The 3D Parent Podcast

Uneven Distribution of Emotional and Mental Labor in Parenting Partnerships May 30, 2021

Show notes

In this episode of the 3D Parent Podcast, I’m discussing the uneven distribution of emotional and mental labor and how this impacts parenting partnerships. Emotional and mental labor is the work required for both logistical and psychological aspects of families. It doesn’t usually affect marriage partnerships until after couples have children. And the sad truth is that typically, one person in a marriage is doing the majority of the work. In heterosexual couples, it’s usually women. In the episode, I’ll illustrate what this unequal division looks like and how it can impact your family.

Points we discuss include:

Examples of emotional and mental labor
Who takes on the work
The impacts of the unequal distribution of labor
What to do about it

Carrying the majority of mental and emotional labor for your family is exhausting, but the first step to changing it is awareness of it. I encourage you to talk about this issue and share this episode with people you care about to get the discussion going. I hope that this episode validates your experience and gives you some tools for starting to shift the unequal balance.

I’ll see you back here after the summer break! Stay tuned for some exciting and fresh content in August. Have a great summer vacation.

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The Bulk of Emotional Labor Falls on Moms

EPISODE RESOURCES:

Moms Do More Invisible Labor

The Hidden Load

Could Sleep-Away Camp Be Beneficial for Your Child? May 23, 2021

Show notes

In this episode of the 3D Parent Podcast, we are talking about sleep-away camp and whether or not your child should go. This can be a wonderful opportunity for your child to grow in maturity and independence, make new friends, and just have an incredibly fun summer experience. Today, I’ll guide you through some things to consider as you decide whether attending a sleep-away camp would be a good option for your child.

Points we discuss include:

Possible benefits of sleep-away camp
How to prepare your child for camp
How to help your child hold onto your connection when you are apart
Post-camp “re-entry”

Sleep-away camp can be an invaluable experience for children. They have the opportunity to make memories and friendships that last a lifetime. However, your child may not be ready for it yet, or it may not ever be a good fit for them. You have to find the opportunity that’s best for you and your family. I hope this episode helps you take the necessary steps to make this decision.

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Homesick and Happy: How Time Away from Parents Can Help a Child Grow

EPISODE RESOURCES:

Why Don’t My Kids Listen (and How Do I Fix This)?! May 16, 2021

Show notes

In this episode of The 3D Parent Podcast, I’m talking about why kids don’t listen to their parents. This is an issue I hear many parents talk about in my coaching practice, and I also have personal experience with this issue as a mother of four children. Parents often assume that kids don’t listen because they are being disrespectful or lack discipline. But it’s actually an issue with how parents communicate.

Points we’ll discuss include:

The reasons children don’t listen
How parents can fix the issue

We all would love our children to do what we say just because we are the parent. But it doesn’t work like that. And ask yourself: do you like to be ordered, threatened, punished, or lectured? Neither do your kids! A relationship-focused approach to communicating with your kids is always better and sets them up for respectful communication with others in the future.

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How to Get Your Child to LISTEN!

EPISODE RESOURCES:

10 Reasons Your Kids Don’t Listen to You

Natural Consequences vs. Imposed Consequences May 09, 2021

Show notes

In this episode of The 3D Parent Podcast, I’m discussing the difference between natural and imposed consequences and how they affect our children’s behavior. All parents want their children to grow into true maturity and take responsibility for their actions. The traditional methods of issuing rewards and punishments may seem to work, but it ultimately backfires. In the episode, I’ll talk about how to use natural consequences and our relationship with our child to help them grow and learn from mistakes.

Points we discuss include:

The difference between natural and imposed consequences
The problem with imposed consequences
Using natural consequences to our advantage
How our connection with children influences their behavior

I hope you'll think a little bit more about the use of both natural and imposed consequences and how they affect your children. When your children make a mistake, I invite you to take a step back and get to the reason why the mistake was made in the first place. Instead of jumping right into issuing an imposed consequence, take a step back and see if you could figure out the root of the behavior. Perhaps nature can teach the lesson through a natural consequence, and you can see if you can help your children come up with their own solution in a way to make things right in the future.

7 SURPRISING BENEFITS OF PET OWNERSHIP FOR KIDS May 02, 2021

Show notes

In this episode of The 3D Parent Podcast, I’m sharing the surprising benefits of pet ownership for children. Taking care of animals can help children develop responsibility, empathy, and motivation. It can be wonderful for both their physical and emotional health.

