Terrible Person

Latest Episodes:

Ryan Murphy's Lady Lawyers Pt 2 Nov 14, 2025

Show notes

How does a conversation start with oyster crackers meant for soup and end up as a full-scale debate about celebrity hotness rankings, fast food dessert scams, and why every online platform eventually turns into a magnet for predators. It opens with hunger logic and snack crimes, the kind that turn a couch into a crumb scene and a Sunday afternoon into a running argument about who forgets grocery staples, who drops food everywhere, and what counts as a normal amount of crackers to inhale just to “absorb the acid.”
Somewhere in the middle, a rhinestone-covered gingerbread house that lights up becomes a serious creative project, complete with battery paranoia and a very specific fear of doing hours of work for a total Christmas Vacation-style failure. Then it pivots hard into celebrity attraction math. Leonardo DiCaprio eras, Brad Pitt timelines, Ryan Reynolds falloff, Joaquin Phoenix face debates, and the sudden rage sparked by people rebranding their own names. It slides into pop culture side quests like It’s Always Sunny seasons that feel like a punishment, the celebrity business industrial complex, and the idea that making makeup, tequila, or supplements is the safest way to stay famous without ever risking a new album.
The internet segment gets darker fast. A lawsuit over a kids game being used for grooming, the memory of AOL-style chat room “asl” moments, and how easy it was to think you were talking to a teenager when it was probably a grown man. It jumps to viral headlines that feel fake but are real, including a hotel worker washing stained sheets in a hot tub while guests are still in it, plus the bleak realization that a lot of “safe” spaces are only safe until someone figures out how to exploit them.
Food comes roaring back at the end with Taco Bell’s Baja Blast pie hype, the rage of app-only menu items that never exist at your location, and the familiar corporate trick of going viral just to get people in the door. It closes where it began, with petty domestic chaos turned into a full argument archive, crumbs, orzo everywhere, and “Gary” and “Selena” treating minor messes like evidence in a case that will never be dismissed.

Ryan Murphy's Lady Lawyers Pt 1 Nov 14, 2025

Show notes

On this episode, terrible person covers a mix of trending news, weird stories, and everyday disasters. Topics include Kim Kardashian reportedly failing the bar exam, the most commonly missed warning signs of dementia, and Trailer Park Boys actor Mike Smith being charged with sexual assault. There’s also a discussion about Christopher Nolan’s Tenet and whether it’s genius or nonsense, the strange design of hydrofoil racing sailboats, and the difference between luxury yachts and simple chill boats. Other highlights include a kitchen meltdown caused by bugs in flour and Target pasta, a talk about how restraining orders actually work, and speculation about Zach Bagans’ haunted museum.
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Wet Ass Pizza Pt 1 Nov 07, 2025

Show notes

"Gary" and "Selena" spiral through awkward vape shop encounters, Comic-Con chaos, and how close things came to going very wrong at a convention tied to Power Rangers lore. The conversation jumps from cosplay weapons and near-death moments into celebrity transformations, reality TV fatigue, and the strange evolution of fame over time.
"Gary" and "Selena" dig into nostalgia, boyhood TV obsessions, Halloween letdowns, and how growing up changes the way public spaces, pop stars, and traditions feel. Along the way, food disasters, overpriced groceries, wet pizza regret, and everyday domestic annoyances turn into the kind of rambling that only makes sense when you hear it happening in real time.

