Stay ConnectedAudio-Only Episodes. Captain’s Log: No guests. No fluff. Just me, the mic, and whatever’s clawing at my insides. Think audio journaling meets back-of-the-bar confessions. Less psychobabble, more soul bleed. Raw, real, and mostly for me.
Audio + Video Episodes. You ask, I riff. Therapy meets real talk. More structure, more insight, more of the good stuff on love, dating, and tools we need to build a healthy relationship. Awesome guests. Less navel-gazing, more crowd-serving. This one’s for you.
Copyright: © 2024
Being in love and loving someone aren’t always the same thing.
Being in love can be about chemistry, longing, fantasy, desire, and the way someone makes you feel. But loving someone asks something harder: can you keep seeing who they actually are as they change? Can you stay curious about the person they’re becoming instead of holding them to the version you first fell for?
In this episode, I talk about why intensity alone isn’t enough to build a life with someone, why long-term relationships can go through seasons where the love feels different, and why falling out of love doesn’t automatically mean the relationship is over.
I also get into what happens after betrayal when you’re still watching an ex’s life and waiting for them to suffer, fail, or finally understand what they did to you. At some point, healing means taking your attention back and putting it somewhere they no longer get to participate in.
And I answer one of the questions I hear most: how do you know whether your marriage is going through a hard season or whether the relationship is actually ending?
In this episode, I talk about:
• The difference between being in love and loving someone
• Why intensity and chemistry aren’t enough
• Loving someone as they grow and change
• Why we sometimes miss who we were in a relationship more than the person
• Three questions to ask when looking back on a past relationship
• Why falling in and out of love can be part of a long-term relationship
• How to stop making an ex’s life evidence for your own
• Why healing can require teaching your attention a new address
• The difference between a hard season and a relationship that may be ending
• Why movement, ownership, and changed behavior matter more than promises
Sometimes love isn’t about getting back to who you used to be together. Sometimes it’s about deciding whether you still want to know and choose the people you’re becoming.
If you’re tired of knowing what you need to change but still repeating the same patterns, 31 Days to Get Out of Your Own Way is for you.
For 31 days, we’ll work on closing the gap between insight and action through structure, accountability, and ownership. Less analyzing yourself. More making different choices and actually changing your life.
Learn more and join here:
https://nas.com/therapist-membership-qa-space/challenges/31-days-to-get-out-of-your-own-way
🎙️ Connect with me:
📘 My latest book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest.
https://www.harpercollins.com/products/love-hard-on-purpose-john-kim?variant=44339801227298
My book publishing company, Soulprint:
https://www.soulprintmedia.co
📘 Read my book in progress, Sht Your Therapist Would Never Tell You, on Substack:*
https://substack.com/@theangrytherapist
If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available here:
https://theangrytherapist.thrivecart.com/secure-self-bundle/
📘 Order my book, Break Up. On Purpose.:
https://www.harpercollins.com/products/break-up-on-purpose-john-kim?variant=42305553956898
Follow me on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/theangrytherapist/
Find out more:
https://www.theangrytherapist.com/
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
What happens when one person is willing to grow and the other isn’t, why growth should be an invitation rather than an ultimatum, and why sometimes the most important thing your partner needs from you isn’t perfection — it’s your willingness to lean in.
In this episode, I sit down with Bryan Reeves to talk about what changes in the second half of life and why the rules that got us here may not be the same ones that carry us forward.
We also get into men’s loneliness, why so many men wait until life or a relationship falls apart before asking for support, and how the need to be the hero can keep us isolated.
We also talk about becoming fathers later in life, how pregnancy can expose old wounds and patterns in a relationship, and why presence may matter more than getting everything right.
In this episode, we talk about:
Why the second half of life requires a different kind of ambition
When achievement and success stop feeling like enough
Meaning, impact, and the temptation to become cynical
Why so many men feel lonely even when they’re surrounded by people
The “hero” mindset and hyper-independence
Why men often wait for a crisis before asking for help
What to do when you want to work on your relationship and your partner doesn’t
Relationship as invitation instead of obligation
Resentment and the importance of speaking up before it’s too late
How pregnancy can expose deeper wounds in a relationship
Becoming a father later in life
Why being present matters more than being perfect
Thanks for listening. If something in this conversation makes you think of someone, send it their way.
Connect with Bryan Reeves:
Website: https://bryanreeves.com/
Book — Choose Her Every Day (Or Leave Her): https://bryanreeves.com/book
Love With Integrity Online Community: https://www.skool.com/lovewithintegrity
If you’re tired of knowing what you need to change but still repeating the same patterns, 31 Days to Get Out of Your Own Way is for you.