Points we discuss include:

How pet ownership helps children develop into maturity
The ways animals can help regulate emotions
Points to consider before bringing animals into your family

While pet ownership is a big responsibility, it can bring so much joy into the lives of children. Should you decide to dive into pet ownership, you might discover and experience all the hidden benefits a pet can provide for your child and find a new way to connect as a family through your pet(s).

If you have enjoyed this episode of the podcast, take a screenshot, head on over to Instagram and share it your IG stories and tag me, @the3Dparent

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CONNECT WITH THE 3D PARENT:

25 Benefits for Kids Growing Up with Pets

EPISODE RESOURCES:

How Pets Can Help Children with Mental Health and Development

The Best Pets for Kids at Each Age

12 Best Pets for Kids

13 Low Maintenance Pets for Kids

Episode 19: The Power and Importance of Play

Episode 23: Parenting the Highly Sensitive “Orchid” Child

Episode 42: Parenting Dominant “Alpha” Children

Episode 47: Encouraging Empathy in Children

Episode 50: Parenting an Anxious Child

Episode 70: How to Help the Child who Bullies

BEST SCHOOL FIT FOR HIGHLY SENSITIVE CHILDREN Apr 25, 2021

Show notes

In this episode of The 3D Parent Podcast, I’m focusing on finding the best school fit for highly sensitive children. Typical or traditional school environments can often be highly overwhelming and even wounding for highly sensitive children. An overly stimulating classroom can cause high alarm for children with this temperament. Today we will examine the unique needs of children who are highly sensitive and discuss how to make the best decision for your child and your family.

Points we will discuss include:

How traditional school environments affect highly sensitive children
Special considerations for the schooling environment of highly sensitive children
How to know if your current school environment is working or if it’s time for a change

If you have a highly sensitive child and a typical school environment seems like it is not a good fit for your kid or is not working, you may be right. Realize that you may need to go down a different path than you anticipated or change your child’s world if it is not working. And remember that what’s needed now will not necessarily be what is needed forever. Trust yourself to make the best decision for your child and your family.

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Episode 23: Parenting the Highly Sensitive “Orchid” Child

EPISODE RESOURCES:

The Perfect School for Highly Sensitive Children Article

TIME-OUTS: ARE THEY IN OR OUT? Apr 18, 2021

Show notes

“Time-outs use your relationship as something that can be given and then taken away; it makes your relationship with your child conditional.”

Time-outs are a widely utilized parenting technique. A time-out is a punitive consequence used to “teach a lesson” to a child. While this technique is popular and recommended by many professionals, there is evidence that time-outs do much harm and very little good for the parent-child relationship. That’s why in this episode of The 3D Parent Podcast, I will share why time-outs are problematic and suggest ways to discipline without using time-outs.

Points we will discuss include:

Why time-outs are so widely used
How time-outs can strain the parent-child relationship
Alternative strategies to using time-outs

Discipline choices either contribute or detract from the conditions which are optimal for growth, maturation, and the development of self-control. You cannot force maturity through time-outs. In fact, you may even stall true maturation and make it more difficult to have the power to influence your child through your deep connection.

Perhaps it is the time-out itself which needs a time-out! I hope that you will think twice before giving a time-out and try a connecting strategy instead.

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The Trouble with Time-outs article by Deborah Macnamara

EPISODE RESOURCES:

DECODING BEHAVIORS WITH THE 3D PARENT LENS Apr 11, 2021

Show notes

“Most problematic behaviors are driven by an unmet need. So the question is not what to do, but rather, what’s the cause?”

In this episode of The 3D Parent Podcast, I’m focusing on one of the most common questions I get in my coaching practice. Many parents ask how they should respond to particular behaviors of their children. They ask, “What should I do when my child behaves like…” I can tell in their questioning that they are looking for a tool, trick, or fitting punishment/consequence to match and solve the behavior. However, what they should be asking instead is, “What is driving this behavior?” When parents can name the cause of the behavior, then they will realize they know how to respond.

Points we will discuss include:

Six essential needs our children have
What it looks like when these needs are met and unmet
How to determine and respond to our children’s needs

Parents, remember that it’s not about “what to do when…” That’s the wrong question. Asking that question is causing you to lose your sense of intuition and direction. Instead, it’s about asking what unmet need is driving the behavior. I invite you to put on your 3D Parent lens and determine what unmet need is causing the behavior and then provide the answer by meeting the need.

If you have enjoyed this episode of the podcast, take a screenshot, head on over to Instagram and share it your IG stories and tag me, @the3Dparent

Do you have a parenting question for an upcoming episode? I would LOVE to connect with you and answer your questions. Please share your parenting question here!

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CONNECT WITH THE 3D PARENT: