you to add things to your life that end up unnecessarily complicating your life?

Getting people on board with the concept of subtraction – 44:40
What can you say to people to convince them that removing things from their lives will improve their lives?

Many of us go through life without taking the time to analyze what brings value to our lives and what doesn’t. Our biology drives us to seek out things that we think will make us happy but often those things don’t actually bring long-term fulfillment. Consider evaluating what you have in your life and see if there are any areas where you could declutter your life for more contentment, or to free up time to focus on the things that do bring value to your life. When was the last time you took inventory of your life and considered ways you could simplify?

A Word From Our Sponsors

Are you ready to take your career to the next level in 2023? Looking to grow your high-value social circle?

You are one relationship away from changing your entire life.

Listen: your social circle, professional network, and lack of confidence are thwarting your attempts at accelerating your career.

But there’s something you can do about it.

We’ve packaged our best insights inside a course called, Social Capital. And, as a thank you for being a podcast listener, we want to give you this training for FREE to start 2023.

To get your hands on this training and immediately start improving your relationships, go to theartofcharm.com/sc

Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.

Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!

Additional Sponsors:

Babbel - https://www.babbel.com/charm

Hello Fresh - https://hellofresh.com/charm65

Athletic Greens - https://athleticgreens.com/charm

NextEvo - https://nextevo.com/charm

Resources from this Episode

Leidy Klotz’s website

Subtract: The Untapped Science of Less by Leidy Klotz

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

The Fun Habit: How the Pursuit of Joy and Wonder Can Change Your Life

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The Science of Fun and 3 Ways to Add More to Your Life | Mike Rucker Feb 13, 2023

In today’s episode, we cover fun with Mike Rucker. Mike is an organizational psychologist, behavioral scientist, recovering entrepreneur, and the author of The Fun Habit: How the Pursuit of Joy and Wonder Can Change Your Life.

The pursuit of pleasure has been beaten into us as an unhealthy one by many thought leaders throughout history, but what role do fun and leisure play in increasing our productivity, how can you leverage pleasure to make daily work more enjoyable, and what can you do to create more space in your day for pleasurable activities if you find yourself burning out on work?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
How does focusing on happiness lead to rumination and depression?

Hedonic Flexibility Principle – 16:02
What role do fun and leisure play in maximizing productivity and life satisfaction?
How important is it to take a sabbatical periodically to recharge and regain a healthy focus on life and work?

Activity Bundling – 34:03
What can you do to add fun and pleasure to your daily activities to make them more enjoyable and thus encourage you to do them better?

Creating Options for Fun in Your Life – 43:28
What little decisions can you make everyday to make your life more fulfilling?
What simple framework can you use to create space in your life to integrate more fun activities and decrease the number of soul-sucking activities?

It is evident that happiness does not necessarily lie in big accomplishments or major life changes, but rather in the small choices we make each day. When we focus on making those choices fun and enjoyable, we are more likely to stick with them and see lasting results. What are some small decisions you can make today to add a little bit of fun and pleasure to your daily routine?

A Word From Our Sponsors

Are you ready to take your career to the next level in 2023? Looking to grow your high-value social circle?

You are one relationship away from changing your entire life.

Listen: your social circle, professional network, and lack of confidence are thwarting your attempts at accelerating your career.

But there’s something you can do about it.

After coaching over 10,000 clients including military special operators and Fortune 500 executives we’ve learned a thing or two about what it actually takes to grow your network. In fact, over 90% of the amazing guests on this show are from referrals in our personal networks.

We’ve packaged our best insights inside a course called, Social Capital. And, as a thank you for being a podcast listener, we want to give you this training for FREE to start 2023.

To get your hands on this training and immediately start improving your relationships, go to theartofcharm.com/sc

Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.

Additional Sponsors:

Babbel - https://www.babbel.com/charm

Hello Fresh - https://hellofresh.com/charm65

Athletic Greens - https://athleticgreens.com/charm

NextEvo - https://nextevo.com/charm

Resources from this Episode

Mike Rucker’s website

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

The Four Horsemen: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

3 Key Steps to Unlock Social Flow and Build Deeper Relationships | Steven Kotler Feb 06, 2023

In today’s episode, we cover peak performance aging with Steven Kotler. Steven is one of the world’s leading experts on human performance, an award-winning journalist, and is a New York Times bestselling author of 11 bestsellers including The Art of Impossible, The Future is Faster Than You Think, Stealing Fire, The Rise of Superman, and Bold and Abundance, and his newest book, Gnar Country: Growing Old, Staying Rad.

Aging gets a bad rep because many people don’t age gracefully, but you don’t have to be one of those many—so what is it about aging that makes us feel old, what is the key to maintaining your youth into old age, and what is the secret to excelling at new skills no matter how old you are?

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4 Relationship Killers and How to Beat Them | Toolbox Jan 30, 2023

In today’s episode, we cover the four horsemen of relationship dynamics with AJ, Johnny, and Coach Michael.

We all encounter four dynamics in our personal and professional relationships, so what are they, what is the best way to approach each one to minimize conflict, and in the case of conflict, what makes for the best and worst apologies?

What to Listen For

The Four Horsemen of Relationship Dynamics: Criticism – 0:00
What are the four primary relationship dynamics?
What’s the best way to handle criticism in a relationship?
How do you effectively give criticism in a relationship without angering or upsetting your partner?

Defensiveness – 15:35
What are the 3 ways defensiveness shows up in relationships and how should you approach each one?
What is the worst kind of apology?
What makes a good apology?

Stonewalling – 27:42
What is stonewalling and why does it do so much damage to relationships?
What is the best way to handle a friend or partner who stonewalls in response to potential arguments?

The Final Straw: Contempt – 44:14
What is the best predictor of divorce?
Why do you start feeling contempt for your partner?
What strategies can you use to break the cycle of feeling contempt for someone?

Nobody likes feeling criticized, but it’s an unavoidable part of every relationship and we have to know how to give and receive criticism effectively in order to grow. The key is to learn how to give criticism in a way that doesn’t damage your relationship or make your partner feel defensive. If you can learn how to recognize and manage stonewalling, defensiveness, and contempt, you’ll be on the right track to maintaining a happy and healthy relationship with your partner, friends, family, and coworkers.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Are you ready to take your career to the next level in 2023? Looking to grow your high-value social circle?

You are one relationship away from changing your entire life.

Listen: your social circle, professional network, and lack of confidence are thwarting your attempts at accelerating your career.

But there’s something you can do about it.

After coaching over 10,000 clients including military special operators and Fortune 500 executives we’ve learned a thing or two about what it actually takes to grow your network. In fact, over 90% of the amazing guests on this show are from referrals in our personal networks.

We’ve packaged our best insights inside a course called, Social Capital. And, as a thank you for being a podcast listener, we want to give you this training for FREE to start 2023.

To get your hands on this training and immediately start improving your relationships, go to theartofcharm.com/sc

Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.

Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!

Additional Sponsors:

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Resources from this Episode

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

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Accomplish Your Dreams With This Proven Bucket List Formula | Ben Nemtin Jan 23, 2023

In today’s episode, we cover chasing your dreams with Ben Nemtin. Ben is a #1 New York Times bestselling author, co-founder of The Buried Life movement, and inspirational keynote speaker who has delivered over 500 keynotes to brands and Fortune 500 companies.

Introduction

It’s easy to get caught up in the daily grind and forget about all the things we want to accomplish in life, so what can you do to create a bucket list that excites you, surround yourself with people who encourage you to chase your dreams, and share the bucket list in such a way that fires you up and motivates you?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
How did The Buried Life tv show get started?

Discomfort Means Growth – 13:36
What are the 3 kinds of people around you who will encourage or discourage you from chasing your dreams?
How do you find people who will support you in accomplishing your goals and dreams?

Creating the Best Bucket List – 25:46
What’s the best way to create a bucket list to accomplish all the things you want to in life?
What should you avoid when planning your bucket list to make sure you actually get your bucket list done?

The Power of Sharing Your Bucket List – 40:14
Why does sharing your bucket list and talking about what’s on your bucket list make it easier for you tackle it?

A Word From Our Sponsors

Are you ready to take your career to the next level in 2023? Looking to grow your high-value social circle?

You are one relationship away from changing your entire life.

Listen: your social circle, professional network, and lack of confidence are thwarting your attempts at accelerating your career.

But there’s something you can do about it.

After coaching over 10,000 clients including military special operators and Fortune 500 executives we’ve learned a thing or two about what it actually takes to grow your network. In fact, over 90% of the amazing guests on this show are from referrals in our personal networks.

We’ve packaged our best insights inside a course called, Social Capital. And, as a thank you for being a podcast listener, we want to give you this training for FREE to start 2023.

To get your hands on this training and immediately start improving your relationships, go to theartofcharm.com/sc

Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.

Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!

Resources from this Episode

The Bucket List Journal

Ben Nemtin’s website

Ben Nemtin on Instagram

The Buried Life

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Avoid These 3 Low Value Behaviors (Toolbox)

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How to Get Good at Quitting and Achieve Greater Success | Annie Duke Jan 17, 2023

In today’s episode, we cover quitting with Annie Duke. Annie is a national best-selling author, former professional poker player, corporate speaker, and consultant in the decision-making space, as well as Special Partner focused on Decision Science at First Round Capital Partners, a seed stage venture fund. Annie’s latest book is Quit: The Power of Knowing When to Walk Away.

Quitting has acquired a bad reputation in a culture of grit and hustle, but even the most successful people quit things they’re working on frequently, so what is stopping you from quitting a failing project or relationship, and what questions can you ask yourself and others to determine when the right time to quit is?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
Why is knowing to quit just as important as grit and determination?
How do you know when to quit? – 14:58
Why do many of us quit things too late and waste valuable time that we could be spending on the next success?
What are some great examples of people making the right decision to quit?
Opportunity Cost Neglect – 33:26
What is the blindspot that keeps us from quitting at the right time?
What happened to the game Glitch before Slack was created?
How do you break the Sunk Cost Neglect cycle so you stop wasting your time?
Other Biases and Blindspots – 44:30
What is Escalation of Commitment?
What is the Status Quo Bias?
What is the Omission Comission Bias?
The Questions to Determine When You Need to Quit – 1:01:20

After coaching over 10,000 clients including military special operators and Fortune 500 executives we’ve learned a thing or two about what it actually takes to grow your network. In fact, over 90% of the amazing guests on this show are from referrals in our personal networks.

We’ve packaged our best insights inside a course called, Social Capital. And, as a thank you for being a podcast listener, we want to give you this training for FREE to start 2023.

To get your hands on this training and immediately start improving your relationships, go to theartofcharm.com/sc

Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.

Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!

A Word From Our Sponsors:

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Resources from this Episode

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Harvard Happiness Study & What it Takes to Be Socially Fit | Dr. Robert Waldinger Jan 09, 2023

In today’s episode, we cover happiness with Dr. Robert Waldinger. Bob is the director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development, a 75-year-long Harvard study of adult life, and the co-author of The Good Life: Lessons from the World's Longest Scientific Study of Happiness.

Our social fitness was shaken over the last few years thanks to the lockdown, so what can we use from the longest study on happiness to improve our social fitness and rebuild lost relationships?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
How did the “Harvard Happiness Study” come about?
What is the Harvard Study of Adult Development and how did it start?
Social Fitness – 13:01
What is social fitness and how did the pandemic affect your social fitness?
The Biggest Motivation for Self Development – 24:18
What gives you the greatest motivation to improve your life?
What is the secret to happiness and how do you implement it at any age?
How do you make new friends? – 37:11
What should you say when you want to reconnect with someone?
How to stop feeling lonely?
How do you start a conversation with a coworker?
What are unhappy marriages missing? – 46:00
How do happy couples stay happy forever and how can you implement in your relationship?

The Harvard Study of Adult Development turned out to be the longest running study about what makes people happy. Considering the increase in mental health issues and loneliness that we experienced over the last few years, the wisdom learned from the study has the potential to help us recover our pre-pandemic social fitness and get back enjoying life again.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Are you ready to take your career to the next level in 2023? Looking to grow your high-value social circle?

You are one relationship away from changing your entire life.

Listen: your social circle, professional network, and lack of confidence are thwarting your attempts at accelerating your career.

But there’s something you can do about it.

After coaching over 10,000 clients including military special operators and Fortune 500 executives we’ve learned a thing or two about what it actually takes to grow your network. In fact, over 90% of the amazing guests on this show are from referrals in our personal networks.

We’ve packaged our best insights inside a course called, Social Capital. And, as a thank you for being a podcast listener, we want to give you this training for FREE to start 2023.

To get your hands on this training and immediately start improving your relationships, go to theartofcharm.com/sc

Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.

Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!

Additional Sponsors:

Babbel - https://www.babbel.com/charm

Hello Fresh - https://hellofresh.com/charm65

Athletic Greens - https://athleticgreens.com/charm

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Resources from this Episode

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

An Intelligent Roadmap for Life's Biggest Decisions | Abby Davisson Jan 03, 2023

In today’s episode, we cover money and love with Abby Davisson. Abby is a social innovation leader and career development expert, was the president of the Gap Foundation at Gap Inc and a senior leader on the Environmental, Social & Governance team, and is the co-author of Money and Love: An Intelligent Roadmap for Life's Biggest Decisions.

Making big decisions in relationships can be intimidating, so what frameworks and strategies can you use to simplify the decision making process and how should you handle conversations around money and having kids with your partner?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
What proven framework should you use to approach major decisions about money and love in relationships?
Thinking about Consequences of Making Big Decisions – 19:06
How should you think about the consequences of decision making?
How do you know if you want to spend the rest of your life with someone?
Relationship Compatibility – 29:26
How can you find out if you are compatible with your partner in the long term?
How do you approach the conversation of having kids with someone you just married?
Divorce and Money – 48:30
How should you approach the conversation around money when you’re thinking about getting married?

Making major decisions about relationships can be daunting, but if you break it down with a framework and consider all of the potential consequences with regular communication, it becomes much easier. Money is a major factor to consider when getting married because it can cause a lot of arguments and stress in a relationship, to the point that it is one of the most common reasons people state when getting divorced. If you approach these conversations openly and honestly with your partner, you will be able to make the best decision for both of you.

Are you ready to take your career to the next level in 2023? Looking to grow your high-value social circle?

You are one relationship away from changing your entire life.

Listen: your social circle, professional network, and lack of confidence are thwarting your attempts at accelerating your career.

But there’s something you can do about it.

After coaching over 10,000 clients including military special operators and Fortune 500 executives we’ve learned a thing or two about what it actually takes to grow your network. In fact, over 90% of the amazing guests on this show are referrals in our personal networks.

We’ve packaged our best insights inside a course called, Social Capital. And, as a thank you for being a podcast listener, we want to give you this training for FREE to start 2023.

To get your hands on this training and immediately start improving your relationships, go to theartofcharm.com/sc

Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.

Additional Sponsors:

Babbel - https://www.babbel.com/charm

Hello Fresh - https://hellofresh.com/charm65

Athletic Greens - https://athleticgreens.com/charm

NextEvo - https://nextevo.com/charm

Resources from this Episode

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Best of 2022: 6 Tips for Success in the New Year Dec 26, 2022

In today’s episode, we cover the Art of Charm’s best episodes from 2022 with AJ and Johnny.

Turbocharge your social skills going into 2023 with highlights from the best of the Art of Charm podcast in 2022!

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
Avoid these Low Value Behaviors – 2:41
What 3 behaviors do you need to avoid if you want to attract high value friendships and relationships?
Eye Contact for Different Situations – 16:34
How do you decide what kind of eye contact you should give in personal, professional, and romantic situations?
Overcome Perfectionism – 19:22
What steps can you take to overcome perfectionism?
What are the warning signs that perfectionism is controlling your life?
Setting and Enforcing Boundaries – 28:22
How do you enforce boundaries you set with other people who keep violating your boundaries?
Overcome Nice Guy Syndrome – 38:02
What are covert contracts and why do “nice guys” make them with people they meet?
What is the biggest flaw of nice guys and how do you stop being a “nice guy” if you are one?
The Infamous Awkward Pause – 45:17
How do you make awkward pauses into powerful pauses that command attention?
What mistakes do most people make that kill their charisma?

2022 was a great year here at the Art of Charm. We hope you had a great year as well and wish you nothing but the best in 2023! See you next year!

A Word From Our Sponsors

Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.

Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!

Resources from this Episode

How To Read Body Language | Abbie Maroño

Perfectionism: The Enemy Of Progress | Jennifer Kemp

Build and Maintain Boundaries | Nedra Tawwab

Overcoming Nice Guy Syndrome | Dr. Robert Glover

How to Influence and Persuade People | Zoe Chance

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How to Effectively Break Your Social Media Addiction | Dr. Nicholas Kardaras Dec 19, 2022

In today’s episode, we cover social media with Dr. Nicholas Kardaras. Dr. Kardaras is an Ivy League educated psychologist, best-selling author, internationally renowned speaker and an expert on mental health, addiction, and the impacts of our digital age.

Social media has gripped us by the neck with socially inept nerds calling the shots, so what exactly is going on, how is social media amplifying mental health issues, and what steps can we take to break social media addiction?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
What is a social media algorithm and why can they be dangerous to society?
What is the Online Safety Act and how does it serve to protect us from algorithms on social media?
The social world is engineered by the socially inept – 16:42
Why is there so much friction between what is going on in the real world and the virtual world?
How does social media amplify mental health issues and pressure young people to imitate the mentally unwell?
Who should we trust – 28:46
How do we know who to trust online and why is it risky to allow anyone to determine what is true and false?
Are younger generations more fragile than older generations?
Social media and depression – 41:46
How does social media use lead to depression?
Does an easier or harder life lead to a more fulfilling and happy life?
What practical steps can you take to deal with social media addiction?

Social media algorithms are created with the intention of getting users to spend more time on a platform, but they can have harmful consequences. By curating content and limiting the exposure to certain views, social media platforms can create an echo chamber that amplifies mental health issues and leads young people to believe that imitating the mentally unwell is normal behavior. Social media use can lead to depression, anxiety, and other mental health problems.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.

Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!

Resources from this Episode

Dr. Nicholas Kardaras’s website
Digital Madness: How Social Media Is Driving Our Mental Health Crisis--and How to Restore Our Sanity by Dr. Nicholas Kardaras

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

3 CIA-Proven Strategies to Raise Resourceful Self-Sufficient Kids | Christina Hillsberg Dec 12, 2022

In today’s episode, we cover parenting and the CIA with Christina Hillsberg. Christina is a former CIA intelligence officer, writer, and recognized expert on women in espionage, intelligence tradecraft, and parenting, and the author of License to Parent:

Being a parent is hard enough already and now we have so much technology to worry about, so how do you teach your kids to build trust and to know who to trust, how do you properly regulate their access to video games and the internet, and how do you teach kids to recognize and avoid danger?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
What should you study or work toward if you want to eventually work for the CIA or other intelligence agencies?
Teach kids to build relationships – 14:22
How do you teach your kids to deal with bullies in school?
How do you build trust with your kids or stepkids?
Dealing with kids and videogames – 30:30
How do you regulate the access to video games and the internet that your kids have to keep them safe?
How do you teach your kids what information to trust online as well as who to trust online?
Avoiding danger – 42:50
How do you teach your kids to avoid danger?
What can you do to alleviate the worry and anxiety you feel as a parent?

Raising kids in the digital age is a daunting task. It seems like every day we are faced with new challenges and questions about how to keep our children safe and help them grow into well-adjusted adults. But it’s important to remember that we aren’t alone in this struggle. There are plenty of resources available to us, both offline and online, and it’s important to make use of them all.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.

Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!

Resources from this Episode

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

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How to Take Your Team From Last to First in 3 Easy Steps | John Bacon Dec 05, 2022

In today’s episode, we cover leadership with John Bacon. John is an American journalist, a sports commentator on TV and radio, and author of books on sports and business including his latest best seller Let Them Lead: Unexpected Lessons in Leadership from America's Worst High School Hockey Team.

Coaching a poor performing team to victory is no easy task, so what can you learn from a high school hockey coach who did just that, how high should you set expectations, and what can you do to set them up to lead themselves to success?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
Why did John Bacon decide to coach the worst high school hockey team in America and how did he take them from losers to champions?
The Value of High Expectations – 15:15
Why is it important to set high expectations for your team?
What does it mean to separate the behavior from the results and why is it important for you to understand if you want to be a great leader?
Rules and Leadership – 30:18
What is the best approach to set rules and regulations as a leader and how can rules hurt your team’s performance?
What’s the best way to deal with parents as a high school athletics coach?
Questions, Questions, Questions – 42:10
How should you handle questions and concerns from your team to get the best out of them?
How to allow your team to lead themselves to achieve their goals?

Leaders should set high expectations for their team and give them the freedom to lead themselves. When team members know what is expected of them, they will be able to work more productively towards common goals. Giving your team the ability to find their own solutions and make decisions will help foster a sense of ownership and responsibility. This in turn can motivate team members to go above and beyond what is expected of them.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.

Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!

Resources from this Episode

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Self-Esteem is BS Instead Focus On This | Dr. Steven Hayes Nov 28, 2022

In today’s episode, we cover self-esteem with Dr. Steven Hayes. Steven Hayes is an American clinical psychologist and Nevada Foundation Professor at the University of Nevada, Reno Department of Psychology, where he is a faculty member in their Ph.D. program in behavior analysis, and the author nearly 670 scientific articles and 47 books including the best selling Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life.

The last couple of generations grew up in a world that focused on high self-esteem, but what exactly is self-esteem, why was it catastrophically wrong to focus on it, and what should you strive for when raising kids?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
What is self-esteem?
Why is it dangerous to artificially inflate self-esteem?
What is that critical voice you hear and how does it affect your self-esteem?
What is confidence – 18:30
Why are many people who appear confident not?
How does social media make it difficult for you to be self compassionate and stay true to yourself?
Stop focusing on self-esteem – 30:20
Why is it catastrophic to focus on teaching kids to have a high self esteem?
What can you do to develop your self-compassion to boost your confidence?
Friends, values, and life fulfillment – 49:42
Why are values important and how do your friends influence your values for better or worse?
Is too much self-compassion a bad thing?

We’ve seen that it can be dangerous to artificially inflate self-esteem and that it is much more important to focus on teaching kids how to have a healthy self-compassion. When we develop our self-compassion, we become better equipped to stay true to ourselves, even when faced with difficult situations or negative feedback from others. With values clarification and by choosing friends who share our positive values, we can work together to encourage each other in living out our best selves.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.

Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!

Resources from this Episode

Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life by Steven Hayes, Ph. D.
Is Self Compassion More Important Than Self Esteem by Steven Hayes, Ph. D.
Alex Banayan Episode
Self-compassion protects against the negative effects of low self-esteem: A longitudinal study in a large adolescent sample by Sarah Marshall
Steven Hayes TED Talk

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

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3 Skills to Become Unstoppable Nov 21, 2022

In today’s episode, we cover becoming unstoppable with Michael Herold.

We all have the potential to achieve unstoppable confidence, but what are the 3 obstacles that stand in your way, what can you do to overcome them, and how do you identify your core values so you can find every day fulfilling?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
What are the 3 obstacles you need to overcome to have unlimited confidence?
What can you do to separate yourself from your thoughts so they don’t get in the way of achieving your goals and dreams?
What question can you ask yourself to instantly quiet your thoughts?
Overcome negative emotions to achieve unstoppable confidence – 18:27
How do you overcome discomfort so you can get the most out of life?
Why do we need to redefine happiness and what should the new definition be so we can pursue a more fulfilling existence?
Find your core values –29:00
What are core values and why are they important for you to find for yourself if you want to live a rich and meaningful life?
Why are goals overrated compared to living a life inline with your core values?
What four ways can you use to identify your core values?

There is a lot you can do to separate yourself from your thoughts and achieve your goals. You need to find what works for you, but some helpful tips are: be mindful of your thoughts, practice meditation or mindfulness, and write out your thoughts and goals regularly. Discomfort is a part of life, but it doesn’t have to stop you from achieving great things. In fact, it’s often through discomfort that we learn and grow the most. Core values are important because they provide a guide for how you want to live your life. They help us make decisions when we’re faced with difficult choices and help us stay on track when things get tough. Identifying your core values is an important step in finding meaning in life.

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Resources from this Episode

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3 Habits to Help You Beat Overwhelm and Thrive at Work and Home | Yael Schonbrun Nov 14, 2022

In today’s episode, we cover the pursuit meaning and fulfillment with Yael Schonbrun. Yael is a clinical psychologist, assistant professor at Brown University, co-host of Psychologists Off the Clock, and the author of Work, Parent, Thrive: 12 Science-Backed Strategies to Ditch Guilt, Manage Overwhelm, and Grow Connection (When Everything Feels Like Too Much).

The pursuit of meaning has taken a back seat in the last few decades and we’re paying the price, so what can you do to introduce more meaning into your life, how should you balance meaningful and pleasurable pursuits, and how can you you strengthen the relationships that already give you meaning?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
Is it more fulfilling to be great at one role in life or divide your time between multiple roles?
How should you balance the pursuits of meaning, pleasure, and purpose?
Prioritizing the different roles in your life – 16:16
How do you determine which roles you should prioritize in your life when you have to take other people in your life into consideration?
What should you do to preface regular one-on-one check-in conversations with your significant other and kids to strengthen the important relationships in your life?
Strategies to Create Space for Strengthening Relationships – 29:40
What strategies can you implement on a weekly basis to make sure the relationships you care about don’t fall apart?
Adding for improvement vs subtraction for simplicity – 46:54
Should we prioritize adding things to our lives or subtracting things from our lives if we want to be happier and more fulfilled?

It can be difficult to determine how to balance the different pursuits of meaning, pleasure, and purpose in our lives. We often have a lot of competing demands on our time and energy. But if we want to live happier and more fulfilling lives, it’s important that we take the time to figure out what’s most important to us and then put in the effort to make sure those things stay a priority. There is no one perfect answer for everyone – each individual will need to find what works best for them.

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Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!

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The Art of Engaging Small Talk Toolbox Nov 07, 2022

In today’s episode, we cover talking to strangers with AJ and Johnny.

You never know what friend, business partner, or love interest you’ll meet by striking up a conversation with strangers in your daily life, but how do you create engaging conversations with anyone, what two things do you need for great conversations, and how do you make an unforgettable first impression?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
How is technology harming our ability to hold conversations and how do we overcome it?
Why is it important to your health and social life to make small talk with strangers?
Simple Techniques for Talking to Strangers – 23:16
What tips can you use to have fun conversations with strangers?
How do you know what to talk about with strangers?
How do you give a compliment to a stranger?
The Art of Charm Conversation Formula – 37:05
What is the formula for great conversations?
How do you have a good conversation with anyone?
What are the two things you need to have great conversations?
Why is vulnerability important in conversations and how can you be vulnerable without being too vulnerable?

Small talk is important because it helps us to get to know other people, learn about new things, and build relationships. It can also help you feel more connected and socialize when you may be feeling lonely or isolated. To know what to talk about with strangers, think about the setting you’re in and try to find a common ground or interest that you share. The formula for great conversations is simple: ask open-ended questions, listen attentively, and then share something personal about yourself. Having a good conversation with anyone is all about being vulnerable and letting your guard down a little bit. Don’t be afraid to share some of your own experiences or feelings, as long as you do so in a way that isn’t overwhelming or off-putting.

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Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!

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Why Boys Are Falling Behind & Three Steps You Can Take to Propel Them to Success | Richard Reeves Oct 31, 2022

In today’s episode, we cover masculinity with Richard Reeves. Richard is a senior fellow at the Brookings Institution, where he directs the Future of the Middle Class Initiative and co-directs the Center on Children and Families, and is the author of several books including his latest, Of Boys and Men: Why the Modern Male Is Struggling, Why It Matters, and What to Do about It.

Western culture is experiencing a masculinity crisis, so what does mature masculinity look like in today’s society, what defines toxic masculinity vs mature masculinity, and how do we start instilling masculinity in our boys?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
What are the trends in education and how are they impacting the genders?
Why is there a lack of male teachers?
The Crisis of Fatherhood – 24:07
What role should fathers play moving forward?
What does mature masculinity look like in modern society and how do we instill it in our children?
Toxic Masculinity – 38:15
What is the difference between mature masculinity and toxic masculinity?
What role do rites of passage play in the transition from boyhood to manhood and what consequences do we face as a culture without them?
Where do we start if we want to revitalize the masculinity in our society?
The Gender Pay Gap is a Parenting Gap – 59:07
What is the reason for the gender pay gap?

Masculinity is not a dirty word. It’s time to reclaim it and redefine it for the modern world. We can start by teaching our children what mature masculinity looks like, modeling healthy behavior ourselves, and creating spaces where men can gather to discuss these issues. Together we can shift the paradigm of toxic masculinity and work towards a more inclusive society that celebrates all forms of masculinity.

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Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!

Resources from this Episode

Richard Reeves website
Of Boys and Men: Why the Modern Male Is Struggling, Why It Matters, and What to Do about It by Richard Reeves

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3 Secrets to Instantly Win Anyone Over from a Corporate Spy | Robert Kerbeck Oct 24, 2022

In today’s episode, we cover social engineering and corporate espionage with Robert Kerbeck. Robert is the founder of the Malibu Writers Circle, his essays and short stories have been featured in numerous magazines and literary journals, and his new memoir, RU$E: Lying the American Dream from Hollywood to Wall Street, is a thrilling look into his career as a secret corporate spy.

Espionage has been around for as long as people have kept secrets, but what do corporate spies do to get information from unsuspecting employees, what should you be on the lookout for to protect yourself and your company, and how do you become a corporate spy?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
How do you become a corporate spy?
How do corporate spies prepare for deceptive calls with competitors?
Corporate Espionage Tools of the Trade – 13:36
What is a false time constraint and how do scammers and spies use them to manipulate you?
How do scammers and corporate spies manipulate you to get whatever information they want?
How do corporate spies receive new assignments?
The different ways Corporate Espionage is used – 31:24
How do corporations use corporate spies to find new employees and executive leaders?
How do corporate spies leverage fear to get what they want out of you?

In order to protect yourself from becoming a victim of corporate espionage, it is important to be aware of the tools and tactics that scammers and spies use. By understanding how they operate, you can be better prepared to defend yourself against their attempts to manipulate you into giving away sensitive information. Remember, always be skeptical of unsolicited calls or emails and never give out personal information or passwords without verifying the caller’s identity first.

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Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!

Resources from this Episode

Robert Kerbeck’s website
RUSE: Lying the American Dream from Hollywood to Wall Street by Robert Kerbeck

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How to Become Successful Through Discomfort | Sterling Hawkins Oct 17, 2022

In today’s episode, we cover hunting discomfort with Sterling Hawkins. Sterling is the CEO and founder of the Sterling Hawkins Group, a research, training and development company focused on human and organizational growth, and is the author of Hunting Discomfort: How to Get Breakthrough Results in Life and Business No Matter What.

Discomfort is an inevitable aspect of getting anywhere in life, so what are the 5 kinds of discomfort we all face, what are the ways we all deal with discomfort that make it worse, and how can you leverage discomfort to turn your dreams into a reality?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
Why do you risk everything you’ve worked for when you avoid discomfort?
What are the 3 default ways we try to deal with discomfort that only make the discomfort worse?
How to Evolve through Discomfort – 11:20
What can you do to adopt a mindset that embraces discomfort and leverages discomfort to evolve as a person?
What are the 3 kinds of beliefs and how do they drive everything you do?
Hunting Discomfort vs Danger – 20:11
What is the difference between seeking out discomfort and doing dangerous things because they’re dangerous?
What are the 5 types of discomforts we all face?
The Necessity of Discomfort – 40:50
What can you commit to in order to force yourself to get comfortable with discomfort?

Discomfort is a part of life. It’s what we do with discomfort that determines whether or not it will have a negative impact on our lives. When we avoid discomfort, we risk everything we’ve worked for. But when we embrace discomfort, we can grow as individuals and achieve things we never thought possible. So how do you start embracing discomfort? You can start by making a commitment to yourself get comfortable with discomfort. And then you can begin to experiment with different ways of introducing discomfort into your everyday life so that it becomes a regular part of your existence. Are you ready to take the challenge?

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Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!

Resources from this Episode

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6 Working Styles Every Team Needs to Succeed | Patrick Lencioni Oct 10, 2022

In today’s episode, we cover the different work genius skills with Patrick Lencioni. Patrick is founder and president of The Table Group, a firm dedicated to helping leaders improve their organizations’ health and the author of ten business books including his most recent work, The 6 Types of Working Genius: A Better Way to Understand Your Gifts, Your Frustrations, and Your Team.

Knowing what kind of work your personality is inclined toward can make the difference between loving your work and hating it, having an innovative team and a failing team, so what are the different types of work and how can you leverage them to achieve incredible success?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
Why do we get frustrated at work and what is triggering this?
What are the skills necessary to fully function in any work environment?
Different Kinds of Working Genius – 5:32
What are the different types of working skills we already have and the skills we still need to develop?
What are the benefits of learning and knowing how these skills can change our work environment?
What Type of Worker Are You? – 18:28
How do you behave within the team and how do you react to different situations?
Are you tenacious, love to push things forward, and make sure they get done?
Interpreting the Assessment Results – 32:54
What can you do when you think your co-workers are outsmarting and outperforming you?
What is the concept of quiet-quitting and why is it causing companies to lose their genius talents?

A Word From Our Sponsors

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Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!

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5 Simple Steps To Build A High Value Social Circle & Avoid Value Vampires | Toolbox Oct 03, 2022

In today’s episode, we cover the science behind the hidden power of relationships with AJ and Johnny.

The people in your life can you lead you to success or failure, joy or frustration—so how do you know what influence people and their friends are having on your life, how can you be a high value person to attract high value friendships and relationships, and what steps can you take to upgrade your social circle?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
What influence do the people around you have on your happiness and ability to achieve your goals?
How do you handle relationships that have a negative influence on your life?
High Value vs Low Value Behavior – 10:55
What does it mean to be high value and why should you avoid low value behaviors if you don’t want to lose great friendships and relationships?
What are the benefits of being high value as much as possible?
Inescapable Influence of Friends and Family – 23:01
How can your life be influenced by the friends of friends you don’t even know and what can you do to mitigate the harm they cause?
Can you filter out the negative influences of certain friends so you can keep them around for the positive influences?
Curate Your Social Circle – 47:30
What steps can you take to upgrade your existing social circle so your friends, family members, and coworkers support you rather than bring you down?
What is the difference between venting and gossiping and how should you respond to each one?

Other people are capable of having a significant impact on your life. If you let them, the right ones can set up conditions for success while leaving behind only pleasant memories and happy moments in their wake - but how do we determine which individuals will provide us with these opportunities? And more importantly: what can we do when our friends begin steering clear-cut paths towards failure or discontentment instead by trying to guide themselves into successful futures through less than honest means such as cheating at sports games etc.

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Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.

Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!

Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!

Resources from this Episode

What Are Social Skills? A Value Vampire Has No Clue

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Learn 4 Powerful Conversations That Connect Us All | Chuck Wisner Sep 26, 2022

In today’s episode, we cover conscious conversations with Chuck Wisner. Chuck is a business and personal consultant and an advisor to leaders in high-profile companies in several industries such as Google, Rivian, Apple, and Tesla, and is the author of The Art of Conscious Conversations: Transforming How We Talk, Listen, and Interact.

Conversations are an important aspect of running a business with employees, so what conversations should you be having with your employees and what types of questions should you ask?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
How many different kinds of conversations are there and why do you need to know them all?
Advocacy vs Inquiry – 22:55
Why is it important to balance advocacy for yourself and inquiring about others?
The 4 Questions to Ask in Conversations – 34:16
What kinds of questions should you ask yourself when you’re talking to someone if you want to spark more engaging conversations?
Conversational Bypass – 48:30
Why is it important to touch on all four types of conversations in business and planning meetings in order to get the most out of your team?

The next time you’re in a meeting, think about how you can use all four conversation types to get your point across. When you advocate for yourself and inquire about others, it will create a more balanced and engaging discussion. Asking the right questions of yourself before talking to someone can help set the tone for a more productive exchange. Touching on all four conversation types is important in business because it allows for different perspectives to be explored and helps everyone feel heard.

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Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!

Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!

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6 Easy Steps To Working Hard and Avoiding Burnout | Brad Stulberg Sep 19, 2022

In today’s episode, we cover groundedness with Brad Stulberg. Brad coaches executives, entrepreneurs, physicians, and athletes on health, well-being, and sustainable excellence, and is the bestselling author of The Practice of Groundedness: A Transformative Path to Success that Feeds -- Not Crushes -- Your Soul.

Being present is harder than ever in a world with a million things fighting for our attention, so what can you do to stay grounded in a world of distractions, what mindset can you adopt to work hard without burning out, and build a community that keeps your carries your momentum forward?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
What is groundedness and what does it mean to practice groundedness?
The Principles of Groundedness – 10:22
What practice can you implement to accept where you are in the moment so you can make better decisions about where to go next?
What is the best thing you can do if you feel like you’re in a hole and time has slowed down to a crawl?
The Key to Feeling Good and Being Happy – 20:31
What piece of ancient wisdom is repeated throughout history when it comes to feeling good and being happy?
What can you do to limit the distractions in your life so you can start your day productively and with a clear mind?
Vulnerability and Confidence – 41:50
How can you leverage vulnerability to build more confidence?
What is deep community and how does it help you achieve groundedness?

When it comes to happiness, feeling good, and crushing life, there is one ancient wisdom that keeps popping up throughout history. That ancient wisdom is groundedness. Groundedness means living in the present moment, being connected to your body and your surroundings, and having a clear mind. It’s about being fully aware of what is happening around you and within you. Practicing groundedness can help you limit distractions so you can start your day productively, build more confidence by leveraging vulnerability, and feel happier and more content in life. What will you do today to start living more grounding?

A Word From Our Sponsors

Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.

Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!

Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!

Resources from this Episode

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5 Tips To Lead Like A Navy SEAL In Any Setting | Dan Luna Sep 12, 2022

In today’s episode, we cover leadership and motivation with Dan Luna. Dan formed 3LX Consulting in 2019 to empower leaders through coaching products that combine academics, consulting, and coaching, after a twenty-year career in the United States Navy SEAL Teams.

Leadership is a skill that requires conscious effort to develop, but how do we define leadership, what daily practices can you utilize to improve your leadership, and what can you do to lead and motivate your team to achieve their potential?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
What does leadership mean to a Navy SEAL?
Leadership Skill Transference – 10:42
How do you transfer your leadership skills from one area of your life to another?
What can you do to develop self-awareness so you know where you are lacking when it comes to leadership?
How to Start Journaling for Leadership Development – 30:51
What can you do start journaling from a leadership perspective to develop your leadership skills?
How do You Motivate Other Leaders – 43:10
How do we define motivation so we are better able to motivate other leaders and team members?
What areas can we highlight for team members to help them uncover the motivation to achieve their goals?
What can you do to give great feedback people will listen to?

Leaders are not born but they are made. You can become a better leader by taking the time to journal your thoughts and experiences from a leadership perspective. This will help you develop an understanding for what motivates you and how you can motivate others. When it comes to giving feedback, make sure that you take the time to understand the person’s perspective before offering any criticism. Feedback is most effective when it is specific, actionable, and positive.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.

Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!

Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!

Resources from this Episode

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3 Ingredients to Build Empathy and Foster Deep Relationships | Geoffrey Cohen Sep 05, 2022

In today’s episode, we cover the concept of belonging with Geoffrey Cohen. Cohen is the James G. March Professor of Organizational Studies in Education and Business, professor of psychology and, by courtesy, at the Graduate School of Business at Stanford University, and the author of Belonging: The Science of Creating Connection and Bridging Divides.

Humans are social creatures and our health is tied to our social bonds, so what happens when we lose the sense of belonging, what can you do to improve your ability to foster that connection with others, and how do you develop the empathy necessary to connect with people from all walks of life?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
What does it mean to belong and what happens to us when we don’t feel a sense of belonging?
Situation Crafting – 20:48
What is situation crafting and how can you leverage it to accomplish your goals?
What simple tricks can you use to accelerate your progress toward changing or improving your behavior?
Turning Knowledge into Action – 35:30
How do you take information you learn in one area and apply it to other areas of your life to save time and energy?
What are the three ingredients necessary to effect change on an individual level?
How to connect with people across different beliefs – 45:10
What obstacles get in the way of connecting with people who have different beliefs than your own?
How do you develop empathy for cultures or belief systems you have no experience with?

We all want to feel like we belong, that we are a part of something larger than ourselves. When we don’t have that sense of belonging, it can be damaging both mentally and emotionally. But what if there were ways to create a sense of belonging for yourself? What if you could use the power of situation crafting to your advantage? There are simple tricks you can use to get started on this journey and develop empathy for cultures or belief systems that are new to you. The bottom line is that developing a sense of belonging is crucial to our well-being as humans. With the right tools and information, you can find belonging in even the most difficult situations.

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Resources from this Episode

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How To Find Your Purpose With A Simple Mindset Shift | Belle Liang & Timothy Klein Aug 29, 2022

In today’s episode, we cover navigating college and your career with Belle Liang and Timothy Klein. Belle is a professor of Counseling Psychology and Principal Investigator in the Purpose Lab and Tim is an award-winning urban educator, clinical therapist and school counselor, and together they wrote How to Navigate Life: The New Science of Finding Your Way in School, Career, and Beyond.

Society places a ton of pressure on kids to follow a certain path through life, but does that path set them up for success or failure, what mindset should we be instilling in kids before they choose a college, and why is the pursuit of happiness leading them away from a fulfilling life?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
What mindset do we learn at an early age that sets us up for failure?
What is the career and college navigation crisis?
What’s wrong with how we perceive higher education – 12:20
What do we get wrong about guiding students into the higher education system and what should we do to set teens up for success after high school?
The Three Mindsets for Success – 18:50
What are the three mindsets you need to chart the correct path through higher education?
Why is it a bad idea to follow your passions?
Why is it important to balance passion with performance and purpose?
The Value of Being Purpose-Driven – 34:00
What does it mean to live with purpose and how do you figure out what your purpose is in college?

Committing to only pursuing your passion places an unnecessary focus on only doing things that make you feel good and avoiding discomfort and hard work. That is the same as living a life in strict pursuit of happiness. If we chase happiness as a goal in life there will always be a gap between where we are now and the happiness we desire. That leads to a constant state of never being happy enough, thus defeating the purpose of trying to lead a happy life.

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Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!

Resources from this Episode

How to Navigate Life: The New Science of Finding Your Way in School, Career, and Beyond by Belle Liang and Timothy Klein
How To Navigate Life website

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How To Quiet The Mind in 3 Easy Steps | Toolbox Aug 22, 2022

In today’s episode, we cover quieting your inner critic with AJ, Johnny, and Michael.

We all have an inner critic for a reason, so what is that reason, what is it doing to stop you from living your dream life, and what tools can you implement today to quiet your inner critic and start leading the life you deserve?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
Why do we have an inner critic and what purpose is it supposed to serve?
Quieting your inner critic – 24:30
What are the benefits of quieting your inner critic?
The tools to quiet your inner critic – 34:30
What can you do to quiet your inner critic?
How do you use self-compassion to make your inner critic into a supportive voice for growth and development?

Do you find yourself losing the battle with your inner critic? That inner critic is there to save us from danger from how much danger are you genuinely in on a daily basis? The first mistake many people make is treating their inner critic as if that voice knows what is best for them. Rather than taking your inner critic seriously, start by asking yourself, “The way my inner critic is speaking to me now, would I talk like to my best friend?”

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Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.

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Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!

Resources from this Episode

David Goggins & The Art of Mastering Your Mindset

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3 Ways to Effortlessly Push Through to Reach Your Goals | Steve Magness Aug 15, 2022

In today’s episode, we cover peak performance with Steve Magness. Steve was two seconds away from breaking the 4 minute mile, he is a world-renowned expert on performance, coauthor of Peak Performance, and the author of the new book Do Hard Things: Why We Get Resilience Wrong.

Performing at your best will attract countless opportunities in all areas of your life, but expectations and poor goal setting will hold you back, so what can you do to set the correct goals and expectations for yourself and how do you build the resilience necessary to achieve your potential?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
How do expectations alter the way we live our lives without us being consciously aware of it?
What does toughness mean today? – 19:36
What is the difference between safety and security and how has the confusion between the two led to weaker humans?
Transition from discomfort to action – 33:01
How do you take the discomfort you feel in a situation and convert it into meaningful action and goal setting?
Goal setting and training resilience – 40:07
Why do many of us set goals that lead us to fail and how can we set goals that pull us to success instead?
How do you train resilience?

Expectations play a huge role in our lives, and often we aren't even consciously aware of them. Our expectations can lead us to discomfort, but if we learn how to convert that discomfort into meaningful action and goal setting, we can achieve our potential. Setting goals is an important part of this process, but it's essential to be realistic about what we can achieve and not set ourselves up for failure. With the right mindset and some practice, we can all work towards building a more resilient self. What are you going to do today that will help you meet your long-term goals?

A Word From Our Sponsors

Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.

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Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!

Resources from this Episode

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5 Essential Skills to Grow your Emotional Intelligence | Dr. Karyn Gordon Aug 08, 2022

In today’s episode, we cover leadership with Dr. Karyn Gordon. Dr. Karyn Gordon is the CEO and co-founder of DK Leadership, a TED Talk speaker, and the Wall Street Journal Bestselling author of The Three Chairs: How Great Leaders Drive Communication, Performance, and Engagement.

Leadership skills are great for anyone to have, but they are crucial if you want to get ahead professionally, so what are the signs you need to work on your leadership skills, what can you do to work on them, and what’s the best way to ask for feedback so you know you’re improving?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
What are the five components of emotional intelligence?
Signs your leadership skills are lacking – 18:11
What are some signs you need to work on your leadership skills before you shoot for a leadership position?
What exercise can you do with your team at work to identify weak spots in your leadership skills?
The best way to ask for feedback – 24:45
What can you do to ask your manager or supervisor for feedback that shows your willingness to excel within the company?
What are the three chairs of leadership? – 41:03
Who has the hardest time setting boundaries and what can you do to improve your ability to set better boundaries?

Leaders with a high emotional intelligence can inspire their followers to achieve great things. If you’re aspiring to be a leader, or are currently in a leadership position and feel like you could use some improvement, start by working on your emotional intelligence. There are many ways to do this, but one of the best is simply to ask for feedback. Let your manager or supervisor know that you want to excel within the company and that you’re willing to work hard to improve any areas where they see potential for growth. Then take that feedback and turn it into action. Finally, remember that setting boundaries is an important part of being a good leader. It can be difficult to say no sometimes, but it’s crucial if you want to maintain your own sanity (and health) while leading others.

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Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.

Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!

Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!

Resources from this Episode

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5 Ways To Use Your Emotions For Creative Success | Susan Cain Aug 01, 2022

In today’s episode, we cover the value of sorrow and longing with Susan Cain. Susan is the author of the Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking, and her newest book Bittersweet: How Sorrow and Longing Make Us Whole is focused on sorrow and longing as inspiration to experience sublime emotions opposed to the constant positivity expected by society.

Modern society reinforces the idea that we should strive to be positive in everything we do, but is positivity always better for you, why do we then seek forms of entertainment that evoke feelings like sadness, and how should we treat these emotions that society tells us we need to dismiss or get over?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
Is there a link between creativity and melancholy?
What is the difference between melancholy and depression and why does one support creativity while the other suppresses it?
Why are we drawn to entertainment that evokes sadness – 15:21
What is it about sadness and beauty that we are drawn to?
Why is it important to have a creative outlet for our emotions and what consequences do we risk by not pursuing a healthy outlet?
What is the best way to process grief?
What can leaders do to provide a healthy work environment – 29:48
What can you do to support your employees to minimize the chances of burnout and poor productivity?
How do you figure out what you want to do with your life – 39:00
What should you do if you’re worried about hitting the milestones everyone expects of you (career, marriage, house, kids, etc)?
How to figure out what you want to do with your life?
The state of introversion vs extraversion – 49:12
What has changed in society with respect to understanding and empowering introverts?

It’s important to take care of our mental health and process our emotions in a healthy way. It’s also crucial that we don’t shy away from the things that make us feel sad or down. There is something powerful and beautiful about sadness, and when we allow ourselves to explore it we can often find new ways of looking at the world and new sources of inspiration.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.

Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!

Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!

Resources from this Episode

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How To Boost Your Emotional Intelligence w/ Dr. Aprilia West Jul 25, 2022

In today’s episode, we cover emotion efficacy with Dr. Aprilia West. Dr. West is a psychologist and executive and team leadership coach who works extensively with artists, creatives, and entertainment execs to increase their emotional intelligence, psychological flexibility, and resilience.

Emotions influence our thoughts and actions everyday, so what can you do to understand them, understand where they come from, and understand how to manage them so they don’t lead you to make harmful decisions?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
What is emotion efficacy?
What is the emotional default world and how does it shape your behavior?
The importance of emotion efficacy – 13:33
What is the difference between feelings and emotions?
The signs of low emotion efficacy – 27:00
How do you know if you have low emotion efficacy?
What questions can you ask yourself to understand where you have room to grow emotionally?
Five Steps to Increase Emotion Efficacy – 35:10
What can you do to increase your emotion efficacy?
What does it look like to have great emotion efficacy in times of intense uncertainty?
The Loneliness Epidemic – 40:05
What role does emotion efficacy play in your ability to connect with others and build friendships?

Emotion efficacy is the ability to understand your emotions and express them in a healthy manner. It’s what allows you to stay in a positive emotional state and navigate challenging situations. In times of intense uncertainty, it can be one of the most important things you possess.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.

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Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!

Resources from this Episode

Dr Aprilia West’s website
What You Feel Is Not All There Is by Dr. Aprilia West
Dr Aprilia West on Instagram

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How to Quickly Identify and Disarm Narcissists | Lily Walford Jul 18, 2022

In today’s episode, we cover narcissism with Lily Walford. Lily is an international dating coach and the survivor of a toxic narcissistic relationship.

Narcissists are all around us and can cause untold harm to our mental wellbeing, so what can you do to identify and disarm narcissists, how can you tell if you’re in a relationship with one, and what should you look for to avoid getting into a relationship with one?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
What does narcissism look like?
How to identify narcissists – 15:30
What signs can you look for if you think you’re dating a narcissist?
How do you know if someone is a narcissist?
Self-care after a relationship with a narcissist – 24:05
What can you do to take care of yourself after a toxic relationship with a narcissist?
Disarming Narcissists – 31:15
What can you to disarm a narcissist?
How will a narcissist stop you from disarming him or her?
Dating after a narcissist – 41:07
What 4 elements should you look for in a healthy relationship?
What can you do to reinvigorate a relationship?

Narcissists tend to be charismatic and successful. If you surround yourself with top performers, chances are there is a narcissist among them. So it’s important to be able to identify them before they wreak havoc on your personal and professional life. Additionally, there are steps you can take to disarm narcissists so they lose their power over you and the people around you. And if you find yourself dating a narcissist, make sure you take time after the relationship to identify what went wrong and be on the lookout for the 4 elements of a healthy relationship so you don’t end up dating another narcissist.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.

Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!

Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!

Resources from this Episode

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How To Use Competition to Propel You to Success | Ashley Merryman Jul 11, 2022

In today’s episode, we cover the science of competition with Ashley Merryman. Ashley is the Non-Resident Senior Fellow for the Joint Special Operations University and author of Top Dog: The Science of Winning and Losing.

Competition can be healthy and unhealthy, so how do you know the difference between healthy and unhealthy competition, what are the differences between how introverts and extroverts handle competition, and how does gender play a role in competition?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
What are the biggest myths surrounding competition and trying to be number one?
What are the benefits of competition?
Healthy vs Unhealthy Competition – 9:00
What is the difference between healthy competition and unhealthy competition?
Where does the fear of failure come from?
Overcome Fear of Failure – 15:30
What is the difference between a challenge and a threat and how can one lead you to failure while the other leads to success?
What can you do to overcome the fear of failure when you know people are watching you?
Don’t Think About Pink Elephants – 29:40
What can you do to start being competitive again after a severe loss?
What are the differences between men and women when it comes to competition and competitive environments?
What role does gender play in competition?
Introverts vs Extroverts in Competition – 56:20
Why do introverts and extroverts approach competition differently and how can you use that knowledge to improve your ability to compete whether you are an introvert or extrovert?

Competition can be a powerful motivator, but it’s important to make sure that you are using it in a healthy way. When competition becomes destructive and fear-based, it ruins our relationships and keeps us from achieving our goals. By understanding your own tendencies and working on overcoming your fears, you can learn to use competition in a positive way that unlocks your full potential.

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Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.

Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!

Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!

Resources from this Episode

Top Dog: The Science of Winning and Losing by Ashley Merryman
Ashley Merryman’s website
Ashley Merryman on Twitter

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How to Build a Recession-Proof Network | Toolbox Jul 04, 2022

In today’s episode, we cover networking to survive the recession with AJ and Johnny.

People rely on those they trust in times of economic hardship, so what can you do to grow your network before the next economic downturn and what value can you offer to strengthen your existing network so you’re in a better position when the next recession hits?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
Why is networking so important when you’re starting in a new field or trying to move up in your current field?
Why is a strong network important to have before a recession begins?
What everyone gets wrong about networking – 13:03
How do you network effectively so you’re not shooting yourself in the foot at every networking event?
What is social capital and why do you need to understand it to network effectively?
What three ways can you provide value to anyone in your network?
The 4 levels of support value you can offer to anyone – 23:20
What can you do to stand out from the crowd when congratulating or supporting someone in your network?
Leverage your network to provide value to others – 33:50
How can you use your existing network to grow it while also offering value to people inside and outside of your network?
What simple strategy can you use to grow your network from nothing on LinkedIn?

It’s not a question of if the next recession will hit, but when. So, it’s important to start building your network now. A strong network can help you weather any storm. The more people you know in different industries and positions, the more resources you have at your disposal. Social capital is key to networking effectively; make sure you understand what it is and how to use it to your advantage.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.

Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!

Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!

Resources from this Episode

How to Attract High Value People & Opportunities | Toolbox

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How To Win With Risk | Angie Morgan Jun 27, 2022

In today’s episode, we cover with Angie Morgan. Angie is the co-author of Bet on You: How to Win with Risk, a book about discovering the formula for success and decision-making confidence to transform even the most risk-averse mindset.

We have to take risks in order to become great at anything, but what do you do if that risk stops you dead in your tracks, who should you seek out for advice, and how can you manage risk so you can accomplish your dreams?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
How do you break something down that appears to be a large risk?
Who are the three types of people you should look out for when getting advice on a big risk you want to take, and who should you avoid?
How to Find High Value Communities – 13:05
Where can you go to find high value communities that will support you and help you on your journey to achieve your dreams?
How to Grow Your Confidence – 20:20
What are the three components of confidence you need to focus on in order to become more confident?
How to Mitigate Big Risk – 39:30
What three strategies can you implement to effectively manage the risks you take in life?

