Text Me Back! With Lindy West And Meagan Hatcher-Mays

Latest Episodes:

Lindy and Meagan Have Bigfoot Derangement Syndrome Aug 06, 2026

Show notes

Really really quick: are YOU a Blue Angel? Sorry, but why are you up there DOING that? Knock it off already!!!!

Okay but this week we have all sorts of things we’re getting into, and not with ten thousand guesses will you get where ANY of these segments are going. I Can Fix Her. Snake of the Week. Whatcha Watchin’. And we gotta keep it TOIGHT because Barry is getting burry and he needs a blowout!

On the Whatcha Watchin’ docket, we bring you the review of a lifetime…movie! (insert Meagan mouse giggle). Please do your homework before class and come prepared to talk about:

-The Wife Who Knew Too Much (Spoiler Alert! She didn’t snow SHIT)

-Betrayed by My Bridesmaid

-She’s Obsessed with My Husband

-Pool Boy Nightmare

If you’re a Lifetime Network executive who wants us to watch every thing Lifetime has ever made for lots and lots of money, write in at deartextmeback@gmail.com! And listeners please do let us know whatcher YOU Watchin?

NEVER LISTENED TO THE POD BEFORE? HERE IS YOUR STARTER KIT TO BEING BFFS WITH US!

Learn all about the Kayak Dad lore in: It’s Our First Episode!
Meet Kevin in: Lindy and Meagan Need to Talk About Kevin
Learn why they keep saying BBW in Lindy and Meagan Are Officially BBWs

WE NEED OUR ACCOLADES! It helps people find the show.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (5 stars only please) on Spotify
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (5 stars only please) on Apple Podcasts
Give us Rave Reviews and Accolades on Apple Podcasts!

Our go-to podcast

My husband and I save each week's episode for Sunday when we get breakfast and run errands. People in other cars must think we're maniacs the way we're laughing together but whatever, it's our favorite podcast and favorite part of the weekend. We love Text Me Back so much!

TEAM JELLY OH TO BE THE PEANUT BUTTER TO YOUR JELLY SANDWICH!!!! THANK YOU FOR RUNNING ERRANDS WITH US!!!

STUFF TO CHECK OUT:

Order Lindy’s book!!!! Adult Braces
NEWSLETTER ME BACK (A FREE WAY TO SUPPORT THE SHOW!)
Check out SWAMP PERSON
Subscribe to Lindy’s newsletter butt news!
Check out our MERCH so we can make MORE merch!! (Patrons get a discount, so check us out at patreon.com/textmebackpod)
Listen Ad-Free by joining our $12 Patreon tier Freakaconda!
Subscribe to Lindy’s newsletter butt news!
Join our Discord! We’re obsessed with these people.

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If you like this episode and want us to keep making the show forever, please subscribe to our Patreon. This podcast will always be free, but we need your help to produce it -- and if you support our Patreon, you'll get all kinds of goodies in addition to the show itself! Learn more about the different tiers and rewards here: https://www.patreon.com/TextMeBackPod

Also! Please keep in touch with us! You can text OR CALL us at the Best Friend Party Phone: (703) 829-0003.

We're on Instagram at @textmebackpod!

You can email us at deartextmeback@gmail.com!

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU SO BAD!

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TEXT ME BACK is a production of Lindy West and Meagan Hatcher-Mays, proud members of the BFF Network. Our senior producer is Meagan Hatcher-Mays. Our other senior producer is Lindy West. Our show is produced by Alli Slice.

Our music is by Chief Ahamefule J. Oluo. Diana Bowen is our video and creative advisor. Our digital strategist is Chance Nichols.

You can also follow the podcast on Instagram and TikTok @textmebackpod. And for even more bestie content, follow Lindy and Meagan on Instagram at @thelindywest and @importantmeagan!

TEXT ME BACK is a comedy podcast where Lindy West and Meagan Hatcher-Mays spiral about politics, pop culture, dogs, space, friendship, anxiety, Lord of the Rings, and whatever cursed topic is haunting them that week. Along the way, they’ve welcomed brilliant and hilarious guests including Lizz Winstead (The Daily Show), Kelsey McKinney (Normal Gossip), Samantha Irby (We Are Never Meeting in Real Life), Guy Branum (Hacks), collaborators, comedians, political experts, writers, and internet icons for deeply unserious conversations.

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See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Lindy and Meagan are Grey Pasty Goo Balls Jul 30, 2026

Show notes

Toot toot! All aboard the ferry! Getcha chowda here, guvna!