For 31 days, we’ll work on closing the gap between insight and action through structure, accountability, and ownership. Less analyzing yourself. More making different choices and actually changing your life.
Learn more and join here:
https://nas.com/therapist-membership-qa-space/challenges/31-days-to-get-out-of-your-own-way
🎙️ Connect with me:
📘 My latest book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest.
https://www.harpercollins.com/products/love-hard-on-purpose-john-kim?variant=44339801227298
📚 My book publishing company, Soulprint:
https://www.soulprintmedia.co
📖 Read my book in progress, Sht Your Therapist Would Never Tell You, on Substack:*
https://substack.com/@theangrytherapist
Ready for deeper work? Check out my Secure Self course:
https://theangrytherapist.thrivecart.com/secure-self-bundle/
📘 Order my book, Break Up. On Purpose.:
https://www.harpercollins.com/products/break-up-on-purpose-john-kim?variant=42305553956898
📱 Follow me on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/theangrytherapist/
🌐 Find out more:
https://www.theangrytherapist.com/
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
What if the life you spent years trying to build isn’t the life you want anymore?
For most of my life, I was trying to arrive somewhere - make more money, build the audience, get another book deal, buy the house, become somebody. There was always another number to hit, another door to get through, another version of myself I thought would finally let me exhale.
But lately, something has shifted.
In this episode, I talk about giving yourself permission to disappoint the person you used to be. Not because that version of you was wrong, but because you’re allowed to change. You’re allowed to outgrow the goals, identities, and plans that once made perfect sense.
I get into the difference between constantly becoming someone and actually experiencing your life, why ambition can be useful without being allowed to drive, and how easy it is to postpone happiness by attaching it to the next achievement, relationship, body, house, promotion, or milestone.
Maybe the question isn’t, “Where is all of this going?”
Maybe it’s, “Where can I go while I’m still here?”
I also answer an Ask Angry question about knowing when it may be time to leave a marriage - and why waiting for absolute certainty can keep us stuck much longer than we realize.
In this episode, I talk about:
Thanks for listening. If something in this episode hits you, pass it along to someone who might need it.
If you’re tired of knowing what you need to change but still repeating the same patterns, 31 Days to Get Out of Your Own Way is for you.
For 31 days, we’ll work on closing the gap between insight and action through structure, accountability, and ownership.
Less analyzing yourself. More making different choices and actually changing your life.
Learn more and join here:
https://nas.com/therapist-membership-qa-space/challenges/31-days-to-get-out-of-your-own-way
🎙️ CONNECT WITH ME
📘 My latest book, Love Hard On Purpose
Toss the blueprints. Build something honest.
https://www.harpercollins.com/products/love-hard-on-purpose-john-kim?variant=44339801227298
📚 My book publishing company, Soulprint
https://www.soulprintmedia.co
📘 Read my book in progress, Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You, on Substack
https://substack.com/@theangrytherapist
🧠 Ready for deeper work? Check out the Secure Self course
https://theangrytherapist.thrivecart.com/secure-self-bundle/
📘 Order my book, Break Up. On Purpose.
https://www.harpercollins.com/products/break-up-on-purpose-john-kim?variant=42305553956898
📱 Follow me on Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/theangrytherapist/?hl=en
🌐 Find out more
https://www.theangrytherapist.com/
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
How do you know whether a relationship can last and when it might be time to leave? In this Therapy Thursdays episode, we take on your questions about conflict, attraction, exes, love languages and the hurt we carry into new relationships. There’s one question underneath many of them: are you working through what’s happening, or waiting for something to change? If you’re tired of knowing what you need to change but still repeating the same patterns, 31 Days to Get Out of Your Own Way is for you. For 31 days, we’ll work on closing the gap between insight and action through structure, accountability, and ownership. Less analyzing yourself. More making different choices and actually changing your life. Learn more and join here: https://nas.com/therapist-membership-qa-space/challenges/31-days-to-get-out-of-your-own-way Connect with me: 📘 My latest book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest. https://www.harpercollins.com/products/love-hard-on-purpose-john-kim?variant=44339801227298 My book publishing company, Soulprint: https://www.soulprintmedia.co 📘 Read my book in progress, Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You, on Substack: https://substack.com/@theangrytherapist If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available here: https://theangrytherapist.thrivecart.com/secure-self-bundle/ 📘 My book, Break Up On Purpose: https://www.harpercollins.com/products/break-up-on-purpose-john-kim?variant=42305553956898 📸 Instagram: https://instagram.com/theangrytherapist 🌐 Find out more: https://www.theangrytherapist.com/
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
What matters more than love?
My answer is capacity.
I think we’ve wildly overestimated love’s ability to carry a relationship. You can love someone deeply and still lie to them, betray them, disappear when things get uncomfortable, refuse to look at yourself, or be unable to create a safe space for them. Love is a feeling. A relationship requires skills.
In this episode, I answer questions about what actually makes relationships work, how relationships change over time, and what it means to leave someone you still love. I also talk about social media, comparison, and how constantly looking at everyone else’s life can make us question our own.
I talk about:
● Why love alone isn’t enough to sustain a relationship
● Capacity, communication, accountability, and repair
● Why long-term relationships require us to grow and become someone we’ve never been before
● What happens when couples resist change and begin to drift apart
● How you can love someone and still know you don’t want to spend the rest of your life with them
● Why staying in a relationship out of fear can sometimes create more pain
● The difference between inspiration and inadequacy on social media
● How comparison can make you overlook the life you’re actually living
Thanks for listening. If any of these words help you or someone you know, pass them along.
If you’re tired of knowing what you need to change but still repeating the same patterns, 31 Days to Get Out of Your Own Way is for you.
For 31 days, we’ll work on closing the gap between insight and action through structure, accountability, and ownership. Less analyzing yourself. More making different choices and actually changing your life.
Learn more and join here: https://nas.com/therapist-membership-qa-space/challenges/31-days-to-get-out-of-your-own-way
🎙️ Connect with me:
📘 My latest book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest. HERE
My book publishing company: Soulprint https://www.soulprintmedia.co
📘 Read my book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You onmy SubStack HERE
If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE
Order my book, Break Up. On Purpose, HERE
Follow on Instagram HERE
Find out more HERE
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
What happens when you decide an idea is worth pursuing, even when you don't know where it's going to take you?
Kelsey Crane joins me to talk about The Vanishing, her debut novel and the first book in The Exiles trilogy. We get into her journey from storytelling and gardening to writing a novel, why she chose to self-publish, what it feels like to reinvent yourself in your 40s, and the fear that comes with putting your work into the world.
We also talk about nature, creativity, climate change, the power of storytelling, and the idea that we're not defined by one story or one moment in our lives. Kelsey shares why she believes creating something for future generations can be a powerful source of motivation.
In this episode:
• Reinventing yourself in your 40s
• Writing your first novel
• The reality of self-publishing
• Fear and pushing through uncertainty
• Nature as a source of creativity
• Climate fiction and telling teenagers the truth
• Why it's okay to be a beginner
• Creating a legacy for future generations
Follow Kelsey and check out The Vanishing.
Guest links:
✨ The Vanishing novel: https://tr.ee/nhKDU8
✨ Shopify: http://bit.ly/4hmSopJ
✨ Goodreads: http://bit.ly/4fRbbs9
✨ Website: https://www.theexilesseries.com
✨ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/artforartssake
🎙️ Connect with me:
📘 My latest book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest.HERE
My book publishing company, Soulprint:HERE
📘 Read my book in progress, Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You, on Substack:HERE
If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available:HERE
📘 Order my book, Break Up. On Purpose:HERE
📸 Follow me on Instagram:HERE
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Some of the hardest truths about relationships are the ones we spend the most time avoiding. I’m talking about the conversations that challenge the way we think about marriage, love, resentment, breakups, and even our own intuition.
I start with a controversial idea: I think marriages need to die. Not because divorce is the goal, but because long-term relationships can’t survive if the old version of the marriage is expected to stay the same forever. Growth asks us to let old dynamics end so a new relationship can be born.
I also answer some of your relationship questions about resentment, breakups, choosing the wrong partners, trusting your gut, and what happens when love activates old attachment wounds.
I talk about:
Why marriages need death and rebirth to keep growing
How life transitions reshape relationships
Why feelings and capacity are two different things
The difference between loving someone and choosing someone
What resentment is communicating before it destroys a relationship
How overfunctioning creates hidden resentment
Why breakup anger often belongs to an older wound
How to move through anger without letting it make decisions
Why intuition whispers and anxiety argues
How childhood experiences shape what my gut tells me
If you enjoyed this episode, subscribe for more conversations about relationships, healing, attachment, and personal growth. If this episode spoke to you, leave a comment and share it with someone who needs this reminder.