When it comes to making big decisions, it’s important to get advice from the right people. Seek out those who will give you honest feedback and support you on your journey. Avoid getting bogged down by negative people or those who are not willing to help you achieve your dreams. With the right mindset and a supportive community, anything is possible. What risks are you ready to take in order to achieve your goals?

A Word From Our Sponsors

Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.

Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!

Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!

Resources from this Episode

Bet on You: How to Win with Risk by Angie Morgan

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How To Build Rapport Quickly With Anyone | Toolbox Jun 20, 2022

In today’s episode, we cover building high value relationships with AJ & Johnny.

Building high value relationships requires vulnerability, but what does it mean to be vulnerable, how do you know when to be vulnerable, and what are some simple strategies you can use to be more effective in relationship building?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
Why is it important to build high value relationships?
How do you start making new friends?
Turn Small Talk into Smart Talk – 12:00
Why is vulnerability important when building connections with people?
How do you bring vulnerability into your social interactions?
The Three Levels of Vulnerability – 17:00
What is the first level of vulnerability and how do you know when to use it?
How do you know when to go to the deepest level of vulnerability?
What red flags should you look for in the way people react to your vulnerability?
The Cave Analogy of Vulnerability – 37:50
Why is it important to lead with vulnerability before expecting others to be vulnerable?

We hope that you walk away from this episode feeling empowered to build high value relationships with others. By being vulnerable and authentic, we create opportunities for true connection and intimacy. When we lead with vulnerability, it sets the tone for a more open and connected relationship in which both parties can be their true selves. What are you waiting for? Start building those connections today!

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Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!

Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!

Resources from this Episode

The Strength of Weak Ties by Mark S. Granovetter
Art of Charm Small Talk Cheat Sheet

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How To Build Trust with Anyone Using Social Engineering | Christopher Hadnagy Jun 13, 2022

In today’s episode, we cover social engineering with Christopher Hadnagy. Chris is an IT entrepreneur, IT security consultant, and the best-selling author of five books including his latest Human Hacking: Win Friends, Influence People, and Leave Them Better Off for Having Met You.

Social engineering is an effective tool to get what you want, but what is social engineering, how can you use it to instantly build rapport with complete strangers, and what should you look for if you think someone is using it against you?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
What is social engineering and how do people use it every day?
How to Build Rapport – 10:10
Why is it important to learn how to build rapport and how do you go about learning it?
The Four Questions of Trustworthiness – 25:18
What are the four questions we ask ourselves to determine whether or not we can trust someone?
How can you build rapport instantly with someone you’ve just met?
When is flattery NOT ok? – 41:30
When should you avoid complimenting someone?
What’s the best way to compliment someone?

Social engineering is a powerful tool that can be used in positive or negative ways. By learning how to build rapport, you can use social engineering for good – to make connections with people, learn their stories, and understand them better. When you know how to spot red flags and protect yourself against social engineers, you become a more informed and empowered individual who can help keep themselves and others safe.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.

Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!

Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!

Resources from this Episode

Human Hacking: Win Friends, Influence People, and Leave Them Better Off for Having Met You by Christopher Hadnagy
Christopher Hadnagy’s website
Christopher Hadnagy on Twitter

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How To Set Up Your Environment For Your Success | Dr. Emily Sandoz Jun 06, 2022

In today’s episode, we cover contextual behaviorism with Dr. Emily Sandoz. Emily is a professor of social sciences in the psychology department at the University of Louisiana at Lafayette, the director of the Louisiana Contextual Science Research Group, as well as the Editor in Chief of the Journal of Contextual Behavioral Sciences, and has co-authored three books on acceptance and commitment therapy.

Changing or eliminating problematic behavior is not as simple as flipping a switch, but what role does your environment play, how can you identify contextual problems in your daily life that are affecting your behavior, and what is the best way to learn new behaviors?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
What is contextual behaviorism and how does the environment influence your ability to change your behavior?
Using – 11:50
How can you use contextual behaviorism to change your problematic behavior?
What does it mean to have access to certain behaviors and how do you what behaviors you do have access to?
Learning new behaviors – 23:07
What is the best way to learn new behaviors?
How can you use contextualism to manage your perfectionism?
Give better advice with context in mind – 33:00
How can you set up your environment to be more conducive to the life you want?
How do you shift from a goal-driven mindset to a value-driven mindset and what’s the difference?

Context matters. That couldn’t be more true than with our behavioral development. Our behaviors impact the world around us and the world around us impacts our behaviors. So if you’re struggling to change your behaviors, one of the best places to look for a solution is your environment. What is it about your environment that is making it more difficult for you to change?

A Word From Our Sponsors

Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.

Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!

Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!

Resources from this Episode

Dr. Emily Sandoz

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How to Attract High Value People & Opportunities | Toolbox May 30, 2022

In today’s episode, we cover high value behaviors with AJ and Johnny.

Being a high value person opens doors to opportunities you never thought possible, so what does it mean to be high value, what high value behaviors should you look for in yourself and others, and what simple steps can you take to filter high value people into your life?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
Why are high value behaviors important if you want to have a healthy social circle and fulfilling life?
What does it mean to be high value – 16:10
What is the difference between high and low value behaviors and why should you avoid low value behaviors if you don’t want to be miserable?
How do you deal with friends who want to hold you back when you’re trying to grow and be a better person?
How to Build a High Value Social Circle – 28:00
What steps can you take to build and maintain a social circle of high value individuals who will support you and be there for you when you need them?
Examples of High Value Behavior – 37:50
How can you identify high value behavior in the people around you so you know who to connect with and who to avoid?

So, what are high value behaviors? They’re the things that help us grow and become better people. They make our lives more fulfilling and meaningful. And they attract other high value individuals into our social circles. We all want to be happy and have a good life, but too often we get stuck around low value behavior that keeps us from reaching our goals. If you want to break out of this cycle and build a better life for yourself, start by making some changes in the way you interact with the people around you. Replace low value behaviors with high value ones, and surround yourself with positive people who will support your growth. It won’t be easy, but it’s worth it.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.

Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!

Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!

Resources from this Episode

Avoid These 3 Low Value Behaviors (Toolbox)

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How to Win Your Breakup | Natasha Adamo May 23, 2022

In today’s episode, we cover winning your breakup with Natasha Adamo. Natasha is a high-performance coach, relationship coach, speaker, blogger with over two and a half million readers, and the author of Win Your Breakup: How to Be The One That Got Away.

Breakups can be painful and get drawn out, so what can you do win your breakup, what does it mean to win, and how can you avoid falling into another toxic relationship?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
What are the signs of toxic relationships?
How do you win your breakup?
Breaking the Toxic Relationship Cycle – 19:48
How do you break the cycle of jumping from one toxic relationship to another?
What signs should you look for in a potential partner?
Stay on your white horse after a breakup – 27:20
What steps should you take after a breakup to speed up the recovery process?
What should you avoid doing after a breakup if you want to move on?
Emotional Entrepreneurship – 45:36
What is an emotional entrepreneur and why are people drawn to emotional entrepreneurs?

Winning a breakup is not about getting your ex back. It's about gaining back control of your life and becoming emotionally stronger. So how do you win? You need to understand what it means to win. Identify the signs of toxic relationships, break the cycle of jumping from one toxic relationship to another, and take steps to speed up the recovery process..

A Word From Our Sponsors

Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.

Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!

Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!

Resources from this Episode

Natasha Adamo’s website
Win Your Breakup: How to Be The One That Got Away by Natasha Adamo

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5 Steps To Boost Your Mental Health | Lori Gottlieb May 16, 2022

In today’s episode, we cover mental health with Lori Gottlieb. Lori is a psychotherapist in Los Angeles, co-host of the podcast Dear Therapists, and the author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone.

Mental health is a priority now more than ever, so what are the overlooked signs that someone is struggling with mental health, how do you know if you should talk to a professional, and why is boundary setting crucial to positive mental health?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
What are the overlooked signs that someone is struggling with mental health issues?
What is the value in seeing a therapist versus talking to your friends and family about issues you’re experiencing in life?
The self-sabotaging stories we tell ourselves – 11:12
Why do we tell ourselves stories about what happens to us and how do those stories have lasting negative impacts on us and the people around us?
What impact do the people around us have on our mental health and what can you do if your friends aren’t healthy for you?
Setting and maintaining boundaries – 24:24
How do you set boundaries and maintain them with people who constantly violate them?
Finding the right person – 47:05
What is the number one question you should ask yourself when on a first date?

Mental health is something many people struggle with, but often don’t talk about. The signs that someone is struggling can be easily overlooked if you’re not aware of them. It’s important to be there for your loved ones and help them get the help they need if you see any of these signs. If you’re experiencing mental health issues, it’s valuable to seek out therapy. Friends and family are great sources of support, but sometimes talking to somebody neutral who isn’t invested in our lives can be really helpful, even lifesaving.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.

Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!

Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!

Resources from this Episode

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How to Influence and Persuade People | Zoe Chance May 09, 2022

In today’s episode, we cover influence with Zoe Chance. Zoe is a teacher, writer, researcher, climate philanthropist, earned her doctorate from Harvard, teaches Mastering Influence and Persuasion, the most popular class at the Yale School of Management, and is the author of Influence is Your Superpower: The Science of Winning Hearts, Sparking Change, and Making Good Things Happen.

Influencing the people around you is a superpower, but how do you develop that ability through your charisma, what common mistakes are you making that kill your charisma, and what is the most important skill you need to influence people?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
Why is your ability to influence others a superpower?
What are the three paradoxes of charisma?
Anti-charismatic statements – 15:15
What are diminishing statements, why do so many of us use them, and how do they kill your charisma?
Charming vs Manipulating – 23:14
How can you tell the difference between people using strategies and tactics to build genuine connections and using them to manipulate others to get what they want?
How do you say no if you’re a people pleaser and what can you do to get comfortable with saying no?
What does it mean to reframe something? – 32:30
What is reframing and why is it a powerful tool in communication?
What is the worst way to try and get someone to see your point of view?
The levels of listening – 47:30
What are the 5 levels of listening, and which level is the most important if you’re trying to connect with someone?

You have the ability to influence others, and that is a superpower. It’s time to start using your power for good. When you become aware of diminishing statements and how they kill your charisma, you can start reframing your communication in order to build genuine connections with the people around you. With practice, this will become second nature, and you’ll be able to use your newfound superpower for good in all areas of your life.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.

Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!

Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!

Resources from this Episode

Influence Is Your Superpower: The Science of Winning Hearts, Sparking Change, and Making Good Things Happen By Zoe Chance

Zoe Chance’s website

Give and Take: Why Helping Others Drives Our Success by Adam Grant

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

The ACT Workbook for Perfectionism

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How to Achieve Metabolic Health | Dr. Philip Ovadia May 02, 2022

In today’s episode, we cover metabolic health with Dr Philip Ovadia. Dr. Ovadia is a board certified Cardiac Surgeon, founder of Ovadia Heart Health, and the author of Stay Off My Operating Table: A Heart Surgeon’s Metabolic Health Guide to Lose Weight, Prevent Disease, and Feel Your Best Every Day.

What you put into your body has a direct impact on your metabolic health, but what is metabolic health, why is it important, and what can you do to support a strong metabolic health so you don’t end up on the operating table or in an early grave?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
What is metabolic health and how does it impact the other areas of your life including mental health?
The big medical myths – 13:17
What is the biggest medical myth that is making us more unhealthy every year?
Should we be consuming supplements?
How did unhealthy food become so normalized that we serve it in hospitals where we’re supposed to go to get better?
The 5 metrics of Metabolic Health – 26:09
What metrics should you and your doctor pay attention to if you want to avoid ending up on the operating table?
What is the biggest pitfall of intermittent fasting and what can you do to work around it?
Nutrition and Metabolic Health – 35:44
What should you eat to support your metabolic health and what should you avoid?
How do nutrition and your metabolic health affect your mental well being?

It’s clear that metabolic health is critical for overall well-being. Unfortunately, unhealthy food has become normalized to the point where we are now serving it in hospitals. If you want to avoid ending up on the operating table, make sure you and your doctor are paying attention to the following metrics: fasting blood sugar, blood pressure, cholesterol levels, and waist circumference. To support your metabolic health, make sure you eat plenty of fiber-rich fruits and vegetables and other whole foods. Avoid processed foods high in sugar and seed oils. By making small changes to your diet, you can improve your metabolic health and reduce your risk of developing chronic diseases like heart disease or diabetes.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.

Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!

Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!

Resources from this Episode

Dr Ovadia’s website
Stay Off My Operating Table Podcast hosted by Dr Ovadia
Stay off My Operating Table: A Heart Surgeon’s Metabolic Health Guide to Lose Weight, Prevent Disease, and Feel Your Best Every Day by Dr Ovadia
Dr Ovadia on Twitter
Why We Get Fat: And What to Do About It by Gary Taubes

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How To Read Body Language | Abbie Maroño Apr 25, 2022

In today’s episode, we cover trust and cooperation with Abbie Maroño. Abbie is the Director of Education at Social-Engineer, is a lecturer in Psychology, has a PhD in Behavior Analysis, was mentored by the body language expert Joe Navarro, and performs academic research specializing in nonverbal communication, trust, and cooperation.

Trust is important because our survival depends on our ability to cooperate with the people around us, so why do we place a strong emphasis on competition, what signals should we look for to determine someone’s trustworthiness, and how do we build trust in the first place?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
What is the definition of trust according to modern science?
How fast can trust be built and destroyed?
The big myth about competition and survival of the fittest – 10:10
What do we get wrong about competition vs cooperation in modern society, and why does this misconception lead to unhappiness and discontent in the workplace?
What nonverbal signals should you look for to determine if someone is trustworthy?
The trust problem with Zoom and Facetime – 24:52
What 3 common mistakes should you avoid when talking to someone through a video call if you want to build trust and comfort?
How does your lower body signal your approachability to the people around you, and how should you be standing if you want to be approachable?
How to rebuild trust – 37:48
What is the best way to apologize and rebuild trust after you break it?
What are the biggest myths surrounding eye contact and trust?

Trust is essential for both our personal and professional lives, but it can be difficult to build and easy to destroy. By understanding the signals we send when it comes to trustworthiness, we can take the necessary steps to build trust or rebuild trust after it’s been broken. And by fostering a cooperative environment, we can create happier relationships and more productive teams.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.

Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!

Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!

Resources from this Episode

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The Best Negotiation Tactics (Yale Professor) | Barry Nalebuff | Art of Charm Apr 18, 2022

In today’s episode, we cover negotiation with Barry Nalebuff. Barry is a Professor at Yale where he has taught negotiation, innovation, strategy, and game theory for thirty years, and recently authored Split the Pie: A Radical New Way to Negotiate, which is based on his negotiation course.

Negotiating can be intimidating if you don’t do it on a regular basis, so what simple tips can you remember to make your next negotiation a win, how do you negotiate with people who are clearly more experienced than you, and what is the best question to ask when negotiating your salary?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
What’s the difference between Split the Pie and Never Split the Difference?
How to negotiate with unfair people – 10:55
What can you do to negotiate with people who don’t care about fairness?
How can you “be ready to walk away” from a once-in-a-lifetime deal?
Dealing with people who don’t see the win-win outcome – 21:10
How do we use empathy to get the other person’s perspective and come up with a deal that satisfies both parties?
How much information should you disclose in a negotiation if you’re worried the information might be used against you?
How to build your negotiation skills – 35:30
What can you do to develop your negotiation skills?
How can you get the other party to see the pie you’re negotiating over?
What advice should you avoid when negotiating?
Negotiate the salary you deserve – 44:08
What questions can you ask so you know how to ask for the best compensation package without losing the offer?

It is important to remember that the goal of any negotiation should be a mutually beneficial agreement, aka the pie. Both parties need to feel like they’ve won something and achieved their goals in order for negotiations to be successful. If you can walk into a negotiation with empathy and an understanding of the other person’s perspective, you’re already on your way to building better skills. What have been your biggest challenges when negotiating? Let us know in the comments below. We would love to help!

A Word From Our Sponsors

Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.

Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!

Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!

Resources from this Episode

Split the Pie by Barry Nalebuff
Co-Opetition by Barry Nalebuff

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5 Most Common Myths About the Brain | Lisa Barrett Apr 11, 2022

In today’s episode, we cover the brain with Lisa Barrett, PhD. Lisa is among the top one percent most cited scientists in the world for her revolutionary research in psychology and neuroscience, and is the author of the best-selling Seven and a Half Lessons About the Brain.

As we learn more about the brain we realize how mistaken we once were, so what have we been getting wrong about the brain, what have we learned, and how can you use that information to eliminate the unhelpful patterns and bad habits holding you back from living a fulfilling life?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
Where did the myth about the lizard brain come from and why is it such a popular belief?
Moving beyond the Lizard Brain – 10:47
What is the correct way to think about the conflict between rationality and what we mistakenly believe is the lizard brain so we can work toward becoming the people we want to be?
How is our brain functionality connected to our metabolism and how can you use that information to increase your brain’s performance and longevity?
Busting the Memory Myth – 26:10
How do our memories influence the way we operate in life and what can you do to overwrite old patterns that aren’t helping you anymore?
How does your metabolism
Do we have control over our actions? – 35:10
How does your body react to things before you are consciously aware of them and how can you use that to recognize unhelpful patterns?
What can you do to deconstruct unhelpful patterns and habits, and make it easier to build healthier habits?
Why does anxiety make things harder? – 43:30
What can you do to make it easier to do things that would normally cause you a lot of stress and anxiety?
How do our brains wire to connect and influence the brains of the people we interact with?

Science has shown us that our words and behavior have a measurable impact on the health of people around us. This means if we want to have a positive impact on those we care about, it’s crucial that we are thoughtful and intentional when interacting with others. Be mindful of the words you use, the eye contact you make, the body language you use, and how you treat people. Every person you influence will in turn influence you, so if you want to live in a positive, supporting environment, make sure you are treating others with love, respect, and encouragement.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.

Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!

Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!

Resources from this Episode

Lisa Barrett’s website
Seven And A Half Lessons About The Brain by Lisa Barrett
How Emotions are Made: The Secret Life of the Brain by Lisa Barrett

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Avoid These 3 Low Value Behaviors (Toolbox) Apr 04, 2022

In today’s episode, we cover low value behavior with AJ and Johnny.

We all exhibit low value behavior that can push people away from us, so what are low value behaviors, what makes us exhibit low value behavior, and what can you do to stop these low value behaviors from destroying friendships and relationships?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
What are low value behaviors, how do they push people away from us, and how can you notice them so you stop exhibiting them?
Why do low value behaviors make it difficult to create lasting friendships and relationships?
Why do we need attention, approval, and acceptance? – 14:20
What do we need from other humans to feel safe and why does every human need it?
How does your childhood shape the way you seek out value in the world and what can you do if your childhood influenced you to exhibit a lot of low value behaviors?
How to Identify Low Value Behaviors – 24:27
What is the difference between a high value person and a low value person?
What is supplicative behavior and what are some examples so you can make sure you don’t exhibit supplicative behavior?
When is being agreeable considered low value behavior?
Combative Behavior – 43:02
Why is it low value behavior to be argumentative and confrontational?
What are the verbal and nonverbal signals of combative behavior?
The Third Low Value Behavior – 50:05
When is it low value behavior to be competitive?
What is it about these low value behaviors that repel high value people from your life and what can you shift to high value behavior instead?

One of the worst blindspots people have in social situations is the way we go about satisfying our need for attention, approval, and acceptance. And we refer to attention, approval, and acceptance as value. We all have a need for value whether you like it or not. The difference between low value people and high value people is the way they go about getting that value. Low value people beg for it, fight you for it, and compete with you for it. High value people simply recognize their own value and seek to highlight the value in the people around them.

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Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!

Resources from this Episode

Mira Kirshenbaum | The Biggest Myth About Arguments

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Overcoming Nice Guy Syndrome | Dr. Robert Glover Mar 28, 2022

In today’s episode, we cover passive communication with Dr Robert Glover. Robert is an internationally recognized authority on the Nice Guy Syndrome, has helped thousands of nice guys transform from being passive, resentful victims to empowered, integrated males, and is the author of No More Mr. Nice Guy: A Proven Plan For Getting What You Want in Love, Sex and Life.

Trying to be the nice guy is a fatal step many men take to get what they want out of life, but what makes being a nice guy so bad, how can you identify your nice guy tendencies, and what can you do to get what you want without being a jerk?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
What is Nice Guy Syndrome and why is being a nice guy (or nice girl) counterproductive to getting what you want out of life?
Does Nice Guy Syndrome also apply to women?
Being a Nice Guy makes people like you less – 13:30
Why does being a nice guy lead people to trust you less and like you less, and what should you do instead?
Why do Nice Guys seem inauthentic and untrustworthy?
The Covert Contracts of Nice Guys – 19:38
What are the three secret contracts Nice Guys have with other people and why are these contracts harmful to them and their relationships?
Identify Relationships that are not serving you – 32:34
What are Cooperative Reciprocal Relationships and what exercise can you do now to understand what relationships are not helping you and what relationships you should add to your life?
Setting Boundaries and Expressing Your Desires – 44:25
What can you do if you know you should set boundaries but aren’t sure how to set them or defend them when people around you push back?
If you feel shame related to your sexual desires, what can you do to work through it and develop a healthy relationship with your needs and wants, as well as expressing them confidently instead of hiding them?

Being a nice guy sounds like a good idea, doesn’t it? Why would it be a bad thing? Turns out, when a man is trying to be a nice guy, it almost always means he’s not being authentic. Many times, a nice guy is nice because he thinks that’s what other people want him to be. He thinks being nice will result in people liking him and treating him better and sleeping with him. Instead, people see the niceness as a facade masking his true intentions and feelings. This makes him untrustworthy and unlikable. People respect and are drawn to others who are comfortable being themselves and being honest with the people around them.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.

Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!

Resources from this Episode

Dr. Robert Glover’s website
No More Mr. Nice Guy by Dr. Robert Glover

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How To Be A Persuasive Rebel | Todd Kashdan Mar 21, 2022

In today’s episode, we cover the art of insubordination with Todd Kashdan. Todd is among the world’s top experts on the psychology of well-being, psychological strengths, mental agility, and social relationships.

Being a dissenter in today’s society is hard, but it is more important now than ever, so what can you do to raise questions about problems you see without being silenced, and how can you get your message across so people rally behind you instead of condemn you?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
What is the art of insubordination and why should you care?
Why is it important to have a public square where people can meet and exchange ideas?
The crucial importance of a clear consistent message – 12:07
If political polarization isn’t our biggest issue in society, what is and how do we overcome it?
How does technology speed up how quickly we self-segregate and isolate ourselves from different ideas and why is this dangerous to society?
Why does the use of labels get us into trouble and how do we overcome the stigma of labels?
Why We Must Understand the Art of Insubordination – 25:17
Why is the act of dissent important?
What can you do to persuade friends and family when you are a dissenter?
How can you introduce dissent into the mainstream without getting canceled?
How to be a Principled Rebel in Modern Society – 35:12
What does it mean to be a principled rebel and why does every society need principled rebels?
What is the best way to get your message across if you are part of a struggling minority influence?
Why do we need to expose ourselves to ideas that run counter to our own beliefs and worldview?

Dissenting is about more than just holding ideas and beliefs counter to mainstream thought. You must be willing to get involved in mainstream conversations, listen to what people have to say, and provide a legitimate path forward so people can see where your ideas lead. This allows them to be more comfortable following your ideas and handling any discomfort that might come from trying to change their worldview and the world around them.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.

Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog w,hen you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!

Resources from this Episode

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A Guide to Leadership Decision Making | David Siegel Mar 14, 2022

In today’s episode, we cover leadership and decision-making with David Siegel. David is the CEO of Meetup, the largest platform for finding and building local communities, and the author of Decide & Conquer: 44 Decisions that will Make or Break All Leaders.

Success is determined by the decisions you make and the people you surround yourself with, so how can you know when you’re making the right decision for your future, what can you do to surround yourself with people who will help you create success, and how do you maintain firm boundaries along the way?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
What does it take to be the CEO of a great company like Meetup and how can you apply that knowledge to your own goals?
Build a powerful network like a CEO – 19:28
What can you do to build a network that will get you to the next level of your career?
How do you create luck in your life so more and more opportunities present themselves to you?
What can you do to set firm boundaries as you become more successful?
Navigate difficult conversations with ease – 38:14
When is the right time to have a difficult conversation and what can you do to make difficult conversations easier?
How do you move your ego out of the way so it doesn’t sabotage your success as a leader?
Build a thriving company culture – 49:03
What can you do to foster a company culture that is open to change and willing to cooperate on effecting change?
What’s next for Meetup?

CEOs know the importance of having a powerful network and tough decision-making. It’s what gets them through difficult conversations and allows them to build a thriving company culture. But, it doesn’t happen overnight. You have to be intentional about who you connect with and how you engage with them if you want to reap the benefits. What are some things you can do this week to start building your own powerful CEO-style network and decision-making framework?

A Word From Our Sponsors

Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.

Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!

Resources from this Episode

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Build and Maintain Boundaries | Nedra Tawwab Mar 07, 2022

In today’s episode, we cover setting boundaries with Nedra Tawwab. Nedra is a licensed therapist, sought-after relationship expert who has practiced relationship therapy for 14 years, and author of the instant New York Times bestseller “Set Boundaries, Find Peace”.

Boundaries are a challenging concept to implement for many, but it can be simplified once you understand them, so what are boundaries, what does it mean to communicate and defend your boundaries, and how do you handle situations where people are repeatedly crossing your boundaries?

What to Listen For

Introduction to Boundaries – 0:00
Why did Nedra Tawwab write a book on boundaries?
Why is boundary setting pushed out of us as children only to be demanded of us as adults, and what can you do to reclaim your ability to set boundaries so you can avoid unhealthy relationships?
What does it mean to set a boundary and how do you know when you should set a boundary?
Respecting Your Boundaries – 11:00
What should you say if you need to back out of a commitment?
Should you feel bad about backing out of a commitment?
What leads someone to ghost you and how should you handle it?
Building & Defending Your Boundaries – 24:50
What should you say if someone disrespects your boundary?
How do you set new boundaries with someone?
What can you do to show up for your team while setting healthy boundaries so you can get your work done?
Healthy vs Unhealthy Consequences for Boundaries – 34:40
How do you know when a relationship should end if the other person keeps crossing your boundaries?
How do you handle family members who are unwilling or unable to respect your boundaries?

Boundaries are important because they allow us to build healthy relationships with people who respect us as individuals. If you don’t communicate to someone what it means to respect you and treat you well, you’re gambling on their ability to read your mind. I don’t know any mind readers so I’d call that a bad gamble.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.

Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!

Resources from this Episode

Nedra Tawwab on Instagram
Nedra Tawwab’s website
Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Tawwab
Set Boundaries Workbook

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Perfectionism: The Enemy Of Progress | Jennifer Kemp Mar 01, 2022

In today’s episode, we cover procrastination and perfectionism with Jennifer Kemp. Jennifer is a leading expert on perfectionism and builds flexibility and self-compassion when working with therapeutic clients.

Many of us experience perfectionism in different ways but they all hold us back from where we want to be, so what are the different ways perfectionism shows up in your life, what are the warning signs your perfectionism is unhealthy, and what can you do to overcome your perfectionism?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
What is unhelpful perfectionism and how is it different from the perfectionism we understand today?
What 4 signs can you look for to identify whether your perfectionism is healthy or not?

The importance of adapting vs perfecting – 13:40
How does the pursuit of perfection lead to less progression when you’re trying to learn or improve a skill?
What classes can you take to improve your conversational ability, sense of humor, and perfectionism?

What makes Art of Charm training programs so effective – 25:39
How do AoC alumni maintain their development after the program so they don’t fall back into their old behavior?
How does skill development become self-reinforcing so it feels fun rather than a lot of work?

The warning signs of perfectionism – 39:20
How is perfectionism linked to other mental health issues and how can you identify them?
What exercises can you do if you’re struggling with a harsh inner critic?

Is perfectionism keeping you from the success you’re after? You’re not alone. Perfectionism can show up in your life in several ways, including procrastination. Perfectionism can be a strength when it helps you create quality results, but it’s not doing you any favors if it stops you from taking action.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.

Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!

Resources from this Episode

Jennifer Kemp’s website

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5 Skills to Be an Awesome Human | Nataly Kogan Feb 21, 2022

In today’s episode, we cover being an awesome human with Nataly Kogan. Nataly is a former writer for Verywell Mind, the co-founder and CEO of Happier, a leading wellness company on a mission to make millions of people happier, and the author of The Awesome Human Project.

Burnout can be a deadly trap you don’t recognize until the damage is done, so what can you do to avoid it (and still be successful), how does perfectionism make it worse, and how do you find your “why” so you can push through tough times and criticism?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
What are some obvious signs of burnout?
What is the biggest lie entrepreneurs and leaders tell themselves to keep pushing through burn out?

Be an Awesome Human – 12:47
How do you edit your thoughts to help you be the best version of yourself?
What two questions can you ask yourself to edit your thoughts and stop your mind from sabotaging your work, relationships, and goals?
What does it mean to treat yourself with compassion and why do we ALL need to treat ourselves with more compassion?

Perfectionism is the Enemy of Completion – 31:00
How can you reframe perfectionism so it doesn’t stop you from finishing what you start and putting your work out there for others to enjoy?
Why is it detrimental to your success to value every piece of criticism you receive?

Find your “why” and flourish in any job – 41:31
Why is it important to know your “why” when it comes to long term success and fulfillment in any line of work?
What is emotional fitness, why is it just as important as physical fitness, and how do you develop it?

It’s easy to undervalue our physical and mental needs when pursuing ambitious goals. You can get lost in devoting countless hours to building a company and push aside physical exercise because it takes time away from the company. You can get lost in spending all of your free time at the gym and push aside quality sleep because “sleep is for the weak.” But we tend to forget the only reason we can do any of these things is because we have one precious life to work with.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.

Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!

Resources from this Episode

Nataly Kogan’s website

The Awesome Human Project by Nataly Kogan

Awesome Human Hour hosted by Nataly Kogan

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Arthur C. Brooks’s website

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4 Disciplines that Lead to Happiness and Meaning | Arthur C. Brooks Feb 14, 2022

In today’s episode, we cover happiness with Arthur C. Brooks. Arthur is a professor at the Harvard Kennedy School and Harvard Business School, and is the author of 12 books, including the national bestsellers “Love Your Enemies” and “The Conservative Heart”, and his newest title “From Strength to Strength”.

Happiness and meaning are two things we all want but many of us follow the wrong paths to find them, so how do you figure out what the correct path is and how do you find meaning in a world that is focused on satisfying superficial desires?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00

What is the ultimate secret to happiness according to science?
What are the 4 disciplines exhibited by happy people on a daily basis that you can start implementing today?
How can you get the benefits of religious faith & community if organized religion isn’t your thing?

Achievement does not equal Fulfillment – 14:19
Why do some of the most successful people on the planet feel empty and alone?

Why do many of us reach a point in our careers when we feel we’ve peaked and what can you do to keep excelling in your profession beyond that point?
What is success addiction, how do we fall into it, and what can you do to kick the addiction if you find yourself addicted to success?

Strive for fulfillment instead of achievement – 29:10
What should we be pursuing if our current goals of money, power, fame, and pleasure are leading us to feel unhappy, alone, and empty?

Why is school/education not the answer if you’re looking for more meaning in life, and what are we looking for when we think school is the answer?

How are music and other creative pursuits related to our ability to find fulfillment and happiness?

Everyday the world tries to convince us the path to happiness and fulfillment is traversed by spending money on a product or service. We are made to think being famous will lead to fulfillment and love. We mistakenly believe having more power and control over the world around us will lead to feeling complete and accomplished. The funny thing about happiness and fulfillment is they are found in the simple things that do not require significant sums of money: loving the people around you, wanting and needing less, having strong spiritual beliefs, and doing work that is a service to others.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.

Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalogue when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!

Resources from this Episode

From Strength to Strength: Finding Success, Happiness and Deep Purpose in the Second Half of Life by Arthur C. Brooks

Dr. Judson Brewer | Unwinding Anxiety

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Dr Taylor Burrowes’s website

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The 10 Signs of Neuroticism | Dr. Taylor Burrowes Feb 07, 2022

In today’s episode, we cover neuroticism with Dr. Taylor Burrowes. Taylor received her PhD in Marriage and Family Counseling, is a retired mental health counselor and marriage & family therapist, and now works independently.

Like mental health in general, we all fall somewhere on a spectrum of neuroticism, so how can you notice when you’re exhibiting neurotic behavior and what can you do to make sure it doesn’t ruin your relationships?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00

What is neuroticism and how does it show up in all of us?
Who is Dr Taylor Burrowes?

The signs of neuroticism – 15:18
How are restlessness and neuroticism connected and how can you identify when restlessness is leading you to make poor decisions?

Why are pauses important in conversation when you’re speaking to one person or an audience?
What can you do to stop overthinking from ruining your relationships while still allowing it to help you in areas like work?

How does neuroticism influence your social development – 33:36
Why is overthinking detrimental to your ability to be seen as authentic and build relationships?

Why is coaching so important when it comes to developing your social skills?
Why do we jump to conclusions that often have no evidence supporting them and how can we stop doing it?

What causes you to experience neurotic behavior – 52:20
What are the root causes of the neurotic behavior we all experience at times and what can you do about it?

We’re all a little bit crazy, and that’s ok. Neuroticism shows up in all of us in several ways including restlessness, overthinking, and jumping to conclusions. It can get in the way of healthy relationships, especially for men, because neuroticism conveys a lack of confidence in who you are. Once you can recognize neurotic behaviors, you can remind yourself it’s important to not act on them.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.

Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalogue when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!

Resources from this Episode

Dr Taylor Burrowes on Twitter

10 ways neuroticism shows up in men and what to do about it | YouTube

The Vetting System by Dr. Taylor Burrowes

The 4 Stress Languages | YouTube

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us

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The Power of Regret with Daniel Pink Jan 31, 2022

In today’s episode, we cover regret with Daniel Pink. Daniel is the author of several New York Times bestsellers, including Drive and To Sell is Human, and his newest book, The Power of Regret: How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward.

To have freedom of choice means we will experience regret, so what can you do to have a healthy relationship with your regrets, and how can you look at regret moving forward so you make the decisions that will lead to the least amount of regret?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00

What is the best way to motivate a team working on a long term project?
What is the single biggest motivator in someone’s day-to-day work and how can you use that to increase your productivity and your team’s productivity?
What question can you ask to get unstuck when you’re not sure how to proceed in work and life?

Is it possible to live life without any regrets – 13:19
Why is it actually unhealthy to try to live without regrets and what benefit do regrets serve us?

What is the difference between regret and rumination and why can one be good for you but not the other?
What are the four categories of regrets?
How do you know when you should reach out to someone you’ve lost touch with?

How to use regret in a meaningful way – 38:00
What strategies can you use to develop a healthy relationship with your regrets so they don’t stop you from enjoying life and becoming successful?

Why is self-compassion important for neutralizing the harmful effects of regrets?

Regrets can suck, but there are a variety of ways to reframe regret and develop a healthy relationship with it so it guides you rather than torments you. When we feel regret over a decision we made, it’s important to spend time understanding why you feel that regret. Then think about the next time that decision might have to be made and commit to making it. Write it down. Tell your friends so they can hold you accountable if possible.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.

Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalogue when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!

Resources from this Episode

Daniel Pink’s website

The Power of Regret: How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Is Efficiency Overrated?: Minimal Social Interactions Lead to Belonging and Positive Affect

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Breaking The Ice (Small Talk Toolbox) Jan 24, 2022

In today’s episode, we cover breaking the ice with AJ, Johnny, and Michael Herold.

Why is breaking the ice an important skill, what impact does it have on your health, and what strategies can you use to make breaking the ice easy and effective?

What to Listen For

Breaking the ice and your health – 0:00

Why should we be engaging in more small talk and why is it dangerous to our mental and physical health to spend too much time alone?
What is the first obvious signal that loneliness is your new normal and what can you do to break out of that cycle?

Make small talk more effective – 20:18
Why are witty one-liners ineffective at breaking the ice and what should you say instead?

What questions should you avoid when meeting someone for the first time, and what questions should you ask instead?
What is the easiest way to revive a conversation if you feel like it’s dying or getting awkward?

Break the ice MORE OFTEN! – 30:58
How should we be looking at breaking the ice and small talk if we want more opportunities, more friends, and a more fulfilling life?

How do you break the ice with someone wearing headphones?
Why is making small talk important if you have goals and dreams you want to accomplish in life?

It’s easy for us introverts to dismiss small talk and interactions with strangers as a waste of time. What’s the point, right? The problem with this mentality is that it ignores our human nature. We are social creatures, and as social creatures our mental and physical health will suffer if we are isolated from our tribe. That is one reason being exiled from the tribe used to be the ultimate punishment as life without the support of your fellow tribesmen surely meant death in the wild.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.

Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalogue when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!

Resources from this Episode

Art of Charm Ice Breaker Cheat Sheet

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Breath: The New Science of a Lost Art by James Nestor

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James Nestor | The Lost Art of Breathing Jan 17, 2022

In today’s episode, we cover breathing with James Nestor. James has written for Scientific American, BBC, The New York Times, The Atlantic, National Public Radio and more, and is the author of the best-selling book, Breath: The New Science of a Lost Art.

Breathing incorrectly can have detrimental effects on your sleep, metabolism, inflammation, and even your lifespan, but what is the correct way to breathe, why is evolution working against us so we breathe worse over time, and what exercise can you use to train your body to subconsciously breathe correctly?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00

How did James Nestor become so focused on breathing?
How is evolution working against our breathing?
What do people often get wrong about survival of the fittest and evolution?

The Lost Art of Breathing – 11:10
Why is breathing not talked about by the medical community when it’s so crucial to our health and wellbeing?

How does breathing impact your sleep and what can you do to improve your sleep with your breathing?
How does breathing impact your metabolism and how can you use your breathing to help you burn more calories?
How are lung capacity and lifespan connected and how can you increase your lifespan?

Breathe CORRECTLY to eliminate inflammation – 34:00
How is your breathing on a daily basis making your chronic inflammation worse and how should you be breathing instead?

Why do you need to stop breathing with your mouth?

Why do we feel better as humans when we breathe through our noses and not our mouths?
How long should you inhale, hold your breath, and exhale to train your body to breathe correctly?
How can correct breathing make you a better public speaker?

Many people go through their entire lives without thinking about the way they breathe. It’s one of those things that our bodies do automatically so it’s easy to shrug off, but breathing is arguably one of the most important activities we do on a daily basis, so time should be spent trying to understand the best way to breathe.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.

Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalogue when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!

Resources from this Episode

James Nestor’s website

Why We Sleep: Unlocking the Power of Sleep and Dreams by Matthew Walker

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Unwinding Anxiety: New Science Shows How to Break the Cycles of Worry and Fear to Heal Your Mind by Dr. Judson Brewer

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Dr. Judson Brewer | Unwinding Anxiety Jan 10, 2022

In today’s episode, we cover anxiety with Dr. Judson Brewer. Jud is the Director of Research and Innovation at the Mindfulness Center and associate professor in Behavioral and Social Sciences at the School of Public Health and Psychiatry at the School of Medicine at Brown University, as well as head of behavioral health at Sharecare.

Anxiety can make anyone’s life more difficult, but you can take steps to minimize or eliminate it altogether—so how are your habits and thought processes making your anxiety worse, and what can you do to take back control of your life?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00

What common misconceptions do people have about anxiety?
How do habits and anxiety play off each other and what can we do to prevent our habits from creating crippling anxiety?

Taking back control from our environment and biology – 12:51
What can you do to overcome the influence our environments and biology have on amping up our anxiety?

What simple exercise can you do to stop bad habits and when should you do it?
What question can you ask yourself if you want to stop binging or over indulging?

Is anxiety stopping you from pursuing positive activities? – 34:56
What can you do if your anxiety is getting in the way of doing things that are good for you?

How can bringing awareness to your anxiety help you to get your life back from anxiety dictating your actions?

The danger and harm caused by worrying – 49:20
What is going on when you worry and how does it impact your behaviors?

What can you do if you’re constantly worrying?

In ancient times, anxiety was useful for teaching us what we should be concerned about. But in the modern world, we are bombarded with a million things everyday that we “should” worry about. Between notifications on our smartphones, the news, that overflowing email inbox, and everything we see on social media, the anxiety can be overwhelming. As a result, we tend to develop habits as a way of coping with the anxiety, and those habits can lead to even worse anxiety.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.

Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalogue when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!

Resources from this Episode

Dr. Brewer’s website

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Dr. Yael Schonbrun’s website

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Dr. Yael Schonbrun | Dos and Don’ts of Modern Dating Jan 03, 2022

In today’s episode, we cover healthy relationships and finding the right partner with Dr Yael. Dr Yael is a licensed clinical psychologist, assistant professor at Brown University, and writer about parenting, work, and relationships.

A healthy relationship takes work, but how do you know what relationships are worth the work, is moving in together a good test for the relationship, and how do you reignite passion in a relationship?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00

Why did Dr Yael Schonbrun take the Art of Charm Unstoppable program?
What is the trap many of us fall into in the modern dating world and why are we making it harder to find healthy relationships?

Value based dating and moving in together – 13:00
What questions can you ask to figure out what you want to get out of dating?

What mindset do you need to avoid if you’re thinking about moving in with someone you’re dating?
What signs should you look out for when thinking about moving in with someone?

Looking beyond lust for red flags – 30:40
How should you think about lust when you’re actively dating?

Reigniting passion in a relationship – 44:40
What is the foundation for passion in romantic relationships and what can you do to reintroduce it?

What is the evolutionary need for novelty in romantic relationships?
How do you know when a relationship is worth ending?

Your relationships require the same work we put into everything else in life. If we go about life acting as if those relationships will always be there, we are bound to lose them. Why should they invest time in us if we’re not willing to invest in them? The first step in developing healthy relationships is making that commitment to invest and following through.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.

Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalogue when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!

Resources from this Episode

Unstoppable Coaching Program

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Victoria Medvec | Master Negotiation By Avoiding These 3 Traps

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2021 Year in Review and Behind the Scenes Dec 27, 2021

In today’s episode, we cover what we learned in 2021.

2021 was a wild ride for everyone, so let’s take a moment to reflect on what we’ve learned, overcome, and how far we’ve come.

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00

What was the most powerful takeaway for negotiating we heard from our guests?
What simple and effective strategy can you use to make healthy habits much easier to adopt?

Asking for help doesn’t need to be hard – 20:00
What simple mental switch can you flip to make asking for help a positive experience for both people?

What proven strategies can you use to better manage your anxiety on a daily basis?
Why is the pursuit of balance the wrong goal to chase if you want to be successful?

How do AJ and Johnny decide how to interview each guest – 37:01
What can you do to prepare a solid interview experience for anyone you have on a podcast?

What have AJ, Johnny, and coach Michael done and learned over the last year and what can you take away from their lessons?

The podcast has had some amazing guests over the last year. Let’s take a minute to highlight all the game changing tips, tricks, and strategies we’ve learned in 2021.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.

Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalogue when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!

Resources from this Episode

Katy Milkman | Eliminate Unhealthy Habits Today with 3 Scientifically Proven Strategies

Dr. Caroline Leaf | The Secret to Cleaning Up Your Mental Mess & 5 Steps to Healing Grief

Joe Navarro | Become an Exceptional Communicator by Mastering These 5 Traits

Tim Grover | Achieve Superhuman Focus by Annihilating Distractions

Erica Dhawan | Communicate Powerfully by Mastering Digital Body Language

Carey Nieuwhof | Incredible Productivity and Never Burn Out

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

The Top 10 Gifts You Should NEVER Give

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John Ruhlin | How to Maximize Your Gift Giving Dec 20, 2021

In today’s episode, we cover the art of gift giving with John Ruhlin. John Ruhlin is the founder and CEO of Ruhlin Group, the master of building businesses by giving gifts, and the author of Giftology: The Art and Science of Using Gifts to Cut Through the Noise, Increase Referrals, and Strengthen Retention.

Giving the right gift can radically strengthen any personal or business relationship, but what questions should you ask when thinking about the right gift for someone, what gifts should you avoid at all cost, and when is the right time to give a gift?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00

Who do people often overlook when it comes to building and maintaining relationships?
What can you do to make gift giving feel less like a transaction and more like a natural part of relationship building?
How can you make gift giving a game changer for all of your personal and professional relationships?

The secret to giving gifts that change your life – 13:17

How much money should you set aside for giving gifts every year and why do you need to plan for it?

What is the ultimate recipe for gift giving and what should you think about when giving gifts?

Examples of business changing gifts – 26:23

What crucial questions should you think about when personalizing a gift for someone?

How should you start giving gifts if it’s not something you’re used to doing?
What types of gifts should you never send?

Tips for personal gift giving – 45:36
What gifts can you give to deepen your personal relationships?

The right gift can change someone’s life and create a memory that will last forever. But how can you figure out what that gift might be? For one, it must be meaningful to the receiver, and what things in a person’s life are likely to be the most meaningful? In many cases, it’s our values and our families, so think about how you might personalize an item that person uses or sees everyday and incorporate something related to their values or family. An example? How about a knife set in which each knife is engraved with a different favorite quote of theirs.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.

Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalogue when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!

Resources from this Episode

John Ruhlin’s website

Giftology website

Giftology: The Art and Science of Using Gifts to Cut Through the Noise, Increase Referrals, and Strengthen Retention by Josh Ruhlin

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

The Great Good Place: Cafes, Coffee Shops, Bookstores, Bars, Hair Salons, and Other Hangouts at the Heart of a Community by Ray Oldenburg

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Toolbox | Moving to a new city (social breakthrough strategy) Dec 13, 2021

In today’s episode, we cover moving to a new city with AJ, Johnny, and Michael.

Moving to a new city can often feel like a scary or intimidating life event, but it doesn’t have to—so why does moving feel like a bad thing, what can you do to look at moving as an exciting opportunity, and what can you do to make sure you live a fulfilling life no matter where you go?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00

What should you NOT do if you want to create a new life when moving to a new city?
What can you do to meet new people in a city before you move there?

Third Place: what is it and why do we need it? – 11:41
What is the “third place” and why is it important for the health and strength of every community and its residents?

What is the most important factor in a communal meeting place within your community?

How to find (or create) your third place – 21:56
What easy exercise can you do today to find a great place to meet new people who share your interests and are open to meeting new people?

Where can you look to experience your city from a different perspective that makes it easy to meet new people?

Meeting people made easy – 36:40
Why is it important to have missions in life and what missions can you give yourself with to make it easy to build a social circle anywhere in the world?

Moving to a new city can be scary when you don’t know anyone there, but it doesn’t have to be. There are several things you can do to make the process of building a social circle or professional network from scratch easy. Start by making a list of hobbies or interests you enjoy and look for opportunities to engage in those activities in the city you’re moving to.

Be sure to grab a copy of our Move To A New City Checklist: https://theartofcharm.com/newcity

A Word From Our Sponsors

Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.

Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalogue when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!

Resources from this Episode

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Dr Kristin Neff’s website

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Dr. Kristin Neff | Defeat Your Inner Critic With Self-Compassion Dec 06, 2021

In today’s episode, we cover self-compassion with Dr Kristin Neff. Kristin received her doctorate from the University of California at Berkeley, is a pioneer in the field of self-compassion research, and is releasing her new book Fierce Self-Compassion: How Women Can Harness Kindness to Speak Up, Claim Their Power and Thrive.

Self-compassion is the key to stop your inner critic in its tracks, but what is self-compassion, why is it important to be happy, and what can you do to develop a strong sense of self-compassion?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00

What are the three elements of self-compassion and how can you use self-compassion to improve your daily life?
What are the warning signs you need self-compassion and what ways can you apply self-compassion?
Why is it easier to show compassion toward others and not ourselves?

Exercises to Strengthen Self-Compassion – 18:22
What simple exercises can you use right now to show yourself more compassion and stop being so hard on yourself?

What can you do to work on mindfulness?

Setting and Maintaining Boundaries – 27:10
Why are boundaries important in developing your self-compassion?

How can you set boundaries and learn how to say no while showing compassion and self-compassion?

Perfectionism and Self-Compassion – 39:00
What can you do to manage your perfectionism with self-compassion so you can stop beating yourself up over mistakes and failures?

If you struggle with accepting your mistakes and failures, self-compassion is your key to developing a healthy relationship with your imperfect self. We all make mistakes, but for some reason we are much better at showing compassion to the people we care about than ourselves. Cultivating a practice of self-compassion can change that and allow you to be kind to yourself while still pushing yourself to keep improving.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.

Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalogue when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!

Resources from this Episode

Fierce Self-Compassion by Dr Kristin Neff

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

The Sweet Spot: The Pleasures of Suffering and the Search for Meaning

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Paul Bloom | To Live a Fulfilling Life Nov 29, 2021

In today’s episode, we cover the pursuit of meaning with Paul Bloom. Paul is Professor of Psychology at the University of Toronto, Professor Emeritus of Psychology at Yale University, is the author of six books including his newest book, The Sweet Spot: The Pleasures of Suffering and the Search for Meaning.

The pursuit of meaning is often overshadowed by the pursuit of happiness, but which one is more important to living a fulfilling life, how are suffering, meaning, and happiness related, and what steps can you take to pursue meaning in your life?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00

How does science define suffering and why is some good while some is bad?
Why do we seek out sorrow, suffering, and pain in experiences like spicy food, roller coasters, scary movies, etc?

Pursuit of Happiness vs Pursuit of Meaning – 11:40
How does pain lead to an increased sense of meaning in life?
How does money influence our suffering and happiness?
Why are people in rich countries generally happy while people in poor countries have more meaning in life?
What can you do to help your children understand the difference between happiness and meaning in life?

A fulfilling existence is not just about positive feelings – 31:56
Why is it important to embrace painful experiences on a regular basis?

How can you find meaning in life without thinking about it or intentionally seeking it out?
Is there a link between chasing prestige, status, and meaning?
What is the difference between pursuing pleasure and pursuing meaning?
How can anxiety prevent you from finding meaning in life and what can you do to overcome it?

It is unfortunate that we put so much effort into avoiding pain, discomfort, and suffering. It is understandable from a short term perspective because it is natural for anything that feels pain to avoid things that cause pain. But it is the pain, discomfort, and suffering in our lives that leads to us learning and becoming stronger, wiser, more competent humans. This is not to say you should go outside and break your arm, but that pain is inevitable, and if we can learn to embrace it and work through it, those efforts will pay off much more in the long run than simply trying to be comfortable and safe as much as possible.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.

Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalogue when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!

Resources from this Episode

Paul Bloom’s website

Paul Bloom on Twitter

Master Your Mindset with David Goggings | AoC Podcast

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

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Katy Milkman | How to Change Your Behavior Nov 22, 2021

In today’s episode, we cover how to change with Katy Milkman. Katy is a professor at The Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania, host of Charles Schwab’s popular behavioral economics podcast Choiceology, and the former president of the international Society for Judgment and Decision Making.

Making long lasting changes in our behavior can be difficult, so what mindsets help us to make changes, what can you do to overcome low confidence when making big changes, and how do you overcome procrastination so you don’t keep putting off the life you want?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00

What mindsets are best suited to achieving long lasting results when attempting to change something about yourself?

Overcoming low confidence when making big changes – 14:00
What can you do if you don’t feel confident in your ability to improve yourself or make a big change in your life?
What can you do to create accountability in you and your friends’ lives?
What simple and powerful tip can you implement to make hard habits easier to form?

Strategies for overcoming procrastination – 25:00
What strategies can you implement to overcome procrastination?

How can you set up your life so it makes it easier for you to make better decisions for yourself?

It’s not easy to make long-lasting improvements in our lives. Fortunately, there is plenty of science to show us different ways to make those improvements easier, whether it’s relying on friends for accountability, associating the behavior change with a positive activity you enjoy, or even different ways of punishing yourself for not following through with your commitments.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.

Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalogue when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!

Resources from this Episode

Katy Milkman’s website

How to Change: The Science of Getting from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be by Katy Milkman

Stickk website

Beeminder website

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

You Are What You Click Personality Quiz

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Brian Primack | Social Media Mental Health Nov 15, 2021

In today’s episode, we cover social media’s impact on mental health with Dr Brian Primack. Brian is the dean of the College of Education and Health Professions at the University of Arkansas, the professor of public health and medicine, and is the author of You Are What You Click: How Being Selective, Positive, and Creative Can Transform Your Social Media Experience.

Science is showing us that social media use in any dose can have detrimental effects on our mental health, so what can we do to ensure we have a positive experience on social media and protect ourselves and those we care about its effects?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00

What amount of social media use won’t increase the risk for mental health issues?

Social Media vs Traditional Media – 11:37
What does “You are what you click” mean?
How are social media algorithms working against your mental health and what can you do about it?
What are the two things we can control while using social media that limit the harm it does to us?

Do different platforms have different impacts? – 21:47
Does the number of social media platforms you use impact your risk for mental health issues?

What can you do to have a positive experience on social media so you’re not negatively impacting your mental health every time you log in?
How much impact does social media use have on your quality of sleep and what can you do about it?

The damage of constantly comparing yourself to others – 31:00
Why is it bad for you to constantly be looking at the highlight reels of other people's lives and what strategies can you use to overcome the harm?

What effect do parasocial relationships have on your mental health?

Social media, misinformation, and disinformation – 42:17
How do the algorithms used by social media lead to drastically different perceptions of who you know and the world around you?

What can we do to guard our own mental health as well as the people we care about who aren’t aware of the dangers of social media use?

The simplest way to prevent the harm done to us by social media use is to stop using social media altogether. But that’s easier said than done for many people, so what can you do if eliminating social media from your life isn’t feasible?

A Word From Our Sponsors

Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.

Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalogue when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!

Resources from this Episode

You Are What You Click by Brian Primack

Brian Primack’s website

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

You Can Change Other People by Peter Bregman

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Peter Bregman | How to Get the Most Value Out of Your Team Nov 08, 2021

In today’s episode, we cover changing ourselves and others with Peter Bregman. Peter blends his deep expertise in business, leadership, and people to deliver quantifiable results in business, professional, and personal development, and is the bestselling author and contributor of over 18 books, including his newest book, You CAN Change Other People: The Four Steps to Help Your Colleagues, Employees—Even Family—Up Their Game.

Changing other people is not easy, but there are steps we can take to make positive changes in other peoples’ lives and do so in a high value cooperative way, so why do people resist change so much, what are the four things anyone needs before they will change, and how do approach people about making a change without coming across as the critic or the bad guy?

What to Listen For

Why do we struggle so much trying to change people – 1:53

Why do we readily accept changes we make for ourselves but strongly resist changes that other people try to make for us?
What is the most important skill you can develop as a leader in your organization?
What are the misconceptions we have about changing ourselves and people around us?

The 4 things people need before they’ll change – 8:30
What gets in the way of people making changes in their lives and how can we help them make the changes they want?
What emotion do we experience that makes it so much harder for us to change?

Strategies to manage emotions in high pressure situations – 30:31
How do you approach helping people improve themselves so you are viewed as a friend or ally rather than the enemy?