Today we bring you a sensational episode we’re calling Animal Digest: Seattle Drift // LOW TIDE Edition. Basically we’re talking about all varieties of animals. The ones we eat, the ones we pet. And of course, the ones that scream. Can you believe Producer Alli…did that? Vegetarians GET HER ASS. Do YOU like episodes where we list animals?? Tell us…whatr yourzzzz via the Best Friend Party Phone (703) 829-0003.

BUT FIRST, what’s going on with flavor? Specifically Guy Fieri’s flavored water. Let us know YOUR hack takes at deartextmeback@gmail.com.

And being at these old stomping grounds meant that Lindy and Meagan ran into friends, former classmates, and friendly neighborhood tattoo artists allll over town. Special shoutout to Adults in the Room, some big news coming outta that pod soon 👀

And heads up sweeties: you can join our After Dark on Sunday, August 30th! What are we going to talk about? Only one way to find out–tune in over at patreon.com/textmebackpod

NEVER LISTENED TO THE POD BEFORE? HERE IS YOUR STARTER KIT TO BEING BFFS WITH US!

Learn all about the Kayak Dad lore in: It’s Our First Episode!
Meet Kevin in: Lindy and Meagan Need to Talk About Kevin
Learn why they keep saying BBW in Lindy and Meagan Are Officially BBWs

WE NEED OUR ACCOLADES! It helps people find the show.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (5 stars only please) on Spotify
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (5 stars only please) on Apple Podcasts
Give us Rave Reviews and Accolades on Apple Podcasts!

I love them.

Such a funny and silly and thoughtful podcast - it's a treat every time it comes up on my feed.

MOLLYMO3 YOU ARE SUCH A TREAT WE LOVE LOVE YOU!!

STUFF TO CHECK OUT:

Link to Ace & Jig dress
Link to CVAR
Link to Daybobbin’ Nightbobbin’
Order Lindy’s book!!!! Adult Braces
NEWSLETTER ME BACK (A FREE WAY TO SUPPORT THE SHOW!)
Check out SWAMP PERSON
Subscribe to Lindy’s newsletter butt news!
Check out our MERCH so we can make MORE merch!! (Patrons get a discount, so check us out at patreon.com/textmebackpod)
Listen Ad-Free by joining our $12 Patreon tier Freakaconda!
Subscribe to Lindy’s newsletter butt news!
Join our Discord! We’re obsessed with these people.

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Also! Please keep in touch with us! You can text OR CALL us at the Best Friend Party Phone: (703) 829-0003.

We're on Instagram at @textmebackpod!

You can email us at deartextmeback@gmail.com!

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU SO BAD!

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Our music is by Chief Ahamefule J. Oluo. Diana Bowen is our video and creative advisor. Our digital strategist is Chance Nichols.

You can also follow the podcast on Instagram and TikTok @textmebackpod. And for even more bestie content, follow Lindy and Meagan on Instagram at @thelindywest and @importantmeagan!

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See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Lindy and Meagan Have Some Gay Gossip Jul 23, 2026

Show notes

Can you believe that it’s a different day???? Thank you PENNEYS 💅

We have important cultural news: Did you know that mall is still a place? Do the teens know about it? The answers may surprise you.

PLUS, a new microsegment we’re calling: That’s Annoying to Me. Are you a restaurant calling yourself Eggsl*t? Why did you do that?

And guess what? You thought Pride was over? Guess again, ding dong. Pride is NEVER over at Text Me Back podcast! We are allies and some of us have a wife! 🌈🌈🌈Today we bring you gay thoughts, gay advice, and a new recommendation for the LGBTQ+ acronym. You’re welcome, or we’re sorry. We also have BIG GAY NEWS about DC comic book figures. You’ll nevvvver guess who is secretly kissing whom in the retcon. Are you a bi? Call in at (703) 829-0003.

NEVER LISTENED TO THE POD BEFORE? HERE IS YOUR STARTER KIT TO BEING BFFS WITH US!

Learn all about the Kayak Dad lore in: It’s Our First Episode!
Meet Kevin in: Lindy and Meagan Need to Talk About Kevin
Learn why they keep saying BBW in Lindy and Meagan Are Officially BBWs

WE NEED OUR ACCOLADES! It helps people find the show.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (5 stars only please) on Spotify
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (5 stars only please) on Apple Podcasts
Give us Rave Reviews and Accolades on Apple Podcasts!

My best para social friends

This show is so silly and fun and funny. I've followed Lindy since her days writing scathingly hilarious movie reviews where I immediately said I need so much more of this voice! I don't really listen to podcasts but this is the exception. I love the micro, midi, and maxi segments and all of the inside jokes these two let us in on. I've taken to singing crazy lady living in a bag when I non sequitur which is often! Anyway if I could give extra stars I would. Love this pod.

ALIB784 WE COULD DO A MAXI SEGMENT ON OUR LOVE FOR YOU BABE!!!

STUFF TO CHECK OUT:

Order Lindy’s book!!!! Adult Braces
NEWSLETTER ME BACK (A FREE WAY TO SUPPORT THE SHOW!)
Check out SWAMP PERSON
Subscribe to Lindy’s newsletter butt news!
Check out our MERCH so we can make MORE merch!! (Patrons get a discount, so check us out at patreon.com/textmebackpod)
Listen Ad-Free by joining our $12 Patreon tier Freakaconda!
Subscribe to Lindy’s newsletter butt news!
Join our Discord! We’re obsessed with these people.

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Also! Please keep in touch with us! You can text OR CALL us at the Best Friend Party Phone: (703) 829-0003.

We're on Instagram at @textmebackpod!

You can email us at deartextmeback@gmail.com!

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU SO BAD!

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Our music is by Chief Ahamefule J. Oluo. Diana Bowen is our video and creative advisor. Our digital strategist is Chance Nichols.

You can also follow the podcast on Instagram and TikTok @textmebackpod. And for even more bestie content, follow Lindy and Meagan on Instagram at @thelindywest and @importantmeagan!

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See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Lindy and Meagan are Not Irie Jul 16, 2026

Show notes

We’re alive and in the flesh! That’s what they’re saying!!!!

The lore in this episode is not to be missed. A new Text Me Back cast member has entered the villa and she is something to behold. We would share her to the IG, but fear we would be banned from the network forever. Tune into the youtube over at www.youtube.com/@textmebackpod for the juice–and special shoutout to Rosalie Gale of Ugly Baby, Belinda The BOLD and her Unique Boutique, and our many wonderful Seattle pals for introducing this new icon.

New Microsegment in this episode: The Concept of Having a Younger Brother. Younger brothers? We’re onto you, and we don’t like it. Little sisters, tell us what YOU get up to via the BFF Part Phone (703) 829-0003.

And is everything irie in this episode? No it is not. Sorry in advance, we should probably have cut all that. If you are an offended Jamaican, please do write in with your thoughts and complaints at deartextmeback@gmail.com so we can issue a personal apology and DO NOT make our bad behavior your stim of the week!!!

Special thanks to Labour Temple in Seattle for the gorgeous space!!!

NEVER LISTENED TO THE POD BEFORE? HERE IS YOUR STARTER KIT TO BEING BFFS WITH US!

Learn all about the Kayak Dad lore in: It’s Our First Episode!
Meet Kevin in: Lindy and Meagan Need to Talk About Kevin
Learn why they keep saying BBW in Lindy and Meagan Are Officially BBWs

WE NEED OUR ACCOLADES! It helps people find the show.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (5 stars only please) on Spotify
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (5 stars only please) on Apple Podcasts
Give us Rave Reviews and Accolades on Apple Podcasts!

Two besties making us and each other laugh

A pleasure to listen to two funny gals talk about everything from the crucial to acknowledge democratic and capitalist decay, but more importantly, and much more frequently, the absolute absurdity and silliness that is life. From snakes, to butts, to food, to TV- these two cover it all with humor. Thanks Lindy and Meagan!

EMILY ANNA ALL THE IMPORTANT JOURNALISM YOU COULD POSSIBLY NEED!!! YOU’RE SO WELCOME EMILY!!!!

STUFF TO CHECK OUT:

Ace & Jig (Lindy’s vest!)
Check out Rosalie’s store Ugly Baby
Order Lindy’s book!!!! Adult Braces
NEWSLETTER ME BACK (A FREE WAY TO SUPPORT THE SHOW!)
Check out SWAMP PERSON
Subscribe to Lindy’s newsletter butt news!
Check out our MERCH so we can make MORE merch!! (Patrons get a discount, so check us out at patreon.com/textmebackpod)
Listen Ad-Free by joining our $12 Patreon tier Freakaconda!
Subscribe to Lindy’s newsletter butt news!
Join our Discord! We’re obsessed with these people.

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Also! Please keep in touch with us! You can text OR CALL us at the Best Friend Party Phone: (703) 829-0003.

We're on Instagram at @textmebackpod!

You can email us at deartextmeback@gmail.com!

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU SO BAD!

⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°

Our music is by Chief Ahamefule J. Oluo. Diana Bowen is our video and creative advisor. Our digital strategist is Chance Nichols.

You can also follow the podcast on Instagram and TikTok @textmebackpod. And for even more bestie content, follow Lindy and Meagan on Instagram at @thelindywest and @importantmeagan!

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See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Lindy and Meagan Lay Slob Watch TV Jul 09, 2026

Show notes

GOO GOO GAH GAH

We are two camera-ready babies who are continuing our Pulitzer-level reporting on P*SS ADDICTED GOATS. You all need to take a course on BASIC SURVIVAL. We're worried about you!!!! And thank you to everyone who called in and brought their lack of self-preservation to the forefront. Straggling thoughts welcome on the P*ss Freak Hotline (703) 829-0003. And Janice?

Goat Janice??? We're watching you, sweetie.

But first! We gotta talk about Costco. The good people from Kirkland USA got our asses. Apparently we DO need thousands of dollars worth of popcorn on the regular. Feels good to admit it. Costco, you got two (2) BBW influencers at your disposal singing your praises, let us knowwwww deartextmeback@gmail.com

Plus, as promised Meagan comes forth with an important installment of TikTok Digest: Religious Psychosis Edition. And we may or may not supersize the ep to placate the Marble voters of America. Tune in to find out if your vote really matters or if Text Me Back is running a sham democracy!

And a new segment you literally cannot miss. We're calling it... Agatha Christie. The segment rings in a defining moment in Text Me Back history, and all we'll tell you in the shownotes is that it has something to do with Hoarders.

And for the record, MHM is NOT retired! But if you want to keep her gainfully funemployed, consider becoming a beautiful member of our patreon!

Patreon.com/textmebackpod.

NEVER LISTENED TO THE POD BEFORE? HERE IS YOUR STARTER KIT TO BEING BFFS WITH US!

Lindy’s weird card writing episode in Lindy and Meagan Corner the Zombie Pig Demographic
Listen to Meagan surrender to the experience in the Buggy lady episode in Lindy and Meagan Lead as Two Kings
Listen to Stephen’s diss-track episode: Lindy and Meagan Escape Through a Grizzly’s Colon
Learn all about the Kayak Dad lore in: It’s Our First Episode!
Meet Kevin in: Lindy and Meagan Need to Talk About Kevin
Learn why they keep saying BBW in Lindy and Meagan Are Officially BBWs

WE NEED OUR ACCOLADES! It helps people find the show.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (5 stars only please) on Spotify
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (5 stars only please) on Apple Podcasts
Give us Rave Reviews and Accolades on Apple Podcasts!

My Weekly Treat

To make cheese straws, combine 2 cups of self-rising flour, 1/4 teaspoon of cayenne pepper, and 1/4 teaspoon of salt. Mix in 2 cups of shredded sharp cheddar cheese and 1 cup of softened butter, then pipe or shape the dough into straws and bake at 350°F for 10-15 minutes until lightly browned.

RABBITSA YOU HAVE PROVIDED IN INCREDIBLY VALUABLE SERVICE TO US. YOUR BBWS THANK YOU.

STUFF TO CHECK OUT:

Order Lindy’s book!!!! Adult Braces
NEWSLETTER ME BACK (A FREE WAY TO SUPPORT THE SHOW!)
Check out SWAMP PERSON
Subscribe to Lindy’s newsletter butt news!
Check out our MERCH so we can make MORE merch!! (Patrons get a discount, so check us out at patreon.com/textmebackpod)
Listen Ad-Free by joining our $12 Patreon tier Freakaconda!
Subscribe to Lindy’s newsletter butt news!
Join our Discord! We’re obsessed with these people.

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Also! Please keep in touch with us! You can text OR CALL us at the Best Friend Party Phone: (703) 829-0003.

We're on Instagram at @textmebackpod!

You can email us at deartextmeback@gmail.com!

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU SO BAD!

⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°

Our music is by Chief Ahamefule J. Oluo. Diana Bowen is our video and creative advisor. Our digital strategist is Chance Nichols.

You can also follow the podcast on Instagram and TikTok @textmebackpod. And for even more bestie content, follow Lindy and Meagan on Instagram at @thelindywest and @importantmeagan!

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See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Lindy and Meagan are Urine-Addicted Mountain Goats Jul 02, 2026

Show notes

Today we take on the No Stephen Challenge wherein we DETHRONE Kingleheimer Stephen by spending 20 talking about how we’re not going to talk about him!

Before we kick Stephen to the curb, we use his tragically epic jingle for Normal News. And to really stick it to him, we’re using the segment to talk about feral piss-addicted goat freaks. Take THAT, Stephen!!!!!