🎙️ Connect with me:
📘 My latest book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest.
https://www.harpercollins.com/products/love-hard-on-purpose-john-kim?variant=44339801227298
My book publishing company: Soulprint
https://www.soulprintmedia.co
📘 Read my book in progress, Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You, on Substack:
https://substack.com/@theangrytherapist
If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available here:
https://theangrytherapist.thrivecart.com/secure-self-bundle/
Order my book, Break Up. On Purpose:
https://www.harpercollins.com/products/break-up-on-purpose-john-kim?variant=42305553956898
Follow me on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/theangrytherapist/?hl=en
Find out more:
https://www.theangrytherapist.com/
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
In this episode, I reflect on what I’d tell myself 10 years ago about losing everything, rebuilding, and learning that security was never really about what I owned. I also share a story about a local surfer in Costa Rica who offered to teach me after watching me struggle in the water every day. What stayed with me wasn’t the surfing—it was the feeling of being seen, believed in, and chosen at 52. Sometimes the thing we need most isn’t more confidence. It’s someone saying, “I see what you’re trying to become. If this episode resonated with you, be sure to follow the podcast, leave a rating, and share it with someone who might need to hear it.
Connect with me:
📘My latest book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest. https://www.harpercollins.com/products/love-hard-on-purpose-john-kim?variant=44339801227298
My book publishing company: Soulprint https://www.soulprintmedia.co
📘 Read my book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on my SubStack https://substack.com/@theangrytherapist
If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available here. https://theangrytherapist.thrivecart.com/secure-self-bundle/
📘 My book, Break Up On Purpose: https://www.harpercollins.com/products/break-up-on-purpose-john-kim?variant=42305553956898
📸 Instagram: https://instagram.com/theangrytherapist
🌐 Find out more: https://www.theangrytherapist.com/
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Are you staying because you want to or because you’re afraid to leave? In this Therapy Thursdays, I answer your questions about fading attraction, slow-burn love, situationships, and healing after heartbreak. We also talk about what it takes to start liking yourself again. And before you decide there’s no spark, there’s one question worth asking yourself…
🎙️ Connect with me:
📘 My latest book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest. HERE
My book publishing company: Soulprint https://www.soulprintmedia.co
📘 Read my book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You onmy SubStack HERE
If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE
Order my book, Break Up. On Purpose, HERE
Follow on Instagram HERE
Find out more HERE
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Shefali who is an NYT bestselling author of The Conscious Parent and The Awakened Family. She is also a clinical psychologist, an international speaker and a wisdom teacher, integrating Eastern philosophy with Western psychology.
We talk about what it actually means to raise conscious boys and girls in a world that is changing faster than ever.
We talk about the different things boys and girls are missing today, from physicality, movement, mentorship and healthy masculinity for boys to voice, self-trust and protection from the pressures of social media for girls. We also get into how much of parenting is really about our own wounds, fears and unresolved experiences.
Dr. Shefali also shares her own struggle with staying present, letting go and trusting her daughter instead of constantly trying to prevent discomfort or rescue her. We talk about the messy process of parenting, learning to hold space for our children, and eventually becoming less central in their lives.
We talk about:
What boys and girls need from parents today.
Why boys need movement, adventure, mentorship and healthy initiation.
The importance of giving boys a pathway toward conscious masculinity.
Why young men can become vulnerable when they don't have healthy male mentors.
How social media and unrealistic standards are affecting girls.
The difference between empowerment and seeking approval.
How pornography and the internet have changed childhood.
Why parents need to be more present and vigilant without becoming paranoid.
How our own childhood experiences can shape the way we parent.
Why parenting can become a mirror into our own unconsciousness.
The challenge of letting go, trusting and allowing children to experience discomfort.
Why boundaries can become harder to establish when we don't set them early.
What it means to parent without trying to mold your child into who you think they should become.
The eventual goal of moving from center stage to backstage in your child's life.
Why there is no perfect way to parent and why making mistakes is part of the process.
Connect with Dr. Shefali:
Preorder Raising Conscious Sons and Raising Conscious Daughters:
https://www.drshefali.com/raisingconscious-daughters-sons/
Official website:
https://www.drshefali.com/
Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/doctorshefali/
Parenting & You podcast:
https://www.drshefali.com/podcast/
Book tour:
https://raisingconscious.drshefali.com/tour/
🎙️ Connect with John:
📘 My latest book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest. HERE
My book publishing company: Soulprint https://www.soulprintmedia.co
📘 Read my book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You onmy SubStack HERE
If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE
Order my book, Break Up. On Purpose, HERE
Follow on Instagram HERE
Find out more HERE
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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