Indicators of a thorough plan for implementing change – 46:13
What can you do to implement change in your organization if you are not yet in an official leadership position?

Changing other people is not easy, and that’s a good thing. If it were easy to change other people, that would make it easy for other people to change you. As individuals, we cherish our autonomy. We value our ability to be ourselves and resist the changes other people want us to make. With that said, none of us is perfect and we all have areas in our lives that could be improved and make our lives better. But in order for us to be open to allowing other people to help change us, there are four things we need. Once we have all four, we can come up with a plan and be held accountable by someone other than ourselves.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.

Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalogue when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!

Resources from this Episode

Bregman Partners website

Peter Bregman on LinkedIn

Peter Bregman on Twitter

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

The 7 Signs of Toxic People (Cheat Sheet)

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Toolbox | 7 Simple Ways to Identify Toxic Relationships and 5 Powerful Tips to Remove Them Nov 01, 2021

In today’s episode, we cover toxic relationships with AJ, Johnny, and Michael.

Toxic relationships can suck the joy and satisfaction out of our lives, so what can you do to recognize the toxic relationships in your life, what can you do to remove them, and what traits should you look for when bringing new people into your life?

What to Listen For

What makes a toxic person toxic – 0:00

What one question can you ask yourself to determine if someone in your life is toxic?
What situations draw out toxic people in our lives and how can we recognize them when they show themselves?

Identifying toxic people in your life – 11:49
What simple methods can you use to identify toxic relationships in your life?
How can your own self-awareness help you recognize why you are surrounding yourself with certain people?
What can you do to support friends and family who have different values than you?

The 7 signs of toxic people – 22:44
What are the 3 ways toxic people will try to control you and stop you from pursuing your goals?

What are 4 ways your generosity can be taken advantage of by toxic individuals?

The 3 high value traits of non-toxic people – 51:03
What traits should you look for in potential friends and professional connections?

Removing toxic people from your life – 54:54
What are 5 ways to remove toxic people from your life?

Loneliness and toxic relationships have been on the rise over the last couple of decades. But what does it mean for a relationship to be toxic? The easiest way is to ask yourself, “Is this person taking away happiness or purpose from my life?” Now, no one is perfect so there might be moments when you feel that way about a person, but if you feel that way consistently about someone, it’s time to see if their behavior is on our list of 7 traits of toxic people and then determine how you want to handle it.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.

Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalogue when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!

Resources from this Episode

Michael Herold’s TEDx Talk

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Dr Wendy Suzuki’s website

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Dr. Wendy Suzuki | Take Charge of Your Anxiety Today Using These 5 Time-tested Tactics Oct 25, 2021

In today’s episode, we cover anxiety with Dr Wendy Suzuki. Dr Suzuki is a professor of neural science and psychology at the New York University’s Center for Neural Science, and the author of “Healthy Brain, Happy Life: A Personal Program to to Activate Your Brain and Do Everything Better” and her newest book, “Good Anxiety: Harnessing the Power of the Most Misunderstood Emotion.”

Anxiety is typically something we try to avoid, but why do we avoid it, what does science tell us about anxiety, and how can we use anxiety to our advantage?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 2:35

What is good anxiety and how do you recognize when anxiety is good or bad for you?
How do you recognize when the anxiety you’re experiencing is bad enough that you should seek help?
What behaviors might you be exhibiting that make your anxiety worse?

Relationships and their impact on our anxiety – 11:32
How do your relationships impact your anxiety and what can you do to mitigate that impact?
What simple exercise can you do anywhere to get a handle on your everyday anxiety?
How can you use small rituals and habits to stop your anxiety from ruining your daily activities and responsibilities?

Conquering anxiety – 27:12
What can you do if your anxiety is stopping you from falling asleep at night?

What simple mental exercises can you use to diffuse your anxiety so it doesn’t have such a strong influence on your life?
How can you prepare for social events so your anxiety doesn’t ruin the event for you?

Managing anxiety in loved ones – 39:30
What can you do as parents if you are concerned about anxiety in your children?

What do many of us do to make our anxiety worse when we believe it’s actually making our anxiety better?

We tend to place anxiety into a category of emotions we try to avoid. While you can experience anxiety that is so bad it warrants professional help, the anxiety most of us deal with on a daily basis can be embraced for what it can teach us about ourselves and the people around us. If you want to better manage your anxiety, start by looking at it from a place of curiosity and creativity. Next time you’re experiencing anxiety, take a moment to ask yourself where the anxiety is coming from. The more you can look at your anxiety objectively, the faster it will subside and be manageable.

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Resources from this Episode

Good Anxiety: Harnessing the Power of the Most Misunderstood Emotion

Healthy Brain, Happy Life: A Personal Program to to Activate Your Brain and Do Everything Better

Dr Wendy Suzuki on Twitter

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

You Have More Influence Than You Think by Vanessa Bohns

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Vanessa Bohns | Amplify Your Influence Using These 3 Simple Strategies Oct 18, 2021

In today’s episode, we cover influence with Professor Vanessa Bohns. Vanessa is a social psychologist, an award-winning researcher and teacher, and a professor of organizational behavior at Cornell University.

We all have the ability to influence those around us to some degree, so what can you do to understand your influence, grow your influence, and use your influence to help you achieve your goals?

What to Listen For

Intro and Vanessa’s origin story – 0:00

What do many of us get wrong about our influence over others, the perception others have of us, and how much other people actually like us?
Why do we always feel like everyone is watching when we feel embarrassed?
What is the spotlight effect?

How to start recognizing your influence – 13:34
What can you do to overcome the limiting beliefs you might have about how much influence you actually have?
What can you do as an introvert to feel confident and comfortable in situations where you know it’s going to be uncomfortable?

Being more genuine during the chaos of cancel culture – 24:30
What can we do to be more comfortable being genuine when people are scared to say the wrong thing?

What can we do to counter those who want to use their power and influence against us if we are trying to be more open and trusting of others?

What can you do to overcome your fear of rejection?

Learning to say no – 36:16
How do you learn to say no to someone who is in a position of power or authority over you?

Our common misconceptions about influence – 44:25
Why and how do we underestimate the compounding effect of our individual influence outside of the people we interact with directly?

How do we view our influence compared to how our influence actually works on people around us?

We often underestimate the impact we have on the people around us because of our misconceptions about how influence works. We get caught up in thinking influence is our ability to directly influence a person’s actions with our words, but in reality we influence the people around us in small amounts over extended periods of time.

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Resources from this Episode

Vannesa Bohns’s website

Vanessa Bohns on Twitter

The invisibility cloak illusion: People (incorrectly) believe they observe others more than others observe them

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Compassionate Mind Collaborative website

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Chris Fraser & Dr. Isabelle Leboeuf | Conquer Your Anger by Implementing This Simple Exercise Oct 11, 2021

In today’s episode, we cover anger management with Dr. Isabelle Leboeuf and Chris Fraser. Dr. Leboeuf integrates hypnotherapy, cognitive behavioural therapy, and compassion-focused therapy in her private practice in the North of France. Chris has been helping children, individuals, and families to be the best versions of themselves for over 25 years, and co-authored the book Freedom: How Teens Can Use Mindful Compassion to Thrive in a Chaotic World and Grow a Purpose-driven Life.

Anger is an emotion we all experience throughout life, but how we respond to it makes all the difference in the world, so what even is anger, how should we look at it, and what are some healthy strategies for dealing with intense emotions like anger?

What to Listen For

Relationship between self-compassion and anger – 2:06

Is there a difference between the anger we feel toward others versus the anger we feel toward ourselves?

Healthy strategies to process and work through anger – 11:00
What exercises should you use to work through anger and what should you avoid doing when you’re angry?
What is the difference between compassion and self-compassion?
What three words can you tell yourself to alleviate strong feelings of anger or frustration you’re experiencing?

Is self-compassion just being easy on yourself? – 20:25
What are the three components of self-compassion?

Defining and discovering core values – 29:00
How can you use negative and positive emotions to help you figure out what your core values are?

Learning from compassion-focused therapy – 35:18
What can you learn from compassion-focused therapy to equip you with the tools to better handle intense emotional states so you don’t do something in the moment that you’ll regret?

A full human life is arguably one in which you experience the entire spectrum of human emotions, positive and negative. Negative in this case can be interpreted as the opposite of what we think of as positive emotions, but it doesn’t mean a negative emotion is bad or should be avoided. As a society, we generally look down on or seek to avoid negative emotions such as anger and frustration, which can then lead us to not teach kids how to properly manage their anger. And a lack of anger management within an entire population will spell disaster for an entire generation that is not equipped to process and deal with their emotions in a healthy manner.

A Word From Our Sponsors

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Resources from this Episode

Freedom: How Teens Can Use Mindful Compassion to Thrive in a Chaotic World and Grow a Purpose-driven Life by Chris Fraser

Dr. Isabelle’s website

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Peak Mind: Find Your Focus, Own Your Attention, Invest 12 Minutes a Day

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Dr. Amishi Jha | Turbocharge Your Focus by Using This Simple 12 Minute Mindfulness Practice Oct 04, 2021

In today’s episode, we cover focus and attention with Dr. Amishi Jha. Dr. Amishi Jha received her Ph.D. from the University of California–Davis, is a professor of psychology at the University of Miami, and is the Cofounder and Director of Contemplative Neuroscience for the Mindfulness Research and Practice Initiative.

It seems like our attention spans are getting shorter every year, but are they really, what can we do to improve our ability to focus, and how do we deal with the countless entities always clawing for our attention everywhere we look?

What to Listen For

Introduction and Dr. Amishi’s origin story – 9:00

How does meditation better equip us to deal with everything that is fighting for our attention in daily life?

What is attention and why should we care? – 19:24
What are the three components of attention and how do mindfulness practices influence our ability to pay attention?
What mindfulness exercise can you start doing now to begin seeing the benefits of meditation?
Are our attention spans actually getting shorter?
How do we use our brain to combat our own lack of attention or focus?

The Finder Flashlight Practice for developing focus – 31:20
What can you do to help your children learn to pay attention and focus?

What advantages do people with ADD/ADHD have that people without it don’t have?

Improving focus while living under a lot of stress – 48:50
What 12-minute exercise can you do on a daily basis to boost your ability to focus, even in high stress, high demand situations and environments?

Our ability to focus on something for an extended period of time is one of the significant differences between humans and other animals. However, like other animals we can easily be distracted and lose that focus. So what can we do in today’s world where everything in our daily lives is fighting for our attention? We can start by meditating (or implementing a similarly effective mindfulness practice) that can help us cultivate a sense of awareness that isn’t so reactive and easily distracted.

A Word From Our Sponsors

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Resources from this Episode

Dr. Amishi’s website

How to Tame Your Wandering Mind (TED Talk by Dr. Amishi)

Dr. Amishi on Twitter

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

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Toolbox | Unlock Your Inner Super Connector by Growing Your Social Capital Sep 27, 2021

In today’s episode, we cover networking with AJ, Johnny, and Michael.

Many of us don’t realize there is more to networking than simply showing up to events and introducing, so what kind of preparation should go into networking events, how do you know what value you have to offer those you meet, and how can you use digital platforms to be the super connector no one forgets?

What to Listen For

Intro to networking and Coach Michael’s recruitment – 0:00

What common misconceptions do people have about networking and interacting with people in your network?
What 3 questions can you ask yourself to prevent you from wasting a life-changing networking opportunity?

Networking hurdles and overcoming them – 9:50
What does science say about why so many of us feel uncomfortable about networking and what can we do about it?
When and where should you avoid networking?
Why is networking about more than just career development?

Social capital and networking – 21:15
What are the 3 components of social capital and why do you need to know your social capital if you want to network effectively?

What are the 2 strategies to networking and why do you need a mix of both in order to be successful at networking?

Effective networking in the digital era – 34:50
What tips can you start using today to build an amazing network and connect with people you look up to?

Why is it important to know your WHY when it comes to networking?
What is the best way to introduce two people in your network?
What are the best practices for following up with people you meet at a networking event (and what should you avoid doing)?

Many of us view networking events as isolated opportunities to meet new people in which you only have the event itself to make new connections. The most effective networkers, however, know that is inefficient because that’s when everyone else is trying to do the same. Great networkers utilize the time before and after the events to start and strengthen new relationships. This can be as easy as messaging the attendees and speakers on LinkedIn before an event letting them know you are looking forward to meeting them and/or hearing their presentations.

A Word From Our Sponsors

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Resources from this Episode

Professional Networking Makes People Feel Dirty (HBS Article)

Susan McPherson | Effortlessly Build a World-Class Network by Using These 5 Tips (AOC Podcast Episode)

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

The Carey Nieuwhof Leadership Podcast

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Carey Nieuwhof | Incredible Productivity and Never Burn Out Sep 20, 2021

In today’s episode, we cover peak performance and burnout with Carey Nieuwhof. Carey is the author of the best selling “Didn't See It Coming: Overcoming the Seven Greatest Challenges That No One Expects and Everyone Experiences” and the host of one of our favorite podcasts, The Carey Nieuwhof Leadership Podcast.

Introduction

With all of the pressure to increase output and creativity these days, burn out is a real threat, so what are the warning signs you’re entering a dangerous burn out cycle, how can you avoid it, and how can you improve your skill set without risking burn out?

What to Listen For

Introduction and Carey’s history with burnout – 2:00

How do you manage the risks of burnout when building a business or focusing on your career?

What does it mean to be at your best? – 14:10
What is one of the biggest myths about building a fulfilling career and life?
What forms does burnout take and how can you recognize when you need help?

The stress spiral and how to avoid it – 25:09
What are the warning signs you are stuck in the destructive stress spiral?

What are the three types of energy zones we all have in a day and how do you identify them so you know when to do your best work and when to avoid doing work?

Always be working on your gifts and skills – 43:45
How do world-class performers work to improve their talents and abilities?

What do many of us allow our lives to be filled with that we should be saying no to?
What exercise can you use to easily structure your week ahead of time so you don’t end up feeling overwhelmed or burned out?
Why should you set goals for yourself if you want to learn how to start saying no effortlessly?

If you are feeling burnt out at work, it might have less to do with how much you’re working and more to do with when you’re trying to work. It has been shown that humans have a specific window of peak energy during the day, and if you try to push yourself too far outside of that window, the effects can be detrimental to your productivity as well as your physical and mental health. By structuring your day around your individual peak window, you can revitalize your passion and productivity while easily saying no to work and appointments that don’t serve you.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 13,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Resources from this Episode

At Your Best: How to Get Time, Energy, and Priorities Working in Your Favor by Carey Nieuwhof

Didn't See It Coming: Overcoming the Seven Greatest Challenges That No One Expects and Everyone Experiences by Carey Nieuwhof

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Brett Hagler on Instagram

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Brett Hagler | How to Dream Big and Fight Off Limiting Beliefs Sep 13, 2021

In today’s episode, we cover finding your life mission and turning it into a business with Brett Hagler. Brett is the CEO and Co-Founder of New Story, a Y Combinator graduate, and a cancer survivor recognized on Forbes’ 30 Under 30 list, named one of the Top 100 Most Intriguing Entrepreneurs by Goldman Sachs, and his company was named among Fast Company’s “Most Innovative Companies in the World” four different times.

It’s no easy task to decide on a life mission, so what can you do figure out what yours is, why is it important to find work you’re passionate about or at least interested in, and how should you handle risk-taking and failure when pursuing a business idea that goes against the grain of mainstream thinking?

What to Listen For

What is New Story and why should you know about it? – 2:04

How did Brett Hagler realize solving homelessness is his life mission?
What can you do to figure out what your life mission is?

Why you should strive to do work you’re passionate about – 17:05
What hidden price do we pay for doing work we don’t find interesting or exciting?
How can 3D printing be used to solve homelessness around the world?
What’s it like going through Y-Combinator as a non-profit organization?
How affordable will 3D-printed houses be and how soon will you be able to buy one?

Building a base of loyal customers when starting a business – 33:50
What can you do to build a genuine connection with your customers when first starting a business that will set you apart from your competitors?

How do you overcome self doubt when trying something new or experiencing success for the first time?
What counterintuitive advice should you think about when starting and scaling a business if you don’t want to lose your best talent to your competition?

Key strategies for handling failures in business – 47:50
What are the two ways to approach risk-taking when running a business and why should you avoid one?

What are some of New Story’s greatest success stories?

It’s true that the journey to finding your life mission is not easy. But if you want to be successful, it's worth taking the time and effort to find what you are passionate about—or at very least interested in doing. When starting a business for yourself, make sure you properly connect with your customers by providing them high-quality products they can't get anywhere else. And when failure strikes (and it will), use a few key strategies to handle tough times until better days come around again. Remember, "failure is just another word for opportunity."

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 13,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Resources from this Episode

Brett Hagler’s website

Brett Hagler on LinkedIn

Brett Hagler on Twitter

New Story website

New Story on YouTube

New Story on Instagram

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Jonathan Horowitz on LinkedIn

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Jonathan Horowitz | Overcome Chronic Stress by Implementing 3 Easy Daily Activities Sep 06, 2021

In today’s episode, we cover stress and anxiety with Dr. Jonathan Horowitz. Jonathan Horowitz received his Ph.D. in clinical psychology, and is the CEO and founder of the San Francisco Stress and Anxiety Center where he helps people manage and overcome stress.

Science is showing us that we are dealing with increased levels of stress and anxiety thanks to the pandemic, so what can you do to prevent your stress and anxiety from overwhelming you, how can you prevent burnout, and when do you know it’s time to seek professional help?

What to Listen For

Dr. Jonathan Horowitz’s origin story – 2:06

How easily can other people tell when you’re feeling nervous or anxious in a conversation?
How does perfectionism get in the way of you achieving your goals and what can you do to move past it?
Can you control whether or not people like you?

Warning signs you’re not adequately managing stress – 22:40
What can you do to better manage your stress levels so it doesn’t damage your health and relationships?
How does stress impact your ability to be creative and an effective problem solver?
What can you do to help manage the stress of working from home and not having a clear distinction between home and work?

Preventing burnout by practicing self-care – 37:56
What small but meaningful exercises can you do in your daily life to better take care of yourself so you don’t get overwhelmed by stress?

What should you avoid doing if you don’t want to get overwhelmed by stress?
How has our social anxiety been impacted by COVID and the lockdown and what can we do about it?
How do you know when you should see a therapist?

While short periods of stress (like exercise or solving a difficult problem) can provide countless benefits to our physical and mental wellbeing, long periods of chronic stress can have detrimental effects on our minds and bodies. But what can you do about it when it seems like being stressed out is normal? It comes down to small daily habits that any of us can implement in our lives because we all have a few minutes to spare to take better care of ourselves.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 13,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Resources from this Episode

San Francisco Stress and Anxiety Center

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Anne-Maartje Oud on Twitter

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Anne-Maartje Oud | Make Powerful First Impressions By Mastering These Body Language Hacks Aug 30, 2021

In today’s episode, we cover negotiation with Anne-Maartje Oud. Anne is a behavioral advisor, trainer, and the CEO & founder of The Behaviour Company based in Amsterdam.

Your behavior plays an essential role in getting your message across, so what can you do to make sure your message doesn’t get lost, why is emotional validation crucial if you want to be a great leader, and how should you prepare for and handle conflict in the workplace?

What to Listen For

The biggest myths about reading body language – 1:30

What can reading body language tell you about someone and what can it NOT tell you?
What questions can you ask yourself to find out what external and internal factors might be influencing your body language?
What can you do if you are over analyzing your communication to the detriment of your relationships and career?

The brain-body connection and how you feel – 18:05
What are easy ways you can convey trustworthiness in the workplace?
What changes can you make to boost the effectiveness of your speaking and presentation style through Zoom?
What are pacifying behaviors and why do we need to be on the lookout for them when talking to someone or a group of people?

The importance of validation in the workplace – 36:46
What is emotional validation and why do you need to have a handle on it if you want to be an effective leader?

What kind of feedback should you avoid giving if you want to lead your team effectively?

DOs and DON'Ts of dealing with conflict in the workplace – 46:30

What are the 4 ways people use to deal with conflict and which ways should you avoid if you don’t want to lose your relationships?
What can you do to prepare yourself emotionally for a difficult conversation or confrontation so you don’t lose your cool when it matters?
What advice surrounding body language should you avoid at all cost?

A person’s body language communicates a great deal about the person, but it’s not magic. In order to effectively understand body language, it’s important to dispel some of the myths surrounding body language so you know its limits. Body language can give you a glimpse into what a person might be feeling at that moment, but it cannot tell you what they’re thinking.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 13,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Resources from this Episode

Anne-Maartje Oud on LinkedIn

Art of Charm podcast with Joe Navarro

The Importance of Validation by Joe Navarro, Anne-Maartje Oud

Dangerous Personalities by Joe Navarro

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Medvec & Associates: Critical Decision and Negotiation Partners website

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Victoria Medvec | Master Negotiation By Avoiding These 3 Traps Aug 23, 2021

In today’s episode, we cover negotiation with Dr. Victoria Medvec. Dr. Medvec a master negotiator, Kellogg professor, CEO of Medvec & Associates, and is the author of Negotiate Without Fear: Strategies and Tools to Maximize Your Outcomes.

Negotiating is a part of life, personally and professionally, so how should we be looking at it, how can we remove the fear and anxiety from negotiating, and what strategies can you implement from a professional negotiator to take your negotiating skills to the next level?

What to Listen For

Dr. Victoria Medvec’s origin story – 1:35

What do great negotiators enjoy about the act of negotiating?
What are the biggest fears people have about negotiating that prevent them from getting what they deserve and what can you do to overcome those fears?
What is the most important element of effective negotiation and how can you use it to overcome your fears of negotiating?

Creating win-win negotiation outcomes – 12:59
How can you think about future negotiations in a way that makes both parties excited about the outcome?
What questions can you ask in a negotiation to get a better understanding of what the other party is looking to get out of the negotiation?
What does it mean to prepare for a negotiation and how can you show the other party during the negotiation that you’ve put in the work ahead of time?

Common traps many expert negotiators fall into – 23:07
What are the 3 most common traps experienced negotiators fall into and what can you do to avoid falling into those traps?

How do you bring creativity into negotiating to ensure both parties walk away from the negotiation with a win?
Why are emotion and storytelling important in the art of negotiation?

Managing emotions during negotiations – 37:00

What 4 steps can you take to manage the emotions during negotiations to prevent them from ruining a deal and making you and/or your company look bad?
How do you effectively negotiate your salary to get what you deserve while also giving the company a positive outcome?
How do different generations view negotiation and why is it important?
What are

We typically associate the word “negotiation” with negotiating a raise or negotiating the price of a car, but in reality just about anything can be negotiated. Unfortunately, many of us never try to negotiate because negotiating seems intimidating, or we just assume the price or cost of something is set in stone. If you want to get what you deserve out of life, no one is going to give it to you, you must be willing to know your worth and ask for it.

A Word From Our Sponsors

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Resources from this Episode

Negotiate Without Fear by Victoria Medvec

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Charisma: An Ill-Defined and Ill-Measured Gift

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Toolbox | Unlock Your Charisma by Focusing on These 3 Traits Aug 16, 2021

In today’s episode, we cover charisma with AJ, Johnny, and Michael.

Charisma can make the difference between a fulfilling life and a depressing lonely existence, but what actually is charisma, why is it so powerful, and how can you develop it to bring out the best in you and the people around you?

What to Listen For

What is charisma? – 1:10

How does science define and perceive charisma?
What is it about charismatic leaders that makes them stand out and what can you learn from them?
Can charisma be learned?

The importance of being present – 11:02
What are the three internal dials you can play with in order to figure out the level of charisma best suited for your personality?
What does it mean to be present and why is it important if you want to be charismatic?

Turning up your enthusiasm – 26:30
What do many people get wrong about enthusiasm and what does it mean to live with more enthusiasm?

What simple changes can you make right now to be more enthusiastic in your interactions with other people?
What easy steps can you take to increase your enthusiasm and put you in a better mood?

Confidence is the key to unlocking your potential – 40:15

When is confidence most useful and why do those times also allow you to strengthen your confidence?

Charisma might feel like something a person just has, but like many traits, it can be broken down into easily understood components. Once you understand what those components are, you can then take steps to develop them and allow your personality to shine by being a more charismatic version of yourself.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 13,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Resources from this Episode

Skills vs. Attributes: What Should You Focus On

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Dr. Johannes Mallow’s website

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Dr. Johannes Mallow | Boost Your Memory By Using These Ancient Techniques Aug 09, 2021

In today’s episode, we cover memory improvement and competition with Dr. Johannes Mallow. Johannes is a 2-times World Memory Champion, completed a PhD thesis on the topic of Magnetic resonance imaging (MRI), and worked as a researcher and engineer at the University of Magdeburg.

Our ability to recall complex information is one of our defining characteristics as humans, but what do we get wrong about memory, what daily exercises can you perform to improve your memory, and what can you learn about memory from a memory world champion?

What to Listen For

Dr. Johannes Mallow’s journey into memory games – 1:46

What do people enjoy about memory competitions?
What exercises can you do to train your memory and improve it?
How does Dr. Johannes Mallow memorize a deck of cards in 20 seconds?

The science of memory vs the sport of memory – 14:35
What is the brain great at memorizing and how can you use that fact to avoid forgetting important information?
How does training for memory sports impact your memory in your day to day life?

Simple strategies for memorizing people’s names – 21:39
What can you do if you find yourself in a high pressure situation and you need to remember something but your mind goes blank?

What daily memory exercises can anyone perform to improve it?

Most common misconceptions about training memory – 39:06

Why should we be concerned about developing our memory when we have powerful devices at our fingertips to remember things for us?

The secret 2000 year old memory technique – 51:13

What is the memory palace technique and how can you use it to remember almost anything?
What is the keyword method and how can you use it to learn new languages?

Your memory is like a muscle. The more you train your ability to recall information, the better you will become at it. Humans have been working to improve their memory for thousands of years and have come up with some great techniques along the way, and if you have five minutes to spare each day, you can improve your memory so you stop forgetting names of people you just met, important upcoming events, and your anniversary!

A Word From Our Sponsors

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Resources from this Episode

The Caretaker - Everywhere At The End Of Time

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

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Joe Navarro | Become an Exceptional Communicator by Mastering These 5 Traits Aug 02, 2021

In today’s episode, we cover becoming exceptional with Joe Navarro. Joe is a retired FBI special agent and recognized as one of the world’s foremost authorities on reading nonverbal communication. He has co-authored many international best sellers including What Every Body is Saying, The Dictionary of Body Language, Advanced Interviewing Techniques, and his latest one, Be Exceptional: Master the Five Traits That Set Extraordinary People Apart.

Being an exceptional human doesn’t require anything out of the ordinary, but there are a handful of necessary traits to focus on if you want to be exceptional, so what are they and how do you develop them?

What to Listen For

What does it mean to be exceptional – 1:53

Why aren’t we taught how to be exceptional or charming when we’re growing up, and how can we learn to be so today?

The five traits of exceptional people – 15:21
What does self-mastery look like in today’s world and why is it important if you want to be exceptional at anything?
Why is the skill of observation important and what can you do to improve it?
What is more important to us than validation and why do we mistake it for seeking perfection?

The biggest misconception about giving validation – 38:30
Can you give validation to someone while also disagreeing with them?
How are validation and trust related?

Strategies to start divisive conversations on the right foot – 45:02

How do you have a productive conversation with someone who is clearly married to an ideology and doesn’t want to listen?
What simple exercise can you use to better understand yourself and your worldview?

Anyone can be exceptional, but not everyone is willing to understand what it takes and work at it. For example, being observant is a trait of exceptional people according to Joe Navarro, and being observant seems like a rather basic trait, doesn’t it? The problem is most people don’t think about or question what they observe. When most people think they’re being observant, they’re really just noticing something and instantly passing judgement on it.

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Resources from this Episode

Joe Navarro’s website

Be Exceptional by Joe Navarro

What Every BODY is Saying by Joe Navarro

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

McPherson Strategies website

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Susan McPherson | Effortlessly Build a World-Class Network by Using These 5 Tips Jul 26, 2021

In today’s episode, we cover human connection and networking with Susan McPherson. Susan has 25+ years of experience in marketing, public relations, and sustainability communications, and is the author of The Lost Art of Connecting: The Gather, Ask, Do Method for Building Meaningful Relationships.

As we emerge from lockdown, connecting and reconnecting can feel difficult, so what can you do to set yourself apart, forge lasting connections with those you meet, and reconnect with friends you haven’t spoken to in years?

What to Listen For

How lonely and disconnected are we according to science – 3:05

Why does negativity spread more on the internet than positivity?
What is the Gather, Ask, Do method and how can you use it to form stronger connections with the people around you?

The critical objective of today’s youth in a digital age – 14:38
What is the power of reciprocity and how can it help you grow an amazing network?
What questions can you ask if you genuinely want to help the people around you?
What questions should you avoid at all cost if you sincerely want to help people?

Tips for introverts to connect better – 28:24
What is pre-connecting and how can you use it to make networking easier and less stressful while also being more effective as an introvert?

What should you focus on when meeting people at networking events and what should you NOT focus on?
What tips can you use to reconnect with people after the pandemic/lockdown?

The big myths around connecting with others – 44:40

What simple tips can you use to amplify your effectiveness when meeting people and creating unforgettable first impressions?
What are the best five follow up tips when networking to make sure your hard work doesn’t go to waste?

Connecting with others is one of the key ways to get ahead. With the tips and strategies in this episode, you’ll create deep connections and your connections will multiply exponentially. Even as an introvert, you can forge lasting relationships and reconnect with old friends you haven’t spoken to in years. Take these lessons from our experts on how to become a force of nature who gets things done effortlessly while creating lifelong bonds along the way!

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Resources from this Episode

Susan McPherson on Twitter

Susan McPherson on LinkedIn

The Lost Art of Connecting by Susan McPherson

5 Ways to Listen Better TED Talk by Julian Treasure

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

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David Siegel | Build An Epic Social Circle Anywhere With This One Simple Platform Jul 19, 2021

In today’s episode, we talk about MeetUp with David Siegel. David is the CEO of MeetUp and the host of the new podcast Keep Connected.

People are feeling lonely now more than ever, so what can you do if you’re feeling lonely, where can you go to meet new friends who share your interests, and what is the cheat code to making new friends anywhere you go?

What to Listen For

How did the Art of Charm get started using MeetUp? – 2:50
When creating an account on MeetUp, should you try to join MeetUp groups or create/host your own?
Why are people suffering from loneliness now more than ever and what can you do about it?

The evolution of MeetUp through the pandemic – 10:51
How did the pandemic affect people’s willingness to meet up using sites like MeetUp?
Is it a good time to start attending events and MeetUp groups in person yet?

Are MeetUp groups welcoming to introverts? – 24:15
What kinds of MeetUp groups should an introvert attend and avoid?
Is MeetUp a good tool for professional networking?
What sports should you look into if you’re interested in trying something new and popular?
Can you find MeetUp groups that center around happiness and mental well-being?

The cheat code to meeting a lot of people – 43:52
What are 3 traits of the best organizers on MeetUp?
How do the best hosts on MeetUp provide great experiences for the attendees?
What are the 3 steps in giving value that solidify a connection with guests and members who attend your events?
What are the top 5 best practices in networking can you implement in your next MeetUp event?

In a post-COVID world, people are struggling to figure out ways to be social again and get a handle on the loneliness they experienced during the lockdown. What better way to do both than find a group of likeminded humans on a site like MeetUp? One of the major advantages MeetUp groups/events have for people who aren’t sure how to make friends is that MeetUp self-selects for people who are open to meeting new people. That means people who attend MeetUp groups are going to be friendly, welcoming, and approachable.

A Word From Our Sponsors

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Resources from this Episode

MeetUp

Keep Connected Podcast hosted by MeetUp CEO David Siegel

David Siegel on LinkedIn

David Siegel on Twitter

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

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Jeb Blount | Sell Yourself, Your Ideas and Your Work by Mastering These Techniques Jul 12, 2021

In today’s episode, we cover the mastery of sales with Jeb Blount. Jeb is the best-selling author of over 13 books and among the world’s most respected thought leaders on sales, leadership, and customer experience. He helps leaders to develop leadership and coaching skills and shows them how to apply a more effective organizational design and cultivate a high performance sales culture.

Sales is often considered a field for extroverts, so why do world-class salespeople consider introverts to have the greatest potential, what can you do as an introvert to become a great salesperson, and what is the biggest challenge introverts face in sales?

What to Listen For

How Jeb Blount get started in sales – 1:06

Can introverts be world-class performers in sales?

What are the three myths about sales? – 5:35

What are the five basic questions people ask themselves about you when talking to you?
What do so many people get wrong about being great at sales?
What is the greatest gift you can give another human being and why is that gift critical in the world of sales?

The one problem introverts have in sales – 9:46
What are the two types of listening and when should you use each one?

What can you do to stop making assumptions? – 23:45
What is the WAIT acronym and how can you use it to keep yourself in check when interacting with potential customers?
Why are moments of silence in conversation so important in sales?

Theses traits mean certain failure for people new to sales – 35:00
What is one of the biggest hurdles entrepreneurs face when starting a business for the first time?

What can you do to overcome yesterday’s mistakes every day you wake up?

Strategies for handling objections – 46:45
What framework can you use for overcoming objections?

What is the difference between a good salesperson and a great salesperson?

Introverts aren’t regularly associated with great salesmanship, but as the world evolves, introverts have an edge in sales. People want to be valued and they want to be understood. The more you can listen and ask questions, the better idea you will have about how you can solve their problem.

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Resources from this Episode

Jeb Blount’s website

Sales Gravy

Sales EQ by Jeb Blount

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

The Sales Podcast hosted by Wes Schaeffer

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Wes Schaeffer | Crush It in Sales by Adopting this Bulletproof Mindset Jul 05, 2021

In today’s episode, we cover the fundamentals of sales with Wes Schaeffer. Wes is the creator and owner of The Sales Whisperer, a sales training, marketing and consulting firm with an emphasis on CRM & email marketing software sales, support and optimization.

Sales skills are integral to our daily lives because we are regularly trying to solve problems and get other people to buy into our ideas, so what are the fundamentals of great salesmanship, how can you work to improve your sales skills, and why do you need to be a great listener to be great at sales?

What to Listen For

How did Wes Schaeffer get started in sales – 3:00

Do you need to be an entrepreneur to get the most out of life?
How should you think about your day job if you dream of being your own boss one day?

The biggest misconception about people who are not in sales – 8:10

Why do we need some degree of sales skills to be successful in all areas of life and what can you do to improve yours?

The new ABC’s of sales – 12:35
What is the difference between influencing, persuading, and manipulating someone?
What do great sales people understand about the actual significance of the transaction stage in making a sale?

What is the difference between mediocre and great salesmanship? – 24:00
What mistakes do new people in sales make to shoot themselves in the foot over the long term?
What should you be trying to identify when talking to a potential customer that will allow you to determine the perfect product or service to address their needs?

The two halves of listening – 33:40
Why do people experience beginner's luck?

What should you focus on when improving your sales skills?
What is the difference between education and training?

Anytime you are trying to influence or persuade someone, you are utilizing sales skills. It can be something as simple as convincing your friends where the best place to get dinner is, or persuading your boss to give you a two week extension on a deadline.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Resources from this Episode

Wes Schaeffer's website

The Sales Whisperer Way by Wes Schaeffer

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Become Unstoppable with the Art of Charm

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Toolbox | Defeat Your Deepest Fears and Become Unstoppable Jun 28, 2021

In today’s episode, we cover becoming unstoppable with AJ, Johnny, and Michael.

Anyone can develop confidence that makes you unstoppable, but what does it even mean to be unstoppable, what is stopping you from being more confident today, and why does avoiding the process lead to feeling miserable?

What to Listen For

Why do most people never become confident? – 3:22

What is the biggest misconception people have about developing confidence?

What are the 3 reasons people can’t start being more confident? – 5:30

What assumptions do you make about other people that get in the way of developing your confidence?
What does a real-world definition of confidence look like?

What does it mean to have unstoppable confidence? – 11:00
How should you start thinking about your thoughts and emotions if you want unstoppable confidence?
Why is it dangerous to wait for you to have confidence before taking action?

Stop reading books and take action – 18:00
Why does avoiding your fears make taking action more difficult?
Why does reading too much actually cripple your ability to grow and reach your potential?

Why does avoiding discomfort cause life to suck? – 25:50
Why is it detrimental to your growth to surround yourself with people who avoid fear and who should you surround yourself with?

What can you do to start attracting a high-value social circle? – 32:20
Why is growth impossible as long as you are in your comfort zone?

How do confident people think about fear and anxiety? – 50:45

The path to unstoppable confidence is a simple one. Stop reading books and take action, stop avoiding discomfort in life because avoiding it will cause your life to suck, and attract high-value social circles by thinking about fear and anxiety differently than most people do.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrates your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Resources from this Episode

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

The Digital Body Language Expert Course

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Erica Dhawan | Communicate Powerfully by Mastering Digital Body Language Jun 21, 2021

In today’s episode, we cover digital body language with Erica Dhawan. Erica studied human innovation and collaboration for over 15 years, shared her insights with over 200 audiences around the world, and wrote the new best-selling book, Digital Body Language: How to Build Trust and Connection, No Matter the Distance.

Now that we are working remotely more than ever before, our digital body language is crucial to our success in the workplace, but what is digital body language, how is it different from physical body language, and what can you start doing today to stand out as a leader?

What to Listen For

What is digital body language? – 8:09

Should you be concerned about your background on a Zoom call?
What should you be concerned about most when you’re on a video call?
How is digital body language different from the body language we use when face to face?

How do you figure out what norms are acceptable in digital communication? – 13:44

What assumptions do we need to stop making when communicating digitally and how are those assumptions eroding at our ability to communicate effectively?
What can we do to make sure we’re not misreading messages and emails?

What can we do to set clear expectations for digital communication? – 19:55
How do we collaborate competently in the digital age when so much time is wasted in unclear communication?

What are the four anxiety provoking events in digital communication? – 22:52
What two questions should you ask yourself when you realize you’re getting stressed out or anxious about a message or email someone sent you?
What should you do if you feel like a team member or friend seems disinterested in a group conversation or Zoom call?

How do Zoom calls limit the generation of new ideas? – 34:44
What can you do to foster team chemistry and help team members work together more effectively without team building activities?

What three things can you do to maintain engagement over Zoom calls? – 40:00
What can you do to be more engaged in meetings if you are the only person on Zoom and everyone else is in a meeting room together?
What are the best practices for onboarding digital new hires?
How is our digital body language changing our physical body language? – 54:15
What ground rules can you incorporate today to set expectations for digital communication?

The digital age has caused an interesting shift in the way we communicate. Our tone and facial expressions are no longer conveyed through words alone, but also in our digital body language. Our digital body language is conveyed through many things including what’s behind you when you’re on a Zoom call, whether you use Slack or email to send a message, and the “tone” of your text messages. Therefore, it’s critical that we set clear expectations for digital communication to keep our teams on track and engaged as studies show up to 4 hours of productivity are lost per week due to unclear communication.

A Word From Our Sponsors

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Resources from this Episode

Erica Dhawan’s website

Digital Body Language: How to Build Trust and Connection, No Matter the Distance by Erica Dhawan

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Psychologists Off the Clock Podcast

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Diana Hill | Effortlessly Adapt to Any Situation and Excel Under Pressure Jun 14, 2021

In today’s episode, we cover psychological flexibility with Dr. Diana Hill. Diana helps her clients build a values-rich life and unpacks the science of acceptance commitment therapy (ACT) through the cutting-edge podcast Psychologists Off the Clock, online teachings, and her book ACT Daily Journal: Get Unstuck and Live Fully with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy.

Life throws curveballs at us all the time, but if you have psychological flexibility you can be prepared for them—so what is psychological flexibility, why is it detrimental to our health and fulfillment to be psychologically rigid, and how do you start developing psychological flexibility?

What to Listen For

Why did Dr. Diana Hill pursue a career in ACT? – 0:00

What is psychological flexibility and why is it important for all of us to work on it if we don’t want to be crushed by the events and challenges in our lives?
What are the 6 processes involved in psychological flexibility and why is it more important to focus on the processes than the resulting outcomes?
Why does focusing on goals lead to disappointment in the long run?

What makes some of us psychologically rigid? – 4:42

What areas in your life does psychological rigidity prevent you from being the best version of yourself?
What can you do to identify the intrinsic values in your life so you can stop relying on future outcomes to bring you fulfillment instead of present processes?
What is integrative psychology?

What are the downsides of striving? – 15:25
What is experiential avoidance and how is it linked to unhealthy striving?
What is values-based striving?

How do you develop self-compassion? – 21:05
What practices can you start using today to develop self-compassion?
Why is self-compassion important if you want to be a top-performer?

Why does avoiding pain make life harder? – 36:20
How should we look at and deal with pain if trying to avoid it makes life more painful?

What are self-stories and how do they limit our ability to perceive the world around us and achieve our potential?

What can you do to help kids build psychological flexibility? – 43:58
Where should parents start if they want to help and encourage their children to build psychological flexibility so they are better able to deal with the challenges they will face in life?
What value can you expect to get out of the ACT Daily Journal?

What makes you resilient to the ups and downs of life? We all face challenges, but some are more flexible than others. Building psychological flexibility is a lifelong journey that requires self-awareness in your thoughts, emotions, behavior patterns, and relationships with others.

The difference between being psychologically rigid vs. having resilience may seem like an abstract concept—but it can have drastic implications for our health and well-being over time if we're not careful!

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Resources from this Episode

Dr Diana Hill’s website

ACT DAILY JOURNAL: Get Unstuck and Live Fully with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Connect with Rich Diviney on LinkedIn

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Rich Diviney | 5 Navy Seal Attributes To Overcome Any Obstacle And Achieve Optimal Performance Jun 07, 2021

In today’s episode, we cover how to develop the confidence and fearlessness of Navy SEALS with Rich Diviney. Rich draws upon 20+ years of experience as a Navy SEAL Officer where he completed more than 13 overseas deployments. Since retirement in early 2017, Rich has worked as a speaker, facilitator, and consultant with the Chapman & Co. Leadership Institute and Simon Sinek Inc.

Anyone can learn a skill, but the same cannot be said for attributes—so what is the difference between skills and attributes, how do you develop the attributes you do have, and how can you identify what your strongest attributes are so you can lean into them and be successful?

What to Listen For

Why did Rich Diviney want to be a Navy SEAL - 0:00

How did Rich’s SEAL training prepare him for the chaos and uncertainty of the pandemic?
Why is it important to train both the mind and body when it comes to developing resilience?

How did military life prepare service persons for the pandemic - 11:10

What is elemental human behavior and how does it drive you to act the way you do?
What can you do to better understand what advice will actually help you and what advice will waste your time?

How do you figure out the life best suited for you - 18:04
What is the difference between skills and attributes and why is one more important in times of stress or uncertainty?
What does it take to develop an attribute and can anyone develop any attribute?

How can we create opportunities to develop attributes? - 25:24
How do you know what attributes are worth developing and which ones are a waste of your time?
What is the difference between narcissism and arrogance, and which one is actually good to have in healthy amounts?
If you’re a narcissist, what can you do to mitigate it and keep it in control?

What attribute is critical to problem solving? - 36:02
How do Navy SEALS face their fears and what can you learn from how they do it?

What can you do to develop your courage?
Why is it important for everyone to develop their ability to take responsibility?

What can you do to develop your confidence? - 48:26
How do you define true confidence?

What actually is fear and how do we develop the ability to work through it?
How do Navy SEALS handle uncertainty and how can we apply it to everyday situations?

The world is in need of more individuals who can identify their strengths. If you know your strong points, then it will be much easier for you to find work that matches those talents and skills so that you are able to excel at what makes the most sense for YOU!

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Resources from this Episode

The Attributes by Rich Diviney

The Attributes Self Assessment Tool

Art of Charm Bootcamp!

Core Confidence Coaching Program

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

The Art of Charm Small Talk Cheat Sheet

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Toolbox | 3 Steps to Break Out of Small Talk and Instantly Build Rapport May 31, 2021

In today’s episode, we cover small talk and smart talk with AJ, Johnny, and Michael.

If you want to make meaningful connections with people, you have to transition from small talk to smart talk, but what is smart talk, why is vulnerability key, and how do you know what questions to ask?

What to Listen For

Small Talk and Smart Talk - 0:00

How do you transition from small talk to more meaningful conversations that actually create connections?
Why is vulnerability important when selling someone on an idea or solution, and how do you use vulnerability to do it?

How to be vulnerable using the cave analogy - 4:30

What is the cave analogy and how can you use it to lead a conversation to a strong connection?
What does it mean to move laterally and vertically in a conversation and why is it detrimental to only move in one direction?
How do you know what questions to ask when making small talk?

The FORD acronym for making small talk - 10:30
What four basic ideas can you use to come up with easy questions to start a conversation?
What should you do if you find yourself in conversational dead ends, or if the person you’re talking to is giving you short responses?

How do talk about yourself in a meaningful way - 19:05
How do you talk about yourself without coming across as boastful or arrogant?
Once you connect with someone, how do you deepen that connection?

If you want to make meaningful connections with people, you have to transition from small talk to smart talk. What is the difference between small and smart talk? When we think of small talk, most often it's just a way for us to pass time or fill an awkward silence. Smart talk is about asking the right questions and listening closely to what they have to say. This will help you understand their needs on a deeper level, build stronger relationships with them, and form better connections than if all you did was small talk. But without vulnerability in your interactions, there’s little chance of connecting with someone new or deepening an existing relationship.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Resources from this Episode

Eavesdropping on Happiness: Well-being is Related to Having Less Small Talk and More Substantive Conversations

The Art of Charm Immersive Bootcamp

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

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Tim Grover | Achieve Superhuman Focus by Annihilating Distractions May 24, 2021

In today’s episode, we cover winning with Tim Grover. Tim is the CEO of ATTACK Athletics, a keynote speaker and consultant to business leaders, athletes (including Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant, Dwyane Wade), and elite achievers, and is the preeminent authority on the science and art of physical and mental dominance and achieving excellence.

Winning is something we all experience in a lifetime, but what does it take to win at winning, how do winners manage their time with everything else they do, and what do you need to do if you want to be the best at what you do?

What to Listen For

How did Tim Grover get his start working with Michael Jordan - 0:00

How do you build trust with clients when starting out as a trainer or coach?
What do elite performers do to manage self-doubt and insecurity, and what can you learn from how they do it?

The three categories of winners and their mindsets - 10:54

What 3 categories can individuals be broken down into and why will being in 2 of the 3 categories prevent you from being the best at what you do?
How do you need to approach failure if you want to be a winner?
What mindset do you need to stay ahead of everyone around you who is also trying to win?
Why is it not enough to only know the fundamentals if you want to win?

What do you need to look for to make winners keep winning - 24:00

What allows people to win when everyone around them can’t?
How do you coach people through their insecurities so they can come out the other side as winners?
How do professional winners push through their distractions to stay focused?
Where did the Mamba Mentality originate and what did it represent off the court?

Develop the focus and time management of champions - 39:42

What is the difference between managing your time and managing your focus, and why should you avoid one if you want to be the best at anything?
What do you need to do to create balance and time in your life?
What role does selfishness play in winning?
How do you set boundaries when you’re surrounded by people who want your attention all the time?

Elite performers don’t just have talent and skill. They also use their minds to manage self-doubt, insecurity, and distractions in order to stay focused on the task at hand. And there is no one way that works for everyone. What we can say with certainty about how you need to approach failure if you want to be a winner comes down to this simple but powerful truth: You must see your failures as opportunities for growth—as learning experiences which will help make you better than ever before!

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 13,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Resources from this Episode

Tim Grover’s website

Winning: The Unforgiving Race to Greatness by Tim Grover

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Dr. Ethan Kross’s website

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Ethan Kross | Dominate Your Inner-Dialogue and Become The Ultimate Leader May 17, 2021

In today’s episode, we cover our inner voices and chatter with Dr. Ethan Kross. Ethan is an American experimental psychologist, neuroscientist and writer, who specializes in emotion regulation. He is a professor of psychology and management at the University of Michigan and director of the Emotion & Self Control Laboratory there.

We all have that voice in our heads that can feel out of our control sometimes, but why is it there, how can you use it to build confidence, and how does the world around you influence it in good and bad ways?

What to Listen For

Introduction - 0:00

Why is it a bad idea to turn inward when you encounter challenges in life, and what should you do instead?
Why do we have a voice inside our heads that never stops talking?
How can you use the voice in your head as a tool to strengthen your mental capability?
What is the dark side of our inner voice and what can we do to manage it?

How do you manage your inner voice - 10:30

What can we do to harness the power of our inner voice to help us rather than hold us back and limit our potential for success and happiness?
How can the people around you be helpful or harmful when it comes to managing your inner voice?
What is co-rumination and how can it hinder your ability to see situations clearly and move forward after painful experiences?

Tips for nurturing healthy chatter - 40:30

Is it possible to silence the chatter in our heads?
How does digital interaction with one another harm us compared to real face to face interaction?
What two things should you consider when it comes to social media and your inner voice?
What is good sleep hygiene and why is it important to get uninterrupted quality rest?
What can you do to help people who might be struggling but refuse to ask for help?

Developing a healthy relationship with your inner voice can help you build unbreakable confidence and lead effortlessly. You can start by acknowledging it and making room for it in your life, instead of trying to silence or ignore it. Observe it and pay attention to when you’re giving it too much control over what you’re thinking about or feeling. As you do that, be open-minded about the world around you—engaging new people, experiences, and ideas will help broaden your horizons, push your confidence higher, and keep your inner voice in check.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 13,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Resources from this Episode

Chatter The Voice in Our Head, Why It Matters, and How to Harness It

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

The Holistic Psychologist Instagram account

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Dr. Nicole LePera | Heal Your Trauma and Forge the Life You Want May 10, 2021

In today’s episode, we cover what it means to work on yourself with Dr. Nicole LePera. She is the creator of the popular Instagram account @the.holistic.psychologist, was educated in clinical psychology at Cornell University and The New School of Social Research, and is the author of the best-selling How to Do the Work: Recognize Your Patterns, Heal from Your Past, and Create Your Self.

Introduction

It takes a lot of work to go from insight to effecting real long-lasting change, so how do you bridge the gap, why does focusing on the flaws of others hurt your own development, and how does your lack of emotional expressiveness take away from your life satisfaction?

Introduction - 4:00

What does it mean to “do the work” when embarking on a path of self-development or healing after trauma?
Why is it important to bridge the gap between insight and action and why do so many people fail to, leaving them unable to make progress?
How do you overcome your own resistance to change?

Detangling trauma from an idealized past - 13:32

What can you do to identify trauma in your life that is causing you to self-sabotage without even realizing it?
What are the most common self-sabotaging behaviors people do without realizing it?
What are trauma bonds and how does it show up in your relationships in destructive ways you might not even realize?

Your unknown expectations can destroy your relationships - 28:28

What role do expectations play in trauma bonds influencing our current relationships?
What do you do when you are ready to make a change but your friends or family aren’t supportive or ready to make changes themselves?

How should we think about emotions - 37:46

What steps can you take to start valuing your emotions instead of dismissing them or allowing other people to dismiss them?
Why is self-compassion important when it comes to “doing the work” and growing into the person you want to be?
What can you do if you’re an overachiever and feel like you need achievement to feel complete?
How do you overcome the fear of being who you want to be so you can get out of your own way?

Have you ever felt a fear so strong that it nearly paralyzed you or left you trembling? Maybe the event was a real-life trauma, like being mugged. Or maybe it was something more subtle but equally as debilitating - like walking into an interview for your dream job and feeling all those eyes on you, sizing up who they can't wait to reject. All of these events can have long lasting effects on who you are and who you want to become. But you have to be willing to identify them, work through the effects they’ve had, and get out of your own way to be comfortable expressing who you really are.

A Word From Our Sponsors

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Resources from this Episode

How to Do the Work: Recognize Your Patterns, Heal from Your Past, and Create Your Self by Dr. Nicole LaPera

Dr. Nicole LaPera’s website

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

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Dr. Carole Robin | How to Build World Class Connections and Lead With Vulnerability May 03, 2021

In today’s episode, we cover building stronger connections with Dr. Carole Robin. Carole Robin, Ph.D. was the Dorothy J. King Lecturer in Leadership at Stanford's Graduate School of Business where she helped to further develop the Interpersonal Dynamics Course, and is now the author of the best selling book, Connect: Building Exceptional Relationships with Family, Friends, and Colleagues.

Technology and the pandemic have changed the landscape of human connection, but how bad is it, what simple tips can you use to improve your ability to connect, and what is the correct way to show vulnerability in the workplace?

What to Listen For

The damage technology is having on our ability to connect - 0:00

What experience do we all need as humans and what can you do to give people that experience?
Why are we losing close connections in our lives and what can we do about it?
How does social media trap you into a state where you can’t connect with the people around you and what can you do about it?
What simple tip can you use to deepen any connection?

Why you need to get comfortable talking about feelings - 9:56

Why is it detrimental to your relationships to avoid talking about your emotions and feelings?
What are the benefits of expressing your feelings and how does it help strengthen your relationships?
Why are “why” questions so challenging when it comes to connecting with someone, and what questions should you ask instead?
What type of questions can lead to the other person feeling judged?
What is the signature trait of a successful relationship?

What does a successful relationship look like? - 31:38

What are the characteristics of a successful relationship and what can you do to cultivate them in your relationships?
How has the pandemic affected the way we interact with coworkers and build relationships?
What 90 second exercise can you implement to strengthen your personal and professional relationships over Zoom?
How can you be vulnerable without letting your disclosure be used against you?
What can women do to become better leaders while staying true to themselves?

Technology is changing the landscape of human connection and it's hard to know what will happen next. What you can do now, however, is learn to be vulnerable so that those around you also feel comfortable being open with one another. Without this openness we'll always have a lack of trust which does not bode well for our society at large where social connections are essential.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Resources from this Episode

Connect: Building Exceptional Relationships with Family, Friends, and Colleagues by Dr. Carole Robin

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Toolbox: Biggest Myth With Small Talk & 3 Mistakes to Avoid

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Toolbox | Small Talk Hacks to Boost Your Sales, Grow Your Network and Never Feel Awkward Again Apr 26, 2021

In today’s episode, we cover small talk with AJ, Johnny, and Michael.

Getting on the question train is one of the most common mistakes people make in conversations without realizing it, but what is it, why does it kill conversations, and how do you avoid getting on it?

What to Listen For

The pitfalls that lead to one-sided conversations - 0:00

What is the conversation formula you can use to create engaging conversations in any situation?
What is the conversation train and why do you want to avoid it when you’re talking to someone?
Why are people more likely to disclose personal information to strangers than to close friends?

The conversation formula - 13:20

What is the best way to start a conversation with someone you don’t know?
What kind of questions should you avoid when making small talk?
What is the most important part of a conversation after asking the initial question and why do we often trip up over it?

What is the question train and how do you avoid it? - 27:20

Why does an endless series of questions deter people from wanting to talk to you?
What easy-to-remember visual can you keep in mind when making engaging small talk?
What are the 3 A’s of value we should be giving to people when we’re speaking to them?
What is emotional contagion and why is it important to understand when leading a conversation?

Asking questions is a critical part of engaging conversations. But asking too many questions can kill a conversation. A conversation should be a balance between asking questions, listening, and relating. That means after you ask a question, you should be listening to what the other person says, and then responding with a statement that shows you were listening and that you understand what the other person was trying to say. You ask a question, they share, you share, then you can ask another question or preferably, they ask the next question.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Resources from this Episode

How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

Self-Disclosure: An Experimental Analysis of the Transparent Self

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Dr. Caroline Leaf’s website

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Dr. Caroline Leaf | The Secret to Cleaning Up Your Mental Mess & 5 Steps to Healing Grief Apr 19, 2021

In today’s episode, we cover the idea of mental mess with Dr. Caroline Leaf. Caroline has spent the last 30 years researching the nature of mental health and has helped hundreds of thousands of people learn how to use their mind to detox and grow their brain to succeed in every area of their lives including school, university, and the workplace.

We are all dealing with mental messes in varying degrees, but what is a mental mess, how does your mental mess impact your ability to find happiness and success, and what process can you start using today to clean up your mental mess?

What to Listen For

What is a mental mess and why is it important to manage? - 0:00

What is neuroplasticity and how can you take advantage of it on a daily basis to improve the quality of your life?
What is the difference between the brain and the mind and why do we put so much attention on one at the detriment to the other?
What can you do to replace your negative thoughts & beliefs with positive, empowering thoughts & beliefs?

What’s wrong with the way we treat mental health? - 16:27

How is our current perception of mental health treatment preventing us from making significant progress in our overall mental health and happiness?
How has the media negatively impacted our mental health and the way we process our mental messes?
How does your mental health influence the length of your lifespan and what can you do to live a longer, healthier life?

What is the neurocycle and how can it improve our lives? - 37:15

What are the 5 steps of the neurocycle and how can you use it to heal grief?
Why is it important to develop a self-awareness of your mental state?
How do you prepare yourself for those moments when you know you will feel anxiety or fear so they don’t stop you from achieving success?

Mental health is an important part of everyone’s existence. In the same way we should take regular steps to maintain and improve our physical health, we must do the same for our mental health. If we don’t, then a mental mess builds up over time. This mental mess clouds our thinking, influences our beliefs in a negative manner, and slowly eats away at relationships. Using the neurocycle described by Dr. Caroline Leaf, you can start cleaning up your mental mess and improve your quality of life today.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Resources from this Episode

Cleaning Up Your Mental Mess by Dr. Caroline Leaf

CLEANING UP THE MENTAL MESS hosted by Dr. Caroline Leaf

Neurocycle App

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Is Efficiency Overrated?: Minimal Social Interactions Lead to Belonging and Positive Affect

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Toolbox: Biggest Myth With Small Talk & 3 Mistakes to Avoid Apr 12, 2021

In today’s episode, we cover the science of small talk with AJ and Johnny.

Small talk can feel like a chore these days, but why is it important that we make small talk with people throughout the day, how do we make it fun and engaging, and why is it detrimental to our relationships and community to avoid or ignore small talk?

What to Listen For

The science of small talk and acknowledging others - 0:00

What are the benefits to making small talk and why does avoiding small talk erode the strength of relationships and community?
Why do people go to extreme lengths to have their existence acknowledged?
Why is it detrimental to think of small talk as useless or a waste of time?

Why is small talk stopping you from being successful - 8:22

Why do people think small talk is boring and how is that mindset hindering them?
In what way does small talk satisfy one of our most basic needs as humans?
How can we use small talk as a jumping off point for engaging conversations?
What pitfall do we need to avoid when making small talk?

Why is it so important for us to make small talk - 16:00

Does small talk require you to be positive and bubbly?
What is small talk really about?
What can you do to be more likeable?
What negative signals are you conveying when you ignore the attempts others make at small talk?
What one word can you add to make your small talk more fun and conversational?

Small talk is one of our more important tools in initiating engaging conversations. You can make it fun, but at times it can be awkward. That discomfort at the thought of awkward small talk leads people to opt out altogether in the age of smartphone proliferation. It feels much safer to stare at your phone than strike up a conversation with someone you don’t know. Unfortunately, this is leading to a lack of any small talk, even with friends and family. Over time, this leads to a total disconnect within communities as neighbors don’t talk to each other, friends sit on their phones when they’re out to dinner, and families resort to texting rather than calling each other.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Resources from this Episode

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

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Brad Lomenick | 3 Steps to Effective Leadership & Getting the Feedback You Need to Succeed Apr 05, 2021

In today’s episode, we cover leadership with Brad Lomenick. Brad is a leadership consultant, speaker, founder of BLINC, and author of The Catalyst Leader and H3 Leadership. He writes about leadership, the next generation, creativity, innovation, social media, teamwork, and personal growth.

Effective leadership is built on a few powerful traits anyone can learn, but what are they, what is the difference between an effective leader and an ineffective one, and what can you do to be an effective leader without being in a leadership position?

What to Listen For

Brad’s Journey & Strategies for Conquering Burnout - 3:34

What are the different levels of burnout and what can you do if you’re feeling burnt out?
What can you do as a leader to encourage your team to hold you accountable for your faults and blindspots?

The Biggest Leadership Myths & How to Assume Leadership - 9:59

What are the biggest myths about leadership?
What are the two types of people who want to be leaders and why is one not cut out for the role?
What can you do to be a leader if you are regularly jumping from one company to another?
What can you do to be proactive about being a leader rather than waiting to be recognized as one?

Ineffective vs Effective Leadership - 21:08

How does social media identify and highlight the ineffective leaders, placing poor examples of leadership in front of people around the world?
How can a leader exemplify the hustle mentality and powerful humility?
How do you build trust with your team when you are brand new and your team doesn’t know you?

It seems as if the loudest “leaders” get the most attention, but getting someone’s attention or drawing an audience do not make someone a leader. The most effective leaders can lead from a place of trust and humility. They get buy-in from those around them by getting to know them and building a genuine relationship. If you want to be an effective leader, you must be willing to listen to the people around you and open up to them so they can connect with you.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Resources from this Episode

Brad Lomenick’s website

H3 Leadership by Brad Lomenick

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Matthew Pollard’s website

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Matthew Pollard | The Networking Mindset for Success and Why Introverts Have the Edge Apr 01, 2021

In today’s episode, we cover networking as an introvert with Matthew Pollard. Matthew is an internationally-recognized consultant, speaker, author, serial entrepreneur with five multi-million dollar business success stories under his belt, and the author of his newest book The Introvert’s Edge to Networking.

Networking when you’re an introvert can feel like a daunting task, so how do successful introverts do it, what advantages do introverts have when it comes to networking, and what can you do to be unforgettable?

What to Listen For

Why do introverts make the best networkers? - 0:00

What is the failing networking strategy many introverts adopt?
Who are some of the more famous introverts and what can you learn from them?
What’s the difference between extroverts and introverts when it comes to networking?

How do you come up with a plan for networking? - 9:20

What is the best way to get other people interested in what you have to say or sell?
What is a unified message and why do you need one to grow your network effectively?
How important is it to be passionate when networking and what can you do to find the passion in what you do?
What should you lead with when meeting new people to make sure they don’t forget you as quickly as they met you?
What mindset will set you up for failure in a networking environment and what mindset should you adopt instead?

How do you excel at networking online? - 36:18
Why is it more important to have a clear message when networking online than it is offline?
What are the challenges you face when networking online and what strategies can you use to overcome them?
What mistaken strategy do introverts tend to use when networking online and how does it lead to burnout and failure?

Networking is typically associated with extroverts but that doesn’t mean introverts can’t be fantastic at it. Networking is all about building connections with people, and since introverts tend to seek deeper connections than extroverts, introverts have an inherent advantage they can leverage. The key for introverts when it comes to networking is to prepare - find out who will be at a networking event and decide who you want to meet. Do some research into what they do and what you might have in common so you can show genuine interest when you meet them instead of struggling through the initial introduction and conversation.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Resources from this Episode

The Introvert’s Edge to Networking by Matthew Pollard

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Two Beats Ahead: What Musical Minds Teach Us About Innovation

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Spark Your Creativity and Innovate Today with Michael Hendrix & Panos Panay Mar 29, 2021

In today’s episode, we cover the power of music and listening with Panos A. Panay and R. Michael Hendrix. Panay is a Cypress-born entrepreneur and educator, Hendrix is an American graphic designer and entrepreneur, and both are the authors of Two Beats Ahead: What Musical Minds Teach Us About Innovation, featuring interviews with some of the top creative geniuses of our time.

Some of the best music humans create comes from collaborative work between artists, but why is collaboration so important, what should you avoid when collaborating with others on any project, and why is it important to focus on the process of creating something just as much as the end product?

What to Listen For

The Power of Listening - 0:00

What is the difference between hearing music and listening to it?
Why is the silence between notes more important than the notes themselves?
What creative acts do design and music have in common?
What are you NOT doing if you feel like you run out of things to talk about in a conversation?

The Power of Collaboration - 16:45

What great approaches to collaboration can you use in your life and business to come up with new ideas?
Why are trust and respect so important when pursuing collaborative opportunities with individuals and groups?
What is missing from project based learning that can lead to a total failure for the teams working on the projects?
What can you do if you find yourself on a team with people you don’t like or get along with?
What conversation are professional organizations and businesses not having and why is it killing the effectiveness of project teams?

Process Focused vs Outcome Focused - 29:38

Why is it more important to focus on the process of creating something rather than just the end result?
How do you work with individuals who refuse to compromise when working on collaborative projects?
What mistake do many companies make when trying to find collaboration opportunities?
How do you bring out the individuality in your team members to get the best of the collaboration?

Humans have likely been creating music for as long as we have been around. And the process of making music can teach us about the values that define humanity. The value of not just the notes, but the silence between them - both contribute to the sound of the music we love and hate. Similarly, it’s important for humans to have periods of rest in between periods of effort because in those periods of rest and boredom are when we come up with some of our best ideas. Those periods of rest between intense workouts are when our bodies get stronger. We cannot live fulfilling lives by simply resting all the time nor can we by working all the time. Balance is important in all things.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Resources from this Episode

Michael Hendrix’s website

Panos A. Panay on Twitter

Sonic Bids

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Dr. Janina Scarlet’s Website

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Dr. Janina Scarlet | Unlock Superhero Confidence & Slay Your Inner Dragons Mar 22, 2021

In today’s episode, we cover superhero therapy with Dr. Janina Scarlet. Dr. Janina Scarlet is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist, author, TEDx speaker, and a full-time geek who immigrated to the United States at the age of 12 with her family and later, inspired by the X-Men, developed Superhero Therapy to help patients with anxiety, depression, and PTSD.

Effective therapy can come in many forms but superhero therapy is certainly one of the more interesting approaches we’ve come across - but what is superhero therapy, what can we learn from the heroes and adventures which inspire us, and how can you build an environment conducive to the life you want to lead?

What to Listen For

Dr. Janina Scarlet’s Origin Story and Using Stories to Heal - 0:00

How did Dr. Janina Scarlet get started using superhero stories to help patients with the mental health difficulties they’re facing?
How can we reframe challenges we face using stories and characters in order to overcome them?
How can you use fiction to gain insight into the challenges you face?
What is a stress hormone and how does one in particular make it difficult for us to get out of bed in the morning?

Building a Life that Supports Your Heroic Journey - 17:30

Why is it important to surround yourself with people who support you on your recovery journey?
How can we use superhero stories to get our friends and family excited about helping us while also opening up about the challenges they’re facing?
How do you construct an environment conducive to the life you want to lead and the person you want to become?
How can you use fictional characters like superheroes to identify your core values in order to guide your decisions to build the life you want?

What can we learn from our Heroes? - 31:28

What are the benefits to reading fictional stories and what can we all learn from the heroes of said stories?
Is it more important to fake confidence until your confident or to be comfortable with your flaws and insecurities?
What is Dark Agents about and what can it teach us about PTSD?
What are the biggest misconceptions surrounding PTSD?
How can you recognize when you or someone you know is struggling with PTSD and what can you do to seek help or get help?
Can we experience trauma in life without realizing it until years later?

The idea of finding a therapist and going to therapy can feel intimidating even though mental health is becoming less of a taboo subject. But therapy can come in many different forms and some of those forms can feel much more approachable and relatable. Superhero therapy is one because many of us grew up reading comic books and many more got hooked on the superhero movie craze that erupted two decades ago. It’s easy to be inspired by individuals who perform heroic acts yet still experience many of the same insecurities and flaws we normal people go through daily. As a result, the heroes and their stories have an incredible amount they can teach us if we’re willing to pay attention.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Resources from this Episode

Superhero Therapy Podcast

Harry Potter Therapy Podcast

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar’s website

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Tal Ben-Shahar | The Secret to Being Happy in the Modern World & 3 Tips to Conquer Screen Addiction Mar 15, 2021

In today’s episode, we cover happiness and positive psychology with Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar. Tal Ben-Shahar taught two of the largest classes in Harvard University’s history, Positive Psychology and The Psychology of Leadership, and now consults and lectures around the world to executives in multinational corporations, the general public, and at-risk populations.

Finding happiness in the chaos of life has been a struggle for many in recent years, but what can be done about it, what role do technology and social media play, and how do we help our children navigate the increasing complexity of this world?

What to Listen For

Introduction Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar and Happiness - 1:20

What two groups of people don’t experience painful emotions and why would you not want to be in either group?
What are the biggest myths surrounding happiness and positive psychology?
What can 2020 teach us about happiness?
What are the fundamentals of happiness and what makes them fundamental?
When is distraction a positive thing to have in our lives and when should we avoid it?

Building Healthy Habits Around Media Consumption - 10:50

What healthy habits can you develop around media consumption so you don’t drive your mental health into the ground?
What are sanity islands and how can you use them to limit screen time and promote moderation?
What are the benefits of social media use?
What is the biggest contributor to depression and suicide in teenagers and what can we do about it?
What are the 3 strategies you can use as a parent to promote healthy mental and emotional growth for your kids in the world of smartphones and social media?

The Impact of Tech/Media Consumption on Our Daily Lives - 27:00
Why is it important to be comfortable with boredom and why do we need boredom to come up with our best ideas?
How does our addiction to stimulation impact our relationships and what can we do to prevent our relationships from collapsing as a result?
How do we overcome the paradox of choice so we can simply move forward with a choice rather than getting stuck trying to choose something?
When is it detrimental to our happiness and well-being to have unrealistic expectations and how can you determine when it is ok to have high expectations?
What is the most powerful gift we can give to people we care about who are suffering?
What is toxic positivity and is it a legitimate concern in society?

With mental health issues on the rise in modern society, it seems like happiness is taking a back seat to productivity and profit. Younger generations are experiencing spikes in depression and suicide as a direct result of mass adoption of smartphones and social media. The news is constantly bombarding us with fear and tragic events around the world.

What can we do? For one, we can start by limiting our exposure to all the screens in our daily lives. The devices we own and the software on them are all engineered to keep us using them as long as possible. If you want to feel happier, replace screen time with face time, and not the kind of face time that requires a device. Real in-person face time. The same goes for your kids. Children aren’t going to learn social skills by sitting in front of a screen all day.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Resources from this Episode

Happiness Studies Academy

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

American Icon: Alan Mulally and the Fight to Save Ford Motor Company

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Tasha Eurich | The Secret to Self Awareness & 3 Strategies to Conquer Your Blindspots Mar 08, 2021

In today’s episode, we cover self-awareness with Dr. Tasha Eurich. Tasha is an organizational psychologist, executive coach, researcher, and New York Times best-selling author of Insight and Bankable Leadership.

Self-awareness is crucial when it comes to understanding ourselves and the people around us, but how do you go about developing it, what are the biggest misconceptions about it, and what can you do to overcome the blind spots in your self-awareness?

What to Listen For

What is self-awareness? - 2:50

What are the different types of self-knowledge that make up self-awareness?
What is the difference between internal and external self-knowledge and why do you need both?
How does the prevalence of smartphones negatively affect our ability to develop our self-awareness?
How many people are actually self-aware?
How do people with self-awareness use social media compared to those without self-awareness?
Why are Zoom meetings so draining compared to normal meetings?

Popular Misconceptions Around Self-awareness - 19:55

What is the biggest myth surrounding introspection and self-awareness?
What is the most dangerous question we can ask ourselves when trying to develop self-awareness and what question should we ask ourselves instead?
What kind of journaling should you avoid if you are developing your self-awareness?
How do you journal in a way that is conducive to self-awareness?

The 3 Different Types of Blind Spots in Self-awareness - 37:50
What are the 3 different types of blind spots we have and how can we overcome them?
Why is it detrimental to your growth if you don’t have a solid feedback loop in your life?
What strategies can you use with your coworkers, friends, and family to get the feedback you need to grow and succeed?
What are the 3 building blocks of a self-aware team and why is one more important than the others?

What can you do to better deal with a lack of self-awareness around you?

To grow and develop as a person, you must be willing to acknowledge faults and weaknesses in yourself so you can work on improving them, or at least know how to compensate for them. You must be willing to accept that the people you interact with can have legitimate criticisms you can learn from because you can’t see your own blindspots until they are pointed out. Developing your self-awareness depends on both because you must not only work to understand yourself but also how your “self” exists in relation to others around you.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Resources from this Episode

Tasha Eurich’s website

The Future Ready Leader Course by Tasha Eurich

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Why Emotional Connection Makes or Breaks a Relationship (AoC Episode 719)

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Toolbox: The Cheat Code to Building Deep Relationships and Being Unforgettable Mar 01, 2021

In today’s episode, we cover emotional bids with AJ and Johnny.

Understanding emotional bids is the cheat code to building great relationships, but what are they, how do you recognize them, and why does ignoring them lead to the end of relationships?

What to Listen For

Why are Emotional Bids Important - 2:25

Why is it so important to your relationships to be able to recognize them?
How can ignoring your partner’s emotional bids lead to the end of your relationship?
Why is it important to actively listen for emotional bids when you’re talking to someone?

What is an Emotional Bid - 16:38

What is an emotional bid and how do you recognize when someone is trying to get you to connect?
Why is it more important to pay attention to the emotions behind the words than the words themselves?
How do you make someone want to text you back?
What can you do to be unforgettable after one conversation with someone?

Common Emotional Bids and the 3 Ways to Respond - 27:30
What is a bid for attention and how should you respond to it?
What is a bid for emotional support and how should you respond to it?
What does it mean to turn toward an emotional bid and how can turning away from them or against them cause your relationships to crumble?
What are the 3 ways we can respond to emotional bids and which one is guaranteed to make your relationship fail?

How to Use Emotional Bids to Strengthen Relationships - 48:02
What simple exercise can you use to become aware of emotional bids from the people you interact with on a daily basis?
How can a lack of awareness of emotional bids lead to divorce and what can you do to be more aware of them in your partner?

Emotional bids are our way of expressing vulnerability without feeling like we’re taking a big risk, so if we can recognize the emotional bids in others, acknowledge them, and respond appropriately by turning toward them, we can make the people we care about feel more comfortable being more vulnerable and connecting with us.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Resources from this Episode

Turning Toward Emotion (AoC Episode 720)

The Love Lab - Gottman Institute

Art of Charm Emotional Bids Cheat Sheet

X-Factor Accelerator Mentorship

Core Confidence Coaching Program

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

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Amy Chan | The Secret Ingredients to a Healthy Relationship & Surviving a Breakup Feb 15, 2021

In today’s episode, we cover overcoming breakups with Amy Chan. Amy has been writing about relationships, dating, and love for over a decade, is the Editor-in-Chief of Heart Hackers Club, and is the author of Breakup Bootcamp – The Science of Rewiring Your Heart.

The end of a relationship can be a traumatic experience for many but it doesn’t have to break you - so what can you do to bounce back as an even better version of yourself, how can you learn from the relationship, and what resources can you rely on to help you move on?

What to Listen For

How Amy Chan Became a Relationship Expert - 0:21

Breakup Bounce Back and Attachment Theory - 2:19

What can you do to focus on yourself and heal after a breakup rather than blame the ex and other external factors?
What is Attachment Theory and how does it teach us to view love as we grow up?
What are the 3 main types of attachment that we learn during our childhood and how do they influence our view of love in adulthood?
Once you know what your style of attachment is, what can you do to prevent yourself from sabotaging future relationships?
How do you set healthy boundaries with friends and family after a breakup if they’re constantly trying to give you advice and project their own issues on you?

Learning From the Past for Future Relationships - 21:00
What exercises can you use to recognize red flags with new potential partners if you have a tendency to jump from one relationship to another?
How do you identify the baggage that YOU bring into relationships so you don’t let it destroy your relationships?
What journaling prompts can you use to heal after a breakup?
Why is breaking up from a relationship similar to breaking an addiction and what can you do to make it as brief and painless as possible?
Why are rituals important to recovering normalcy after a breakup and what rituals can you start using today?
How can we make the right choice when we are overwhelmed by dating options in front of us so we don’t waste our time?
What are the 3 secret ingredients in a healthy relationship foundation?

What is the Breakup Bootcamp - 44:06
What goes on during Amy Chan’s Breakup Bootcamp?
What is limerence and how does it keep us in a vicious cycle of hurt?
What is the biggest myth about how men and women handle breakups?

The end of a relationship can feel like losing a loved one because your significant other feels like a part of your identity and your future. Losing that part of you, and feeling like a part of your future is ripped out from under you can be a difficult event to recover from, but there are steps you can take to minimize the suffering and move forward as a better stronger version of yourself.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Resources from this Episode

Amy Chan on Twitter

Breakup Bootcamp

Breakup Bootcamp: The Science of Rewiring Your Heart by Amy Chan

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well

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Therese Huston | How to Manage Criticism Effectively & Make Feedback Your Superpower Feb 08, 2021

In today’s episode, we cover effective feedback with Therese Huston. Therese founded the Center for Excellence in Teaching and Learning at Seattle University, has given more than 225 keynotes, talks, and workshops, and is the author of Let’s Talk: Make Effective Feedback Your Superpower.

Giving great feedback is not easy and poorly worded feedback can put anyone on the defensive, so what does effective feedback look like, what can you do to practice giving great feedback, and why is it important to get better at giving feedback?

What to Listen For

Therese Huston’s Beginning - 0:00

What sparked Therese’s interest in researching the topic of effective feedback?

The 3 Different Types of Feedback - 1:49

What are the 3 different types of feedback and how do you put all 3 together to give the best feedback?
How do you give genuine appreciation and use it to transition into coaching feedback?
What is coaching and how is it different from pointing out what someone is doing wrong?
What does it mean to separate the person from the problem when giving feedback and why is it important if you don’t want the person to get defensive?
Why does the feedback sandwich receive so much criticism and what is the correct way to use the technique?

Cultivating a Growth Mindset Receptive to Feedback - 17:48

What can you do to cultivate a growth mindset in your managers so they can work with their employees rather than against them?
Why do you need to state your intentions as a manager when giving feedback?
What is the difference between a “me strength” and a “we strength” and why can a deficiency in one lead to a team’s failure?

How to be a Better Leader and Team Member - 31:55
What are the different types of listening and why is it crucial to use one instead of the other?
What is critical listening and why can critical listening in the wrong situation lead to a breakdown in communication?
What can you do as a manager to ask better questions and thus get better results?
What can you do to bring out the potential in younger employees?
How do you move past unconscious bias in the workplace?
What challenges does working remotely introduce into the process of giving effective feedback and what can you do to overcome them?

Giving feedback can feel like a delicate balance between being too harsh and being too nice. On one hand, if we’re afraid to hurt their feelings, we might sugarcoat the issues and fail to impress upon them just how important it is that they improve. On the other hand, we want to be clear with people about what we want them to work on and why it’s important they improve, but it can be easy to overwhelm them with what they’re doing wrong and turn them against us.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Resources from this Episode

Therese Huston’s website

Let’s Talk: Make Effective Feedback Your Superpower by Therese Huston

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

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Steven Kotler | The Secret to Flow State & 6 Steps to Recovering from Burnout Feb 01, 2021

In today’s episode, we cover flow state with Steven Kotler. Steven is the founder and executive director of the Flow Research Collective, and is the author of nine international bestsellers including The Rise of Superman and Stealing Fire, and has a new book, The Art of Impossible - A Peak Performance Primer, coming out this month.

Flow state is an amazing aspect of the human experience that can boost your productivity to untold levels, but why is it also important to our happiness and strength as a community, how do you tap into it in your daily life, and what is the biggest myth surrounding flow state?

What to Listen For

Steven Kotler’s Introduction - 0:00

What is Flow State and How Do You Get Into It - 10:40

What is flow state and how do you get into it?
What is flow state and why is it important for our satisfaction and community strength?
What are the 6 core characteristics of flow state?
Why does time seem to slow down when in flow state?
Are we doing damage to our children by not pushing them to play outside and experience the flow state early on?
What happens biologically when we find ourselves in flow state?
What are flow triggers and how can we use them to get into flow when we most need it?
What is the first rule of improv and why is it integral to getting into flow state in a conversation?

The Myth About Flow State - 31:45

What is the biggest myth around flow state?

Taking Care of Your Mind When You’re Pushing Yourself - 33:46

What can you do if you are worried about burn out?
How are anxiety and flow state connected, and what can you do to manage your anxiety so it doesn’t kill your flow state?
Why do affirmations not work while gratitude does work?
What is the difference between active recovery and passive recovery and why does one pale in comparison to the other?

Entering into flow state used to be something associated with artists and athletes, but science has shown it is accessible to anyone with the ability to focus. Being in a flow state is a result of focusing on a task to the point where you’re not trying to think - all of your thoughts and actions simply flow. But tapping into your flow state, as with anything, requires consistent practice with whatever it is you are doing, and a willingness to focus without distraction.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Resources from this Episode

Steven Kotler’s website

The Art of Impossible: A Peak Performance Primer by Steven Kotler

Stealing Fire by Steven Kotler

Passion Recipe

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

From Felony to Fitness to Free: Everybody deserves a second chance

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Doug Bopst | The Obvious Secret to Conquering Addiction & 3 Steps to Building a Better Life Jan 25, 2021

In today’s episode, we cover how to conquer addiction with Doug Bopst. Doug is an award-winning personal trainer, author, speaker, and business owner, who turned his life around from felon and drug addict to help countless individuals build the confidence and strength to succeed in life.

Substance abuse and addiction goes beyond simply using drugs to experience a temporary high, so what can you do to identify the cause of an addiction, how can you rebuild your life after addiction, and why is physical exercise so important in the recovery process?

What to Listen For

Doug Bopst’s Story - 0:00

What made Doug turn his life around after being convicted of a felony?
How did Doug Bopst’s childhood lead to addiction and crime?

Improving Your Life After Addiction - 8:25 (Starts with Johnny saying, “If that energy isn’t channeled…”)

What can you do to remove toxic relationships from your life?
How do you leave one social circle to build a new one?
What do you look for if you want to make new friends that won’t lead you down a path dangerous to your future?

Conquering Addiction - 21:50 (Starts with AJ saying, “What I want to talk about is…”)

How do you break an addiction without simply ending it and replacing it with another as many do?
Why is physical exercise so important when it comes to maintaining a healthy body and mind in addiction recovery?
What can you do to build will power so you can build a healthier lifestyle to replace your addiction?

Building Relationships After Addiction - 31:55 (Starts with AJ saying, “Absolutely, that deep why is such an important part…”)
What can you do to repair the bridges you burned while you were battling addiction?
What happened to the cellmate who inspired Doug Bopst to turn his life around and become the best version of himself?

The source of addiction is not simply wanting a high, but filling a void that can exist in all of us due to pain, trauma, loss, a lack of love, etc. What this means for those suffering from addiction is that the pain is still there even if you stop abusing the substance in question. Addicts use in order to fill that void, so to properly recover, you must find a healthy way of slowly filling the emptiness with a love for yourself. You must become the source of your own fulfillment and happiness.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Resources from this Episode

Doug Bopst website

The Adversity Advantage Podcast - hosted by Doug Bopst

AoC Podcast - BJ Fogg | The Biggest Myth About Habit Formation

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Why Emotional Connection Makes or Breaks a Relationship (Episode 719)

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Toolbox | Why Love Isn't Enough & 4 Skills You Need for a Healthy Relationship Jan 18, 2021

In today’s episode, we cover how to keep the romance in your life fresh.

Unfortunately, many of us believe relationship myths as truth which can set us up for failure, so what are the biggest relationship myths, what else do you need besides love to make a relationship work, and what skills can you start working on today to improve your relationships?

What to Listen For

The Biggest Relationship Myths - 5:50

What are the biggest myths surrounding relationships and why do we believe them?
Why do some people fall in love with falling in love more than they fall in love with actual people?
How are dating apps making it more difficult for you to find a healthy relationship and what should you do to avoid falling into the swipe life trap?
What are the 2 human traits that work against us when it comes to dating apps and how do we overcome them?

The Tools for Strengthening Relationships - 15:45

What are emotional bids and how can you use them to deepen your relationships?
What is the DEEP framework and how can you use it to understand the differences between you and your partner?
What question can you and your partner ask each other to develop actionable goals to be more supportive of one another?
What 4 skills can you start working on today to keep your relationship fresh?
What simple exercise can you implement every day or week to improve communication in your relationships?
What are the 3 levels of listening and how can your knowledge of them help you strengthen relationships?

A long-lasting happy relationship requires more than just love. If you don’t have the skills to navigate all of the issues and challenges that inevitably arise from two people spending time together, love won’t simply solve all of your problems. Fortunately, the skills necessary to forge healthy relationships can be taught and learned, but you must be willing to grow.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Resources from this Episode

Turning Toward Emotion (Episode 720)

THIS IS WATER! A speech by David Foster Wallace

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

How are habits formed: Modelling habit formation in the real world

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BJ Fogg | Biggest Myth About Habits & 2 Strategies to Decreasing Screentime Jan 10, 2021

In today’s episode, we cover the breaking and creation of habits with BJ Fogg. BJ founded the Behavior Design Lab at Stanford University and teaches industry innovators how human behavior works.

There are plenty of misconceptions floating around the internet surrounding making and breaking habits, so what is the biggest one, what does the science actually say about habit formation, and what can you start doing today to break those bad habits you’re feeling stuck with?

What to Listen For

What is Behavior Design and how can you use it to become the best version of yourself?
What is the Tiny Habits method and how can we implement it now to start creating long lasting habits?
Why is it important to start implementing a new habit by making it as easy as possible?
What is the biggest myth about habit formation?
Why can habit trackers be detrimental to healthy habit development?
What is the secret to promoting positive behavioral changes in your kids?
What is the difference between habit and compliance and why is one detrimental in the long run?
Why are positive emotions so significant in the creation of new habits and how can we use that knowledge to build better habits faster?
What are the 3 phases to getting rid of unwanted habits?
What 2 strategies can you use to reduce your weekly screentime and be more present in social situations?

Habit formation is not as simple as just doing something for a specific number of days. Many of us know there are things we only had to try once or twice before we started doing them everyday because it only took one or two times to recognize how good doing those things made us feel. Because we as humans don’t fully incorporate behavioral changes unless we want to, we must recognize and feel the positive impacts a new behavioral change will have in order to solidify it.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Resources from this Episode

BJ Fogg’s website

Tiny Habits by BJ Fogg

Stanford’s Screentime Genie

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

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Joe De Sena | Two Essential Habits to Crush 2021 Like a Spartan Jan 04, 2021

In today’s episode, we cover mindset and determination with Joe De Sena. Joe is the CEO and founder of Spartan and the Death Race, and the NY Times best selling author of Spartan Up, Spartan Fit, and The Spartan Way.

Success is never a straight path nor is it attained with ease, so if you want to increase your chances of success and improve your luck on the way up, what mindset should you adopt, how should you treat your body daily, and what can you learn from others who have come before you?

What to Listen For

What lessons did Joe De Sena learn from a crime boss as a kid that helped him achieve his success as CEO and founder of Spartan and the Death Race?
What can you do to attract and keep amazing mentors who can steer you toward success and away from unnecessary failure?
What 7 simple steps can you take everyday to live a long, healthy life?
How did Joe De Sena’s career on Wall Street lead into his founding of Spartan races?
What can you do to stay focused on the success of your business during the early stages when you’re not turning a profit?
How did Joe De Sena’s 10 Spartan principles come together?
What can you do to stay optimistic when it feels like the world is falling apart around you?

Challenge and adversity are not just great for building well rounded humans, but for proving to ourselves how badly we want something. Whether it’s achieving peak physical condition, a world class level professional skill set, building a thriving international business, and anything in between, you must apply yourself consistently over a long period of time to get anywhere close to the goal, and even then there are countless factors out of your control that could knock you down and prevent you from reaching the finish line. You must be willing to push through the days when you’re just not feeling it, everyone is doubting you, and life isn’t giving you a break. But even that mindset is not created overnight, so let’s get to work on building it today.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Resources from this Episode

Joe De Sena’s website

Joe De Sena on Twitter

Spartan Races

The Spartan Way by Joe De Sena

Spartan Up! by Joe De Sena

Spartan Fit! by Joe De Sena

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

The Art of Overcoming Procrastination with Adam Grant

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Best of 2020 Dec 28, 2020

In today’s episode, we highlight the best moments of our podcast from 2020.

It’s the end of 2020, so we’re celebrating it with a selection of our greatest moments ranging from speaking up for yourself to forging deeper connections to cultivating your charisma.

What to Listen For

What subtle mindset shift can you use to start speaking up for yourself without coming across like a jerk?
How can you advance your career even if you are a humble person?
Why do we self-sabotage in our professional and personal lives and what can we do to stop?
What does everyone get wrong about the concept of self-sabotage?
What can you do to cultivate motivation and discipline within yourself?
What principles can you start implementing today to forge deeper connections with everyone in your life and everyone you will meet?
What simple yet powerful question can you ask people to learn more about them and give you more stepping stones to deeper conversation?
Why are humans so bad at dealing with uncertainty and what can we do to better handle uncertainty in our everyday lives?
What are some easy ways to practice mindfulness and gratitude?
What techniques can you use to instantly boost your charisma no matter what situation you find yourself in?
Why is enthusiasm important to your charisma and what can you do to create it?
What can you do to be more optimistic and positive even in situations where you don’t feel it?

This year has been a wild ride, but in every crisis lies an opportunity to become a stronger and wiser person. We can let times of stress break us, or we can use them to help us get closer to who we want to be in this life. Troubling times are inevitable in the existence we live in, and while it’s not always easy, we should always strive to be thankful for the adversity life throws at us, as they are the key to showing us who we really are and what we are capable of.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Resources from this Episode

How to Give without Getting Taken Advantage of with Adam Grant

How to Stop Self-Sabotage with Judy Ho

Toolbox: The Myth About Friendship and 3 Ways to Make a Deeper Connection

Dan Harris | The Art of Mindfulness for Skeptics

The Art of Charisma Toolbox Episode

Meditation For Fidgety Skeptics: A 10% Happier How-To Book by Dan Harris

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

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Robert Rosenberg | The Secret to Growing a Successful Business and 3 Tips for Building an All-Star Team Dec 21, 2020

In today’s episode, we cover business leadership with Robert Rosenberg. Robert was the chief executive officer of Dunkin' Donuts for thirty-five years from 1963 to 1998 and is the author of Around the Corner to Around the World: A Dozen Lessons I Learned Running Dunkin Donuts.

Running a business can teach anyone a lot about themselves and life, so what can we learn about leadership skills, social skills, and business management skills from the CEO of one of the most successful American businesses?

What to Listen For

What can you do to develop leadership skills coming out of school and entering the business world for the first time?
How should you view failure when starting and running a business, and why can a fear of failure lead you away from success?
What can you do when stepping into a leadership role to earn the respect you need to be a great leader?
How did Robert M Rosenberg develop his excellent leadership skills during his successful career as the CEO of Dunkin’ Donuts?
What 3 hiring lessons can you take away from the CEO of one of America’s most successful businesses so you don’t waste time and money hiring the wrong people?
How important is culture when making hiring decisions and what can you do to make sure someone is a fit for your company culture?
Why is it important to be willing to take responsibility for the mistakes in your company regardless of who might be directly at fault?

Running a business can teach us a great deal about ourselves and life. A business owner must prioritize his business as well as the people he surrounds himself with. Just like in life, running a business requires consistent application of focus and cooperation with others who share your values. In addition, just like life, you must be willing to take risks and fail in order to become successful.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Resources from this Episode

Around the Corner to Around the World by Robert M Rosenberg

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

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Annie Duke | The Secret Ingredient to Making the RIGHT Decision When It Really Matters Dec 14, 2020

In today’s episode, we cover decision making with Annie Duke. Annie is a former professional poker player and won more than $4 million in tournament poker before retiring from the game in 2012. She is a corporate speaker, consultant in the decision-making space, and the author of How to Decide: Simple Tools for Making Better Choices.

Decision making is a skill we all use everyday but one that few of us master, so why is the skill of decision making overlooked, what can you do to master it, and what can we learn about decision making from a professional poker player?

What to Listen For

What can you do to improve your ability to read other people?
How do professional poker players read people and what can you learn from their perspective?
What is one common way most people are not good listeners?
What lessons can you learn from poker players who can fake their confidence when they know they don’t have the winning hand?
What can you do to be confident in situations where you don’t feel confident in your ability to succeed?
What is the main problem we have as decision makers and how can we prevent it from leading us to failure in the future?
What technique can you use to stop making bad decisions now that you won’t be ashamed of tomorrow?

Every decision we make is an educated guess because we can’t have all the necessary information to make “the best” decision. Simultaneously, if you were to attempt to gather every bit of information in order to make a decision, you would end up spending the rest of your life in analysis paralysis without ever making some of the more insignificant decisions we must make on a daily basis. We must have a consistent approach to decision making so we can make each decision with confidence, learn from our mistakes, and move forward with more experience so we can make better decisions in the future.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Resources from this Episode

Annie Duke’s website

How to Decide: Simple Tools for Making Better Choices by Annie Duke

Annie Duke on Twitter

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jake Wood | The Key to Being a Leader in Times of Crisis & How to Build a World Class Team Dec 07, 2020

In today’s episode, we cover leadership, integrity, and team building with Jake Wood. Jake is the CEO of Team Rubicon, one of America's most celebrated nonprofit organizations, and the author of “Once a Warrior: How One Veteran Found a New Mission Closer to Home”.

Leadership is a skill that evolves with every opportunity we are given to use it, so what can you do to develop your leadership skills, maintain your integrity throughout your journey, and build an exceptional team around you that will have your back every step of the way?

What to Listen For

What does Team Rubicon do and what led to Jake Wood starting it?
What can you do to instill integrity in your kids, or the next generation as a whole?
What practices can you implement in your daily personal or professional life to maintain your integrity so you don’t go back on your values in difficult situations?
Who should you look to in order to build leadership and team management skills so you’re not wasting your time fumbling in the dark?
How do you know when to lead and when to follow?
Why is storytelling important when starting and running a business, and why can avoiding it lead your business to failure?
What strategy can you use to take on new skills for upcoming challenges in life?

Life is one learning opportunity after another, and if you let the success of one get to your head, you can miss out on countless others. Humility is a crucial aspect of leadership because the best teams consist of members who each have different strengths, and the best leaders surround themselves with people who are better than them, thus allowing the leader to make the best use of his team instead of trying to rely solely on his or her skills. Great leadership and excellent cooperation are what allowed humanity to accomplish some of our greatest feats.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Resources from this Episode

Jake Wood’s website

Once a Warrior by Jake Wood

Take Command by Jake Wood

Jake Wood’s TEDx Talk

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

AoC Podcast: Dr. Steven Hayes | The Art of Leading a Fulfilling Life

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Dr. DJ Moran | The 2 Step Process for Facing Any Challenge in Your Life and Coming Out On Top Nov 30, 2020

In today’s episode, we cover Acceptance Commitment Therapy with Dr. DJ Moran. Dr. Moran has a Ph.D. in Psychology, is the founder of Pickslyde Consulting and the MidAmerican Psychological Institute, and has helped thousands of people and hundreds of companies develop the skills for keeping vital commitments.

Nothing will hit as hard as life will, so what can we do to better handle those hits and come back stronger and better equipped to handle the future while also striving to be the best versions of ourselves?

What to Listen For

What is Acceptance Commitment Therapy (ACT) and how can it help you deal with all the challenges and setbacks life throws at us?
What is psychological flexibility and why do we all need it so life doesn’t crush us in difficult moments?
What are the biggest challenges when it comes to changing our behavior and how can ACT help you overcome them so you can live the life you want?
What questions do you want to ask yourself to figure out what changes you need to make and can make so you can be the best version of yourself?
What can you do to take control of your life and lead a life based on your values rather than someone else’s values or society’s values?
What is the Mindful Action Plan and how can you use it to implement ACT in your life to make the behavioral changes you want?
What is counter-conditioning and how can you use it to embrace discomfort and “negative” emotions so you can start leading the life you want?

A full range of human emotions is necessary to lead a fulfilling life, but many of us associate certain emotions with negativity, thus leading us to avoid or suppress feeling those emotions. Consequently, we then avoid the events or activities that lead to us feeling those emotions when those events and activities could be exactly what we need in order to grow as individuals, professionals, friends, lovers, etc. It’s important to be able to accept all of your emotions and develop a comfortable relationship with them and yourself so you can lead the life you want.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Resources from this Episode

Dr. DJ Moran’s website

Mindful Action Plan pdf

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Steve Herz | Why Critical Feedback is Important and How to Ask for It

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David Meltzer | How to Buy Happiness by Shopping for the RIGHT Things Nov 23, 2020

In today’s episode, we cover the myth about success with David Meltzer. David is the Co-founder of Sports 1 Marketing and formerly served as CEO of the renowned Leigh Steinberg Sports & Entertainment agency, which was the inspiration for the movie Jerry Maguire.

While “money can’t buy happiness” is a phrase most people in today’s world are familiar with, many of us still chase after money as if it will buy us happiness - so what is it about this truth we can’t seem to let go of and what can you do every day to lead a more fulfilling life without money?

What to Listen For

What is the biggest myth about success?
What does it mean to “shop for the right things” and why is that phrase so important when you start attaining financial success?
How do you start practicing gratitude when you feel like you have nothing to be grateful for?
What are the 3 votes you make each day that influence whether or not you can live a successful, fulfilling life?
What 3 concepts can you internalize that will give you motivation on a daily basis?
What 5 daily practices can you start implementing today to help you achieve your dreams?

We grow up being told that money doesn’t buy happiness and yet we are surrounded and bombarded with messages about the crap we need to buy in order to make our lives better (aka to make us happier). And many of us are raised in a culture where we expect to give/receive material gifts every year (Christmas, birthdays, etc) because they’ll bring us joy (aka happiness). We have to be able to recognize these signals and then we must be willing to take steps to live outside of them - aware of them, but dismissive of how silly they are.

A Word From Our Sponsors

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Resources from this Episode

David Meltzer’s website

Game-Time Decision Making - by David Meltzer

The Playbook - hosted by David Meltzer

Don't Take Yes for an Answer - by Steve Herz

Think And Grow Rich - by Napoleon Hill

A Course in Miracles

The Power of Intention - by Wayne Dyer

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Life Is in the Transitions

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Bruce Feiler | The Lie We've Been Taught About Life and How to Prepare for Lifequakes Nov 16, 2020

In today’s episode, we cover the myth of linear success with Bruce Feiler. Bruce is the author of seven New York Times bestsellers, the presenter of two prime-time series on PBS, and the inspiration for the drama series Council of Dads on NBC.

Many of us have grown up with a misconception about how life is “supposed to go” - but where does that idea come from, how did people think about life before that better prepared them for major setbacks, and what can we do to better prepare ourselves now for the inevitable pain and suffering we will deal with in our lives?

What to Listen For

What is a life quake, how often do they occur in our lives, and how can we prepare for them?
Why do many of us have the misconception that life should follow a linear path, how does that prevent us from handling what life throws at us, and what can we do to change our mindset so the stress doesn’t kill us?
What is the best response to a setback in life?
How should we construct our identity when life will always throw unexpected, stressful, and potentially traumatic events at us that set us back from the linear life path we expect?
What can we do when the story we tell ourselves about life is “supposed to be about” is disrupted by unexpected events so we are not crushed by those events?
Why does it feel like we are dealing with more and more major life events than generations in the past had to deal with and how can we adapt to so many potential setbacks in life?

We have been led to believe life is supposed to follow a linear path. Many of us think as long as we keep a stable job and work for a good company, our wealth and our lives will keep improving over time. Unfortunately, that is not how life works.

Everything in this universe is cyclical. Life is born and then life dies so more life can take its place. To get stronger, you must apply stress to your body and then let it rest. To navigate all of life’s obstacles, you must push forward, tackle one, and then take a moment to collect yourself before pushing forward to tackle the next one, and some of those obstacles can knock you down and keep you down longer than you “want to be.”

But we can’t let that stop us from learning and moving forward.

A Word From Our Sponsors

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Resources from this Episode

Bruce Weiler’s website

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

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Carson Tate | The Secret to Finding Fulfillment at Work and Turning Your Strengths Into Professional Gold Nov 09, 2020

In today’s episode, we cover finding fulfillment at work with Carson Tate. Carson is the author of Own It. Love It. Make It Work, the founder of Working Simply, and is a renowned expert on workplace productivity.

We have been taught to find the job we love, but what if you could learn to love any job you have instead - what would you have to do, how can you set yourself up for success, and how do you find a great mentor to guide you?

What to Listen For

What is the fundamental flaw behind trying to escape from your problems?
Why does fear keep so many people miserable at their jobs and what can you do about it if running to another job just results in the same feeling?
How do you create opportunities for positive feedback at work when you feel you are not being appreciated?
How can you discover your strengths to forge ahead in your professional life?
What is the ladder of interference, why do you need to get off of it, and what can you do to get off of it before it’s too late?
What can you do to cultivate a healthier working environment so it’s not holding you back from success and fulfillment?
What is the SCARF framework and how can you use it to improve your relationships?
What is emotional theater and how can you use it to take a step back from a difficult situation and look at it how it is affecting you objectively so you can think clearly about what to do?
Why is the compliment sandwich NOT an effective way to give feedback and what should you do instead?
How should you go about finding a mentor and what should you NOT do to make sure you don’t push them away?

It has been drilled into us by inspirational speakers and countless successful people that we won’t be able to find fulfillment in what we do for work until we find the one job that we love.

But how many jobs are you going to have to work before you find that job?

What if instead, you could learn to find fulfillment in every job you take by focusing on some key aspects of the job and why they matter to you. By doing this, you can take pride in your work and give it the effort necessary for you to succeed and leave a great impression on those around you so you’ll develop a solid network that will launch you to even greater success.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Resources from this Episode

Carson Tate’s website

Own It. Love It. Make It Work. by Carson Tate

SCARF Framework by David Rock

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

The Experimental Generation of Interpersonal Closeness

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Toolbox: The Myth About Friendship and 3 Ways to Make a Deeper Connection Nov 02, 2020

In today’s episode, we cover emotional connection with Michael Herold. Michael is the instructor for the Art of Charm’s Core Confidence program and uses evidence-based psychotherapy to help clients overcome their social anxiety and become the best versions of themselves.

In today’s data-driven world, many of us are struggling to connect with those around us because we don’t know how to connect on an emotional level, but what does it mean to connect emotionally, what three rock solid steps can you take to deepen the connections with those around you, and how should you lead a conversation to make others feel comfortable around you?

What to Listen For

What three steps can you take to make a deeper connection with everyone you meet?
Why is it impossible to connect with other humans using facts and data, and what should you use instead?
How can you ask deeper questions that lead to fascinating conversations and deeper connections?
What questions can you ask to deepen your relationships with anyone?
What are the 3 levels of rapport we go through to connect with other people and why can going through them out of order lead to pushing people away when meeting them?
What is the difference between light, medium, and heavy disclosure and when is it appropriate to approach each level?
Why is it dangerous to ask too many questions in a conversation and how should you balance the asking of questions to make a conversation flow smoothly?
Why is there no such thing as the perfect question or perfect answer in a fluid conversation?
How should you word your questions to elicit thoughtful answers rather than cold data-driven answers?
How do you lean into emotional content during conversations so the conversation doesn’t fall flat?

Human beings don’t connect with other human beings through facts and figures. We connect based on shared emotional experiences. But it can be difficult to tap into those shared emotional experiences if you’re uncomfortable asking open ended questions and sharing your feelings, aspirations, and fears. And in order to break through that discomfort, you have to do more than read a book or listen to a podcast - you must be willing to go out and talk to people.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Resources from this Episode

36 Questions to Fall in Love

The Art of Charm Core Confidence 8-week Program

The Art of Charm X-Factor Year Long Mentorship Program

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

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Geoff Woods | Why Discipline is a Lie & The Billion Dollar Secret to Achieving Your Goals Faster Oct 25, 2020

In today’s episode, we cover prioritization with Geoff Woods. Geoff is the Vice President of The ONE Thing and the host of The ONE Thing podcast which is in the top 5% of all podcasts in the world.

Many of us get distracted by everything we think we have to do and all the directions other people pull us in, but if we let all of those things consume our time, we’ll never get to where we want to be, so how do you figure out what you need to do and accomplish your dreams?

What to Listen For

What is the one thing behind extraordinary results and how can you find out what your ONE thing is?
What framework can you use to figure out what to focus your time and energy on?
How do you narrow down a to-do list to figure out what the most important items are?
What can you do to stay disciplined and focused on the important tasks in your personal and professional lives?
How do you build more discipline?
How do you improve different areas of your life if you’re only focusing on one thing at a time?
How do you set goals that pull you toward them?
What can you do to strengthen your willpower and use it in a meaningful way?
What is the value in finding a coach to help you achieve your goals and dreams?

Multitasking has been scientifically proven to be less effective than focusing on one task at a time. However, focusing on the wrong tasks one at a time will also be ineffective. First, we must come up with a clear vision of what we want, and then drill down to the smallest tasks we can accomplish on a daily and weekly basis. This way we are able to track our progress toward the long term goal while also prioritizing the important tasks over less important tasks that might get thrown our way everyday.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Resources from this Episode

The ONE Thing book

The ONE Thing website

The ONE Thing podcast

Your 411 Worksheet

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

J Douglas Holladay’s website

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J. Douglas Holladay | Stop Following Your Passion & 4 Essential Steps to Success Oct 18, 2020

In today’s episode, we rethink the definition of success with J Douglas Holladay. Doug is the founder and CEO of Path North, a Georgetown University professor, former White House advisor, and the author of Rethinking Success: Eight Essential Practices for Finding Meaning in Work and Life.

In an age when more and more people are finding themselves trapped by the idea of a nonstop pursuit of material wealth, it’s time to take a moment and redefine what success should mean before we run ourselves into the ground, so what should success look like and what can we do to find long-lasting success that genuinely makes us better people?

What to Listen For

What’s wrong with the current definition of success and why do we need to rethink it before we run ourselves into the ground?
What is the difference between happiness and meaning, and how do you differentiate between the two so you are not chasing fleeting moments and rewards?
Why is it more important to be comfortable sharing your weaknesses and failures instead of your strengths and successes?
What role does forgiveness play in our ability to build and maintain relationships, and why can a lack of forgiveness be our downfall?
How do we escape the trap of becoming our parents so we can take their best traits and ditch the worst traits?
What can you do to find your own narrative while pushing back on everyone around you with their own narrative for who you are and who they expect you to be?
What questions can you ask yourself to make sure you are living your story instead of the story everyone else wants you to live?
What exercise can you do to integrate what you need to do and what you love to do?

Many of us define success through a lens we develop over years of experience and exposure to the world around us. Unfortunately for many, this has turned into an endless pursuit of more stuff to fill the void inside us created by the same society dangling the trappings of wealth in front of us no matter where we go in the modern world.

It’s time to redefine what success means so we can get out from under the obscene expectations set by society and start living a fulfilled life resulting from living a life inline with our values and not things.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Resources from this Episode

Rethinking Success by J Douglas Holladay

Dr. Michael Rich | Center on Media and Child Health

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

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Jen Gottlieb and Chris Winfield | The 51% Rule and Why You Need a Badass List Oct 11, 2020

In today’s episode, we cover connecting and commitment with Jenn Gottlieb and Chris Winfield. Jenn and Chris are the founders of Super Connector Media and have helped hundreds of humans master the art of connection.

Connecting with people takes intentional effort, but where should that effort go in today’s digital age, what can you do to take the pressure off when connecting with new people, and how can you make the best of networking during the social isolation of COVID?

What to Listen For

What question can you ask yourself to give you a jumpstart at networking?
What mindset can you adopt to take the pressure off when meeting new people and networking?
What exercise can you do to identify the badass moments you’ve had in life even if you feel you haven’t had any?
What is the Badass List and how can making one help you overcome imposter syndrome?
How do you take solid steps toward the confidence you want?
How can you make the most of networking during the social isolation of COVID?
What is the 51% Principle and how can you use it to motivate yourself to do the things you know you need to do?
What follow up strategy should you use after sending someone an initial pitch or introduction so you don’t turn them away from helping you?
What does it mean to be pleasantly persistent?
What can you do to make your LinkedIn profile stand out to potential recruiters and employers?
What tips can you implement to make Zoom meetings more engaging?

If you want to connect with a new person, the last thing you want to do is ask that person for something. That might sound obvious, but expressing something as simple as “Let’s connect” or “I’d love to pick your brain” is asking for something. Not only that, but it’s ambiguous, so the person on the receiving end doesn’t know why you want to connect or what you want to pick their brain about (and for how long (time = money)).

If you want to connect with someone new, offer that person significantly more value than what you might want from them - ideally, make it so their response takes little to no effort, but hey, we all need to start somewhere.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Resources from this Episode

Chris Winfield’s website

Jen Gottlieb’s website

Super Connector

Be On TV Bootcamp!

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Gary John Bishop’s website

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Gary John Bishop | Why You're Stuck & How to Crush Negative Self-Talk Oct 04, 2020

In today’s episode, we cover assertive self-talk with Gary John Bishop. Gary is one of the world’s leading personal development experts and the author of New York Times best-seller, Unfu*k Yourself: Get Out of Your Head and into Your Life.

How you talk to yourself can mean the difference between success and failure, but what is the “right way” to talk to yourself, how do you avoid negative self-talk, and what can you start doing today to build the future you want and deserve?

What to Listen For

What can you do to overcome a victim mentality so it doesn’t set you up for failure moving forward?
What can we do to overcome the victim mentality many of us feel after during or after a shitstorm like 2020?
Why is changing our behavior crucial to changing our lives and why is positive thinking not enough?
Why is it important for your own development to seek out challenges that force you out of your comfort zone?
What is the difference between assertive self-talk and narrative self-talk, and why should you avoid one because it sets you up for failure?
Why do words matter when it comes to describing our life experience and how do we choose words that don’t set us up for failure?
What is wisdom and what can you do to become wise?
What can you do to not get bitter or salty as you get older?
What is a shitstorm and how do they help us develop strength and wisdom?
What great exercise can you start doing today to be more positive about your future?

The words we use to describe ourselves and the world around us determine how we live our lives and express ourselves to the people we meet, so the language we use can set us up for success or failure, and beyond that, your language must be backed up by action or all the words in the world won’t save you from disaster. Everyday we wake up, we are hitting the reset button and have the opportunity to take steps toward where we want to be, or take steps away from it by doing the same things we’ve always done.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Resources from this Episode

Wise As Fu*k by Gary John Bishop

Unfu*k Yourself by Gary John Bishop

Stop Doing That Sh*t by Gary John Bishop

Do The Work by Gary John Bishop

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

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John Mackey | The Art of Conscious Leadership Sep 28, 2020

In today’s episode, we cover conscious leadership with John Mackey. John is the CEO and cofounder of Whole Foods as well as author of bestselling Conscious Capitalism and Conscious Leadership.

Being an effective leader is not just about leading the people around you, but being conscious of each individual and how you can help them grow around you, so what can you do to become a conscious leader, think about your competition in a positive way, and create an empowering environment at work and home?

What to Listen For

What is the difference between leadership and conscious leadership and how do you balance the two?
How do you lead with love in the cutthroat world of business?
How should you think about competition if you are a business owner so that you think of your competitors in a positive light rather than something that needs to be beaten?
Why is it important for conscious leaders to have a strong vision and how can not having one lead to disaster?
What 3 tips can you follow to learn from your mistakes if you want to be successful?
What signals can you look for in prospective employees for high emotional intelligence?
What can you do to create an empowering environment in your workplace?
How can you respond to criticism in a healthy positive manner?
Why is gratitude so important to being happy and what gratitude practice can you use to lead a happier and more fulfilling life?

Being conscious of the people around you takes effort, even more so when you are also in a leadership position since you are relying on the people around you for your own success and so it can be easy to forget to treat everyone the way each individual wants to be treated. But nothing worthwhile in life is obtained with ease, and the effort you put into being a conscious leader will pay off in the long run when the people around you support you and do everything they can to help you succeed.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Resources from this Episode

Conscious Leadership: Elevating Humanity Through Business by John Mackey

Conscious Capitalism: Liberating the Heroic Spirit of Business by John Mackey

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

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Jim McKelvey | The Art of Audacity and Humility Sep 21, 2020

In today’s episode, we cover the innovation stack with Jim McKelvey. Jim is an entrepreneur most known for cofounding Square and the author of The Innovation Stack: Building an Unbeatable Business One Crazy Idea at a Time.

Innovation is not something that happens when you want it to, but when you’re backed into a corner and innovation is the only way out - so what can you do to prepare yourself and your company to make sure you’re in the best place to innovate when the time comes?

What to Listen For

What does it mean to get comfortable with discomfort and why is it important if you want to survive in a rapidly changing world?
What is the difference between an entrepreneur and a business person?
How can you tell if an idea is a billion dollar idea?
What does it mean for an idea to be a billion person idea?
How does your ability to build relationships influence your ability to build a business?
Why is it important to be both audacious and humble as an entrepreneur?
What is linguistic gravity and why is it important when trying to convey the significance of an idea you have?
What is an innovation stack and why is it integral to your success as an entrepreneur?
What is LaunchCode and how is it improving the industry of software development?

Being an entrepreneur requires a certain amount of comfort with the uncomfortable. As an entrepreneur, you are doing something that has never been done before, or you’re doing something that you’ve never done before, which means there won’t be a clear cut solution to every problem you encounter. If you are not comfortable with being uncomfortable, it will be more difficult to solve the hard problems and you will be more likely to walk away after being uncomfortable for too long. The most successful entrepreneurs appreciate the feeling of discomfort because they recognize that is where the real learning and innovation takes place.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Hiring used to be hard. Multiple job sites, stacks of resumes, a confusing review process. But today, hiring can be easy and you only have to go to one place to get it done: ziprecruiter.com/CHARM. ZipRecruiter is so effective that 4 out of 5 of employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate through the site within the first day.

Resources from this Episode

The Innovation Stack by Jim McKelvey

Jim McKelvey’s website

LaunchCode - “Land Your Dream Job in Tech”

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

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Guy Raz | The Art of Inspiring Curiosity Sep 14, 2020

In today’s episode, we cover vulnerability and curiosity with Guy Raz. Guy is a host and correspondent who has interviewed more than 6,000 people, is the co-creator of How I Built This and the TED Radio Hour, and is now the author of How I Built This: The Unexpected Paths to Success from the World’s Most Inspiring Entrepreneurs.

Expressing vulnerability and genuine curiosity can lead to fantastic conversations, so what does it mean to be vulnerable in a conversation, how can you inspire others to open up more, and how do you choose to be more curious?

What to Listen For

How did Guy Raz get his start as a podcast host?
What can you do to inspire people to open up more in conversation?
What can you do if you are struggling with depression and you’re not sure where to turn?
Why are more and more people contending with depression and anxiety today and what can we do about it?
What is the secret to happiness and why is it simpler than many of us think?
How can you change the way you view risk so it doesn’t stand in your way to happiness and success?
What mindsets allow you to face down adversity when you would normally give up and walk away?
How can we help build resilience in children?
What tips can you use to build a network that will help you find fulfillment and success?
What can you do to recapture the curiosity so many of us let go of as we become adults?

A nurtured sense of curiosity is one of the most important traits you can have when it comes to engaging people in interesting conversations. A conversation is a two way street - if someone expresses a thought or feeling, curiosity about her, or her thought or feeling, is what allows you to follow up with genuine interest in what she has to say by relating to your own experience and/or asking her follow up questions that let her know what she has to say is important.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Resources from this Episode

Guy Raz’s website

How I Built This by Guy Raz

How I Built This - a podcast hosted by Guy Raz

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Vikram Mansharamani’s website

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Dr. Vikram Mansharamani | The Art of Critical Thinking Sep 07, 2020

In today’s episode, we cover how to think for yourself with Dr. Vikram Mansharamani. Dr. Vikram is a global trend-watcher who shows people how to anticipate the future, manage risk, and spot opportunities, and is the author of Think For Yourself: Restoring Common Sense in an Age of Experts and Artificial Intelligence.

We’re often told to think for ourselves, but how do you separate your thoughts from the bombardment of information we receive from our devices and the people around us and what can we do to think critically about the ideas and opinions we read and hear every day?

What to Listen For

What can you do to identify the influences in your life and keep them in check so you’re not constantly pushed in many different directions?
How do you determine what decisions in your life are worth worrying about?
What can you do to stop wasting so much time on the tougher decisions in your life so you can keep moving forward?
What can you do to confuse the algorithms to help give you more unbiased information?
What checks can you implement in your life to prevent blind dependence on technology?
How do we decide when rules should be followed or broken?
What questions can you ask to remove underlying biases for rules, recommendations, or prescriptions?
What are the four types of decisions we make and how should we approach each one?
What is the Cynefin framework and how can it help you in complex decision making?
What is the value in being a generalist vs an expert, and how do we balance the two in our own lives?
What can you do to sort through the misinformation to find the truth?

Being able to think for yourself is an increasingly important skill as we continue drowning in ideas and opinions from the people around us and screens in front of us.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Resources from this Episode

Think For Yourself by Vikram Mansharamani

The Cynefin framework

Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Busy Mind Reboot: 30 Days to Your Best Self

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Dr. Jessica Borushok | The Art of Rebooting Your Busy Mind Aug 31, 2020

In today’s episode, we cover getting unstuck from your busy mind with Dr. Jessica Borushok. Jessica is an award winning author and recognized expert in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy who has helped hundreds transform their relationship with their thoughts and optimize their world.

Busy minds keep many of us up late at night needlessly worrying, so what can we do to calm our minds so we can be more present and more productive and what does science say about why our minds race?

What to Listen For

What does science say about why our minds race when we’re bored?
What are the two ways we use social media and which one is detrimental to your mental and emotional well being?
Has technology made our minds busier, and if so, how do we deal with it?
Is an affinity for worrying a result of nature or nurture?
What question can you ask yourself to figure out if you’re worrying to solve problems or just worrying because you can’t quiet your mind?
What can you do to calm your mind when it’s racing?
What is the best way to connect with other people?
How can you know how to be authentic if you don’t know who your authentic self is?
What questions can you ask yourself to decide if your present actions are helping or hurting you?

Our minds are great at manufacturing an endless stream of thoughts, but most of our thoughts are not worth our valuable attention, otherwise we would never get anything done. We also can’t just shut our minds off because it’s the mind’s job to never stop thinking, so what can you do if you feel you are constantly overwhelmed with what is going on between your ears? Most importantly, remember that you are not your thoughts - you are the observer of your thoughts. Your mind is like a roommate you can never kick out, so it’s crucial that you build a healthy relationship with it rather than trying to fight it.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Hiring used to be hard. Multiple job sites, stacks of resumes, a confusing review process. But today, hiring can be easy and you only have to go to one place to get it done: ziprecruiter.com/CHARM. ZipRecruiter is so effective that 4 out of 5 of employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate through the site within the first day.

Resources from this Episode

The Busy Mind Psychologist - Dr. Jessica’s website

Dr. Jessica on Instagram

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Dr. Jill Stoddard’s website

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Dr. Jill Stoddard | Why Imposter Syndrome is Normal and How to Reframe it for Success Aug 24, 2020

In today’s episode, we cover imposter syndrome with Dr. Jill Stoddard. Dr. Stoddard is a psychologist, author of Be Mighty, speaker, co-host of the podcast Psychologists Off the Clock, entrepreneur, and women’s advocate.

Imposter syndrome is a fact of life for anyone who is trying to push themselves and it can lead to extreme self-sabotage if left unchecked, so what can you do to overcome it, what does the science say about the topic, and how do you talk to people about it in order to move past it?

What to Listen For

What is imposter syndrome and what can you do to overcome it so you don’t sabotage your own success?
Where does the research suggest that imposter syndrome comes from?
Why do we struggle to internalize success and what can you do to change that so you don’t feel insecure about the work you do?
What are the 5 subtypes of imposters and how can knowing yours help eliminate your insecurities?
What can you do to overcome the fear or concern around asking for help?
What can we do to counteract feelings of imposter syndrome and move forward from them?
Why is understanding your values important to overcoming your imposter syndrome and what can you do to figure out what your values are?
How do you deal with imposter syndrome if you’re constantly around people who don’t respond positively to you opening up and being vulnerable?
Why is it easier to connect with people who are open and honest about their flaws?

Imposter syndrome will always be a part of our lives if we are focused on improving ourselves, so while we cannot eliminate it, we can find ways to reframe it and minimize its impact on our daily lives.

A Word From Our Sponsors

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Resources from this Episode

Be Mighty - by Dr. Jill Stoddard

Psychologists Off the Clock - co hosted by Dr. Jill Stoddard

The 5 Subtypes of Imposters by Dr. Valerie Young

What are Your Core Values?

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Dr. Steven Hayes’s website

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Dr. Steven Hayes | The Art of Leading a Fulfilling Life Aug 17, 2020

In today’s episode, we cover how to focus on what matters most with Dr. Steven Hayes. Steven C. Hayes is a professor and author of 44 books and nearly 600 scientific articles, his career has focused on an analysis of the nature of human language and cognition and the application of this to the understanding and alleviation of human suffering.

It’s easy to let your life get derailed when you don’t have a solid understanding of what matters to you, but what can you do to determine your guiding values and how can you differentiate between the important thoughts you have and those that just distract you?

What to Listen For

What are the 6 processes can you implement to lead a more intentional life you find fulfilling?
Why is the pursuit of good feelings and avoidance of bad feelings detrimental to the human experience?
Why is it important to learn how to feel, and how do you learn how to appreciate “bad” feelings?
What exercise can you do before seeing someone to put yourself in a great mood?
How do you differentiate between thoughts that define you and thoughts that you’re experiencing, so you don’t have to feel like crap just because you’re thinking something negative about yourself?
What can you do to define your values so you have a strong guiding compass in life and don’t get bogged down by insignificant details and failures?
Should we trust our experience or our minds, and why can one lead to failure and time wasted?
What are the 3 C’s that can lead you to a more clearly defined and fulfilling life?
How can you deal with the thoughts that lead you to failure and avoidance?

There are an infinite number of things we could think about in a given day, but we only have 24 hours to experience them, so the thoughts we choose to focus on can have a lasting impact on not just our mental well being, but our long term happiness and success. Not having a solid foundation of guiding values can make it all too easy to fall into a trap of focusing on thoughts, feelings, and experiences that hold you back from becoming the person you want to be.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Whether you’re communicating with your team online or working on a project, Grammarly is the digital writing tool you can always rely on to get your message across clearly and effectively, across mobile and desktop platforms. Get 20% off Grammarly Premium when you sign up at grammarly.com/charm.

Resources from this Episode

A Liberated Mind: How to Pivot Toward What Matters by Dr Steven Hayes

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

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Dr. Stan Beecham | How to Build Belief Systems that Lead You to Success Aug 10, 2020

In today’s episode, we cover belief systems with Dr. Stan Beecham. Dr. Beecham is a sport psychologist, the director and founding member of the Leadership Resource Center, and the author of Elite Minds: How Winners Think Differently to Create a Competitive Edge and Maximize Success.

Beliefs define how we think about ourselves and the world around us, so what can you do to examine your own beliefs and understand if they are leading you to a better life or a worse one, and how can you change your beliefs if you realize they’re leading you down the wrong path?

What to Listen For

What questions can you ask yourself to better understand your beliefs and values and how they influence your behavior?
Why is it important to the people around you for you to work on yourself and constantly strive to be better?
Why is happiness the wrong goal to aim for if you want a fulfilling life, and what should you aim for instead?
Why is it important to examine your values and beliefs?
How do your beliefs and values influence your ability to pay attention and how will they prevent you from seeing a reality that will lead you to fail?
How do you rewrite the beliefs that are holding you back so you don’t miss out on countless opportunities to be successful and lead a fulfilling life?
How should we perceive confidence in a way that allows us to be more confident?
What can you do to overcome the urge to compare yourself to others?

What you believe influences how you perceive the world around you and what you get out of life. If you want to live a better life, achieve more success, or become the best version of yourself, it’s critical that you understand what you believe and why you believe what you believe. Going through life without an understanding of your beliefs and values is like wandering through a forest with a compass without understanding what north, south, east, and west are. Sure, you can follow the arrow on the compass because that seems normal, but will that get you to where you want to be? Only by sheer luck.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Resources from this Episode

Elite Minds by Dr. Beecham

Dr. Beecham on Twitter

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

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Charles Duhigg | Why You Need a Quarantine Routine Aug 03, 2020

In today’s episode, we cover the necessity of routines with Charles Duhigg. Charles is a Pulitzer-prize winning American journalist and non-fiction author, was a reporter for The New York Times, and has authored two books on habits and productivity, titled The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business and Smarter Faster Better.

Routines are more important than we give them credit for, but why, what happens if we don’t establish routines for ourselves, and how can you build a great routine even when your world has been turned upside down?

What to Listen For

Why are routines so important for humans?
What questions can you ask to spark interesting conversations instead of small talk?
How can you consume entertainment in a way that nurtures your creativity and ability to lead interesting conversations?
What can you do to find and identify experts you can trust?
How do you distinguish between someone who is genuinely seeking advice and someone who is just venting?
Why is mindset important when it comes to learning new skills?
What exercise can you start doing today if you are struggling with accepting painful events in your life?
What can you do to develop empathy and why is empathy so important today?

The word “routine” may evoke thoughts of mundaneness, or mindless repetition, but routines are incredibly important to us as humans. Routines allow us to remove the necessity of making difficult decisions by automating them. Going to the gym stops being about dragging yourself out the door and instead becomes the thing you do every morning because it’s your routine. Eating a healthy meal for lunch stops being a choice in suffering and instead becomes the part of your routine that leads to a healthier you and prevents you from giving in to cravings. Routines are important, and positive healthy routines are the key to supporting you on your path to living the life you dream of.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Resources from this Episode

How To! - a podcast hosted by Charles Duhigg

Charles Duhig’s website

The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg

Smarter Faster Better by Charles Duhigg

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Alexandra Jamieson’s website

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Bob Gower and Alexandra Jamieson | The Art of Flexible Boundaries Jul 27, 2020

In today’s episode, we answer your questions and cover the All In Method with Alexandra Jamieson and Bob Gower. Alexandra is the bestselling author of five books, and co-creator / co-star of the Oscar-nominated documentary Super Size Me, and Bob is a New York-based consultant, writer, and speaker.

All of us have different values and beliefs guiding us through life, and the differences between two people can lead to damaging friction if they are not dealt with directly, so what can you do to get everyone on the same page and working toward a common goal while respecting each other?

What to Listen For

What is the All In Method (AIM) and how can you use it to maintain and strengthen your relationships, especially with those you work with?
What questions can you ask yourself and others to develop more empathy and strengthen relationships with those you care about or work with?
What is the value of boundaries and how do you start a conversation about your boundaries?
Why can being rigid with your boundaries lead to worse outcomes than having no boundaries?
What are the common pitfalls that teams run into when trying to reach alignment?
What can examining our boundaries teach us about ourselves and the relationships we form with others?
What can you do as a parent to help your children break out of their shell so their lack of social skills don’t lead to constant failure and disappointment?
How do you express curiosity in conversations with people you’re not genuinely interested in getting to know?
Should you write down questions before going into an important interview or date or even an appointment?

The more time we spend with other people, the more likely it is that differences in personalities, values, and beliefs will lead to conflict. If that friction is not taken care of, it can destroy relationships professionally and personally. It is best to be proactive about potential problems rather than reactive, as being reactive can often mean being too late to solve a problem. And being proactive means being willing to have conversations that aren’t always easy or comfortable.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Resources from this Episode

Radical Alignment by Alexandra Jamieson and Bob Gower

Bob Gower’s website

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

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Steve Herz | Why Critical Feedback is Important and How to Ask for It Jul 20, 2020

In today’s episode, we cover critical feedback and how to ask for it with Steve Herz. Steve is President of The Montag Group, a sports and entertainment talent and marketing consultancy, and a career advisor to CEOs, lawyers, entrepreneurs, and young professionals.

Critical feedback is important for our growth, but asking for it and receiving it can be challenging because people who care about us are generally hesitant to tell us anything negative about ourselves, so what can we do to get the feedback we need to improve?

What to Listen For

Why is critical feedback important to our growth and success, and how can we get better at receiving it?
What can you do to get the feedback you need to grow in a culture where people seem to coddle each other out of fear of how you might respond to critical feedback?
How do you ask for feedback in such a way that allows people to feel comfortable offering critical feedback rather than just saying something to make you feel good?
How much of your success is determined by your proficiency versus your ability to connect with others?
What steps can you take today to improve your ability to effectively communicate and connect with others so you don’t get passed up on job opportunities and promotions?
What is the 360 review and how can it save you from ending up in terrible situations?
Why is warmth important in building relationships and why can your aversion to it lead to failure in life?
What can you do to work on your humility?
How do energy and warmth work together when you are interacting with others, and what can you do to improve both while staying true to who you are?

Critical feedback is important because you only have your perspective on what you are doing. So if you are always doing something incorrect while you believe it to be correct, how are you going to correct what you’re doing wrong if no one tells you. Unfortunately, the people who know us best will likely be hesitant to tell us when we’re doing something wrong out of fear of confrontation, or hurting our feelings, or just wanting to avoid a potentially awkward situation. This means we must make it easy and comfortable for the people who care about us to give us the feedback we need to be our best selves.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Whether you’re communicating with your team online or working on a project, Grammarly is the digital writing tool you can always rely on to get your message across clearly and effectively, across mobile and desktop platforms. Get 20% off Grammarly Premium when you sign up at grammarly.com/charm.

Resources from this Episode

Don’t Take Yes for an Answer by Steve Herz

Steve Herz’s website

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

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Dr. Gervais | The Art of Self-Mastery and Becoming Who You’re Meant to Be Jul 13, 2020

In today’s episode, we cover what it means to achieve mastery of a subject or skill with Dr. Michael Gervais, a high performance psychologist working in the trenches of high-stakes environments with some of the best in the world, training the mindset skills and practices essential to pursuing and revealing one’s potential

Mastering anything takes some talent, but it also takes consistent practice and a persistent mindset, so what can you do to cultivate the mindset required for mastery, what do you need to push through the pain along the way, and how can comparing your journey to others stop you from achieving your potential?

What to Listen For

What does it mean to achieve mastery of a skill or subject, and why can comparing our progress to others hinder our ability to achieve mastery?
Why is it important for your mental and physical well being to live in the present moment?
What steps can you take today to make sure you are focused on the present so you don’t get depressed about the past or anxious about the future?
How important is your mindset if you already have talent and skill?
How can you use self-talk to build your confidence so you feel comfortable taking on new challenges?
What can you do to eliminate the self doubt that comes from comparing yourself to others?
What question can you ask yourself to make sure you’re trying to get better rather than comparing your progress to others?
How do you sort through conflicting advice on your way to mastering something?
What can we do to let go of who we are now in order to become who we’re meant to be?

Everyone is born with varying levels of aptitude in different areas, but just because you don’t have the genetics to be the best in the world at something, it doesn’t mean you can’t strive to master it. Mastery of a skill takes time, and if you didn’t win the genetic lottery, it’s going to take years of hard work. In order to push through the pain and suffering along the way, your mindset is as critical as your purpose, because if you don’t have a purpose guiding your mindset through the pain, the pain will win.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Resources from this Episode

Compete to Create

Finding Mastery - a podcast hosted by Dr. Gervais

Dr. Gervais on Twitter

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

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Keith Ferrazzi | The Art of Strength and Vulnerability in Leadership Jul 06, 2020

In today’s episode, we cover with Keith Ferrazzi what it means to lead without authority. Keith is an American entrepreneur, recognized global thought leader in the relational and collaborative sciences, and NYT best selling author of Leading Without Authority and Never Eat Alone.

There is more to leadership than telling other people what to do, so what does it mean to lead without authority, what can you do today to become a better leader, and how can you inspire vulnerability and empathy in the people around you?

What to Listen For

What can you do as a leader to create a great space for people to be vulnerable, therefore allowing stronger bonds to form?
Why are intimacy and empathy crucial to forming strong bonds with the people around you and what can you do to foster such an environment?
How much vulnerability is too much when you’re in a position of leadership?
What does co-elevation mean and why is it important to have co-elevating relationships with the people around us?
How do you set boundaries for your generosity so you don’t get taken advantage of?
What is the Blue Flame in all of us and why is it important to see it in others and nurture it so it can bloom?

Being a leader doesn’t mean you tell other people what to do. It means you inspire those around you who then choose to follow you. When you are a leader, people should trust you to provide guidance for them and make the best decisions given the circumstances. You do not need to have authority over other humans in order to do any of that - but you do need trust and respect. Work on building strong relationships with the people around you and you will become a better leader.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Resources from this Episode

Leading Without Authority by Keith Ferrazzi

Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi

Keith Ferrazzi’s website

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Pivot & Go: The 29-Day Blueprint to Redefine and Achieve YOUR Success

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David Nurse | 7 Steps to Unshakable Confidence Jun 29, 2020

In today’s episode, we cover the 7 steps to unshakable confidence with David Nurse. David is an NBA life and optimization coach, future bestselling author, and worldwide motivational speaker.

Confidence can be developed with consistent practice like any other skill, but what concrete steps can you take everyday to achieve the confidence you’ve always wanted?

What to Listen For

What is the common denominator of professional athletes that lead to success?
Can you compare yourself to others in a healthy and positive way?
How do you get people to be good teammates if they’re more concerned about themselves or their ego?
What are the 7 steps you can take to achieve unshakable confidence?
What does it mean to vote for yourself and why should you start voting for yourself now?
What can you do to remind yourself of your potential to keep you from wasting time and falling into stagnation?
What tips can you use to make your mornings and evenings effective parts of your day?
How do you rewire your brain for the behavior you want, so your behavior doesn’t sabotage your relationships, your work, and your life?

Confidence is not something we are born with, but a skill we develop over time. That means no matter your circumstances, you have a certain level of confidence and you can apply consistent practice over time to increase it. In fact, you can take small steps every day, and after enough small steps, you’ll have made leaps in progress. But you must be consistent and keep reminding yourself that no matter how confident you are, there is always room for improvement, so arrogance is never acceptable, as arrogance implies you already know everything you need to know.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Resources from this Episode

David Nurse’s website

David Nurse on Twitter

David Nurse on Instagram

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Patrick McGinnis’s website

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Patrick McGinnis | The Art of Overcoming FOMO Jun 22, 2020

In today’s episode, we answer your questions and cover FOMO with the person who coined the term, Patrick McGinnis. Patrick is a venture capitalist, writer, and speaker who coined the term FOMO, which was added to the Oxford English Dictionary in 2013.

FOMO is nothing new but it seems worse now that we have endless options at our fingertips via the internet and social media, so how can we minimize the negative impacts of it and even turn it around and use it to help us make better decisions?

What to Listen For

What is FOMO and how does it challenge you when it comes to making small and big decisions?
Does FOMO subside as we age?
How has the COVID pandemic impacted our FOMO and will it be better or worse after pandemic passes?
What does FOBO mean and how is it different from FOMO?
Why is FOMO good for us and how do you prevent it from ruining your ability to enjoy life?
When faced with a big decision and heavy FOMO, what can you do to make the best decision for your future without regretting the other options?
What can you do to make time for self-development if you feel your days are consumed by other responsibilities and obligations?
What is FOGO and why is it so relevant right now?

The fear of missing out is nothing new, but with the evolution of the internet and social media, it can be crippling to many people who don’t live an intentional life inline with their values. If you’re always on the lookout for “THE BEST THING” then your life will be a constant cycle of dipping your toes in the water without committing to jumping in, and while dipping your toes in water can be refreshing, you are missing out on actually being in the water, getting better at swimming, making long lasting friendships, so on and so forth. The key is to figure out what you stand for and what you want out of life, so you can make simple and complex decisions without stressing too much over whether or not it’s “THE BEST” decision.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Whether you’re a professional working at a traditional, home or remote office our new sponsor, Fully, is here to transform your workplace with furniture designed for health, flow and balance. And right now, you can save $50 off the Jarvis standing desk when you visit fully.com/CHARM. Fully—everything you need to make your workflow.

Resources from this Episode

Fomosapiens - podcast hosted by Patrick McGinnis

The 10% Entrepreneur - by Patrick McGinnis

Fear of Missing Out - by Patrick McGinnis

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

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Dan Harris | The Art of Mindfulness for Skeptics Jun 15, 2020

Do you want to have control over your mentality and reactions?

On today’s episode of the Art of Charm podcast, AJ Harbinger and Johnny Dzubak are joined by Dan Harris, the co-anchor of ABC News' Nightline and author of the bestselling book 10% Happier. Dan discusses his work with 10% Happier, the importance of meditation, and it's functionality.

Tune in to get in tune with your mental wellbeing.

Episode Resources:

What you’ll learn:

[00:01:17] What is the benefit of living in a big city during the pandemic
It’s a gamble to be in cities during the pandemic with high population density as it’s easier to pass illness where more people are gathered.
[00:06:55] How do you get out of the loop of uncertainty in goal orientation and accountability towards future planning and events
Focusing on mental health and doing activities like meditation to assist those efforts.
[00:13:39] How did Dan’s mind become open to working with meditation
There was a lot of evidence that strongly suggests that there's a lot of health benefits to meditation.
[00:18:55] What are the benefits of meditation
Mindfulness, calming the mind, concentration, being able to act and feel consciously, slowing your blood pressure, boosting your immune system, rewiring key parts of your brain associated with stress, self-awareness, and focus in this era of distraction.
[00:28:15] Why are we in this fight or flight system currently, and why is it running so high?
It’s a human design flaw where we are inappropriately triggered by smaller confrontations.
[00:31:42] What are guaranteed method for stress reduction when you're feeling lonely, uncertain, despondent about the state of the world
It’s useful to be informed but not drowning in constant updates and drama. Also giving and helping others can help make you feel validated.
[00:47:18] Why does it feel so contradictory to practice mindfulness and compassion in giving you an edge in this neverending competition of life
We misinterpret happiness and make assumptions. There’s a correlation to zen and passiveness. Having structure and focus in mind helps you win.
[00:55:21] How can we balance being nice for selfish reasons
Use wise selfishness and orient your life around service to be more successful. Boosting self-compassion can lead to compassion towards others.
[01:07:56] Where do you progress once you get basic meditation down?
There is no next level but to consistently work out the brain, and is effective in letting meditation keep your behavior and mindset healthy.

Check-in with AJ and Johnny!

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5 Values, Actions, and Charities to Help Support Black Lives Matter Jun 08, 2020

On this special episode of the Art of Charm podcast, we're digging into 5 values and how they relate to the current issues that we're facing, 5 things that we think everyone should be doing to become more informed to start taking action, and finally 5 of our favorite charities to help start pushing the social needle in the right direction.

Episode Resources:

A Word From Our Sponsors

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Jonah Berger | The Art of Persuasion Jun 01, 2020

In today’s episode, we cover what it means to change someone’s mind with Jonah Berger. Jonah is a marketing professor at the Wharton School at the University of Pennsylvania and internationally bestselling author of Contagious, Invisible Influence, and The Catalyst: How to Change Anyone’s Mind.

The art of persuading others goes back as far as humans have had ideas we wanted to convey to others, but what does it mean to change someone’s mind, how do we persuade people to change, and how can your understanding of persuasion save you from getting sold on bad ideas?

What to Listen For

Why are we as humans so resistant to changing our minds?
What are the 5 roadblocks to change and how can we remove them so we and those around us can grow?
What strategies can we use to get people to buy into an idea rather than trying to push the idea onto them?
How can you ask the right questions to allow people to make better decisions?
What can we do to create a catalyst for other people to change?
Why is DropBox a great example of removing roadblocks that enable more people to try your product?
Why is it important for people to feel they have a sense of agency when you’re trying to persuade them to make a change or purchase?
Has it become harder to persuade people of good ideas in the age of information?
How should you deal with awkward pauses in conversation?
How important is body language when persuading someone and how do you take that into consideration when you’re on a phone call or Zoom meeting?

Persuading others is not so much about changing people’s minds as it is conveying information and allowing people to process it to arrive at the same conclusion you have. We as humans do not like feeling as if our behavior or choices are dictated to us by someone else, so if you want to convince someone that something is a good idea, you can’t just tell them it’s a good idea and they should believe it - you have to be able to show them the same information you have and let them make up their mind about it.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Resources from this Episode

Catalyst: How to Change Anyone’s Mind by Jonah Berger

Jonah Berger’s website

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Andrew Horn | The Art of Emotional Mastery May 25, 2020

Technology has had an undeniable impact on our society, in good and bad ways, so what are the bad ways, how can we mitigate the damage they cause, and what can we do to use these tools for good in our lives and those around us?

What to Listen For

What is the ICAN acronym and how can it help you achieve a social flow state and help you be your most authentic self?
What questions can you ask yourself to stay mindful as we continue integrating technology into our daily lives?
What is passive browsing versus active browsing and why does one have a negative impact on your well being?
What can you do if you feel your team is missing the energy and motivation you were hoping for?
How can you make Zoom meetings fun and engaging when everyone seems preoccupied with what’s going on around them?
What simple, free technique can you implement as a leader to improve your team’s effectiveness as well as your well being and effectiveness?
What is social flow, why do you need to understand it, and how can you tap into it to be your best self?
What follow up questions can you ask the men in your life when they answer with “Good” or “I’m fine”?
How can we build our curiosity muscle if we find ourselves not being that curious?
What things typically hold men back from emotional mastery and what can you do to work toward emotional mastery?
What can you do to improve the toxic relationships in your life that always lead to arguments?

We live in a state of constant experimentation to understand ourselves, each other, and the world around us. As a result, we create things with the intention of doing good, only to find out later that the results are a mixed bag. Social media and communication are great examples as they have connected the world, but led to mental health issues springing up all over the place. As we move forward, it becomes increasingly important to be mindful of what we are putting out into the world for millions or billions of people to use, and how it can impact our society as a whole. No one will be able to take everything into consideration, but it’s better than not trying and seeing what happens.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Even with a balanced diet, it’s difficult to cover all of your nutritional bases. Developed from a complex blend of 75 vitamins, minerals and whole food sourced ingredients, Athletic Greens is a greens superfood powder designed to help fill the nutritional gaps in your diet. Visit AthleticGreens.com/CHARM to claim OUR special offer of 20 FREE daily travel packs with your first purchase, a $79 added value, and get Athletic Greens delivered straight to your door.

Resources from this Episode

Andrew Horn’s website

What’s the Big Idea - Andrew Horn’s podcast

Tribute.co

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Happier with Gretchen Rubin

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Gretchen Rubin | Happiness and the Four Tendencies May 18, 2020

Many of us have heard the phrase, “Happiness is a choice” - but what does a happiness expert think about that and what can you do if you feel like you’re unable to make that choice?

What to Listen For

What are the Four Tendencies and how do they determine how you respond to expectations and your ability to be happy?
What’s the alternative if you feel you can’t just choose to be happy?
What steps can you take in your environment that will make it easier to be happy?
What does it mean for emotions to be contagious and how can your understanding of it help prevent you from feeling down?
How do novelty and challenge contribute so significantly to your ability to be happy?
What can you do to raise your self-awareness?
What can you do if you find yourself being the victim of analysis paralysis so you don’t waste too much time thinking about a decision?
Once you understand your tendency, how do you recognize the Four Tendencies in others and what is the best way to work with them or help them reach their potential on a team?

We cannot make ourselves happy by focusing on our external environment, but it can help to minimize the work we have to do to be happy. Our personalities are made up of the tendencies and habits we have formed over the years, so the more aware you are of your tendencies and habits, the easier it can be for you to make the decisions which will lead to you being less miserable and more happy. Happiness is a choice, but certain things in your life can make the difference between that choice feeling easy, and that choice feeling impossible, and the more you understand yourself, your environment, and the people you spend time with, the easier that choice can be.

A Word From Our Sponsors

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Resources from this Episode

Outer Order, Inner Calm by Gretchen Rubin

The Four Tendencies Quiz

Gretchen Rubin’s website

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dan Heath | The Art of Upstream Thinking and Problem Solving May 11, 2020

It’s no surprise that many of us can be overwhelmed with the day-to-day events of our lives, so how are we supposed to plan for so many unforeseen events like the COVID-19 pandemic, what is upstream thinking and why is it relevant today more than ever?

What to Listen For

What is the difference between upstream and downstream thinking and why can one lead you to a life of cyclical misery?
What is unique about the American healthcare system that has led to us only focusing downstream?
What is quiet competence and why does it make us less attentive to potential catastrophes?
How can we get people to think more upstream so we are not impacted so negatively by crises?
What is psychological standing and how does it prevent you from doing the right thing in a wide range of situations we find ourselves in regularly?
What are the 7 questions leaders need to ask themselves if they don’t want to fail miserably at handling the next upstream problem?
What can you do to unite the right people to handle a complicated problem like the COVID-19 pandemic?

Being able to think clearly about the future and contemplate solutions to problems likely to arise is becoming more and more important as society and technology continue evolving faster than we can keep up. This is why upstream thinking is so important - many of us are caught up in the rush of everyday life and we count on our leaders to know what to do when problems arise, but it seems our leaders are also forgetting to think far enough ahead, leading us to find ourselves in the predicam we’re in now with COVID-19.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

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Even with a balanced diet, it’s difficult to cover all of your nutritional bases. Developed from a complex blend of 75 vitamins, minerals and whole food sourced ingredients, Athletic Greens is a greens superfood powder designed to help fill the nutritional gaps in your diet. Visit AthleticGreens.com/CHARM to claim OUR special offer of 20 FREE daily travel packs with your first purchase, a $79 added value, and get Athletic Greens delivered straight to your door.

Is there something interfering with your happiness, or preventing you from achieving your goals? BetterHelp will assess your needs and match you with your own licensed professional therapist AND you can start communicating in less than 24 hours! Visit betterhelp.com/CHARM to get 10% off your first month and join the over 700,000 people taking charge of their mental health with the help of an experienced professional.

Resources from this Episode

Upstream: The Quest to Solve Problems Before They Happen by Dan Heath

Dan Heath’s website

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Dr. Domenick Sportelli on Instagram

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Dr. Domenick Sportelli | The Art of Overcoming Uncertainty May 04, 2020

In today’s episode, we cover dealing with uncertainty and stress with Dr. Domenick Sportelli. Dr. Domenick is a board certified physician in adult general psychiatry and child & adolescent psychiatry, and is widely sought-after for his expertise on the latest in medical behavioral health, child/family psychiatry, and neuropharmacology.

Introduction

This is an era of uncertainty we haven’t faced in this generation and it’s wreaking havoc on many of us psychologically, so what can you do to better cope with the stress and loneliness you might be feeling and what should you be doing as a parent to be a good role model for your kids?

What to Listen For

How do we deal with uncertainty and stress many of us are dealing with in isolation?
How much of a psychological toll is the pandemic taking on medical professionals?
What kind of psychological fallout will we be facing as we recover from the COVID-19 pandemic and what can we do to prepare ourselves?
What should we tell our kids about COVID-19 and how do we talk to them about what’s going on?
How do you find the silver lining during this crazy time of uncertainty?
Why are gratitude and resilience so important during this pandemic?
What rules can you set up to foster creativity in your kids so they don’t just resort to sitting in front of devices all day?
How do we deal with the loneliness epidemic while we’re practicing social distancing?
Why is having a schedule more important than ever and how should we schedule time for socializing?
How do we manage all of the emotions we’re feeling just from the uncertainty of not knowing how long this pandemic will last?
How do we deal with rise in tension in our relationships stemming from being isolated with each other all the time?
What 3 questions can you ask yourself everyday to make your life better?

Humans excel psychologically when following a consistent routine, and when the certainty of a routine is taken away it can lead to significant stress. The COVID-19 pandemic resulted in many of our routines being upended with no clear end in sight, so it’s important now more than ever to take it upon ourselves to determine our own routines. This is especially true for those of us with kids because kids need structure the most.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Resources from this Episode

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

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Yes Theory | The Art of Facing Your Fears Apr 27, 2020

Being stuck at home right now can feel like you’re putting your life on pause, but it doesn’t have to - so what can you do to keep working on yourself especially when it comes to being social or stretching your comfort zone?

What to Listen For

How did Yes Theory get their start and what can you learn from them that could enable you to achieve your dreams so faster than you thought possible?
Why is it important to try things that scare you?
How do you know when you’ve done enough planning before doing?
When was the tipping point for the Art of Charm?
How do you improve your social skills if you’re scared to go out and talk to strangers?
When can you take advantage of practicing small talk with minimal effort to improve your social skills?
What’s the first step you can take to build a growth mindset during or after the quarantine period?
How do you stay motivated in the dating world when regular rejection is an integral part of the process?

If you want to achieve great things for yourself, it’s important to cultivate a growth mindset, and a growth mindset is more important now than ever. Those with a growth mindset and determination will use this pandemic as an opportunity to push themselves while others are scared or putting their lives on pause to see what happens next. And if you feel like you don’t have a growth mindset, have no fear, it’s never too late to adopt one.

A Word From Our Sponsors

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Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Resources from this Episode

Yes Theory website

Yes Theory on YouTube

Yes Theory on Twitter

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

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The Art of Overcoming Fear of Failure with Jon Taffer Apr 20, 2020

This is a trying time for the restaurant industry and any business that relies on social gathering, so what can business owners do to not only survive this pandemic, but thrive in it and after it?

What to Listen For

What does the future of the restaurant industry look like in a post COVID world and how might restaurants need to evolve in order to survive?
Why do we have to motivate and communicate differently at work during this pandemic, and what is the best way to do both?
How can this pandemic have a disastrous lingering effect on our ability to move forward as a society and what can we do to save ourselves from the aftermath?
What should restaurants do to adapt during this pandemic so they can survive until things are normal again?
What can we do to support the restaurant industry during this incredibly difficult time when people are avoiding going out?
How do you view a crisis as an opportunity so you can come out ahead when so many people are complaining and just treading water or giving up?
What can you do to help someone realize they need to hold themselves accountable for their own failure?
Why can conflict be a great thing on a personal level and what can we do to view conflict in a more positive light so we can get better at handling it rather than retreating from it and going against our own values?
What can you do to isolate the troublemaker on the team so they don’t cause anymore trouble for the rest?

While crises are an unfortunate inevitability in life, you don’t have to let them kick you to the ground and keep you there. Every crisis is an opportunity but you must be willing to view it as an opportunity in order to take advantage of it. What are you going to do to stop playing the victim and take charge of your circumstances to help you succeed and thrive?

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Even with a balanced diet, it’s difficult to cover all of your nutritional bases. Developed from a complex blend of 75 vitamins, minerals and whole food sourced ingredients, Athletic Greens is a greens superfood powder designed to help fill the nutritional gaps in your diet. Visit AthleticGreens.com/CHARM to claim OUR special offer of 20 FREE daily travel packs with your first purchase, a $79 added value, and get Athletic Greens delivered straight to your door.

Resources from this Episode

Jon Taffer’s website

The Jon Taffer Podcast

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Podcast Episode: The Art of Overcoming Procrastination with Adam Grant

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How to Give without Getting Taken Advantage of with Adam Grant Apr 16, 2020

It can be difficult to get ahead at work when someone else is always taking credit for what the team does, but what can you do to deal with selfish individuals in a professional manner, how can you be a giver and not get taken advantage of, and how do matchers balance givers and takers?

What to Listen For

What are 5 minute favors and how can you use them to build a powerful network?
How do you deal with selfish personalities who always try to take credit for the success of the team?
What can you do if you’re a giver (versus a taker) and you’re struggling to show your value in the workplace?
What are matchers and why are they important to balance givers and takers?
What would Adam Grant change about “Give and Take” if he were to rewrite it today?
What question should you ask a hiring manager to get an actual understanding of a company’s culture?
Are extroverts better leaders than introverts?

While it’s frowned upon to be a taker, it’s also not great for your own well being to be too much of a giver, especially if you’re not great at setting and maintaining boundaries. Being generous is a great thing, but if you’re not taking care of yourself and if you don’t have a strong sense of self-worth, it can be easy to feel like you are getting taken advantage of by people.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Resources from this Episode

Adam Grant’s website

Give and Take: Why Helping Others Drives Our Success by Adam Grant

Core Confidence

Worklife - a podcast hosted by Adam Grant

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Art of Overcoming Procrastination with Adam Grant Apr 13, 2020

Procrastination is associated with laziness by many, but the science shows us otherwise - so if procrastinators aren’t lazy then why do we assume they are, what can you do about your procrastination if you want to change it, and why is now the best time to overcome your procrastination habit?

What to Listen For

What can you do today to overcome your procrastination habits?
How do we redesign jobs that now have to operate from a distance?
Why is it more challenging to work remotely and what can you do to overcome them so you don’t lose your job?
What questions can you ask someone to help them figure out what motivates them so you can help them become a happier and more productive employee?
What can we do as leaders to help our coworkers and employees grapple with the loneliness that accompanies working from home for many people?
What is one of the most powerful antidotes to loneliness that we can give people any time?
What simple exercise can you go through with your employees or coworkers to immediately improve their creativity and productivity?
What can you do to immediately win the battle over procrastination while you’re working from home?
How can you break down your procrastination into understandable chunks so you can easily overcome them?
What does the science say about the ideal workplace environment so you can make your office more conducive to your work?
What should we be most concerned about as we come out of this quarantine and will we be able to return to normal?

If you find yourself procrastinating, it’s not necessarily a problem with your work ethic, but can certainly be a problem with your ability to regulate your emotions. When confronted with a task that makes you feel uncomfortable (angry, uncertainty, frustrated, annoyed, anxious, etc), procrastination can kick in to help you avoid feeling those things. So what can you do to mitigate these responses and overcome your procrastination before it costs you an awesome opportunity? Tune in to find out!

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Whether you’re a professional working at a traditional, home or remote office our new sponsor, Fully, is here to transform your workplace with furniture designed for health, flow and balance. And right now, you can save $50 off the Jarvis standing desk when you visit fully.com/CHARM. Fully—everything you need to make your work flow.

Is there something interfering with your happiness, or preventing you from achieving your goals? BetterHelp will assess your needs and match you with your own licensed professional therapist AND you can start communicating in less than 24 hours! Visit betterhelp.com/CHARM to get 10% off your first month and join the over 700,000 people taking charge of their mental health with the help of an experienced professional.

Resources from this Episode

Adam Grant’s website

Give and Take: Why Helping Others Drives Our Success by Adam Grant

Core Confidence

Worklife - a podcast hosted by Adam Grant

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Leadership & Productivity in a Remote Workplace with Kevin Kruse

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The Art of Being Social During Coronavirus (Social Distancing Edition) Apr 06, 2020

If you are now working remotely and socially distancing yourself, it doesn’t mean you have to stop being social or let your productivity slide, but what can you do to work on your social skills, grow your network, and knock your productivity out of the park so you can come out the other side of this with countless opportunities?

What to Listen For

What can you do to work on your social skills when we’re trying to socially isolate ourselves?
How do you stay social when going out and meeting people isn’t an option?
What can you do to stay focused and energized when working from home?
How do you work on building your professional network when more and more conferences and networking events are being cancelled as people embrace social distancing?
What can you say when you’re trying to reach out to people you’ve never met but wanted to?
How can you be productive when working from home and why is it so important to maintain the same routine you use when at the office?
What should you focus on when establishing a remote work environment and routine?
What can you do to completely upgrade your productivity at home if you’re not used to working at home?
Why does physical exercise play such a positive role in your daily routine, especially when you’re working from home?
What can you do to turn this remote working situation into a long term opportunity so you won’t have to go into the office as much once the pandemic is over?

If you want to relax during this pandemic and enjoy the time you have away from work and with your family, by all means, do the thing that is going to bring you security and fulfillment during these chaotic times. However, if you want to take this amazing opportunity to improve yourself personally, socially, and professionally, there are a number of things you can do everyday to practice your social skills, develop your network, and show your boss you can be more productive at home and build the trust necessary to allow you to work remotely even when the dust has settled.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Resources from this Episode

The Art of Charm Accelerator Program

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

The Art of Charm on Twitter

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Leadership & Productivity in a Remote Workplace with Kevin Kruse Mar 30, 2020

You don’t need to be in a leadership position in order to be a leader, but what does it mean to be a leader no matter where you are and how can you develop your leadership skills in today’s world?

What to Listen For

What can we do to become the leaders that are needed during this pandemic?
How should we approach the creation of rules and standards in a professional setting and why can it be detrimental if just one person is responsible for such things?
Why is it important to live a value-driven life both professionally and personally, and why are values more important than rules?
How can an open-door policy in companies be detrimental to productivity and what should you implement in place of it that still allows for open communication?
What are the 3 parts we should divide our days into and why can the structure have such a profound impact on our fulfillment and productivity?
How can living by a calendar make you more productive than making to-do lists to accomplish the same tasks?
What can you do to be more productive if you’re struggling to work from home during this pandemic?
What are the 3 agreements remote workers can discuss in order for remote workers to come up with a healthy, productive routine when everyone is used to being in the same office together?
What can you do to work on building a network while we are emphasizing social distancing?
Is it too late to start an online business as we enter this recession amidst a pandemic?
What can you do to be more social when everyone is trying to socially distance themselves?

Leadership is a set of skills anyone can develop no matter where you are because being a leader doesn’t mean you are in charge of employees or ordering people around. Leadership can be asking a coworker what they think about a relevant topic during a meeting, or organizing a group Skype call with family members around the country. Leadership can be as simple as taking the initiative to do something and inviting others to join you.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Resources from this Episode

LEADx website

Great Leaders Have No Rules by Kevin Kruse

15 Secrets Successful People Know About Time Management by Kevin Kruse

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Art of Overcoming Social Anxiety with Mark Metry Mar 23, 2020

Social anxiety has an impact that goes far beyond a discomfort interacting with people and can lead to substance abuse, depression, and suicidal ideation, so what can you do to overcome your social anxiety, how do your diet and physical health impact it, and how is technology playing a significant role in all of this?

What to Listen For

What is social anxiety and how do we deal with it during COVID-19 when social distancing is important?
How do we deal with social anxiety now that social distancing is becoming a normal part of our daily lives?
How did Mark Metry overcome his social anxiety and what can you learn from his journey so you can overcome your social anxiety before it ruins your life?
How does your gut microbiome influence your social anxiety and mental wellbeing?
How can looking at yourself in terms of hardware and software with regards to your self-development journey blow open your perspective on your overall health?
Why is it important to tackle social anxiety after you’ve established a strong physical and mental foundation with a healthy diet and regular exercise?
What can you do to make sure you’re using technology and it’s not using you?
How is social anxiety tied to substance abuse, depression, and suicide and what can you do to overcome your social anxiety so you can live a more fulfilling life?

Many of us deal with social anxiety in varying degrees and in different situations. Someone might experience social anxiety talking to a group of people but be perfectly comfortable saying hi to a stranger. Someone else might experience social anxiety talking to their boss at work, but feel right at home at networking events. For some of us, it’s a mild obstacle we force ourselves through when we need to, but for others it can be a serious concern and have long lasting effects on your potential and happiness, not to mention your lifespan if it leads you down a path of self-isolation and depression.

Social anxiety can feel overwhelming, but you can overcome it. You can bounce back and become the best version of yourself that you want to be. But you have to be willing to take that first step and start living a healthy life - your mental and emotional well being are directly influenced by the food you put in your mouth and how often you exercise the only body you get.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Hiring used to be hard. Multiple job sites, stacks of resumes, a confusing review process. But today, hiring can be easy and you only have to go to one place to get it done: ziprecruiter.com/CHARM. ZipRecruiter is so effective that 4 out of 5 of employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate through the site within the first day.

Resources from this Episode

Mark Metry’s Website

Humans 2.0 Podcast hosted by Mark Metry

Mark Metry on Twitter

Screw Being Shy by Mark Metry

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Rituals and Meaning with Sasha Sagan Mar 16, 2020

Rituals are powerful tools cultures have used for all of recorded history to strengthen group bonds, so how do rituals bring us closer, why are rituals so commonly associated with religion, and what can you do to develop your own rituals to bring you and your family and friends closer together?

What to Listen For

Why is it so important to encourage curiosity in children and what can you do to impart a sense of curiosity in your kids?
Why is a tolerance for ambiguity difficult but crucial in the scientific search for knowledge and understanding of the world around us?
What was it like growing up as the child of Carl Sagan and Ann Druyan?
How do we use rituals to deal with change and how can you use rituals to minimize the suffering you will experience throughout life?
What should you say to someone who hasjust lost a loved one and doesn’t necessarily hold religious beliefs about an afterlife?
What rituals can we use to help us cope with painful events in life and why can not having a ritual amplify the intensity and duration of the pain?
How can having a simple regular ritual strengthen your relationships and what fun easy ritual can you start using today?
What is the difference between a routine and a ritual?
How can you get children involved in building family rituals so everyone is involved and the family grows stronger?
What can you do to remix old traditions or even create new ones you can use to build meaning in the big and small moments of your life?
How do you tell the difference between cynicism and skepticism, and why can that understanding completely change your view of people?

The word ritual is on many occasions associated with religion. That’s a logical jump to make considering how ritualistic many religions are. But rituals can be any kind of practice or routine you use on a regular basis to be present and share a moment or event with yourself or other people. We can create and use rituals in our lives to help us celebrate certain moments. We don’t have to use religious holidays to celebrate certain times of the year, as cultures have been creating their own holidays and celebrations since the dawn of man. And no one’s stopping you from celebrating the rituals of your faith(s) and creating some rituals of your own to celebrate your family or friends or even just yourself.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Resources from this Episode

Value Driven Success Video Training by The Art of Charm

For Small Creatures Such as We by Sasha Sagan

Sasha Sagan’s website

Sasha Sagan on Twitter

Sasha Sagan on Instagram

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Charisma: An Ill-Defined and Ill-Measured Gift

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The Art of Charisma Toolbox Mar 09, 2020

Charisma is not something you are born with, so what can you do to develop your own charisma, what does it even mean to have charisma, and what does the science say about this seemingly abstract human quality?

What to Listen For

What is charisma and why is it important?
What are the three factors that go into being charismatic and what can you do to become more charismatic?
Are you born with charisma or is it something you can teach and learn?
Why are we drawn to charismatic individuals?
How can you stay true to yourself and be charismatic if you don’t feel you’re a charismatic person?
How do presence, enthusiasm, and confidence play a role in your natural charisma?
What questions can you ask yourself to know exactly what to work on to become more charismatic?
Why is active listening integral to being charismatic, and what can you do to improve your ability to listen?
Why are people drawn more toward optimists than pessimists, and how can you become more optimistic?
Why does it make you more charismatic if you don’t care what other people think about you?
What can you do to become more confident?
How does being assertive contribute to your confidence and charisma?

Charisma is one of those human qualities many people refer to as if it’s some mysterious genetic gift a few people are born with. But what if I told you that you can develop your own charisma in the same way you can develop a skill - like painting, running, or even chess. Once you understand the three components that factor into your own charisma, you’ll be able to see just how straightforward it can be to become the most charismatic version of who you want to be.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Is there something interfering with your happiness, or preventing you from achieving your goals? BetterHelp will assess your needs and match you with your own licensed professional therapist AND you can start communicating in less than 24 hours! Visit betterhelp.com/CHARM to get 10% off your first month and join the over 700,000 people taking charge of their mental health with the help of an experienced professional.

Whether you’re a professional working at a traditional, home or remote office our new sponsor, Fully, is here to transform your workplace with furniture designed for health, flow and balance. And right now, you can save $50 off the Jarvis standing desk when you visit fully.com/CHARM. Fully—everything you need to make your work flow.

Resources from this Episode

Episode 725 - Boost Your Emotional Intelligence w/ Michael Ventura

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How To Handle Awkward Social Interactions with Miki Agrawal Mar 02, 2020

Authenticity is a powerful concept because many of us are scared of what other people might think of us if we were to be as weird as we know we are all the time, and consequently many of us hide the fun and interesting bits that make us who we are - so why do we care, why should we stop putting so much emphasis on what we think others want us to be, and what can you do when every social platform is signaling to you that the only parts worth living are the ones that get the most likes?

What to Listen For

What does it mean to be a disruptive innovator?
How do you educate people without being preachy?
What can you do to build up a tolerance for rejection so you don’t miss out on countless opportunities just because you walked away at “no”?
If you have perfectionist tendencies, what can you do to make sure it doesn’t stop you from completing something or just moving on without it?
What can you do if you feel like you are trying to fit yourself into a box that society wants for you rather than what YOU want for you?
What does it mean to be more authentic in today’s world where so many people are encouraged to instead put on a show to get other people’s attention?
How can you flip negative emotions on their heads with one simple trick?
What can you do to encourage others to tell their stories without resorting to 1-2 sentence responses?
How can you ask questions that evoke thoughtful responses instead of 1-2 words?
What mental exercise can you do before any important thing or event you have coming up in your life to make sure you’re genuinely present and relaxed?
What can you do to come across as open and friendly without making people think you’re inviting them to ask you out?
How do you politely reject someone who asks you out, especially in a work environment?
What’s the best way to make a career change when you realize you’re not happy with the job you thought would bring you happiness?
How do you handle the argumentative person who constantly questions others’ beliefs?