And then…squish squish we’re gettin’ a little swampy. We’re talking about the renovations that our Supreme Leader has brought to our country! Thank you! We think the pool looks GREAT with the algae, struggling ducklings, and the peeling paint! We see the vision, king!!! If YOU want to hear more political digests by the one and only Meagan Hatcher-Mays, subscribe to Swamp Person on Substack.

And we are taking listener feedback for TikTok Digest!!! Should Meagan cover a) marbles or b) potluck/religious psychosis? Write in atdeartextmeback@gmail.com

NEVER LISTENED TO THE POD BEFORE? HERE IS YOUR STARTER KIT TO BEING BFFS WITH US!

Listen to Stephen’s diss-track episode: Lindy and Meagan Escape Through a Grizzly’s Colon
Learn all about the Kayak Dad lore in: It’s Our First Episode!
Meet Kevin in: Lindy and Meagan Need to Talk About Kevin
Learn why they keep saying BBW in Lindy and Meagan Are Officially BBWs

WE NEED OUR ACCOLADES! It helps people find the show.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (5 stars only please) on Spotify
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (5 stars only please) on Apple Podcasts
Give us Rave Reviews and Accolades on Apple Podcasts!

Mood booster

Love, love, love this nonsense!

NIKKI6335 READING THIS IS *OUR* MOOD BOOSTER! I GUESS WE’LL KEEP DOING THE PODCAST!!

STUFF TO CHECK OUT:

Order Lindy’s book!!!! Adult Braces
NEWSLETTER ME BACK (A FREE WAY TO SUPPORT THE SHOW!)
Check out SWAMP PERSON
Subscribe to Lindy’s newsletter butt news!
Check out our MERCH so we can make MORE merch!! (Patrons get a discount, so check us out at patreon.com/textmebackpod)
Listen Ad-Free by joining our $12 Patreon tier Freakaconda!
Subscribe to Lindy’s newsletter butt news!
Join our Discord! We’re obsessed with these people.

⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°

Also! Please keep in touch with us! You can text OR CALL us at the Best Friend Party Phone: (703) 829-0003.

We're on Instagram at @textmebackpod!

You can email us at deartextmeback@gmail.com!

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU SO BAD!

⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°

Our music is by Chief Ahamefule J. Oluo. Diana Bowen is our video and creative advisor. Our digital strategist is Chance Nichols.

You can also follow the podcast on Instagram and TikTok @textmebackpod. And for even more bestie content, follow Lindy and Meagan on Instagram at @thelindywest and @importantmeagan!

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See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Lindy and Meagan Gotta Be Honest With You Guys Jun 25, 2026

Show notes

BAD BOYS BAD BOYS WHATCHA WATCHIN’ DO

Is this you? If so, you’re under arrest!

-Loves Pornography

-Martial Arts?

-No Girlfriend

This week we’re talking all about The Killer™ Wendy Williams under our Whatcha Watchin’ vertical. You should be able to guess what that means:

🚨 Spoilers Alert + Content Warning! 🚨

We discuss The Murder of Rachel Nickell (33:51 through 33:58), Worst Ex Ever (40:00 through 41:51), and Yogurt Shop Murders (43:41 through 45:02). And The Crash (45:03 through 47:10).

But let’s wind it back – first things first, Tidings! Today, we brush against MHM’s moral edge: Sorry kiddos, ball is hers. To see the art piece known as “BALL IN FERRY”, please go to www.youtube.com/@textmebackpod. And while you’re there, why wouldn’t you be playing Kingleheimer Stephen’s diss track on repeat? Also, we finally render a verdict on Kingleheimer Robert. Tune in to hear the result.

And Lindy’s tiding: Do YOU know about throuple? Are YOU willing to read paperwork! Congrats, you’re her new marriage counselor!!!!

Plus, MEAGAN HATCHER-MAYS comes with a surprise microsegment she’s calling: ✨DENNIS ✨. Do you know about Dennis? Let us know! Call in at (703) 829-0003 🍑

Would YOU like to buy us a podcast award? Webbys start at $500! Venmo is https://www.venmo.com/u/textmebackpod…something to consider

And last but not least PLEASE tell us if you’re watching the Men’s World Cup and if you know any cute stories about the fellas on the field. Write in at deartextmeback@gmail.com.

NEVER LISTENED TO THE POD BEFORE? HERE IS YOUR STARTER KIT TO BEING BFFS WITH US!