Wet Ass Pizza Pt 2 Nov 07, 2025

Show notes

How does a conversation start with a Silence of the Lambs quote hunt and end with an extremely detailed review of a bathroom upgrade that becomes a full debate about the physics of aiming, the ethics of “priming,” and what qualifies as a peanut-butter situation. It opens in full movie-nerd mode with Buffalo Bill voice impressions, actor trivia spirals, and side quests through Monk, Wings, and why a forgotten talking-parrot movie deserves more respect than it got. That turns into horror recommendations that feel like a trap, including Bring Her Back and the kind of scenes that permanently live in your brain once you have heard them, plus the rage that follows when a movie’s logic falls apart the moment you think too hard about basic parental supervision. Then it slides into reality TV discomfort and social dynamics. Sister Wives gets analyzed like a hostage negotiation, especially the boyfriend meeting that turns into a job interview, complete with power plays, weird hypotheticals, and the kind of performative masculinity that makes everyone in the room sweat.
The film talk gets meaner and more specific with a reassessment of Tenet that goes from “genius” to “actually terrible” once you start rewatching it, plus the broader Christopher Nolan problem of confusing the audience on purpose. Interstellar gets a reluctant pass, Batman movies get separated into a different category entirely, and The Odyssey becomes a future anxiety spiral about what happens when a director can’t resist making everything a puzzle. Then the conversation takes a hard left into pop culture discourse and the strange new era of gambling apps, lingerie branding, and algorithmic brain rot. A Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show watch turns into a bigger argument about presentation, identity, and how quickly people start second-guessing what they are looking at once the framing gets weird, followed by a bleak detour into Garfield bingo, mobile slots, and the depressing math of tiny winnings that only exist to keep people hooked.
It closes with maximum inappropriate domestic logistics when “Gary” and “Selena” install a bidet and immediately treat it like a product review, a scientific experiment, and a moral crisis all at once. Water temperature preferences, feature settings, seat-heating skepticism, cold plunge jokes, and the growing realization that the real horror movie is two adults discussing bathroom mechanics with this much confidence.

One Eye Bob Pt 2 Oct 31, 2025

Show notes

Do pop stars age out of relevance overnight, or does the culture just decide it is bored all at once. A casual opener about Sabrina Carpenter versus Taylor Swift turns into a broader teardown of pop star energy, homeschool vibes, relationship branding, and the moment when celebrities stop feeling aspirational and start feeling deeply uncool. Kardashian fatigue sets in, Travis Barker affection becomes suspicious, and Blink-182 lore somehow drifts into alien conspiracies, government disclosures, and the creeping sense that the weirdest guy in the band might have been the most normal one. The middle stretches into full paranormal tourism.
Mushroom gummies, the Zak Bagans museum, crawl spaces, cursed boxes, salt circles, and the specific discomfort of being trapped in a room longer than you want to be while something unseen feels like it is watching. The line between “vibes” and fear gets blurry, especially when time stretches, expectations collapse, and you realize how long five hours can feel when you are waiting to leave. From there it jumps straight into road rage sociology. Neighborhood speed enforcers, aggressive middle fingers, polite honks gone wrong, and the quiet code drivers develop to survive traffic without losing their minds.
Courtesy flashes, moral victories, and the strange power trip of controlling a lane for three seconds too long. The last stretch zooms out into money, status, and systems that quietly rot everything they touch. Sports gambling scandals, point shaving, fake competition, and the unsettling idea that entire leagues function more like scripted entertainment than fair play. Youth sports, sororities, travel teams, and coaching grifts stack into one long argument about parents outsourcing childhood, paying obscene amounts of money for manufactured experiences, and confusing pressure with purpose. It ends in a place that feels fitting. Overthinking, exhaustion, side arguments, sudden sincerity, and the slow realization that most of this chaos comes from people trying too hard to win systems that were never designed to be fair in the first place.

One Eye Bob Pt 1 Oct 31, 2025

Show notes

What happens when a month off turns into a loose, spiraling reentry full of tech indecision, pop culture resentment, and deeply specific grievances that have been waiting patiently to come out. It starts with a deceptively simple question about buying a new phone and immediately unravels into nostalgia for smaller devices, trade-in scams, Apple Store psychology, and the quiet fantasy of accidentally losing a phone just to force a reset. That momentum carries straight into television disappointment, especially the growing frustration with prestige crime shows that feel more interested in shock, sex, and symbolism than actually telling a coherent story.
From there, celebrity irritation takes over. Ryan Murphy fatigue, Kardashian burnout, Travis Barker suspicion, radio personalities who confuse relevance with coolness, and the strange confidence of people who think money automatically makes them interesting. Industry stories bleed into resentment about executives, private jets, fake wellness drinks, and the surreal experience of watching corporations collapse upward while everyone else gets nothing. The conversation keeps sliding into modern anxiety. Microplastics, micro metals, vitamins that do not dissolve, medicine that does not work, and the creeping sense that everything sold as “healthy” will eventually turn out to be a scam.
Childhood myths get revisited, gum swallowing gets disproven the hard way, and bodily oversharing becomes unavoidable. By the end, it settles into domestic chaos and media overload. Troubled-teen shows, cult logic, unnecessary TV sex scenes, cat-sitting paranoia, door-checking rituals, and the constant low-grade stress of trying to be responsible while everything feels slightly out of control. “Gary” and “Selena” circle all of it with no real conclusion, just the relief of saying the quiet parts out loud.