What are you supposed to do when people are telling you you should always strive to be genuine while society clearly shows us we’ll be rewarded if we present a curated image of ourselves to everyone on social media? We live in a tricky time with technology developing as quickly as it is. The tools we are inventing are beginning to control us and highlight our weaknesses as human beings, but will we overcome these weaknesses or implode because of them?

A Word From Our Sponsors

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Resources from this Episode

Miki Agrawal’s website

Disrupt-Her: A Manifesto for the Modern Woman by Miki Agrawal

Hello Tushy

Be Here Now by Ram Dass

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Overcoming the Five Dysfunctions of a Team

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The Art of Leadership in Business with Patrick Lencioni Feb 24, 2020

Company culture might conjure silly images of bag chairs and free lunch to some, but company culture is much more than hip amenities and it can break an organization if it’s dysfunctional - so what is a dysfunctional company culture, how do you risk losing your best talent unless you improve it, and is any company too big or too old to change its ways?

What to Listen For

What two areas of business do you need in order to successfully run a business?
What are the 5 dysfunctions of management and what can you do to overcome them to build a world-class company culture people want to work with?
Why is a willingness to be vulnerable and admit when you don’t know something important to developing a healthy company culture?
Is conflict avoidance a good or bad thing in the workplace, and how should you approach disagreements and potential arguments?
What does it mean to be trustworthy in a business environment and how can you identify someone who isn’t trustworthy before their failure becomes your failure?
What should you do after realizing you are bringing dysfunctional behavior to an organization?
What exercises can you do to build trust within your organization, regardless of whether you’re in management or not?
What is the number one job killer for an individual within a business organization and what can you do to solve it without spending a dime?
What three things do people need at work to love going to work every day and how can you provide those three things without
Why is efficiency overrated and effectiveness underrated, and how can a drive for efficiency push out all the people who matter to your organization?
What 3 qualities do you need to be a great team player, and why can missing just one of them lead to a disaster?

Company culture is not about giving your employees more benefits, amenities, or unlimited vacation. Among other things, it is about trusting the people you work with, supporting open and honest communication, recognizing the contributions of others, and leadership/management that embodies healthy conflict resolution and leading by example. Without those things clearly communicated and reinforced from the top down, it’s only a matter of time before people get hired that do not believe in the same ideas, which leads to an organization where managers and leadership taking credit for their teams, people feeling isolated and unappreciated, and everyone looking out for themselves rather than the collective good.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Resources from this Episode

The Five Dysfunctions of a Team: A Leadership Fable by Patrick Lencioni

The Motive: Why So Many Leaders Abdicate Their Most Important Responsibilities by Patrick Lencioni

Patrick Lencioni’s Company Website - TableGroup

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Justin Michael Williams website

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The Art of Meditation To Get Sh!t Done with Justin Michael Williams Feb 17, 2020

Meditation and mindfulness have experienced a resurgence in modern western society as people continue struggling to find peace and fulfillment amidst the chaos and materialism of the modern world - so what can meditation teach us about our place in all of this, and how can we incorporate meditation into our daily lives to make us better friends, coworkers, lovers, and humans?

What to Listen For

How long should you meditate?
What does science say about meditation?
What’s the minimum effective dose of meditation?
What time of the day is best for meditating and when should you avoid meditating?
Why is it so important to be clear with yourself about your intentions?
What is the biggest misconception about meditation, especially when it comes to type A personalities?
What is the difference between practicing meditation and practicing mindfulness, and why does it matter?
What is meditation supposed to be about, and what do many people mistakenly think it’s about?
How did meditation first start and how has it evolved over countless human generations?
What does the word “mantra” mean with regards to meditation and why is there such an emphasis placed on having a mantra?
What can you do to develop your own mantra to make your meditation practice more personal, more purposeful, and longer-lasting?
How often should you revisit your mantra to decide whether or not it’s time for a new one?
What questions should you explore when meditating and how can the wrong questions lead you to a negative mental space?

Meditation is not about silencing your mind. Your mind’s sole purpose is to generate thoughts, so to think you can stop your mind from doing the one thing it’s supposed to do is like convincing yourself you can stop your heart from beating and keep living. Meditation is about accepting your thoughts and feelings and then learning to let go of them because they are not you. You experience thoughts and feelings - you are not your thoughts and feelings.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

CBD is a big deal right now. It is changing millions of peoples’ lives every day - but is it right for you? Harrelson’s Own was formulated to provide full mind and body benefits that help you feel more stable, calm, focused and collected. If you’re curious, they have a fun and informative video for you to learn more. Text our special discount code CHARM to the number 6-3-5-6-6 and they will send you a link to watch their video AND give you 10% off your purchase!

Resources from this Episode

Stay Woke Give Back Tour

Stay Woke: A Meditation Guide for the Rest of Us by Justin Michael Williams

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

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The Art of Overcoming Fear and Rejection with John Livesay Feb 10, 2020

Fear and rejection are natural parts of life, but if you want the most out of life, fear and rejection are two things you will face on a regular path to achieving your dreams - so what can you do to not only accept them but build a positive relationship with both, allowing you to channel their energy for your own forward momentum?

What to Listen For

How do you handle the fear of uncertainty in today’s job market when the economy is changing so rapidly?
What can you do to overcome the fear of rejection we all experience?
What exercise can you implement right now to start putting rejection into perspective and even look at rejection in a positive light?
How can you choose to look at failure so it helps you rather than stopping you from going after the life you want?
What is the difference between a perfectionist and a progressionist, and why can one hinder your success?
How can you break away from humility to tell a story worth sharing?
What are the 4 ways you can use to tell an engaging story people are going to want to give you their attention for?

An average life is average because doing great things is terrifying. That’s not to say an average life can’t be fulfilling, but many people dream of being able to live a life on their own terms. And to build a life where you have everything you want and can spend your time how you want to spend it requires that you put yourself outside of your comfort zone regularly. You must be willing to face your fears and walk through them. You must be willing to get knocked down by life only to get back up again and keep trying. If you want to find your soulmate, statistically you have to meet a lot of people, which means you’re going to be rejected a lot before you find the right one. If you want to find that dream job that allows you to spend your time doing something you love while being paid for it, you’re going to need to try a lot of different things and work for a lot of different people/companies before you find the right fit. You must be willing to try, fail, and try again.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

This winter, start a new routine to upgrade your everyday life with a monthly Box of Awesome from Bespoke Post. Bespoke Post sends guys only the best stuff, every month. So whether you’re looking to commemorate an occasion with a champagne saber or toast perfectly aged Winter cocktails - they’ve got you covered. Get 20% off your first monthly box when you sign up at BoxOfAwesome.com and enter the special discount code AOC at checkout.

CBD is a big deal right now. It is changing millions of peoples’ lives every day - but is it right for you? Harrelson’s Own was formulated to provide full mind and body benefits that help you feel more stable, calm, focused and collected. If you’re curious, they have a fun and informative video for you to learn more. Text our special discount code CHARM to the number 6-3-5-6-6 and they will send you a link to watch their video AND give you 10% off your purchase!

Resources from this Episode

Better Selling Through Storytelling by John Livesay

The Successful Pitch Podcast hosted by John Livesay

Be The Lifeguard of Your Own Life! | John Livesay | TEDxWilmingtonLive

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

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The Art of Value Driven Success Feb 03, 2020

To many of us, the word values can sound like a buzzword thrown around in corporate-speak via emails and quarterly earnings calls - but individual values, once understood, can lead to a future of incredible potential, so what are the values we’re referring to, and what can you do to determine your values so you can live the life you’ve always wanted?

What to Listen For

Why is it important for each of us to determine our individual values, and how does living by those values help you to not make terrible decisions?
How do you choose your values?
What is the problem with goals, and why is the setting of goals not enough?
What questions can you ask yourself to determine some of your basic values?
How do you decide on company values, and why is it important for your company’s success to find employees who share those values?
What are the company values of the Art of Charm?
How did AJ Harbinger determine his values and how have they guided him to success?
Why does more discipline in your life lead to more freedom?
How did Johnny Dzubak determine his values and have they guided him to success?
What exercises can you implement today to track whether or not you are living by your values?

If you don’t choose the script for your life, others will do it for you, and there’s no guarantee the script will be conducive to your happiness and fulfillment in life. Your script is dictated by your values, and you can either decide what your values are and live an intentional life driven by them, or you can live a life that is subject to the values of others. If you choose not to choose and understand your values, it can result in a life of self-doubt, feelings of inadequacy, and being used by the people around you who are firm in their values or know how to take advantage of people who don’t stand for anything. So, what do you believe in?

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Hiring used to be hard. Multiple job sites, stacks of resumes, a confusing review process. But today, hiring can be easy and you only have to go to one place to get it done: ziprecruiter.com/CHARM. ZipRecruiter is so effective that 4 out of 5 of employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate through the site within the first day.

Is there something interfering with your happiness, or preventing you from achieving your goals? BetterHelp will assess your needs and match you with your own licensed professional therapist AND you can start communicating in less than 24 hours! Visit betterhelp.com/CHARM to get 10% off your first month and join the over 700,000 people taking charge of their mental health with the help of an experienced professional.

Resources from this Episode

Great Leaders Have No Rules by Kevin Kruse

Art of Charm Bootcamp

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Daddy Issues on Instagram

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Grow Your Social Media with Daddy Issues' Violet Benson Jan 27, 2020

People skills are always important, but when it comes to money, fame, and power, it takes some skill and experience to learn who your friends are and know who is getting close to you because they want something from you, so how do you know who you can trust, and what can you do make sure you don’t get taken advantage of?

What to Listen For

What made Violet Benson start the Daddy Issues Instagram account?
What can you do to move on after a relationship falls apart that you feel you’ve totally invested yourself in?
How can you develop confidence and get rid of that nervous energy you feel when doing something for the first time?
What does it even mean to “get to know” more people?
How much can you really know about someone and how do you know when you can trust someone?
What can you do to alleviate tension in conversations with dominant personalities?

Life is not a friendly game. As humans, large groups of us around the world have managed to carve out a relatively friendly existence, but there will always be those we don’t get along with and those who just like to see the world burn. Social skills are the new survival skills - we need them in order to survive in society as well as to get ahead and thrive. And the more we get ahead, the more we need them. Fortunately, social skills are just like any other skill in that they require practice and experience in order to improve them

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Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Resources from this Episode

Violet Benson on Instagram

Too Tired to be Crazy podcast

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Edge: Turning Adversity into Advantage by Laura Huang

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Turning Adversity into Advantage with Laura Huang Jan 20, 2020

Adversity has shaped humanity into who we are now - the most dominant and inventive species on this planet - so what can you do to stop looking at adversity as a roadblock and start looking at it as a necessity to becoming who you want to become?

What to Listen For

How can you know when you should trust your gut and when you should trust logic?
What can you do to develop your own sense of intuition?
Why is embarrassment integral to learning and mastery of a skill?
What are the biggest social skills deficits in the workplace today and what should you focus on if you don’t want to lose out on that next job or promotion?
What areas of your life should you focus on if hard work is not enough to get ahead in today’s world?
How do you make your own privilege and create advantages for yourself in life that no one can take away from you?
Why is it so important to think about the intent of a message vs the impact?
What can you do to build advantages against biases people might have toward you?
What is Laura Huang’s EDGE acronym stand for and how can you use it to gain an edge over your competition?
How do you ask questions at a new job without coming across as incompetent?

If we lived in a world without adversity, what challenges would you face to make you a better person mentally, emotionally, and physically? Many of us wish our lives were easy (or easier) but might not realize how important it is to our development that we are challenged on a regular basis. Unless you experience disappointment, how can you learn to set expectations? Unless you lose someone you care about, how can you learn how to cope with loss?

Every time you are faced with adversity, it is an opportunity to learn something about yourself and life. You are the product of billions of years of life facing adversity and adapting to deal with it - there’s no reason it has to stop now that you’re stressed out about a job promotion or exam. Face your challenges head-on, use them to your advantage, and learn from them.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Resources from this Episode

Laura Huang’s website

Laura Huang on LinkedIn

Laura Huang on Instagram

Laura Huang on Facebook

Laura Huang on YouTube

Laura Huang on Twitter

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

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How To Stop Self-Sabotage with Dr. Judy Ho Jan 13, 2020

The tendency to self-sabotage is a part of who we are as humans, but many of us don’t even know when we’re doing it - so what can you do to identify the areas in your life when you tend to self-sabotage and what steps can you take to prevent self-sabotage in the future?

What to Listen For

What is self-sabotage and why do we all do it in some form or another?
How do we self-diagnose our own self-sabotage and what can we do to stop it so it doesn’t damage our relationships or professional career?
Are New Years Resolutions the best way to making changes in our lives, and what should we do if they’re not?
What is the biggest misconception surrounding self-sabotage?
How do we strengthen our willpower so that in times of potential self-sabotage we don’t fail?
What is the L.I.F.E. acronym and how can you use it to identify the areas in your life where you are prone to self-sabotage?
How does social media affect our tendency to self-sabotage and what can you do to prevent it?
Once you identify the triggers that cause you to self-sabotage, what can you do to change them?
What is the difference between diffusing a thought and fusing with one, and why should you try to always avoid one of the two?
How do lofty goals lead people to self-sabotage and how should you approach goal setting in a way that doesn’t lead you to feel like a failure when you don’t achieve your goals?
What can you do to define your values so you can live a fulfilled life?
When you have identified changes you want to make in your life, how do you develop a blueprint for change that you can use to structure and plan the journey to becoming a better version of yourself?
How do you avoid self-sabotage in romantic relationships?
How much time should you spend on self-development?

Self-sabotage is a tendency we have as humans to create problems for ourselves that get in the way of what we want from life. This tendency can be triggered when we find ourselves in a place of uncertainty or fear, so a great place to start in identifying your own self-sabotaging behaviors is to stop and think the next time you find yourself unsure of what to do next or how to solve an issue in your life. Rather than acting instinctively, take some time and think about how you would normally act in that situation and whether that gets you closer to your goals or pushes you away.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Resources from this Episode

Stop Self-Sabotage by Dr. Judy Ho

Dr. Judy Ho on Twitter

Episode 729: Self-esteem is Bullshit with Dr. Steven Hayes

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Episode 719: Why Emotional Connection Makes or Breaks a Relationship

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The Art of Talking To Anyone Jan 06, 2020

Talking to people we don’t know can be uncomfortable and sometimes terrifying, so why is it so important that we become comfortable with it and overcome the fear, what does science say about the value of talking to strangers, and what can you do to become a master of meeting new people?

What to Listen For

Why is it easier for introverts to talk to strangers than friends and family members?
Why is it scary for us to talk to people we don’t know and what can you do to overcome that fear?
What is a digital device security blanket and how does it put a wall up around each of us?
What does science say about the value of small talk with strangers and how can it prevent you from feeling isolated and disconnected from the world around you?
Where is the best place to meet new people and what should you say when you introduce yourself?
How do you use shared experiences to strike up a conversation with someone you know nothing about?
When is it appropriate to compliment a stranger and how do you decide what to compliment someone on?
What is a transactional question and how do you ask one without shutting down the conversation before it’s even begun?
Can you ask too many questions in a conversation?

The more comfortable you are with talking to strangers, the greater your opportunities become. It’s a simple numbers game. If 1 out of every 100 people could connect you to a great job offer, a new friend, or a romantic partner, then doesn’t it stand that the more people you meet, the greater your chances become of landing your dream job, making new friends, and finding a great partner?

If you are uncomfortable with striking up a conversation with someone out of the blue, your connections and relationships will always be limited to the people already in your social circle and chance encounters (with people who do like striking up conversations with strangers). You only get one life - don’t leave your fate up to chance. Take control and go after what you want.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Hiring used to be hard. Multiple job sites, stacks of resumes, a confusing review process. But today, hiring can be easy and you only have to go to one place to get it done: ziprecruiter.com/charm. ZipRecruiter is so effective that 4 out of 5 of employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate through the site within the first day.

Resources from this Episode

Art of Charm Bootcamp

Art of Charm Network

Is Efficiency Overrated? By Gillian M. Sandstrom & Elizabeth W. Dunn

The stare as a stimulus to flight in human subjects: A series of field experiments

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Matt Komo’s YouTube Channel

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How to Land Your Dream Job - Matt Komo Dec 30, 2019

Finding your voice as a creative can be difficult and frustrating, so how do you stay true to yourself while pushing the boundaries of your work, what can you do to balance the quantity of output versus the quality, and how do you get buy-in on your creative vision when you’re just starting out?

What to Listen For

Who does Matt Komo draw inspiration from and how did he get started in film?
What can you do to develop your confidence as a creative when it feels like you’re surrounded by people making better content than you?
How do you balance quality vs quantity as a content creator?
How do you find the balance between your creative side and the business side
What can you do get buy-in on your creative vision and get the necessary support to follow through to completion?
How much of telling a story falls on the medium itself and how do you change the way you tell a story from one medium to the next?
What can you do to handle the creative differences that inevitably arise between you and a client?
How do you open yourself up to larger possibilities if you have no frame of reference for what is possible?
How do you self-assess the difference between arrogance and confidence?

As a creative, it can be easy to get bogged down by comparing your work to that of other people, especially in today’s world where a simple search can result in countless examples to top-notch work. Fortunately, only you have your perspective on life and your story to tell, so your truth and your voice are unique to you. It will take time and hard work to find your voice, but once you do, no one can take it away from you.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Resources from this Episode

Matt Komo on Twitter

Matt Komo on Instagram

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Episode 790 How To Resolve Conflict Like A Martial Artist with Judy Ringer

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How To Pitch Your Idea In Just 3 Minutes with Brant Pinvidic Dec 16, 2019

You are pitching anytime you attempt to convey an idea, and pitching effectively in today’s world of short attention spans is getting harder and harder, so what can you do to break every pitch down into 3 minutes, improve your own pitching skills, and make sure that next pitch doesn’t cost you a job, an idea, or a relationship?

What to Listen For

What can we do to practice our pitching skills?
When are we NOT pitching our ideas or ourselves?
How do you stand out in a sea of dozens or hundreds of other pitches?
What are the two forms of information being conveyed in a pitch and what can you do to balance them so one doesn’t overpower the other and ruin your pitch?
Why are the first 3 minutes of a pitch the most important and how do you make them count so you don’t waste your time?
What does it mean to have an inform and lead approach to your pitch and why is it so important in today’s world of hyper-sensitive consumers?
What are statements of value and how can using them change your career forever?
What is the WHAC acronym, how does it relate to the statements of value, and how does it bring everything together to help you build the ultimate 3-minute pitch?
How should you approach follow up after you’ve made a pitch and what should you avoid doing at all cost?
What is the telephone challenge and how can you use it to understand what parts of your pitch are the most valuable and least valuable?

You are pitching anytime you are trying to get other people to believe an idea you have. It doesn’t matter if those people are your coworkers, friends, potential customers, or a board of directors - you are pitching, and to be great at pitching requires a different approach now than it did in the past. The era of smooth talking salesmen making grandiose claims and trying to reel you in is over. Our attention spans are shrinking and we have become desensitized to ideas that sound too good to be true. It’s time for the facts.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Resources from this Episode

Brant Pinvidic’s website

The 3-Minute Rule by Brant Pinvidic

Brant Pinvidic on Twitter

Brant Pinvidic on Instagram

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Episode 697 - High Value Conflict Resolution

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How To Resolve Conflict Like A Martial Artist with Judy Ringer Dec 09, 2019

Conflict resolution is not a skillset that comes naturally for most of us because our egos will always want to defend us by proving we’re correct at the expense of actually working to a resolution, so what can we do to understand the psychology of conflict resolution and improve our conflict resolution skills?

What to Listen For

What core psychological principles cause unnecessary conflict and what can you do to deal with them?
What are the different phases of conflict resolution?
What can you do to develop the skills required for effective conflict resolution and how can they save you from sabotaging your jobs, friends, or relationship?
How did Judy Ringer get her start in conflict resolution?
During conflict, why do we default to wanting to be right instead of being curious about the other side, and what can we do to flip that switch so we can deal with conflict more effectively?
How can using open questions instead of statements or closed questions lead to an environment better suited for conflict resolution?
What does it mean to take responsibility for a conflict even if you’re not actually at fault for what happened?
How do you reflect on recent conflicts in order to learn from them and develop your conflict resolution skills?
What can you do to journal your conflict resolution journey in a way that helps you grow?
What simple tips can you implement to start redirecting conflict toward resolution rather than escalation?
As a manager, how do you ask the right questions when trying to resolve a conflict between your employees?
What markers can you look for to detect conflict under the surface that might not be apparent at first glance so you know when to step in and stop a spark from growing into a wildfire?

Conflict resolution is a skill most of us have to work on intentionally and consistently because our default as humans is to “resolve” conflicts by proving we’re right rather than trying to understand both sides and come to an actual resolution cooperatively. The best place to start is by recognizing the moment a conflict arises and making the decision to ask questions instead of proving you’re right.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Vistaprint wants you to be able to “Own the Now” in any situation, which is why our listeners will get 500 high-quality, custom business cards starting at $9.99. Use discount code CHARM at Vistaprint.com.

This Fall, start a new monthly routine that’ll upgrade your life and style with a Box of Awesome from Bespoke Post. Bespoke Post sends guys only the best stuff, every month. So whether you’re looking to craft your own hard-cider or toast perfectly aged Fall cocktails—Box of Awesome has you covered. Get 20% off your first monthly box when you sign up at BoxOfAwesome.com and enter the special discount code AOC at checkout. That’s Box of Awesome dot com, special discount code AOC for 20% off your first box.

Resources from this Episode

Judy Ringer

Turn Enemies Into Allies: The Art of Peace in the Workplace

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Frame Analysis: An Essay on the Organization of Experience

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Building Blocks To Becoming A Leader Dec 02, 2019

Leadership skills is a phrase that gets thrown around a lot yet can mean many different things depending on the person using it, so what does “leadership skills” really mean, what does the science say about the value of leadership skills, and what can you do.

What to Listen For

What traits do you need to bring to the table as a leader and what can you do to develop them?
Why is a strong frame necessary for effective leadership?
What does it mean to have a strong frame and what can you do to build one?
What tools and techniques can you start using today to be a more effective leader?
How do you build leadership skills?
Are leadership skills applicable outside of the workplace?
What is the CAKE equation and how can you use it to build confidence?
What does science say about the value of leadership skills?
What are the two leadership styles and which one do we tend to associate with leadership even though it’s not as effective as the other in the long run?
How do you work on or start building your leadership skills in your personal life?

It might come as a surprise to some that leadership skills are just as important in your personal life as they are in your professional life because being a leader doesn’t automatically imply ordering people around. That is a specific aspect of leadership and one that great leaders rarely resort to. Being a leader within your social circle can just mean taking the initiative in organizing the next poker night or girls’ night out instead of waiting for someone else to do it. Being a leader can also mean encouraging and supporting your friends in hard times and celebrating them in their successes. Leadership means having the confidence in yourself to raise up those around you without expecting anything in return.

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Resources from this Episode

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How To Ask Better Questions with Laura Beil Nov 25, 2019

Storytelling might seem like a skill reserved for dinner parties and family gatherings, but we actually use it in our everyday lives, many times without really knowing it - so what can you do to be more aware of when you’re using it, when you should be using it, and how not using it could be leading you to miss out on crucial opportunities for professional and personal growth?

What to Listen For

How did Laura Beil get her start in podcasting?
What level of skepticism around the modern healthcare system is appropriate in today’s day and age where you can find countless horror stories throughout the internet?
How can you guide people you’re interviewing to tell better stories in response to your questions?
What kinds of questions can you ask someone if you want more in-depth answers or explanations?
How can you improve your empathy in situations where you’re listening to someone talk about a tragic event in their life?
What can you do to bring fresh energy into meetings with your storytelling skills?
How do you keep a conversation interesting and lively for hours with someone you have little to nothing in common with?

We use storytelling abilities in our everyday lives because we are either asking other people about themselves or vice versa. A good storyteller knows how to answer questions in a way that intrigues people and keeps them engaged in a conversation as well as ask people the right questions that get them to open up and feel comfortable talking about themselves, both of which deepen the connection between them.

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Resources from this Episode

Laura Beil’s website

Dr. Death - podcast by Laura Beil

Bad Batch - podcast by Laura Beil

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Daniele Bolelli’s website

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How To Set Your Storytelling Skills On Fire with Daniele Bolelli Nov 18, 2019

Many of life’s most powerful lessons come from stories of men and women living through dark and ugly periods in history - but why do we relate to these stories so strongly, what’s the best way to tell a story from your own life about adversity or a struggle you endured, and how do you know when such a story is ready to be told?

What to Listen For

What story from history first hooked Daniele Bolleli into pursuing history?
How do you remove the bias or spin from news stories in today’s digital era?
What made Daniele Bolelli realize he wanted to start podcasting?
How do you tell a story in a way that people actually care about the characters involved?
How do you find or build in a hook when you’re trying to figure out the best way to tell a story?
How do you balance the dark side of a story with the lighthearted side so neither one pushes the audience away?
What can you do to add humor to dark stories in a way that doesn’t feel forced or out of place?
What can you look for in a story you want to tell if you want to know if it’s ready to be told?
How has Daniele Bolelli’s experience in podcasting influenced his own personal storytelling?

Stories from history provide us with archetypes and allow us a glimpse into the human spirit to see what we’re capable of when faced with insurmountable odds or overwhelming tragedy. And one of the most valuable lessons we can take away from all of the stories from history is that everyone involved was human. This is important to remember because we as humans have a habit of disconnecting from people who have accomplished great things and committed great atrocities. When we’re able to identify with the person on a basic level we can be inspired to act as well as develop empathy for those whose lives lead them down dark paths.

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Hiring used to be hard. Multiple job sites, stacks of resumes, a confusing review process. But today, hiring can be easy and you only have to go to one place to get it done: ziprecruiter.com/charm. ZipRecruiter is so effective that 4 out of 5 of employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate through the site within the first day.

Resources from this Episode

Daniele Bolelli on Twitter

History on Fire Podcast - most recent episodes available on Luminary

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

JPUniversity - David JP Phillips’s school for storytelling

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786: How To Evoke Five Powerful Hormones Through Storytelling With David JP Phillips Nov 11, 2019

Humans are storytellers by nature, so the ability to tell a great story is something we can all learn and develop over time - but where do you start if you want to become a great storyteller, what is the structure of a great story, and how do you practice if you’re not already a public speaker?

What to Listen For

What does science tell us about why storytelling is so powerful?
What can you do to be a more compelling storyteller?
What steps can you follow to tell unforgettable stories?
What are the 4 basic steps of storytelling and how can you apply them in everyday life to become a great storyteller?
What simple game can you play with family, friends, or strangers to test and improve your storytelling ability?
Why are emotions such a crucial aspect of great storytelling and what can you do to incorporate them into your stories?
What is the Angel’s Cocktail and how does it make for an unforgettable story?
How should you approach storytelling in a professional setting like a networking event versus a personal setting like hanging out with friends or being on a date?
How do you tell an engaging story when Powerpoint is involved and what should you avoid doing at all costs?
What are the key things you should pay attention to in the audience when presenting?
What are the 5 layers of communication and how does knowledge of them tell you who is trustworthy and who is not?
What mindset should you adopt to better handle the Q & A after a talk or presentation?

Storytelling is a skill like any other, but that means to become great at it requires you to practice it - how can you become good at anything without adequate repetition? But unlike many other skills, storytelling is something you can practice every single day with anyone you talk to. Just think about something that has happened in your life, large or small, and tell the story of it through the 4 basic steps discussed in this episode.

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Resources from this Episode

How to Avoid Death by Powerpoint - TEDx Talk

The Magical Science of Storytelling - TEDx Talk

The 110 Techniques of Communication and Public Speaking - TEDx Talk

David JP Phillips

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

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785: How To Tell A Great Story In 8 Easy Steps Nov 04, 2019

Storytelling is the glue which has held humanity together over tens of thousands, if not hundreds of thousands of years - but why are stories so important to us, what goes into creating a great story, and what can you do turn any story from your life into a great story worth telling?

What to Listen For

Why is storytelling such a valuable skill to have in personal and professional relationships?
What can you do to tell engaging and compelling stories?
Why is your storytelling ability important for making new friends, building a network, and dating?
How does your storytelling ability make or break your performance in sales?
Why do many of us focus on the wrong things when telling a story and how is it hindering you socially and professionally?
Why are stories so powerful in conveying information and connecting us?
How do you structure a story so you’re captivating the listeners and they can’t help but remember you?
What is the Hero’s Journey and how has it been used throughout history to structure famous stories in mythology, religion, and literature?
What are 8 steps can you follow to turn any story into a great story?
How do you turn an average story into a great story?
What are the do’s and don’ts of storytelling?
What do people connect with most in stories and what puts them off?
What is the “curse of knowledge” and how does it hurt your ability to tell great stories?

Humans have likely been telling stories since we first stepped foot on this earth. It is one of our defining features in the animal kingdom and it is the thing that enables us to live and work together in groups, from families to communities to companies to nations.

Storytelling is indeed an art, but an art with a structure. This structure has been passed down through the ages and can be found throughout the world in various cultures, which means it can be taught and learned. If you want to create strong relationships in your personal life and professional life, then you need to become a great storyteller.

A Word From Our Sponsors

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Skillshare is an online learning community with thousands of classes for creators, entrepreneurs, and curious people everywhere. You can take classes in Film and Video, Marketing, Productivity, and even Entrepreneurship! Join the millions of students already learning on Skillshare today with a special offer just for our listeners: Get two months of Skillshare for free by going to Skillshare.com/CHARM.

Equal Parts is here to help you get into the flow of home cooking, with inviting cookware and coaching designed to introduce new ideas and keep you engaged with the process of cooking, one step at a time. Get into the rhythm of the kitchen, with friendly and inviting cookware, coaching, and guidance from Equal Parts. All with free shipping and free returns. Visit equalparts.com and use discount code CHARM get $50 off any cookware kit over $200!

Resources from this Episode

Cooperation and the Evolution of Hunter-Gatherer Storytelling

Joseph Campbell’s Hero’s Journey

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

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784: Expert Networking for Introverts with Karen Wickre Oct 28, 2019

Networking can seem like a daunting task for introverts, so what strengths do introverts bring to the table that extroverts do not, what value can you bring to a network if you are just starting out, and how can you utilize today’s technology to amplify your networking ability?

What to Listen For

How can you stand out as an introvert when networking?
What is one of the most effective ways to build a network in a fluid job market like Silicon Valley where almost no one stays at one company for more than a couple years?
Can you be a master networker if you’re an introvert?
What value can you bring to a network when you are just starting out in a new field or career?
What strengths do introverts bring to networking that extroverts do not?
What can you do to improve your listening skills to make you a better networker?
What tools in today’s day and age should you be using to grow and maintain your network?
Is email dead?
What is the “loose touch” habit and how can you use it to grow and strengthen your network?
What is a “third place” and why is it important for you to find yours?
How do you balance creating an online brand with oversharing and putting you in a position where companies don’t want to hire you?
Why is LinkedIn so pivotal to the world of networking?
What questions can you ask yourself when it comes to how you present yourself on social media?
How do you set networking goals before attending a conference?
What questions should you be asking when meeting new people at a conference or networking event?
What do you need to stop doing now when it comes to networking and keeping in touch?
What should you be doing when building or growing your network online?
What is the “double opt-in” and how can you use it to grow and strengthen your network?
What’s the best way to reinitiate contact with people in your network you haven’t talked to in a while?

Networking doesn’t have to be hard if you’re an introvert. Many people tend to think about networking and imagine being at a crowded bar or massive conference, making small talk with dozens of people and amassing business cards, phone numbers, and emails.

But it doesn’t have to be that at all. Simply focus on the people you enjoy working with and share good memories with, and try to have good interactions with them. Go out for coffee every now and then, schedule a lunch, or stay in touch via email. The key is consistency. Stay in people’s lives and make an effort to connect.

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Hiring used to be hard. Multiple job sites, stacks of resumes, a confusing review process. But today, hiring can be easy and you only have to go to one place to get it done: ziprecruiter.com/charm. ZipRecruiter is so effective that 4 out of 5 of employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate through the site within the first day.

Resources from this Episode

Karen Wickre

Taking the Work Out of Networking by Karen Wickre

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

The Clarity Sessions - Brian’s Podcast

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783: Pro Tips To Build Your Dream Network With Brian Dixon Oct 21, 2019

Networking is all about people (obviously), but it can be easy to forget that when we’re thinking about what we can get from the relationships in our lives while we should be thinking about what we can give - so how do you start networking with intentions and making sure they are the correct intentions?

What to Listen For

Why do you need to write a personal mission statement, and how do you go about constructing one?
Why are you likely starting your day off on the wrong foot and what simple step can you take to start every day off on the right foot?
Why is it so important to develop a plan with intention in how you go about your day?
What questions should you be asking yourself each morning to set yourself up for success?
How do you stay in touch after networking events with the people you meet at them?
Why is it important in professional as well as personal relationships to regularly make exciting plans weeks or months in advance?
What is a simple but powerful idea you can use to start building a solid network right before your next conference or networking event?
What value can you offer to someone farther up the ladder of success than you?
How do you deal with difficult people at work who refuse to cooperate if they don’t get their way?
What question can you ask someone who you’re struggling to work with in order to move past the tension and conflict?

We are human, and unless we make a conscious effort it can be easy for us to default to thinking about ourselves rather than others. However, when it comes to networking, the goal should not be to figure out “what you can get” from those you meet - but what you can give. You can make yourself stand out from the masses simply by putting effort into determining the value you can bring to those whose paths you cross. Understand the needs and wants, the hopes and fears of the people in your life, and go out of your way to help them and your network will know no bounds.

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Hiring used to be hard. Multiple job sites, stacks of resumes, a confusing review process. But today, hiring can be easy and you only have to go to one place to get it done: ziprecruiter.com/charm. ZipRecruiter is so effective that 4 out of 5 of employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate through the site within the first day.

Resources from this Episode

Brian Dixon’s website

Brian’s TED Talk

Start With Your People

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Episode 693: Identifying Low Value Behaviors

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782: Networking Advice No One Tells You Oct 14, 2019

The best networkers prepare for networking events in order to get the most out of them, but how do you go about preparing for a networking event, what are the do’s and don’ts of networking, and is your first impression shooting you in the foot before you even open your mouth?

What to Listen For

What are the do’s and don’ts of networking?
How do you handle a networking event if you’re an introvert?
What can you do to prepare for a networking event, and do you even need to?
How can a bad (or even a neutral) first impression ruin your chances of success at a networking event and what can you do to make a fantastic first impression instead?
What kind of research should you do before a networking event?
How do you set yourself up for success before and/or during a networking event?
How do you choose what to wear for a networking event, and what should you avoid wearing?
Where should you hang out at networking events if you want to have the best chance of talking to the individuals you’re trying to meet?
Why is it a mistake to make a pitch or try to close a deal when you meet someone at a networking event?
What game can you play to make networking opportunities fun and productive?
Why is it hurting you to think about what you can take from networking opportunities rather than what you can give?
What should you do after a networking event to help you process and learn from the experience?
Why is it damaging to your networking potential if you can’t explain what you do in simple terms?
What should your elevator pitch attempt to accomplish and why do so many of us focus on the wrong parts?
Why do most people fail when it comes to networking and what can you do to set yourself apart from them?
How soon after meeting someone at a networking event should you start working on the follow-up?
What is a pre-event and how can you plan a simple one to your advantage, setting you apart from most people at a networking event?

Networking is like many endeavors in this world - your results depend on how much work you’re willing to put in. The best networkers prepare for every networking event by making sure their first impression is on point, they know who is going to attend and who they want to meet, they understand how to connect and pitch themselves, and most importantly, they follow up.

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Hiring used to be hard. Multiple job sites, stacks of resumes, a confusing review process. But today, hiring can be easy and you only have to go to one place to get it done: ziprecruiter.com/charm. ZipRecruiter is so effective that 4 out of 5 of employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate through the site within the first day.

Resources from this Episode

Episode 781: How To Grow Your Network Through Social Capital

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Episode 693: Identifying Low Value Behaviors

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781: How To Grow Your Network Through Social Capital Oct 07, 2019

Introduction

Networking has picked up a bad rap over the years, but what exactly is networking, how is your network different from your social circle, and how do you go about building a strong network full of great people and amazing opportunities?

What to Listen For

What is the difference between your social circle and your network, and how can the misunderstanding of the difference lead to a loss of opportunities, both personally and professionally?
What are the biggest myths surrounding networking?
What is social capital and why is your familiarity with it crucial to your ability to network effectively?
Why do many of us view networking as transactional, and why is that mindset detrimental to building a strong network?
How important is your first impression when building a network versus building a social circle?
What is the easiest area to focus on if you want to strengthen your network, and why can ignoring it have detrimental effects?
Why are your casual acquaintances more likely to lead to job offers than your close friends?
Is it more important to surround yourself with people just starting out, at your level, or further along than you, and why?
What common viewpoint can stunt the growth of your network and lead to your network being full of toxic relationships?

A strong network can lead to a healthier personal and professional life for one primary reason: a variety of backgrounds. Your network is different from your social circle (though they can overlap) because the individuals in your social circle are people you spend the most time with, and so they tend to share a similar background as you, which means they are likely to share the same perspectives and values you do. People in your network, however, likely come from a variety of backgrounds and are likely then to have different perspectives, values, and career choices.

This variety helps keep you open to new ideas and perspectives but also drastically expands the number of connections you have because of the sheer number of people that those in your network have access to.

A Word From Our Sponsors

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Skillshare is an online learning community with thousands of classes for creators, entrepreneurs, and curious people everywhere. You can take classes in Film and Video, Marketing, Productivity, and even Entrepreneurship! Join the millions of students already learning on Skillshare today with a special offer just for our listeners: Get two months of Skillshare for free by going to Skillshare.com/CHARM.

Equal Parts is here to help you get into the flow of home cooking, with inviting cookware and coaching designed to introduce new ideas and keep you engaged with the process of cooking, one step at a time. Get into the rhythm of the kitchen, with friendly and inviting cookware, coaching, and guidance from Equal Parts. All with free shipping and free returns. Visit equalparts.com and use discount code CHARM get $50 off any cookware kit over $200!

Resources from this Episode

“The Strength of Weak Ties” by Mark Granovetter

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

The West Point Negotiation Project

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780: Extreme Negotiations from Battlefield to Boardroom with Aram Donigian Oct 01, 2019

Some of the most intense and important negotiations humanity has witnessed have taken place in and around the field of battle, but how much do they have in common with the negotiations we engage in on a daily basis, what can civilians learn from how the military successfully approaches its negotiations, and what 5 strategies can you implement today in order to improve your negotiation skills?

What to Listen For

What are the most common mistakes people make when negotiating and what can you do to avoid making them?
What is the difference between negotiating to create choices and negotiating to reach an agreement, and why should you aim for one while avoiding the other at all costs?
Why do most people only think about negotiations in the short term and how can that mindset cause so much damage in the long term?
What are the commonalities between life or death military negotiations and negotiations in business?
How do you take cultural differences into account when negotiating?
What questions should you be asking yourself about the parties in a negotiation if you don’t want to screw it up?
What are the 5 strategies of extreme negotiating and how can you use them in important negotiations to everyday negotiations in order to reach a desirable outcome for all parties involved?

Many people tend to enter into negotiations with a short term goal in mind. We want the best deal, or the biggest win for ourselves, regardless of what it costs the other party. Think about when you buy a car - are you thinking about the person you’re buying the car from? What about when you’re negotiating a raise - are you actively trying to understand what is required of you to merit that raise and then clearly conveying to your employer what you’ve done to meet or exceed those requirements?

Every negotiation we engage in has the potential to build or break relationships. If that’s the case, shouldn’t it be in your best interest to focus on building relationships with win-win outcomes versus breaking them with win-lose outcomes?

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Hiring used to be hard. Multiple job sites, stacks of resumes, a confusing review process. But today, hiring can be easy and you only have to go to one place to get it done: ziprecruiter.com/charm. ZipRecruiter is so effective that 4 out of 5 of employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate through the site within the first day.

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Resources from this Episode

Extreme Negotiations - Harvard Business Review

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

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779: How To Negotiate With Friends, Build Credibility and Detach From Your Ego with Wil Schroter Sep 26, 2019

In today’s episode we talk with Wil Schroter. Will is a serial entrepreneur who has started 9 companies since 1994 and sold 4 of them to date. He is currently the CEO and founder of Startups.co, the world's largest startup launch platform.

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Hiring used to be hard. Multiple job sites, stacks of resumes, a confusing review process. But today, hiring can be easy and you only have to go to one place to get it done: ziprecruiter.com/charm. ZipRecruiter is so effective that 4 out of 5 of employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate through the site within the first day.

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Episode 777: Negotiating: 4 Things You Must Know

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778: 3 Steps to Make Any Negotiation Bulletproof Sep 16, 2019

Some of the most important decisions in your life involve negotiating with someone more experienced than you, so what can you do today to make sure you are well prepared for every negotiation to come?

What to Listen For

What can you do to make sure you’re not shooting yourself in the foot when negotiating?
What is the difference between negotiating from a place of cooperation versus position?
How are you killing opportunities by negotiating with a competitive mindset and what mindset should you be negotiating with if you want to get the most out of every negotiation?
What is the Harvard Negotiation Project and what can you take from it to improve your negotiation skills today?
How does pressure work against you in negotiations and what can we do to handle it so it doesn’t have detrimental consequences in the long term?
What 3 things are you doing to kill your chances of negotiating a raise?
What 3 traits are critical to entering a negotiation that allows for a win-win for all parties involved?
What is BATNA and why is your understanding of it crucial if you want to negotiate successfully?
How do you develop a bulletproof approach to any negotiation?
How do you gain agreement from the other party in a negotiation to decrease the chance of it falling through?
When negotiating a raise, what should your first point of agreement be between you and your employer?

Negotiating can be both fun and exciting for all parties involved, but it can also be uncomfortable and downright painful. Ideally, we want to avoid the latter, but many of us enter into negotiations from a position that pushes the other party away because we try to come from a place of power and strength. No one wants to be taken advantage of so that is understandable. However, the person we are negotiating with doesn’t want to feel pushed around either, and so a different kind of strength must be used when entering into a negotiation, and that strength comes from a knowledge of what you want as well as what the other person wants. When you do your research and have options, you allow the other party to negotiate with you on what they can offer you versus what you are looking for, rather than saying, “This is what I want and you must give it to me or I’m leaving.” That never ends well for anyone.

A Word From Our Sponsors

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Hiring used to be hard. Multiple job sites, stacks of resumes, a confusing review process. But today, hiring can be easy and you only have to go to one place to get it done: ziprecruiter.com/charm. ZipRecruiter is so effective that 4 out of 5 of employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate through the site within the first day.

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Resources from this Episode

Harvard Negotiation Project

Episode 774: The 3 Most Common Hurdles in Decision Making

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Episode 774: The 3 Most Common Hurdles in Decision Making, And How to Avoid Them

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777: Negotiating: 4 Things You Must Know + Why Fighting For The Biggest Slice Doesn't Help Sep 09, 2019

The thought of negotiating can instill feelings of discomfort in many of us because we associate negotiating with trying to create a win for us and a loss for the person we are negotiating with, but how would that change if you had the knowledge and confidence to come up with a win-win for just about every negotiation you entered into?

What to Listen For

Where do the misconceptions surrounding negotiating come from and how can a few simple changes in perception improve your ability to negotiate?
What is Prospect Theory and how does it cause you to miss out on great opportunities?
What is Positional Bargaining?
How are Positional Bargaining and Anchoring connected and how can the connection lead you
Why will we work harder NOT to lose $100 than we will to earn an extra $100?
How can you start improving your negotiating ability today?
What is the Harvard Negotiation Project and how can you use your understanding of it to create more win-win negotiations?
What are the 4 elements of a negotiation we should look at in order to create a win-win outcome for both parties?
What are the boundary conditions of a negotation and how can being aware of them prevent you from losing out on great long term negotiation wins?
How does focusing on interests rather than bargaining positions lead to a win-win in negotiations?

We often feel uncomfortable with negotiating a better deal for ourselves because we believe a better deal for us means a worse deal for the other person. That belief, however, comes from focusing on each person’s bargaining positions rather than our interests. You can do this by focusing on the other person’s interests and what you can offer them that is of little value to you but could be of great value to them. This way you are able to negotiate a win for yourself now while making the immediate loss for the other person worthwhile because of what you can offer that person in another capacity. For example, if you negotiate a discount on a computer repair by offering to write the business owner a great review and tell your friends about them, you are making that discount a win for you and the business owner.

A Word From Our Sponsors

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Resources from this Episode

Episode 772: Dan Ariely: How to Defeat Indecision and Regret

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

773: Eric Weinstein Meets The Art Of Charm

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

776: Eric Weinstein Learns the Art of Charm. Part 2 (Find Your Voice) Sep 03, 2019

Finding your voice as an individual is vital to realizing your potential and building a life that allows you to be the best version of yourself, but what does it mean to find your voice, what steps can you take today to discover it, and why will most people die before ever finding their voice?

What to Listen For

How do you define a successful networking event and what can you do to make your next networking event a success?
Why is it important to discover your voice and use it to express your thoughts on a regular basis?
What can you do to find your voice in a world where most people die without ever finding theirs?
How do you deal with the blowback that comes from voicing your opinions and beliefs that some people inevitably won’t agree with?
What hurdles do women face in social situations inside and outside of work and what can you do as a woman to overcome those hurdles so you don’t miss out on countless opportunities?
How do you handle the gender dynamic as a woman in a leadership/management position when you want to command respect and authority?

The more comfortable you become with who you really are and what you believe, the more likely you are to ruffle feathers and offend people. As your work on realizing your potential, your focus should not be on making sure as many people as possible like you or even agree with your ideas. Your focus should be on nourishing the relationships with those around you who value you as an individual for being who you are and standing firm in your beliefs and values.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

MyBookie is THE place to bet on football every weekend - they have live, in-game betting on every NFL game. They’ve got the most rewarding player perks in the business and for you fantasy guys out there, you can even bet the over/under on how many fantasy points a player will score each game. Go to MyBookie.ag and double your first deposit using promo code CHARM to activate the offer.

Resources from this Episode

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Episode 772: Dan Ariely: How to Defeat Indecision and Regret

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

775: Your Tough Questions About Decision Making Answered Aug 26, 2019

The narratives we create for ourselves influence everything from life-changing decisions down to what we eat and how we spend our free time, but what exactly is a narrative and how do you go about creating a positive one that pulls you in the direction you want to go in life?

What to Listen For

How do you justify a career change if you already have the “perfect” job?
What is the one thing you take with you every time you leave a job for a new one, and how can you use that to minimize the regret you might feel for leaving a great job?
What is a narrative and why are they so influential when it comes to how we think and make decisions?
If you feel you are overanalytical, how do you use it as a strength while making sure it doesn’t cripple you in social situations?
What can you do to make networking an enjoyable process rather than something you feel like you have to do in order to grow professionally?
How do you become more likable as a coworker?
Why is likability more important than hard skills when it comes to being promoted in the workplace?
What can you do to increase your value if you feel hindered in the dating pool by a disability?
What does it mean to hang on to gifts and memorabilia from past relationships and what does it mean to get rid of them?
Can you ever truly stop comparing yourself to others or is it human nature?

You are what you eat - everything you put in your body either makes you healthier or sicker. The same can be said for your narrative - everything you do either strengthens your narrative or weakens it.

For example, if you believe you are not worthy of a promotion at work, you will make decisions every day which strengthen that narrative. However, if you wake up one day and make the choice to believe you are worthy of a promotion, then you can take conscious action to reinforce that narrative by developing positive relationships with your coworkers and supervisors as well as making sure your supervisors know you’re getting the results which make you worthy of the promotion.

Over time your belief in yourself will override the narrative that was holding you back and the new positive, healthier narrative will take its place.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Feals is Premium CBD delivered directly to your doorstep. Feals naturally helps reduce stress, anxiety, pain, and sleeplessness. New to CBD? Feals offers a free CBD hotline and text message support to help guide your personal experience. Become a member today by going to Feals.com/CHARM and you'll get 50% off your first order with free shipping.

Resources from this Episode

Episode 766: Michael Herold on Facing the Impossible and Beating it

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Eric Weinstein on Twitter

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773: Eric Weinstein Meets The Art Of Charm. Part 1 (Why we need The Portal) Aug 12, 2019

Technology has an increasing influence on our lives, but did you know even small concentrated doses, such as working all day on a computer (aka a “tech coma”), can have a significant impact on your ability to interact with other people in healthy?

What to Listen For

What is Eric Weinstein trying to do with his new podcast and why should you listen to it?
What does the world of professional wrestling know about psychology that most psychology professors and researchers don’t?
What is the Intellectual Dark Web (IDW) and what can you learn from about how to have a constructive conversation with people you disagree with?
How do you break through disinformation when you’re constantly surrounded by “fake news”?
How do you draw a boundary with your personal life if you have a life in the public eye?
How is immigration being used to transfer wealth from one group to another and why should we restrict it?
How do you take a platform’s algorithm into account when deciding where to get your news and information?
How can you become a critical consumer of information in an era driven by narratives and algorithms?
Are you defenseless in today’s day and age of corporations tasking incredibly smart individuals to do just about anything to get your attention, even if it means complete fabrication of events?
How do you approach conversations when you know you’re going to disagree with the other person?
What is bad diversity and how does it distract us from having otherwise constructive conversations?
What is a tech coma, how do you know if you are in one, and how does it cause atrophy of your social muscles?
How can perfectionism hurt the pursuit of your goals and what can you do if you feel you are a perfectionist?

As technology continues to permeate our everyday existence, it can be easy to let slip the skills that really matter when it comes to living healthy and happy lives. Humans are social creatures, and we rely on social interaction to bring us some of the most meaningful experiences and emotions while we’re alive. Unfortunately, with the way we have developed various technological systems, we are building walls between each of us while claiming the screens on those walls make us more connected than ever.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Hiring used to be hard. Multiple job sites, stacks of resumes, a confusing review process. But today, hiring can be easy and you only have to go to one place to get it done: ziprecruiter.com/charm. ZipRecruiter is so effective that 4 out of 5 of employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate through the site within the first day.

Clearbanc is changing the way entrepreneurs raise money with equity-free capital. They charge a small flat fee for the capital, and you pay them back using a win-win rev share. If you are doing over ten thousand a month in revenue, find out how you can receive Clearbanc capital by getting your 20-minute term sheet at clearbanc.com/CHARM.

Resources from this Episode

The Portal - a podcast by Eric Weinstein

Eric Weinstein on YouTube

News Diffs - Tracking Online News Over Time

Episode 772: Dan Ariely: How to Defeat Indecision and Regret

Save the Cat! The Last Book on Screenwriting You’ll Ever Need

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

The Art of Charm Bootcamp in Vienna

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

772: Dan Ariely: How to Defeat Indecision and Regret Aug 05, 2019

The harder a decision seems to be for people, the less likely it is that we will spend enough time researching it in order to determine what to do - but why is that, how should we handle the component of time when it comes to waiting to make decisions, and what can you do to eliminate the fear of regret in your life?

What to Listen For

Why do we spend a lot of time researching insignificant decisions and little time researching significant decisions?
How can you approach life-changing decisions from a neutral point of view so you can make the decision for the right reasons?
How do does action versus inaction affect our likelihood to regret a certain event and how can you change your perspective in order to eliminate regret?
How do we take time into account when deciding how much time to spend researching minor and major decisions?
What are the three types of decisions and how can your awareness of each one help you to avoid wasting valuable time
What is anchoring and how does it affect our decision making as we make decisions that build on one another and how can your awareness of it prevent you from falling into an unhealthy trap?
What are market norms and social norms and how do they affect your willingness to oblige someone’s request for help?
How do market norms reduce the trust between people and turn relationships into economic transactions?

We make decisions that affect our lives every single day. Some decisions are small, some are big, and some are repeated on a regular basis. Unfortunately, we only have so much time to think about these decisions so it can save us a lot of time if we at least understand how to approach each one. Small decisions, like what movie theater to go to or what appetizer to get, should take the least amount of our time since they impact our lives the least, and our time is better spent being present or contemplating more important decisions. Big decisions, like where to live or who to marry, should necessitate more time as they will have lasting effects on our lives. And lastly, decisions that are made regularly, like your morning routine or what to eat each day, should be automated as much as possible to reduce the drain on your willpower so that it can be used for resource-intensive tasks like work, or studying, or solving complex problems in your life. We only have so much time to live - don’t waste it on unimportant issues in your life.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Lumen5 is empowering everyone with the ability to create short-form videos in a matter of minutes. You can transform an article, blog post, or text message into a video. Enter your text and the Lumen5 A.I. will help you summarize your content, and automatically match it with videos and photos. Right now Lumen Five has a special offer just for you! Go to lumen5.com/charm and you’ll get 50 percent off your first month.

Resources from this Episode

Dan Ariely

Dan Ariely on Facebook

Dan Ariely on Twitter

Dan’s podcast Arming the Donkeys

Predictably Irrational by Dan Ariely

The Upside of Irrationality by Dan Ariely

The (Honest) Truth About Dishonesty by Dan Ariely

Amazing Decisions by Dan Ariely

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Episode 770: Leon Logothetis: Traveling the world relying on kindness

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771: Dealing with Competition, Codependency and High Value Conversations - Q&A with Erin Muroski Jul 29, 2019

Most of us will never undergo professional training in the world of improve and yet we engage in improv almost every day because life is improv - so why should you consider taking an improv class, how does improv relate to self-development, and how can an improv mindset help you to relax in social situations?

What to Listen For

How do you compete in a place like Hollywood with people who claim to be or do things that they don’t even do?
How should you approach a conversation with someone you look up to when meeting for the first time and why is it such a bad idea to be a fanboy/girl in such a situation?
What should your mindset be when first meeting someone and what mindset will likely lead to an undesirable outcome?
What is the value in learning improv and how does it relate to your path of self-development?
Why is it counterproductive to try to be funny in improv?
What signs of codependency can you look for early on in a relationship and what can you do to course correct at that point?
How can a relationship become codependent and what can you do to prevent it?
How do you make people want to be around you or simply notice you?
What can you do to make a great first impression?
How can you fix a bad first impression?
What can you do to be confident without coming across as arrogant?
How do you attract people who want the same things you want out of a fling or relationship?