Listen to the full diss-track episode: Lindy and Meagan Escape Through a Grizzly’s Colon
Learn all about the Kayak Dad lore in: It’s Our First Episode!
Meet Kevin in: Lindy and Meagan Need to Talk About Kevin
Learn why they keep saying BBW in Lindy and Meagan Are Officially BBWs

WE NEED OUR ACCOLADES! It helps people find the show.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (5 stars only please) on Spotify
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (5 stars only please) on Apple Podcasts
Give us Rave Reviews and Accolades on Apple Podcasts!

A delightful romp

A highlight of my podcast week. Always makes me laugh!

INDEVELOPMENT READING THESE WORDS WAS THE HIGHLIGHT OF OUR WEEK!!!!

STUFF TO CHECK OUT:

Order Lindy’s book!!!! Adult Braces
NEWSLETTER ME BACK (A FREE WAY TO SUPPORT THE SHOW!)
Check out SWAMP PERSON
Subscribe to Lindy’s newsletter butt news!
Check out our MERCH so we can make MORE merch!! (Patrons get a discount, so check us out at patreon.com/textmebackpod)
Listen Ad-Free by joining our $12 Patreon tier Freakaconda!
Subscribe to Lindy’s newsletter butt news!
Join our Discord! We’re obsessed with these people.

⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°

Also! Please keep in touch with us! You can text OR CALL us at the Best Friend Party Phone: (703) 829-0003.

We're on Instagram at @textmebackpod!

You can email us at deartextmeback@gmail.com!

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU SO BAD!

⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°

Our music is by Chief Ahamefule J. Oluo. Diana Bowen is our video and creative advisor. Our digital strategist is Chance Nichols.

You can also follow the podcast on Instagram and TikTok @textmebackpod. And for even more bestie content, follow Lindy and Meagan on Instagram at @thelindywest and @importantmeagan!

⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Lindy and Meagan Escape Through a Grizzly’s Colon Jun 18, 2026

Show notes

No point in hiding the ball here…Stephen is back and he is coming out SWINGIN. You literally HAVE to stay tuned through to the end to hear Kingleheimer Stephen drop a diss track that is…well we don’t have words.

But first! It’s Tidings: ESP/N Edition. Meagan tells us all about her baseball adventures! S/O Julio Rodriguez mwah 😘miss you love you!!! If YOU have a Mariners hookup to get a ball signed, you’re legally obligated to tell us, it’s in the fine print and you should KNOW that. Write in at deartextmeback@gmail.com

Tidings melds into...DUN DUN: Judge Meags Lane! She is back and hearing two highly unusual cases. Jurors are being summoned to rule on the perennial question: eagle feather or ghost? Call in with thoughts (703) 829-0003. The second case? Why, it happens to be snake-related, thank you for asking. Judge Meags Lane reviews one (1) piece of critical evidence. JOIN THE DISCORD TO SEE MEGHAN’S WATER-DRINKING HOGNOSE SNAKE. Patreon.com/textmebackpod

And we bring back one of our oldest segments: Low Stakes Advice! We don’t know why your life is the way it is, but we CAN answer small and stupid questions. Thank you to Google Gemini for being absolute trash, our faith in humanity is restored .01%.

Plus, psssst…wanna enjoy our iconic After Darks? Pop on over to the Patreon, babe, we’re waiting for ya!

NEVER LISTENED TO THE POD BEFORE? HERE IS YOUR STARTER KIT TO BEING BFFS WITH US!

KAYAK DAD VS SOCIOPATH WHO LITTERS: It’s Our First Episode!
Meet Kevin in: Lindy and Meagan Need to Talk About Kevin
Learn why they keep saying BBW in Lindy and Meagan Are Officially BBWs

WE NEED OUR ACCOLADES! It helps people find the show.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (5 stars only please) on Spotify
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (5 stars only please) on Apple Podcasts
Give us Rave Reviews and Accolades on Apple Podcasts!

Life-sustaining!

Dear Lindy and Meagan,

Thanks to your podcast, I now no longer need antidepressants. In fact, l have almost entirely transcended physical/emotional needs. I started listening when your first episode aired and within a month or two I realized I could wean myself from nearly all other forms of sustenance.

For at least a year now, I have been able to subsist upon only water, air, and my weekly infusion of Vitamin TMB. (I am giving some thought to forgoing water as well. I don't think I need to explain to you that never having to pee ever again would be a priceless reward. Let me know if you think fluids might be a crutch I don't need anymore.)

Please keep making this podcast forever, if only to keep me loosely tethered to this mortal plane. Thank you for your attention to this matter.