Let Them (FREE EPISODE ONLY) Sep 28, 2025

Show notes

What starts as a casual “free episode” immediately turns into a long spiral about modern TV pacing, cultural burnout, and why nothing can just come out all at once anymore. Streaming shows get put on trial, from the surprising strength of Wednesday to the slow, hypnotic frustration of Severance, where episodes blur together and entire seasons feel like endurance tests. Long waits, split releases, and cliffhangers turn watching television into a commitment instead of entertainment, raising the question of whether patience is a virtue or just something audiences are being forced into. From there it slides into domestic logistics and low-stakes victories. Storage units as adult milestones, reclaimed closet space, Halloween decorations expanding unchecked, and the quiet satisfaction of finally having somewhere to put seasonal nonsense.
Candy becomes a problem. Sour coatings, rough textures, citric acid regret, and the universal truth that snacks somehow get louder at night. The conversation drifts through health anxiety, internet panic cycles, and the constant feeling that everything is either bad for you now or will be later. Old myths resurface, new fears replace them, and certainty remains impossible. Somewhere in the middle, a philosophy emerges: “let them,” except no one can agree on what that actually means in practice. It ends exactly where it should. Hunger, irritation, circular debates, and the realization that deciding what to eat for dinner can be harder than solving any of the bigger problems discussed along the way.

P.T. So Delicious Sep 14, 2025

Show notes

A free-flowing conversation moves from pop culture curiosity into heavier cultural reflection, starting with skepticism around celebrity-centered documentaries and how obsession gets packaged as storytelling. Current events cast a shadow over the episode, touching on political violence, public discourse, and the uneasy feeling of living through moments that instantly become history. Memories of September 11 resurface, focusing less on spectacle and more on what the day felt like in real time, how schools reacted, how adults behaved, and how confusion lingered long after.
From there, the discussion veers into noise, modern life overload, and how constant stimulation makes silence feel unsettling. Airplanes, traffic, and background chaos turn into a meditation on how rarely things actually stop anymore. The tone swings again into dark humor and late-night philosophy. Aliens, simulations, UFOs, ghosts, the afterlife, and whether existence is closer to a game, a loop, or a one-time experience. Big questions collide with absurd hypotheticals, half-formed theories, and the realization that nobody really knows anything. The episode winds down with everyday friction and intimacy. Travel memories, exhaustion, creative hobbies, unfinished projects, and the way hunger and heat can derail any conversation. Serious thoughts dissolve into jokes, irritation, and the familiar rhythm of talking in circles until dinner becomes the only remaining problem.

Ambushed for Content Pt 2 Sep 06, 2025

Show notes

A conversation that starts with everyday background noise and drifts straight into modern paranoia. Surveillance cameras, license plate readers, and how easily movement data is tracked without anyone noticing. A deep dive into rehab and sober-living scams, insurance fraud, and the way addiction treatment can be exploited for profit. From there it slides into sleep deprivation, falling asleep on the couch, silent retreats, desert heat walks, and the strange feeling of being watched while moving through normal neighborhoods. Ordering food regret becomes a surprisingly emotional topic, followed by weight, diet, dopamine, and how people cope with stress through food. The second half spirals into AI-generated hypotheticals, parasocial fans, viral humiliation, simulation theory, free will, NPC behavior, and whether modern life already feels scripted. Surveillance, burnout, paranoia, and internet brain all collide in one long unravel.

Ambushed for Content Pt 1 (w/ Johnjay Van Es) Sep 06, 2025

Show notes

A loose, chaotic hang that starts with food talk and pop culture burnout before spiraling into celebrity obsession, oversaturation, and how fame rewires the way people talk about relationships. A surprise phone call turns into a long catch-up covering radio life, documentaries, true crime fixation, Amanda Knox, and the strange comfort of shared media memories. From there it veers into Vegas stories, haunted museums,
Blue Man Group chaos, mushrooms, horror movies, and why certain attractions feel cursed on a spiritual level. Horror films, conspiracy curiosity, cult vibes, and morbid collectibles blur together with industry nostalgia, creative burnout, and the weird afterlife of public personas. By the end it’s movie recommendations, true crime spirals, celebrity fatigue, and the kind of conversations that feel half nostalgic, half unhinged, and completely unscripted.

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