Improvisational comedy (aka “improv”) is all about going with the flow, and when it comes to life, it is much easier to use the flow of a river to your advantage rather than trying to swim upstream or control the path of the river itself. And this idea applies directly to the conversations we have with people, especially when first meeting someone. Many of you will want to control the direction of a conversation and make sure you are able to highlight the good things about you and what you’ve done, rather than listen to what the other person says and allow the conversation to flow naturally by asking sincere questions and relating to what they’re saying without domineering the discussion itself.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Sun Basket works with the best farms and suppliers to bring you fresh, organic produce and responsibly-sourced meats and seafood. Go to sunbasket.com/artofcharm to get up to $80 off.

Resources from this Episode

Episode 767: How to Master Communication in a Relationship

Episode 744: Dating Done Right with Evan Marc Katz

Episode 705: Don’t Try to Be Funny - The Art of Improv

Erin Muroski

Erin Muroski on Facebook

Erin Muroski on Twitter

Erin Muroski on Instagram

Final Rose Material - Erin’s podcast

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Episode 769: Laura Heck: avoid these 4 behaviors in any relationship

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

770: Leon Logothetis: Traveling the World Relying on Kindness Jul 22, 2019

Kindness costs you nothing but can change someone’s life forever, even your own - but how do we even define kindness, what does it mean to be genuinely kind, and how can a simple act of kindness have such lasting effects on the people around us?

What to Listen For

How do you deal with possible regrets when you make major life-changing decisions?
What is the Kindness Diaries and what inspired Leon Logothetis to start his quest for kindness?
How do you deal with the pushback that comes from close friends and family when you decide to leave a stable job to pursue your dreams?
What was it like for Leon Logothetis to approach a stranger for the first time and how has his approach evolved over time?
How can you use body language to allow strangers to feel comfortable talking to you when approaching them in the middle of the day?
How does Leon Logothetis choose who he’s going to approach and who he wants to avoid?
Are kindness and generosity universal or does it vary by culture?
What was Leon Logothetis’s favorite life-changing moment from the show and what did it teach him?
How does Leon Logothetis define kindness and what advice does he have for those of us struggling to be kinder in our day to day lives?
How can you work on being kind if you’ve been taken advantage of in the past?
How can you be kind and strong at the same time so you don’t get taken advantage of?

As Leon Logothetis put it, “Kindness is helping someone else feel less alone.” Loneliness is a feeling we can all relate to, as we have all felt it at one time or another, and many of us feel it regularly in a world where people are feeling increasingly isolated and disconnected from one another and their communities. Kindness can help to rectify that, even if it means one small act of kindness each day.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

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Sun Basket works with the best farms and suppliers to bring you fresh, organic produce and responsibly-sourced meats and seafood. Go to sunbasket.com/artofcharm to get up to $80 off.

Resources from this Episode

The Kindness Diaries on Netflix

Go Be Kind by Leon Logothetis

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

YouTube: Making Relationships Work | Dr. Gottman

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

769: Laura Heck: AVOID These 4 Behaviors in Any Relationship Jul 15, 2019

The majority of issues we face in relationships can be boiled down to 4 types of behaviors we exhibit. So what are they? How do you identify which ones you exhibit, and what can you do to deal with them in yourself, your partner, friends, family members, and coworkers before they fall apart?

What to Listen For

How did the Gottman Institute get started?
How much overlap is there between the issues married couples face versus friends, coworkers, and family members and what can we learn from the overlap?
What are the biggest issues typically seen in newlyweds and couples first moving in together?
What is implied when you stand up at the altar to say, “I do” and what should a conversation about those implications revolve around?
What 3 questions should you ask yourself before entering into a couples therapy situation and how do you use these questions to make sure both of you are on the same page when it comes to expectations?
What are the 4 problem behaviors that come up in relationships and why is it important to identify YOUR problem behavior before calling out your partner’s?
Why is it a bad idea to see a therapist without your partner if you’re having relationship issues?
How do relationship problems express themselves through our emotional, mental, and physical well being?
How do you deal with criticism whether it’s coming from yourself or your partner?
What is the difference between complaining and blaming, and why is one ok and the other is not?
How do you deal with defensiveness in a relationship?
How can you develop patience when it comes to your partner’s development since we all grow at different speeds?
What questions can you ask your partner to show your support for their development and assist in it (if they want you to)?

Relationships are a two-way street, so the issues we face while in relationships are a result of one person’s actions and the other’s reactions. This is not to say that one person is always acting and the other is reacting, but when attempting to tackle issues you have in your relationships, you must acknowledge your role in that issue. The responsibility does not fall 100% on you or the other person, but is shared between the two of you. This applies to romantic relationships, platonic relationships, professional relationships, and familial relationships.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

SAXX Underwear’s patented BallPark Pouch is a game-changer! They have internal mesh panels that keep everything in place, and they're made with super-soft, moisture-wicking fabrics, allowing our boys to breathe and even repel B.O.! Go to SAXX Underwear at SAXXunderwear.com and use the discount code CHARM at checkout to get $5 off – PLUS free shipping on your first purchase!

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Hiring used to be hard. Multiple job sites, stacks of resumes, a confusing review process. But today, hiring can be easy and you only have to go to one place to get it done: ziprecruiter.com/charm. ZipRecruiter is so effective that 4 out of 5 of employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate through the site within the first day.

Resources from this Episode

The Gottman Institute

Marriage Therapy Radio Podcast

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Episode 767: How to master communication in a relationship

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

768: How to set boundaries that set you free Jul 08, 2019

Establishing boundaries can feel intimidating if you’ve never successfully set them before, so why are they so important when it comes to maintaining healthy relationships? Why does a lack of boundaries often lead to undesirable outcomes? What formula can you follow to start setting boundaries today? We’ll answer all those questions this episode.

What to Listen For

What is causing most of the problems in your communication and how can you become more aware of them?
Why is it important to set boundaries early on and how do you set boundaries respectfully?
How can you be more proactive in dealing with conflict?
Who is more likely to win in arguments and why does it not matter in the way you might think it does?
What is the best way to approach someone who refuses to acknowledge clearly defined boundaries?
Why does a lack of boundaries lead to resentment?
How does too much freedom in a relationship lead to you feeling miserable?
Why is it important to have clearly defined boundaries between home and work if you don’t have a dedicated work space and how can a lack of boundaries be detrimental to your productivity and your personal relationships?
How can you be assertive without coming across as disrespectful?
What formula can you follow to establish clear boundaries in your relationships and how can you make it a respectful cooperative effort?

Setting boundaries in a relationship can feel like you are telling someone how to act - but in reality, setting and enforcing healthy boundaries allows you to be comfortable being yourself while communicating who you are and who you want to be to the people you care about. We all have different definitions of what it means to treat someone well and respect their time, so if you don’t communicate YOUR definition of what that is, don’t assume people can read it directly from your mind.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

SAXX Underwear’s patented BallPark Pouch is a game-changer! They have internal mesh panels that keep everything in place, and they're made with super-soft, moisture-wicking fabrics, allowing our boys to breathe and even repel B.O.! Go to SAXX Underwear at SAXXunderwear.com and use the discount code CHARM at checkout to get $5 off – PLUS free shipping on your first purchase!

Sun Basket works with the best farms and suppliers to bring you fresh, organic produce and responsibly-sourced meats and seafood. Go to sunbasket.com/artofcharm to get up to $80 off.

Resources from this Episode

Episode 725: Boost Your Emotional Intelligence w/ Michael Ventura

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Episode 719 Why Emotional Connection Makes or Breaks a Relationship

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

767: How to master communication in a relationship Jul 01, 2019

Relationships are a two-way street, but when it comes to communication it’s important to understand people have a variety of preferences when it comes to how love and affection are given and received, so what are those preferences, how can you identify what someone’s preferences are, and how can you implement all of this information to build new relationships and strengthen existing ones?

What to Listen For

What can you do to strengthen the relationships in your life?
What can you do if you think you’re a great listener but people around you keep complaining about you not listening?
Why is it a recipe for disaster to look for someone to complete you and what should you be looking for instead?
What are the Five Languages of Appreciation and how can you pick the best one for each of your relationships?
What are the three parts of communication and how does your awareness of each part help to mitigate miscommunication?
How do you identify the love languages of family, friends, and coworkers?
Why are openness and vulnerability mandatory when it comes to figuring out the love languages of the people in your life?
What little signals can you pay attention to so you can get an idea for how your loved ones communicate?

In order to deepen the connections we have with the people around us, it’s important to understand how the people around us prefer to be treated. Just because you view the giving and receiving of affection one way, doesn’t mean everyone else does as well. Some people prefer to show their appreciation through words, some prefer to show it through gifts, and some prefer the spending of quality time together - and that’s just to name a few.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Hiring used to be hard. Multiple job sites, stacks of resumes, a confusing review process. But today, hiring can be easy and you only have to go to one place to get it done: ziprecruiter.com/charm. ZipRecruiter is so effective that 4 out of 5 of employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate through the site within the first day.

Lumen5 is empowering everyone with the ability to create short-form videos in a matter of minutes. You can transform an article, blog post, or text message into a video. Enter your text and the Lumen5 A.I. will help you summarize your content, and automatically match it with videos and photos. Right now Lumen Five has a special offer just for you! Go to lumen5.com/charm and you’ll get 50 percent off your first month.

Resources from this Episode

The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman

The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace by Gary Chapman

The 5 Love Languages of Children by Gary Chapman

Learn Your Love Language with this Quiz

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Michael Herold - Speaker and Coach

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

766: Michael Herold on living a full life when the odds are stacked against you | Q&A Jun 24, 2019

Personal transformation is a long and arduous process, but we all have to start somewhere, so how do you know when it’s time to make such a drastic change, what can you do to stop from feeling overwhelmed in the beginning, and how do you know when it’s time to graduate from one step to the next?

What to Listen For

Why is making a list important in accomplishing your goals?
What can you do to deal with the fear of public speaking?
What simple exercises can you do right now to expand your comfort zone?
How did Michael Herold get his start as a public speaker and coach?
What steps should you take when starting out as a public speaker to make sure you feel ready on stage?
Where can you get practice as a public speaker if you don’t have a coach and you’re not taking classes?
How can you be more appreciative of your significant other after you two settle into the comfort stage of the relationship?
How important is it to set aside time for one another when you’re in a relationship?
What steps can you take to alleviate feeling overwhelmed when you embark on a journey of self-improvement?
How are confidence and competence related when you’re working on your social skills?
If your social skills feel rusty, what simple step can you take today to start improving?
What can you do to overcome feeling burned out?

For many, embarking on a journey of personal transformation comes after life punches you in the face - that could mean getting fired from a job, getting kicked out of school, going through the end of a relationship, or losing a loved one, just to name a few.

But why does it take such a jarring event to motivate us to improve?

Because transformation is difficult and painful, so to be willing to make a drastic change in yourself means the pain of staying the same must outweigh the pain of change. If you don’t feel the pain of your current situation, then what are the chances you’re going to choose to endure significant pain over a long period of time to change the situation you’re in?

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Manscaped is #1 in men’s below the belt grooming. Manscaped offers precision engineered tools for manscaping with the right tool for the job. Get 20% Off, Free Shipping, and a free travel bag with the discount code CHARM at Manscaped.com. Your balls will thank you!

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Sun Basket works with the best farms and suppliers to bring you fresh, organic produce and responsibly-sourced meats and seafood. Go to sunbasket.com/artofcharm to get up to $80 off.

Resources from this Episode

Michael Herold on Facebook

762: 3 Signs That it’s Time for Change | Transformation Toolbox 1

763: Had Enough Pain, Yet? | Toolbox 2

764: Brett Bartholomew on why drive matters more than motivation and secrets to peak performance

765: Parents, Part 2: Warren Farrell on The Boy Crisis and Dad Deprivation

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

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765: Parents, Part 2: Warren Farrell on The Boy Crisis and Dad Deprivation Jun 20, 2019

The role of the father in raising children is often downplayed in society, but what do fathers bring to the table that mothers do not, why does the absence of a father have such long-lasting effects, and what steps can we take today to be there for our children?

What to Listen For

What is dad deprivation and what role does it play as a child is growing up?
What is the purpose void and why is it more important now that more children are growing up without a father?
What are the two primary purposes in a man’s life and how has the development of society made it more difficult for men to feel fulfilled in either one?
How does porn become addictive to young men and how does it shift the way men view women, sex, and relationships?
What are the primary differences between mom-style parenting and dad-style parenting?
What is the single biggest predictor of success and how do you teach it to children?
How do you teach postponement of gratification to children and why is it so important to building the life you want?
What is the difference between being aggressive and being assertive?
What can you do to reverse ADHD?
What role do family dinner nights have in a child’s development and what 5 things can you do to make those family dinners constructive rather than destructive?
What steps can we take today to improve as parents?

The father in many shows and movies seems to be there just for comic relief by being a hardass or totally incompetent while the mother is portrayed as “the real parent.”

But the father’s role in raising kids is significantly more important than we tend to give it credit for.

As Warren Farrell stated, “Children who have father involvement are far less likely to be obese, far less likely to have ADHD, far less likely to do worse in every single academic area, and far less likely to be depressed or commit suicide.”

And those are just a few of the effects that a good father has on his kids.

It’s crucial there be a balance of masculine and feminine influence in a child’s life in order for that child to grow into a well-rounded human being able to handle the ups and downs and twists and turns of life. It is the tension created by the difference between the parents that allows their children to find a happy medium that works for who they are.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

SAXX Underwear’s patented BallPark Pouch is a game-changer! They have internal mesh panels that keep everything in place, and they're made with super-soft, moisture-wicking fabrics, allowing our boys to breathe and even repel B.O.! Go to SAXX Underwear at SAXXunderwear.com and use the discount code CHARM at checkout to get $5 off – PLUS free shipping on your first purchase!

Resources from this Episode

Warren Farrell’s website

Why Men Are the Way They Are by Warren Farrell

The Myth of Male Power by Warren Farrell

The Boy Crisis by Warren Farrell

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

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764: Brett Bartholomew on why drive matters more than motivation and secrets to peak performance Jun 17, 2019

Coaching athletes, or anyone for that matter, does not come with a simple one-size-fits-all approach, so what does effective coaching look like, what do you need to know about those you’re coaching, and who do coaches get coached by?

What to Listen For

How did Brett Bartholomew get started in the world of strength training and coaching?
How do you get buy-in with athletes you’re coaching to make sure they follow your program without getting distracted by all the other information they’re bombarded with?
What do you need to know about your athletes in order to best coach them and how do you tie it in with a responsible message?
What is the Harvard 4 Drive Model and how can you start using it today to teach or coach more effectively?
What 3 steps can you use to better relate to other people and build better relationships with coworkers, students, and athletes?
How do you develop self-awareness and what should you look for in your own life to start with?
What are the 3 stages of internal identification and how does it relate to the development of self-awareness?
What is imposter syndrome and how do you deal with it so you don’t sabotage your career or relationships?
What kind of coaches do coaches get coached by?
What is the difference between being responsive and being reactive?
How can you be more responsive without being reactive?
How do you find your own motivation and help others find theirs?
How do you stay motivated as a coach?

There are a variety of factors that influence your ability to coach someone effectively. First and foremost, your athlete (or student) must trust and respect you, otherwise, she won’t believe you know what you’re doing. So you must build a working relationship with your athletes, and that means understanding their self-awareness levels, working together to identify their strengths and weaknesses, what drives them and what their ambitions are, and getting a feel for how each one learns best.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

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Sun Basket works with the best farms and suppliers to bring you fresh, organic produce and responsibly-sourced meats and seafood. Go to sunbasket.com/artofcharm to get up to $80 off.

Resources from this Episode

The Art of Coaching with Brett Bartholomew

Harvard 4-Drive Model - Harvard Business Review

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Episode 762: 3 Signs That it’s Time for Change

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763: Had Enough Pain, Yet? | Toolbox 2 Jun 10, 2019

We all know change can be hard, so embarking on a journey of self-development and transformation means there will be pain involved - but is it possible to endure pain without also suffering? Why is it important to have a larger overarching goal throughout your journey, and what actionable steps can you take today to reduce the time and energy it might take to reach your transformation goals?

What to Listen For

Why is pain an unavoidable part of personal transformation, and what is the best way to approach such pain?
What is the difference between pain and suffering?
How do you figure out your values and why are they important when it comes to pursuing a fulfilling life?
Why is it important to have a larger overarching goal on your journey toward self-actualization?
Why is a reactive mindset counterproductive to happiness and fulfillment in life, and what steps can you take to turn your reactive mindset into a proactive one?
What one question can you ask yourself to take back power and control over your life?
How do you find meaning in terrible situations so you can thrive?
What signs can you be on the lookout for to identify if you are struggling with resistance on your path to transformation?
What 3 questions should you ask yourself in order to put your transformation goals into achievable steps?

When you work out or train for an event, it’s important to push your body to its limits at various times so those limits can grow and you can improve as an athlete. You know when you are approaching those limits because of the pain you feel in your muscles, but if you stop when your muscles start to burn, you will not achieve the same results as someone who pushes through the pain to run the extra mile or get one more rep in.

When confronting resistance or pain on your journey to self-actualization, you can choose to suffer in response, or you can recognize the value of the pain and push through it.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Access a World of Knowledge! Unlimited video learning with the World's Greatest Professors at The Great Courses Plus. Start your Free Month trial now by going to thegreatcoursesplus.com/charm.

Resources from this Episode

Implementation Intentions: Strong Effects of Simple Plans

How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill

Episode 740: How Defined Values Lead to Long-term Happiness | w/ Russ Harris

Episode 729: Self-esteem is Bullshit | w/ Steven Hayes

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Procrastination and the priority of short-term mood regulation

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762: 3 Signs That it's Time for Change | Transformation Toolbox 1 Jun 03, 2019

Transformation can be accidental or intentional, but if you are going to change and grow as a person, wouldn’t you want to have a say in how you grow and who you become?

What to Listen For

Why are only the courageous drawn to self-development?
How do you turn envy into a motivator rather than trying to hide it or eliminate it?
What question can you ask yourself to make feelings of envy work for you?
What is experiential avoidance and how is it correlated with low levels of life satisfaction?
What are “doomers” and “bloomers” and how do doomers become bloomers?
What should be your next move if you reach a point in your life and realize you haven’t accomplished anything?
Why might procrastination be doing more damage to your future than you think, and what can you do about it?
If you want to change your future, where is the best place to start and why might it not be the place you think?
What is the difference between living life on the offense and living life on the defense, and why does one of the two make it far more difficult to achieve your goals?
How does the pursuit of self-actualization lead to a snowball effect?
What is the 5-5-5 technique and how can it prevent you from falling into a powerless state of mind?

Self-development is only for the courageous. You must have the courage to face yourself and be honest about who you are and what you want. You must have the courage to identify your weaknesses and ask for help so you know where to start and what to work on. You must have the courage to live life on the offense so you can take intentional steps every single day toward who you want to become, even if it means falling and getting back on the horse.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

SAXX Underwear’s patented BallPark Pouch is a game-changer! They have internal mesh panels that keep everything in place, and they're made with super-soft, moisture-wicking fabrics, allowing our boys to breathe and even repel B.O.! Go to SAXX Underwear at SAXXunderwear.com and use the discount code CHARM at checkout to get $5 off – PLUS free shipping on your first purchase!

Access a World of Knowledge! Unlimited video learning with the World's Greatest Professors at The Great Courses Plus. Start your Free Month trial now by going to thegreatcoursesplus.com/charm.

Get $100 off the ‘eero base unit and 2 beacons package,’ and 1 year of eero Plus. The new eero (2nd generation) and eero Beacon allow a customer to build a WiFi system that’s more perfectly tailored to their home than ever before! Visit eero.com/charm and at checkout enter discount code CHARM

Sun Basket works with the best farms and suppliers to bring you fresh, organic produce and responsibly-sourced meats and seafood. Go to sunbasket.com/artofcharm to get up to $80 off.

Resources from this Episode

Thus Spoke Zarathustra

Episode 718 with Chris “Drama” Pfaff - Overcoming Social Anxiety in Your Career

Power affects performance when the pressure is on: evidence for low-power threat and high-power lift

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Dr Laura Berman on Facebook

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761: 5 Ways to Approach Dating Meaningfully | Q&A w/ Dr. Laura Berman May 28, 2019

Where do you even begin if you want to get better at meeting people? Improving your communication skills is an excellent place to start. Communication is important in relationships, and even more important when dating. We’ll dig into best practices, tips and strategies for dating and meeting new people with Dr Laura Berman.

What to Listen For

What drew Dr. Laura Berman to relationship and sex therapy?
What is the current state of sex ed in schools and why is it so inadequate?
How does porn affect the way you get aroused and why is it doing more harm than good?
What is the fundamental problem with the paradox of choice when it comes to dating and dating apps?
Why is it so important to think about how you want someone to make you feel and how does clarifying that make dating easier?
Can you use DNA to find your perfect match?
What is the best way for you to approach dating in the #MeToo era?
How quickly should you move from dating app to meeting and why is it risky to draw it out?
Where can you practice conversational skills in low-risk areas and what happens if you don’t practice these skills?
How should you go into dating as a parent and why is it so different?
If you are dating as a parent, when is the best time to bring up that you have a child?
What can I do if my mind goes blank every time I try to talk to someone I’m interested in?
How do you keep the intimacy going in a long term relationship?
What is the biggest behavioral predictor of sexual health in a relationship?
What is the “want” underlying the desire to “spice it up” in the bedroom?
What do you do if you realize your partner is no longer attracted to you?
How do you rewrite your story so you can break out of dating the same type of people?

Remember: A big part of having good communication is being honest with yourself. If you are honest with yourself, you know what you like and don’t like, you know what you’re good at and what you’re not. That automatically filters out potential dates or relationships that come racing in from your dating app. And if you are honest with other people about who you are and what you want, it makes it easier for them to decide whether or not they want to keep spending time together.

Being honest with yourself and with other people saves you headaches, confusion, and time - and time is the most valuable thing we have as human beings.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Vistaprint wants you to be able to “Own the Now” in any situation, which is why our listeners will get 500 high-quality, custom business cards starting at $9.99. Use discount code CHARM at Vistaprint.com.

SAXX Underwear’s patented BallPark Pouch is a game-changer! They have internal mesh panels that keep everything in place, and they're made with super-soft, moisture-wicking fabrics, allowing our boys to breathe and even repel B.O.! Go to SAXX Underwear at SAXXunderwear.com and use the discount code CHARM at checkout to get $5 off – PLUS free shipping on your first purchase!

Manscaped is #1 in men’s below the belt grooming. Manscaped offers precision engineered tools for manscaping with the right tool for the job. Get 20% Off, Free Shipping, and a free travel bag with the discount code CHARM at Manscaped.com. Your balls will thank you!

Resources from this Episode

Dr Laura Berman

Quantum Love by Dr Laura Berman

Dr Laura Berman on Twitter

Dr Laura Berman on Instagram

Dr Laura Berman on YouTube

Uncovered Podcast with Dr Laura Berman

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Geoffrey Miller’s website

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760: Parents, Part 1: Motherhood and Transformation May 24, 2019

This month and next, we decided to dedicate two episodes to parents and the valuable role parenting plays in our development as social beings.

On this episode, AJ and Johnny speak with Dr. Alexandra Sacks, about Matrescence - the transition a woman goes through when she becomes a mother. You might be thinking, "well we call that pregnancy," but matrescence is broader than just the changes a mother goes through during pregnancy.

Just as teenagers go through hormonal change and a reshaping of identity, matrescence operates in a similar fashion. Understanding and preparing for this life chapter can bring a more rich and meaningful experience to parenthood.

Dr. Sacks is a reproductive psychiatrist at Columbia University Medical Center and Host of a new podcast called, Motherhood Sessions.

gimletmedia.com/shows/motherhood-sessions

Access a World of Knowledge! Unlimited video learning with the World's Greatest Professors at The Great Courses Plus. Start your Free Month trial now by going to thegreatcoursesplus.com/charm.

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759: Dr. Geoffrey Miller on 5 Signals to Send When Dating May 20, 2019

Dating can seem like a torturous uphill battle for many men and women, but it doesn’t have to be - understanding how and why we are attracted to one another can have a significant positive impact on your ability to find happiness in your love life, but how do you take the science behind attraction and use it to make dating fun and engaging?

What is signaling theory?
What are fitness indicators and why are they so important to understand in the dating scenario?
What scientifically is shown to make you more attractive in terms of signaling?
How much of our behavior is guided by natural selection and what does the answer imply about humanity?
When you want to dance in a social setting, what is more important than being able to dance well?
What are many people doing wrong when it comes to their profiles on dating apps?
What should you include in your dating app profile?
Should you get professional photos done to use on dating apps?
Why are we entering a new era of dating and what can you do to ensure you’re able to adapt?
Why is working out a crucial foundation to start with when it comes to working on yourself from a self-development perspective?
What is a tender defender and why should you aspire to it?
What does it mean to stay true to yourself and how might you be interpreting it in a way that sabotages your behavior?
As a parent, how do you create an environment for your child to develop grit, success, and resilience when they reach the dating age?

Remember that you are alive today because every one of your ancestors was able to find a partner and start a family. You have the genetics to find the relationship you want, but it will likely take work to find it. Not only is it important for you to want to work on yourself for the sake of striving to be the best version of yourself, but it’s also important for potential partners to see that in you, so they know you are open to new ideas and experiences as well as always wanting to work on being the best partner.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Hiring used to be hard. Multiple job sites, stacks of resumes, a confusing review process. But today, hiring can be easy and you only have to go to one place to get it done: ziprecruiter.com/charm. ZipRecruiter is so effective that 4 out of 5 of employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate through the site within the first day.

Access a World of Knowledge! Unlimited video learning with the World's Greatest Professors at The Great Courses Plus. Start your Free Month trial now by going to thegreatcoursesplus.com/charm.

Proper Cloth makes it EASY for men to buy dress shirts that fit perfectly without setting foot in a store or paying a fortune. Get $20 off your first custom shirt by going to propercloth.com/aoc.

Babbel is the new way to learn a foreign language. You can try Babbel for free. Download the app or text discount code CHARM to 484848.

Resources from this Episode

The Mating Mind by Geoffrey Miller

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Episode 742: The Hidden Power of Relationships

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758: Three Top Tips to Dating May 13, 2019

Understanding social cues and nonverbal communication is arguably more important now than ever - but what does it mean to communicate with someone nonverbally, how much can you say with the delivery of words and the way you carry yourself compared to the words themselves, and why is it important to continue developing your social skills outside of dating and meeting people?

What to Listen For

Is dating really just a numbers game?
Why is initial chemistry a terrible way of determining compatibility and what should you look at instead?
Why is the 20th-century version of dating no longer applicable in today’s way of life?
How can you experience something together on the first date that contributes to cultivating chemistry?
Why is physical contact so important when it comes to getting to know someone you’re interested in?
What should you pay attention to when it comes to flirting, and what are most people incorrectly paying attention to?
How does your body language communicate more about you than what you say and how do you improve it so you don’t self-sabotage when meeting someone you’re genuinely interested in?
How do you listen with your eyes and ears and why is it so important when it comes to understanding what someone is communicating?
How do many of us view flirting in a conversation and how is it doing more harm than good?
What should you focus on when flirting with someone you’re interested in?
How do you pick up on when someone is flirting with you?
What signals can you look for to know when someone is interested in you?
What is the difference between negative, neutral, and positive body language and when is each one important to display in a conversation?

Social skills are arguably more important now than ever because of the way we have allowed technology to augment the way we communicate. We have mistakenly assumed the words we speak or write are the most valuable aspect of communication, and as a result, we aren’t impressing upon younger generations just how important it is to communicate with eye contact, tonality, physical contact, body language, and everything else that goes along with the words we use.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Access a World of Knowledge! Unlimited video learning with the World's Greatest Professors at The Great Courses Plus. Start your Free Month trial now by going to thegreatcoursesplus.com/charm

Babbel is the new way to learn a foreign language. You can try Babbel for free. Download the app or text discount code CHARM to 484848.

Vistaprint wants you to be able to “Own the Now” in any situation, which is why our listeners will get 500 high-quality, custom business cards starting at $9.99. Use discount code CHARM at Vistaprint.com.

Resources from this Episode

Episode 743: Relationship Goals: Love, Friends & Work

Episode 744: Dating Done Right With Evan Marc Katz

Episode 757: The New Rules to Dating

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Episode 742: The Hidden Power of Relationships

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757: The New Rules to Dating May 06, 2019

Dating has evolved due to the influence of technology and the way we communicate - but has the evolution been for the good of all, are all these options helping or hindering us, and why is it still just as important to meet face to face instead of trying to connect via text?

What to Listen For

How do dating apps remove the fun from dating and what can you do to make dating fun again?
How do you create chemistry with someone you’re interested in?
What are the three ways you can meet someone you might want to date?
How do you decide where to meet new people who are more likely to be compatible with you?
What are you doing to sabotage yourself every time you go out to meet new people?
How do you become addicted to falling in love and what can you do if you feel you are?
What is limerence and how does it prevent you from building healthy relationships?
Texting is effective in 2 primary ways, so what are they and why should you avoid using it for other reasons?
How can too much texting set you up for failure before meeting up with someone?

The smartphone had a drastic impact on meeting new people and building connections. Texting has become the default form of communication for many, and now you can find new “matches” whenever you have a moment to open an app and glance at some pictures before swiping left or right. But meeting people through apps is just one of three ways you can expand your social circle and improve your dating life, and while texting is convenient, it is still vastly inferior to having a conversation face to face.

This can put many of you in a situation where you’re always searching for that rush of meeting someone new. Unfortunately, when that rush dissipates and you don’t feel invested it can be too easy to simply find a new match, leading to many surface-level interactions instead of genuine long-lasting connections. There’s nothing wrong with surface-level interactions, but if you do want more meaningful connections then it’s important to take the time to get to know people and spend time with them in person.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Get $100 off the ‘eero base unit and 2 beacons package,’ and 1 year of eero Plus. The new eero (2nd generation) and eero Beacon allow a customer to build a WiFi system that’s more perfectly tailored to their home than ever before! Visit eero.com/charm and at checkout enter discount code CHARM

Access a World of Knowledge! Unlimited video learning with the World's Greatest Professors at The Great Courses Plus. Start your Free Month trial now by going to thegreatcoursesplus.com/charm

SAXX Underwear’s patented BallPark Pouch is a game-changer! They have internal mesh panels that keep everything in place, and they're made with super-soft, moisture-wicking fabrics, allowing our boys to breathe and even repel B.O.! Go to SAXX Underwear at SAXXunderwear.com and use the discount code CHARM at checkout to get $5 off – PLUS free shipping on your first purchase!

Resources from this Episode

Episode 743: Relationship Goals: Love, Friends & Work

Episode 744: Dating Done Right With Evan Marc Katz

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Jill Coleman on Instagram

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756: Vulnerability: A Key to a Successful Relationship | Q&A w/ Jill Coleman Apr 29, 2019

Relationships are built on trust, but that trust must be maintained over the years with intentional conversations to ensure that both people are on the same page - but how do you approach those conversations in a way that is healthy and promotes open & honest communication so that both of you are comfortable discussing uncomfortable topics?t

What to Listen For

How did Jill Coleman get into the fitness industry and find her calling?
What can you do to overcome the negativity when it comes to having a public life?
How many relationships actually survive infidelity?
What can you look for to know whether or not it’s worth it to build a friendship with an ex-partner?
What are the 2 parts to communication and why will your relationship fail if you don’t understand them?
How do you stay focused on improving yourself rather than getting caught up in trying to fix other people?
What is the difference between making something your fault and taking responsibility for it?
What is the 3 S system to have an honest conversation about something you’re struggling to discuss?
How do you set boundaries with someone when you’re not sure what the relationship is?
How do you know when to have the conversation about intentions and expectations with someone you’re dating?
If you’re feeling jealous or insecure about your partner, should you be honest about it?
Why is it important to be able to trust yourself before you can trust other people?
How do you deal with toxic relationships when there are children involved?

Trust is an interesting facet of human interaction. We learn about people by having conversations with them, seeing how they react to a variety of events and circumstances, and understanding the way they make us feel. Trust is something that can take weeks, months, or years to build, can be lost in a moment, and sometimes can never be rebuilt.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Fundrise is the future of real estate investing. The platform’s innovations power an investor-first model by eliminating the bloated costs and middlemen that have traditionally weighed down real estate investing — saving you time and money. Visit fundrise.com/aoc to have your first 3 months of fees waived.

Hiring used to be hard. Multiple job sites, stacks of resumes, a confusing review process. But today, hiring can be easy and you only have to go to one place to get it done: ziprecruiter.com/charm. ZipRecruiter is so effective that 4 out of 5 of employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate through the site within the first day.

Mother’s Day is almost here, and there’s one gift that thousands of moms have been calling the “best gift ever.” It’s called Skylight, and it’s a photo frame you can email photos to—any time, from anywhere. To get $10 off your purchase of a Skylight Frame just go skylightframe.com and use discount code CHARM.

Vistaprint wants you to be able to “Own the Now” in any situation, which is why our listeners will get 500 high-quality, custom business cards starting at $9.99. Use discount code CHARM at Vistaprint.com.

Resources from this Episode

Jill Fit website

The Best Life Podcast

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Life Lessons from the Oldest and Wisest

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755: Life Advice: From the Oldest and the Wisest Apr 22, 2019

Many of us tend to overlook one of the greatest sources of wisdom in our lives - our elders - but how much can you learn from one simple conversation, what can you do to better connect with your elders, and what are the secrets to a long and happy life?

What to Listen For

Why is it important to maintain relationships with our elders and what can we learn from them, even in a technology dominated world?
Are older generations facing the same level of loneliness that modern generations seem to be facing en masse?
What do the elderly point to as secrets to a longer and happier life?
What is one simple act you can do every time you run into someone you know that can strengthen the bond between you two?
If you’re looking for a mentor, what can you do to approach an elder you’re interested in learning from?
How do you connect with people from older generations if you feel you have nothing in common?
What can you do to mend broken relationships before it’s too late?
What simple mental exercise can you do to develop your sense of empathy when it comes to getting to know your elders?

We live in an interesting time in human history. In many cultures around the world and for as far back as we can tell, the elders in a community have been revered for their experience and wisdom. But now, if you live in a country like the United States, you have undoubtedly seen or heard of our elders being treated as if they are “extra weight” we have to live with as a society. Retirement homes and nursing homes are ripe with older generations who are treated like stubborn patients rather than the wise and experienced members of society they are.

But there is so much we can learn from our elders. The stories they can tell are the stories of past lives, of struggle and adversity, and the lessons only decades of experience can teach us. Remember the next time you encounter one of your elders, that reaching old age can feel lonely for many people. Friends have passed away. Family members and loved ones might only be checking in on occasion. Our elders are an untapped resource and need our presence in their lives just as much as we unknowingly need theirs.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

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Resources from this Episode

David Romanelli

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Episode 729: Self-esteem is Bullshit

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754: Steven Hayes on Why Craving Pain is Human Apr 15, 2019

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is one of the most effective methods to increase psychological flexibility - but what exactly is ACT, how can it decrease the suffering in your life, and why is it so crucial to leading a happy and fulfilling life, especially in this day and age?

What to Listen For

What is the bus driver metaphor and how can you use it to prevent your thoughts and feelings from controlling you?
What is ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) and why is it so effective?
What one question can you ask yourself to determine why something is important to you?
Why is it important to us to experience the full range of emotions, rather than just the good ones?
How can you learn to appreciate negative feelings just as much as positive ones so you can decrease the suffering in your life?
What can you do to turn negative feelings (like anxiety) into a guiding compass for what you want in life?
What has been the biggest challenge with the way our lives have been infused with technology and what can you do to lessen the negative impacts?
How dominant is the comparison of more versus less in our heads?
What is the best way to start overcoming your anxiety, and why might it seem counterintuitive at first?
What simple exercise can you do to transform your mental state whenever you want?

Pain is unavoidable. One could argue it is the most important stimulus for change and growth in a person’s life. And if pain is that important, then having a mindset or method for dealing with pain can only benefit you in the long run. If you allow yourself to get hung up on painful moments and refuse to learn from them, then you will only increase the suffering you experience.

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy helps individuals to shift their perspective on pain and suffering by improving their psychological flexibility. Think of it as a tree in a storm. If that tree is stiff, it will eventually snap under enough stress, but if the tree is flexible, no matter how hard the wind blows, the tree will simply bend until the storm has passed.

Do you want to snap under the stress of life? Or do you want to bend, and come out the other side stronger and wiser?

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Blinkist gives you access to key insights from 2,500+ bestselling nonfiction books, transformed into powerful packs you can read or listen to in just 15 minutes. Go to blinkist.com/aoc to start your FREE trial or get 3 months off your yearly plan.

Resources from this Episode

Steven Hayes

Episode 727: Sugar Ray Leonard

Mental Brakes to Avoid Mental Breaks | Steven Hayes | TEDx

How love turns pain into purpose | Steven Hayes | TEDx

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Uncertainty can cause more stress than inevitable pain

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753: Love, Money and Relationships Apr 08, 2019

In a world of seemingly limitless options, how can you know if a person is THE person for you, what questions can you ask yourself to determine if you’re even ready for a relationship, and how do you stop money from driving you two apart the way it does for countless relationships and marriages?

What to Listen For

How can you know who to settle down with in a world of seemingly limitless options?
What are 3 questions to ask yourself to help you understand if you’re with the right person?
Why is it detrimental to a relationship if you enter it with expectations for either one of you to change?
How do you get a complete picture of someone to know whether he or she is someone you want to be in a relationship with?
In what ways do you have to change your mindset to make a committed relationship work?
What questions should you ask yourself to determine whether or not you’re ready for a relationship?
How does your relationship with money impact your relationship with your significant other?
What 3 step conversation can you have with your significant other so you both can understand each other’s relationship with money and save yourslf years of headaches and arguments?
If you want your relationship to grow, where does that growth have to start?
Why do people in relationships grow apart, how do you recognize it when it begins, and what can you do to stop it from breaking the relationship?
What two factors are shown by science to be the greatest predictors of divorce in satisfied newly weds?

To say relationships are complex is an understatement. We are all different, and we all have different needs and wants along with different expectations for how those needs and wants should be satisfied. This is why communication is crucial, both communication with yourself and communication with your significant other. If you want to give a relationship the best chance of success you must be willing to talk about your needs, wants, and expectations in any number of areas. Ask the right questions, ask the hard questions, and be willing to adapt and adjust to each other as you go through life.

A Word From Our Sponsors

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Resources from this Episode

744: Dating Done Right With Evan Marc Katz

Why do even satisfied newlyweds eventually go on to divorce?

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Uncertainty can cause more stress than inevitable pain

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752: Essential Tools for Navigating Everyday Uncertainty Apr 01, 2019

Uncertainty is an unavoidable part of life, and for many, it can feel overwhelming - but what important lessons can your relationship with uncertainty teach you, how can you improve the relationship with uncertainty, and what are some real-world examples of handling uncertainty in a positive way?

What to Listen For

How can purpose help you overcome and push through uncertainty in life when making big decisions as well as small decisions?
What exercise can you start doing now to help you deal with anxiety and uncertainty in your everyday life?
How does indecisiveness impact the feeling of uncertainty in life and what can you do if you have a bad relationship with indecisiveness?
What is the best advice for someone entering a leadership role at work for the first time?
Why is communication so important in a leadership or management role and what tips can you start implementing today to improve your team’s productivity?
What do many of us do to contribute to a toxic work environment and what can you do to start reversing the damage before it’s too late?
How do you make friends when moving to a new city where you don’t know anyone?
What easy questions can you use at the next meetup or networking event to spark conversations with new people?
What’s the best way to follow up with new contacts after a networking event?
What is the Social Sales Funnel and why is it so effective at building new friendships and relationships no matter where you live?

As humans, we evolved to look for patterns in order to feel more secure about our surroundings, because a lack of familiarity in the wild could mean you are not in a safe location. Uncertainty makes its appearance in the form of not knowing how something will turn out - that job interview, the presentation at work, the third date with your new crush, whether or not you’ll be able to sell the house in time, etc. The list goes on forever because there is an infinite number of events to be uncertain about, and depending on how attached you are to the event (or more likely, the outcome of the event), the more stress and anxiety the uncertainty can cause you.

It is critical to your future happiness and success to be comfortable with the discomfort uncertainty brings because life is full of uncertainty and there is no way to eliminate it from your life. Start building a positive relationship with uncertainty today and you will certainly be closer to a more enjoyable life tomorrow.

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Resources from this Episode

Episode 743: Relationship Goals: Love, Friends & Work

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David Henzel on Instagram

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751: Less Stress, More Happiness with David Henzel | Q&A Mar 25, 2019

Your habits and systems determine how successful you can become, but what habits and systems can you implement in your professional life and personal life to reduce unnecessary stress and frustration while creating more space in your calendar and your mind to focus on the important things?

What to Listen For

What role do habits and systems play in determining your potential for success?
How do you balance life and work as an entrepreneur?
What is David Henzel’s definition of happiness and how can you use his approach to happiness to help strengthen your own?
What can you start doing today to take the pressure off of you in situations ranging from one-on-one settings all the way to a public speaking event?
How do you build trust with someone you care about when he or she starts pulling away?
If you recognize toxic behavior in yourself, what can you do to deal with it so you stop causing damage to the relationships in your life?
How do you set boundaries without coming across as harsh or rude?
What can you do to start making friends after school or outside of work and church?
How can you use Facebook Ads to network, make friends, and even find a date?
What red flags should you look for when making friends or looking for dates in order to save yourself time and heartache?
How do you allow someone back into your life who used to be toxic and is clearly making an effort to improve?

Balance can be a difficult goal to hit because of how often things in our lives change. Friends and relationships come and go. Work will always have highs and lows and many of us jump from job to job every few years. Money comes and goes. Our hobbies and interests evolve over time. Our bodies age and demand different levels of care from us.

Throughout all of this, it’s important for our mental, emotional, and physical well being that we maintain some semblance of balance.

Socializing is important, meaningful work is important, relaxing is important, working out is important, exposing yourself to new people and new ideas is important, but spending all of your time on any one of those things can lead to feeling burnt out, eventual boredom, loneliness, and any number of dire physical ailments stemming from not having a well-rounded healthy lifestyle.

Follow your passion and do what you love, but don’t let the rest of your life fall by the wayside.

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Resources from this Episode

Meetup.com

David Henzel

David Henzel on Twitter

David Henzel on Facebook

David Henzel on LinkedIn

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Episode 748: 7 Signs of a Toxic Relationship

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750: Overcoming Self-Doubt with Jay Shetty Mar 18, 2019

If you want to pursue your own happiness and fulfillment you are bound to make decisions that confuse or disappoint the people around you, which can lead to doubt and uncertainty in your own head, so what can you do to stay focused on your goals, how do you handle the mixed emotions of those around you, and why can trying to live up to the expectations of others lead to a life of endless regret?

What to Listen For

Why does Jay Shetty give credit to Eminem for the way he approaches storytelling?
AJ asks Jay how he made the decision to become a monk at such a young age, leaving everything he knew behind
How did Jay Shetty’s fun-filled successful life in London finance compare to his modest living as a monk in India?
What 3 things did Jay Shetty notice in the person who inspired him to pursue life as a monk, and why are they so important to be happy?
How do you deal with the toxic people you cut out of your life before achieving some success but who later want back in once they see how successful you’ve become?
Jay touches on how to handle doubt and resistance from the people you love when you want to make a life-changing decision
How do you deal with self-doubt and perfectionism when you’re trying to consistently create content with a far-reaching impact?
Why is it easier said than done to “Just be yourself” and what tips can you start using now to be more comfortable being you?
How are your passion, purpose, and happiness inextricably linked, and how can you develop your passion into a purpose to build your happiness?
If you love telling stories, how do you turn that love into full-time work?
How do you curate an inner circle you can trust and rely on for support as well as honest feedback and advice?

You only get one life. You know this, but many of us don’t live our lives with that understanding in mind. It’s an important idea to comprehend for one simple fact: you don’t live anyone else’s life, and they don’t live yours. If you want to be happy and fulfilled you must make the decisions you want to make and not the decisions other people want you to make. No matter what you do, there will be people who are going to question you and doubt you, which is why it’s critical you believe in yourself and make your dreams priority number one.

A Word From Our Sponsors

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Squarespace is the all-in-one solution for anyone looking to create a beautiful website. Check out squarespace.com/CHARM for a free trial and when you’re ready to launch, use the offer code CHARM to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

Blinkist gives you access to key insights from 2,500+ bestselling nonfiction books, transformed into powerful packs you can read or listen to in just 15 minutes. Go to Blinkist.com/AOC to start your free trial or get three months off your yearly plan when you join today.

Go to stateandliberty.com and type in the code CHARM to get 10% off your first order or mention this podcast at any of their locations.

Get $100 off the ‘eero base unit and 2 beacons package,’ and 1 year of eero Plus. Visit eero.com/charm and at checkout enter CHARM

Resources from this Episode

The Journey Home by Radhanath Swami

The Bhagavad Gita by Eknath Easwaran

Jay Shetty on Instagram

Jay Shetty on Twitter

Jay Shetty on Facebook

Jay Shetty’s Podcast

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Episode 748: 7 Signs of a Toxic Relationship

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749: How to Handle Toxic Relationships Mar 11, 2019

How can toxic people make you feel like you are losing your mind, what can they do to turn your coworkers and friends against you, and what is the best way to deal with them before the damage gets out of control, potentially leading you to lose a job, a relationship, or even your friends.

What to Listen For

Why is it so important to remove toxic people from your professional or personal social circle?
What two proven ways can you use to remove toxic people from your life?
How can a toxic person make you doubt your decision to cut them out?
How do toxic people work to turn your friends and coworkers against you?
What is gas lighting and how do toxic people use it against you to make you feel like you are losing your sanity?
What are the signs you can look for to know when you are being gas lit and what should you do if your recognize these signs today?
How do you go about dealing with toxic family members to remove their toxic influence on you?
What can you do to deal with toxic coworkers since how you handle it could impact your job security?

It’s one thing to understand the behaviors of toxic individuals so you can recognize them immediately and prevent them from getting deep enough in your life to cause any real damage. Many of you, however, might just now be identifying which of the relationships in your life are indeed toxic, and that can make it a significantly more delicate and difficult problem to address.

It is crucial to approach the problem as soon as you can to prevent the toxic individuals from doing any further damage, and once you do, you must stand by your decision. Toxic people can change, but the kind of change they must go through is not the kind of change that is going to happen after you allow them back into your life just because they got on their knees and begged for your forgiveness.

A Word From Our Sponsors

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Resources from this Episode

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Episode 740: How Defined Values Lead to Long-term Happiness | w/ Russ Harris

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748: 7 Signs of a Toxic Relationship Mar 04, 2019

Toxic relationships exist in all of our lives in varying degrees, but defines a toxic relationship, how can you identify toxic relationships in your life, and what can you do if you find out you are exhibiting toxic behavior?

What to Listen For

What is the definition of toxic when it comes to relationships?
How do you recognize when a relationship is toxic and what can you do to rectify the situation or walk away from it?
What are the 7 surefire ways of identifying a toxic person and what is the best way to handle
How can you recognize when you are the toxic half of a relationship and what can you start doing now to make sure you don’t ruin the relationship?
What 2 simple questions can you ask yourself to determine if a relationship is toxic?
Can you rid yourself completely of toxic relationships?
What does it mean to be high value?
What are 3 high values behaviors you can identify in non toxic individuals and how can you implement them in your own life?
What does it mean to exhibit cooperative behavior and why is it important if you want healthy relationships and significantly less stress?

Toxic individuals and toxic relationships are an unavoidable part of interacting with other people. It’s a numbers game - if you meet enough people you will eventually bring toxic people into your life. That’s ok, what matters is how you handle the situation once it’s in front of you. And while toxic relationships can have a damaging impact on your life in a variety of ways, it’s important to remember that the toxic individuals are still human, and aren’t necessarily bad - they’re just bad for you.

We all go through phases in our lives and each of these phases asks different things of us and of those people we bring into our lives. It’s important for you to be conscious of what is good for you and what is detrimental, and just because a relationship or friendship is toxic for you at one time it does not necessarily mean that person can never be a part of your life. Establish boundaries, allow yourself to forgive from time to time, and prioritize your health and your needs - always put your oxygen mask on before helping the person next to you.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Squarespace is the all-in-one solution for anyone looking to create a beautiful website. Check out squarespace.com/charm for a free trial and when you’re ready to launch, use the offer code CHARM to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain”

Resources from this Episode

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

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747: Living Boldly with Gia Helena Feb 25, 2019

We’ve all heard the phrase, “Fortune favors the bold” right? But what does it mean to live your life with boldness, how is it related to fear and the overcoming of fear, and in what ways is it different from simply having confidence?

What to Listen For

Do you have to be confident in order to be bold and why should you want to develop your boldness?
What can you do on a daily basis to practice boldness?
What steps can you give your children so they can develop strength and boldness in order to better succeed in life?
What stands in the way of people bringing boldness into their relationships?
How can not being your authentic self damage your relationships and prevent you from moving up in your professional life?
How much time is too much time spent trying to improve toxic relationships in your life before it’s acceptable to walk away from them?
How can you be more authentic in your relationships and how can being less authentic damage your relationships?
If you are facing a loss what can you start doing to cope with the loss to ensure you’re still able to be happy?
If you feel like you need a break from socializing, will it damage your relationships to take time off to recharge?
How do you know if your social circle truly has your back?
What can you do to maintain long distance friendships if you feel like you’re bad at it?

If confidence comes from exposing yourself to the unknown and the unfamiliar until it becomes familiar, boldness is the willingness to act in the face of fear and uncertainty. So, in order to develop either one you must be willing to take action. None of us starts at zero - we all have some level of confidence and boldness to begin with, but to improve them we must take action.

Practicing boldness will allow you to further increase your confidence, and increasing your confidence unlocks limitless potential in your life. But like any muscle or skill, if they are left alone they will begin to wither. Confidence and boldness must be exercised and practiced regularly in order to keep them growing, so get out there and start living your life with boldness.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Eight Sleep is the first bed engineered to improve your sleep through dynamic cooling and heating, detailed sleep tracking. For a limited time, get $150 off your purchase when you go to eightsleep.com/charm

Are you sick and tired of paying high interest rates on your credit cards? Go to lightstream.com/charm

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Resources from this Episode

Gia Helena

Living with Boldness

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

The Wizenard Series: Training Camp

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746: The Kobe Bryant Episode Feb 21, 2019

We all go through various acts in our lives, and each act carries with it its own challenges and relationships, so how can you take the experience, battle scars, and lessons you learned in one act as you transition into the next?

What to Listen For

How did Kobe Bryant’s relationship with Phil Jackson influence his Wizenard series of books?
Why is it important to embrace the adversity in life rather than avoiding it?
What are the biggest life lessons Kobe wants you to take away from his Wizenard book series?
Is vulnerability a sign of weakness?
How does having children change you as a person and the way you perceive yourself?
How can an unwillingness to go the extra mile actually be indicative of a fear of failure rather than simply avoiding extra work?
How do you assemble an inner circle of people you can trust?
If championships were Kobe Bryant’s Mt Everest in the past, what is his Mt Everest now and how is he going to conquer it?
Who are Kobe Bryant’s mentors as he enters the 2nd act of his life?

Life is a journey, not a destination, and if you look at your own journey you can usually split it up into segments, each with its own defining theme or challenge you had to overcome. The wonderful aspect of looking at your life in this way is that it allows you to identify what you learned and the strengths you gained from each segment. Every challenge you overcome in life strengthens you, grants you more wisdom, and makes you a more capable human overall.

Adversity in life is key to strengthening you physically, mentally, and emotionally. We should not try to avoid adversity, but to seek it, embrace it, and rely on it to make us better.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Resources from this Episode

Granity Studios

The Mamba Mentality

Kobe Bryant on Twitter

Kobe Bryant on Instagram

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Happiness from the Inside Out: The Art and Science of Fulfillment

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745: Positive Psychology & the Science of Well-Being w/ Rob Mack Feb 19, 2019

Positive psychology is a relatively new area of study and it’s garnered a ton of attention over the last few years - but what exactly is positive psychology, how is it connected to the relationships we have, and what can you start doing today to find more fulfillment, happiness, and success in life?

What to Listen For

What are the core teachings of positive psychology and how can you implement them to get through the lows of life?
What is the danger of identifying yourself with work or hobbies or relationships and if those are not ideal, where should you draw your identity from?
Rob Mack touches on cognitive agility and emotional regulation and why those two ideas help explain why so many people suffer from addiction
Why is it unhealthy to perceive relationships as something to “complete” you and how should you look at them instead?
What can you say to someone who is clearly playing the victim and help them move beyond it?
What is the one thing we know about the effective therapies around the world and how can you use it to ensure you don’t push people away?
Why can comparing yourself to others be detrimental to your happiness and how can you avoid the comparison trap?
What can you do to make life cooperate with you and make those challenging times more manageable?
How can you interact with toxic people in a manner that allows you to maintain your positive attitude?

Happiness is both a choice itself, as well as the result of choices you make in various areas of your life. To be as happy as you want to be, you must take full responsibility for everything in your life, and that includes everything that happens to you. The more blame you try to shift onto other people and things, the more power you give away, and that power is what enables you to choose your happiness.

On top of that, the people you spend time with absolutely have an influence over your ability to choose your happiness, making it harder or easier to make that choice. You can be happy and fulfilled around toxic people, but if it’s easier to be happy when you’re around people who support and encourage you and choose to engage you in positive conversations, why would you want to spend your time with anything but?

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Go to untuckit.com or visit one of UNTUCKit’s 50 stores across the US and Canada. Use promo code CHARM for 20% off your first purchase.

Squarespace is the all-in-one solution for anyone looking to create a beautiful website. Check out squarespace.com/CHARM for a free trial and when you’re ready to launch, use the offer code CHARM to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain”

Joybird is premium quality furniture, customized exactly how you want it. Go to joybird.com/CHARM and receive an exclusive offer for 25% off your first order by using the code CHARM.

Blinkist gives you access to key insights from 2,500+ bestselling nonfiction books, transformed into powerful packs you can read or listen to in just 15 minutes. Go to blinkist.com/aoc to start your FREE trial or get 3 months off your yearly plan.

Resources from this Episode

Rob Mack

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Episode 742 - The Hidden Power of Relationships

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744: Dating Done Right With Evan Marc Katz Feb 14, 2019

Chemistry is often cited by many as the defining factor in what they look for when venturing into the world of dating - but is it the most important factor when it comes to the success of long term relationships, and what can you do to maximize the chances of finding the one while ensuring you waste as little time as possible?

What to Listen For

What dating apps are the best for establishing good connections?
How do women’s preferences differ from men’s when it comes to dating and how do you take them into account when getting to know new people?
What are the advantages and disadvantages of online dating and what can you do to mitigate the potential damage caused by the disadvantages?
Is compatibility or chemistry more important in the long run and how should you be viewing both when it comes to looking for what you want?
What one simple method can you use to break things off with someone you just met and are not interested in?
How can you look at dating in a way that stops making it feel like a waste of your time and energy if you haven’t found what you’re looking for?