With gratitude,

Your Most Devout TextMeBackolyte

MZCRIZ WE ARE WORKING ON DISCOVERING A WAY TO SURVIVE WITHOUT WATER–WHEN WE FIND OUT HOW YOU WILL BE THE FIRST PERSON TO KNOW!

STUFF TO CHECK OUT:

Order Lindy’s book!!!! Adult Braces
NEWSLETTER ME BACK (A FREE WAY TO SUPPORT THE SHOW!)
Check out SWAMP PERSON
Subscribe to Lindy’s newsletter butt news!
Check out our MERCH so we can make MORE merch!! (Patrons get a discount, so check us out at patreon.com/textmebackpod)
Listen Ad-Free by joining our $12 Patreon tier Freakaconda!
Subscribe to Lindy’s newsletter butt news!
Join our Discord! We’re obsessed with these people.

⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°

Also! Please keep in touch with us! You can text OR CALL us at the Best Friend Party Phone: (703) 829-0003.

We're on Instagram at @textmebackpod!

You can email us at deartextmeback@gmail.com!

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU SO BAD!

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Our music is by Chief Ahamefule J. Oluo. Diana Bowen is our video and creative advisor. Our digital strategist is Chance Nichols.

You can also follow the podcast on Instagram and TikTok @textmebackpod. And for even more bestie content, follow Lindy and Meagan on Instagram at @thelindywest and @importantmeagan!

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See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Lindy and Meagan Take the Stand Jun 11, 2026

Show notes

Meagan is 44 years old!

If you’re reading this, you should have called in yesterday to wish her a happy birthday. She mighta been busy bc she is treating herself to a cardiac event or two at a sports game. Is it POTS …or (S)PO(R)TS??

Plus, we lament the rise and fall of blond-haired white boys. Spoiler Alerts for Alias (2001-2006) and Lost (2004-2010).

But taking center stage is Judge Meags Lane! We are reviewing three issues for the day:

Issue #1: Is Lindy guilty of being a big ol’ b-word?

-On the bench: Judge Meags Lane

-Defendant: Lindy West, representing herself

-Prosecution: Lindy West

The Facts:

Lindy has to interpret a TSA line in an airport. A lady in front of her forgets she has a belt on and gets booted from the line. Lindy advances within the line. A lady tries to cut in front of Lindy. Lindy has forgotten that this lady is the belt lady and says no cut-sies.

Issue #2: Should we sentence Patrick Ta to 12 years of hard labor?

-On the bench: Judge Meags Lane.

-Defendant: Patrick Ta, represented by Meagan Hatcher-Mays

-Prosecution: Meagan Hatcher-Mays

The Facts:

??????

Issue #3: Is Robert a lying liar?

-Overseeing the case: The Textmebackoytes

-Defendant: Jingleheimer Robert, representing himself

-Prosecution: Lindy West and Meagan Hatcher-Mays

The Facts:

Robert is charged with heresy in the first degree in suggesting that other podcasts exist. Robert admits on tape that he has listened to and written music for this supposed “other” podcast.

Tune in to hear the verdicts and sentencing! And if you are in the petit jury of Textmebackolytes on Robert’s case, please call in ASAP or we will send out a subpoena on your ass (703) 829-0003.

NEVER LISTENED TO THE POD BEFORE? HERE IS YOUR STARTER KIT TO BEING BFFS WITH US!

Meet Kevin in: Lindy and Meagan Need to Talk About Kevin
Learn why they keep saying BBW in Lindy and Meagan Are Officially BBWs
Discover the Kayak Dad Lore in: It’s Our First Episode!

WE NEED OUR ACCOLADES! It helps people find the show.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (5 stars only please) on Spotify
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (5 stars only please) on Apple Podcasts
Give us Rave Reviews and Accolades on Apple Podcasts!

The Reason Podcasts Were Invented

I have been listening to Text Me Back! since the very first episode and it has only gotten better and more hysterical as it goes along. It is a hilarious beacon of light in these dark times. Thank you Lindy and Meagan for sharing your thoughts with us. Mwah!

ORYX_AND_CAKE THANK YOU FOR BEING ONE OF OUR BEST AND MOST LOYAL FRIENDS IN THESE DARK TIMES–ROBERT TAKE NOTE!!!!

STUFF TO CHECK OUT:

Order Lindy’s book!!!! Adult Braces
NEWSLETTER ME BACK (A FREE WAY TO SUPPORT THE SHOW!)
Check out SWAMP PERSON
Subscribe to Lindy’s newsletter butt news!
Check out our MERCH so we can make MORE merch!! (Patrons get a discount, so check us out at patreon.com/textmebackpod)
Listen Ad-Free by joining our $12 Patreon tier Freakaconda!
Subscribe to Lindy’s newsletter butt news!
Join our Discord! We’re obsessed with these people.

⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°

Also! Please keep in touch with us! You can text OR CALL us at the Best Friend Party Phone: (703) 829-0003.

We're on Instagram at @textmebackpod!

You can email us at deartextmeback@gmail.com!

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU SO BAD!

⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°

Our music is by Chief Ahamefule J. Oluo. Diana Bowen is our video and creative advisor. Our digital strategist is Chance Nichols.

You can also follow the podcast on Instagram and TikTok @textmebackpod. And for even more bestie content, follow Lindy and Meagan on Instagram at @thelindywest and @importantmeagan!

⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Lindy and Meagan are Two of Gaia’s Children Jun 04, 2026

Show notes

Today, we discuss ending the podcast. We decide…we still like doing this shit! Turns out podcast fun? Podcast helpful? Podcast...hopeful? Even though we didn’t win a Golden Globe, that DOESN’T mean we didn’t deserve a Golden Globe. Maybe next year! If you want us to keep podcasting forever, please give us some yummy yummy affirmations! We live off of your written reviews, your Patreon bucks, and your general accolades. That’s honestly the main reason we’re still here, so THANK YOU to everyone who supports us on the regular.

Since we decided to continue the podcast, we’re thrilled to introduce a new segment: The 🦅Foundation of Society 🦅. Are you the only person on planet earth? Huge if true. Write in at deartextmeback@gmail.com

And guess what kiddos, it’s a Snake of The Week/Segment P.U.B.E.S crossover! That could only mean one thing: Robert Fitzwilliam Kennedy is involved.

Stay tuned to the end for updates on Segment Dictionary: I Swallowed Wrong and It Went Down The Wrong Pipe/I Choked On My Own Spit. We have some new verbiage we’d like to you to consider, vote on, and start implementing immediately.

SUPPORT RAIMUNDO

As anyone who has met him can attest, Rai is a supernova of love and joy who would do anything for his community, and Rai's community is the whole world. It's time to reflect that love back to him. We encourage our Textmebackolytes to donate $1, $5, $12, whatever you can. Thank you to our lovely Patrons who have empowered the podcast to support our friend.

https://www.gofundme.com/f/support-raimundo-stephanie-during-cancer-treatment

NEVER LISTENED TO THE POD BEFORE? HERE IS YOUR STARTER KIT TO BEING BFFS WITH US!

Revisit the first appearance of Dr. Freek Vonk and Freekaconda in Lindy and Meagan have Died of Dysentery
Meet Kevin in: Lindy and Meagan Need to Talk About Kevin
Learn why they keep saying BBW in Lindy and Meagan Are Officially BBWs
Discover the Kayak Dad Lore in: It’s Our First Episode!

WE NEED OUR ACCOLADES! It helps people find the show.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (5 stars only please) on Spotify
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (5 stars only please) on Apple Podcasts
Give us Rave Reviews and Accolades on Apple Podcasts!

A weekly brain reset

I look forward to every weekly release of these crazy ladies (complimentary)! They always make me laugh and simultaneously feel *seen* as I talk back to my car radio. Thank you, Lindy and Meagan!

FAVHRNSTR IT IS THE HIGHEST COMPLIMENT TO BE THE JEANINE IN YOUR BRAIN

STUFF TO CHECK OUT:

Sam Sanders ep: Does Pop Culture Give a F*#% about Friendship?
Order Lindy’s book!!!! Adult Braces
NEWSLETTER ME BACK (A FREE WAY TO SUPPORT THE SHOW!)
Check out SWAMP PERSON
Subscribe to Lindy’s newsletter butt news!
Check out our MERCH so we can make MORE merch!! (Patrons get a discount, so check us out at patreon.com/textmebackpod)
Listen Ad-Free by joining our $12 Patreon tier Freakaconda!
Subscribe to Lindy’s newsletter butt news!
Join our Discord! We’re obsessed with these people.

⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°

Also! Please keep in touch with us! You can text OR CALL us at the Best Friend Party Phone: (703) 829-0003.

We're on Instagram at @textmebackpod!

You can email us at deartextmeback@gmail.com!

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU SO BAD!

⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°

Our music is by Chief Ahamefule J. Oluo. Diana Bowen is our video and creative advisor. Our digital strategist is Chance Nichols.

You can also follow the podcast on Instagram and TikTok @textmebackpod. And for even more bestie content, follow Lindy and Meagan on Instagram at @thelindywest and @importantmeagan!

⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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