Relationships can be hard. Many of us have heard that, whether it’s from family or friends or coworkers. But relationships can also be easy… if you allow them to be.

In fact, most of the time a relationship with someone you’re thinking about spending the rest of your life with should be easy. That person should accept you for who you are and understand you as an individual. You’re on a team, working together to make the relationship work. This is why compatibility is so important, and arguably more so than chemistry. Chemistry will make for great memories and amazing high’s, but compatibility will carry you through the years.

A Word From Our Sponsors

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Resources from this Episode

Evan Katz TED Talk

The Paradox of Choice

Evan Katz website

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Why Emotional Connection Makes or Breaks a Relationship Episode 719

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743: Relationship Goals: Love, Friends & Work Feb 11, 2019

Smartphones and the apps that exist on them have blown the doors wide open when it comes to creating options in your dating life as well as giving you the (sometimes false) perception of keeping in touch with friends. But what are the drawbacks of relying on all these algorithms to meet new people, how can you ensure you’re actually nurturing the personal and professional relationships you already have, and what does the science tell us about the current state of our social lives?

What to Listen For

Are you more likely to meet your significant other on your own or through friends, and what does this mean for you?
How have dating apps both improved and damaged the world of dating?
Why can information overload have a negative impact on your love life and what can you do to control it?
What are emotional bids and how can you use them to improve the relationships in your life, both platonic and romantic?
What are Glue Guys/Girls and how do they hold teams together in a corporate/work environment, and what can you do to become one, reducing your chance of getting laid off and increasing your chance of getting that raise/promotion?
How do gratitude and asking for help play an important role in the formation of strong bonds, and how can you start using both today to improve your relationships?
Why is the act of validating others’ feelings so powerful, whether in a personal or professional setting, and why should you start doing it immediately?
What one thing can you do to defuse gossip on the spot when someone can’t seem to stop gossiping to you about someone?

At a surface level, romantic and professional relationships couldn’t appear more different: the intimacy, the way you speak to one another, the activities you engage in, etc.

But the beauty of human connection is on a fundamental level we all want the same things. We want to be appreciated, we want to be valued, and we want to feel as if our thoughts and feelings matter.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

GREATS designs classically inspired sneakers for men and women using luxury high quality materials and construction. Go to greats.com and use CHARM at checkout!

Live a healthier, happier, more well-rested life in just a few minutes a day with the Headspace app. Sign up now at headspace.com/CHARM to get a free month trial.

Resources from this Episode

“The National Survey of Health and Social Life” aka The Chicago Sex Survey

Turning Toward Emotion Episode 720

How to Improve Your Workplace Communication Episode 721

What Matters Most in a Difficult Conversation Episode 722

Wall Street Journal: Baseball’s Winning Glue Guys

Beyond Reciprocity: Gratitude and Relationships in Everyday Life

Social Isolation in America

Psychopath, Sociopath, or Idiots:

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Episode 693: Identifying Low Value Behaviors

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742: The Hidden Power of Relationships Feb 04, 2019

Filtering the right people into your life is a skill that can set you on the path to success if you can do it well, and failure if you do it poorly - but how do other people have such a strong influence on your life and what can you do to make sure the people in your life aren’t leading you down a road to failure and discontent?

What to Listen For

How do the people you surround yourself impact your ability to be happy and accomplish your goals?
How can your life be influenced by the friends of friends you don’t even know and what can you do to mitigate the harm they cause?
What are “value vampires” and how can you recognize them early on so they don’t waste your valuable time and energy?
What does it mean to be a high value individual and how can your pursuit of it help you avoid pain, suffering, and massive hits to your confidence?
What do high value individuals do that set them apart from others and lead them to be pursued by everyone else?
What is a “friend audit” and how can you perform one to ensure you’re not spending time with the wrong people who are bringing you down or holding you back?
Can you avoid the influence people around you have (especially when you work with them all day)?
What is the difference between gossiping and venting and why is one dangerous while the other is healthy?
What one question can you use to disarm people who try to gossip with you and shift the conversation into a constructive direction?

When you allow a low value people into your life, you don’t just bring them into your life, but their friends, their problems, baggage, low value behavior, and values and beliefs. We as humans are influenced by our surroundings more than we think, and it can be a scary thought to confront the possibility that the people closest to you are doing the most harm when it comes to your ability to move forward in life and be happy. As scary and as hard as it might be, performing an audit of your social circle could be the first step in helping you achieve your goals and/or get unstuck if you feel your progress has stalled for a while.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Problems hiring? ZipRecruiter is the highest-rated hiring site in America. Try for FREE at ziprecruiter.com/charm where ZR will send your job to 100+ of the web’s leading job boards.

Squarespace is the all-in-one solution for anyone looking to create a beautiful website. Check out squarespace.com/CHARM for a free trial and when you’re ready to launch, use the offer code CHARM to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain

Resources from this Episode

Episode 719: Why Emotional Connection Makes or Breaks a Relationship

Episode 738: What Defines Happiness

Episode 739: The Key to Happiness

Episode 740: How Defined Values Lead to Long-term Happiness

Episode 741: Train Your “Happy” | Q&A w/ Christoph Schnedlitz of hiMoment

hiMoment App

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Episode 738: What Defines Happiness

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741: Train Your "Happy" | Q&A w/ Christoph Schnedlitz of hiMoment Jan 28, 2019

Happiness is not a destination, but what does it mean to enjoy the journey, especially when the journey is bound to have rough patches, and what daily habit can you start doing now to make the journey a happy one?

What to Listen For

How can journaling improve your overall happiness and what one question can you use as a prompt everyday to get you started on the right track?
Why do the big moments we look forward to (graduation, wedding, promotion, etc) have little to no impact on our overall happiness?
Is the difference between happy people and unhappy people the events in their lives or the way they perceive the events?
If happiness is a choice, what can you do to maximize that choice?
How do your friends, family, and coworkers influence your ability to be happy?
If you’re going through a break up, what can you do to help mitigate the pain and sadness you feel so you don’t get stuck?
How can striving for success for the wrong reasons lead to you failing to be happy?
What is contributing to all of the misinformation about happiness?
How do you deal with the endless potential comparison forced upon us by social media?

Your happiness is like a muscle, one that needs regular training in order to get stronger and one that can atrophy if it is left alone for too long. You’re not going to get stronger if you train once or twice a year, so when it comes to your happiness, you’re not going to get happier if you rely on the occasional event throughout the year.

The biggest difference between happy people and unhappy people is not the events in their lives, but the way they perceive the events in their lives. If you allow the events to determine how happy you can be, you’ll never be as happy as someone who decides to be happy regardless of the events in their lives.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Go to untuckit.com or visit one of UNTUCKit’s 50 stores across the US and Canada. Use promo code CHARM for 20% off your first purchase.

Resources from this Episode

Episode 739: The Key to Happiness

Episode 740: How Defined Values Lead to Long-term Happiness

hiMoment App

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

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740: How Defined Values Lead to Long-term Happiness | w/ Russ Harris Jan 21, 2019

Happiness is not meant to be a permanent state you exist in, but if you’re not meant to just feel good all the time, what is the end goal of creating our happiness and how do we approach the inevitable pain and suffering we all face in life?

What to Listen For

Why can negative emotions be your best friend when it comes to your happiness?
Russ Harris debunks the popular myths about happiness and explains how they can actually lead you to be miserable
In what ways are meaning and purpose related to your ability to maintain your happiness in the long term?
How does Russ Harris define a rich and meaningful life that leads to an overall feeling of happiness?
What can you do to be more comfortable and accepting of “negative” emotions and how does doing so help you avoid suffering?
What is the difference between values, virtues, and morals?
Why is it so important to define your values if you want to lead a rich and meaningful life full of happiness?
Russ Harris explains what the “reality gap” and “reality slap” are and how your awareness of them can lead you to better handle life’s challenges
What is the magic wand question and how can you use it to narrow down your most important values
How do you translate values into goals and action plans to ensure you don’t stagnate?4

One of the most popular myths revolving around happiness is this idea that once you “achieve” it you’ll transcend feelings like anger, sadness, pain, and hate, but these are all part of the full depth of human experience. To attempt to remove them from your experience is to remove a part of your humanity. We utilize all of our feelings and emotions to better understand ourselves and the world we live in.

Instead, we want to change the way we look at such emotions, strive to understand what is causing you to feel unpleasant emotions, and make better choices about how you respond to them when you start feeling them. Finally, we want to learn to look inward for explanations instead of reacting outward with blame and spite.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Squarespace is the all-in-one solution for anyone looking to create a beautiful website. Check out squarespace.com/CHARM for a free trial and when you’re ready to launch, use the offer code CHARM to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain”

Joybird is premium quality furniture, customized exactly how you want it. Go to joybird.com/CHARM and receive an exclusive offer for 25% off your first order by using the code CHARM.

For a limited time, Postmates is giving our listeners $100 of free delivery credit for your first 7 days. To start your free deliveries, download the app RIGHT NOW and use code “CHARM2019”

Blinkist gives you access to key insights from 2,500+ bestselling nonfiction books, transformed into powerful packs you can read or listen to in just 15 minutes. Go to blinkist.com/aoc to start your FREE trial or get 3 months off your yearly plan.

Resources from this Episode

The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living by Russ Harris

Mindfulness Myths on YouTube

The Choice Point on YouTube

ACT Questions and Answers: A Practitioner's Guide to 150 Common Sticking Points in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy by Russ Harris

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Episode 738: What Defines Happiness

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739: The Key to Happiness? Quality Relationships Jan 14, 2019

Happiness is one of those ideas that has an endless number of quotes about where it comes from (and where it does not). We’ve heard many of them so many times we just wave them off and roll our eyes before jumping back on the hamster wheel and chasing the next piece of cheese, completely unaware of the trap we put ourselves in, but what does science say about what makes us happy, what do you need to start focusing on today in order to achieve your happiness, and what must you be aware of in order to give yourself the best chance of a long, healthy, and happy life?

What to Listen For

Why is it so difficult for us as humans to determine what makes us happy?
AJ explains why reaching milestones in life or attaining your goals does not equate to overall happiness
How has technology seemingly put happiness further out of reach?
Johnny explains how cognitive biases keep us from achieving true happiness
What is “miswanting” and why do we constantly sabotage ourselves by doing it?
What is the Harvard Study on Adult Development and how can you use the findings to achieve your own happiness?
How are happiness & health connected and what can you start doing today so you don’t lose both?
AJ explains why our focus on achievement as a society can be detrimental to our development when we’re young
Why are relationships so beneficial to our health and how can you determine whether or not yours are?
If you are lonely, why can it be more difficult to find the resources to build the connections science has shown to be so vital to our long term health and happiness?
Why is rejection and the handling of it so valuable in today’s society, especially if you don’t want to be lonely and unhappy?
What are the physiological benefits of spending time with people you care about?

There is an obvious reason reaching your goals or buying the next great thing does not bring you happiness - if only one thing in your life changes, the other 99% of your life is still the same. You can’t change one thing or achieve one thing or buy one thing and think it’s going to improve every other part of your life. Even if you could “upgrade” every part of your environment you’d still be the same person but with different surroundings, so if you’re not happy now, all those upgrades aren’t going to change who you are inside.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Problems hiring? ZipRecruiter is the highest-rated hiring site in America. Try for FREE at ziprecruiter.com/charm where ZR will send your job to 100+ of the web’s leading job boards.

Resources from this Episode

Harvard study, almost 80 years old, has proved that embracing community helps us live longer, and be happier

Social Isolation in America: Changes in Core Discussion Networks over Two Decades

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

736: How to Rewire your Brain for Success | w/ Lisa Wimberger

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738: What Defines Happiness Jan 07, 2019

It’s fair to say that happiness is one of the most important goals we can pursue in life because not much else matters if you’re not deriving some happiness from this journey we are all on - but how do we define happiness, what can we do to improve our overall happiness, and how might we be sabotaging ourselves in the pursuit of it?

What to Listen For

What is the definition of happiness?
What is the difference between contentment and pleasure with how they relate to your pursuit of happiness?
How does having meaning in your life weave into your ability to be happy?
AJ and Johnny explain the significance of being present and how it demands regular practice in order to make it stick
What are the three primary influencing factors in your happiness?
How important are the circumstances in which you live when it comes to your overall happiness?
Are your genetics the biggest or smallest contributor to our happiness?
Why are your mindset and actions the most important factor of happiness even though they’re not the biggest contributing factor?
If happiness comes down to leading a good, meaningful life then how do you design such a life to maximize your happiness?
What is the Vice-Joy-Dedication Gradient and how does it relate to your ability to find purpose and meaning in life?
What do all the successful individuals we look up to have in common and how can you implement it immediately?
How can you find meaning in your work if you hate what you do?
On average, what percentage of our waking lives do we spend daydreaming and how does it impact our ability to be happy and successful?

Attaining and maintaining happiness in life is about much more than the simple joy we feel when we engage in acts and events that bring us pleasure. Much of it comes down to the why behind our actions and goals.

If we don’t have a deeper motivation for our day to day lives we can struggle to find happiness in the sometimes seemingly insignificant things we do, like a job you hate but one you need in order to get to the one you want, or suffering through brutal workouts in order to maintain your health and achieve your fitness goals.

Always be willing to ask yourself, “Why am I doing this?” until you can get to a point where there is no deeper answer.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Squarespace is the all-in-one solution for anyone looking to create a beautiful website. Go to squarespace.com/charm for a free trial and use the offer code CHARM to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

GREATS designs classically inspired sneakers for men and women using luxury high quality materials and construction. Go to greats.com

Resources from this Episode

735: The Best Ways to Rewrite Bad Habits w/ Charles Duhigg

Happiness: it’s not just your genes, stupid!

Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance by Angela Duckworth

So Good They Can't Ignore You by Cal Newport

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

The Neurosculpting Institute

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737: Your Favorite Interviews from 2018 Dec 31, 2018

You asked and we answered! We took the three highest rated interviews from 2018 and put them into a special New Years Eve episode just for you! We kick it off with the powerhouse David Goggins, the former Navy SEAL, ultramarathon runner, and author of “Can’t Hurt Me.” We think he’s the best voice to listen to when you can’t get your ass out of bed. He has a lot to say about committing to yourself.

Next up is our interview with Dr. Steven Hayes, the leading clinical psychologist in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy - which is all about authentically accepting who you are and working on the best parts of you. Dr. Hayes dispels the “boosting self-esteem myth” and then offers a great alternative that helps everyone (including us!) work through life’s challenging moments.

Finally, we leave you with the crazy conversation we had with power investor and entrepreneur Oren Klaff. He’s going to take you into the “Croc” brain and explain why it has an iron grip on your behavior in social settings - he’ll even let you know how to use it to your advantage.

We loved having you join us this year as the Art of Charm Podcast tried out some new things. Don’t forget to chime in and tell us what YOU want us to explore in 2019. We love your feedback and your questions, so drop us a line at www.theartofhcharm.com/questions.

Happy New Year! - AJ, Johnny, and the entire Art of Charm Team

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Netsuite takes growing businesses and organizations to new heights. Get NetSuite’s guide “Crushing the Five Barriers to Growth” when you go to netsuite.com/charm

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736: How to Rewire your Brain for Success | w/ Lisa Wimberger Dec 24, 2018

Building new habits is typically not as simple as doing something different each day - sometimes we need to rewrite the stories we tell ourselves, and that’s where neurosculpting comes in, but what is neurosculpting? how can we use it to our advantage? and what can we start doing today to begin removing the barriers in our minds that stop us from developing the habits for the success?

What to Listen For

Lisa tells the story of how her experience with seizures led her to dive headfirst into neurosculpting
What is neurosculpting and how can you use Lisa’s methods to develop healthy habits and rewrite the stories in your life that are holding you back from success and happiness?
How can one simple act dissipate the stress & tension throughout your body and allow you to roll with the punches of life?
What does it mean to “orient to safety” and how can you use it to help prevent failure in building a new habit?
How can you train yourself so fear no longer stands in your way?
What are the 5 steps to rewriting the stories that are stopping you from building new habits?
Lisa explains the best way to develop a morning routine by approaching the bedtime routine first
How can you take advantage of neuroplasticity to amplify the reinforcement of new habits?
What can you do if building a new habit is encroaching on your partner’s routine and/or expectations?

Neurosculpting is a 5-step meditation process developed to take advantage of neuroplasticity, defined as the brain’s ability to reorganize itself by forming new neural connections to compensate for injury and disease and to adjust activities in response to new situations or to changes in an environment.

When it comes to building new habits, you can use neurosculpting to reinforce the building of new patterns in your brain. Using neurosculpting in place of a brute force approach allows you to rewire your brain much faster and more efficiently, giving you more control over your life, happiness, and success.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Netsuite takes growing businesses and organizations to new heights. Get NetSuite’s guide “Crushing the Five Barriers to Growth” when you go to netsuite.com/charm

“Great protection. Fair prices. Easy to use. SimpliSafe is the right way to protect your home.” Go today to SimpliSafe.com/AOC to get your system today!

Resources from this Episode

“Neurosculpting: A Whole-Brain Approach to Heal Trauma, Rewrite Limiting Beliefs, and Find Wholeness” by Lisa Wimberger

“New Beliefs, New Brain: Free Yourself from Stress and Fear” by Lisa Wimberger

Charles Duhigg | Smarter Faster Better (Episode 552)

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

"The Power of Habit" by Charles Duhigg

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735: The Best Ways to Rewrite Bad Habits w/ Charles Duhigg Dec 17, 2018

Building a new habit can be difficult if you approach it with the wrong tools and misinformation, but what does the science tell us about forming new habits, what are the right tools you need when it comes to successful habit building, and what can you start doing today to make sure you’re not getting in your own way?

What to Listen For

Why is the community you surround yourself with so important to the development of new habits and the perpetuation of bad ones?
Charles Duhigg explains why standard to-do lists are terrible for productivity and what an effective replacement looks like
What is the habit loop and how can you use the knowledge of it to change any habit you want?
How can you use the science of small wins to start making changes to your habits immediately?
What are some tricks you can use to stay motivated when building a new habit or breaking an old one?
How are intentional choices related to motivation when it comes to the psychology of routine and satisfaction?
Why is it almost impossible to “break” a habit and what should we do instead if we want to get rid of bad habits?
How can you determine the cues of bad habits so you can take them into account and prevent the bad habits from being triggered in the first place?
Charles Duhigg explains the one thing ex-smokers do that stops them from relapsing
What are mental models and how is our ability to create them directly related to our success in life?

Many of us are led to believe the formation of new habits is accomplished through a brute force approach via willpower, aka that it is entirely internal. However, the science behind habit building says otherwise - our external environment and the people around us play a significant role.

If you build an environment conducive to success it becomes infinitely easier to develop new habits and replace old ones. This can mean anything from identifying the cues that trigger bad habits and removing them, or replacing the bad habit with a good one. It can also mean surrounding yourself with a community that focuses on the habit you’re trying to build - for example, joining a weekly meetup group for writers instead of relying on your own willpower to sit down and write consistently.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Blinkist gives you access to key insights from 2,500+ bestselling nonfiction books, transformed into powerful packs you can read or listen to in just 15 minutes. Go to blinkist.com/aoc to start your FREE trial or get 3 months off your yearly plan.

Safe For Work is an advice show that reminds you that while your office may be crazy, you don’t have to be. Check it out at: https://wondery.com/shows/safe-for-work/

Resources from this Episode

“Smart Faster Better” by Charles Duhigg

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Self-esteem is Bullshit (Episode 729)

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734: 3 Phases of Habit Building You Need to Know Dec 10, 2018

Building (or breaking) a new habit can effectively be broken into 3 different phases, each with its own challenge which can prevent you from reaching the next one - but what are the 3 phases, how can awareness of each one assist you, and is a new habit locked in once you reach the 3rd phase?

What to Listen For

What are the three phases of efficiently building new habits?
How long is the “honeymoon” phase of building a new habit and what can you do to ensure you don’t fail immediately after?
What is the “fight thru” phase of habit building and how can you use knowledge of it to your advantage?
What 2 simple questions can you ask yourself everyday to keep you on track?
Why are contingency plans vital to developing and maintaining strong habits?
How do you make sure the success of building one habit doesn’t lead you to be lazy when it comes to maintaining it?
AJ explains how you can actually revert back through the phases of habit building if you’re not careful and intentional about continuing to work on them
Where does self-compassion enter the equation of habit building and how can the lack of it lead you to fail?
How can habits impede progress toward your larger goals and what can you do to mitigate the interference?
AJ and Johnny explain how to use regular goal setting, intentional novelty, and the celebration of small victories to compound your development of great habits

Building new habits is an ongoing process that requires your daily attention and effort in order to succeed. When first starting a new habit it can be easy to get caught up in the immediate rewards of progress - notice by friends and coworkers and changes in mood and feeling to give a couple examples. After the first phase, however, it becomes more challenging and it can be easy to fail unless you set your mind to the process.

Finally, once you push through the second phase into the last phase, your job is not over, because now you must work at maintaining the new habit. Set goals to keep challenging yourself, find friends or family to keep you accountable by challenging each other, and introduce novelty in whatever habit you’re trying to maintain to ensure it doesn’t get boring.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Molekule uses nanotechnology to break down pollutants on a molecular level. For $75 off your first order, visit molekule.com and at checkout enter CHARM.

Resources from this Episode

“Habit Formation: The 21-Day Myth” by Jason Selk

Master Your Mindset with David Goggins (Episode 730)

Goals: How to Pick ‘em & Achieve ’em | Chris Tye-Walker (Episode 732)

“How Habits Can Get in the Way of Your Goals” by Catherine Benner

Habits in Everyday Life: Thought, Emotion, and Action

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Just 8% of People Achieve Their New Year's Resolutions

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733: Toolbox: How to Build Habits that Stick Dec 03, 2018

Building habits is a gradual and effective process that can forever change your life when done right - but what goes into habits in the first place, what is the most effective way to break/build habits, and how can you use science and self-awareness to successfully build life-changing habits?

What to Listen For

How are willpower and habits related and how can you use one to take advantage of the other?
Why is willpower like a battery and what can you do to make sure you use that energy as effectively as possible?
Why do so many people fail at accomplishing their New Years Resolutions within the first week and what can you do to avoid that fate?
What do many of us do to set ourselves up for failure from the start?
What are the two support systems of willpower and how can you ensure they’re working for you rather than against you?
What role does self-compassion play in the successful development of habits and how can you start cultivating it today?
What is the optimal number of habits to focus on at one time and how long does it take for each habit to become routine?
How often should you practice a new habit in order to solidify it?
What time of the day is best for building new habits?
What is the one common theme we hear from the majority of our guests when it comes to how they achieved their success?
Why is tracking your progress integral in developing new habits?
What can you do to outsource your self-awareness and reduce the finite willpower you have to use?

The most energy efficient way to go through your day is when the day consists of established routines. In this case, energy is also equivalent to willpower, and the more changes you make to your daily routine, the more willpower it requires.

Therefore, the most effective way to start breaking old habits and building new ones is to start small. Understand the routines you use now, and implement one small change based on a habit you want to break or form. Then utilize the tools AJ and Johnny give you to ensure your success.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

HelloFresh are delicious, pre-measured ingredients and simple, chef-made recipes that we deliver to your doorstep every week. For a total of $60 off, that’s $20 off your first 3 boxes, visit HelloFresh.com/charm60 and enter CHARM60.

“Great protection. Fair prices. Easy to use. SimpliSafe is the right way to protect your home.” Go today to SimpliSafe.com/AOC to get your system today!

Resources from this Episode

New Years Resolution Statistics

The Radish Experiment

Self-esteem is Bullshit (Episode 729)

Effects of circadian cortisol on the development of a health habit.

Goals: How to Pick ‘em & Achieve ’em | Chris Tye-Walker (Episode 732

“Making Habits, Breaking Habits: Why We Do Things, Why We Don’t, and How to Make Any Change Stick” by Jeremy Dean, on the myth of building/breaking habits in 21 days

The Power of Accountability (Episode 703)

A Theory of Objective Self-Awareness (New York: Academic Press, 1972)

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Master Your Mindset with David Goggins (Episode 730)

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732: Goals: how to pick ‘em & achieve 'em | Chris Tye-Walker Nov 26, 2018

Physical fitness can play a significant role in rebuilding your confidence, but what all goes into achieving a desired level of fitness, how do you set goals to ensure steady progress, and how does the pursuit of health and fitness improve your life overall?

What to Listen For

What is Barry’s Bootcamp and is it for you?
How are fitness & confidence related and how can you rely on exercise to strengthen your confidence?
Why is there no single best diet for everyone and how do you figure out what foods work best for your goals?
How important are habits when it comes to working out and what can you do to avoid failure?
Chris explains why goal setting is important and how you can set goals conducive to success instead of failure
How important is it to have an accountabilibuddy and how can you find one if your friends aren’t interested?
What is the value of having a coach versus working out with friends or on your own and how can it stop you from failing?
How do you reframe small failures to further motivate you toward your goals rather than allowing them to cascade into falling off the wagon?
How do you develop resiliency in the face of strong self-doubt?

Achieving your fitness goals - whether that means getting in shape, training for a race, or just feeling healthy - is about more than just spending 30 minutes in the gym a few times a week.

First, you must eat food that is conducive to your goals. Are you trying to gain muscle or burn fat? Are you training for a marathon or a powerlifting meet or a bodybuilding competition? How well does your body respond to dairy, sugar, gluten, etc. Know your body and understand the caloric/nutrient requirements of what you’re trying to achieve.

Second, you must train in a way that allows you to track your progress. Use a journal to track your workouts and set goals for subsequent workouts. You’re not always going to have incremental progress but the key is to be able to identify a positive trend over time.

Third, your habits are crucial to making gains and keeping your sanity. We only have so much willpower in one day and the easier we can make it on ourselves to make the right decisions, the easier it will be for us to hit our goals. Go to bed early. Get enough sleep every night. Prepare your meals ahead of time each week. Reserve alcohol for one night a week or special occasions.

A Word From Our Sponsors

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Go to podium.com/charm for 10% off your monthly subscription. Become the obvious choice online. Go to podium dot com slash CHARM to get started and save 10%

Blinkist gives you access to key insights from 2,500+ bestselling nonfiction books, transformed into powerful packs you can read or listen to in just 15 minutes. Go to blinkist.com/aoc to start your FREE trial or get 3 months off your yearly plan.

DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design — even tattoo designs! Check out DesignCrowd.com/Charm for a special $100 VIP offer for our listeners or enter the discount code CHARM when posting a project.

Resources from this Episode

Chris Tye-Walker

Chris on Instagram

The Tread Series - Use code CHARM to get 20% off!

Sweatflix

Self-esteem is Bullshit (Episode 729) Steven Hayes, Ph. D.

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Phillip Stutts on Twitter

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731: BONUS with Phillip Stutts Nov 22, 2018

As we progress further down the path of technology and electronic communication, digital marketing is playing a bigger role than ever, so what is it, how does it affect you in today’s world, and what can you do to make sure you’re using it to help you instead of hinder you.

What to Listen For

What makes the present the most disruptive time in human history?
Why is it important to develop relationships first and then work on marketing second?
How do you find alignment with your customer’s values?
What are the three R’s Phillip uses to achieve success in business and politics?
What are most people doing wrong in their branding strategies?
How do you stand out as someone people should pay attention to?
Phillip explains how to improve digital communication and develop rapport using technology
How do you deal with friends who respond poorly to your emotional bids?
Phillip touches on how important vulnerability is in politics
What do you do when someone uses vulnerability to control a conversation?

We now live in a world where everyone has a voice and a platform to be heard from. As a result, there is a considerable amount of noise which means you either have to be loud enough to be heard above the noise or your message must be clear and strong enough that it pierces through the noise to reach your audience.

Rather than being loud and obnoxious in order to grab attention, you can find the proper alignment between your values and your customer’s values, ensure your branding is on point, and place an emphasis on relationship building instead of just forcing people to listen to what you have to say.

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Resources from this Episode

Fire Them Now by Phillip Stutts

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

AJ on Instagram

Johnny on Facebook

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730: Master Your Mindset with David Goggins Nov 19, 2018

We are all capable of more than we think because many of us don’t push ourselves beyond the limit our mind tells us we have - so what does it mean to master your mindset, why is it so beneficial to externalize your insecurities and fears, and how can you change your relationship with suffering in order to live the life you want.

What to Listen For

Who did David Goggins have to invent in order to change his life and how can you do the same thing right now?
What excuse are you likely to make when you listen to stories like David’s and how is it stopping you from living the life you want?
How do you flip the switch when you’re having an off-day so you can be ON IT whenever you need it?
Why is it crucial to change your relationship with suffering if you want to lead the life you dream of?
David Goggins explains what the 40% rule is and how it limits us from achieving our potential
Why do you revert to old habits when you start taking steps to change your life and what can you do make lasting changes?
David Goggins explains why he declined lucrative offers from the top 5 publishing houses to instead self-publish his book Can’t Hurt Me
What do you do when you start working on yourself and the people around you don’t support you?

For most of human history, we lived in an environment that pushed us to our physical limits in order to survive. We had to excel at being human and cooperating with other humans in order to ensure each successive generation could continue on.

Modern society, however, has decreased the need for that physical capacity and as a result, many of us do not know what it means to push ourselves to the limit and beyond, and the benefits which arise from such a pursuit.

It’s time to change that.

Pushing yourself physically is not just about exercise and getting sweaty. It’s about returning to what made us human, and to do that you must be willing to embrace pain. You must be willing to develop a positive relationship with suffering. You must be willing to master your mindset.

A Word From Our Sponsors

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Resources from this Episode

Living With a Seal by Jesse Itzler

Can’t Hurt Me by David Goggins

David on Instagram

David on Facebook

David on Twitter

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

AJ on Instagram

Johnny on Facebook

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729: Self-esteem is Bullshit Nov 12, 2018

Many of us grew up in a world that praised the idea of having high self-esteem - but what exactly is self-esteem, why have we been wrongly focused on it for so long, and what do we need to focus on moving forward?

What to Listen For

Why is artificially inflating self-esteem dangerous and how can you avoid doing it to yourself and your kids?
What is that self critical voice we all hear and how does it affect our self-esteem?
What is imposter syndrome and how does artificially inflated self-esteem contribute to it?
Dr. Hayes explains the root of the word confidence and why many people who appear confident actually are not
How is social media making it difficult for people to be self compassionate and true to themselves?
What are the three components of self-compassion and how can you implement them today to improve your confidence and quality of life?
Dr. Hayes explains how to strip your inner critic of its power
Is there such a thing as too much self-compassion?
Why is it important to determine your values and how can they help you navigate through daily life and the biggest challenges we all face?

Artificially inflating someone’s self-esteem is never advisable. On one end it can lead to a collapse of the person’s identity the moment he faces significant stress because there is no foundation for that view he holds of himself. On the other end it can lead to arrogance and entitlement when a person expects the world to be handed to her simply because she thinks she’s “the best.”

We all face challenges in life that push us to our limits and beyond, so why not equip ourselves with the tools necessary to endure the resulting pain and move forward with our lives?

One of those tools is self-compassion, a term not many of you might not be familiar with just yet.

There are 3 components to self compassion: (1) be kind to yourself, (2) realize everyone is dealing with these struggles, and (3) be present with what you feel - don’t exaggerate your feeling or play them down. If you can cultivate self-compassion you will accept that your life will not always be rainbows and butterflies, your thoughts and feelings can’t always be positive, and you can be patient with yourself during stressful times..

A Word From Our Sponsors

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When it comes to growing your business, PayPal is your payments partner for today and tomorrow • Visit PayPal.com/Growth to set up a business account today!

Resources from this Episode

Is Self Compassion More Important Than Self Esteem by Steven Hayes, Ph. D.

Alex Banayan Episode

The Third Door by Alex Banayan

Self-compassion protects against the negative effects of low self-esteem: A longitudinal study in a large adolescent sample by Sarah Marshall

Steven Hayes TED Talk

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

AJ on Instagram

Johnny on Facebook

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728: How to Bounce Back From Challenging Times Nov 05, 2018

If you want to want to flourish no matter what life throws at you, you must develop a solid foundation of resilience - but what is resilience, why is it so important to our overall happiness and success in life, and how do we make sure we have enough of it to get through the unavoidable blows to our confidence and self-esteem we all take throughout our lives?

What to Listen For

What three myths do we hear about in every Art of Charm Bootcamp?
Johnny touches on why it’s important to never get too comfortable about your own level of confidence
Why is a heavy focus on self-esteem dangerous for your confidence and what is the science that backs that up?
How does bullying start and what can you do to mitigate it in your children?
Why is resiliency more important than self-esteem and what can you do to cultivate resilience in yourself and others?
What is the operating manual for running our lives and how do we rewrite it to empower us?
What do you need to do before you can start feeling confident?
How much of your confidence is determined by your genetics and what does this mean for your ability to build confidence?
What two consequences are guaranteed when you step outside of your comfort zone and how can you prepare for them?
How do you build a healthy outlook on failure and what can it do for your future potential?
What is the proven CAKE equation and how can you use it to work on your confidence every day?
Why can coaching help you bring your confidence to a level you didn’t think possible?

If your existence in this world was a skyscraper, the beautiful mirror finish would be your self-esteem, the strong internal structure would be your confidence, and the unbreakable foundation would be your resilience.

Without the internal support of your confidence, your “shiny” self-esteem is a fragile shell waiting to buckle at the first sign of stress. And building confidence without a solid foundation of resilience is asking for trouble. Something is eventually going to shake your confidence, so why wouldn’t you want a solid foundation in place to ensure you don’t have to rebuild your confidence from the ground up every time life throws another curveball your way?

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

Go to podium.com/charm for 10% off your monthly subscription. Become the obvious choice online. Go to podium dot com slash CHARM to get started and save 10%

Blinkist gives you access to key insights from 2,500+ bestselling nonfiction books, transformed into powerful packs you can read or listen to in just 15 minutes. Go to blinkist.com/aoc to start your FREE trial or get 3 months off your yearly plan.

Resources from this Episode

Sugar Ray Leonard Episode

Does High Self-Esteem Cause Better Performance, Interpersonal Success, Happiness, or Healthier Lifestyles?

Some People Are Genetically Wired To Be More Confident

Brene Brown

Sean Stephenson

Dr. Steven Hayes

Art of Charm Bootcamp

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

AJ on Facebook

Johnny on Twitter

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727: Sugar Ray Leonard Oct 29, 2018

Sugar Ray Leonard is regarded as one of the greatest boxers of all time, but did you know he battled social anxiety and substance abuse during his career? We all face obstacles in life on our individual paths to success, so how can we take a solid inventory of our strengths and weaknesses, surround ourselves with people who support and encourage us, and outwork everyone around us to ensure we achieve the success we want in life regardless of the hand we’ve been dealt?

What to Listen For

How did Sugar Ray know he was going to win or lose a fight before it even started and how can you apply that knowledge to the challenges in your life?
Sugar Ray’s approach his training compared to his competition
Why is it important to remain adaptable throughout your professional and personal lives?
When did Sugar Ray realize he was hooked on boxing and why was it related to his brother’s broken nose?
How life is similar to a boxing match
What can we all learn from getting punched in the face?
How do you maintain perspective and groundedness when you start seeing success and why is it important to your future success?
Sugar Ray discusses his morning routine and why it’s so conducive to increased productivity and focus during the day
How did Sugar Ray overcome his social anxiety both inside and outside the ring to become one of the greatest boxers of all time?
Why are mentors critical to your success in any line of work?
What boxing lessons did Sugar Ray strive to instill in his children and what can we all learn from those lessons?

The path to success for anyone is never a straight shot. Often it is plagued with challenges, struggle, blood, sweat, and tears. In addition, we all have weaknesses to contend with as well. However, we can either use the hurdles in our path as excuses for why we can’t finish the race, or we can learn to jump over them. We can let life knock us off our feet and stay there, or we can keep getting back up and take the next punch with a smile.

Life is in many ways like a boxing match. We all go through different rounds, we’re not guaranteed any certain number of them, we win some and lose some, and no one will hit you as hard as life does. Stories like that of Sugar Ray exist to inspire us and show us what can be accomplished when your heart is in the right place, you believe in yourself, and you surround yourself with people you can count on to propel you to the top.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

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Resources from this Episode

Sugar Ray Leonard

Sugar Ray Leonard Foundation

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AJ on Instagram

Johnny on Twitter

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726: 5 Hacks to Improve Your Listening | Q&A w/ Oscar Trimboli Oct 22, 2018

Many of us take listening for granted because we do it all day every day, but did you know there are multiple layers to listening and many of us only focus on one of them - so what does it mean to listen in color versus black and white, how can you vastly improve your listening skills with a few tips you can start using today, and why is effective listening such a powerful skill to have?

What to Listen For

How can you use silence in conversation to improve your listening skills?
What are the four villains of listening and how can you avoid becoming each one?
What is the 125-400 rule and why is it so important when it comes to effective communication?
What tips can you implement today to become a better listener at work and at home?
How can you use body language to improve your listening ability?
What does listening for patterns in what people say teach you about what’s important to them?
What is the difference between listening with your head and listening with your heart?
What are the five levels of listening and which one do 86% of people zero in on?
The one question you can use at any networking event to connect with anyone

Listening is the most important skill we can develop as humans because we primarily communicate using spoken language. In addition, one could argue the only reason we have made it this far as a species is our ability to work together in large groups, so where would we be if we never developed language and therefore the ability to listen to and understand what others want us to know?

Technology has since replaced many of the reasons we initially developed and used spoken language for (oral history, traditions, business, transactions, etc), but it is still the most effective method we have to build deep meaningful relationships with our fellow humans. Also, because of our increasing reliance on technology, attentive listening (aka not getting distracted by our mobile devices every time we hear something vibrate) is not a skill that is being adequately cultivated in the current and subsequent generations. It’s time to change that.

A Word From Our Sponsors

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When it comes to growing your business, PayPal is your payments partner for today and tomorrow. Visit PayPal.com/Growth to set up a business account today

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Resources from this Episode

Oscar Trimboli

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

AJ on Instagram

Johnny on Twitter

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725: Boost Your Emotional Intelligence w/ Michael Ventura Oct 15, 2018

Cultivating empathy is crucial in developing solid relationships in our personal and professional lives -- but what exactly is it, how is it different from sympathy, why did Michael Ventura found a company based on it, and what steps can we start taking today to work on it?

What to Listen For

Why getting it wrong is human and how it can enable you to embrace making mistakes.
How does being vulnerable help to motivate those around you?
What is the core principle of empathy?
The seven archetypes of empathy as described in Michael Ventura’s book, Applied Empathy, and how knowing them can improve your relationships inside and outside the office.
What one exercise can you start doing right now to be more present?
How a severe injury and Eastern medicine altered the course of Michael Ventura’s life to lead him to found Sub Rosa and writing Applied Empathy.
What empathy is NOT.
Empathy versus sympathy and why sympathy leads to disconnection instead of connection.
How do sociopaths use empathy against us and the red flags to look for.
Michael Ventura explains how to cultivate empathy in larger groups.
What one tip does Michael Ventura recommend to everyone to start improving their listening skills NOW which he also uses himself?

Empathy is the ability to put yourself in the shoes of another person in order to understand WHY that person is feeling a certain way. While it often gets mixed up with sympathy, the effects they have are polar opposites: empathy allows you to connect with others while sympathy leads to a disconnect.

Fortunately, once empathy is clearly defined and you understand the variety of examples as well as start taking steps to work on your ability to empathize, you will quickly notice the relationships in your life grow and strengthen.

PLEASE SCROLL DOWN FOR FULL SHOW NOTES AND FEATURED RESOURCES

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

HoneyBook makes it easy for you to book your ideal client faster, more frequently, and with less legwork. Art of Charm listeners can get 50% off the first year of Honeybook with promo code CHARM. Sign up at honeybook.com

RXBAR wants to build things the right way. RXBAR believes in the power of transparency, and lets the core ingredients do all the talking with all of them listed on the front of the packaging. For 25% off your first order, visit RXBAR.com/aoc AND ENTER PROMO CODE: AOC AT CHECKOUT.

Blinkist gives you access to key insights from 2,500+ bestselling nonfiction books, transformed into powerful packs you can read or listen to in just 15 minutes. Go to blinkist.com/aoc to start your FREE trial or get 3 months off your yearly plan.

Resources from this Episode

Applied Empathy by Michael Ventura

https://appliedempathy.com/

Sub Rosa - Michael Ventura’s company

https://wearesubrosa.com/

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

AJ on Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/ajharbinger

Johnny on Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/john.dzubak

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724: How to Deepen Your Connection With Others | Article Oct 08, 2018

Technology in the digital age has made it easier than ever to form new connections and stay in touch with old ones, but it’s also led to increased loneliness and flakiness as people rack up more screen time and less face time, so why is this, why is showing up so important in deepening your connections with others, and what does showing up actually mean?

Unfortunately, you may be paying the price of not knowing what that balance looks like if you’re not making a conscious effort to make new connections, deepen your existing ones, and actually show up for the people in your life.

What to Listen For:

Why is digital communication made to make you feel good and not the person you’re talking to?
Why do people flake and how do we overcome that flakiness?
How can we deepen the connections we already have?
Why do we tend to lose friends over time?
The value of getting comfortable saying NO
What does “showing up” for your friends actually entail?
The tools to turn acquaintances into true connections and salvage friendships that might be drifting away
Why is it more important to be there for the defeats rather than the victories?
What one thing can you say to someone going through a tough time when you don’t know what to say

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity for everyone — both men and women — to create accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today theartofcharm.com/challenge.

Sponsors:

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Blinkist gives you access to key insights from 2,500+ bestselling nonfiction books, transformed into powerful packs you can read or listen to in just 15 minutes. Go to blinkist.com/aoc to start your FREE trial or get 3 months off your yearly plan.

DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design — even tattoo designs! Check out DesignCrowd.com/Charm for a special $100 VIP offer for our listeners or enter the discount code CHARM when posting a project.

Warby Parker has prescription eyeglasses starting at $95 Fast, free shipping both ways. Go to warbyparker.com/aoc to get started with your free at-home trial.

Resources from this Episode

If you’re wondering why you’ve lost friends in adulthood, this is probably why by Jackie Luo

A More Or Less Definitive Guide To Showing Up For Friends by Rachel Wilkerson Miller, Anna Borges, Terri Pous, Gyan Yankovich

Jaron Lanier

Trust and Betrayal - by Jillian Raftery, based on research by John Gottman

Trust and The Marble Jar Video - Brene Brown

Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi

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722: What Matters Most in a Difficult Conversation | Q&A w/ Andrea J. Lee Sep 24, 2018

In this episode of The Art of Charm, AJ (@AJHarbinger) and Johnny (@AOCJohnny) wrap up September’s month of Emotional Bids. Before answering listener questions, they speak with Andrea Lee (andreajlee.com), an accomplished coach, successful author, and violence prevention expert.

From difficult personal conversations to work-related challenges Andrea believes that the RIGHT use of power - “emotional leadership” is crucial as we try to navigate. Without it, we end up with the abuse of power and interactions that can lead to emotional abuse.

Andrea draws on her personal experience with difficult conversations from both ends of the spectrum - as both a victim and perpetrator of abuse. She shares what it takes to redeem yourself and rebuild any fractured relationship. Throughout their discussion, AJ, Johnny, and Andrea go in-depth into these moments, discussing the critical turning points in their lives and how they were able to overcome them. And we answer listener questions about emotional bids and personal relationships.

WHAT TO LISTEN OUT FOR

How can someone break the pattern of abuse in his/her life? Trigger Warning: this episode does contain a discussion about abuse. If this is a trigger for you please be aware.
What is the first step to fully understanding a conflict with someone?
Saying “yes” is important, but why saying “no” can be even more powerful, and how we can do it with compassion towards others.
The Delta model - a 3-point tool that can be universally applied to the toughest conversations.
How can you prepare for a conversation you’re afraid of having with a loved one, partner or colleague.

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Blinkist gives you access to key insights from 2,500+ bestselling nonfiction books, transformed into powerful packs you can read or listen to in just 15 minutes. Go to Blinkist.com/AOC to start your free trial or get three months off your yearly plan when you join today.

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“Great protection. Fair prices. Easy to use. SimpliSafe is the right way to protect your home.” Go today to SimpliSafe.com/AOC to get your system today!

RESOURCES

* Andrea J. Lee - https://andreajlee.com

* “We Need to Talk: Your Guide to Challenging Business Conversations” by Andrea J. Lee - https://amazon.com

* “The Power of the Positive No” by Dr. William Yuri - https://amazon.com

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* The Art of Charm Insiders | theartofcharm.com/insiders

* The Art of Charm Bootcamp | theartofcharm.com/personal-bootcamp/

* Best of The Art of Charm Podcast | theartofcharm.com/category/best-of/

* The Art of Charm Toolbox | theartofcharm.com/category/toolbox-episodes

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721: How to Improve Your Workplace Communication | Michael Sorensen Sep 17, 2018

On this episode of the Art of Charm, AJ (@AJHarbinger) and Johnny (@AOCJohnny) take emotional bids to the next level by speaking with an expert on validation - one of the most important parts of human connection. That expert is Michael Sorensen, a marketing executive, personal-development junkie, and the author of the best-selling book “I Hear You: The Surprisingly Simple Skill Behind Extraordinary Relationships. Michael shares his own experiences on the job and in his personal life that led him to writing his book and understanding just how important validation is in creating strong bonds with others.

WHAT TO LISTEN OUT FOR

At the end of the day, it’s all about relationships. So, why is validation such a great tool for managing the important relationships in your life

Where is one of the best places to start fostering good validation skills?

What are some examples of something meaningful to say to someone that’s seeking validation?

Why being silent can indirectly push someone away from you

What is one of the most effective ways to understand someone seeking validation and emotional attention?

When do you know it’s the right time to give someone advice?

After taking a listen to this episode, take a moment to think of the best ways for you to make connections with those around you. Are you finding yourself opening up or closing off to those who seeking emotional attention from you? By becoming more aware of these hidden opportunities, we can take better advantage of them and create meaningful relationships.

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RESOURCES

* Michael Sorensen - www.MichaelSSorensen.com

* “I Hear You” Book: https://amazon.com

* The Gottman Institute - https://www.gottman.com

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720: Turning Toward Emotion | Article Sep 10, 2018

AJ (@AJHarbinger) and Johnny (@AOCJohnny) continue the theme of Emotional Bids by discussing practical ways to deepen and strengthen the connections with the people in our lives. Their source for this week’s discussion comes from a Gottman Institute article by Zach Brittle:

https://www.gottman.com/blog/turn-toward-instead-of-away/

Whether it’s reciprocating feelings, talking about your day, or even better understanding physical touch, emotional bids help develop human-to-human connection and build long-lasting relationships.

WHAT TO LISTEN OUT FOR

* How can the use of emotional bids help us make better connections with the people?

* What is the best way to react to an emotional bid?

* We might not always be able to respond to someone’s emotional bid right away. How can we respond to someone to still show that we care?

*What role does humor play in emotional connection?

* What’s an example of an emotional bid that can be easily overlooked?

* We know that being too vulnerable can often put someone off. What ways can you think of that can create this tension?

Johnny and AJ share their own experiences with missing emotional bids over the years.

Whether it's getting to know someone for the first time or diving into the deepest parts of a romantic relationship, knowing how to spot an emotional bid and how to react is crucial to creating a true bond with someone we care about.

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RESOURCES

* The Ben Franklin Effect - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ben_Franklin_effect

* The Gottman Institute - https://www.gottman.com

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* The Art of Charm Challenge | theartofcharm.com/challenge

* The Art of Charm Insiders | theartofcharm.com/insiders

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* Best of The Art of Charm Podcast | theartofcharm.com/category/best-of/

* The Art of Charm Toolbox | theartofcharm.com/category/toolbox-episodes

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719: Why Emotional Connection Makes or Breaks a Relationship | ToolBox Sep 04, 2018

In this episode, AJ and Johnny speak on the importance of “emotional bids,” and how to successfully identify and respond to them to create a deeper connection with the people around you. We start with a look at the clinical researcher, Dr. John Gottman and the study he conducted that helped define what an emotional bid is and why it is so important. Then, AJ and Johnny describe how we can positively or negatively respond to a whole array of emotional bids – and how that can make or break a relationship. We also learn how you don’t have to tell all of your deepest and darkest secrets to feel like someone truly understands you.

WHAT TO LISTEN OUT FOR

* What is the simplest way to show vulnerability to someone we’re trying to connect with?

* Are emotional bids always easy to spot?

* How can you be more actively present in your relationships?

* In the moments after you put down your phone, are you truly disconnected from it?

* What is “turning towards”, and how can you create more of these positive interactions in your life?

* What is one of the most important ways to connect yourself to someone else’s emotional bid?

NOTES ON DR. JOHN GOTTMAN

By watching a couple interact for just 3 minutes, Dr. John Gottman could predict with up to 94 percent certainty whether the couple would eventually separate, remain unhappy, or continue as a happily couple for several years. AJ and Johnny share examples of their own lives to better understand how vital emotional bids are in connecting with others and in creating value in a relationship.

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RESOURCES

Dr. John Gottman’s 1999 study on couples

www.gottman.com/about/research/couples/

KEEP UP WITH THE ART OF CHARM

* The Art of Charm Challenge | theartofcharm.com/challenge

* The Art of Charm Insiders | theartofcharm.com/insiders

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* Best of The Art of Charm Podcast | theartofcharm.com/category/best-of/

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Wanna RUN A HALF MARATHON in a Halloween costume w/ AJ & Johnny?

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718: Overcoming Social Anxiety in your Career | Q&A w/ Chris “Drama” Pfaff Aug 27, 2018

Christopher “Drama” Pfaff (@drama) is an entrepreneur, producer, and reality TV star. He is best known for his roles in the MTV reality shows “Rob and Big” and “Rob Dyrdek’s Fantasy Factory”. In addition, he has founded “Young & Reckless Clothing” as well a music production company and a podcast, “Short Story Long”. In this episode, AJ and Johnny ask Drama about his methods for overcoming social anxiety and how to reset people’s first impressions. and how to take advantage of opportunities to expand upon them to create your own entrepreneurial endeavors.

WHAT TO LISTEN OUT FOR

How can you effectively get over social anxiety?
After hearing about how Drama had the courage to skip college entirely and take a chance on LA, how can you transform a burning desire into purposeful action?
One of Drama’s biggest tips: Don’t ever be afraid to ask! You never know who will say yes. How can you take this mentality into your life to find success in the career and dating world?
What’s one of the best questions to ask yourself if you truly want to make an impact on the world?
How do you create a day where you’re on the offense in your work life instead of the defense?
How do you not seize up during conversations?
How do you resist from taking charge over a room?
How can you actively create adventures in your life?

Through practice, courage, and just doing it, we learn how to create change in our lives and foster a connection with the people around us. This formula is incredibly important to build the foundation of The Art of Charm through each and every bootcamp.

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Resources

“Short Story Long” podcast by Drama

Keep up with The Art of Charm

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717: Beat Approach Anxiety | Alex Banayan Aug 20, 2018

In this episode, AJ and Johnny interview Alex Banayan (@AlexBanayan), author of “The Third Door” about his 7-year journey to interview some of the most successful people in the world. Alex shares detail about his struggles to reach his dream and the personal social barriers he had to break down to get there. Alex also shares advice, wisdom, and tricks of the trade from the people he interviewed, Bill Gates, Tim Ferriss, Larry King, and many more.

What To Listen Out For

What is the “third door”, and how can you create one in your life?
Having a great working relationship with your own fear and weakness can become a powerful tool to stop fighting with your insecurities, and to instead embrace them. In what way can you become more assured of yourself by letting go?
As Larry King told Alex, technology has changed but people haven’t. How can you break through the barriers of technology to create a real connection with someone?
Where do you see “the flinch” taking over in your life?
As Alex can attest to, Tim Ferriss teaches us that persistence is not always going to get us what we want. What are a few key insights to be sure we don’t scare away the person we’re trying to get in front of?
What’s a great way to create a relationship organically with someone online?

AJ and Johnny discuss with Alex the parallels between their experiences and what they’ve learned through teaching at the AoC Bootcamp.

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Check out our bootcamp page to learn about the Art of Charm’s personal training!

Resources

The Third Door, written by Alex Banayan

When Things Fall Apart, by Pema Chödrön

Keep up with The Art of Charm

The Art of Charm Challenge
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Enjoying what you hear? Your reviews are essential to us and for those who haven’t discovered The Art of Charm podcast yet. Click here to share your Art of Charm experience.

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716: 8 Tips to Keep the Conversation Going Aug 13, 2018

How do you take a conversation to the next level and create real connection? In this episode of The Art of Charm podcast, AJ and Johnny explain 8 fundamental steps to develop a relationship beyond just a brief interaction with a stranger on the train, scoring a number at a bar, or a handshake at a business conference. Learn the social cues, the mental tricks, and the right body language to tee up a compelling conversation.

The 8 Steps

Take from the following article - 8 Insanely Effective Ways to Connect with Anyone You Meet

1. PAY ATTENTION - It’s simple but so easy to overlook.

*What are a few ways for you to lock into a conversation?

2. SEEK FEEDBACK - From trusted friends to tell you the truth on what you can improve on.

*Can you think of someone who you can talk to about this? Call them tonight!

3. ASK QUESTIONS - What’s everyone’s favorite topic? Encourage people to talk about themselves and share their experiences with you to create understanding.

*How can you show someone your genuine interest in who they are?

4. REMEMBER YOUR NAME - What’s the best way to remember someone’s name and how can you use these tools during your next night out?

5. DON’T PRETEND YOU KNOW EVERYTHING - It’s the biggest turn-off of them all!

*In fact, what’s one of the best ways to create a seamless and empathetic connection to turn someone one and create a connect?

6. CARE ABOUT OTHERS about others! Show appreciation for the people around you and let that bleed over into all areas of your life.

*How can you create grateful positivity to spread over into your environment?

7. SEE A ROOM FULL OF FRIENDS - Visualize that at your next outing — treat no one like a stranger.

*What’s one of the reactions that we have by becoming uncomfortable in a new environment?

**REMEMBER: This takes practice! If you expect everyone to treat you like a friend, you might set too high of an expectation, so take it in stride.

8. CONNECT IN PERSON. As much as we might want to, we can’t truly connect online! But it’s easy to be afraid of the risk and rejection of meeting in person.

*In what ways can you pivot your body language to show true interest to someone you’re meeting in person?

This was a big episode, but don’t get overwhelmed! Focus on finding that one genuine friend and go from there. And remember: Humans are naturally bad at active listening, so don’t beat yourself up if you find yourself struggling along the way.

Through these podcasts, we strive to give you daily hacks for your life that you can use to overcome the whims of your primitive mind and truly connect with the people around you!

Check out our bootcamp page to learn about the Art of Charm’s personal training!